Damn.. Dr K nailed it on this one. I especially agree near the end. I like how you explained the beginnings of religion and how people today are simply regurgitating information rather than living the experience themself. This is very true.
I'm going to combine both of these for a minute.. it's kind of reminding me of Jordan Peterson lecture talking about "saving your father from the depths" regarding religion. If people are simply repeating standards and ideas from a religion or belief system but nobody is connected in a sense of living that idea or have experienced some kind of enlightenment then we're following a script. In order to properly revive spirituality we must first start within ourselves.
@@ElectricBoogaloo69that’s a pretty lame reason, buddy. Nobody has ever once consented to being born, doesn’t make it a crime or something that hurt you.
No one asks to be here, but yet here we are… Truthfully without trying to patronize, I like to believe things can improve if we work to improve it but also things can get Way worse if we let it !
I think one of the advantages of the hunter gatherer lifestyle is fight/flight resolution. If you are attacked by a lion you run fight or die, either way, it is resolved. In civilized life, an exam or stressful work event can trigger a fight/flight response, but you can't do either and this just repeats ad nauseum.
Idk man I wouldn’t call being brutally bitten and mauled to pieces by a beast a “resolution”. Life really, really sucks but it’s still wayy better than before
@@luenanda4432 life is indeed better, we can have better health care than medieval royalty and all that, but it does not change the fact that we are still wired as hunter gatherers which can have some strange effects on how we experience modern life. Advantage was the wrong word to use.
@@terranexile3681 That’s very true man. Modern life kind of went too fast for our brains to handle, and the stress definitely sucks. We’ve got an alarming amount of people suffering from mental illness, and a ton more are in states of hopeless despair. I’d say finding a balance would be a neat idea, personally. Still do our life chores(sucks), but sometimes going out of our way to get out into nature and put ourselves in some sort of risk scenario. Maybe not life-death, but something that challenges us out there to scratch that primal instinct we still and will (maybe) always have.
Someone once told me "being neurodivergent makes life an underpaid job". We quite literally aren't given the same dopamine for the same work. Living life like that is literally like working a job where you're not paid what you're worth.
That's not really how the brain works, and dopamine is more associated with precursor motivation rather than reward. Almost everyone under the age of 30 nowadays has some form of ADD, which shows that this is not really a genetic thing in the majority of cases. Technology addiction is extremely prevalent and does not require a genetic predisposition. Just quit your electronic life for a week or 2 (computer, phone, internet, video games, and even tv if you'd like), and I *guarantee* you will feel like a new person who naturally appreciates the small things in life. These devices are essentially drugs.
@@gLitCheRR44 I'm summarizing, and obviously your brain and life aren't "jobs". It's a metaphor, bro. And an extremely accurate one. Also, source? "Where the sun don't shine" doesn't count, I'm afraid.
Not neurodivergent to my knowledge, but I feel this so deeply I hate doing so many things involved with general life, and nobody seems to understand. Like, when I talk about hating the dishes people will say, "Yeah they suck, but I usually just listen to music or something," and they just don't seem to get it. It's just dishes over and over and then one day you die and someone else has to finish your dishes
@@EzaleaGraves yeah and even like pleasurable stuff, like eating. I love food. But I gotta decide meals for every day, shop for them, make them, then eat them, every. single. effing. day. 😞 😮💨
The only (two, actually) things that are literal are your feelings and thoughts. Talk with yourself on that level and not on a high-level dopamine-deficiency concept, it's the opposite of literal. It sounds like it explains something, but if you think about it, it does not help at all. If you tie your happiness to this explanation you will just suffer because you can't influence dopamine (except with drugs, but it's still just a theory), but you can process your feelings and thoughts.
It's undervalued more than anything. Blame the people for making the government be comprised of lip serving grifters and as a consequence keeping your profession in disarray. The world needs teachers, it is the only frontline at giving the commonfolk a chance of becoming something. Understand that rude, obnoxious children are byproducts of their upbringing (intelligence (let alone EQ) does not bar procreation unfortunately). While I know that it would be unreasonable to ask one to go out of one's way to help such children (as such children are the majority and will never cease to grow as long as society favors the scum that procreates them) it would be a disservice to neglect the ones that do desire to become more. You will know that you have found one when their desire to learn is not in the pursuit of status (children don't have any real idea of what it takes to become something so they will say anything to make them look good (same could be said for adults)).
Oh man I really feel for you. The girl who got voted “most likely to succeed” at my high school became a middle school teacher. I felt so bad for her when she cheerily announced her college major. I haven’t been on Facebook in ages but I remember one of the last things I saw on there was her bemoaning how much she hated her job but couldn’t afford to go back to school. She didn’t know how to leave the school environment where she felt like top dog. She was too scared to try for something else. She loved her comfortable STUDENT experience and therefore incorrectly assumed she wanted to be a TEACHER. It is for this reason I feel people shouldn’t be allowed to choose teaching as a profession until they have had another salaried job first. I feel so sad for kids that go straight into teaching. Maybe it’s not too late for you to pivot.
@@NeighborhoodBot That's the stupidest saying ever. You must never have gone to college. At universities, mathematics teach math, engineers teach engineering, writers teach literature and philosophy, researchers teach the sciences, doctors teach medicine, etc.
@@youtubename7819 I always have a backup plan. I don't have any student loan debt, otherwise I never would have gone into teaching in the first place. I'm taking multivariable calc this summer to work towards an engineering degree and math minor.
Dr. K, please do a deep dive on Limerence: Context: It seems the root of my suffering stems from two things: 1. Wanting something I can't have. 2. Having something I don't want. The former: I feel limerence toward someone that is essentially a fantasy or lost cause. My current solution: I cover or blanket this suffering through suffering. What do I mean: I distract, challenge, or force myself through personal projects, hobbies, or bettering myself through physical or cerebral training/development. However, my mind, my body, and my heart won't let go. Freewill: "I can't want to," or I can't force myself to let go. "Killing" Myself: - I feel I need to sacrifice a part of what makes me me. - I reinvented myself in the last five years, but it feels like I haven't changed. -- I feel like a former shell of myself -- I look back and see the change -- When I look where I am, I'm at square one. Gratitude, distraction, discomfort only go so far.
YES!!! I was happy until I experienced limerence at the age of 16 and for the last 12 years life has been somewhere between difficult and absolute hell. This is what destroyed my mental health and fucked up my life.
