The mistake of coming back together... CASUALLY (Sex and The City Analysis P3)

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Join me as we delve into the intricate dynamics of Carrie Bradshaw and Mr. Big in Season Two of the iconic series "Sex and the City." In this detailed video analysis, I explore the aftermath of getting back together with your ex without any real resolve and just taking things casually. What happens when you don't stand by your boundries?
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Welcome to Insights By V, your go-to place for insightful videos on relationships and self-development! Drawing from personal experiences, thorough research, and general insights from others, I tackle complex topics in a fun, lighthearted, yet profound way. My aim is to help you foster better connections with yourself and those around you. Whether you're exploring love, seeking personal growth, or simply curious about human connections, there's something here to inspire and entertain.
Trust Your Individuality, V

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29 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 131

@insightsbyv 4 месяца назад

Mary, part 4 is ready 😏 ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-SYgQB-jLpQY.html

@FishareFriendsNotFood972 4 месяца назад

Mr. Big was the absolute King of breadcrumbers. Absolute master of playing stupid games, and all you'll win in those games are stupid prizes.

@sofiarangel1315 4 месяца назад

He’s the OG! 😂 Love this comment lol

@maenad1231 4 месяца назад

Breadcrumber for sure but at least he never pretended to be anything he wasn’t. Carrie just fantasized traits he didn’t have. Carrie is actually one of the women who aren’t being gaslit when people say “pick better” (people often say that to women who were with men who were faking their entire personalities so they were under the impression they were in fact picking well)

@subratanandy2142 3 месяца назад

@@maenad1231 he was pretending all the time . He was pretending to be genuine and honest.

@mirianalajtman7728 4 месяца назад

I love hearing you talk! I feel like we're old friends!

@ughwahtever684 4 месяца назад

Omg i’m exited!!

@FishareFriendsNotFood972 4 месяца назад

"When you are driven by the fear of rejection, you are just rejecting yourself." 💯💯💯💯💯

@law11school11girly 4 месяца назад

Big did not care about her except for sex… she didn’t value herself enough to see it… their story is a great example of what NOT to allow as a woman!

@maddyG7414 4 месяца назад

Mmm I would slightly disagree. He could have gotten sex from any number of beautiful women. I think he liked Carrie for more than that, as a friend in many ways. But as we know, Big is allll about Big, so even if he liked her for her personality too, he was still just using her to fulfil his own needs, without any care about her’s lol.

@FishareFriendsNotFood972 4 месяца назад

I am so TIRED of the trope of 'as long as the man cares and/or suffers over the loss of a woman, he deserves her back'. NO. Caring is the bare minimum. To be in a relationship, he needs to show investment, direct communication, atonement, self awareness and clear goals that he pursues. Without that, DON'T take someone back. It will fall apart in the same way. So many men leverage women's pity to worm their way back in. Let him suffer, if he doesn't want to grow up in meaningful ways and build an equal dynamic, he wont. (Trust me, I learned this the hard way).

@marianagoncalves3529 4 месяца назад

The bar is in hell 🤡

@froggywithaheart 4 месяца назад

ABSOLUTELY AGREE.boyf of three yrs got verbally abusive, i broke up...he crawled back, apologised, promised to be better....at a slight argument, ABUSED ME AGAIN. and this happened on and off for a month. he apologized, promised to never do it again and DID IT THRICE within 3 weeks. and yk why he stopped? because I stooped to HIS LEVEL, disrespected him back and now...he doesn't wanna "fix" things. men are truly my inspiration lmao.

@mesCheerios 4 месяца назад

These tropes teach women to have such low self worth like we don't deserve anything beyond being desired. We are all desirable! Attraction is complicated and someone's attraction to us does not reflect our worth or anything more than the subconscious programming of another person honestly!

@FishareFriendsNotFood972 4 месяца назад

@@mesCheerios Agree!

@danajohnson8248 4 месяца назад

This is exactly what I needed to hear.

