I sent the 'apology/ best of luck to you' letter weeks after he left (and spent a week in CR with HIS ex GF!) Not sure that went well because he responded to my letter when he returned by telling me by text that he liked my letter and saying to let him know if I wanted to talk. That's happening tomorrow and at this point with him having run to his ex, not sure if I want the skank back. I've met a couple of nice men since his little blow up, and maybe, just maybe the grass IS greener on the other side. But I'll have a nice Convo and, you never know.
Clay you should start doing some very inexpensive target marketing ads. You literally give the best advice yet these other channels seem to be in feeds everywhere. You are formulating the future of intelligent dating advice. Thank you. Set up a tip jar and I’d tip you.
My ex is fearful avoidant. His fears caused him to monkey branch. His rebound situation is probably complex as it involves family. He is extremely concerned what they think. Unfortunately, I don't think he will take a chance on coming back. I will probably not be willing to enter the relationship unless he goes into therapy. That probably will not happen.
Of course they think that your goal is to only get back together! This in my opinion is actually a good sign because it mirrors their own thoughts. Perhaps they know they don’t have the control to be around you and not think of you as a partner in a relationship. So they avoid you. This reflects lack of control on their own part. The concept of just ‘connecting’ is so transparent and this is why many people do not become friends again with their ex’s until they are both in other relationships. It seems unlikely that your ex would consider your approach as anything else. Nobody wants to ‘connect’ unless they are strong in their separation from you.🤔 the concept is based on their on weakness, so they avoid you.
I would be very surprised if that’s not a factor in why my ex is avoiding me. A few weeks after we broke up I was in town for a week to visit my mom (I had been living 1,000 miles away for a temporary work project) and when I landed I asked her if she would wanna hang out sometime that week and she told me “I really wanna see you this week but I know that if we hang out it’ll be amazing and I’ll love it, and I’ll just brush everything aside and jump right back in”
It’s been 6 months, Clay. We were together for 15 months, lived together for 10 months. He hasn’t reached out to me the entire 6 months, however when I would reach out to him he responded sometimes, not all the time. He started dating from an online dating app a month after our breakup. He’s still on there and he’s still dating. I made a lot of mistakes post the breakup, stalking, accusing, pleading, begging. I just went into NC again three weeks ago after three attempts prior that I failed. Should I consider it a lost cause at this point? His family doesn’t like me anymore, btw. I have a feeling he’s getting a lot of pull back from them. What are your thoughts? I would really appreciate your advice or anyone who’s reading this. Thank you. 🙏
Hi Clay. I dont know if I can ever get my ex back, even though we both have strong feelings. She is now taking a 2 week break from me, and hopefully she figures out how she feels towards me.
Omg! That first point . Exactly! He told me this. Like, he was ready to talk and listen to me cry or be emotional and all.. But then he said, you just want to get back together that's all. You just want the relationship. 😭 And there were a lot of hurtful things he said after that like i never go back to my excess, you are my past, you are the only person that can make me angry and i don't even want you in my life.. 🥺 he could've said it in all that anger.. But yeah.. it made me literally feel like just giving up.. And that all hope is lost he will never want me back even if i change or something... What should i do
@@starfaith721 hey, sorry for that. Im kinda in similar situation. Coaches are saying hold on and help them to come back. Well i feel very alone on the road. I feel for you. Hope u guys already came together, best luck!
I understand how you feel. I’ve experienced something similar to this before. I know you probably don’t want to hear this but the best thing for you at this point would be to use this time to focus on yourself. I know it’s not gonna be easy. It took me 5 months to fully get over my ex to the point where I could care less if he got back with me or not. Do yourself a favor and work on being the best version of yourself that you can be. He gave up on the relationship and that is not a reflection on you. You are not perfect, no one is. Work on bettering yourself and the right person will always find you. Who knows, maybe the next time he sees you and you’re doing well, he’ll be wishing he didn’t leave; but then it would be too late 😉
Clay last time we spoke, you mentioned to do a fresh start letter but it is not my first reach out to my long distance ex in fact my second but it is only surface level topic where I shared about a topic that I believe would interest him. he did not reply this time. been 3 weeks no reply. should I attempt an accountability letter this third time? please help me clay
Clay,how long is too long to give an ex their space and time? When the ex was the one who asked for the space and time. How do you know after the no contact phase is it safe to reach out to the ex?
The one ? Is it a real concept?.. and if it is sometimes breakups or rejections can happen between people who should be together . I don't know right now