This is the story of my family. No-one will talk about what my father did to his daughters, all his daughters. It continued to the next generation. I went to the police when I found my daughters had been hurt by my brother in law. And I am the one who is blamed for destroying the family and "bringing disrepute" to the church. Despicable system.
That is heartbreaking 💔 and I hate that you went through this too. Why are we accused of breaking up the family or “ruining someone’s reputation” by speaking up about the abuse? The ABUSER is at fault here, not the one speaking out for Christ’s sake!!!! If they didn’t want to hear about the abuse they should not have abused in the first place. The victim shaming is so wrong, it makes me so angry! You did the right thing by speaking up and I know you know that, shame on THEM. I’m sorry for the trauma and horrors you live with and pray you find peace in your own way.
I hear you, I want to say 'hugs' but know that is not necessarily a helpful concept. Though you paid a cost that you shouldn't have faced, you were strong enough to act.
Freedpeed....in reply: According to the law of God, AND THE LAW OF HUMANITY you're the one who SAVED YR FAMILY: NEVER FORGET WHAT YOU DID WAS GOOD AND RIGHT: THE OTHER THING, SO MUCH GOODNESS AND LOVE FOR THE TRUTH TO PUT THAT TRUTH RIGHT.. REMEMBER YOU HAVE THAT IN YOU: YOU WILL NEVER LOOSE THAT KNOWING WHAT TRUTH IS.. UNDERSTAND THIS IS A GOD GIVEN GIFT, WHICH YOU CARRY IN YR HEART... THE OTHER PART O F THAT GIFT YOU KNOW HOW & WHEN TO USE IT PROPERLY: YOU HAVE A RARE GIFT: I ASK YOU TO STOP AND THINK ABOUT IT AND ACKNOWLEDGE IT TO YOURSELF.... THIS GIFT OF G O D FEEDS WHO YOU ARE: OUT OF ALL THIS SUFFERING, YOU HAVE GAINED SOMETHING IN LIFE WHICH IS RARE : I BLESS IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST, MAY HE PROTECT YOU & YR FAMILY AND EVERYTHING YOU DO SWEETHEART ❤ THANK FOR SHARING YR STORY... ITS HARD TO TELL OTHERS...
Screw anyone who blames you. They are the problem. Hold your head high and have a wonderful life. You can go out and find better people and a better community for yourself without the toxic people. I’m Sorry they treated you so hurtfully.
It’s amazing in certain religions and cults, being born a women is a sin in itself. My hearts goes out to women and girls who suffer for no reason whatsoever 😭
☯️ Ironically the craziest thing to me about the story this woman was telling in this video was towards the end when we find out that her dad owned a Gun 🙄🤷♂️ Someone like him was allowed to legally own a gun ? 🤦♂️🇺🇸 classic USA
Because those people don't know God. Women are precious in the eyes of God and men are supposed to treat women with love and respect and actually completely die to self. This is manipulation by selfish, evil, loveless people that claim to know God but with their works they deny Him. And THIS is all from the Bible!!!
It is very very sad and heart rending.... though I know what she has been through in some part.,.. I have not been through quite the extent trauma that she has been through... but sad to say it is all too common in the Amish churches....
My uncle is a Vietnam vet and was in such trauma and chaos during his time in battle that he froze and did nothing . I had a brutal childhood and was telling him once about not knowing what to do so I did nothing . He said it was OK. Sometimes even a soldier with a weapon freezes . Little girls shouldn't have to deal with violence and cruelty .
Soooo touching hearing what your uncle shared with you yo help you w your own trauma. I still deal with freezing as a coping mechanism from abuse. I get so mad at myself that it's sooo challenging to deprogram from that coping mechanism and malicious conditioning from my abusers. It makes it so hard to accomplish things so often still. I feel a lot of sadness from the way my coping mechanisms and horrible conditioning still impacts me 😢
As the oldest child in a... situation where I felt responsible to stand between my siblings and a parent. The thing that helped me the most with letting go of some of the harsh expectations I had for myself concerning protecting my siblings, was talking to them about it. I listened to them and how they saw me from back then. I talked to them about my motivations for the way I was and owned up to the things I did that were not good. I never thought they would love me but I was ok with that as long as they survived. They do love me though. They told me they don't care if I think I deserve their love, that they love me anyway. I learned so much and it felt so good to be able to tell them and just talk about what happened very plainly with them. I'm really glad that they gave me a chance.
This is so very insightful and encouraging to hear from your experience, thank you for sharing! Some of my siblings aren’t speaking to me because they are angry at me for speaking out about abuse in my family but I will definitely be moving toward having more open conversations with them when the opportunities present themselves …. Thank you again for sharing this with me ❤
If the Amish and the off shoots of the religion believe in the Bible, how do they justify all the abuse to their families. Love thy neighbor as thy self……but abuse your wife and children. I can’t grasp their mindset.
This is the hardest interview I have watched. Please let Meg know how much love and support she has from us; which is how I feel about all of the people you have interviewed. Human Beings have progressed in so many ways yet it is horrendous to learn that some people are treated in such ways!!
There is only one arguably reasonable solution ... ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-x9XRe8Kcy9Y.html ✌️🧩🎲🍄 stay safe and stay free... those god damn commies are everywhere...