@oneshotonehit6731 4 месяца назад

I don't know who needs to hear this, but if you were the one who initiated the breakup and then you are the one who comes back, you are doomed to come back to even worse conditions than you had before. Let me repeat: you're not coming back to where you were (and that was the situation you wanted to escape by breaking up), you are coming back to a much worse relationship with your partner.

@corneliakobilke4638 4 месяца назад

Yea. It gives “you can’t live without me anyway”

@THEFASHIONPHASE 4 месяца назад

Facts.

@cannellecinnamon5504 4 месяца назад

That is SO true! You became the girls he could leave without and did not effort to get back.

@historylover9999 4 месяца назад

Yup it got worse everytime

@cherrylove34 4 месяца назад

Let's not even mention when he literally decided he would move to Paris without even thinking about Carrie and their "relationship", it almost looked like he was moving to Paris to get rid of Carrie because he just didn't want to get serious with her (especially considering he married Natasha within months of knowing her)

@indiat.7242 2 месяца назад

No one can convince me that Big wasn’t already seeing Natasha BEFORE Paris! It would just make more sense than him moving to Paris and “falling in love” with some young woman out of no where!

@milena11570 Месяц назад

@@indiat.7242that’s a great point

@FishareFriendsNotFood972 4 месяца назад

"Emotionally unavailable" also can often be translated into "they just don't like you". You can't talk someone into liking you. It's not a timing thing. They just don't like you like that. The sooner you face the hurtful truth, the sooner you can emotionally disengage and MOVE ON

@skromnyasha 4 месяца назад

Weird, when I don't like someone I don't engage with them, ever. Seems that it's not the whole truth and emotionally unavailable avoidant people exist and it's not so back and white💁‍♀️ but true, you should move on either way

@FishareFriendsNotFood972 4 месяца назад

@@skromnyasha I think often the engagement is they like the ego hit you can give them, not you as a person. I have had many men tell me candidly they have some women they use to prop up their ego (to be fair, this is gender neutral, many women keep around a back up guy to make them feel validated as well)

@skromnyasha 4 месяца назад

@@FishareFriendsNotFood972 well, that's sick and weird, it's just is. I don't think those kind of people will be good for anyone if they treating someone like a back up plan, if they waste their time with someone who they don't wanna be with but actually being with them. That is a not a good partner for anyone, their perfect person will disappoint them because nobody is perfect, their ideal don't exist. And they will not be open to a real person because it means be actually intimite and they scared of that. They need to heal themselves first, should stop using people for validation and stop running from real connections. I cannot imagine being with someone I have no interest in, no future, nothing, it's impossible. So it's not anyone's fault, it's not that they didn't like you enough, it's that nobody will be enough for them. Period.

@VeganBambi 4 месяца назад

@@skromnyasha exactly! when i dont like someone i don't bother with them and i dont make them feel they'd have a chance.

@ms.shineray 4 месяца назад

I am avoidant and i only engage with people i like, i just haven't deal with my own issues enough to be engaging with them 100% of the time

@asarishepard8171 4 месяца назад

Carrie learns big goes to church with his mom. He does not invite her. She takes it as a sign to tag along and force herself on his mother. Get a clue Carrie, you are a liability!

@rozbessel 3 месяца назад

you literally singlehandedly opened my eyes on my own relationship. like damn i was gonna distract myself with some Carrie and Big drama and think something in the line of "good thing my relationship problems aren't THIS bad" and then boom. it is almost as bad as theirs. like my boyfriend isn't such an asshole as big is, like he really loved me at some point i think, but the issues that we now have and the way i feel and behave in this situation is literally THIS. i always thought haha, silly carrie, run away from that fool!! and now I'm trying to save a relationship that noone is interested in except for me lmao and totally agreeing on way less than i really want and deserve, thinking that if it was perfect before than i just need to try a lil bit harder to win his attention back and squeeze into this microscopic place that was left for me AND never complain. gosh. thank you so much. i know it's just a series analysis but it was insightful also love your energy! you're awesome and now i'm gonna binge watch all of your vids haha

@insightsbyv 3 месяца назад

Ahahha I'm happy you like it and that its useful🫶🤗

@diannholland 4 месяца назад

Do you know what really bugs me about all this? Is that when I was younger I thought that THIS story was fantastic! That Big was romantic. And now that I am older... This whole thing makes me skin crawl. and I let men treat me this way. and I WAS OK WITH IT!

