1) Speak through a smile. smile through your eyes and be charming. laugh at your own words. do not smile 24/7 like, starting a story, start serious and it gets to the funnier part, you can start smiling and then start laughing. keep the smile genuine. try to guide the conversation to things that actually make you laugh. 2) own the space around you. use your hands when you speak, use gestures. and even when you're not speaking, you can take up space when you laugh. put yoir head back, pur your hand on their shoulder or knee. this way you can slowly make people more comfortable to your touch and so if you're interested in them, you will easily be able to kiss them. also, another way to know if they're really interested or not. take up the space around you. ALSO, do not laugh at everything the other person says, it's cringy 3. Bounce between a) teasing lightly b) complimenting kindly bounce back and forth between this. this is called as the push-pull technique. this makes you less predictable and makes gou moe interesting. they wanna know what you'll say. more likely to work on people who are used to JUST good compliments. they're more likely to be attracted to this. don't just tease and be a jerk or give compliments and be out in the friendzone. 4. don't hide your flaws. own the mistakes that you did. if they jab at you, take it and laugh at it. if you're scared, admit it. Admit being scared, embarrassed. be willing to laugh at your own mistakes and be willing to own them. this shows you're not afraid to be judged. the thing that would bother other people, you're comfortable with it.
I liked this and wanted to share it, when I looked it up apparently there is no record of Mr. Lewis ever saying it, but there is a very similar quote from author James Sherman: "You can’t go back and make a new start, but you can start right now and make a brand new ending.”
As someone that used to be obese and recently got into the best shape of my life. Being comfortable in your own body is HUGE. It's a heck of a lot easier to "own the space around you" when you're not self-conscious about how you look or if your love handles are hanging out in a weird way.. Being in great shape boosts your confidence automatically. Once you do that, a lot of the tips being discussed here simply come naturally. That's my personal experience anyway.
When you go from fat to fit and you see women looking at you that never would have before it's incredibly motivating and inspires a lot of confidence. That confidence just amplifies your attractiveness.
I have a big... BIG... BIIIIGGGGG... muscles!!! HAHAHA!!! What did you think I was going for? That's so DIRTY of you! GAGAGAGA!!! I am the funniest RU-vidr ever! Maybe that's the reason why I have TWO (!!!) HOT (!) GIRLFRIENDS. Thanks for being alive, dear val
Seems like a warning is appropriate: be VERY careful when touching other people in public, especially people you don't know. The two Chrises can do it because they're obviously friends and enjoy being around each other. But for those of us who aren't gorgeous Hollywood stars, it can be very easy to invade someone's physical space in an unpleasant way without meaning to. Read the room, always.
i love the video, can you make a video how to react in negative situations because most of these actors you cover are usually in a nice group of people and the energy is always lifted. how about a situation where you really feel uncomfortable? love your channel
The important thing is self-awareness. With it you can realize what's funny in the current situation you are. You can start to see yourself as someone else and therefore distantiate your feelings from your thinking. That obviously requires some energy / attention span in each of your conversations.
Push pull is hard to pull off if you're socially awkward and especially with the opposite gender. I've seen so many clips of guys on dating shows who think it's cool to talk down to their date or constantly tease her, but then say the odd nice thing. I think if you are doing it, the ratio has to be 80/90% nice and 10-20% tease. Because humans trend to overestimate the mean comments so much more
Push-pull requires you to do it with a friend of yours who is good at it, when in front of a girl. Takes two to tango. If he certainly isn't (he doesn't have to be great) -- it won't get you anywhere, and if you continue to keep trying, you'll look annoying to him as it'll make him more closed in. Trying to do that with a girl is only going to work if she's very sociable herself + banters well with you. It's something to employ with a girl After you get things rolling with her in some banter, to test out -- and to really roll with if it clicks with her.
None of this works unless you are naturally charismatic to begin with. These people are movie stars because they had charisma to begin with. They did not learn it afterwards.
@@Frankie5Angels150 that's not true. Look at his video of the rock. Charisma is absolutely a skill you can develop, it's just that most people don't put the effort into learning and practicing
One thing this channel taught me about charisma is that there is no one size fits all and you should not try to be someone you are not. For my personality, I have found something akin to Chris Evan's charm to be most natural to incorporating into my own social interactions.
