Hi there! I share insights on "life stuff" with a pinch of comedy!
I try to bring some fun to discussions about self-development, relationships, and work-life, while still giving enough tips and advice for a life based on trusting your individuality!
Just leaving a comment on the duck purse. I would say that was actually a nice move on his part. He knows she likes fashion and paid attention enough to know that the women in his class currently all have novelty purses and he went out of his way to get her a nice one. Goodness these two are toxic. I think if Carrie was actually secure about herself there would be no games between these two.
Her attitude and entitlement stink. And then the change of tune when he decided to take her home (which was the right decision on his part) was cringe. Also, she didn't want him to come inside her apartment because he was a new person she was meeting for the first date - good decision. But getting in his car on the first date before knowing this man - bad idea. They should have agreed to meet at the restaurant instead.
Everybody makes mistakes - cheating on your bf/gf, etc. But you’re right Big’s behaviour was completely criminal - sexual assault- and that this could pass as ok in a supposedly romcom is disgusting.
I get what you mean, but I'm a bit against 'cheating is a mistake', i think it's a choice and an indicator of other problems that need to be addressed.. A part from that, 💯 there is a difference between sa and 'betrayal'.
So completely different genre, but I would love to hear your thoughts on the book The Other Boleyn Girl (not the movie). I’m sure you would have A LOT of things to say about these medieval ladies and their men, and I’d love to hear them 😂❤
From how you explained it - Ryle talking about the parents and the gun etc I took it to mean more his bad trait was wishing the parents suffering for making a mistake and taking pleasure from their suffering. Omg I'm at 43:09 and I already feel the pick me I'm special, from lily after his 'honesty' 😅
Mmm yeah kind of makes sense.. it read to me a bit 'non personal' and almost like showing his morals for the kids vs parents (which is tricky), while hers was how she 'benefited' from her moms hurt (not much room to see it good). Yeah the honesty will always get you🤣😅
It´s totally fine to split bills. It is okay to not split bills. It´s okay for both to "provide" and do chores. It´s okay for a couple to split up into one is providing and one is doing the unpaid labour. What is NOT okay is if one party expects both things. Like, a guy expecting the woman to work and pay bills on the one hand AND to do all the chores on the other. Or if a woman is expecting a guy to share all the chores AND to pay everything for her. It´s either or. It needs to be fair!
That vacation was much needed, you look great ❤ regarding your question about throwing chairs - damaging the property is an instant red flag to me, I've never seen someone smashing stuff to pieces and then not get violent with people. All in all it's destructive behavior and this spiral of violence will continue turning until everyone around is hurt.
So many red flags... And i feel relieved that in many cases also kind of an ick towards him 😅.. i think the age difference does make sense though, because when ee are younger we are so much more vulnerable to those types of flattery 'oh im Special ' shit 😅 I've not tead the book, id be curious to hear your comment on part 2😊
Exactly! I came to my sense when I was 30😅 The books that present this type of character as 'the one' though appeal to young girls and that's a problem (when it's romanticized rather critiqued)...
There is 2nd book after this called ‘it starts with us’. No spoilers but it is a disappointing read. Regarding the book you discussing, the journal regarding Atlas and their young love and heartbreak was an interesting contrast to her stark reality with Ryle. The scene on the rooftop would have me leaping off when he states to lily he only does ‘one night stands’ red flag 🚩!!!
Asking if there is more to analyse in the other books Hoover has written... You're walking close to the edge of a rabbithole here! 😅 Let's put it this way. All the other DreamBoys she's written are all like Ryle, sans specifically the physical abuse. As for s3xual abuse? She likes to toy with dubious consent, sometimes so severe that it goes into the territory of non-consent. One scene was so noncon that the backlash had her edit it after the fact (it was already published, so there are copies out there of the original scene) and it wasn't even that much of an improvement iirc. Hoover is so hit for Ryle that she keeps writing him into her stories over and over, with different names and backstories. They're all nuts. The most unfortunate part of it all is that the meta-narrative is on the DreamBoy's side. The main character always forgives them in the end, or worse, is covinced she's the one in the wrong and apologises to HIM. The inner voice of the main girlie is also very harsh on other women, even when they've not done anything particularly wrong. So it doesn't give the most... feminist impression of the author. 😬
That's the thing. I've heard so much about how these books suck because of these narratives, and honestly - also this one had me rolling my eyes a couple of times - but then again.. it would be for a good critique🤣 Also.. it almost feels a bit like a responsibility, knowing how popular she is amongst young girls, so we should maube talk more about the traps that we easily fall for, because 'romance'... Thank you for your comment🤗✨️
I haven’t watched yet but I’m so happy you posted, missed you girl 😭 I watch your videos before work (part of my morning routine) and I had finished your others so perfect timing :.)
