Also, I really understand the drug and alcohol abuse paradox. She uses them to calm down to play chess, which should afford her control and peace, but really, she self-sabotages by losing control of her senses. She confuses a quieter mind with a clearer mind; she hates the amount of consciousness she has. At nationals, I had my first panic attack and I had an identical experience. I really love that so many people can relate to her. I seriously love it so much. I'm certain that it's so many people's comfort show.

And, I want to make it very clear that it is not always stress, anxiety, fear, or confusion that makes Beth lose. Beth loses because she is not better than her opponent at that time. Beth loses to Benny not because of the mind games he played, but because she can make mistakes and errors. Beth loses to Borgov because she is not as studied in the lines as he is, and because she stubbornly refuses to study lines (Partly because she doesn't like the idea of memorising rather than playing in the moment since she loves the beauty of Fischer-esque chess - and also, what if she studies them and still loses? What if she can't win?). She is NOT infallible. She struggles with the idea of overcoming her nature - her preconceived notion that she is no more than the psychological basis of her mother. But she learns that she should be constantly changing, that there's improvement, that she does need to work and that she needs to nurture herself like everyone does.

I have more to say. Beth is a genius, but genius is a very loose word. Simply, I believe it is someone who has inexplicable or inexpressible skill, who may not fully understand the skill themself. This lack of knowing leads people to believe genius is so untouchable and incredible. But genius is only a facet of a person. A whole person is more than just their intelligence. Look to their personality, their behaviour, their words, their intentions. Everything you can notice about someone. Beth is a character, so take her genius with an even larger grain of salt, as portrayals of genius are, again, not full, as genius itself is inexplicable or inexpressible. It's particularly hard for Beth to understand her genius because she is the only female genius in her environment (other than the Russian GM with whom Beth cannot or did not interact with, unfortunately). She seriously needed other women who were as genius as her to understand her thinking better, but that is the plight of women of her time, and of women throughout time. It's changing but not enough. It's crazy that chess is still split into men's and women's categories; I despise it. Beth ALWAYS, ALWAYS thinks of herself as a chess player before she thinks of herself as a woman. She needed female companionship and she barely got it from her mother and from Cleo.