@@BlendedMixLifehi Hi , I have Amish acquaintances that I barter with at times, I've never seen abusive behavior and don't get that vibe from them but one never knows😢, they had One son leave and allow him to visit, although he has to change into Amish clothes beforehand.. Now I maybe see these folks 4 x a year, but they have 2vdaughters left at home, I pray when i go there and connect to their higher selfs that if there's anything i can do to reach out for help or if they know someone to reach out to me.. I wasn't in a special cult but it is a cult, though I feel every church is a cult, the bible is full of blood sacrifice, murder and incest, it's no Wonder these deviant's can somehow justify their behavior because of the bible and the cast of characters, it's messed up!!!! 😮😮😮😮live Free, love Much ❤❤
I just don't understand how he isn't in jail. The relentless child abuse, the horrifying and torturous murder of animals with nails 😭, and the death threats! He is a danger to every living being around him. He is psychotic and cruel. I hate that he is a free man. All that ended up in his path deserved SO much better. 😔
What absolutely SICKENS me to my core is, all this ABUSE and TRAUMA is done in the name of GOD. I am so angry. I grew up with so much Trauma, I need to hop off. THANK YOU FOR PUTTING THIS OUT THERE.
As someone who was raised in a high control religion, I deeply empathize with your experiences. No human should be treated the way you were. You did a brave and beautiful thing by sharing story with the world to help wake people up. 💛 *Please do alot of “self care” and rest as much as needed. This work you do is extremely heavy and can be difficult to recover from. Take as much time as you need to heal.
Wow! Christine! Thank you so much for your generous super chat! Your support means a lot. I’m not sure if you were meaning for me or Meg to do lots of self care, but I’ve been able to take a few days off recording which has been really nice. I try to stay balanced and add in fun and happy things as much as possible. Thanks again!❤️🙌
I First Encountered Christianity In The Independent Baptist Church, but I never saw any of these things spoken of. I went into the charismatic movement, it wasn't a cult, but there was mind control in it. I don't think the mind control was deliberate, but there were people in it who would say, "God says, XY, and Z" and they expected u to believe it everytime. I even found myself afraid and terrified to make choices, because they wanted u to make choices based on new revelation. They wanted u to shut your brain off and base new prophecy on emotion, and that's horrific. Today, as a thirty-six year old man, I'm Still A Christian, but I'm In A Sect some have heard of, other have not heard of, It's Called The Orthodox Church. There's no mind control, or cults, or new revelation, or child abuse in The Orthodox Church.
@@OrthodoxChristianBelieverplease understand...Amish are not "BORN AGAIN" which God places extreme value on..... Being Born Again makes you a Christian....NOT GOING TO A CHURCH BUILDING ! ❤❤❤❤
@@dewuknowHIM, lol! Nobody ever said showing up to a building makes u a Christian. I've had Protestants accuse me of not being Saved, because I'm Orthodox. They thought I believed going to an Orthodox Church made u a Christian. NO, IT DOESN'T. A Church isn't even a building.
@@dewuknowHIM Your comment shows that you are also a brainwashed member of a cult. There’s no reason to believe that you have your be “born again” to be “saved”. That’s an unfounded claim based on nothing. Believe what you want to but don’t pretend your religion is more true than any other.
My brother grew up without a dad because back then you could sire a baby like a dog and nobody talked about it , fast forward twenty five years he meets a single mom falls in love with her baby instantly my brother died from chf when the baby was thirteen well he insisted that his son be named after his "dad' I just wish he had lived long enough to know that because that was one thing I've heard deadbeat dads are not taught how to parent so it's not there fault if they start the cycle allover well I have to call b.s on that one because my brother proved that to be a misconception!
I witnessed my dadbeat my brother in the backyard. I did nothing, and it haunts me to this day. I was too afraid to speak up sadly. I was in such a state of shock because I'd never seen my dad do this. 😢
Hearing this story was hard. But at no time I saw and heard a victim. I think Meg is more than a survivor. I would call her a creator - of her own strength to break the circle, of a safe space for her and her kids and ultimately of her own happy life that she mentioned at the end of the video. This was, is and will always be a lot of work. I wish her the best of luck, she deserves it! Thanks for your great work with this channel! Best wishes from Germany 🇩🇪.
I have to agree, at no time did I see a victim. And even if I did, the fact that victims take it upon themselves to sound the alarm is more than just profound.
I grew up in a home with a mom who was an addict, and was very abusive to my older sister. She was 6 years older than me, so I was much smaller and younger. I still carry so much guilt for not standing up for her more. I only did once that I remember, because my mom literally had her cornered in the kitchen with a knife. I was so terrified, but I was able to get my mom away from my sister long enough so she could run to safety. I wish I had been so brave as to take more of the abuse from her. It’s something no child should ever have to feel guilt about. This woman is so so strong. Absolutely remarkable.
