💯🎯 I can’t stand uptight people. Plus carefree, goofy, adorkable people are my favorite. The so called “cool” people (who are actually just judgmental people) are the real try hards and most people can see right through it. Genuinely cool/ confident people don’t go around bursting other peoples bubbles.
The biggest ick for me is when I realize they don't care about me. There have been a couple guys I dated and known I was CRAZY about. It's hard to explain but once I realize they don't really care about me or my feelings, it doesn't matter how much I liked them, it's like flipping a switch and everything I felt for them is dead.
Yes. That is always such a disappointing and sad feeling when you thought someone cared, but then over time, when you observe what they are doing and saying (especially the actions or non actions) you realize they can't possibly care or they would do things differently. Not to side step that people value different things and that we all have our own ways of expressing caring and it is important to keep that in mind. But, you want to know that someone cares about your best interested and that their intentions are genuine towards you and there is a value for what you feel and think, even if it is different than theirs.....good on you for being confident to recognize it and walking away instead of beating a dead horse.....
If you can't date someone because they put their hands up in the air on a roller coaster... You are the problem not your date. Enjoy life and if you can't be with someone that enjoys life... REALLY?! Really?!
So there was a guy... went on a couple of dates and then we mutually stopped dating. He was super fit. Then after a year we were both single and went on another date. I asked what made him walk away. He said... you were too happy and excited. So I said what's made you see me again. He said... because I was with the most depressing person ever who brought me down and I realised I should have given you a chance.... and immediately... I got the ick. Its like hearing his ick gave me the ick... the ick cycle was complete
Once you have been through the ultimate betrayal from your partner or spouse, adultery and lying, all these other nonsense annoyances sound very foolish and childish.
Another reason I appreciate this video is that it made me realize that we should all just do what we feel is right! People can have ridiculous icks and there's nothing we can do about it, except say thank you, next!
Exactly. Icks are weird little things. It's a visceral reaction, not like only wanting to be with someone who doesn't drink much. That would be a major thing, not comparable with an ick at all
These people saying these turn offs are very superficial. Holding your hands up on a roller coaster? 😂 Standing in a line? Learn patience. 😂 Too nice? 🙄 There’s a difference between too nice and being people pleasing or co dependent. Manners, character, values, being open minded, laughing, connecting with your authentic self, these are all important and more.
AGREED! And if these people ever wonder why they're single?????????? Be HAPPY your bloody man SHOWERS!... Be HAPPY your partner even goes on a rollercoaster! Good lord.
I was talking to a guy on the phone, he was washing his car at that moment and he asked me "What is the best method to get rid of those oily stains?" And I said: "I don't know, I'm not good at it" And then he got so irritated and said: "But you are a woman! You have to know these things!" (meaning I have to know everything about cleaning) ... I had to lie that my grandma was calling. I'd never wanted to end a call so quickly in my life. I think it's the biggest turnoff I have had in my life so far.
When boyfriend deliberately passes wind &/or burps freely, loudly, repeatedly as if it's an achievement, then makes a ridiculous comment about it being better out than in-- it's utterly crude, ill-bred & unpleasant.
I think it also may be a defense mechanism to stop people from getting hurt. If we nit pick the crap out of someone, and hold them to impossible standards of perfection, we will never get hurt because we're always searching for something closer to perfection. In our head, we have an idea of what that looks like, but I guarantee if someone exhibited those qualities, we would find something else wrong with them. I like what they said about vulnerability and how a lot of these moments are candid glimpses of people being vulnerable, and we don't like it because maybe we too are insecure and afraid of being vulnerable?
I can agree. The Ick sounds like Cluster B behavior. Avoidant types. Looking for any reason to get out before they get to close and get hurt. Only looking for perfection. The "ick" screams Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder.
I think the ick factor is really just that feeling of knowing that that person doesn’t do it for you. I’ve gotten that feeling with guys for many different reasons but bottom line it just didn’t feel right with them. I think deep down we know.
1:25 1) Putting hands up in a rollercoaster 3:37 2) Jumping weird on a trampoline 4:32 3) Standing in a long line 5:38 4) Sitting cross legged 7:17 5) Having studied business 7:51 6) Being too nice 8:07 7) Eating pork 8:42 8) Girls who can't drive a manual car 8:45 9) Denim jackets with wooly collars 8:57 10) Partner showering looking pathetic
I told my first boyfriend i wanted to study IR when i went to University. He said up til that point he was attracted to me but then when I said i wanted to studiy IR it was a big turn off, because it just showed I had no passion, drive, creativity and I was just plain old boring. It was too broad, I was lost, no true sense of self, and a cop out and a bullshit degree. He thought I was better then that and was aming too low and that disappointed him and thus turm him off. He said why don't you study something useful like Business, instead. So it made me laugh when they said business. In hince sight, he was very very superficial and a bit of an ass, so maybe they have something...lol!
