How You Unknowingly Make Your Ex Pull Away

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Watch out! Clay Andrews talks about How You Unknowingly Make Your Ex Pull Away
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More often than not, people who BADLY want their ex back ends up pushing their exes further away. Grand gestures, big walls of text telling them how much you want them back, begging and pleading - a lot of us have been here but a lot of us would agree that these things didn't really help in getting back together with your ex.
Want to avoid this? WATCH THIS VIDEO!
Dating coach, Clay Andrews discusses in-depth the things that you might be doing that is making them pull away even further from you instead of helping you get your ex back. He also explains why they are thinking as such and what you can do about it.
**** IMPORTANT ****
This is an internet video, and it should be obvious, but this video and other videos on this channel should not be taken as a substitute for the evaluation of a psychologist, therapist, counselor, etc. This video and other videos on this channel are intended for informational uses only, and only reflect the personal opinions of the creator. The creator of this video is not responsible for your actions or choices or the consequences of your actions or choices.

Опубликовано:

7 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 70

@snaakie 2 месяца назад

Man your point at 9:36 is so true, this is 100% what I did wrong in my relationship. Not intentional, but I think deep down I did want to prove myself instead of having fun together. She even "warned me" about this. And it sucks to truly listen to/learn these things after the breaking up

@MeowMeow-sy2mi 3 года назад

This whole list is why I went no contact. I'm not in a place where I can hold back these things in convo so I needed to put the boundary up for myself. I was over analyzing every thing like him being nice. But I think he started seeing me as a friend because I've stayed in contact. So I'm taking space until he reaches out or until I'm ready. I gave myself a minimum of 3 weeks. Every time I find myself obsessing over what he's doing or thinking, I've decided I'll do one housework chore or work on a hobby for 1-2 hours. The elastic band thing doesn't work for me. It's not distracting enough.

@travis6694 3 года назад

I didn’t want her to responsible for my own emotions but for her to taking responsibility for her own mistakes.

@sourjyadeepsircar2874 3 года назад

They don't do that here in this perfect world. Bruh... I feel you ..Run for your life, away from these kind of person who doesn't want to own their own mistakes instead they will label it "complaining". Fuck connection.... Get your needs met from someone else and find one who treats you right this time.

@barbersmurff2592 3 года назад

You hit the nail on the head Clay with why and how my ex and I broke up. One thing that was important that I did was take ownership for my part in the break up especially seeing as how there were warnings. By not dismissing my ex’s feelings and understanding her aside of things has helped

@ClayAndrews 3 года назад

Those are great points, Barber. I like how you acknowledged her feelings and showing more understanding. :-) All the best on your journey.

@williamcaldwell2836 3 года назад

He is the best when it comes to recovery relationship❤.....

@williamcaldwell2836 3 года назад

M e s s a g e h I m n o w V i a W h a t s A p p

@williamcaldwell2836 3 года назад

+2 3 4 8 1 5 3 3 2 5 3 4 4

@travis6694 3 года назад

This is something I wanted to do this my ex, to have these conversations about where things went wrong. She would only do it over text unfortunately. But if someone isn’t ready to communicate properly then you can’t force that.

@williamcaldwell2836 3 года назад

He is the best when it comes to recovery relationship❤...

@williamcaldwell2836 3 года назад

M e s s a g e h I m n o w V i a W h a t s A p p❤..

@williamcaldwell2836 3 года назад

+2 3 4 8 1 5 3 3 2 5 3 4 4...

@Giovanni-01 3 года назад

We started talking a couple weeks ago, she did respond positively, when I reached out. I'm defo enjoying our convos lately, but I feel like she's doing the typical girl thing, long space's between responses lol. I kinda get why , but each time she's pulled away,I've given her space. Nothing wrong with pacing your tbf, so I'm just hoping things to continue as it is.

@travis6694 3 года назад

If she is pulling away and taking long to respond, then she might just be comfortable talking to you but isn’t looking for a relationship again.

@christinemcwaters5186 3 года назад

Saying that getting an ex to change their mind needs to be done delicately. Due to the law of consistency. My spouse would say I'm responsible for his happiness and if he wasn't happy it was because I was not doing something right. It's helpful to hear you say it's not. Looking at reconnecting as if it should be treated like a new relationship. Hearing mindsets make it easier to encompass the idea. The "way of being" is always a helpful thing to remember. Helps keeping the bigger picture in mind so the smaller things fall in place. I signed up for/applied for the group.

