Cut through the stigma & negativity surrounding Borderline Personality Disorder & get the facts.
From Borderline to Beautiful will give you hope in your recovery journey. Rose Skeeters is a mindset coach & licensed therapist at www.skeetersstrength.com/. She also recovered from Borderline Personality Disorder.
Hear stories of recovery and get your questions answered.
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The Favourite Person that is in an intimate long term relationship with a pwBPD will also imprint them making matters worse when they separate. From all the research I've done I don't think that the pwBPD ever gets over the FP.
First I want to thank you for sharing this content. I'm not a fan of how the algorithm works on RU-vid and I feel like your stuff should definitely be up there with the rest of everything else. Pleasantly surprised to find out that you are in the Philadelphia area. Because that's where I'm located as well. I'm just outside King of Prussia. I think it's pretty awesome that there's someone local doing the stuff as well. Please continue to create content. Thank you very much.
This was perfect. I'm dating a woman with BPD. It's undiagnosed , but to he symptoms (getting every video I've seen) are spot on. And it has been difficult. Out of love, I don't want to give up. I want to make her aware and help her on the journey to getting better. But .. she's now 43. This is very deeply ingrained. And unfortunately I fucked up months back. So of course everything I now do is discredited easily. She only seems to see me through that filter and therefore only believes my intentions are to manipulate her. "Assuming" I have good intentions is not on her radar. Fallow that by doing things unintentionally that trigger her episodes or, out of trying to avoid the conflicts that inevitably arise with BPD, I omit details of my day/life because I ever up over defending my self for doing something innocent. Example. I have a healthy platonic relationship with my ex wife/mother of my child. And my girlfriend assumes the worst. So I don't feel free to talk to her openly about my communications with my ex, because if she sees I can have a healthy dialogue that doesn't evolve negativity and maybe shows emotions and time to time. It automatically means I'm having an affair with my ex wife. So in order to avoid that conflict. I avoid communicating with my ex all around her and/or I don't tell her when I text/talk to her. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. I can not be the real me when it comes to handling things with my ex because it's perceived as a threat. If I can be that healthy in a friendship with the mother of my child, then why not go back to her? That's her mentality... But that is a question she refuses to accept the real answer to... Why don't I go back to my ex? Answer; because despite the chaos of BPD, I understand that she suffers with it and that right now it's uncontrolled because of her lack of understanding and awareness of it. But I still love her tremendously because I can see beyond the BPD. Hopefully success will happen. Because when she's not in an episode. She's awesome. And I happen to be patient enough to wait out the storms because I know the sun is still behind the clouds.
Why can I listen to all this from you but my spouse who has stuck it out 17 yrs says very similar words & I can't hear it? He's studied & spoke with multiple professionals & I can't hear it from him?? 🥺
I'm struggling with this now. I'm saying the same things to my significant other and the most loving way possible. I've studied mental disorders for many years. I'm not a professional but I've been through my own traumatic events and overcame them and I'm constantly buried in podcasts like this day in and day out listening to new ways to help myself continue to grow as well as other people around me. When I see something that's broken, I don't say oh well it's their problem. When I see something broken I think to myself, how can I fix that and then I begin to educate myself in the best ways possible to fix it. That's how I stumbled upon these BPD videos. Because my significant other definitely struggles with it but I couldn't figure out what it is that she was struggling with. So I kept searching and then finally found the gold mine of BPD. I've been extremely patient with her. And at times I deserved some of her wrath justifiably because I'm not perfect myself. But if you have someone in your life who understands you. They understand when you go through a BPD episode and you're in that negative mind state, that isn't the real you. Because sooner or later you come around and become loving and caring and fun again. And that's what we hang on to. We know that while the BPD person is in there negative mind state, that they are actually wanting to show love. And that's the way they try to show it. It sounds crazy but that's really what it comes down to. Because if the BPD partner did not love us, they wouldn't worry that much about potential worst case scenarios. Unfortunately not everybody is as patient and open-minded to see this. And that's how the stigma circulates when it comes to BPD. I only hope my person sees my efforts someday for what they actually are. And not perceives them as some kind of manipulation tactic as she sometimes claims they are. Because if I wanted an easy relationship. I would have left by now. But the fact is, I want the relationship I am in. And good things are worth working hard for.
