Andy Luttrell is a social psychologist and science communicator. He studies the science of our opinions, where they come from, and how they change. On RU-vid, he shares ideas from the science of psychology and what makes people think and act the way they do.
This channel also features a RU-vid-ified version of my podcast, "Opinion Science," which is about the science of our opinions, where they come from, and how they change. You can subscribe to it on all the usual podcast platforms, but feel free to listen to the RU-vid versions!
Manipulation how to make people do what you want them to do. I'd rather be by myself, and that's why. Real honest relationships don't matter. It's all about how to use others to gain advantage. 😢
is there a group of people on RU-vid that take keen interest on RU-vid views number of various videos and make meaning out of it like myself ? or is it just me
It especially sucks when you want to make sure nobody feels excluded but then others exclude you Btw it's nice to just read through the comment section and see how we all struggle with these problems. We are not alone in this<3
I always get rejected and excluded in the most brutal manners. I understand if they want nothing to do with me, but to dunk on me and make me feel like trash really cuts deep. I just want to make friends and I'm constantly walking around eggshells with others. The slightest inconvenience causes a major burst, I can't live like that man. It hurts
All you have to do is don't put up with mistreatment. As soon as they mistreat you, leave them immediately. What is worst then solitude life is hanging out with those that bully you. Settle for solitude life then you see how peaceful it is. I mean sure, it is ok you want to make friends, but don't be so desperate to a point where you become their doormat. Don't let others mistreat you just so that you can hang out. You will be forced to become their slave.
It sucks every time I try to hang out with my friend she always talks about herself then if she sees someone else she knows she will ditch me. The last time we were at a party she said hi then didn't talk to me at all unless I spoke up. Ended up just talking to her boyfriend who also looked bored and uncomfortable being there. He was ok to talk with but it not like we know each other, it wasn't until we were shooting darts and actually having a great time then she came back because everyone else left. I left soon after because it just made me feel like a backup friend
Other people's lives only appear greener when you are comparing yours to others. I mean look at what happened to her boyfriend. He is just like you. Not having a good time at the party. You were not the only one getting attention from your friend. I bet her bf was not even getting enough attention from his gf. I would assume her bf was treated this way in the party same as you. That is why her bf was ok to talk to and I would assume her bf was ok with you. So it proves that even if you were to hang out with someone don't guarantee you will feel important. You can have multiple friends and still feel lonely. I bet her bf felt like a backup friend to his own gf. If you aren't happy in solitude life, you will only assume gaining a relationship will be greener and then once you gain that relationship, you will end up discovering that it isn't as green as you thought it would be.
It drove me to madness I threw objects against the wall. Ontop of it they laughed whenever i was in the same room and they had conversations with each other for example in the car ignoring me completely as I sat right behind them. It made me question earth it made me question is this all real. It’s a miracle I am alive because I wanted to die from the insanity these people caused me. I should’ve never saw them again after that. All the while they claimed to think I was just crazy like they had no idea why I was crying. Sociopaths
Bffr I get excluded almost everytime and I gotta do smth for em to even get noticed but when one of em feels slightly excluded the world be revolving around em
Dissonance is likely to increase dramatically as we are exposed to growing levels of mis-/disinformation. I need to avoid reacting to hyperbole and wait for "the rest of the story."
Yea my family is here for me! But I’m never invited to do things with them! Maybe I’m reading more into it! But like gou ing to fish. Going to the park for a picnic.. or Birthday celebrations and they come over here and they plan things together, but they never include me! The next time this happens, I am going to say how about me and I included? But are there really things that I need to be excluded from maybe friend things but not family get together things
When you never experienced the negative side, you will only assume gatherings will be greener. Once you get mistreated in family gatherings, you will eat your words and fight to have solitude life.
@@patriciaspires5450 If your goal is to earn the spot in the gathering, you are not in position to call anything out. This is how they can kick you out of the group. If you are there to earn a spot, you don't get to take charge. You only get to take charge if they are the ones wanting to earn the spot to be with you. You only have a power to be bossy only if you are really in charge otherwise if you attempt to take charge in a situation you are not in charge of, they can punish you by excluding you. If you cut corners for answers while you were the least favorite, you will be seen as being desperate to join. If you are not included, just leave them alone. Calling them out is what will make them be proud of excluding you.
Now I understand why so many fell for the 💉, also pushed it on others but now it’s get are quite. The truth coming out has made people look the other way. Sad!
This is great ... but ... a follow-up video about "how CD - has been and is still being - used ... in politics" would be very helpful. One might falsely think that CD appeared only when the words were coined in 1957. Far from the truth. Human history is (probably) filled with examples of CD. A starting point can be: "Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori." How else would you convince humans to kill each other. Tell them that it is "sweet & honorable, it is to die for one's country." (Horace, Roman Poet, 65 BC - 8 BC)
Is this a history lesson or a deep dive into the actual theory, my comment is that you focus more on the idea and less on the person. While giving credit to the owner of the theory is good, making it all about him really takes away from our objective
Today was the first time my friends had a sleepover without me and i’m not saying they can’t hangout without me but the fact that they ignored my texts just ducking hurts
They were treating you like strangers in the 1st place. Just don't invest in them. It hurts a lot more when you depend on people who don't take your presence seriously. If you depend on them and calling them friends, chances are, you are lying to yourself claiming to have friends. That is why when you hang out with people, you don't hang out with them to get out of solitude desperately. Once you show signs of misery, this is how you failed their shit test. They leave you out to see how you react. If you enjoy solitude life more, you beat them at their own games. Other then that, if you make this being about you, this is how you give them a reason to disown you.
