Life can be TOUGH. Traumatic experiences shape who we are. I get it. I've been there more than once and struggle daily. Not having anyone to relate with doesn't make it any easier. It doesn't matter what stage of recovery you are in. If you need someone to listen to just to get out of your head for a bit, you've come to the right place. Going forward, I'm going to talk more about random experiences I've had throughout my life. Some of them will be intense. Some of them will be funny. Some of them will be cringey... Let's all be a part of something greater than ourselves. Whoever is watching/reading this... you are worth it! We, as human beings, aren't perfect. We don't have to let our past define who we are. Much love to everyone!
this is what everybody would feel , because its how the brain creates endorphin, but…its not the substance , its not the opiat what gives your the feeling ,its how the brain react to this substance and how the brain prevent herself from overdose , making the opiat receptor bigger and bigger , this causes the phys.addiction and whitdrawal . And stop creating own endorphin . opiat you will never forget , there will be always anyone inside my brain who crys give it to me, give it to me….No , No will live ; i love life , this isnt love. 40 years ago , 40 years clean , but the hunger is still there.
You described heroin addiction precisely. Had a family member that lived exactly the same way. He threw us family members right out the window. He developed a badly infected lower left leg from collapsed veins from injecting. He died before it was amputated. It was all a nightmare.
I’m genuinely sorry for your loss though it doesn’t bring him back or change anything. If only we were able to realize, in the moment, the damage we do to our loved ones - more of us would make it. I appreciate you sharing that and I hope you know and believe it’s never our intention to hurt our family. We still do and it’s sad for everyone involved 🫂
Ill never forget first time i did it. Years later I saw the guy i bought it from in prison. 10$ orange top vials. Was 18 but had bad habit sniffing. I just got the rush . I only did 1 10$ bag in needle. Id do 4 every morning sniffing, roughly quarter gram. I didnt stay on needle right away. I sniffed and shot for another month or so. After about a month i strictly shot it. That was almost 25 years ago.Today im battling i really dont want to take bupe anymore
I’ve been struggling with crack on and off for about 5 years now. I’m able to maintain my job, though living check to check is not fun. My last relapse a few days ago sent me into a terrible depression. I’m only starting to slowly come out of it. I’m very 50/50 about quitting completely. The thought of never using again is honestly scary to me.
It's so scary thinking we can never get high again. Not at all a guru over here obviously, if you don't look at it like it's going to be forever, it can help. If you just make the commitment to not get high for today - it will go a long way. Please stay safe my man and thanks for your vulnerability. People from all walks of life are welcome here, always 🙂
Lets talk about what drug addiction is. Its a disfunction of the natural revard center in the brain. Around 8% of global population suffers from it, You dont cure from it by just saying i dont wana use now.
id walk everwhere me or my dealer had walked and look for crack...but never smoked it...always tryed to melt it first to see if it was....fucking devil of a drug
i would feel the same way. except the ringing of ears. mine always just went distorted for a sec...fuckin crack ...was clean 6 years relapsed 3 months ago been depleting my savings...today is day 4 of starting clean all over
I love your honesty and your explanation of herion how it feells......I say it feels like when you get up from bed in the morning in a winter time and take a freshly heat tumbled cover and wrap in around it!!.....That's hoew heroin feels like!!!!.......Like being wraped in a hot blanket!!
How many of you crack people are on anti-psychotic meds trying to do recovery but while on those meds the only thing you can feel is smoking crack? And you feel trapped in a cycle?
MY VOICE HAS BEEN SILENCED MY WHOLE DAMN LIFE. MY BEAUTIFUL SACRED MIRACULOUS VOICE. MY VOICE IS MY MAGICAL GIFT OF TRANSMUTATION! that being said, all my life... I have given people access to me in ways that I should not have EVER granted them access now, I want to scream at the top of my lungs: FUCK OFF!! YOU DO NOT GET TO HAVE ACCESS TO ME IN THAT WAY!! THE DOOR IS NOT OPEN!! YOU MAY NOT COME IN!! ACCESS DENIED!! I've been programmed my whole life to be silent, conditioned to have no boundaries...
Once someones been so used to treating you a certain way, to change the whole dynamic would ruin everything. I've flat out ended relationships/friendships just bc its more hassle than its worth. Its crazy once we gain insight into how f'd up we are and realize our whole social network is catered to our f'd UPness.
Back in the late 60's we tried smack for the first time they were small red capsules called penny caps because they cost one dollar and inside was China White and never needed to be heated up like the shit these days, half of that cap and immediate puking and far from pleasurable I thought what kind of crap is this it only makes you sick it was glamorizing the shit I was young and thought this is what real men do, it was after about a week of fooling around with it that the good part started to shine through and the dreams unbelievable you nodded and if you thought of something it would start running in your mind like a good movie as soon as you awoke it was gone so you nod again over and over to run these tapes through your heads, no confusion or crazy mood altering like acid, you had to nod so the movies would start anywhere you wanted to go you were there open your eyes gone instantly and you thought wow this trip is too much it was exciting to see what you could conjure up and every time you took a shot the first thing happened was one good puke and then heaven in your mind, I have seen friends nodding off and waking up the cigarette they had just lit had burned all the way down on their chest while laying back half the paper still melted into their chest and not felt a thing from wanting to see the movie run its course. The garbage that is sold these days is anything but the Real McCoy, just a bunch of mixed chemicals, yeah it's kind of smooth but the movie is gone, just wake up drooling over yourself but no action just a nod, the good part, you don't puke, and like everything in life you can't take it too far just periodically, never daily..
i think you guys just over reacted about it , the human minds could reach over any thing , control every thing you ever face if you got it straight , knowing what you doing knowing how it gonna get to you , strong mind is unbreakable
idk what to do. im a middle aged woman who never did any drugs until i turned 42, and i started clubbing, and eating ecstasy..someone gave me perocet to sort of come down after the night was over...now? im severely addicted to pain pills, which i guess isnt the same as heroin, but the withdrawals are scary...ive done some very shameful things even for these damn pills...i want help, but i dont know what to do. this is all so confusing and scary to me. :(
opiates are sneaky like that. They rewire your brain to think that this is what you need in order for everything to be ok. When you don't have them, nothing feels right. I don't mean for this to sound like such a generic response, you can google treatment centers in your area that are willing to work with your health insurance. Sometimes, some people, all they need is detox to hit the reset button to get back on track. I have faith that you can overcome it. It's not impossible though it seems like it is. Eventually, without it, those same good feelings, enjoyment in life - comes back. My heart goes out to you.
@@RecoveryTalk it sucks, because im more about avoiding the sick feeling at this point...im out of my depression, and im pretty happy...sometimes i even forget to take the damn things, until they remind me in the worst way possible :/ i regret ever doing this. thank you for your reply, you described it perfectly!!
My first time using heroin itvtook my breath away. A wave of euphoria and warmth. Total content and i never looked back. 27 years hardly any clean time. Smoked for many years but as soon as i hit it. Yeah its a lost cause for a long time.
