Young Divorce - My Story 

When a partner cheats once, there's a good chance she/he will cheat again.

I married at 21 got divorced at 23. Two confusing years. From she loves me to shes cheating on me all over the place. Divorce at a young age can mess you up emotionally and make it very hard to trust again.

Be blessed that she left you before kids and you're 45 years old. She will be divorced soon enough again

She was cheating mate. I just know by the little you have said.

Red Flag #1: friend zone; Red Flag #2: she's dating two guys simultaneously while you're relegated to the friend zone: Red Flag #3: you let your little head out think your big head. Red Flag #4: she finally starts paying attention to you, which means her other two boyfriends moved on, but, no problem, because she had you on the back burner as a stand-by. Sorry to hear your story, but it's as old as time.

The fact that she had 2 bfs at the same time, tells you what her true character is, and how doomed your marriage was b4 it even happened.

God, you sound like the perfect man, trying to make a marriage last in the best way you know how. Beautiful representation on how a marriage should be handled.

Thank you for this video. I was divorced last year after 5 1/2 years. Online dating is also new to me, but I feel like the biggest issue I have is I'm terrified of getting into a new relationship that will end up being wrong for me again. It's so hard to carry this emotional baggage and let go of trust issues. It feels that if I make myself vulnerable again, I'll just end up hurt again. I feel your pain.

thank you so much for sharing your experience! I'm 23 years old, married for 2 years now.. and at this point of my life by relationship its soo broken.. no trust, no respect, emotional violence, lack of comunication and so on.. your experience has giving me courage to confront this situation because I didnt want to accept whats going on. I have no kids, but still its hard to move on when you are not in a healthy relationship that's become such a big weight on my shoulders. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

This makes me scared to get married. I can tell that you were doing the best you can to be a good husband. Someone is going to be happy to have you as a husband one day.

Great video! Thanks for sharing. I know it's so difficult to go through, but it's so good that it happened when it did. Imagine if it happened 5-10 years later, when you had kids. It would be so much more painful

I appreciate the fact that you came on such a public platform and shared your vulnerabilities! Recently divorced with two kiddos and my ex is in a different state. Love the information. Thank you

Thank you for sharing this. I will share with my 29 yo son whose wife left just before their 5-yr anniversary. And they knew each before that for 5 years. She didn't feel romanticized (=expensive dinners and weekend getaways), just best friends who got married young. Ugh! They hadn't been going to church, my son is on a great career path, training quickly for leadership, supporting her through some freelance and serving at a nice restaurant, then off to finish her Bachelor's degree in Business. So life was busy, and in the way of what was most important (Love & Respect). Her parents always did things together, dating, trips, dinners, and spoiled the 2 daughters. She filed for divorce and full alimony, and moved back home. Her parents love my son, and said No, but relented to be there and care for her mom whose cancer was taking her over. She just passed, and at the last minute, we were all invited to the memorial because we loved them all still. In her eulogy, she said her mom taught her how to cook, how to be a good wife and mother. Thank God, they did not yet have children. It's all so sad, and with no blessing breaking up a marriage without seeking Godly counsel, my son's heart is so broken. I'm afraid he'll look elsewhere too soon. Thank you for the advice, and we are praying for you!

i am trying not to totally trash your ex wife.. i'll just say two things 1. be glad you didn't have kids with her 2. don't do online dating.. DONT DATE AT ALL.. can't you see your ex wife didn't deserve you? trust me a lot of these women don't deserve you, take it from me, i am kinda like you in that i'm Christian also and i have a master's degree and a peaceful life- WHEN I AM ALONE... when i add women into the mix out goes the peace and i'm SURE you can relate to what i'm saying....... here's what you do- ask the Lord for a wife, and He will bring her- read the story of isaac and rebekah in genesis.. DO NOT DATE ONLINE.. JUST PRAY AND ASK THE LORD TO BRING YOU THE WIFE HE HAS FOR YOU AT HIS TIMING.. LEAVE EVERYTHING IN THE LORD'S HANDS HE WILL SPEAK TO YOU IF YOU KEEP SEEKING HIM.. DO NOT CAST YOUR PEARLS TO SWINE, DONT WASTE TIME ON CRAZY, UNGRATEFUL, CHEATING WOMEN

Im going through the same thing. My husband is in the military, and he has done nothing to work on our marriage these past 5-6 months or so. I need to move on, I've already spent 4 years being loyal to him and he just wants to give up. It sucks, but thank you for making this video!