I feel so excluded at school. My Only friend at that school has many friends and they just don't bother including me in conversations. No body there notices my extended absences, but will openly say they miss their friend if they're gone for a day. All school year, I felt unwanted and disliked.
We do these studies to show the psychological harm of these things yet we allow people to abuse others in school and work. I know because I’ve been on the receiving end of it. Kind of pointless to do studies like this then allow institutions to abuse people 😂
i am hurt.i cant understand it.i cry inside.am tired am despered.i treat everybody with politness and am very positive with anybody .even those who dont talk to me.i get rejection and bitterness in return.i say hello and i dont get respond.i say thanks i generally been good and respectfull to everybody.i dont get anything good back..for me i know .is like satan is turning the world bad and if you are still good they want you to get crazy and be bad also.but with me ia different .is like they know me from somewhere and they want me out but first they want to hurt me.am tired
What you were doing is putting on a show. You may be positive around them but you aren't positive around yourself. Those other people can smell fear out of you. When it comes to making friends, you should never expect anything in return. If you charge them, they will know you are putting on a friendly act in a desperate attempt to get out of solitude life. When you are desperate, this is how satan have you on the ropes. Got to expect that you did not take the time to know them which means you will be treated as a stranger. In an environment where they barely know you, you need to follow the 1st step which is be happy in solitude life for reals. There is no faking it. If you fake it, others will sense it. When it comes to being friendly, it does not mean they owe you their time. If you get a mindset thinking they owe you their time just because you are friendly, that will be considered entitlement. To give you an example, I can go on many job interviews and be friendly to all the job interviewers. It does not mean any job interviewers will hire me especially if I don't display any required skills necessary for the job. Being friendly is not enough. You need to demonstrate what kind of value you have other then being friendly. Making friends apply the same way. You all you do is be friendly but don't know how to pass an elevator pitch, you don't get in. Making friends is about making a good impression and so is job interview. Nothing in the world is free.
And when you do make a friend ( that friend will always leave you for different reasons: eg . To move to another country , they leave for a better job , they will leave to get married and start their own family )
@@angeldelite6113 It is better to leave in good terms then bad terms. At least those example you give is considered leaving you for good reasons. A good friend is not about how long you hang out with them. What if they got married but is only pretending to be happy and acts happy in front of others by always arguing? There can be many people in toxic relationship would wish to trade places with you. You may be good where you are because if they don't have special bond with you, they don't have a job to lecture you or attempt to fix you. Friends are normally supposed to support each other in separate journeys. Think about this. If you are just friends, you won't expect them to pay your bills or babysit you like a fiance or a child. Even if they go to another country, get good offers, get married and start a family, they can still keep in touch. If they were good friends, that friend will balance everything. I would think only your heart needs to feel connected to them. Friendship is not over just because they move to another country, get better job offers or get married to start their own family.
I should tell you that I kind of doubt the research. Last month I paid for 2 days of vacation for my brother's birthday to a very good hotel. He definitely did not take it as I hoped. I got yelled at because I didn't ask him if he wanted that or not. Apparently I am not a thoughtful person because of it. Even if I paid more so that he would be able to change the date according to his schedule. We are not close obviously but now that I m getting older I thought a birthday gift would be the step that can change that. So I was saving for months. He gave me most of the money back and told me that i have no excuse for this unacceptable behavior
Semantics or actual concepts? Talking about just semantics is super annoying. Stereotypes and prejudice are part of the umbrella term “rascism” in general usAmerican language whether you like it or not; whether it’s linguistically accurate or not. The way ppl are >actually< using the word is more important than your opinion. Language is alive and changes. And that’s a whole other issue.
I have work colleagues that I’m really friendly with and one on one they connect with me quite comfortably but as a group I’m very much excluded from weekend texting chains and outings. It makes no sense. This has happened most of my life. As a result I rarely exclude people because I know how it feels. I like to bring everyone together but it’s really hard to do.
I mean my whole friend group does this.. but this one girl in particular (RILEY I hope you see this you big A hole) always excludes me on purpose and ignores me. I can tell it’s cuz she doesn’t want to get excluded.
This meant in her mind, she needs to be mean to you just to fit in with the group. She is definitely being manipulated into doing the group's bidden because she is doing whatever it takes to stay in that group. You don't have to be like that. That group you join have no common sense. They have to resort to being mean to others just to fit in. Don't become a part of that group because what is the point of joining a group that teaches others how to bully.
Would you say that cognitive dissonance is the same as observing a discrepancy? (also, thank you for these videos. i am studying from an exam tomorrow and this has been a major help, especially the examples) Namaste from India :D
I imagine the reason for the racoon would be that the initials of Random Acts (of) Kindness are RAK. Thank you very much for these videos; they are just the right length, informative, clear, and enjoyable. :)
After years of the being excluded i have learned to be alone and happy. Once you learn to not care, then you're ok. I was picked on and excluded as a kid,. I have been select with friends because of that, my bestie of 10 years just burned me, I am really gfood with everyone leaving me alone now
Sounds like when you were a kid, you were the #1 target for bullies. Now you live the adult life wanting exclusion. If those bullies are picking on you, normally, they will hate to let you walk out the door for your solitude life. Bullies normally won't give you an option of exclusion because they want to keep you around just so that they can pick on you. When you said you were picked on and excluded as a kid, that right there meant you clearly need to fight for exclusion. Bullies won't let you walk out the door that easily. Now as an adult, you see solitude life as your friend. After all, if you went through years of being bullied, you would want exclusion.
