Bravo to this sister...I did the same thing...saw red flags closer to the wedding day... found out after our wedding he had 3 kids with different women...I instantly became a mom to 3 kids...I was told by his uncle's to never question my husband...my mom yhooooo advised me to start taking prevention pills because once I have a child with him am trapped... when he found out I was being beaten up every day after that I needed to perform sex with him. Yhooooo guys my Dad and my big brother got enough of his narcissist nature...they came and removed me from this hell of a marriage...he demanded his lobola back...I told my parents I will return every cent of it...he ended up marrying 4 women after me before he died in a car accident...now his family are ashamed to look me in the eye...I was weak I admit it but my brother and Dad were strong for me. Did I say he was HIV before he died...yeah I would have been infected too. God thanks for rescuing me from this monster
Your dad and brother are the best for removing you from that situation, and your mother was wise enough to suggest prevention pills because you would have really been trapped emotionally and physically to this person through the children.
Growing up i always told myself i will marry at 40 fast forward to when i was 20 i started going to church i wasnt even dating and i was unbothered all i wanted was to have money.. but can i tell you that at 21years the only thing i wanted and i prayed constantly for was to get married and that desire was planted in me by the church . I kept wanting marriage but it never happened i ended up being bitter and angry at God .. i love God but i really wish i never went to church because my passion and dreams died and all i wanted was a God fearing man yoh .. churches must stop glorifying marriage
I think we shouldn’t allow such experiences to taint the beauty of marriage and what God intended for marriage. The problem is we people have ruined it.
Sorry dea....marriage is not for all. Every person has their own journey.. We may not know why some things dont happen as we wish.. but one day we will get to unnderstand why? Read Deuto.. 29:29. The bible says.. The reaveled things are for the children of God.. but the hidden misteries are only for God..This is why we can not question God.. why some things dont hepen tonus yet we are true followers of God..Let me share this sad bible story. John the baptist was put in jail by King Herod.. Jesus knew.. but bever bothered to go and check on him.. but intead told his disciples yhat they should tell him about the miracles he was performing.. Haw..how can the master say so.. Has he fogotten what Jkohn's mandate was.. No God knew. His time was over. The savior had come.. so John had to go back.. BUT note.. through a painful way.. He was beheaded....My cster who are we...So when things dont turn your way. Glorify God...❤❤❤
I cut off the relationship 4weeks before our big day .I honestly saw a lot of red flags & I knew family wouldn't allow me so I decided m leaving will come back after the set date.I don't regret that decision at all .16yrs later I don't regret a thing .
"by December I want twins" this is a demand by someone who "bought" a woman for R60000, not a conversation between lovers. Nomthandazo even if you left 9hours into the marriage, I'd still support you my sister. I don't know why this man is not in a mental institution
Good for her. She was smart. Man I wish I would've left 9 days in. It would've saved me 15 years of being called a b. I always thought things would get better but things actually got worse. Now I'm waiting for my divorce to be finalized.... hallelujah!😊
There's a trend of pastors, marrying girls who they call "the face of the church" they sleep around with the one they love, but choose the beautiful to boost their statuses and they can't give them appropriate love attention.
On a wedding day nothing came out of this man expressing his love for Nomthandazo. We are hearing him priding himself on favours he is doing for Nomthandazo by marrying her. Telling her to kneel down as a sign of submission it's also a red flag. You are a Shero gal. Multiply wherever you are. We love you❤
I have him on my Facebook and I have always suspected that he is the problem. It's unfortunate that he's now victim is a 2k, I wonder how far they are going to go. He apparently met her last year September and December he married her....I really feel sorry for that poor girl. He gives me bad vibes, he makes live videos with the little girl saying that he wants 7 kids name twins aba fana blah blah🤦♀️🤦♀️
So women who think they are queens are also narcissist? 😂 Thank you for this tip, I'm dating for marriage and all I meet is women who say they are queens and want princess treatment. I always feel like it's a red flag, now you've shown me that it is
He can talk openly about everything his ex-wife did except the concerns that she raised at the family meeting. This speaks volumes. He is hiding the real reason Nomthandazo left him. I salute Nomthandazo for leaving early before she got cut deep by this man
There's an interview that he did where he was saying they got to the reception and were offered drinks and his wife got angry that he drank alcohol, he said he drank a little bit he didn't want to be rude,but apparently he used to drink and his wife told him that she didn't like that,yey ziningi izitory zalombhem,but uyabona maethi he lost it and they fought 🚩🚩🚩even the fact that the wife had to be escorted by the police,ai kuningi okwabonwa uNomthandazo in just 9days,she's still traumatized hence kunzima to even talk about her experience
Simply put. This man is extremely imature. I doubt there's a drop of wisdom within this guy. She left because she realised she married a child. Even his conversations are childish.