Thank you for uploading this video. It must have been really really hard but you did it. Forgiveness truly is important to move forward from a divorce. Im happy and hopeful after hearing your story that i can overcome this too. Praise God! The healing process is crucial, currently going through it. Stay positive and i hope the Lord brings you a wonderful person in your life.

I feel you brother man. I am going through a very similar situation, I was cheated on a lot, it hurts, the sting sits with you for awhile. I can only take it day by day moving forward and I try to stay inspired for hopes in the future.

Great inspiring video. I been married for 16 years...there are alot of struggles but we both work it out...it takes two. You tried very hard...Good Luck.

Thank you for sharing. I know you posted this a while back but this is exactly what I'm going thru except he's the one who sprung the divorce a few nights ago when I thought we were going to fight. Seven years of marriage and he's gone. Absolutely devastated

I like what you said about forgiveness giving you freedom to move on. I've experienced that in my life too - forgiveness doesn't mean I condone the other person's actions, but that I can accept what happened, and let it go. Simple, but not easy. So worth it,though.

I went through that exact situation 9 years ago. It was the hardest time of my life. I was going to church and really seeking understanding and never got the closur I needed. The guy I was married to checked out after he went fishing in Alaska for an entire summer. He came home and started going to college he was 19 and I was 21 when he started college and he met a girl in one of his classes. He said he had to go study with a group of guys but I found out he was going alone with this girl to "study" and it happened about once a week. He completely denied being unfaithful but wanted a divorce and I was willing to fight for our relationship. He didn't want to work in things and I actually asked him again if it was that girl in his class and he said "if you accuse me of cheating it's only going to make me want to cheat" so that broke my heart and created distrust. His family wasn't helping and said they told him he was too young to be married... I was broken for a couple years after that and ended up in terrible relationships with guys who didn't treat me with respect and I lowered my standards. I finally realized I needed to trust the Lord that He had the man of my dreams out in the world and I would someday meet him. I went from depressed to being filled with Gods presence and I felt so hopeful. I literally met my husband who I have been married to for 6 years the very next month of just trusting God. We now have 3 kids ages 1, 4 and 5 and I feel that the divorce taught me how to be a great wife and mother. I fully appreciate my husband and I am so happy now. You will have that someday if you put all of your trust in God. Thank you for sharing your story. Sometimes the closure you need is to just let go and let God. God is what I have for my closure and that is all I need. 🙌🏻

I wish there was someone who would fight for a relationship like you did. This shows what a good man you are. You deserve so much better and I hope you'll get your deserved happiness ❤

Great video buddy. I went through the same thing (we look the same age and got married and divorced the same way). I am glad to hear how you handled it. Getting professional help was the right and smart thing to do. I handled my divorce in the worst way. Good job. Where do you live? I am in Victoria, BC.

Thank you for this, so inspired went through this last year. The one good thing is that it showed me what I don't want in a partner, I feel smarter/wiser and know what to look for going forward. I wanted to live my best life and the relationship I was in wasn't apart of that. I never looked back. Feeling great!

So sorry you had to go through this. I got into a serious relationship at 16 (I had started college and was much further ahead than my peers) and just like you had red flags that I overlooked. That relationship developed into the most toxic and abusive relationship ever! After 2 1/2 years God finally brought him out of my life and I’ve been dedicated to him since! It’s crazy how God will use our life situations to teach us. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing!

Hey man. Thanks for the video. Our stories are VERY similar it's crazy. I'm 30 years old and going through this and have the same feelings you do. Thanks for the encouragement and hope in Jesus during this tough time.

Wow! Thank you for posting this I went through literally the exact same thing and even to the point of replaying all of it over and over. I’m glad you emphasized the point of counsel. I need to reach out to someone. It’s been one whole year and I’m still feeling the fears of what is next. What are tips on finding counseling?

Thank you so much for your very articulate testimony. It is good to hear a man’s version of divorce - I think it is rare but important just the same. Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. Divorce is so painful -as painful or more painful than death itself. Your video is encouraging and gives me hope for the future.

