Hi, I'm Audrey! I'm a therapist based in Toronto, Canada! Welcome to my channel where discuss tools for improving our work lives, relationships, and overall mental health.
Please note that my channel is for educational purposes only and it is not a substitute for therapy nor does it establish a client-clinician relationship. For support that is specific for your unique case, please seek help directly from a licensed and registered therapist in your jurisdiction.
Thank you for joining me here and I hope my content can bring you some insight, comfort, and peace of mind 💗
Don’t quit. Save up for 6 months. Take a Personal leave of absence. Do what you need to do to figure your stuff out. It’s extremely hard to start a business or find another job. Take a LOA first so at least you still have something to fall back on (if your current job allows this of course)
I recently quit my job as well. I spent around 10 hours working and 5 hours commuting to my workplace to do a job that could be done in a normal shift working from home. I did it for 6 months and my health deteriorated to the point that I was taking medicines every single day to stay awake and work. I had my wake-up call a week back and I had to decide to just let go of this opportunity and do something of my own. I was burnt out and I am still recovering physically and mentally. But I know that things will get better now that I know my worth and my goals. 😃
Thank you so so so much for sharing that you got some of these questions from your therapist!!! It sounds like you have such a good one, and I am so happy for you for having that support and clarity from a professional! I also really appreciate you saying that got some really good questions/prompts from your therapist because something I’ve been talking about with my manager is that I cannot afford professional help to aid in the my work stress (despite being one of the highest performers in the office and doing everything to manage the work stress)- these questions really benefitted me considering my situation, and I appreciate them so much. 💕 Thank you and thank your therapist! 🙏🏻
Generation-laZy . I remember in my day we had to work our way up and even spend years doing jobs we did not like before being promoted to mid-senior-manager level positions. This generation is entitled, mentally weak, and unprepared for 9-5 work hours.
Hi Yaminaah! The steps and their respective examples apply for disorganized attachment style as well! Though that is a good point that I could have made it more obvious that they also apply for disorganized attachment. Thank you for the feedback! It's much appreciated :)
If you have alternative income such as RU-vid and living at your parents home or being supported by a partner, then quitting a job is not so much of a drama ! Stop milking your viewers
I just quit my job... and i don't really know what i am gonna do.. but i feel free... i know it is not gonna be easy.. but i am ready for my new adventure... the only thing i am sure about is: whatever will happen, i am gonna learn something new and valuable!
Thanks Audrey❤this is really inspiring me and giving me clues that i am in a toxic workplace right now. I feel relieved after watching your video cause it’s obvious that unsupportive mentor is sign of red flag😢 it’s not only my problem😔and actually there are so many factors mentioned in your video just click me😢 thank you for the video❤
It is so frustrating to me to see the comments on instagram about avoidant attachers. it's so unfair how they paint people with anxious attachment as victims and those who are avoidant as the victimizers. it's so false. I've always been avoidant in my relationships and my partners have been anxious attachers and THEY were abusive to me. their (insatiable) desperation for closeness led them to behave in really toxic ways, and a lot of anxious attachers trample over boundaries to try and get their needs met. it's not good guy/bad guy, there are toxic and unhealthy anxious attachers and unhealthy avoidants. there are avoidants who are doing their best and working on their stuff and have good intentions and there are the same for those who are anxious. people need to stop projecting their hurt onto innocent people.
YES! Thank you! I am avoidant and got cheated on more than once because they "didn't feel loved enough". Have major betrayal trauma ever since and dropped out of college for a year.
I heard somewhere that you can have different attachments to different people in your life. I am not sure that's true, but that being said, yes, I think you can tell someone is rather one or the other, maybe a mix of some, and not pathologize them. Sometimes, it's good to know what's bad for you, and anything other than secure will make you aware something is wrong (a secure can fck sth up too, sure, everyone does).
this is a great point! It certainly is true that different people can bring out different facets of our attachment style. It's important to be aware of how someone's treatment impacts you and how you feel in the relationship regardless of their attachment style. Thank you for sharing your perspective! 😊
Ah, this video felt so hopeful and reassuring. I gave in my resignation last month and I have last 2 weeks ahead of me in this job. So watching this with having already made my choice while I'm thinking about all my possibilities in the future felt like a hug i needed today ☺️
After 40 years of observation I am very tired of Asian American angst. They are all too often consumed by subjective issues too complicated to deal with. To avoid these issues it's best to avoid Asian-Americans.
A therapist once said I have anxious attachment style, because I do call my bf out when he starts to act distant and cold. I don't do it because I am scared he is leaving me, I do it because I hate it that he changed his personality amd became super selfish. I am noy afraid of losing my partner, in fact, I try to end the relationships when I notice we are not compatible. Does it really count as anxious style?