You’re telling my story… Triggerwarning!! My mother ran through the house, holding a knife and crying: Because of pity I have to kill my kids (translation from German). My sister, 11 years older, took me and fled when I was 5. Once I got help when she was beat up, but I was still so little… I also remember the police coming when I was two or three. My mother’s boyfriend choked my sister with the cable of the iron. My mother hold me while I was trying to run to my sister. My sister lied about the abuse and hid the marks under a scarf because she didn’t want to risk coming in separate foster homes. She was responsible for me. For my food, my education, my security since she was 12. She didn’t have a childhood. And I am so sorry and I remember so much. And I made mistakes myself, we were so angry… She got into a problematic relationship later and we lost contact. We didn’t talk for about 8 years. I miss social abilities (due to trauma or autism, not sure) and don’t know how to fix it. Nobody has contact to our older brother for about the same time now. He’s depressive, lost his job and he was made compliant to the abuse and abused himself. My mother’s addiction destroyed our relationships fully and we all struggle. My father was also an addict to alcohol, stopped when I was about 6 but my siblings had known him being verbally and psychological abusive for a long time as well. Being a sibling in these families is hard and you will never escape fully. You’re often victim and violator at the same time. I fight with myself every day to not let the anger get through my kids. I didn’t know how much was still there until I became a parent. I manage. I am not perfect, but I certainly broke the cycle. My mother came from an abusive home as well.
I am born and raised in a community with a very large Amish population. A close highschool friend of mine ended up marrying into the Amish community. The things she went through was surprising. Very similar to the stories told here. Eventually she moved to the DR to get away. Thank you both for brining a spotlight to this.
Thank you for sharing these stories. I live in a town in PA with a lot of Amish people, and hearing these stories is enlightening. Keep them coming please!
Yes! That’s the plan. We are going to take a little break and go into a couple other Cults but we will come back around. Already have 3 interviews lined up.
If you think this is normal or characteristic of Amish people generally, anymore than others, that is just deception from media, and especially social media. I live in a major US metro area and this kind of ugliness fills some of its neighborhoods, especially. No "high-demand religion" is needed. All that is needed is human nature without education and accountability. I think those are probably a much bigger factor with some old-order churches than with other church settings, but I would ten-to-one rather have Amish and Mennonite neighbors again. Wonderful people on the whole.
Mental illness of family members can affect you in ways you won't fully understand until many years after you've been exposed to it. Mental illness was rife in my family growing up, and I witnessed so much violence (physical and emotional) because of that, and experienced it directed towards me as well. I am 35 and it wasn't until recent years, after years of counseling, that I've been able to REALLY get a grip on what that did to me as a person. May you fully find your way and may you heal fully from all you went through. I wish you all thee happiness in all the world. 💖
I think the guilt she feels over the abuse of her siblings stems from the human need to feel in control. The child tells herself she could have controlled the situation if only she’d tried, because to admit you have no power at all is just too terrifying😢
First time I heard Charity called ( publicly) a cult! I still have family in that 'amped up' environment where the use of scripture to manipulate its congregants, especially the women, is second to none. THAT is the issue I have with this devilish system. The dear folks have been led to believe that they could never be trusted to hear God on their own! Only leadership could guide them.
Another motivation I’ve heard often is the oldest daughter will try to take the a*use so hopefully the younger siblings will be protected. When it fails to stop the continuing a*use of younger siblings the sibling who tried to protect them is further devastated. Evil. Just. Plain. Evil.
this woman seems very strong willed and stubborn, even proud - and i say all these as positive things!!!! shes a strong passionate person and being in control over herself has helped her survive. no wonder its hard for her to internalize that she couldnt help her siblings :(
I didnt grow up in a cult but in a dysfunctional and neglectful family. And damn there was a lot of what was said in this episode that I can relate to. This channel/podcast is truly valuable and Im so happy to tune in every single time. Thank you for all of your hard work, both of you!
yup, this is why i relate to folks who grew up in cults and folks who grew up in alcoholic families. they're all examples of dysfunctional families. i find interviews and speaker meetings (i attend a 12 step for this) exceptionally helpful. i don't feel alone. like meg shared that she learned about the feelings wheel at 25 and didn't know what some of them meant. i was 36 when i learned that feelings were real. up until then i thought they were a figure of speech.
MY FAMILY WERE FROM DISFUCTIONAL FAMILIES. MY PARENTS WERE SURVIORS OF THE HOLOCAUST.AND IM A SURVIOR OF TODAYS SOCIETY. WHERE WHEN MY FAMILY CAME TO THIS COUNTRY BACK IN THE LATE 40'S.MY FAMILY WERE MADE FUN IF AND TRUELY ABUSED BY AMERICAN PEOPLE WHO BACK THEN WERE "GOOD PEOPLE".BUT THEN AS AN ADULT.I HAVE BEEN ABUSED AND TORTURED BY TWO GENERATIONS OF AMERICAN "GOOD PEOPLE" PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY "RAPED" SPIRITUALLY TOO. THANK YOU AND GODBLESS. AS GOD IS MY STRENGTH.AMEN
There is no such thing as breaking the cycle. This evil recurs the next generation when people think of others as possessions. I have believe the lie of breaking the cycle thru 3 generations and protection requires constant vigilance to protect the vulnerable. It never ends.
I'm 62 and several months ago had an anxiety driven breakdown. I found a therapist and we determined I have been suffering from CPTSD from childhood trauma which continued into relationships and addictions. She (therapist) has been working with me with the EMDR technique and I cannot express how this therapy is fundamentally changing me for the better. I just wanted to share for those who are suffering, esp mentally, from abuse - which comes in many forms. Therapy and EMDR. Much love to you, all my brothers and sisters. YOU ARE F^&*ING AWESOME!!!