Yes this video affected me, its helping to get my mind untangled during this difficult time.

I'm so sorry you were put through that. And did not deserve it. I'm going through almost the exact situation. So thank you for sharing your story. It helped to know there are other people with similar situations.

That sucks man, you're brave and helping a lot of people by sharing your story.

Thanks for putting yourself out there. Its good to see this from a guys perspective. Life is super hard and when your in a bad relationship things can be very tricky. I have been married for 7 years now and honestly it has been the hardest 7 years of my life. I have been in a battle with myself and cant manage to just leave. Love is truly blind.

Thanks for posting your story. Sometimes I wonder if all relationships end because of the man pulling away (I know that's not really true). I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. Hopefully you have found peace and happiness since then.

Your story is so similar to mine. I am going through a divorce right now and I’m 26. I am feeling everything you described in the video. Thank you for sharing your experience, I am trying to do everything I can to make the best out of this painful situation. God is good, and even when it doesn’t seem like it he is working for our good. I pray that our experiences become part of our testimony that God is close to the broken hearted and that we were able to grow and learn from our trials. Hope you are doing even better now in your journey of healing.

I am really proud of your healthy mindset! It’s not one many people maintain after a divorce. I hope you find the woman you are looking for.

Thank you. I'm 23 and been divorced for under a year. I can relate to you so much. I hope this gets better.

You seem like a kind and caring person. You are still young and you will find your person. Thank you for sharing your story. All the best to you.

This is so beautiful and I sincerely pray you meet the right person for you. Someone that will love and honor you. You seem like a really nice guy and thanks for sharing!

Thank you for your testimony! 🙏🏼 The pain is very much real

The biggest problem was "we met in high school". Never get into a relationship let alone married before the age of 25.

I will just leave you with a quote from one of my favorite sci-fi films: "She loves what you do for her. As it is my customers love what I do for them....but she does not love YOU, David. She cannot love YOU." -A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001) Granted it's about an inanimate object in the story, but the principle reigns true still in the modern hypergamous dating world. Women love men for resources and a utility, similar to an inanimate object if you think about it.

My ex of 7 years and I went through the same thing 3 years ago. He too is still with the girl I saw him growing close too. I tell everyone as long as he's happy that's all I want to see even if it means she gave him something that I tried so hard to give him. Thank you for sharing your story it's great to see that you went through necessary steps to better yourself

Guys am not American or from the West but your stories really help thank you opening up and sharing real life situations. I'm really grateful and I am sure u will do great in it life. We are strong one bump wouldn't put a man down.

This is a great vlog, i am not a young person but from experience I suggest you were lucky, as I see your in a "better place" you should take time out save some money and go travelling, travelling will give you a new outlook in life . Good luck

your story feels similar to mine except the other way around. thanks for this. im going through this terrible time now. but it helps to know im not alone.

Wish the best for you bro.. You're a really good dude and I know that any high quality woman would be lucky to have you

As Sandman said "she wants the wedding, not the marriage." As for your ex-wife, she simply money branched to a guy with more resources and money, and if she meets another guy with more resources than him, she'll money branch to him ... till she hits the wall.

Thanks bro. I know the pain. Feels good to hear your story. Divorce blows and love is evil. Im just gonna focus on myself and my kids. Forget about getting laid. Im over that. Thanks again. Hope all is welk for you

you were a good husband trying to work out your relationship but yeah no matter how hard you try if the other partner isn't interested, its all over. looks like she checked out of the relationship a long time ago and made her decision. I haven't been married but i learnt the lesson of reciprocating is needed in any relationship and it also applies to friendships. If you are constantly putting in more effort than the other party then its not a healthy relationship and you need to end it.

Thanks for this video. I was married for three years and I fought tirelessly to save my marriage. He didn't feel the same. It's often very isolating to be young and a divorcée so it's nice to see I'm not alone.