@FishareFriendsNotFood972 4 месяца назад

YEP, the stories we absorb culturally absolutely shape the treatment we accept.

@kristina4395 4 месяца назад

So true, same here... me watching at 20 and 40... i cant believe i was rooting for them 🤔💃🏻

@unicornL 4 месяца назад

This! All of this. I blame the manic pixie dream girl trope

@ssmith8758 4 месяца назад

Yup, me too! Love is struggle and pain…ugh. Took a couple decades to reprogram myself. Carrie finally gets him in the end and he dies! Bahahaha!!! Perfect ending to a tragic romance. 😎

@chelscara 4 месяца назад

This is why media matters and why it’s becoming more and more evident men have been in control of our stories

@FishareFriendsNotFood972 4 месяца назад

Carrie, it was NEVER casual with Big, you were just confusing 'casual' with 'in denial'

@Aerie925 4 месяца назад

People with anxious attachment styles (like Carrie) are often attached to people with Avoidant attachment (such as Big). Carrie wants the validation of having this avoidant guy pick her. She wants to show him ask the reasons why he should pick her and do all these girlfriend/wifey things when Big hasn’t earned any of that from her. I never wanted Carrie to end up with Big. She contorts everything about herself and her life to integrate herself into Big’s world, but Big never reciprocates that.

@ttintagel 4 месяца назад

She was immature, and he took advantage of it.

@ss-wu1vp 4 месяца назад

A guy who cares about you will not dare to talk to you like Big talks to Carrie

@maenad1231 4 месяца назад

43:00 I was taught by my father to not listen to this. He taught me to not be intimate with guys to learn if they actually liked you. If they lost interest they were never interested in anything else at all

@smartmarketing173 3 месяца назад

Good advice

@KatBaumgarten 3 месяца назад

I remember being 19 and googling "how do i know if my boyfriend is emotionally unavailable" and crying my eyes out at the answers. If you have a feeling they are, you are right. It does not get better girls. Get out while it's early

@kristina4395 4 месяца назад

💯 💯 I told my Mr Big that i would never be with him and "bye" 🌷🌷💃🏻💃🏻 dating an emotionally unavailable men is like trying to board a bus with closed doors... Both get you nowhere 💃🏻

@karabear4640 4 месяца назад

I just left my Mr. Big. Was difficult, but already feeling lighter and excited to find a better man that's isn't afraid to truly love me.

@Stephanie_Ella 4 месяца назад

Just as you have said.. at 46 I watch this show with very different eyes than I did when I was in my 20’s. Carrie was very childish and didn’t deserve nice guy Aidan. Big would’ve cheated on her like he did Natasha if this couple were real.. it would’ve just been a matter of time.

@marsianbb 4 месяца назад

Can't wait for that crazy "wedding" part lmao (Carrie and Big's I mean)

@Ayllinn99 4 месяца назад

Their relationship was so weird that things got cut to, back together( the end of the series), married( the end of the film), and dead... no relationship developments.

@hipnhappenin 4 месяца назад

I can't bring myself to the realization that maybe he didn't feel as strongly about me as I did about him. He kept his negative feelings in check and the only ones he openly showed were his attraction toward me so it hit me like a truck when he broke it off, seemingly out of nowhere. Logically I know I can't rule out the possibility that I had the wrong impression of how much he liked me, but I emotionally can't accept it. I'm depressed but I feel like that delusion is keeping me from going into a deeper depression

@BeckyEllis-vd8on 4 месяца назад

I feel you 😢

@chelscara 4 месяца назад

Break ups aren’t easy, lots of love as you navigate your pain and find your way through this

@savvy990 3 месяца назад

This was me two years ago. He made me feel so damn good about myself, and we got into one argument and he's telling me he doesn't like me anymore. He had no reasoning for saying that, and I was broken about it. Questioning myself and what I did wrong, not questioning him... I never really reflected on the "relationship" until watching these videos. It's like putting puzzle pieces together to find the whole picture (if that makes sense). It was a temporary high. You will get through this! He's a loser and you deserve the world!