Are these really turn offs ?? Yes -Non veg eating habits could be a turn off for veg people. Other than that nothing from this list seems off to me. And if one were to ask me , what turns me off is show off ,dishonest and creepy behaviour. And what ticks is modesty and candidness! I remember having a conversation with a guy (first online chat) and I asked how are you. Whats going on. He said he was having tea and that he loves it . And then he kept talking about tea for 5-10 minutes which bored me. To cut it short, I said I don't like tea that much to which he said I could taste him and then I would like it. I said " he he" and then blocked him for keeps!
4 minutes in and I’m clicking off. If I was on a rollercoaster or trampoline with a dude, and he was genuinely having such a good time that he let his guard down enough to show me his silly side, I’d seriously consider marrying that guy. But maybe that’s because I’m a bit of a goofball myself.. 🤗
One man's meat is another's poison. Our ability to embrace others funny quirks and differences speaks volumes on how secure, confident, capable, empathetic and self loving we are in ourselves to allow and accept others flying their freak flags now and then. Good comm skills and boundaries are often lacking in these situations. Whatever triggers, disgusts, turns us off or upsets us about others often reflects what's unhealed in ourselves or it could be we've healed those things and are frustrated and annoyed by another's inability to change to level up or mature in those areas. Then there's the obvious such as hypocrisy, pathological lying, cheating, stealing, copying, overdoing things like gross swearing, yelling, emotional instability, perving, stalking, touchyfeely lustfull sleases, talking nonstop too fast and loud, pressure to entertain or perform, labels, comparisons, gaslighting, triangulation, devaluing, undermining, boundary crossing, carelessness, lack of empathy, selfishness, cruel and sadistic behaviours, silent treatment, lack of goals or purpose, childishly self-seeking and immature behaviours, coerciveness, manipulation, lack of depth, poor hygiene and grooming, low vibe energy and habits, talking badly of exes and family excessively, no sense of humour or making everything a joke, jokes or sarcasm at other's expense, trying too hard to impress, pushy, talking about themselves too much, don't listen, don't care or show real remorse for their actions or inactions that hurt others, can't love, have no faith, constant facade mgt., easily swayed to change for others rather than stay true to themselves, wishy washy, needy, suffocating, undermining, inconsistent, disloyal and indecisive, unreliable, double standards, value appearances over depth, put ppl on pedestals only to replace them or see them fall, can't commit or prioritise, control freaks who act entitled and think they own you, negative victim mindsets, can't share, give credit, show gratitude or validate others without a hidden agenda, talk themselves up and others down, constantly picking fights and creating drama, crocodile tears and pity ploys, seeking emotional reactions from others, interupting others train of thought, time and energy wasters, poor posture and unhealthy habits, greed, pride, lack of enthusiasm for life, too rigid and uncompromising, procrastinators, evil, envious, cold-hearted, creepy, unable to change for the better or allow for others needs for space, time and change, can't see multi-perspective or go with the flow, constantly expressing petty aversions about others, bullying, cowardly harmful behaviours, etc., I could go on but it's making me feel 🤢🤮🤯🤦♀️ Thanks for inspiring Matt and co. you could go way deeper on this one, it's an interesting topic, thanks for sharing. 💐💝🤙
Oh dear, I see a lot that applies to my previous icky guy. He takes good care of his appearance, plays up his natural good looks, smells of a nice amber perfume…. But the dude won’t commit, won’t be clear and honest, will use a calm voice to admonish and dispense lessons (“You have to understand that……”), will complain about 3 different things during a long hug, “jokes”, and is not simply prioritizing himself but effectively making no room for anybody who doesn’t fit into his Instagram life. NEXT.
I really love how Matthew took it to another level to point out that the ick is just possibly a symptom of something else going on. Something someone is relating to something from their past. Could be subconscious. Digging a little deeper might reveal what it REALLY is about and then change can happen. I can't relate to any of the icks they listed in this discission, but I am sure we all have some superficial ones that maybe we don't like to admit, even to ourselves, cause we know they are not right. I have had some things in my youth that were icks that I was unhappy I had. It bothered me that it bothered me....I like the idea of delving in to figure out what really is at the heart of it so it can be resolved...or dissolved....Great discussion by all. Thanks guys.