I tried EMDR from my military PTSD but it didn’t work. I was referred to another Dr which would be my 6th therapist. I just went back journaling and working out bc restarting with another is exhausting
I found EMDR , hypnosis any other therapy and antidepressants useless and harmful The only thing that helps me is talking to other survivors I'm happy for anyone though who finds western medicine helpful
@@ladyt9000 Hi lady. I can't imagine how exhausting it must be to have to go through numerous therapists. You are worthy of happiness and a 'good' life, understanding that 'good' is subjective. I sincerely hope you find some relief.
You’re killinit with the plain community stories! Having rescued myself from that community 20 years ago, I still can’t get enough of these stories, even though being horrified, and at times triggered by them. Thank you so much for covering this.
@@misterdiffiCULT1 It's really helpful to confront your own memories and emotions, and kinda inspect them from different angles, as they are being retrieved by listening to similar stories. Especially in a safe environment, such as the one the interviewer provides. She's very skilled and empathetic. It is so helpful to hear how other people process things, and recognise similarities in that experience. Eventually perhaps this need subsides, when most of it has been processed. No need to rush it :)
Memory loss is very common in victims of abuse.. they found that emotional and psychological abuse actually causes brain damage... your bain will also lock away memories it can not handle as a self defense
That must be why I can't remember the name of the guy who kidnapped me when I was 22. He didn't expect me to live; I got away. I went to the police, who knew him and protected him. When I see cold cases of missing/deceased women my size, hair color, I can relay his description and car to the authorities, but can't remember his name.
Growing up with a narcissistic parent led me to one narcissisticly abusive relationship after another. So I know exactly what you meant when you said you finally found love that is safe. It took me 35 years to find and five more to really understand. Congratulations ❤❤❤It's HUGE.
Because they claim the title civilized, it is their blind spot. Others are the barabic/you name it/monsters/uncivilized. Humans do it all the time. Our religion is the correct one. Our culture is the better one. My view is the correct one. Our knowledge is better. Etc. And there might be some truths to some claims. It is all interlinked in the history of civilization, and the cradle of civilization and its evolution.
These same "civilized" countries are now teaching college students that children can consent to sxx. The UN wants it's members to eliminate age of consent laws. There is a big political push to sexualize children and normalize and legalize p3d0philia. This channel is so important because it allows the trauma that child sa causes to be seen.
I agree with you totally! I especially get pissed off at these so-called “Christian” communities or churches that excuse this type of aberrant behavior when their leaders are guilty of same behavior. It’s permissable for certain people to abuse others. (Both verbally & physically.) As long as that person is a leader.
I can relate to Meg's story so much! I grew up as a JW, so our life was very "wordly" in comparison. But. There are so many similarities, though. I, too, was the first born and felt like everything was my fault. My Dad actually told me I ruined their marriage because I was born two weeks after their first anniversary and was "too needy." But my Dad grew up in a VERY violent home, and that explained a lot about who he was. In comparison, our beatings were nothing. As an adult, I think that my parents did the best they could. And they became JW to try and give us a good family life. It did the exact opposite and only entrenched the abuse and dysfunction even more. I hope this lovely woman is able to find more healing!
Sure, anything can always be worse. However, your a*buse is the worst a*buse because it is *your* experience, not someone else’s. Please don’t ever minimize your experiences by comparing. You suffered as a result and your suffering is just as valid, just as worthy of compassion, understanding and confirmation as any other human being.
This has been I think the most powerful interview I’ve watched so far. Absolutely beautiful, thoughtful, and respectful convo. I’m so glad Meg got the opportunity to really share the full depth of her story
I so enjoyed hearing her speak again. I loved how you, Shelise, gave her a new word to describe her feeling. She used the word "freeze" several times after that.
Living a life of color! I grew up Beachy Amish Mennonite in a structured but mostly good family. My Dad was not abusive but was very strict about our clothes and our hair. Coming from the Amish, my parents experienced the new birth, and were ridiculed for being spiritual. So they left for the Beachy church. Even though there was teaching on the Bible, there were religious rules, because that's the way we always did it! Your story is heart wrenching and I pray you can continue to heal! Keep telling your story, we must not shut up! May Jesus comfort you as you reach for Him to guide you!
What an incredible interview!! Thank you both!! Precious smile as she lights up explaining how she loves her life!! So inspiring to me!! I'm 77 and out from an abusive cult leader for 10 years now. God bless you, Shalise!!
Amazing to hear about your self-awareness when you noticed that you were snapping at your daughter, and how you explained to her that it was not her fault. ❤ I've made it a point to do this with my partner and my son. #AlwaysLearningAlwaysGrowing
Wasn’t Amish but I experienced a lot of the same. Dad and stop mom fought a lot. Had a lot taken out on me by her and sometimes my dad. My mom had horrible taste in men unfortunately a lot of them were abusive to her and I saw one throw her also. I thought he killed her so I somehow flipped out and hit him with a vacuum when he was sitting at the table. Knocked him out long enough for mom to come around and us to get out of there. That’s just scratching the surface. Anyway hugs to you, you will ease the guilt feeling eventually. Trust me, I was the oldest and tried to protect the littles too. ❤
“Listen Linda: you can’t break my soul” is probably the linda listen that has resounded with me most. thank you, Meg, for sharing your story. you are an incredible mother and your children will be so grateful for the work you put into yourself because it directly affects them in every way. thank you
What is this “Listen, Linda” thing? It reminds me of the sayings like ‘Don’t be a Debbie Downer’ or a ‘Complaining Karen’. It seems demeaning & name shaming, doesn’t it? Linda actually means ‘Beautiful’ & ‘Pretty’ in different languages…. Is the podcast producer named Linda perhaps?