@urgh9822 4 месяца назад

This little saga is so fun to watch . I totally agree with you 🍸🖤

@AudreysBrains 4 месяца назад

“Yes, because you have PROBLEMS” 😂

@juliall255 4 месяца назад

''Because you have **PROBLEMS** '' I WILL NEVER STOP SCREAMING🤣🤣🤣

@bingbingbong3798 4 месяца назад

I would love to hear your thoughts on Carrie and Aidan too. Please continue the series I am HERE for it. Also love the snippets!

@kristina4395 4 месяца назад

OMG Carrie with big is Hailey Bieber with justin bieber .. they both married the man they want only coz they gave a guy 200 chances and they got him in the end coz they won the tolerance trophy, they were persistent in accepting Whatever it takes to get the guy in the end... And accept minimum like it was a lot😱😱

@shafaleesidhu5879 4 месяца назад

you actually hit the 🎯 with this one

@kristina4395 4 месяца назад

@@shafaleesidhu5879 it just hit me when she was describing the scenes.. i was woooow copy paste 🙃

@juli866 4 месяца назад

Eso qué wey

@cannellecinnamon5504 4 месяца назад

I’m so glad that you offer a nuanced perspective on Carrie’s actions instead of bashing her, and hold Big accountable for his questionable actions. My take on Carrie’s reluctance to really have a hard conversation with Big about the relationship is that she knows nothing has changed. He is still non committed and she’s afraid that if she dare confront him, he will disappear. So she hopes that if she plays it cool , time will be on her side and he will eventually develop deeper feeling for her and will want commitment. She’s trying to not “rock the boat” or not “ poke the bear” so to speak. Big, knows it and take advantage of it by not saying “I still don’t want anything serious”. The fuel to their relationship is Carrie’s fear of losing him.

@greendiamondglow 2 месяца назад

I don't think Big has a problem with commitment. He's been married how many times? He just doesn't want to commit to Carrie.

@BeckyEllis-vd8on 4 месяца назад

These relationships keep you stuck! It’s awful going round in circles never going anywhere, but very addictive & the hope keeping you coming back for more Urghh

@smartmarketing173 3 месяца назад

Sadly, our girl friends just make it worse, filling us with optimism and false hope, wanting us to be happy, but ignoring men treating us poorly. Friends/family want the best for you, but everyone overly romanticizes dating; it’s just a date, unless that man shows you he’s really into you, and you never have to wonder where he is or how he feels about you.

@gracelembejek2083 4 месяца назад

This is so good. I started texting back to my idiot of an ex so I really needed this. Consider me gathered ❤

@mariarusek1851 4 месяца назад

I haven't even watched the series, yet I enjoy your rant so much 😆

@oneshotonehit6731 4 месяца назад

I'm having the time of my life watching your videos on SATC ❤ I couldn't agree more, also you put a lot of things in a very interesting perspective, that I've never thought of. Carrie is just betraying herself again and again and again, and it's painful to watch because overall she's a likeable character, to me at least)

@OzmaOfOzz 4 месяца назад

I am so ready!! Thanks for the upload, I loved the first 2 episodes and enjoy hearing you talk ✨️❤️

@agalo3631 4 месяца назад

Omg, Happy Sunday!! Let me grab my coffee and settle in ☕️ ❤️

@danielalizcano6648 4 месяца назад

24:37 I got a similar response, then they told people we talked everything out; we did not, I was thinking of cutting them of every second they were close to me, but it felt like I needed time to think, Was I the crazy one here or were they horrible to me? In the end I realized that didn't matter, it hurt to be around this person, it felt brutal and I had to run, with or without an answer to my questions