Have you considered that you may have adhd? I do and one of the symptoms is that I forget what I'm talking about while I'm talking about it. This doesn't mean you can't go into the conversation with confidence though. Remind yourself that no matter how the convo goes, you'll be ok. Because you will. Then remember that if you mess up or forget you can laugh it off knowing you're human, we all make mistakes, and you will be ok. You've got this! 👍
@@OMGSHEENA Thanks for the comment! :) yeah, I thought of that. I know that I have social phobia but I don't know if it's the cause or consequence of something else, maybe adhd. I'm still looking for the courage to go to therapy. Because of the communication problems I'm very afraid of it.
@@zoeydeutch6768 @Zoey Deutch Don't be afraid of therapy. A good therapist that is the right fit for you will listen to you and offer tools to cope with and/or overcome the obstacles that your brain is creating. Try online therapy if it's easier a lot of health insurance companies are starting to cover online therapy now. Your brain, like mine, may work differently from some, but that doesn't make it broken or bad. As simple as it sounds breathing is the best tool I've found for almost every issue I have and I have so many issues I offer subscriptions. But seriously, feeling anxious? Take a deep breath and let it out slowly counting backwards from ten. (Also if you have someone you trust near by, hold their hand. Skin to skin contact releases dopamine and other "feel good" hormones) Feeling angry? Take a deep breath, close your eyes, remember something that makes you feel calm (think of something ahead of time to be your go to so that you'll remember it when upset), smile and let the breath out slowly. Got the hiccups? Take a quick deep breath that expands your chest pulling shoulders back and hold it for 5 seconds and release slowly (gasping when scared or holding breath expands diaphragm which is what really helps hiccups), Can't stop crying, having IBS issues or experiencing pain? You guessed it .. slow deep breaths in, slow puckered breaths out (like you're blowing out candles slowly) Rapid short breaths when in pain or otherwise can cause hyperventilation so slow breathing can be vital. I had a boss that used to ask every new trainee what the number one rule in a knife fight is. Most would say bring a gun or don't forget the knife etc but the answer is to "remain calm" and I've found this to be true of almost any situation. The best way to remain calm, or atleast appear calm is to take slow deep breaths, in my experience. Even if someone is verbally attacking you, arguing etc just tune them out, hum if you have to (it helps tune out inner or outer noise, and take deep slow breaths until you're ready to continue. Obviously if you're in physical danger remove yourself from the situation if you can, breathing can't stop a knife or a fist or bullets but it can help you to think clearly and calm your body and mind. Also you'd be surprised how much standing with good posture, chin up, shoulders back etc., will influence your ability to feel confident. Good luck!
Its easy to be charming when you're comfortable with the people around you, and you're already respected like Chris here. If you can be like Chris in a room with strangers and you're not a celebrity, then that's impressive.
I don't necessarily agree with that. You want to be successful, if you get rejected or fail that means you main a mental mistake or error, which is going against a competitive work environment that shuns errors. You want to feel confident and have a long history of successful experiences to draw from. If you keep getting rejected, you get numb and slowly turn into a loser.
When I taught piano one thing I really loved about my Chinese students is how they would laugh at themselves when they messed something up (in one of their piano pieces) during the lesson. It was so charming and made things fun.
0:00 - Intro. 0:30 - #1: Speak through a smile. 2:21 - #2: Own the space around you. 5:25 - #3: Use the push-pull method. 7:30 - #4: Be willing to laugh at yourself.
I must say I haven't seen a relatable investment, my wife pushed me to start looking into stock and crypto some time before the pandemic because we were looking for other sources of
Just discovered your videos yesterday and I'm super excited to start testing all these tricks. Thanks for doing what you do to provide non-toxic advice.
been waiting for a chris evans character study from this channel for years but this isnt what i expected. maybe something around the lines of how to get around public speaking anxiety which evans has repeatedly admitted to having and seeing how he's grown out of it would be nice!
Quick question: throwing my head back and laughing like that is something I really WANT to do, but I feel like as a girl it gives off a different impression than when a guy does it. Is that just a false perception on my part or is there something else I should do instead?
Just because it gives a different impression, doesn't mean it gives a bad impression. Some people will like it and other's won't, so it's a great way to differentiate between people you should spend your time around. But like they always say, do callibrate it to the people and the situation. A general rule is to just keep your energy at 1 level above everyone else (in group settings.)
@@peckishcloud My problem is that leaning back and laughing is just so unnatural to me. I’m worried it’s going to come across as fake or excessive. I am a man btw.