@@lindaed3594 hi, sorry i’m kinda late! she explains it a little in her videos, but a couple years ago a kid went viral for saying “listen linda!” super sassy when talking to his mom. shelisse uses it at the end of her videos as a way for these speakers to give a bit of advice or a sassy statement to somebody. if you youtube search “listen linda” you’ll probably get some videos poppin up of the kid 😊 i hope that helped explained it! nothing to do with the name it’s connected to, it was just his mom’s name!
My god. I am 43 years old. I’ve read countless books about cults and the abuse perpetrated within them. Until I started watching this Amish series, I had thought the Children of God was the most abusive and repugnant. I had no clue about what was going on with the Amish or Mennonites. This needs to stop now. Someone needs to do something- but who and what?
There are organizations such as A Better Way and Never Stand Alone USA, helping victims of abuse and having events with speakers to try to educate and prevent more abuse. There are symposiums under Anabaptists where they teach and train pastors or anyone about abuse, how to report, etc.. its a small beginning.
Broadly, we need to take a very critical look at communities that use Religious Freedom as a mask for abuse. It should *not* be used as a blanket entitlement for all acts. So - Who we vote for matters!!! Look into people running things in your community and make sure they aren't abusers masking as upright leaders.
@@phantomvampyressshadowkiss4690 is that the girl that goes by justPearlyThings? I’ve only heard of her due to a creator I watch commenting about her occasionally.
@@advocacynaccountablity often times I am very jaded when it comes to community leaders, but we do have more impact in local government than federal, and it’s a start.
Oldest sibling guilt is super insidious. It's almost like survivor guilt when you're able to get out sooner. For me the police were trying to convince me to press charges but I knew my siblings would end up with the other parent who in many ways was worse but not as prosecutable. I was 18 and the police said I could get custody of them if I would just press charges. And I knew it was bullshit. I was homeless as of that day and leaving the situation. Worked part time minimum wage. Yeah sure the courts will give me custody.
@@nussknacker9827 thank you for the kind words. My siblings all left home and are adults now. One got legally adopted by another family as an adult. I didn't know that was a thing, but he did it!
I hate it when they question someone and they ask them … DID YOU SAY NO! What does that say ? If they are under age for consent, you don’t need to to consent. That adult needs to control themselves and should have the better judgement. GUILTY😊
I had similar experiences and think the abuse started when I was at a family reunion as a toddler. I was too young to be blamed and it retraumatized me when I was in the same settings. I blocked a lot out of my conscious memory. When I reported it and tried to get away they trashed my reputation and denied the abuse happened.
The counselor that suggested a reconnect with a man not working on getting better was popular in the 80's. I had one try to force me to see my parents as loving and doing their best. I almost broke the arms of the rocker because I was gripping it so hard. I said no they do not because they don't know how. I quit going to him because I found it just another form of abuse. I so glad that she has found love and joy in her life. Thank you both.
That advice is really only acceptable in very specific circumstances. In other situations (when parents are so bad that they never should have had children at all) the same advice is just wrong. Totally wrong. Obviously.
that's so disgusting, I'm glad you were able to recognize it and not be victimized again 😔 even if that was true, if abusive parents love us and did their best, we get to decide if that isn't good enough and if they don't deserve us.
I watched The Sins of the Amish and the segments with Anna, Meg and their mom were some of the most personally affecting. I was especially touched by their mom. I relate to her struggle to be in touch with herself and be true to herself despite the social forces that have shut her down in the past. I found myself rooting for her, mentally encouraging her to set down the false self society life laid on her. In short I wish the best for all of you but especially your mom to heal. To Train Up A Child entered my life when I was trying to be someone who had no emotions and just obeyed my husband and this and the “child training” of breaking the will hurt me and my family so much. I am on a similarly life long journey of recovery. Thank you all for sharing your story.
Shelise, you are absolutely killing it with all of these videos! To Meg and all of the other incredible people who have shared their stories - thank you! I know it can't be easy, but you are breaking through the silence and very likely saving lives in the process. ❤
And she is doing it such a kind, nice and emphatic way. We can see the guests feel comfortable while talking to her (although they all had horrific experiences).Love you Shelise , Jonathan and the guests…i wish we had the power to take their pain away
The work Shelise is doing is sooo incredibly important, and it’s also so hard to hold space in the way she does. I’m grateful to see recognition of this important work! I was nervous going into the interview but Shelise so quickly put me at ease.
Victims of abuse have higher rates of things like Fibromyalgia; etc. Not just PTSD; etc. It's now being documented by the medical & psychology professionals.
I remember your family coming to visit us in Oregon. Your little sister was only a couple years old and you took such good care of her. If only I could go back in time and protect that little girl from everything that would happen to her! 💔
It's really difficult to spot what's a cultural differences and what's actually abusive, especially when you know US CPS have been a bad environment too
Thank you for airing these stories. Especially women's stories, because so much out there is from the mens point of view. I want to hear from both sides. Especially since every time the women's point of view is very different.
This woman is a pure Angel for real. Wanting to save her brothers an sisters before herself. She is a protector. Very strong. How powerful is this woman. I could listen for hours.