Honestly, most of these sound like deactivating strategies as described in attachment theory; often (& mostly) used by dismissive avoidants to find reasons to push away their partner (aka create distance). This usually shows up as nit picking their partner like the way they chew or any small thing really, but it’s really a way to avoid intimacy. All that to say, if you dive into attachment styles you’ll learn why the DA is that way, and it’s not because they are bad/mean/shallow. They simply learned as a young child that they couldn’t rely on others to meet their needs, that vulnerability & intimacy is scary, so all these behaviors we see are truly just coping mechanisms to keep themselves safe. But any insecure attachment style can be healed, and that’s the wonderful part. ❤️
I agree to a point…. I have done and do these things but I am avoiding intimacy with that particular person, not all people. Sometimes things just feel off and I think it’s that inner knowing that the vibe is off and they aren’t a good fit. When I have done or felt these things it’s never just over one behavior or feeling.
There's a real visceral full-body feeling in the "ick" reaction tho, when it's a sign that someone is so not right for you, whereas the nitpicking and perfectionism of deactivating strategies is more of a head thing i think. I've certainly done & felt both. The "ick" is more like an instinctive alarm signal to run, whereas the deactivating strategy is more of an internal 'putting-up-walls' thing. I think the "ick" really draws a line under a relationship, it kills it dead on the spot, whereas the 'walls' could come down if the relationship was worth saving and the person were to do their own inner work on it. Thanks for sharing. :)
I agree, and this makes it hard for me to decipher whether I can trust what I am feeling. Am I feeling repulsed because I genuinely do not like this person and it's my intuition telling me to flee, or because I am so deeply afraid of real intimacy and vulnerability and am finding everything wrong with a person to push them away?
This is very simple, someone got on a relation with someone they found kinda distasteful but told themselves it was ok. Then a sudden repulsive moment just triggers the Don’t bullshit yourself and you raw just find him/her distasteful.
Speaking about messy cars, I was turned off by the sluggish way he removed the empty cans to make room for me to sit in the passenger seat. Altough it was not the mess itself, just his slow movements. He should have just swiped it off!😂
I find it interesting that 2 of the first 3, trampoline and roller coaster, are situations where they got the 'ick' from the guy feeling overly comfortable and relaxed around them. Letting his guard down for a momoent and being goofy with someone they feel secure with. So I'm always suppose to be too cool for school or I'm a turn-off?
@@a.stewart2641 yeah y’all are in the minority today tho. It’s why it’s gotten out of hand. Honestly vibes and emotions don’t hold a relationship together. IMHO ladies today look for vibes way too much and the feeling they get. I’m glad I’m the opposite. The person you are makes me grow for someone. It’s why most of the people today are just not my type of people
I went on a first date with a guy & it was great I had no conplaints & felt really excited. When he picked me up for our second date I immediately got the ick & knew there would not be a third date before the second one even started. It was extremely sudden & very odd
Recently broke up with someone for several icks, mostly hygiene related 1. borderline hoarder...ick 2. Always wanted a foot rub after wearing socks and shoes all day...ick told him to wash his feet first 3. Thought it was ok to wear the same socks two or three days in a row which means he wasn't showering every day either. 4. Very cheap, got a cup for water regularly at a restaurant and got soda instead. There's so much more with this man that turned me off. Good thing I broke it off.
Yes. Hygiene is an ick. And not just for the biology of it. There is a personality that goes hand in hand with that. To me, it indicates someone who doesn't have proper self care. I immediately think there are emotional problems.
Could you do a video on what it means to be "too nice" / people pleasing, and how we can change that? I want to be more assertive, but when I try it usually feels like either aggression or indifference.
I think being too nice may suggest that they care about their behaviour so much that they're less confident and they need appreciation from their date which is not good if we want someone with confidence,the reason people could be a pleaser that I believe is the family issue,like chatic childhood with not happy or easy caregivers if you wanna be more assertive please remember that your opinions value and it is actually easy to be not agree with sth without making the others judging you cause afterall it's an opinion about sth not towards a whole person
@@juliettailor1616 hope we can always be the pleaser of ourselves and love ourselves so much that we can forgive ourselves instead of thinking that sth bad used to happen to us in our past was our fault
When he repeatedly fiddles with his "tackle" in public & when he's with me at home, regardless of where we are & what we are doing & even after I've politely asked him to go to the hallway, toilet etc where he can do it in private -- & especially when he plunges his hand inside his trousers front & scratches like mad, it's so loud, so long & so icky!