Wow. Not sure if any of my advice would be useful but I had some thoughts I wanted to share. It sounds like you already realize three things: 1) you need to let go 2) despite *knowing* you need to let go, you can't force your emotions to line up with that knowledge 3) you need to stop using other methods to avoid confronting the truth about #1 and #2. In a romantic context, I have not gone through the same limerance, but 1, 2, and 3 are all things I've struggled with in my own ways. I think your hobbies, personal improvement, etc all sound like great activities to be engaging in. The problem is they won't benefit you if your motivation is to run away from your problems. Meditation is useful here, I literally just spend time feeling shitty and being like "ok, I'm gonna sit here and experience this". Not gonna grab a drink, blast lound music, punch something, smoke weed, order domino's, or whatever else I might want to do. Just sit there and feel emotions. Ouch. But it helps. Free will: I still have the same problem and would appreciate advice from the rest of the internet, I think letting go only happens after you stop wanting to let go. Theory is easier than practice, and I've been able to slowly get more comfortable with myself, which in turn starts to alievate the thing I was suffering from. But it's still true that I cognitively know how to improve my situation but telling myself to "cut it out" doesn't work, and integrating my knowledge into lived experience is a difficult task that I'm not sure I fully understand myself. "Killing yourself": You're right, you still haven't adressed the problems you had 5 years ago. "I feel I need to sacrifice a part of part of what makes me me" - I'm not sure how to react to that but I feel like I know what you mean - maybe that means working on self-acceptance and realizing you don't need to "prove" yourself or do anything to be deserving of love. Yes, we should do shit with our lives and be good people, but everyone deserves love just for being alive. - maybe that also means realizing that "you" are just an aggregate of thoughts, emotions, senses, experiences, etc and that clinging to any identity or self-image too tightly can cause problems. In Buddhism this is the non-self teaching. Historically this came from refuting the Hindu idea of the Atman (soul) being identical to Brahman (ultimate reality). Hinduism (specifically Vedanta) believes in the soul and the "true self", Buddhism not so much. I would consider looking into these teachings and seeing if you resonate with one perspective more than the other. Also, I think given the proper set and setting, psychedelic experiences can be a useful tool in this process of figuring this shit out and working on the individuation process. It's not for everyone and obviously there are still legal barriers, so I can't recommend it outright, but I think I would be neglecting something if I wrote this comment without mentioning it.
I wish I could talk to Dr. K, I always get something out of every video. I haven't really had any role models in my life but Doc is someone I genuinely look up to. One day I hope!
Not gonna lie, last time I had a slip and my daddy issue was at the doors was towards Long John Silver when I watched Disney's Treasure Planet as teenager. Concept of caring older than me man that understands protags issues and will gladly share wisdom was uncomfortable, I shut it, put harder mental barrier. Doc breached this gate open splintering it to pieces so casually that I didn't even notice for months after that something is different, no pain involved. Referencing last vid - it's soo nice to have such "senior elephant", even if just on screen, not my personal and without a chance to share my thoughts back to him. This will have to suffice.
yea, survival used to be everything that is in your mind. Growing up I have never even consider the posibility of not being able to eat tomorrow, all of my worry is always about some distant future like Highschool, College or Job and I was like 12 smh
I don't know about that.. surviving is becoming more difficult again. Just look at the massive increase in homelessness. Things are becoming worse again
@@haydenlee8332I’ve thought about that too. It’s not that surviving is that easy. We still have to work, plenty pay check to pay check. Still have to eat. Still have to take care of your mental/physical health. You have to survive no matter what. Is it less likely you’ll get mauled by a lion? Yes. Is it easier? Less intense sure, but who says this is easy?
Omgs... This is the dark souls mentality hahahah. It's not meaningful because bosses are too easy. But when a boss is hard. Dang does it feel good to take it down!
" subsistence farmer on a small plot of land." You say this as if large sections of the year aren't just spent waiting for things to happen. Self sustaining on a farm does in fact have a ton of time where you don't really have any work to do, not the mandatory kind. It doesn't get more pathetic than trying to shame a person for having negative feelings, and doing that exact crappy thing society does, forcing you into a linear progression that's somehow supposed to be for everyone and punish you for wanting to do something else. In the end life is just a different kind of hard as society progresses. Some things are absolutely easier, like getting treatment and diagnosis for mental issues or just overall health issues. Meanwhile other things like finding a comfortable place to live that won't cost most of the monthly pay check to pay off, leaving scraps for food and such, is becoming damn near impossible in many countries. @@canis_lupus_canus
My professor in psychology who also taught existentialism once mentioned that the world is like a pitch black room and our conscious awareness shines a light on things within that room. What we choose to focus in on is where the light is placed, and it means we can easily miss some aspects of our experience because we are too focused on others. In a way I can see that people overly focused on work and success (or anything really) don't realize they need to shift their flashlight so they can see there is more to life than just an endless grind. Cancer sort of helped me with that. I still struggle with feeling behind, but I also deeply appreciate the friends who were with me during the recovery process, and I've come to understand that though I may now be in debt because of the treatment, it also is not the end of me. I find myself becoming more aware of the role that adversity and torment can play in making us appreciate aspects of our lives more. I shall endure. In enduring, I shall grow strong.
Well said, I wish you a full recovery. As a euroguy I'm assuming you live in the US and it still baffles me that getting chronically sick means you basically live in debt the rest of your life. Hope you manage to grow out of your debt and wish you all the best.
My problem with your professor's analogy is that looking away doesn't make the ugly things disappear. They're still there, looming over your shoulder behind you. Forcing yourself to only face one direction is no different from sticking your head in the sand. You could argue that you can live life focused on the positive while still acknowledging that the negative side exists. Great. But it's still there. Whether or not you acknowledge it makes no difference.
Hi, im the Op. First of all HOLY SHIT I GOT A DOCTOR K VIDEO LESS GO. Second of all thank you for the response, it really means a lot to me because i feel like ive been heard. That being said tho i had one question. On one hand this video talks about changing your perspective on things live your life, which is a good argument, but then doctor k proceeds to say that happiness comes from doing what you truly want to rather than what you should. I cant seem to see the relationship between these 2 ideas, it seems contradictory. One focuses on changing your internal state, while the other focuses on changing the life around you based on your authentic internal state... I just want this clarified. Thank you.
When you are truly your authentic self, you will find that your brilliance resonates outwards and changes the state around you. Being someone who is happy from within will make you someone who through consistent slight changes over time, is able to create that environment that brings happiness to them anywhere. Does that kinda help?