I’ve spent most of my 72 years trying to understand the abuse I suffered. My advice to others is to be kind to yourself around the issue of inability to protect your siblings. Believe me, attempting to do so makes your own abuse and their abuse much, much worse. Family abusers see us as property; we have no value as sentient beings. At some point their own abuse they identified with the power of their abuser and have little in way of moral qualms.
I am so sorry for the abuse you have suffered but remember your abuser (s) never get to feel self respect, true love, intimacy, or any of the true measures of a good life. They are the “lesser than” person.
I too tried to use the ‘I’m one of the boys.’ Technique to try to keep myself safe from my predators. Sadly it didn’t work and I was accused of being a tramp, just like my mom. Cults to Consciousness is really helping me to identify and understand what happened to me as a child. At 65 I’m just shocked at how much I buried deep down. I knew it was bad, but I couldn’t articulate what “bad” was. I know this is hard for you to tell your story, but I thank you so much for your bravery. Much aloha to you and everyone at this show.❤❤❤❤❤
Oh man, this one hit me hard... because I also very much felt guilt about my siblings abuse as the eldest. Different cult (Mormonism) but a lot of the same feelings and responses. I am so happy for Meg and the life that she has built! As always, Shelise, we'll done.
I was beaten a lot as a kid, but I swore, that I would never hurt another human being, when I grew up. Me and the wife just celebrated our 28th, and we are still a happy, loving couple. I am going to hug her now, we will go out and tak a stroll in our little park across the street. 🙂👍❤️ Sending love your way, Meg, and everybody else, who have suffered abuse.
This was a very hard listen, and it was very evident what a challenging interview this was for both Meg and Shelise. There was so much tension in moments, particularly when Meg spoke about the cost of sharing vs. silence. I appreciate both of you being willing to make this story available to those who will benefit from the stories and hopefully feel empowered. Meg does not owe her story to anyone, but I thank you.
I wish people would stop forcing forgiveness and reconnection with people who have harmed us....if we want to we will. If we don't then thats ok too. There's no shame in not forgiving. Just let them go.
YEESSSSS! It’s nonsense, truly. If they want to hand out cheap grace and disavow their own feelings that’s fine. Leave the rest of us with common sense alone. It doesn’t make us “bitter, angry people,” it makes us true to ourselves and our lived experiences. Acceptance comes (sort of) eventually and can we please acknowledge that’s good enough?!
On the side of what they seem to believe as well, if someone is mean enough to not contact a kind, loving family without good cause for years and years... Why inflict that person back on their estranged loved ones? My grandfather shunned us for awhile after he got caught cheating and my grandmother divorced him. When he showed back up again it was just to inflict damage and find an excuse to shun us some more. My mom couldn't heal until years after he died and in a way, he made his death spiteful. My mother didn't deserve that abuse.
Forgiveness doesn't have to lead to reconciliation. I forgave ppl that really hurt me but never contacted them to tell them. It was about ME healing and not seeking any vengeance. In the case of abuse, it's not safe to reconcile in most cases but if you heal until you can forgive, it's a good thing.
As a former foster child, I have experienced the abuse personally! I can say that having so many kids and being frustrated leads to the abuse. You speak about gaslighting and how it is used against you. As a survivor I get really ticked at these gaslighting family members who when you offer forgiveness and want to continue, they make try to gaslight you about that so cutting them off is the only solution. Not with me anymore!
Unfortunately, you are correct. No Contact is the only insurance you have that you and your own family will not be subject to the same dynamics and you’re *not normalizing abnormal horrendous behavior and dynamics to your own children.* Best wishes to you, my friend. *There absolutely is life after abuse.* But first, you have to call the behavior what it is, not what anyone else tries to tell you it is. *No one has the right to tell you what your lived experience has been, ever.* If they are, know they’re trying to control you and those days are over, the end.
When you said "it was a point of pride to never whimper or flinch during my beatings" I so related to that, but then my Dad & Mom would try & find something else that did upset me like grounding or taking things away & always berating me. Our relationship really went into the toilet as I became an older teen & they never had a clue how they contributed to the damage that occurred within our family & our relationships to one another be it parent or sibling relationships. I was also very affected by witnessing what happened to my brother during certain episodes of punishment & berating him. I'm finally letting it go, but it takes a long time to get over the trauma.
Oh wow the part where Meg said her brother was being abused by her father so she ran upstairs and pushed over the heavy dresser making a distraction so the father would stop beating her brother and come after her. OMG that was something I have heard from some one very close to me as well. Oldest sibling of a huge bunch of kids being physically and emotionally abused by both parents. That person feeling the need to do something/anything to stop the abuse, even though they knew they would cop something even worse than the sibling they were trying to protect. IMO that takes a big heart and bravery beyond measure. Meg you did far more than most people would do in the same situation. You should feel good about what you did do to help not what you didn't do. You were a victim too, you were not their mother, just their sister.
I’m truly sorry that this happened to you. Please continue your journey in healing yourself. Live your best life and never stop telling your story, it helps many others.
Your story is heart wrenching. You are correct about everything changing when you tell your story. I have people in my family who won't speak to me. That is okay because telling my experience was gaining control over something I didn't have control over before. You are amazing for speaking out. Thank you.