I really like this lady as part of the conversation, she seems to be quite insightful and I think brings a nice balance to Matthew and Stephen. I don't really quite understand all the "icks" mentioned in this video as they seem to be quite juvenile. I think my threshold for "icks" is much higher lol
I remember a male friend ditching a girl coz she drank vodka tonic. It was astounding... he said... you can't go to a pub lunch and she orders a vodka. It finished me off... but I get it. The ick is completely different from a red flag. The ick seems trivial because it is. But when you have the epiphany that you would be with this person every single day and have to endure their trampoline jumping for ever. The body recoils. Break ups don't only happen because of major events like betrayal... the most painful ones are the death by a hundred cuts of being completely irritated by something you witness on the daily. Don't ignore the ick
The girl was the most correct about the actual emotional feeling of the ick. It’s definitely a primitive feeling that is there to drive our desire for status bcus status makes survival easier
If you truly like or love the person, there will not be an ick that they can’t come back from. This is assuming you are honest enough to tell them and they care enough about you to change the ick. If there is an ick, you were probably not attracted to them very strongly in the first place.
my theory: if you actually care about someone, you are immune to the ick. the ick happens when you are idealizing someone in your head and they do something that breaks the illusion. the ick is always something nonsensical that you wouldn't really care about if you were really in love with the person. this is also why the ick happens to women more than men--we do a lot of personality idealizing in our heads.
When I look at Matthew and Audrey, I am convinced that they do not love each other anymore but need to make it work because Matthew announced his love publicly and this is his job. He is supposed to be an expert in love and relationship and therefore can't afford to fail.
@@dr.jenniferma3914 There is another video where they seemed to have just fought and had difficulty smiling or pretending to like each-other's company. My guess is that because Matthew declared his love rather publicly and proudly, she took it for granted and then their somehow "working together" perhaps created an incident where she dismissed/disrespected him. I don't really follow his work but I have watched a handful of his videos and he seemed very unhappy in the other video and this one, which is rather out of his character. It is obvious that he seems to believe that he isn't happy but can't end the relationship just yet. I see that his girlfriend in this video tries to reconnect with him but he isn't very receptive of it.
Huge turn off: When men use the term "cougar" in reference to a woman. Unless he's literally talking about the animal, that term should never be used. It sounds really creepy.
I learned to be careful how I judge a person in a season in their life. Depression can take you places it's hard to come back from. You may end up there yourself, when you end up being the icky person. I fell so far I became everything I despised. I felt like a piece of sh*t. I ended up hating my very existence. GOD sees everything you do. That was my karma. I had to remind myself that I have done good in my life with a pure heart. So I'm not a complete piece of sh*t. I've made a difference in small ways. So be kind to others, see deeper then the surface, love and pray for them, even the ones putting you thru hell. GOD sees the good and bad. What you sow you reap this is always true. People won't forgive you even if you ask, plead, beg, and pour your soul out to them. They won't even acknowledge you, when you want to clear up misunderstandings. They only want you, when they can get something from you, when you are of use to them. When you need them they will be like smoke. You will watch them all fade away. When your trying to come back from being the icky person. Remember JESUS died for you. HE is truly the only one that matters in the very end. HE willingly gave HIS very life for yours so that alone makes your life worth more the all the fortune in this world.
I didn't experience an "ick" factor with my last relationship (unless you count moving too fast), so much as red and yellow flags that would pop up here and there throughout the relationship that I would puzzle over. Like, ok: He was a licensed carpenter, right? We had been seeing each other for a week or two and I was at his house for the first time, and he showed me his bed, which he was very proud of. He had made it with his own two hands: It was a loft style bed, and the box part was on hinges so you could lift it up like a lid and tada! Storage compartment underneath! . . . . . . There was no ladder. Again, licensed carpenter. Built a loft style bed. With no ladder. He said he was using that as an excuse to do pull ups, and he would just help me in and out of it, but I'm over here in my head like, "Yeah, but what if I have to pee in the middle of the night. Now I have to wake you up?" The best he ever did was his neighbor gave him a painter's ladder.
😂 I have things too that irk me! One of my ex’s would clasp his hands and bring them to his mouth after taking a bite of food. It came off very feminine to me and I am not into that in my men. I never said anything about it, I figured that’s just him… when he would talk about things he always seemed annoyed or bothered, like he was so busy and the only one capable of taking care of things correctly….and he also had this way he moved when he walked, twisted his waist, slouched over…. I know it’s sounds ridiculous 😂 I clearly wasn’t that into him.