I just want you to know I have been having such am overwhelming week and your voice and information has helped me calm down and saved my mind space. Thank you so much.
Whoa, St. John’s Wort is not a placebo! It’s a homeopathic antidepressant, which, if you want to try it, please, please speak to your doctor or psychiatrist. I would also not take melatonin if your doctor does not prescribe it. Yes, you can buy these over the counter but they are not FDA approved, therefore, please seek advice from all medical sources.
what's wrong with acknowledging that you're splitting? youll never be able to change without noticing your toxic behavior. i think cause i feel things so intensely, i refuse to believe other people feel the same way as i do? i don't think its, i lack empathy.....
Hoping to connect with my daughter , diagnosed with BPD. In observance mode currently. I wish she would actually listen to this, and then we could talk about it. She would not , and probably could not.....
Thank you for this Rose. I had some joy and pride in how far I had come in all of the hard work to recover until I listen to this episode. It has thrown me right back into ideation and the realization that I'm a monster who does nothing but hurt people around me. To think the last 18 years of my love life were completely fraudulent because I don't know what love is according to this theory brought great clarity to what a parasite I am and how none of the work with professionals are on my own was worth a darn. Thank you thank you for bringing clarity to my need to leave my wife and kids and family and everyone that I care about and just disappear as the tyrannical, manipulative, controlling, sociopathic freak that I am.
I know someone with BPD and they're caring and loving and amazing. I'm grateful to have them in my life. People with BPD can be a huge blessing! It hit hard to read how the podcast came off to you... I hope that you're doing much better again now. I don't think she was referring to everyone with BPD as necessary being that way, just that many may be kinda like that without realizing it...still... I know the way she worded it was intense... I guess it could be because she has BPD too and ya'll experience things intensly and so express things intensely. I think she had a really negative view of her past self and was expressing that. I don't think she intended to make others feel hopelessly horrible about themselves, but rather bring things she realized about herself to light so others who are the same way she used to be can realize it about themselves too. I don't think she intended to come off as hateful, but I think she hated the way she used to be. But I don't think she necessarily meant to define the way everyone with BPD is in their relationships. Fighting for recovery is valuable!! I'm glad that you've come far! 🫶 Keep it up! I prayed for you and your family! I hope ya'll experience an aboundence of healing and that the love ya'll have will keep growing.💚
My ex was exactly like this. I know I did the right thing by walking away. I saw the toxic relationship he had with his "best friend" and I knew I did not want to be in that spot! The tyranny is exactly what our relationship was.
Hello Rose, I've heard in one of your videos that you own a support group for BPD patients on Facebook, but your Facebook links are down. I would be really interested to join this group and i would like to know how to join.
Hello ! We are rebranding right now, apologies for that inconvenience. Please send me an email at rose@skeetersstrength.com so I can get you linked up! <3
What a great decision Sam and well done on going a harder path for life, treating you bpd rather than the easy path of letting it define you. It’s great to hear your story, well done again, I imagine your life experience is Tripple what most people’s is at your age. “ The choice thing is really hard” I like that line, years ago I was so mad at a friend because they pointed out that my bf at the time couldn’t ‘make me’ anything unless they held a gun to my head, I was so angry and it was only months down the track I realised why, because if someone isn’t making me, then I’m responsible and if I’m offended or angry then I have chosen to be that way, there is always another choice. And yeah I get that if people do something like cheat on you, etc, whatever, of course you’re going to be hurt, but there are many choices in that, angry, sad, indifferent, resentful, you might even be happy if you look at it in the right light, string free brake up with serial cheater, just as example, still a really hard thing to do in the heat of the moment. Another short cut that helped me was asking when I was offended, angry etc, what else could this be? My friend late, sooo disrespectful... well what else could this be? My friend late, is she okay? Again hard to remember when emotions are running hot.