Well this is a surprise...🤣 I honestly thought people are not interested at all, because the videos were underperforming🤭 But I guess there is interest.. I'll try to finish it in one last video so we get closure😌
A complete stranger demanding MORE vulnerability from you in the very beginning is a giant red flag, healthy people understand it's reasonable to have boundaries and take time to know someone
There are ALWAYS signs...As someone who grew up in an abusive household, I know that women who witness domestic abuse in their primary home are brought up to think that this kind of a relationship pattern is normal and more often than not end up in similar situations.This is why therapy is super important with kids growing up with abusive parents.And I also speak from personal experience, as I ended up having a psychologically abusive and manipulative relationship with my first boyfriend, after which I went to therapy...Also, one of the first signs of manipulative and abusive partners is the fact that they most commonly appear in one's life when the person is at his/her lowest points in life, after major loss or when their self-esteem is rocked...They take major advantage of this, a person's vulnerable spots...And this is based on literally the first 3 sentences you said about the plot of the book/movie.I assume it only gets worse from then on....
Wow the men in these comments and red pill men for that matter care way too much about women 😅 stop trying to understand us, stop trying to 'work the system' to 'get' one. stop trying to "play the game", just live your lives dudes, just... exist! do things, hobbies, make money, have friends, just don't even think about women or relationships. They'll just upset you - stop making your life and your worth about women.
the story of love at first sight or infatuation at first sight has been told many times in greek mythology. Notice that those stories rarely end with "and they lived happily ever after".
If everything goes well, today a new video (otherwise tomorrow 100%)🍿😁 After vacation I got sick, so took a bit longer to get back to filming..😒 Thank you for your support!🤗
Final thoughts from me - they should have broken up before they ever got married. When someone loves you despite disliking so many things about your core values and beliefs, that just can't work out. I'm still not sure what they loved about each other outside of looks. I guess it's the illusion of each other, how compatible they could be if the other just cut out a huge chunk of what makes them them. Just sad that so many probably were influenced by this. The idea that too many differences in opinion and values is fixable if you just dont talk about it or hide your dissatisfaction is so damaging. Hiding parts of yourself from your closest person is not something to aspire to! The shocking absent father, barely even asked about his daughter, is i hope, an element of the time only. Though i will say i have the notion in my head that 'men' don't really care about their kids or want to raise them and would do as little as possible given the chance. Thats my own damage to work through 🙈 In relation to carrie and big, she sooo thought she was a katie, and maybe she was but didn't learn the lesson that they just weren't compatible enough in the first place 🙈 totally missed the point i think.
I dont really understand how deep they're acting this is. They're just incompatible, she likes his looks and some aspects of him, he apparently likes a part of her too, not sure what 🤷🏼♀️ bolshiness? Either way, they just aren't compatible, its not that deep! If no one is willing to budge in any way to feel better at all, why would that be a good relationship? But also, if you can only be together if you both change completely for each other, that's awful! It's just 2 people who fundamentally don't mesh. Why does she even want him? I cant tell 😂 Oh yikes marriage, a baby, no no very bad. They should never have gone this far!
so many people love to give his character 0 nuance and take him so much at face value/his word and also many tend to forget or ignore how weird and downright unsettling he was when he and carrie got back together. as much as big sucks to her, i never worried he was going physically hurt or kill her… but when Aiden came back with his short hair, new attitude, etc….. he really had a dark anger to him …. he showed himself to be very physically violent and threatening at times. Big was just an asshole emotionally. Carrie could never stay with him because she’d die of boredom . Anyways i just wish people could see that he wasnt just this sweet guy and there was more depth to the character and he certainly wasnt perfect.
I just think this pair weren't meant to be together. When i was younger I loved them but honestly, they're not suited 😂 he was embarassed by her wealth vs him, she was scared of him hurting her and not being genuine. Get the feeling he didn't do much as a partner eventually. He seems very immature to me now and she was too prickley and mean. Its like shes testing him with how rude she is, if he keeps coming back, hes good enough. This leans into the whole pursuit of women being a good thing and not taking no for an answer, it seems to be what miranda did want even though its not! Its confusing and they'd be better off not being together ever.
I agree with you about him being an ass and Natasha fits in more woth his vision of life but I dont think that means he loves her. Clearly he didn't love anyone properly since he keeps cheating! I think he sees women as disposable accessories to his life. Carrie is a comfy tracksuit where Natasha was his best Prada suit or w/e. I think there's an argument to say the comfy tracksuit, being the thing you keep coming back to because it's always there, easy and you're your true self, no facade. I can see over the years him being his most true self with Carrie, because he knows she will come back no matter what. It's a horrible dynamic, it's massively unfair to Carrie. Maybe he does love her and would pick her if it weren't for his vision of what he should be etc and he only gets over that once she's more prestigious in society. But that doesn't make it romantic or aspirational as relationships go. He's awful, he's nasty and uses the women around him to make himself feel better. Natasha deserved better.
Also with the not going on the trip - I agree she shouldn't have gone, but the question was too much and silly, in my opinion. He already said he wasn't sure about her, 'the one', suggests being sure and in love. He has already said he's neither of those things. She set herself up for sadness when she asked, and once she did ask, of course she shouldn't go but I also don't think she should have asked. Basically, asking if he loved her and I think it was clear he didn't.