Unbreakable??! Total respect! Not least for the strength to get your daughter to safety. I hope that you are able to recognize that you are not responsible for any of the harm to your siblings, and are able to accept that difficult truth.
The therapist suggesting reconnecting with Meg's dad makes my blood boil. This is why it is so important that we have trauma-trained therapists to help people in high control circumstances. The poor training of therapists with regard to this topic drives me up the wall.
Thank you for sharing, Meg. What you said is important for so many to hear. I find it nearly inconceivable that so many groups harbor such large collections of individuals who "don't know better" than to believe that they are "doing god's work" or are "being Biblical". The patterns of @busive behavior, gaslighting, and excuses are all the same sick patterns no matter the group. These sick roots go deep into the past history - and the predators do not want to change - they don't want to lose power and control. This is why @busive groups want to stay more cloistered from outside authorities and information.
1:17:00 yes! That's the parenting energy I carry too! Our children didn't ASK to be here! Also, we aren't raising q 3 year old, a 9 year old, a 15 year old. We are raising someone's wife/husband, student, employee, tenant, etc.
Meg, your light as a creator definitely shines through! For someone who was denied a lot of language growing up, you’re an incredibly eloquent speaker. Thank you for sharing your story and to Shelise for facilitating.
Thank you thank you, I’ve read so much of Brene Browns work and have had amazing therapists (one terrible one lol) who have helped equip me with more language for my experience, that is so empowering!
You make such a good point. It is refusing to be a victim that frees us to live our best life. If you live as a victim you never get to move on. Look at all the good Meg is doing. I have so much respect for her.
30:00 I did this too. The last time my mom beat me I was 17. I decided I was not going to give her the satisfaction of a reaction. With the Train up a Child doctrine, you have to keep hitting until the child 'breaks'. I didn't make a sound, kept my face blank, just didn't give her any indication that I cared at all. It must have lasted hours before she got tired and confined me to my room to 'pray for god to make you realize how terrible you are'.
I got to that point of pride also with my dad! “That doesn’t hurt.” Boy that riles them up. I started fighting back and sprained his ankle. I don’t think he put his hands on me again.
I cannot imagine having to deal with ur siblings being sa'ed i was molested for years and told my abuser not to touch my sister or i would either kill him or tell
Parenting is hard enough, I can't even wrap my brain around how difficult it would be for someone who has gone through such horrific abuse. I loved Meg’s use of the phrase “I get to” - it's so empowering!
I understand the guilt you feel. Your dad was a terrifying man and you felt helpless against him. Your heart was in the right place to want to help. I come from the old order Amish too. The trauma is hard to get past and live free from it. I wish I could meet you! I feel your heart like it’s my own.
"I get to decide who I am now" ❤ Meghan, I relate SO much to this quote! I have been shaped and formed by everyone around me my whole life while my true self was pushed down inside of me more and more... I am now free, discovering the parts of me that were suppressed and discovering the parts of me I _want_ to become as a human being and survivor! Bless you, both of you, for this interview. You have no idea how much it has meant to me and countless others! ❤
Just now realizing that I had been raised to put the man first. We were at a family gathering at my mother-in-law's house. I was fixing a plate for my husband and my mother-in-law asked me what I was doing. I told her I was fixing a plate for her son. She got mad and told me to " Put that away...if you are going to fix a plate for someone make it for the children. He's grown he can make his own d@mn plate." 😮😅
Meg, as a fellow 1st born girl, I fully understand the guilt you hold for your siblings because I’m the same towards my 1 sibling. I just want to remind you what my sibling always reminds me: carrying their burdens does not make me loved more or less. You are a wonderful big sister who did her best, despite all of your own trauma🥰🥰🥰also regardless what happened to your parents as kids, that doesn’t take away from the fact that they’re monsters for harming you & your siblings. Glad you’re out and safe!
I relate to this story so much. We weren't Amish but Catholic. My dad was evil. We would go to church but he would never go to confession or communion. He ruined our family's lives. Still is.
Dang! Where are you from? We have a huge Catholic community where I live which I grew up in and by my generation (I’m 34), it was casual Catholicism for sure.
The fact that you had an abusive Dad has nothing to do with being Catholic. There are evil people in every walk of life. Atheist families too. I feel bad for you and your Mom. It’s hard to go to the police because you’re afraid of the repercussions. My friend was married to a narcissistic abusive man. He didn’t attend any church. She divorced him and because he was a doctor he got away with everything. He hired people to beat her up when she would get gas for her car. She reported it to the police and they did nothing. She ended up having to move out of state.
Please don't minimize her story re Catholics, trust me alot of people in the Catholic community were abused due to that religion!! I am one of them and come from generational abuse due to that religion.@@sandrametcalfe7483
Ive lived around Amish. It's interesting that they seem outside the law. Never heard of or witnessed intervention from the outside world. How did they get a pass? The government is always bothering/monitoring me?!
They have had cases taken all the way to the Suprmee Court to protect their privacy, including involving their kids. As long as they don't go into the world, say a hospital, they're left alone under the guise of "freedom of religion."