My mom was born overseas and got to America at around 14 years old she graduated high school and then immediately started working and continue to work her ass off everyday until she was 69 years old. She then retired and they moved down to Florida and within a few months she was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor and 10 months later she passed away. This woman never harmed a soul never got even so much as a traffic ticket and worked very very hard her entire life...... for what??!! Life sometimes seems like a curse
Life is not our friend regardless of who we are and what we have. We are not here to be happy nor to even live well enough to maintain ourselves mentally, physically and emotionally. We are here to suffer immensely to then inevitably die as though we were nothing to begin with. “Life“ is dystopia and so many are blind to it, but I feel more are waking up.
maybe that's what makes her able to works so hard for so long. because her purpose for her children. best we can do is being the best for our children as well.... but ahhhh the cycle when will it stop😢
A wonderful combination of physiology, psychology, philosophy, and spirituality all meaningfully targeted at a very real problem. Great advice as always Dr. K. I needed reminding of this today, thanks :) Gonna print "Where do you like apples?" on a t-shirt and wear it every day
Really good stuff! My problem is I think I want to be depressed and angry some days. I also struggle with simple things like human interactions, Ill walk the long way to not have to see or interact with another person. My disdain for interacting with other people has made me fall way behind in life. all I want in life is peace and quiet away from people. I love walking deep into the woods where I know no one will find me and just do nothing, stare at a tree, let my mind wander, it's just so wonderful.
@@YesIHaveManyProblemsThanksnever think you're alone or have it worse. It's not the panacea for not feeling bad but some solace knowing everyone has their own struggles.
Well people caused all my trauma, so I'm not a fan. Many are ignorant and in denial of the trauma they've endured and perpetrated. When I'm alone in the woods I'm safe from people. I'm free from judgement, criticism, and expectations. I'm free to simply exist and be in nature. I'm fully human when alone in nature. It's peaceful.
Goddamn. Out of desperation, I had been googling "how do I live" and whatnot. I have watched many other videos, got the skills for anxiety, depression, adhd, etc. But... aside from the coping and staying afloat, how do I actually live? My heart stopped for a moment when I saw the new upload. I can't thank and recommend your channel enough.
@@Sealea-nc4znbecause its pointed where it hurts and it makes you really aware by being that you get the attention and it works instead of numbing it and just in a state of auto pilot
To the last point: Something that I find really makes this stick is how people using psychadelics often describe it as a really spiritual experience that reframes their outlook on life. Like how someone fresh off LSD will talk to you about the whimsical nature of autumn leaves turning brown and yellow, or how the sound of rain is soothing (rather than the drab grey in grey visual aesthetic of a rainy day). It kinda reminds me of how I used to experience the world as a child - things are generally just way more fun, when you're not (yet) weighed down by the weight of a future that's not set in stone yet.
Have you tried lsd? Because this perfectly describes my experience. It turned me into a kid. I was endlessly curious about the most trivial details. Possibilities were suddly endless. I was goofy and full of joy. One of the happiest days of my adult life. Probably the hapliest. It truly was like being a child again. Honestly the trippy visuals were a distant intrigue for me compared to how it affected my way of experiencing life
all fair and nice but bro, you still need to earn money one way or another (except of course you choose the path of a criminal and just steal everything you need). i haven't found and can't imagine a way of earning money that doesn't crush my soul.
This really isn't my problem and I feel completely dead inside. I've never been told to follow any path. No one expects anything of me really. I have parents who would support virtually any path I choose. I've never been more unhappy than I am now. I am just numb. Almost entirely anhedonic with no vision of my future and with no idea what to do.
I'm in a similar boat. Examine your life: What are some things you have enjoyed before? Things you have enjoyed throughout your life? That may help give you some direction and an idea of who you are, even if you can't bring yourself to enjoy those things at the present. Second, seriously consider seeking treatment for depression if things are as bad as you say. Third, the answer for people like us may simply be that we require a drastic life/lifestyle change (like really everything needs to change, not just 1 or 2 things in our life); I know this is incredibly hard to do if not impossible without being literally forced to via external factors, but this may be the key. Lastly, it sounds like you are way too worried about your future, so maybe you should stop thinking about it and just let it go. Many people who are objectively successful have boring, uninteresting, and stale lives. You don't want to be like them; create your own path.
One of the most helpful videos I’ve found on this channel is you have no idea who you are. It will won’t solve all of your problems just by watching but it will give you a way out. Seriously helped me so much and changed my life.
I think this could be phrased more compassionately as ... think of it like levels in video games: there are high level areas, there are low level areas in the world map. Our starting gear and XP multiplier is beyond our control. Sometimes people get thrown in an unexpectedly high level area and they start losing a lot, and the unexpected transition is also something outside our control. From someone who's made it, it's easy to look at it as sucking but from their perspective, they just met a ridiculous difficulty spike that they never expected, nor know how to cope with. And let's be real: while most of the time the situations are average level, sometimes, some situations are straight up high level even by the standards of all of humanity. Like being an American low income bracket family that has a traffic accident that insurance doesn't cover. Or being stuck in a deadlock of problems caused by an inescapable abusive household that makes sure that we don't learn lifeskills. But for many of us, I have the feeling it's probably very much like my situation, being raised as a Mommy's Girl/Boy and thinking it's fine to leave everything to mommy and then suddenly realizing that we're 24, we haven't learnt shit about lifeskills because of a helicopter mom that'd actively kneecap our efforts to learn, and then realize we don't know how to cope with life. That's how it happens a lot of the time. Thank you for the video!
I wish he went over how to do this cognitive reframing for the things that are an objective detriment. I don't understand how you re-write the value of something you have no control over. Like needing a job to survive, needing school to get a job to survive, etc.
Aaaand as with most things in life, the answer is: because you're poor. If you had lots of money, AND ACTUALLY STOPPED DOING WORK, you'd be set. No stress. No problem that is unsolvable. Want to go for a skiing trip to Austria? Can go in the same day. A loved one falls ill? Get the best medical help available, without bankrupting your entire family line. Some therapist once said: "psychology is great, but i came to realise that most of my clients problems are stemming from the lack of money" So the goal is to basically get a lot of money and have kids who will live carefree lives. The life that you weren't able to live.
@@suzanneemerson2625 said a person from the comfort of their suburban house in the richest country on the planet. Yeah. Right As a person from the 3rd world, who does better than 90% of my countrymen, and still orders of magnitude is worse off financially, than, like 80% the average Americans. This makes me laugh out loud. If I was in America, I'd already be a millionaire. And I'm only 26. If you live in the States and still are poor, that just means natural selection tbh. Earning money in the US is like on super-easy mode, because of how huge your economy is, and how much disposable income your population has. Something I look at what businesses took off in the USA and think to myself: "This crap worked? Here, nobody would buy this." - and i have this thought more times than i care to count.
