This channel is focused on helping people survive when divorcing a narcissistic ex when kids are involved. Breaking free from a narcissistic abusive relationship is complicated enough but when you add kids into the mix what are you supposed to do? This site will strive to answer those questions and provide you real-world experience to help you through the process.
Hi Duane. I haven't watched your vids in a while, and that's because it's been 7 years since my divorce, and the last 2 years i've really gotten on my feet again. You kept me walking forward the first 5 years after the divorce, when i was in a world of sh#%. I want to thank you. 🙏 God bless you and your kids. To anyone that recently started watching Duane/DSD and is going through marital, separation or divorce challenges, listen to this man!
YoU have saved so many men. I know that when I was first going through divorce she filed a restraining order against me and I couldn't see my kids for a year. I watched I think all of your videos and the information was valuable but just hearing about all the things I was experiencing are so common. The false accusations, the loss of income, the terror that the court system puts you through... It really saved my life. The restraining order was thrown out after a year but because of it I am a weekend dad unfortunately. But you are right it never really ends. It's been almost 3 years and she is still terrorizing me. And here I am back again haha. Thanks man.
I wonder why the other kids inside of the house were not watching the infant so that the baby did not have to be there. Shame on parkers mom for not protecting the baby. Shame on the stepdad for not taking the baby away too. Sad story
I suffered from harrowing and cruel mental, emotional, verbal abuse for a year. I was stalked, fake reports so cops came to my door putting me handcuffs, harassment, death threats until they took their own life in a violent way. Now his family exalts him like he is an angel as they grieve their loss. 3 months later I am trying to pick up the pieces of the post abuse effects and working on healing from this type of trauma. It was NPD until I believe a narc collapse along with comorbidity traits. I have never suffered so much in my life, especially after his death. It’s like I’m not allowed to grieve my own abuse but I will heal nd I will see this for what it was. It’s not worth staying another minute with abusers. I hope if you’re being abused, please seek help. You re worth every second. You are a gift.
This was an eye-opener for me: "He creates conflict to make it look like I am difficult." My ex has been demanding that I separate from my family and when I said, "No, that is wrong", he said I was not being submissive to him. I mistakenly thought he loved me but now that I see what he is cold heartedly doing to me and my family, I have no empathy for him and his abusive sob story.
I wrote to someone in the most loving and friendly way, saying that I didn't want to receive any more information or messages from the narcissist through anyone. They responded that there was no need for such a long explanation and that they understood. Three days ago, they messaged me to pass on a message from the narcissist (which was intended to disturb me), and in the same loving manner, I reminded them of the message I had sent a little while ago, where I set a boundary that was not being respected. They responded that my attitude bothered them, and they blocked me, removing me from social media and everything else. It was someone I never would have expected that from... I noticed that the narcissist had already done quite a bit of damage with their smear campaign, and it was starting to pay off.
Greetings from 2024 ive done all of this and ive had this done to me as well.. how do you figure this out when we live together doing this to eachother??
I remember when I was pregnant with my first child my narc would be stomach sick all the time acting like he was sick to his stomach…I always wondered what that was about like why he was always sick just during my pregnancy when I was having a lot of morning sickness. He was totally mirroring me so the attention was on him. Looking back now I can totally see it !
I just lost my job. Left the relationship three years ago. It's as if nothing has happened. I'm stuck in fear and rumination. The workplace was very toxic. I thought I would feel relief. Instead I'm being attacked by nasty memories.
That poor kid. My husband and I are separated, with 3 kids together. No plans of a divorce. Just separated currently for different personal reasons. We are able to co-parent very well together. Everything is about WHAT THE KIDS WANT for themselves. They live with their father and have visitations with me ( I had to move in with my mother to be her full-time caregiver). I don't know.....our situation is pretty unique....probably much different than most other couples going through a separation or divorce. But to make a long complicated story short, we don't put each other down to our kids, I make sure that our kids respect him, and he makes sure that they respect me. We support each other as parents. We still go places and do things all as a family. Like I said....we have a very unique familial arrangement. But, my point in all of this is that we NEVER FORCE anything on our kids regarding one another. We have an 'open door' arrangement....meaning that the kids are free to come and go as they please between both homes. No certain times, or days. We figured that that's what would be most beneficial for our children's mental and emotional well-being. Every family is different and has unique aspects to it. What works for one family may not work for another. But at the end of the day....its all about what is best for the CHILDREN. What THEY want and what makes THEM comfortable. Parents need to LISTEN to their children when they speak and voice their feelings or/and concerns....then base their decisions from there.