I’ll say the freedom of religion amendment is the strongest Amendment in my opinion . You can use it to argue why your kids shouldn’t attend school (Wisconsin v Yoder) or why you shouldn’t be drafted into a war and many more……
I was just about to comment that the abuse towards animals and such from her dad reminded me of the warning signs of a killer in Criminal Minds and then she mentions watching it to try to understand more about things. I also use Criminal Minds to help understand my own experiences and trauma kinda like well I can't get the men who hurt me, but it's therapeutic to watch the team explain their behaviors and catch the "bad guy" EDIT: listen linda you cannot break my soul is such a powerful and meaning statement and i shall carry that one around in my little pocket of coping. Thank you to both of you
A doctor abused my infant in front of me and I froze. I was so upset with myself. My mom didn't believe it happened because why wouldn't I have done anything. I never heard anyone talk about the freeze response like you did. I hate that it happened and reported, but no one did anything. It happened this year and not in a cult. Victims need to be believed. Thank you for sharing. I hope you continue to heal as do your siblings.
We need groups opposing these groups regularly and picketing outside their areas. These children need to know they have people on the outside to help them. The people exploiting them for money need to be exposed.
In Germany every child is entitled to education exceeding what the armish and homeschooling get to neglect children with and 4th grade features some basic anatomy information alongside helplines and teacher and police offering to listen to "big problems" in person
Meg, you have an incredible recovery. You won; you didn't let them break you. You brought out the wonderful person that was you all along. I identified with a lot of your story. I'm so glad about your happy ending.
Roth here, my parents grew up amish, this is not just an amish problem, l see it in all church and non church settings, so... especially CATHOLICISM!!!!
Listening to you is like me talking. I'm 65 and still don't remember huge sections of my life. I've decided it's my brain protecting me from what i can't handle. It gets better, though. Humans have an incredible ability to forgive and heal. May God give you peace.
The therapist is awful The father doesn't deserve any forgiveness, he's evil. And he certainly doesn't deserve to be rewarded with love and Christmas He deserves to carry burden of all the bad things he has done He should be telling everyone what he truly is
I just want to reach out and give her a big hug and let her know she is not alone. Yes, it is difficult if you don’t talk about it and difficult if you do. However, if you DO it will eventually help you heal, the abuse hopefully stops and you save others from the same fate. I’m not religious and never have been but I am a victim. Took YEARS to come forward but since doing so I’ve begun to heal. Meg - you are an amazingly strong woman and nothing is your fault. I hope that you can see that some day and continue to heal.
I've realized it's forgiveness that I want my r*pists to change instead of wanting them to hurt too. I still feel angry sometimes when I think about what they did, but that's just a temporary emotion. Deep down, I just want them to never hurt anyone else like that.
“Forgiveness” is highly over rated and highly distorted. Where are we called upon to forgive evil? We’re not, my friend. Take care, love your screen name, bet your kitty or kitties are beautiful!
The animal abuse part hurt my soul. 😔 I have Amish heritage but I wasn't raised that way, but there was rampant animal abuse on my grandparents' farm (they weren't raised Amish either but they were just a generation or two removed from it). I was lucky enough to never have to see anything but now that I'm an adult I'm so bitter and angry about it. And what's worse is that I have a really hard time talking about it because I don't know that anyone in the community will believe me.
I had to fast forward the animal abuse part. My heart couldn't take it . The hurt she must have felt for the innocent animals was too much. I am so glad she escaped that life. As horrific as it was, she has become a kind insightful beautiful woman. 💕
I mean, somehow it’s ok for a lot of them to run puppy mills. Imagine what happens in those! I can’t even begin to think about it. Ugh! And it’s even worse because of how popular poodle mutts have become.
I live around Amish all my life and never once seen any animal abuse or puppy mills. Not all the Amish do the same things and personally, the Amish I know shouldn't be judge by the actions of people that are probably 100 miles and they never meet. Let's blame the individuals for their actions and not an entire group of people.
I attended a church that loved Bill Gothard and we went to his conventions several times. Now I know better. Love your channel and real stories. Always here at the end.
Thank you for giving voice to those of us without one. It helps me heal each time I hear another person who has lived through "stuff". Keep talking Sister. Keep healing yourself.
It is sad that the choice speaking out or not speaking out about it is this heavy. My advice still is: Be truthful, honest and true to yourself. Love yourself in a healthy way. You are the only one that was actually with you while you were being born, and the only one who will be with you (guaranteed) when you die. These are given facts. My coming out as gay was part of the family rip. So should I have stayed in the closet? Knowing it would get me kicked out, and have consequences. Why I also wanted to be sure, before doing so. How do you know if you grow up with a taboo on gender and sexual diversity? Always having secrets, taboo's, not being able to speak your mind and relief your heart? Secrets rot the soul, it undermines trust and even loyalty.
I can't stream Sins of the Amish. So I'm very appreciative to get to hear these stories. Thank you for giving them a louder voice. It helps people to know they aren't alone, & you can come forward.
I can't believe that "therapist" that tried to force her to reconcile with her father. Rapists and abusers can't be reformed! Once they offend there's no hope. Instead, I agree with the definition of forgiveness that means to release the hold that person has over you; that is something that can absolutely be done from a safe distance. The contrast with my current church and what these cults do is huge. We do believe in monogamy and marital fidelity BUT when our pastor gave the sermon on that commandment last week, he was VERY VERY clear that if you are in an abuse situation, you need to GET OUT. Basically he said that it sucks that the world is that way but in that case divorce is the only safe solution.
To see how this woman glows with life and love and indomitable spirit, she is a beacon of hope for so many going through the horrors that she has faced, and overcome and healed.