@chelscara 4 месяца назад

I have a friend that’s Demi-sexual and at 25 she still hadn’t had sexual attraction. The first time she got it was for a shitty guy flirting with her while she knew he had a girlfriend he was bragging about wanting to propose to. Soooooo much proof that sexual attraction does not mean JACK. I felt bad for her, navigating those feelings for the first time in your 20s is much harder than just getting to be dramatic in your teens without people really judging you long term.

@19katsandcounting 4 месяца назад

She probably has anxiety issues and love addiction.

@MsMinoula 2 месяца назад

I'm 32 going on 33 and I cannot relate to carrie at all. It'd be more understanding if she was like 24, maybe 27.

@19katsandcounting 4 месяца назад

She’s a love addict. They have 12 step programs for that, SLAA. That’s the only thing that helped me. You can’t speak rationality into an addict. They need to hit rock bottom in most cases.

@patriciaramirez8756 4 месяца назад

I love your analysys, would loce more. Right now im in a ``Carrie-Big’’ situation, from whitch ive noticed… but its difficult to take action. Your reviews help a lot ❤

@ericaclaraomena611 4 месяца назад

I'm loving this analysis!!

@palosantoxxi 4 месяца назад

I live for these videos lol

@yourfavoritecityguide1 4 месяца назад

I love this series of videos ❤ can’t wait for the next one!

@thisrandomperson2603 4 месяца назад

😂😂😂😂😂 i enjoyed this. U are really funny girl!

@Magdalena-sc6os 4 месяца назад

I really like your analysis, waiting for the final part of this season🎉

@law11school11girly 3 месяца назад

Love your videos

@nihilismistheonlyway4680 4 месяца назад

My father was ESL and i just wanted u to know your English is EXCELLENT!

@marianagoncalves3529 4 месяца назад

YES THANK YOU, I WAS WAITING FOR THIS Love from Brazil 🥰

@_hurryup 4 месяца назад

Brazilian here, too! I love these videos not only for the content itself, they are also super helpful to improve my listening ❤

@marianagoncalves3529 4 месяца назад

@@_hurryup same! É muito bom ouvir pessoas falando inglês com sotaque diferente, ajuda demais e tô amando os vídeos dela sobre satc

@kashankva5274 4 месяца назад

"don't kill birds at all" you're the best haha

@cityjawn 4 месяца назад

Thank you so much for your work! I think your analysis is spot on, relatable, and will help many. Thank you for creating a space for this conversation! 💚💚💚

@reginafromrio Месяц назад

She might have said "I haven't told my friends about us meeting" is her way of saying "I don't care that much about you ", to seem unbreakable.

@Fliegenpilz_Pilz 4 месяца назад

Yes, was waiting for it ❤

@titilopeomitogun2003 4 месяца назад

Ready for the next part!! Xx

@celebratingeverydaywithpiya Месяц назад

How can u give life advice from a show, its scripted not real sorry this is very irresponsible

@insightsbyv Месяц назад

I'm not sure how is it irresponsible being fiction characters.. Isn't it better and safer? It's fiction, what we see is what we get (you don't speculate about real people). I genuinely want to understand and make sure I'm not irresponsible with my content (I sate It's my opinion), and for me, being fiction makes it better. But please let me know if I'm missing something and I should re-evaluate. As long as we strive to do good for one another, any constructive criticism is welcomed✨️

@ischeika-tori8330 4 месяца назад

Talking in "we(s)" is just clutching at the fondumentals of the external locus of control Which is a fancier way of saying "it's all fate" or "it's all my bad luck" So yes Absolutely true that is

@toriyt2714 4 месяца назад

She stated she didn’t tell her friends yet to try and come off as she’s not all in this time like she was before. Like see I can do casual like you