@@D00Rb3LL That kind of excessive laughter isn't a necessary thing, but just like any skill you have to develop it. Most situations don't call for it, so I would focus more on laughing deep in the belly, making it feel more natural, and training your mind to focus on the funny to make laughter more common. These things take time, but making it habitual is what will make it feel natural.
Some charming girls I’ve met move their head sideways and use hand/arm expressions when laughing. It’s more subtle but it might be easier for you to adapt yourself and personalize it if you feel like leaning is too much.
Late to this question but my girlfriend has a really drastic laugh when i tell a good one. Head back and a very loud HA that quiets down into more normal hahahas, but I always just go "yeah! I really got her that time" its what I always thought since the beginning
Com'on!! If someone is good looking and attractive, he automatically behaves in a manner which has a pullimg effect, ur body language during conversation comes from confidence, if someone is attractive he will not be looking much for approvals, so wat matters mostly is ur looks. If u r gifted with outstanding looks y would u feel insecure?? and it results in build up of comfidence.
Its more of the opposite effect, these traits are what make people successful, for actors and celebrities charisma is what gets them to success as an actor. Entrepreneurs like mark Zuckerberg, Elon Musk, Steve Jobs don't need as much charisma because their strength lies within there respective work, though the ability of public speaking is extremely helpful for big company owners.
So what about adding some more examples with women to your videos? I'd recommend looking at the cast of Ocean's 8 - those ladies are so fun to watch, their chemistry with each other is pulpable and each one of them has great sense of humour.
Wish I had these video guides in the 2000's so I wasn't this socially awkward kid that got picked on. Learning to laugh at myself along with others taught me to accept my flaws and has changed me to the extrovert adult I am today.
People shouldn't worry about how they're perceived when they interact with someone they're attracted to. When you put on a mask to increase you ability to be perceived as attractive, you'll only gain the attention of those who are attracted to the act you create, not the true, inner you. It's campy and it's corny, but never underestimate the power of just being yourself. Being sexy means that you believe in yourself. Best of luck to you all as you discover this. Just remember; if you can't love yourself, how can you expect to love anyone else?
Ever think that trying to come to conclusions on how to act based on the behavior of an ACTOR who has reasons to behave in a way that garners popularity might not seem like the best idea, that it might not carry over 1:1 to regular people? Being on shows where they're paid to be there won't have them being their genuine selves. Just my 0.02, still fun to watch these clips.
Yeah, it is a play for the audience as much as a play between them. Still worth considering implementing some of the behaviour patterns and have some fun :)
Make a video on Draco Malfoy (Harry Potter-movie version). He is a really interesting character but what makes such a huge number of people like him ???!!!!
Real way to get women to obsess over you, be obscenely good looking, have a great personality, have insane career. Chances improve if you're married, get that "can't have him" vibe going too.
Love the breakdown. I know that it’s been proposed in a video before that Tony Stark and Robert Downey Jr. are "cooler" than Steve Rogers and Chris Evans respectively because of the former’s sarcastic personalities, but I feel like Rogers and Evans don’t need sarcasm to be charismatic because they’re kind and kindness *is* cool.
These videos are great at analyzing the actual behaviors that constitute charisma but IMO there’s no way to just do these things by memorizing these methods. You have to have the personal foundation that will allow for you to behave this way naturally-mainly being very, very secure in yourself-which means being very honest with yourself about your faults and loving yourself while fully acknowledging your shortcomings. Also, a deep belief that no matter what happens in your life or what people think of you, everything will be OK. The general lack of concern for what people think of you will follow, which will free you to be yourself. Being unburdened by insecurity and a genuine feeling of everything will always be fine, you’ll likely just naturally have good humor and be funny. It doesn’t hurt to also be doing what you love for a living. Developing these characteristics is the real work that has to happen. And as others have mentioned, it’s hard won for folks who aren’t wealthy, handsome, and who don’t have the outward approval of millions of people. I still think it can be done. It’s just a heck of a lot more work for the average Joe to do these things than for celebrities.
Hey I hope you see this comment, I think you should study Daniel Cormier. He’s one of the most charming people in mma and everyone seems to be his friend. I’d love to see a video on him !
I would really appreciate more details on implementing the push-pull method. It sounds like something I do to a small extent naturally. But I think I could improve in both finding appropriate opportunities to tease and delivering complements in non-cheesy ways.
You should do a video on how to recognize if you are being manipulative without meaning to be. And alternative ways to communicate or respond that aren't manipulative.
