You Deserve To Be Loved & Chosen, Not Almost Loved Or Almost Chosen | In Your Feelings, Ep. 47 

I've noticed that so many people are desperate to find real love. Everything she said here is true. But also, check on yourself, do the hard work of truly searching what makes you like the people you like. Work on yourself so hard that you know your value not because you are hot but because you broke the cycle and did the work you needed to do. Because you are capable of being by yourself. Look for the trauma, look for the shadow part of yourself. There is no point in judging how others treat us if we are not willing to search inside. Take responsibility too. Please don't think "finding the right person" will change your life or it will make you happy. Put your expectations on yourself, in how you live your life, and stop caring about other people's life (including those who look like they have a perfect life). Focus on being thankful for the many forms of love you experience daily. Do not waste time holding grudges because a relationship didn't go the way you wanted, don't blame yourself or other people. You got to love the process, not only the goals. There is love out there for you.

"You deserve to be loved and chosen..not Almost loved or Almost chosen" THat is ssoo truee .this explainns so much of me always feeling the ALMOST and not being worthy.

Ive never even been almost chosen, you cant help but think something MUST be wrong with you

My heart is so broken.....I broke my own heart cause I knew he didn't want a relationship he just wanted the benefits..I fooled myself into thinking I could handle it cause I loved him and maybe he would eventually love me back......he died about two weeks ago and now I feel broken and lost......💔💔💔💔

I don't feel like I will ever find real love

😮What wonderful words. Five minutes in and I said this is for me. Thank you sweet lady!!❤ At 72, hopeful is a good exercise.

Hi Bianca, This was a very powerful podcast. It made me cry because I have witnessed that same type of love with my late parents. My mother had been permanently sick since a few years after I was born. I love seeing my parents together, and unfortunately that love I witnessed went away when my mother became sicker than usual in her last months I saw a change in my father that baffled me. I couldn't understand who was the man I was seeing in front of me during that time. I vowed from that day I did not want a future partner or love like that. I wanted the relationship I saw that my parents had a few years before my mom had fallen ill. I still believe in it, even though I have not met the right suitors. It is challenge to keep my heart open, I am trying though. Starting with fixing the broken pieces from 11yrs ago. I look forward to hearing more of your podcasts. Blessings ❤️🦋

After 35 years, there's no one out there for me. Done.

Your words changed my perspective. Now you have a dedicated listener. Thank you. I’m not crazy crying. I’m not upset. I’m looking at it differently where if I let go and don’t put in all this effort, maybe someone meant for me will come for me. I’m dealing with not even getting bare minimum. I deserve better. Making room for something i deserve.

Future? The future I dreamed about is gone. I’m 53 and never been in a relationship. At this point in life I’ve completely lost interest. I now realize there was no point in ever pursuing it in the first place. There are several things I did well in life, but love wasn’t one of them. It’s just that simple, no need to complicate it.

In my past relationships, I was always almost chosen and almost loved even when I stayed with them at their lowest, help them and love them endlessly. Because I am not the person who took people heart for granted and use manipulative mind. When they came back they simply want the benefits and not the relationship. I came to realised they were simply toxic and took my good empath heart for granted. And after staying single for three years, I met this guy who loved me and treated me with love, care and affection unlike any guys in my past and I even thought him to be the one since in my past relationships I was taken for granted and being cheated on. As I started to heal and finally got the nerves to be in a relationship again, I thought things were getting better but this guy who showed that he loved me for once even cheated on me. Eventhough he regret it and begged for forgiveness I cannot trust him anymore. Now i am all numb, not knowing how to love anymore and dying slowly everyday. If I ever fall in love again, I just want to be loved and chosen and hope I loved him dearly as much as he loved me.

It is an addiction for the priviledged. One must focus on oneself and it's liberation.

The love you describe is the love I have the capacity to give a woman just haven't found the one life partner that will love me the way I do and matches me on that intensity too

No one deserves to be loved. Love is a sacrificial gift. If we deserved love we could demand it like a worker demands their wages. Until love is understood as a sacrificial gift, it will never be fully appreciated. Today, tell someone who loves you, 'thank you for loving me'.

I feel sadness and hopeless I'm so hurt but I'm grateful I came across this it helps!

Thank you for helping me not feel broken and unworthy.. and thank you giving me hope that I’ll find someone who can love me the way that I love

.... this video made me cry, when I was hopeless. .. Thank you.

Thank you B! im literally crying here. I really needed to hear this episode. Today was one of those days where i felt negative and almost just gave up believing true love exist. but thank you for reaffirming that it does and it will happen one day.

I feel so discouraged and hurt....💔💔

.... this is one of the most beautiful things I've ever watched in my life.

i reluctantly clicked on this video half thinking "oh great more love advice" but your words and sentiment were heart felt and genuinely helpful for me at a really low point. Thankyou so much for the reminder

When I hear or read something from Bianca Sparacino I feel understood. I feel seen. I feel a sense of hope and encouragement knowing that there are other deep feelers and lovers in this world too. Thank you B for this beautiful heartwarming Podcast! I love you! 🌹

I think my personal practice on finding love, and not only romantic... I want friends who see and appreciate my heart as well. But I am cultivating a practice of leaning into love from a wise and discerning space, rather than a naive space. Awesome episode!