@jordanbrown3887 4 месяца назад

40:16 wowowow you might be the realest on youtube

@happygoathorror 2 месяца назад

I’ve just found your channel and this series of videos and it’s so funny how you’re getting more annoyed by this relationship with each new video 😂

@chelscara 4 месяца назад

I had feelings for a guy like that in high school that I was friends with. We were fwb for awhile after but I didn’t see it as “for the future”, I was dating around and he was too. Never tried to make him my partner because I knew that was stupid 😂 Then 10 yrs later, lots of therapy on both ends, and we’re together now because we’ve become emotionally available through a lot of hard work. If he had never gone and just I had, it wouldn’t have happened and we would have parted ways. There’s no fighting for a one sided relationship, it’s always gonna leave you feeling hollow and desperate from the person that’s supposed to help you feel fulfilled. That she’s what… 30s? in the show and hasn’t figured this out a little bit yet (implying the writers haven’t either) is just sad.

@ttintagel 4 месяца назад

I kept waiting for SOMEBODY on this show to find a good therapist!

@nineteenfortyeight6762 2 месяца назад

The expression you're looking for is "feeding two birds with one seed". 😊

@veronca3467 4 месяца назад

We are ready!! Thank you for the video ❤

@yourfavoritecityguide1 4 месяца назад

Hope these came more often, don’t think I can wait until Sunday for the next one

@katharinaszaniawska5937 Месяц назад

Can you analyse Love is Blind UK? Please!!!!

@CarlaFaccina 3 месяца назад

please continue with these videos

@yerubelete8007 4 месяца назад

First!❤

@Diaspodrama 4 месяца назад

I am obsesssed please continue this saga until the end of the séries !

@insightsbyv 4 месяца назад

Ahha, thank you!😁 It's in the works🤓

@roisinbryson5845 4 месяца назад

Loving the content ❤

@BeStillandKnow0000 2 месяца назад

I think if Carrie valued her time, she wouldn't play herself that long. Big is so manipulative, and she saw him only in certain aspect, she doesn't see how broken that man truly is. she really wanted Big to be something that he's not. all he ever had to offer her was that. and because she is so anxious, she thinks that him saying the words = him willing to do all it takes to be by her side. and he's not... he's not willing to do that to anyone. he has no capacity for that, just like she mentioned in this video. but she has painted such a great picture of him, and a picture of them together. I also think that Carrie loves the way they look together. so if you value the image more than the actual experience of being with him, it's a sign of future heartbreak... because neither of you are honest. It's so heartbreaking because she really hold on to this relationship, so close to her heart, when Big never really wanted her heart.

@BeStillandKnow0000 2 месяца назад

the part where you talk about the non mutual respect and value... is so spot on. it takes us awhile, especially those of use with unfortunate insecure attachment, to truly accept that we might projecting something here that the other doesn't feel and that no matter how great we are someone might not see us that way, and we must clock it right away. do not beg for people to see you the way you see you. simply know that they are not aware.

@BeStillandKnow0000 2 месяца назад

She took his disrespect and mockery as a joke. imagine carrie speaking to big that way, he wouldn't talk to her ever again... and the part where you talk about how Big responded mockingly when she was nervous about to do the speech... gosh, he's not only unsupportive, he actually wants her to fail. sleeping with the enemy for real. his anger when Carrie put his name on the card... he really thinks he's above carrie that his name and hers together, tainted his perceived value. oh my god. he is the devil

@laryrumiantzeff 3 месяца назад

Love your videos and am laughing out loud about the fondue part because that would be sooo me. And I dont like fondue ahahahahaah

@KayTea4tea 3 месяца назад

Cheese fondue. Try it! ❤

@gitchygitchyyaya 3 месяца назад

Can you please touch on them eventually getting married?

@insightsbyv 3 месяца назад

As much as possible, I'm trying to give commentary following the episodes, so it's more 'in real time', and I am not commenting, having in mind what happens at the end ... But I will go through all the episodes and the movies😉