@@suzanneemerson2625 OP's argument was bad, but you managed to bring up an even worse counterargument. As for OP's point: No, poverty is not a choice, but happiness is. There are stories of people being happy even in absolute misery. There are stories of Jewish prisoners in 1930s and 1940s Germany being happy. There are many rich people who are absolutely miserable, and only pretend to be happy because then can afford to. Money does make life easier, but it doesn't make it better, at least not by itself.
guess it kinda does. if i had money i wouldn't have to study for college and i'd be instead able to go to all those adventurous trips that i want to, make friends & create a social life & also be able to afford therapy
Tbh i personnally just noticed the way of life in society is a lot harder to achieve than what i was told. Once i realized that, i just started to ask around how people are close to acheving that way of life, and from what ive gathered, everybody i asked werent even close to reaching it and i actually realised my situation was better than what similar people are living through. So i learn to just tempered down my expectation and to find happyness in the smoller thing i experience everyday, like a meal with my family or just achieving something in a game or in life. I just made my expectation and goal smoller cause i realised everybody else around also had as much if not more trouble reaching their goal
For exemple instead of wanting to help groups of people i reduced it to doing smaller and kind gesture to people in need, individually i mean. I can tell yall im prouder for realising my achievement at work and in others area of my life than before, cause i had a bad framing of how easy it was to achieve. Once i realised that i found out i wasnt doing so bad given my situation compared to other people in the same situation as me and i began to be happy with my current situation and wanting to improve it even further.
Yeah, me too. Only part of it is a mental/spiritual problem. The other part is a problem with inflation, wages not rising with productivity, cost of college/housing/groceries/gas/etc, and generally not being able to have the same opportunity that boomers did when they were our age. Heard a joke recently boomers are the first generation who's goal was to have a better life than thier kids. Lol.
@mattbaron14 true, i just try to be better than yesterday, tho that only works if the environment permit it. Im lucky enough to be in such an environment even at 30 year old, not everybody has that chance tho. Its why im trying to not just be better myself everyday, to be bring a bit of happyness to people around me everyday as i know i may not always be as fortunate to live in such an environment as now.
@@mattbaron14 the cause of inflation is corruption/financialization, the military industrial complex/special interest groups are finding clever ways of moving wealth from the working class to the owning class
I'm going though this exact struggle right now. Like, it just feels life is constantly hard and just get increasingly harder. There are so much things we have to handle. We have to keep ourselves physically fit, mentally well, then be financially stable. But to do that you need to build skills and knowledge to get a job that you want. And even all that you may want to pursue your own interests and hobbies. And this is just personal growth. If you want to have a partner and form a family you have to deal with that, not to mention dealing with your own family and the inlaws. How about friends and coworkers then. All these while trying to avoid pitfalls like addiction, procrastination, toxic relationships, etc. and time is short. And as Dr K mentioned we weren't taught how to handle all of these in school. We were just expected to develop these life skills as they pile on schoolwork, projects and exams. With the idea that if you can handle these, you should have the critical thinking to handle whatever life throws at you. Life is not that simple anymore.
I think one of the best things I ever did in life was started extra curricular activities in high school. I wish I had been involved in stuff earlier, but a lot of my current work ethic comes from my coaches instilling good work ethic and reasons why I should put myself through hardships. I’m not sure why teachers weren’t able to do this, and my parents really only taught me self care and moral lessons, but were never successful at teaching me to want to do difficult things, I always felt forced to do chores, no desire to actually do them for myself.
Same here. My patents ent me to a private school and i always had the suspicion that they didnt know what to teach me. In my 20s i realized that i had to learn how to live. Its a grueling process and counter intuitive. I find that the adults in my life could only offer basic advice.
Life doesn't suck because we suck at living. Life would be perfectly fine if we didn't make it miserable for each other. Let me give you an example: Imagine you get thrown in a pool where you have a perfectly fine time swimming around, until someone comes around starts dragging you under for their own fun. I believe you'd develop an aversion towards pools, not because of the water but because at any given moment someone could pull your leg and almost drown you for a joke bro. Now I'm listening to people telling me the water isn't that bad. The source of misery in my life is exclusively people. No cat, no dog, no tree, no car, no failed project, only people. And as far as i remember it's been exclusively ego things, where someone kicks over your house of cards because it happens to be two stories higher or because the cards you use happen to be pink, not because you did anything wrong. I mean i get it, if everyone is fighting you have to learn how to fight. Question still stands, what's the point?
The way I see it is everyone, to a degree, is a victim of their own circumstances, and the greater society that breeds these people is what needs to change. That person who drags you under the pool is awful, but what made them like this? Maybe someone dragged them under a pool as a child, and this is the way they've learned to be powerful. Because at the end of the day, our current society values power and control and ownership over all else. Have a higher job title than your peers. Own more stuff than your friends. Make so much money that you can sit upon your own throne in a nice big mansion all to yourself. It's always a game of climbing over someone else to get the tastier fruit. But no one ever asks what the cost is, or why we are driven to do this in an era where technology and resources are so abundant that we shouldn't feel a sense of scarcity. So all that person in the pool knows is to climb. Because it's probably all their parents knew, and their friends and everyone around them. So rather than running from pools for the rest of our lives, the scary and difficult thing to be done is trying to find common ground with the pool person. They don't deserve your sympathy, because all they did was attack you. But if you can reason with them to stop grabbing people in the pool and show them that you can both have fun swimming together, maybe they can do that for the person who grabbed them too. And then all three of you can begin asking the rest of the world why we feel the need to climb. I was actually just talking about this idea with my parents so I have a lot of thoughts lol
But it is still the fault of the individual for making his own life miserable. When someone else does something to us and we get hurt by it, we only feel this way because our false opinions have led us to believe we have been hurt, not because we have actually been hurt. The Stoics have it right when they say happiness is not found in externals. They are correct not only because externals cannot bring us happiness, but also because externals cannot take away our happiness (unless we allow them to). The pool metaphor is a bit misleading in that it suggests that another person can drag you under if they want to, but in real life, this can't be the case. Someone who wants to drag another under for fun is surely someone who has not learned to swim in the first place, so they would not be able to pull you under to begin with.
@@aaronleatherman883thank you for bringing up this astute observation. I have been wondering about this myself... Maybe the beat thing for the egoistic is to trip them up and deflate their balloon. Nobody has the right to tear someone's creation apart, but they will try to do it anyway.
The purpose in life is to find purpose. Introspectively think what gifts/talents you have and how you can use it. Or discover what it is you like and fight for it.
this comment resonates with me a lot. even when you’re just minding your own business trying to enjoy the few truly good things in life, sometimes there are just people who want to take it away from you. i frequently go on long outdoor walks and there’s been a few times where people in cars or younger people biking passed me feel the need to shout something at me. just for walking. on a paved path. another example being i saw a video of some guy (beautifully) playing piano. every single comment was making fun of his appearance. just little things like these make me sad, man. why can’t we just let eachother live. life is hard enough.