@Bucky1836 3 года назад

You are not responsible for his happiness, that is his own responsibility, im learning alot goin thru therapy about co dependency 🧐

@rosequartz1889 Год назад

Yes. Totally made him responsible for my emotions. 😢

@yeoitscori3618 3 года назад

Of all coaches on youtube, you are the only one who has said that there's still a chance AS LONG AS YOU DON'T GIVE UP. you give me hope. none of them said that but said that if they are resistant to everything, it is time to give up. I am not willing to do that. ever. I am interested in coaching but can you assess my situation it's a long distance breakup during a pandemic. I gave him 1 year of no contact ..... I focus on my mental health, be happy, show on social media although he doesn't use any.went into no contact after he had the last say. I only broke no contact once this New Years and he only replied in kindness, wishing me all the best. what do I do at this point since it has been 2 months ago after breaking no contact. no reply....

@williamcaldwell2836 3 года назад

He is the best when it comes to recovery relationship❤.....

@williamcaldwell2836 3 года назад

M e s s a g e h I m n o w V i a W h a t s A p p❤...

@mayasuliman2825 3 года назад

But what’s the difference between emotionally responsible vs being in love with that person?

@InResponseOutreach 10 месяцев назад

This is tne only coach tjats worked unfortunately i got drunk with him and begged him to be with me and i hope i didmt do too much damnage

@fernandogonzalezmartinez83 3 года назад

Great content but honestly I think there are pretty obvious to me. Can you make some sneeke Ones please? I would like it a lot!

@travis6694 3 года назад

It may be obvious but most people still fall under this category without even realizing it.

@dnpaker84 3 года назад

My ex got a new boyfriend after 5 months 😢 So I don’t think she comes back no time soon.. 😭😭😭

@ClayAndrews 3 года назад

I'm sorry to hear about that. I hope that you are holding on well.

@spiroguru 3 года назад

you never know bro..sometime they always comeback

@dnpaker84 3 года назад

@@spiroguru Right

@dnpaker84 3 года назад

@@ruthsonia8330 Hell no! Never need but want..

@benhartart9487 3 года назад

Rebounds generally fail by 3-6 months so she could be back

@LaRueDuConsommateur 2 года назад

When children are involved, it'll be a catastrophy

@kernalmasta 3 года назад

Hey Clay or chat, assuming the first one was the issue - too little too late - what can you do to show that you mean business with making changes? Just give it time and work on myself and hopefully she sees?

@ClayAndrews 3 года назад

HI Nick, if you are serious about making changes, do it because you deserve to change as a person and not just for your ex. Authentic changes will eventually show naturally on how we bring ourselves in the different situations.

@ouhshesari 3 года назад

me and my ex have been hanging out and texting but he pulled away again this is the second time. how many times can this happen?😭

@ClayAndrews 3 года назад

Hi Ari, there are no limits for positive pullbacks. It can happen as many times as it can be. It's how we would manage these pullbacks will matter the most.

@ouhshesari 3 года назад

@@ClayAndrews oh okay thank you i will try my best to deal with this the best way possible. love your advise and wisdom :)

@manishachandran563 3 года назад

Hey clay, my boyfriend is in rebound and whenever I text him he talks about that new girl, after talking atleast once in chat to me, then he seems to be bit more receptive for other questions.I have that him that I just want to be friends with him and don't have any intentions. But when he says that he spends time with her, or vacationing with her etc.. it hurts me! What can I do for tis?

@ClayAndrews 3 года назад

Hi Manisha, if we are hurting, it may reflect on the level of acceptance that we have in the situation. Maybe healing is something that you may look further into. By the way, I noticed that you are one of our ESP members, You may post your questions inside the member's only page. :-)

@manishachandran563 3 года назад

@@ClayAndrews Hey clay! Sure! Yea am one of the ESP members. Hoping to catch up with you in live inside the group ☺️ Thanks for ur reply btw :)

@williamcaldwell2836 3 года назад

He is the best when it comes to recovery relationship

@williamcaldwell2836 3 года назад

M e s s a g e h I m n o w V i a W h a t s A p p

@williamcaldwell2836 3 года назад

+2 3 4 8 1 5 3 3 2 5 3 4 4

@gemmahoang1162 3 года назад

I'm thinking of the relationship stage . Like thinking of good times is that okay?