It's weird how similar our stories are because going through it you feel so alone and like you're the only one. But basically things were great, we fell in love right after highschool, he was a gentleman and wooed me right away. Different then any other guys at that age. I was beyond happy, you think you found the one and you fell in love with your bestfriend. Until a couple years in, he got a new job and met new coworkers. He loved his job but he also became more distant and wouldn't open about anything anymore. He started taking a lot more overtime, going out a lot more, and with time he just started pulling away from our relationship. When that happened I started going through every possibility and you start to fix things about yourself that maybe you have fought about in the past or you know they don't like. I was just trying to make things better but he was already checked out which at the time I didn't realize. It was hard for me to understand how I was still so in love and kept trying to make it work with him but he didn't want to try anymore. Nothing I was doing was working. One day he just ended things said he needed to work things out on his own. I didn't see or hear from him for a week, he blocked my number because he didn't want to talk about things. It was weird I was still in denial like we can work this out, I never wanted to give up on our relationship. After a very hard week, I sent an email in hopes he would read it saying just give me an explanation, talk to me. I'm a person who has to talk about what I'm thinking or feeling or I will just bottle it all up inside. When we did sit down to talk about things I mainly did all the talking and said things I've improved on and still was willing to and how much I loved him he was just quite and said he no longer wanted to work on our relationship. He was done. And wanted out. He didn't have an explanation or anything else to say. So that was that. I still to this day don't know why or what happened... maybe he missed that feeling of being single and free like the rest of his coworkers, I don't know. At the time I was so hurt. The way things ended I just didn't see it coming and I was devastated because I would have never went about it the way he did. Especially after years and you respect and care about someone. It's been a couple months now, he's apologized for ending things the way he did so I forgave him because I didn't have it in me anymore to hold that anger against him. You just feel so defeated. I recently started therapy because I wasn't in a good place just felt sad and lonely and I had all these thoughts and emotions that I couldn't let out to anyone so therapy has really helped. I tried dating but I'm not at the point yet. It's scary to put yourself out there when you thought you found the one and you got shut down with no closure or explanation as to why things ended. You feel like you're not good enough and it's hard. So I'm just going to continue to work on myself for now and keep improving until I'm ready for that next person. Thanks for sharing your story, really helped!

Thank God you weren't traumatize by what happened, because it seems that you are the better person and that must not been the person for you. The positive things you shared speak volume of your character. So don't take yourself for granted a person like you only deserves the best that God has to give. Therefore be cautious of who you open your life to. For your life seem to consist of things that spoken about in heavenly places, and if that's what your life is about, then you need someone as you are and not the other way. PEACE

I’m sure she will never find someone as devoted as you. At least you know you tried everything. A marriage takes two, and it doesn’t sound like she honored her vows. Best of luck to you going forward!!

Your efforts to work things out are very admirable. In a relationship you should discuss issues you're having and make a genuine attempt to resolve them before ending things (unless it's abusive, of course). She has constant "back burner" guys and then jumps ship when there are problems or she decides she likes them better. I hope you find someone who matches your emotional maturity (and be aware of red flags this time lol).

You seem like a really great guy. You did everything you could to make the relationship work. If only there were more people like you!

I really needed a man's perspective on it, and thanks for sharing ♥️

This is one of my greatest fears.

I really like the way you affirm that you use the word sketchy at 6:40, it resounded of true confidence!

So brave and sending you hugs for your experience! I never got married in my lifetime cuz I think it kind of freaks me out or I grew up in a bad environment from it I never got married in my lifetime cuz I think it kind of freaks me out or I grew up in the bed environment from it But I think you're doing such a great job! don't forget another avenue to meet people is to join groups with similar hobbies, or maybe watch pick up a new school like playing guitar something and you can meet people and network beyond where you work or were you going to school which limits you finding people who are alike you. Big higs

very courageous of you. It is very good for a man to have close male friends(a band of brothers) with whom you can share issues. It can save you a breakdown. When men get married, they tend to throw away other relationships, always have like four wise guys to walk life with, one of them will know what is going when you seem to be lost.

People can be terrible! I’ve also gone through this more than once (minus kids/marriage) and I’m so thankful God closed those doors because through them I realized my worth & not settling. I am now so much happier single & focusing on myself. The important thing to realize is your worth and I know it’s so tempting to jump at any chance to find love (been there) and force it because everyone else is getting married but I can almost guarantee most of them probably aren’t happy either and will end up in divorce. Don’t ever force anything, period.