I'm so enthralled by this I'm nearly speechless. Just wow. 🙌 I was just talking to a friend of mine about something like this. And how so much of the drama that I'm experiencing is because I've been living a reactionary life. Whenever someone needs something I'm there. Well, this year I'm broken, literally (physically) and figuratively (mentally). I was forced to push others and extraneous things aside because *I* needed to find a way to handle the suffering I was experiencing. Re-framing my mind definitely came into my mind at my lowest moment. Now when the negative continues to come at me (because I'm not done yet, no "happy ending" any time soon) I just choose to look at it differently. And in doing so I've been rediscovering myself and the things I want out of life. Doing this makes the harder tasks and choices worth the effort. The timing, the way it all comes together and how it makes perfect sense in this video just set my heart on fire. 💪❤️🔥 Brilliant, Dr. K. Just brilliant. ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
I've been thinking about this lately. For the last few years I have been creating habit routines, following advice from neuroscience, morning routines... many rules about how I should lead my life. But the last few months, I saw that I was very unhappy despite following all the guidelines. My discipline had improved, but I had stopped being me. I no longer felt pleasure and I was always tired. It allowed me to achieve goals, but I didn't enjoy them. So it's hard for me to differentiate when I'm improving my quality of life or canceling myself out. I would love a video about this! Thank you so much for all your help.
One of the best videos i've seen from you imo Dr.k :D Learned so much and got so much clarity on what i'm personally struggling with and have been for some time now! Thank you
Not gaslighting. The majority of us spend the majority of our time (40+ hours plus basic life maintenance) doing shit we'd rather not do and the rest of that time doing nothing in particular. When this is pointed out to people the response is just "yeah, that's being an adult". Don't pretend like it isn't a shitty deal.
I've been searching for a video like this for almost a decade, one that perfectly encapsulates what I am feeling and want to happen in my life. Thank you so much, Dr. K, you just indirectly saved a life.
I understand that this video has a psychological view angle of the foramentioned problems, but I feel the advice here is too "american". I mean yeah, if you're Epictetus and you're a slave that is going to live and die as a slave with no chances of successful rebellion, I guess you turn inside and try to control your reactions. But let's not put all the blame on the individual and their reactions while society is getting out of control. One must try to improve one's resilience, but some healthy frustration and acknowledgement of a sick school and work system is vital, regardless whether there are certain individuals out there that are doing "perfectly fine with it". That proves that one could handle a bad system, not that the system is ok and that we should accept it as it is.
I'm pretty sure source of my suffering is capitalism/worrying if I'll end up homeless and or jobless, month after month, and not something lacking within myself/not doing what I want (I just want to have roof over my head man).
What if you've been so disconnected from yourself for so long that you really have no idea who you are anymore? I have minimal intersts. When I talk to people it always feels super forced and I dont have ANYTHING to talk about, im short on words and come across as an unlikeable person
I'm not an expert or anything but meditate, try to remember anything from when you were more connected with yourself. You gotta study yourself and build yourself up, find the things in life that resonate and pull you towards them, at least this is what I would do, I hope it helps.
I had a similar issue feeling disconnected from myself a few months ago - what helped me was thinking back on how I acted when I was very young, and for me specifically I used to daydream and design a lot, and I started weaving that into my life again and that helped. Obviously that is specific to me but maybe thinking “back to your roots” could help. I also try to stop “meta-thinking” now and that also helps - basically realizing when you are in overthinking/thought-loops. I have also been thinking a lot about your second point recently. Once I got a job that fit me appropriately I was surrounded by similar people and it became way easier - and virtually no conversations are about peoples interests. A lot of times it’s joking about stupid made-up situations, telling stories, arguing about something that all humans experience like foods/movies, etc.
I don't get it. Can someone help me understand what he means? What's the difference between cognitive reframing and just pretending everything is ok when it's not. How do I survive if I start neglecting my responsibilities to pursue things that make me feel good? How is this any different from hedonism? What if I've never felt anything like that genuine thing that I want to do that he's referring to? tldr; I don't get it what is he talking about?
Sadly most of these suggestions don't pay the bills or make debt go away. There really only seems to be one way out for some when they suck at life to the point where there's no hope.
I'd like to know the "normal " percentage of time that other people suffer. For me, it's 50～70%, with a constant humming of psychological pain in the background. 😮😮
I'd say 2-4% for me. Some of it is generational (Gen X got a lot of situational advantages, including good resilience training) Other factors include a great job (pediatric RN) that I NEVER dread going to. Add to the recipe a Buddhist(-ish) cognitive/emotional style, and things are manageable.
For me it used to be at some point 99% and honestly I couldn't handle it anymore. My body started to break down and I was constantly shaking and had a rapid heart beat even asleep. About 5 years later, 2 of them with meditation and therapy and then yoga and a bit of meditation and a lovely boyfriend, I'd say my suffering is about 10%, but it also depends on my cycle because hormones lol. It honestly felt like I'd be stuck forever in that state, I'm thankful it changed.
at my lowest it was 5 out of the 7 days of the week I considered worse than better. about 3 years later I'd say on average about 1 day a week is rough but sometimes it depends on the life situations at hand. in general my best day before is not even close to as good as even a neutral day now so
i think i’m suffering at least 10/14 days. there’s usually only a couple days in a month where i actually feel decent and life is relatively painless but that’s usually because i’m feeling hopeful for no fucking reason and ignoring everything wrong with my life. depends on how i feel when i wake up. i haven’t had a good day in forever though
100%. But it really depends on your understanding of suffering. There is always some discomfort going on as long as you are conscious. The rest is all about the intensity of it and your ability to focus or "look past" its presence. Tinnitus is a good example. It sometimes can't be heard over a conversation you're having with your friends, might as well not be there. But it is. You're just experience a lot if different things at the same time. This buries suffering and lessens its totality in your consciousness. Many people would also say that if you can bear the suffering it is not true suffering. For example an itch may be harder to endure than the pain of a light bruise so the latter may not be considered suffering by people simply because suffering sounds intense and that's a pain you can "leave be" and be fine with little to no strain on your daily activities and mental well being. So a full answer would be I suffer 100% of my conscious time alive, but I also mostly have good days and consider myself happy. It is the difference between a backpack you are carrying because you want to vs a boulder someone chained to your body. Perspective alone can make light work of the same amount of weight to carry (within reason).