@ClayAndrews 3 года назад

That's totally fine. :-)

@AngeloVloggs 3 года назад

It’s my birthday today can I get a happy birthday?? :)

@ClayAndrews 3 года назад

Happy birthday. I hope you are having a great day and more blessings to you. :-)

@AngeloVloggs 3 года назад

@@ClayAndrews My ex wished me a happy birthday and i replied with thank you, i broke no contact assuming she was gonna keep a conversation going but she never replied or even opened it. a week and a half ago she texted me saying she saw me in public, then i joked around with her and i ended the conversation after she left me on delivered for about 17 hours, at that point i thought she was plaing games with me im confused

@sandiedwards9655 3 года назад

I’ve made all of these mistakes and now I’m worried. We are doing 7 wks of no contact at his request so he could do a therapy series. It ends in 12 days. What’s the best suggestion for contact after that? We have had minimal contact during the 7 wks. So, it’s not been a complete separation. I miss him so much. I want that emotional connection again. He’s reserved because of an emotional affair a few months ago and has some animosity towards me for some things I didn’t do in the past. I’ve resolved those issues and continuing with my changes. So, how do I approach him? Or do I wait for him to contact me? He’s the one that wanted the separation.

@ClayAndrews 3 года назад

There could be a lot of things that may happen until the 12th. Try to practice present moment awareness and keep yourself in check by the 12th. To assess if you are emotionally ready to reach out or not.

@sandiedwards9655 3 года назад

@@ClayAndrews Thank you. I still get upset when I think of him too much because I really miss him. We have never been apart this long. I didn’t want the separation. I truly just want him home again but don’t know how to do that. He has/had a lot of resentment (for my not having a job and being a student at the time) and guilt (because he had an emotional affair instead of talking to me about things). I know he’s dealing with a lot. I have forgiven on my side. I just want to move forward and grow.

@williamcaldwell2836 3 года назад

He is the best when it comes to recovery relationship❤...

@williamcaldwell2836 3 года назад

M e s s a g e h I m n o w V i a W h a t s A p p❤..

@williamcaldwell2836 3 года назад

+2 3 4 8 1 5 3 3 2 5 3 4 4...

@DKTrag12 3 года назад

So I need a little help here. Me and my EX have been apart for over a year now and she just found out that I’m on a dating app and got all upset and mad about it to another friend of ours but is seeing someone Wtf does this mean?

@ClayAndrews 3 года назад

Hi Tyler, it's hard to tell or really read your ex's feelings. At the end of the day, she is the only person who holds the truth. This is just an assumption thought , and this may be right or wrong. It could be that she may still have feelings for you, even just in a little way and had not fully moved on after the breakup. Again, this is just an assumption but if you are in contact with her, it is best to have the conversation with her.

@williamcaldwell2836 3 года назад

He is the best when it comes to recovery relationship❤...

@williamcaldwell2836 3 года назад

M e s s a g e h I m n o w V i a W h a t s A p p❤....

@williamcaldwell2836 3 года назад

+2 3 4 8 1 5 3 3 2 5 3 4 4....

@jennyjen3985 3 года назад

Can you please accept my request for the Facebook group.

@ClayAndrews 3 года назад

HI Jenny, we will approve all requests once we have reached 250 people or more joining the group. :-)

@jennyjen3985 3 года назад

@@ClayAndrews thank you clay.

@rs9sug753 3 года назад

clay she told me to never contact her again after my accountability letter. help me pls I'm 19 i haven't got any money just give me one tip pls

@QuinnLIFTS 3 года назад

My advice is to never contact her again. Cuz doing so tells her that u don't respect her request and it also makes u look desperate. And if she was ever gonna want to come back again then she would obviously contact u. So I wouldn't block her. If u ever feel like u are about to break no contact and reach out to her, grab a pen and paper and write out what ur feeling. I wouldn't watch her social media or anything cuz it's just gonna fuck with ur head. I'm not suggesting waiting around forever but if u care about her then give it some time, respect that she doesn't currently want to talk. Cuz women don't respond well to feeling like they are bein controlled, and if u kept contacting her u could def send the wrong messages. It sucks, but respecting what they ask is the best way. If ur lookin for the best way, then u gotta be strong and do it. If she loves u then she will eventually contact u. If it doesn't work out then someone else will get to enjoy ur new and improved self. Stay busy and get better in the mean time. Good luck!

@ClayAndrews 3 года назад

It is best to respect your ex wishes for space for now instead for pushing your agenda. In that way, you both are focusing on processing each other's healing process.

@rs9sug753 3 года назад

@@ClayAndrews thanks clay. I’ve been removed just trying to get over her it’s so hard as you know but my mind just thinks about her 24/7

@rs9sug753 3 года назад

@@QuinnLIFTS thank you so much. I appreciate it a lot