Hey Audrey, really nice video ! I was wondering if I could help you with Best Quality Editing in your videos better than your Editor with good pricing and also make a highly engaging Thumbnail which will help your videos to reach to a wider audience ? Pls let me know what do you think ?
Girl , thank you!! I tried breaking up with my boyfriend a month ago and it felt so wrong because I obviously made all the mistakes you mentioned 😂 He got me around to staying... I'll try again following this guide 😂
HI Audrey, I just left a toxic job. Boss would disparage me and insult me and say I was not good enough to pursue my career goals. It destroyed my confidence. It took a long time to leave. I wish I had left sooner. I would love it if you could comment with some advice and tips on how to build my confidence back. Thank you.
I'm sorry to hear you had such a negative experience with an unsupportive boss. I've been there myself and I know how it can hurt your confidence 🫠 Two things helped me a lot. One, knowing that this is just one person's perspective of you and it's not an objective reflection of you as a person. Two, having positive experience with colleagues who do believe in me and think highly of me helped rebuild my belief in myself. I hope this helps!
So true, burnout is destructive so I am giving up, taking an easier role, relaxing, getting into what I like. BS job was pointless, watching my colleagues resign, feeling crap at work.
Thanks for the video! I took the quiz and got an almost even mixture of the attachment styles. In learning again about the styles I didn't quite feel like I fit neatly in any category so the results of the quiz weren't surprising. The whole reason I'm even looking into this is because I got ghosted by an avoidant man that I'd been talking with for a couple of months 😅 I've been spending a good amount of time trying to understand because not having a concrete answer caused me a fair deal of grief last week. He mentioned being scared of relationships/feeling emotions, confessed to kinda having feelings for me/saying I scared him, and right before things took a last turn he mentioned lapsing on his meds for MDD. He said he goes into a hole and communication slowly petered out. I'm trying to be empathetic and understanding while at the same time recognizing that disappearing is not something I can tolerate in any kind of relationship. I tried to reestablish communication through texting and gave up. I've been ghosted before and it wasn't fun not knowing what happened. I let a few years go by before reaching out and asking why. I got my answer and the anxiety over it went away almost instantly. I told him thank you for telling me, wish you told me before ditching me, and I hope you have a nice life. Anyway, therapy is on Tuesday so I'll save the rest for then 🤣
Great question! In university, I studied attachment theory from a psychology lens so it was very theory-heavy. Once I graduated from my masters and became qualified as a therapist, I decided to specialize in attachment-based therapy and completed trainings to learn about the application of attachment theory to support individuals to have better relationships. On the side, I happen to enjoy Andrew Huberman podcasts and I stumbled upon one of his episodes where he packaged the neuroscience of attachment theory in a way that I had not come across in my trainings thus far and that I found very easy to understand, so I thought I'd share in the hopes it would help others understand as well. I hope this helps clarify things 😊
As a miner , I have very little energy on my days off to where I just don’t want to do anything and my hobbies just feels like a damn chore . This video helped a lot in figuring out what’s wrong with me . Thanks
Perhaps we’re all slaves of the system. I’m an admin assistant but I want to return to my home country, but the pay is too small there and I feel here is also not great for the current economy, I’m also looking for alternatives to the 9-5, mine is actually 8-5. It seems like they’re giving one person the job that should be assigned to 2 people 🧐
The burnout, depression, lack of motivation, etc. I am experiencing from my current job is the worst I’ve ever experienced. I am praying the Lord shows me a way out. This job is destroying my life.
For me, the biggest red flag I hit was negative feedback given badly. I am the type of person that takes feedback well, but I was constantly feeling that the PRs were them vs me rather than us vs the problem. I also asked for quantitative / clear ways to track improvement, and they gave me confusing excuses.
I had the same experience leading to me leaving my job. It was literally killing me - constant head and stomachaches, new autoimmune issues leading to emergency surgery, and had minor depression. Free for one month now, and I feel like a different person. Now I remember what makes me happy and I’m getting all the things that have been on my to-do list for ages done. I’m taking on a new role with a new company where I can see that the growth path is actually going somewhere I want to be. It doesn’t feed my ego as much as my old job, but I actually feel happy thinking about going to work there. Also - can I just say that you are so well spoken! You can really tell a story and make it engaging while still keeping things concise. Super easy to follow!
I'm sorry to hear that you had to go through that. I'm glad you're recovering well and in a more supportive work environment! And thank you so much for the positive feedback, that really means a lot 😊
I actually quit my toxic job last year and i started a RU-vid channel and though I have realized that it is hard to grow a channel there is no regrets for i know that one day that RU-vid channel will pay off