My partner is 48, He had massive sexual emotional and physical abuse as a child. I’m really committed to trying to make sure that he’s well in the future I love him very much. However I find that I have my own traits that point to borderline in some instances. And you’re certainly right about the therapists and hospitals and everyone else don’t want them especially a 6 foot three very fit very muscular man who can throw a tantrum and then actually disassociates and not remember what he’s done in that tantrum. 😞
You are right, though intergenerational trauma is something that people fight against. I think more it's that there is no excuse to give up and not fight against intergenerational trauma. Thoughts? <3
Brilliant! I just received this diagnosis and now that I’m personally affected, I see the terrible stigma it carries. Of course we can recover! I would think the first step is to have the humility to see that some of my behaviors are negatively affecting others. I hard pill to swallow.
I am sorry you had that reaction. It is hard to hear the way the BPD brain causes us to hurt those around us, though without hearing those things, it is hard to change. I hope you are able to gain some insight or hope from it ! <3
What your mother did to you, that's worse enough. It sadden me very much that we lowered our standards of how people should treat one another, to a point that childeren are expected to be resilent to a parent treating them like this.
The worst part is we don't even know what we did until it's too late. When my FP died, i have vowed NEVER to have another favorite person. Thank you for this!
Dear Rose, thank you so so much for your Podcast. I've been listening to it on spotify for half a year now and you changed, if not even saved my life. This is such a precious resource and I am so grateful to you for kicking my ass and telling me I do have choices and that I can change and be a better person. I hope you have a wonderful week.
Thank you so much for your positive comment, Annelie! I love hearing that my perspective has given you hope and motivated you to change. I appreciate you and I will send you positive energy for your continued healing on this journey. <3 - Rose
My cousin has cast me in the role of her enemy for NO reason that I can understand! She has been giving me the silent treatment for over a year while love bombing all of our other cousins/. Does that sound like she might have BPD? She is definitely not at peace with herself. But I think she hides that from most people. She kisses up and kicks down (and I'm down, apparently!) So I feel like I'm burdened with this insight in to her thinking.
Thank you so much for making your podcasts, your brutal truth is helping the start of my recovery so much. You've helped me realise I have a choice in my behaviours and that bpd does not define me. Currently in the process of detaching from my "favourite person" and getting back on track with my own life purpose and my own happiness... I'd love to see some vlogs in the future!
Thank you Sarah! I am so glad to hear that these are helping you. I will definitely do some vlogs in the future! Good luck with your recovery journey and let me know if you need anything!
Yes! I am uploading them all to You Tube - but you can listen on Apple, Spotify, Anchor, Google Podcasts, and pretty much anywhere you can listen to podcasts :) Here are a few links: anchor.fm/rose-skeeters podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/from-borderline-to-beautiful-hope-help-for-bpd-rose/id1502426191
Rose I'm following was first diagnosed 20 some odd yeat ago in a child custody psych eval I denied it until 2 years ago when I was hospitalized again for suicide ideation anxiety and all kinds jazz have not found much treatment for this psychological problem BPD I find your group and you're podcast highly enlightening would really loves more help
Hello Grace! Thank you for reaching out to me- I am sorry you have not found the right help. Would you like to schedule a free initial consultation? You can do that right on our website here: www.thriveonlinecounseling.com/product/free-15-minute-consult/ I look forward to connecting with you.
Is it also possible to change the way you feel about things and not just your behavior/response to triggers? I’ve been in therapy for 2 years and I cannot say I feel better at all although I can better control how I interact with others
Yes, absolutely. Your behavior and response to triggers is important at first as it provides a bit of stability, though recovery over a long period of time requires a lifestyle change, identity development, and moving from a selfish worldview to a more empathetic, selfless, worldview. Sending you positive energy!