I have a husband who is 69 years old and is declining from Alzheimer’s disease. I’m seven years younger than him. I took care of him in our home alone since before the official diagnosis six years ago. He’s a four-year Navy veteran and I primarily use the V.A. medical team for everything I was allowed to use. I also was not able to get him on Medicare, I had to pick an Advantage Plan. The time had come in June that he qualified for 28 hours of contracted aides in our home per week. I wanted to cut down on his confusion and requested consistency with the staff. One aide we loved. The second aide I didn’t feel good about. She would talk incessantly and we could hardly wait for her shift to end. I was getting prepared to request another aide in place of her. Well, I have since learned that approximately one month with the aides toward mid-July. I was named in an anonymous complaint filed with South Carolina’s Department of Social Services (DSS). My husband had reached the stage of incontinence. He was also losing weight. He had chronic diarrhea and I needed the aides for assistance & guidance I wasn’t made aware of the complaint until August 5, 2024. The case investigator came into our home just as I was hearing about the allegations for the first time from or V.A. Social Worker. Thankfully, our favorite aide heard the conversation. The case investigator wouldn’t have a seat at the table, he bounded down the hall to where my husband was lying in bed. By this time, my husband had a difficult time pronouncing words. I would interject when my husband couldn’t answer questions. The diarrhea was getting worse. I kept in close contact with his V.A. medical team. I was told on July 23 to take him to Urgent Care. They sent us home with marked vials to get samples and take them to a third party for analysis. I was told after a week, they didn’t find anything in the samples. Diarrhea wasn’t slowing down. His food and beverage intake had slowed significantly. The family was made aware of his weakening condition (I am his second wife.) My husband has been taken by his daughter and ex-wife out of state. I haven’t seen nor heard anything for two months. I have an attorney and a hearing date to voice my side of the story. I’m being falsely accused of trying to starve him to death and abusing him… no of it is true. Meanwhile, his mentally unable daughter is cutting off his social security and other services. My guess is the family has banded together for inheritance. This event is making me sick. A Family Court judge heard the sides of DSS and the family. I attended the hearing, but evidently I wasn’t allowed to say anything. Now, the daughter has custody, conservatorship, and asked for criminal charges against me. This is stressful and they are trying to ruin me. I didn’t hurt that man.
I'm embarrassed to admit that I sometimes miss him and it hurts bcuz I don't want to feel that way. I don't want him to be happy. Everybody says that he isn't really happy, but thats hard to believe.
My ex husband is a massive narcissist, very cruel to children whilst growing up. Now he is throwing money at them. Their partners are Narcissists too. They wont listen to me and are trying to alienate me from their lives.
1:42 My mother constantly verbally abused and bullied me everyday all-day. I am absolutely traumatized by my experience. I live with C-PTSD and I cant afford long-term therapy. It's awful and I have often felt suicidal. I wish I could get professional help. This video was informative and validating. I appreciate this video. You're doing the good work. Thank you.
I have been watching a ton of your videos. I appreciate the time and effort you put into this. Even with more information on narcissism out today nothing compares to the experience you have. Thank you.
My sons wife constantly causes strife. She even plays him against his sisters. Sad part is we have grandchildren. We was good to her. Seriously out of nowhere she changed. She's pretended to leave my son several times. Threatening him with the kids. It's very toxic and painful. I made excuses for her. I overlooked hateful comments. I'm not sure how to navigate. My son is a deficult personality also. I might need to close the chapter. I might need to completely distance myself.
5 mins in I went and bought her book. She is very knowledgeable. Another one everyone going through this should read laws of human nature. It helped me see myself in a different light and allowed me to do some serious changing
I want to believe that my youngest son's wife has the sweet, charming personality that she shows in public. But I've witnessed numerous incidents where she's a scheming, manipulative, vengeful, drama-seeking cluster B raging lunatic. She's just stirred up another hornets nest by befriending the stepdaughter of my estranged sociopathic violent longtime drug addict eldest son. It's not going to end well, so I've taken steps to make contact difficult for him. She was so thrilled, waving & grinning when she realized this was going to cause discord. Maybe I should contact her late-husband's family (they hate her & blame her for his death) as insurance when things go south. My eldest son is 47 & my youngest son (a good decent guy married to a narc) is 41.
don't know if this happens in U.S but in UK courts they are placing barring orders (ban on making new applications) on dads, when they return to court for silly reasons, like wanting to have kids 1 extra night in the week.
My DIL is playing the "mental illness" card to her full ability. She disowned me about two years ago over something I said that was taken out of context. She won't go to therapy, she won't speak to me. My son doesn't return my messages and ignores me. My husband died, I ended up in the ICU at the hospital and when I asked him to help after I got home he refused. I'm ready to just give up. Like you said he has to decide that he's had enough.
Years of this kind of abuse really destroyed my self esteem and happiness. Before I walked in the door or answered my phone I’d think ‘what’s it going to be today😔’
We raise our children to eventually leave you.We make sure our children will be prepared mentally physixally emotionally but eventuallybthey will move on and build a life & family of there OWN. I think parents have a really hard time that there child is no child anymore there adults starting there own life.let them live there own life,be present as parents but not overwhelming.
Hi, I would like to thank you. I've gone through a horrible divorce. And during that time I found your videos. It helped me so much. Now four years later, I was thinking about going to court again, because I wanted to move the needle... well.. I'm not gonna do that. I see my little daughter every week for a couple hours, but its better than nothing. Thanks again. ❤ stay strong! (To you and all the other dads)
Took my ex wife to court to get 50/50 custody of our child got the court order and she’s broke every single rule just does what she wants and stops me seeing our child I’m taking her back to court but yet again it’s out of my pocket the court order for me is worth. Nothing my ex wife doesn’t follow it and just makes her own rules up it’s been in place for 9 months rhs and she broken it 12 times
I’ll call a dctr today. He is loyal because you only tell him lies. He needs to know you are doing ****in th e house. Basement pantry bedroom even living room last weekend. And driving in the car. He needs the whole truth told from a dctr. Not just your truth
I’ll call a dctr today. He is loyal because you only tell him lies. He needs to know you are doing ****in th e house. Basement pantry bedroom even living room last weekend. And driving in the car. He needs the whole truth told from a dctr. Not just your truth