It's the vows for me😭😭😭😭 I would have walked out the moment he said in front of the people who wanted me.... Kneel as a sign of humbleness 🙆🏾♀️ my goodness... Gloat and narcissistic
those vows are creepy...then he says he paid for her 😂...he is mental bandla. There could be some truth in her being shady but he is also too aggressive.
I see arrogance,I see unbeliever speaking,I see hypocrite,I see someone deep in men's tradition,He can be PK, BUT honestly he is not save, the world still is in him. The mess is just too much in the body of Christ from the so called Christians but they are not
The lady should have left him at the altar. This guy was disrespectful just at the wedding. Those were not vows but demeaning the way he addressed the lady to kneel down. He didn’t go for counselling before marriage. He is a law unto himself. Secondly how do you tell her you want twins or a baby in 9 months. I don’t even think he is a good preacher. He must be heretic and doing false teachings in his church. He is just arrogant and foolish.
So Madam Speakers husband also need to tell his side of the story because there's way more to this thing 😂. Or maybe he's quite because "when dealing with a narcissist, it's not even worth it"
Wedding was grand.. a lot of planning, effort and work went to making wedding successful.. it's like , there were no effort, work or even discussion went to marriage.. you would rather have a simple wedding and a grand marriage..
Many single Christians do not pray for their future spouses.... they pray for a particular brother or sister, because they have interest in that particular one. God designed marriage for a lifetime. But many have to leave their marriages because they shouldn't have been in those unions in the first place. This man is mad! The woman was not a property for purchase! The dowry has its purpose but the woman was not property to be bought! The communication from this man is very immature...
He has no filter, all those comments about bedroom and making babies in front of friends and family are so inappropriate. Love her strength and ability to not tell him details about herself, the whole South African would now know when and where she lost her virginity. This man talks toooo much.
Yup he overdid it with the bedroom comments, sounds like a scapegoat for a gay man who's trying too hard to prove that he's attracted to women and his muscularnity Kanti Nah he's attracted to men
But how do you get mad that someone is not a virgin while you are not a virgin yourself. Fought?? He fought his wife. You know what that woman did well.
@@unitylahmah8924Did that topic even come up?? Did they even discuss anything before the wedding. He appears as someone who likes listening to his voice, I doubt there was any discussion
I suspect violent grape too, what did he do to her to ensure that twins will come. Also, police won't come just because someone has packed their bags and is leaving their husband.
You said it perfectly that was a top achiever moment, women from church don't back down easily😂 bona she could have asked the church to fast and pray for them but for the mere fact that she didn't have time for that it means bekunyiwa!
It's my first time watching the channel and I don't know if it's a Christian channel or vulgar words are allowed like I read a comment from molebogeng. Another thing is that why are you saying marriage is glorified in church because I can only call it an encouragement to marry instead of fornications up to having children out of wedlock as Christians. I still didn't hear why did the wife left except for what I heard to be a life sentence crown she was supposed to wear. It's ok that she escaped the worst but red flags are there long before but are ignored especially by women. The nonsense of men expecting perfection and purity they don't have from women is being selfish. I was disturbed to hear this pastor saying that men must be respected at a work place. The question is by who and how. If I am your boss in my company, where and how still. Let your no to nonsense be said from the word go cause you might not be the lucky one to escape. Women must mature themselves to fight desperation because it's another course of jailing yourself.
Thanks for the analysis. I regard Nomthandazo as one of the most intelligent women on this planet. She has wisdom and intelligence all in one. She could see the narcissist and acted appropriately. Pastor Zulu's behavior leaves a lot to be desired. Pity, narcissists are at the most born which makes it difficult to outgrow or cure the condition. I wish we can have more Nomthandazos. Bravo girl.
This man has many red flags. The other day he did a live talking about this woman. Haii something is wrong. The more he talks about this. the more i see that this lady made the right decision.. Run while you still can
Everybody is focusing on the fact that the marriage lasted for 9 days; but nobody focused on the fact that this marriage wasn't ordained by God. That means nobody sought God for the right decision. I am 100% sure of my statement. Otherwise, this wouldn't fail so quickly because God will protect us at any cost. Even if He needs to say in advance to do not make that choice. Both pastor and wife need to stop blaming each other and start to blame themselves for not seeking the right counsel and direction of the Lord. It's nobody's fault, but you choose to be disobedient.