14:48 This part and the patient example hit really hard. Even just today, I talked with my partner about how I have this voice within me that does nothing but cast doubt and that’s always its justification - “Because.” I swear, Dr. K…. Sometimes, it’s like you just know what it is I need to hear. Thank you for everything you do. I’ve been an avid YT user for over a decade and this may be the most valuable channel I’ve ever found. ❤
I wouldn’t even believe that I could be 18 because I didn’t feel like I wanted to face this moment in my life. But here I am and I’m still struggling with social anxiety which makes my life so hard to live.
was in your position two years ago, & my 20th birthday is in a few short weeks 🥰 life can get a lot better really fast. your relationship with yourself matters above all ❤️
I honestly can't remember being stressed in school even once in my life. I'm curious, what are you constantly stressed about? You just have to go there, write some tests and go back home and play video games or watch yt/netflix
Hi @Altheamaeve, what part of school is stressing you out the *MOST*? Is it socializing? Tests? homework? There are ways to work through each of these things, finding what stresses you the most can help you target the stressor and make it better
So I guess my boss throwing a running grinder at me and then me getting laid off indefinitely while he got to keep his job was just me sucking at work, me having 6 years in a field and my boss telling me the kid fresh out of school has more experience so that’s why he makes more is me just sucking at work, I guess me spending 1500 hours in a Coding boot camp in which I helped at least 9 others students pass the course in which they gave me praise like they learned more from me than the instructors(I had prior training) and most them working in the field by lying on their resumes and me not getting one interview along with my instructors telling me no one is going to like me because my code is too good and they won’t under it is just me sucking at programming , I guess my rent getting raised from 800 to 3000 that led me to be homeless and when confronting my property manager about her laughing at me , asking me how the weather is outside , then telling me she was going to go home to sleep in her nice comfy bed, that was my fault for not forcing employers to pay me more, I guess me taking over all the duties of my supervisors to never get the wage was me sucking at work
In Germany we actually have a class in school called "values and norms", which you can take instead of religious classes. It's for learning about teachings from all religions and spiritual and philosophical schools of thought and how those teachings manifest in different societies, but also about how different schools of thought try to find meaning in life.
Hi, I really like your content but I recently noticed that many of the videos have clickbaity negative titles like this one saying You suck at living life, Things seem impossible etc. I really dislike this direction, especially when I'm feeling better thanks to my hard work, I don't like seeing videos from a content creator I considered safe saying to my subconscious that I suck. Please reconsider
I think you need to rewatch this video because what he talks about in terms of spirituality litterally applies to your reaction here. Are you goong to allow a title on a youtube video to dicate wether you feel safe or not? Thats not Dr. k being unsafe, that you not looking within yourself and making a reasonable observation.
Let me tell you why life sucks, life sucks because life isn't "Life" we have made up the word life to ease our souls at believing that we are experiencing something magical and what not, when reality we are all here against our own will serving a species that is much bigger than ourselves involuntarily prone to certain behaviors that comes along with being a part of this species, so technically this is a prison that we are all trapped inside of until the moment we die that we are a part of no matter if we like it or not, it is a prison, we are not here to have fun at all, being alive / existing is strictly just a business. Then you die, and you are replaced at least 2 million more unfortunate souls that are spontaneously brought into this universe against their own will, production of more slaves from the procreation of human beings. Like I said, we are not here to have FUN. Then at the end of the day, all the blood sweat and tears that you put into this world don't matter because you die, you disappear in the blink of an eye, and not a single person will flinch or even miss you slightly because humans brains are programmed to not care when another person dies so the cycle just keeps going on, you can always move to the next person if this person dies or move to that person if that person dies. We all look at each other like numbers, instead of living breathingthings and we are all living in this world all alone with ourselves trapped inside our bodies, experiencing our own pain while others just look at one another from a third person perspective and can only anticipate what that person is going through but not ever knowing what they're ever going through from looking at life from their lens, we are always only trapped in our own perception and perspective in this universe, never really knowing how anyone else ever sees the world. Life begins once you're dead.
life sucks because the societal and economic system we live in is all about profit, growth, competition and progress. we are nurtured since birth to compete with one another to be better at school, college, university and then career. since most people are born average, most wont achieve their life’s dreams despite how hard they work for it. as population increases, competition becomes more fierce, thus leading to more struggles for limited resources and opportunities. by now, u should realise that the system is broken when the average joe simply cant live a decent happy life.
“Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they’re yours.” It’s actually easy to talk yourself into a state of victimhood. And even easier to justify staying there. Often not fun,though.
Does this doctor ever stop to question WHY it is that so many, a rapidly increasing proportion, the majority of the population, are feeling depressed, have to be on SSRI's or other drugs to cope, are suicidal, or "need to see someone" in the first place?? Or is his answer simply that everyone just sucks and the people themselves are the problem? Just tell everyone they're inadequate or "suck", so what, you can sell them your coaching program? Really guy? This is your idea of "helping" people? It has nothing to do with the environment whatsoever then. The rampant pornography, the soullessness of our corporate-manufactured subversive, poisonous anti-human "culture", the total absence of regular meaningful social gathering, social media alienating more and more people and onset of younger and younger people feeling suicidal from online bullying, the needing to work 2--3 jobs to stay afloat.. the utter meaninglessness of our daily labor, none of this plays a role? The system is perfect, and we've all just suddenly become inadequate.. got it. I guess we should just care about money and status more than we do, so that we can "win" through materialism & ego-inflation instead. You know, PROVE we don't "suck" or whatever by getting more superficial social status, right? Who cares about real meaning, right? Life is about POWER baby. Just stop sucking right? That we are simply 'spoiled' , the modern world causing us to lack a 'drive to survive' is a scapegoat. Worrying about survival and then attaining it is not what gives life meaning. We're all surviving. But we're not living. Life is about enjoying being alive, enjoying your environment, enjoying your company, enjoying your work, and if not enjoying work, at least outside of work having a rewarding spiritual refuge in other meaning-providing things like feeling a part of a community, regular socializing, feeling that you're understood, that you 'belong' to something other than yourself and your ego. Having meaningful experiences, which means having more in your life than money in your bank account and being 'driven' to attain more money, material, social status, etc. It literally has nothing to do with work. In fact, people with WORSE working conditions/pay etc STILL had more meaning, hope, in the past compared to people today, precisely BECAUSE their actual sources of happiness/meaning (family, community, etc) remained intact. Their basic human spiritual needs were still being met, unlike in today's world. People in the past weren't spiritually better off than modern people because they were so focused on 'surviving'/working. They were better off spiritually because their work, whatever the nature of it, was always accompanied by other sources of REAL MEANING in life, a FAMILY, a sense of community BELONGING, general upholding of respect for men and people generally. People felt that, all in all, despite working a hard job etc, America was ascending, families were forming, women still acted like women and didn't resent men but supported them, men formed strong bonds with each other and had real stakes in their community, and defended their standard, took ownership over their communities, defended their standards of right and wrong instead of just silently standing by, tacitly affirming whatever new poisonous social 'theory' they were commanded to, taking a number.. There was a real sense of ownership, an upholding of life standards and morals, that societies NEED in order to survive and for correct standards to be put in place to allow people to actually live, to be afforded a true freedom and human dignity so that new vibrant culture and vitality that lives in all of us can be realized. These are all systemic things that go beyond telling individuals to simply make more money or "just work harder'. It has nothing to do with money, status, etc. But your philosophy is to say, despite all of this being intentionally wiped away, no matter how intolerable it is objectively getting, our suffering, financial, spiritual, or whatever, is always a problem that originates with US, never the environment. It doesn't matter how utterly insane and poisonous things get, we should all just totally forfeit any say in this process, as stakeholders, participants in our world and in what we believe is right or deserved as a standard that respect human dignity, we should forfeit all stake in what our society turns into, tie our own hands, shut up and tolerate everything and anything, work-wise or otherwise, let all morals and meaning, our basic human dignity and right to some minimal enjoyment of our lives, let our nation and governance slowly slip into sterile corporate feudalism, let all Good be sucked out of the world by evil monied forces.. and if despair and suicide rates go up to 99%, so be it.. because WE just need to be better at tolerating it somehow, THAT's the real answer. I say no. We DO deserve better. “The pandemic of mental anguish that afflicts our time cannot be properly understood, or healed, if viewed as a private problem suffered by damaged individuals.”