I can relate with your situation. Your gut more times than not is correct. You can't put a square peg in a round hole. You made yourself better for you rather than for her. Good for you brother. Keep pushing!!!!

Dude trust me she was cheating and she justified it in her head by making you seem not enough. She lied to your face and she can keep secrets.

Hi! Watching this I relate so much! I'm currently separated from my husband. It's just my son and I. I find it therapeutic to make RU-vid vids together here in NY! I like your channel, I just subbed! xxx

The best way I've heard to get closure is to write out a few letters. 1. a rant and rave letter with all the raw feelings, accusations etc. Don't hold back. 2. Burn it. 3. Write a forgiveness letter from the other person. As if they were apologizing and taking responsibility for some of what went wrong. 4. Repeat if necessary. I find this process very useful. You can do it in your own time, it's independent of the other party, and it doesn't lead to more pain of engaging and blaming others. Your psyche doesn't seem to care if the other person is writing to you or not, it just wants recognition of pain and an apology. Best of luck, take care of your self!

Dude, this is my current life right now almost identical. Sucks but glad I came across this.

You are definitely a catch. Handsome, well spoken, reflective, committed. You will definitely find a good woman when the time is right. Thanks for sharing!

Thank you. I am going through a divorce right now and its been very hard for me to accept that I need to move on with my life. I am 25 was married for 3 years, at this point I have tried everything but he is simply not interested in saving the marriage.

whoever loves the least in a relationship holds all the power in that relationship.

Bro I been there !Married at 21 divorced at 23 .the solution I found most essential was to live on your own ,learn you,build you,love you then you’ll be equipped to give !much love peace!

This sounds a lot like my situation. My ex husband is a covert narcissist. Wondering if your ex wife may be one too. Learning this about my situation really helped me heal, and work on areas in my own life (like why I attracted someone like this). Thank you for putting yourself out there. I know it will be a blessing to someone. God Bless.

incredible guy, incredible story. I would love to have him as a friend

Thank you for sharing your story. My husband left me earlier this year. Stay in Christ and don't be misled by the world. You did the right thing in trying to make things work.

You just had real feelings for her and she maybe didn’t or they didn’t last. You’re a young guy, smart, handsome.. Focus on yourself, put her on the background as much as possible. It’s hard to move on, people like her never give you closure, been there bro 🤛

November 17, 2016 my world was obliterated when a process server showed up at my job to serve me the petition for divorce that my husband filed. We have been having chronic arguments for a long time. In June we started attending a Christian-based group therapy for married couples. For 7 years he said to me that he would never leave. He said marriage was forever and his commitment to me was for the rest of his life. November 12th was the last day I ever heard the words "I love you" from my husband. Five days later, the petition for divorce was served and 3 weeks later he moved out of our home. I never envisioned myself as a single mother. We have a 5 year old together and now we are forced to develop a new "normal". To say that I am in pain would be an understatement. All the hopes and dreams I had for our family is gone. He is gone. And through it all, I must find the strength to keep moving forward and teach our daughter that life really does go on, and that it is possible to have a great life despite the circumstances. I will have to feign strength until it actually comes. I will have to remain solid as a rock for her sake, and deal with my pain and my tears in secret. God give me strength please to not break.😔

Everybody gets their heart broken. It's tough but it wakes us up from the dream of life. Marriage is our attempt to make ourselves feel secure in a relationship that we cannot predict because we are always changing ourselves. It can also highlight the love we need to have for ourselves, instead of looking outside ourselves.When you forgive someone, you thank them for what they taught you and you can let them go once you understand the lesson that we are Love.

My husband just walked out after 22 years together. This just sucks 🤯 I'm glad you escaped her.

Once a cheater always a cheater. There are always exceptions, but that is a good rule of thumb. Also in my opinion, if you haven't been through tough times together, you're not ready to get married. You need to see how your partner handles conflict, and know that they will stick with you until you work it out.

I was with a woman (not married but living together) and it certainly was not working out and she wanted us to go to counselling. I said that I could not see the point as the problem was her temper and that I did not want to continue with it. So therefore if one party does not want to go to counselling I think it shows that there is no hope although the one that does want to go needs to find out why the other person wants to split up.