Perhaps She didn't want to get married but was coerced to marry the Pastor. And the Pastor was too busy bragging that He is getting married and forgot to make time to know each other. Nevertheless its good for her to leave. She knew what she wanted
I've been reading these comments, but no one has said anything about ukuthwala. Inhliziyo yam ingitshela ukuthi uthwele lo "pastor" . This poor girl saw something or experienced something that is beyond comprehension, I suspect that's why she hasn't said anything publicly
Ayyy something has been off ngoGuy. Something is not make sure bathong. I watched his story 2021/2 followed him on tiktok and watched on RU-vid. Bravo to the lady for being brave to face "abantu bazothini"
I know nomthandazo we attend the same church❤ she's a very strong woman and has never talked about her marriage since she came back after that 9 days, we respect her wish since she's respectful, she stays at Siyabuswa(watervaal b), Mpumalanga
Tell her she is blessed and she must not come out to say anything at all about it . She must let this devil of her ex husband buck like a dog until he is tired. She must pray for her next husband and ignore the noises of this world. God loves you my dear treasure that don’t let any man take that away from you .
Bravo to the lady for walking out early. As for being shamed, just keep it in mind that people will always talk nomatter what. Doing what's best for you & save yourself from the worse
The fact that she took BC before honeymoon is clear she was being careful not to get pregnant and be trapped. She saw red flags before the wedding. Glad she left, talking about twins before the end of the year???Haibo
The fact that men think they're "buying" someone when they pay lobola is the first problem nje with marriages. This Cedric was telling his wife as his property he bought and own, what he expected of his property. He expects his machine property to produce him twins by end of the year, he bought it phela for R60 000. That is usually problem number 1.
I have been married for 15 years and I still don't know the amount my husband paid for my lobola. My parent say it is none of my business to know the value but to trust that he has shown them that he can take care of you. In my tradition we do not discuss how much a bride was worth, instead we talk about how your husband treats you, and whether you are safe in his hands and if you are respecting him too.
If the first thing you tell a woman i want twins by December,what happens if she cant?If you complain on social media about paying so much and she was not a virgin,then you must have told her too much.And the fact that they had a meeting barely a week into the marriage means things were tough.Only God knows the truth.Or maybe this guy had weird fantacies😂😂😂
Whether a man or a woman is God fearing they must go for premarital counseling first. That's where most things are discussed so as for one to see where they are heading. At the same time the decision has to be taken there.
But the premarital counseling is positioned wrongly coz by then the lobola has long been paid, wedding date has been set already and by then most of the things have been paid in preparation for the wedding. We should actually be prepared for marriage in mid youth days, not after paying the lobola.
In my church we have premarital counseling and it really helps you decide right there and there if this is for you because our pastors tell it all during the counseling they don't leave any stone unturned so u go in knowing what you are putting yourself in lol. I thank God for Lighthouse Chapel International New name Strong Christian church. 😊
Oh wow! I really like this channel..lady keep bringing more to our attention.i hope the younger ones are joining it to learn from other pple's experiences..this must stop..really!!!
You’re right, she’s definitely much better than me too. Speaking of red flags, it’s sad how you only realise much later what their impact actually is. I shake my head when I think of small red flags which had I known what I know now I would have not gone into that marriage. And with that I’m teaching my kids how to behave and judge character with the small things.
Thats why its so important to have a good support structure & friends who you really trust. When we are in things we do not see the writing on the wall but our support system can point out our blindspots. We just have to have the humility & wisdom to listen & take a step back to also read the walls.
Just looking at the crowning act that he pulled at the wedding, it speaks volumes about how he sees marriage and the power dynamics between him and his wife. Then when you hear the demands he was making and how he was making them, you get a sense that this marriage was all about him and the wife just had to comply to meet his demands. Unfortunately, that’s now how healthy marriages work
60k is not a lot of money hle bathong. 😢 For the fact that he's wearing a ring and still complaining about his ex😂😂😂 I feel sorry for the current wife😢😢
I pray some day he'd realize what he is doing to her is not ok. He should come clean about his sexuality and stop tarnishing the lady's image like that 💔💔 He comes from a very respectable family, angaz why bangamukhuzi!
This guy is a bully, a narcissist, entitled and lacks maturity. All these reasons he's sighting could have been approached in a better manner. Uyidlabha nebhimbi ngezinkulumo. More over there was no love nor respect to start with.