What if the thing I really want to do is something lame af and doesn't pay well, like gardening or something? Also, those who are genuinely into engeeniring, programming, being a doctor and other useful stuff have it so much easy. My collage experience is kinda excriciating. Like I probably gonna keeeeel myself by the time I turn 25. I'm getting more and more certain of it. Everything in life is such a goddamn chore, and I'm all alone in this shit. Like fyk it.
Fuck it, do what you love and get the low pay anyways? Doing what you love is so important I believe. I do music recording and I get zero dollars for that but I love it. I play an instrument zero dollars. But I am a massage therapist and make good money when I work and I have low overhead which gives me the time to do what I love
I really resonated with this. Everyday just tends to suck for me with absolutely no reason and I keep blaming (outright despise) myself for it, knowing I'm the problem.
Tbh though, lot of factors aren't actually our fault, like the economy or covid, or the fact other people are so closed off that even if we try to socialize and get out there so few want to reciprocate
You're a fish measuring yourself on your ability to ride a bike (metaphorically speaking). It's not easy, but you need to carve out a life for yourself that fits you better. Studying mental health and psychology in a more formal way is the best start I can offer, because it will help you understand not only why you are you, but also why others are the way they are. Additionally, if you haven't yet, ssris tend to be great for most people experiencing negative thoughts in the short term. The current hypothesis is the boost in serotonin triggers more brain pathway development which helps people learn to manage their situation better. A lot of people don't even need to take it for very long, and taking it for too long can cause depression if you're just going through a depressive episode. But those with long term conditions respond well to it long term. So, consider talking to your primary care physician about SSRIs simply because it might help you get another perspective and might help you craft a life that has meaning even in the middle of all of this.
spirituality and "happiness from inside" my ass. i know what i need and im in despair because i cant get it. that's the source of my suffering. you cant just approach people who are starving for example and are in pain because of it and crave food and tell them "its not about the food, you dont really need the food, search for happiness from within, enjoy your current situation". and psychological needs are as important, except with psychological needs you can cope for some time and they wont kill you outright. but you cant cope forever and it will destroy your mental health in the long run.
The point is that happiness is subjective. People have basic needs, which form the basis of mental health (check out Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs for perspective), and those should be the first things to address. External events affect our needs the most. Some of the events we have no control over, but we can learn to control how we react to those external events. I'm not talking about having an overly optimistic attitude, but realistic expectations and learning to be merciful to yourself. You are both you and the person who drives you.
We're all thrown in the pool, early on. If you take the ladder away in The Sims, what happens? That is why it all doesn't matter. Sometimes you're just fucked. "Reframe" it all you want, drowning is still drowning.
Because most of the people are dishonest and dishonesty had bacame the norm. You feel like outsider in that fake interactions between people, you feel like you are anti-social, but in reality you're just a honest person swimming in the sea of dishonesty and fakeness. The life just lacks of simplicity of everything.
Two pieces of advice I give to people who hate their job is, write a CV and take whatever training you need to get a job you'd prefer, and while you're in the job that sucks, make a plan forward and save up what you can, so you can fund the life you prefer. That way, you're working for yourself, your goals, not just for the sake of someone else and paying rent stuck in a loop. Plan your way out of the loop and make your moves with patience. And the rest is yes, reconnect with your inner child, apply creativity to make boring things fun. Learn to enjoy the silence, be grateful for the little you have, and make moves forward. And never say "I can't", say "I've not yet learned to", then learn to. And maybe brighten some people's day on the way.
Doesn't apply to me as I am very content with where I am. But I think that is very solid and practical advice for people suffering in a job or situation that can't be changed on a whim. Sooo...just wanted to let you know that your comment is appreciated I guess. :D Have a nice week!
That is very generic advice and and won't work for most people, if you want to make it in a saturated high competitive market like music or filmmaking for example even if you work extremely hard a big percentage is down to dumb luck, I have seen extremely hard core working actors who are much better than most famous actors but never got a lucky break for example.
@@silotx this advice is for people not already doing this, its basically the only advice so its really good advice. It might not work 100% of the time but it WILL make you happier, give your life more of a purpose and theres litterally nothing else you can do.
I'm from India , but in India people are forget there routes of spirituality of India gurus and Yogi , they are going to the western culture drinking and smoking , forget there spiritual routes , and they don't know that western culture right is know going is spiritual and this types of thing and India's most of people thinks like smoking and drinking is cool and spirituality this is just for old age people , They just forget that in India Ancient time in gurukul teaches every young child about spirituality, They just forget that thing and there routes.
Your videos should be shown in classrooms. It's so nonsensical that we learn how to deal with the outside world, when we don't even know how to deal with ourselves.
For the last two days, I've been out in the woods and put bread in my hand and had birds in the forest coming to eat out of my hand and it's that mini moment of joy that makes life better. You have to find the little things that spark some joy and gratitude...big time...every day just remind yourself of what you have and the present.
This. Exactly this. I would have thought that today was absolute shite if not for a few small moments that I enjoyed deeply and thoroughly: I went for a walk (used Pokémon Go as an excuse/goal) and almost every second spend outside was a second enjoying the fresh and cooler air, the misty sky and all the little things that come with autumn. I felt truly alive and incredibly happy. Even though I did "nothing". I just went for a walk... but it has made my day 🤗 Same as a small phone call with a cousin this evening; I was feeling like shit and as though life wasn't worth living (going through a fair bit & relationship just ended, so I'm a bit more miserable than usual😅) ... but one small phone call later and I feel like I'm not alone, like there is plenty for me to live for. It's the little things - connecting to yourself and spending time with people you love and who love you back. I hope you are doing well 💚
This video helped me out a lot today. Completely changed my mood at work. Hopefully it continues to have the same impact. I will definitely be sharing this video and watch it a few more times.
Yep, I totally hate this rat race and would love to be able to do something I actually love. I am in student debt and I feel like I signed my soul away for a life that I didn't really want. I HAVE to do this career now, because I will drown in debt if I don't make it. I don't think I will ever be able to meditate that pressure away. I don't even want the money and the big house, hell I don't even know if I want kids. I am working my ass off for a life that isn't even really mine, but I chose it and now I can't go back financially. It fucking sucks sometimes. I thought I could do my own life "on the side", turns out I don't have time for that, I will waste my life away working a job that I don't like to get enough money to one day be free from debt.