Bianca! I bought your book !Gentle reminder" and it's the first thing I read in the morning and the last thing that comes into my consciousness. Your words are truly special and healing! Thank you for sharing your light, love and your beautiful soul. I admire you so much:) You inspire us to spread love too:) Thank you for being you! By Miku

This was so sweet, needed the lift

I wasted four and a half years thinking he would finally chose me pick me love me and then he died I am so confused and hurt........why wasn't I good enough??😪

Oh this is exactly exactly how I’ve been feeling loved your book and discovered your podcast never felt words so comforting thank yoy

I used to hope like this untill a COVERT narcissist came along an seemed to be those things untill i gave up my home and moved im with him.. Be careful dear. Your heart makes you a target 😢

... this made me cry, like few other things in my life. Because I AM like yo Bianca. My heart, it is like yours. And.. the kind of love, that you're talking about, the one of your parents... it's the same my mom and dad had. I've seen it too, with my own eyes. .. but, since my Dad died, .. I think I kinda stopped believing in it. ... this video, reminded me of who I am. Of the kind of things I believed in, and searched for.. It reminded me of the person I've always been. And I can't thank you enough for that.

I feel like an island. I feel so alone in my convictions. I get laughed at, I deal with so many evil people, and it's getting closer and closer to much harder times. I've seen so many instances of long time love just DYING. i don't know if I'll ever be held in the same bed again. I'm a heretic. I'm a social pariah. I'm a non-conformist. I don't know if I deserve forever love after all the big mistakes I've made. I feel like a TOTAL FAILURE of a man.

I love this podcast, love your voice.

dang....i really needed this video today

I really needed this. Thank you. ❤

I met a friend at work 5 years ago. I instantly bonded with her & we began hanging out. 8 months later, she left for her hometown & it hurt to see her go. I tried maintaining our friendship even after she left, and it worked for a while. After one bad incident at a theme park, she avoided me for 2 years. We cleared the air about a lot in Jan 2023 & I thought things were finally gonna get better. As of June 2023, we went our separate ways and I was blocked off due to bringing up our past again. I’ve been severely depressed since & I miss her very much. I screwed our friendship all because I couldn’t let go of past issues.

beautiful message thank you

What you have said is heart warming, thank you for this. Lol

Thank you so much

I need this!!!!

Thanks B, this is such a beautiful message for my heart, and I believe many of us have healed in somehow by listening to your words. I truly wish all of us the soul we all deserve ❤️

Thank you so much ❤❤

Thanks.

Really odd but perfect timing. Thank you, I think love is bullshit, and I haven't felt it from a romantic partner thus far so yes I don't believe it exists... thank you for this video 🙏❤ I needed to hear this and I know a lot of other people probably do to.

Love does not exist. I'm 35 and I've Never Been Loved. I have been told I'm too kind

looking forward to hear this soon!! 🤍🌱

Waiting for this

He hurt my but I still love him and can’t forget him

I don't have anything to give but only love..i don't have money, i don't have any house, i don't have any asset, i lost my father, i don't anyone who can support me. I only have a small job and a responsibility to take care of my mother, sister and my niece financially, mentally and in every way. People like me does deserve a family? Does I deserve a loving husband? Does I even deserve to be a mother...? Boys showed pity on me..they want to love me only for time pass but not for life long committed relationship. I know I don’t have much to offer in a relationship other than love, loyalty...but they rejected me as i have issues in life. So many times i have been rejected for this reason..so.. I really don’t think that i deserve any love.. I don’t deserve love, loving husband, children...I ACTUALLY DESERVE NOTHING...

I've been waiting for this one for so long. And I predict it will hurt ...

❤️🙌❤️ Wooow

Will this be available in podcast form?

The problem is I miss treated my ex’s heart for a long time and she started to withdraw when I started to clean up my act and really fall in love with my ex

Y are so beautiful😍

I'm a 47 year old man that has never kissed a female and never experienced love or a relationship. Through the years I've come to discover that not all of us are meant to experience love. The one thing that needs to be acknowledged is that physical attraction determines the possibility of love and there are men like me who are so physically unattractive that love from a woman is never a possibility. I learned in in this life that no matter what you do, you will not be chosen because you are simple not good enough. We can all continue to believe the lie from women in this world that looks don't matter, when it clearly does more than ever before. An unattractive man with a great personality will only be put in the friend zone and no considered as a potential mate.

B, where is that candle from?

Do I really deserve love, though?

Some of us are too ugly, too old fashioned and too old for love. Not to mention there are some of us having disabilities that guarantee no love. It hurts, but this is the reality. I was never attractive enough, never religious enough and often too serious to be given a chance. At 44, I raise a white flag of defeat. I will never find a spouse and will never have children.

Biologically speaking, many of us will never be chosen. Our looks simply won't pull them. I'm 45, and all I ever wanted was a Valentines date one time...not happening.

Z

Look for God. He will help you.

Oh Baby your my answer now. You just made me forget all about her. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ Who needs her since I met you! 🎉 Your the missing link to my heart! She can go to HELL! Only eyes 👀 for you now! 💋 💜 😂

In your feelings? Smh. That’s the problem with people today they are so worried about their feelings they can’t think.

This was one of the most sweetest most beautiful videos I’ve ever watched. This helped so much.🥹♥️

Hopeful too, but I don't think there's anyone out there like me🥹YEAHHHH...7...BILLION people and I can't find her🤣😆...WTF???...ur a sweetheart love 🙂thanks, God bless 🙂✌️❤🌞

My heart is so broken.....I broke my own heart cause I knew he didn't want a relationship he just wanted the benefits..I fooled myself into thinking I could handle it cause I loved him and maybe he would eventually love me back......he died about two weeks ago and now I feel broken and lost......💔💔💔💔