God Bless you brother! You are going to be fine keep pushing🙏🙏🙏👍

I know this video is 4 years old and I assume you've come wayyyy further along in your journey since this video. I had a similar situation to you but we wasn't married. A 7 year relationship and he became withdrawn and shut off from me. We split nearly a year ago and this week I asked for closure. To be fair to him, he gave me some really honest talks and I appreciate that. He's so different from the man I fell in love with and this has helped so much with moving forward. You're a very good looking and well rounded guy...anyone would be lucky to have you!

Online dating is great, honestly as much as people hate on it, you just need to be selective with your time and the people you meet. If they ghost you, move on and delete their number. And I agree, it's hard to meet people through mutual friends nowadays.

Thank you for this. Going through this.. feeling hopeless..

Hah, all of the commenters blaming women for every divorce need to wake up. This almost exact scenario happened to me, only I'm a woman, and he was a man. He had this wonderful idea of marriage, and when wasn't easy, and didn't immediately offer automatic, fairy-tale happiness, he abandoned me. I did everything I could to fix it, he just didn't want to. I don't hate men or blame society for "expecting me to get married".

thank you! I needed this .

the affair started as soon as she went silent

You were a great husband to try and fix the relationship, my ex husband wanted nothing to do with counciling, he did the same thing to me. Her loss truly! Your wife will never stop trying ❤

Thanks for sharing brother. All the best going forward.

Dear brother in Christ It is very sad to know that you went through this, from a female Christian perspective I would say that the woman sounds like she was not a Christian person to begin with, I cannot imagine someone who has a personal relationship with Christ and really loving him, having 2 boyfriends and being completely fine with this

I live in the USA , I found it easier and refreshing , moving to another state .No running away from things, but to focus on my life . I wanted a warm place,where I could enjoy the things ,I liked to do ,including the outdoors, and start with some entrepreneurial ,so I chose to move and restart in the state of Florida,for that reason. If you are young ,it is easier to restart .

Eye opening we need more of these

To the guy she met "what she will do with you, she will do TO you". God has someone else meant for you. You married someone who was meant for a season in your life. My son is 28. Dating ideas, church, biking, parks, grocery stores, gyms, traveling, the beach, through your friends, etc. You have a lot to offer. I am sorry you had your heart broke. I was 21 and my husband was 22 when we married. 30 yrs later 4 grown kids, 2 grandkids. Good mention that you bought too expensive of a house, we lived in a shack..lol. It was not always easy, life happens, physical emotional and financial stress. Great video, well spoken and explained. (sadly, the pretty girls want a bad boy, we are always saying this to our son, not to be bad, but to be more of a challenge.) which is sad that we still have to play games to find love.

going back into the dating scene again sucks.; and yes after coming out of something like tis , you might not be ready to date again ,takes a lot of emotional strain .I suggest focus on yourself,you were doing that even within the relationship, and if the rest comes,it comes ,in the meantime take the time to focus on yourself ,will help you with the healing .

It’s an unfortunate situation. I know personally, and it’s common that people after marriage either grow towards each other or grow apart. I always recommend people getting married after 30, 35 if you can wait longer. I’ve been in separation limbo for 4-5 years and it’s torture! I’m 33 and maybe want kids but I can’t even think about it! This sucks.

It’s her loss and you will find that right person for you. Good luck and stay the way you are..

I got divorce 8 years ago... she was secretly engaged with other guy while being married and she got married within 2 months after divorce.. till today I stayed single..!

I was like you at some point wondering what I could do better as a husband. Everything made sense once I discovered MGTOW. It was painful to make the generalizations about women at first, but it's the only framework that explains the never-ending entitlement attitude I battle in my home.

You've got me thinking about if there's a way to alter the marriage process and ceremony so that it better prepares couples for the rest of their lives.

@onetakeav I can’t figure out a way to send a PM abut I can relate SO much! I’ve literally had someone type those same words about moving on to me and I remember how much that hurt. I’m also about to start going to DivorceCare! I hope that things are continuing to look up for you.

Best thing to happen to you. Enjoy your youth and money. I'm 55, trust me, married at 35, best thing I ever did. I'm ready to settle, she is at her peak market value now downhill for her so she's ready, I got money, had my fun, got my toys, and set in my ways. Still young to have and enjoy kids and young enough when they are gone to still do stuff. Perfect.