Also this makes it sound like I am super ungrateful about my life which I'm not, I am aware of the fact that even though I am in debt I have a higher living standards than most people on the planet and I never have to worry about having food to eat or not having a place to sleep in safety. I am thankful for that.
Im disappointed that this video teaches us very little about the actual techniques to reduce suffering, besides buzz words such as "cognitive reframing" and "look inside yourself". 😮😅
Yeah Yogic advice is notoriously frustrating like this. The spiritual approach Dr. K is proposing requires a bit of contemplation and personal reflection, the "technique" is really up to you bc no one can tell you how to live but spiritualists like to give general guidelines
I didn't resonate with this at all. I feel like I know how to live life, how to enjoy the small things etc. It's that I lack the ability to get myself into these situations. Anytime I move two steps forward it feels like my adhd brain pulls me two steps back. It's so frustrating that for some time I just stop trying until I somewhat recover and try again only for something to go wrong again and I end up retrating. For the past few years I didn't have a single real friend, just sucks.
I have ADHD, but the advice in this video resonated with me. (I mean, I agree with it, I kinda already knew all this). What makes you feel like this is disanalagous or unhelpful for your situation?
now, if only there was a place we could learn how to do life, a place where all new people to life could learn together, wouldnt that be something. a place where you arent expected to already know. only place i went to they told me about how they were definitely the good guys and if u dont believe thats a spanking
What if the reason I suck at life is because I still can’t survive in this changed world? because I can’t get nor maintain a job to make a living for myself? I am alway steps away from the threats of starvation and homelessness This isn’t something spirituality can fix. In fact, spirituality can come naturally if the threat of survival is gone. What do I do in such a case, Dr. K?
Yeah thats one thing he will never acknowledge. He will beat around the bush and blame anything BUT the economy. Its all "mental health" but its like well hello? Its hard to survive in this economy no wonder. Its not us thats broken. Its the world. Most of our problems would be solved if we all had a fair shot at life.
@user-gt7vi9jm9m I am neurodivergent (so I want to do my own work and not deal with people with hidden social cues and etc.), and even if I somehow do get a job, that very neurodivergence is used against me by coworkers and bosses. I eventually end up leaving because I can no longer stand being victim of workplace abuse, and being surrounded by people who don't even try to understand
As an atheist, I like to think of things like souls and spirits as a metaphor for human well being and self-perception. Not something that has an actual supernatural existence, but something that greatly influences our state of mind. The usage of the word "spirituality" to refer to practicing self-care and stuff like that perfectly fits this metaphor.
Key points: Life sucks if you just do what you're told or expected to, because kinda teachs you to ignore what you feel or want. You should do things that you want*, or do it for something that you really want. Try to think a way in which it could work out**, or else it will always be a non stoping "do x, THEN you will be happy". Improving at something also feels good. Best coping skill: cognitive reframing (change your point of view; your emotional reaction to something; its emotional meaning)>>numb youself playing videogames. Spirituality is the field of being happy. Differs from understanding our behavior or our biology. Tool: look within yourself*** ----- Personal opinion: *Maybe a hobby could work? **Don't go blindly... ***It relates to other videos about shutting down social media (designed to toxically capture your attention and numb you, literally, even benefits of making you lose track of time) and be by yourself so you reflect and become senstitive to your emotions and inner drives that modern life has numbed.
But say, if you have emotional numbness and you cant feel joy nore sadness, how can you even think about feeling something good within yourself when everything is flat ?
(Apr 19, 2024) 1:40 3:05 Hunter gathers dont have to worry about grades or mortgages5:40 Obesity causes more deaths than starvation6:10 Psychology= external behavior of humans Personal Psychology= how to find motivation in ur life Spirituality ≠ religion 8:30
there's always hope, do something you've never done thus far like praying or meditation. The key is to turn your struggles into a challenge you seek to overcome
16:25 Stop talking about me specifically. Dang, I've been called out. Like, I know I shouldn't do long sessions, but then I do it anyway and regret it. :P
10/10, no notes :) Dr K for the win! I work at communing with myself through learning and culture (Music can be a transcendental experience for me, for example)
Our society has chosen a shame based reward system, when the reward system should be self actualization instead. Everyday we work toward the reward of knowing who we actually are.
The real source of way we suffering things when we never know about until the end was: School education system! #1 Never change in more then a century! #2 not only they destroy creativity they also teach you negatively #3 it makes humanity holding a crown of dangerous of all #4 it makes you to go on the same path' where victims subject to suffer in life! #5 it makes other countries suffering in downfall development similar on "Philippines" Last: don't work hardery Be smart!
Plzzzzz plz pretty plz, please, stop saying “bayzik”. Think of the word base, with no z sound on the end. Try saying base. Then try pronouncing the word basic. I know this is a small thing but it’s become like nails on a chalkboard to me and I can’t listen to these anymore and there’s so many I want to watch. It’s SO much in every video. Please, if you can correct this I truly appreciate it. Thank you.
Funny how NO OTHER living creature needs to be "taught" how to live life, only humans need such formal hand-holding. Every other living thing either observes the adults do what they do and emulate it, or they know it instinctively... But humans? nah we gotta be told/shown/taught "how to live life". There's something fundamentally wrong about that whole thing. Life should not have more struggles than the fundamentally basic challenges of not eating anything toxic or deadly, avoiding being taken down by predators or other creatures that would kill us for sport, or doing anything stupid that gets us killed. That's more than enough to navigate, but no, leave it to the arrogant human race to invent layers and layers and layers of additional suffering in the form of : - "earning" a living - "succeeding" - "achieving goals" If life is a "gift" then why must we "earn" a living? When is the last time you got a gift that you had to earn? Or a gift that came with the obligation of ongoing sustained maintenance? Any "gift" that comes with such unsolicited obligation and commitment is not a gift ; it's a burden.
I feel like my life suck from the beginning when i was born a disability and speak problems that cannot be fixed. I feel depression and have no purpose life. It grow up in life. I rarely have friends even through i try. They rejected me. My siblings same thing never understood me. Both are girl by the ways. I am always the black sheep in the family. Of course as adults. I rarely have friends or a girlfriend. Sometime just look at someone they label me a creepy. I don't really care about society. They can go to hell. Even though, i started studying the bible this past few years it help me alot. A good anime about having a suck life is welcome to nhk The guy have depressed and severe social withdrawal symptoms. Some people don't like the end. The end is realistic based . you can go to fix yourself in a few days or week . It might take year of therapy. This anime help if i feel like life is over for me.