If we were in a world where we lived to be hundreds of years old I would say to spend a majority of your time on introspection before rushing in to dating anyone. We end up hurting so many others because we want them to take on our trauma, and heal us when that should be something you tackle on your own. Then you can approach someone else ready to share all the ups and downs of a relationship without being so easily stumbled. From very early on we are aware that our lives are finite, so we are in a rush to achieve so much that we are never able to. By the time we reach a point of accepting that each person has their own way of doing things we are past the point of being viable to others because of our obsession with youth.
I think all of these ick factors are connected to a different underlying issue, which is what Matt was trying to decipher. For instance, he sits cross-legged = he is not professional in his demeanor or "men aren't suppose to cross their legs when they sit". It all boils down to personal belief around the action they feel icky about. The shower example - I'd agree with Audrey - it's probably related to an underlying dissatisfaction with this person in some way prior to him hopping in the shower unless this person really does have a very unique and unappealing way of taking a shower and I wouldn't cross that out as an option.
"Cross legged" -- it's unattractive in a man when his legs are crossed the way a woman does it, with one thigh on top of the other. Matt is sitting with his one leg in a triangle over the other, which is normal and fine.
@@jfamily6037 The way Stephen is sitting is 'cross-legged', i.e. the yoga pose, and the one-thigh-over-the-other is with 'legs crossed'. That's how it's referred to where i'm from anyway (not the US). As with all of these icks, i think if you really like the person then you'll find them sexy however they sit, and if there's something not right in the relationship then something little like how they sit will come out as an 'ick' and basically put an end to the relationship. Thank goodness for the icks - they are like the canary in the coalmine of dating... It's the sign you cannot ignore - or you do so at your peril.
real icks: dismissive behavior, lack of trying, lack of Intelligence, lying, lack of response...but that's just me ps. I don't like how you overlooked Audrie's points as they resonated with me as a woman
Same. I often felt like Audrey's responses weren't received with real attention even though her points were very legit imo. Interestingly sometimes I feel like he's having a certain superiority in his behavior when he's with her. Maybe it's the "age difference superiority" or he's trying to dominate and show he's the alpha male, I don't know... Sometimes it doesn't feel good to watch the dynamic he creates with her even though I like Matthew normally.
Well there is a fine line between living your authentic self / being secure and being an arrogant jerk that rejects constructive criticism. Unfortunately in our society today we are seeing more and more of the latter.
I’m taken for 6 years now but a big turn off after a date would be ghosting after the person after - whether the date went well or not, communicate that in a respectful way! No communication at all is far more disrespectful for not being honest at all. At the end of the day, it all depends but if the person was nice and the date was bad lol no communication or honesty hurts the most. Let’s all have respect for one another and communicate either way, even if we didn’t like the date to break ties with the person the right way. Wouldn’t we want the same respect? ❤️🩹
How can ghosting be a turn off... I mean ghosting is them ending the relationships with you. It's a bit weird to say you breaking up with me is such a turn off : )
The REAL ick here is that all those people are unable to take their partners as they are or like to be. That sort of mindset will never change, it will only get worse the longer a relationship lasts until the small icks inevitably turn into big disgust and hatred. Whoever is unable to find enough love in himself to (if not love then at least) overlook or endure a partners little quirks will have a hard time EVER finding real love because - guess what - every single human has got plenty of quirks and they are part of his or her character.
I think that there is an experience where something that usually turns you off, but suddenly doesn't give you the same effect it has had in the past. But, if the relationship erodes, the troubling behaviour becomes unappealing again.
I enjoyed this discussion quite a bit. Wonderful analysis’ regarding human behavior. This was a perfect example of why it is important to develop strong self awareness on an emotional/psychological level.
Had a boyfriend, after we'd been dating for a while, who invited me to his place, we became hot'nheavy, he threw back his doona for us to get into bed... & there was his bottom sheet all stained & manky with loads of "circles" & "swipes" stains - danged revolting!!! Totally killed the mood, he's now an ex
I enjoyed the video a lot it was funny but I didn’t enjoy Matthews short patience with Steven . Matthew seemed a bit rude with him and what he had to say . Be kind to Steven . We love him !
Agree. And he talked over the woman (who was not introduced, named or credited in the video in any way). He came across a bit over-bearing & arrogant in this video i have to say. I usually enjoy the banter between them but i found him a bit obnoxious in this one. Like he had to make sure everyone knows he's The Expert... I wonder if he felt threatened by having TWO smart people in the room with him this time. 🤷🏻♀ I enjoyed there being multiple perspectives, and they all had great insights. It's a conversation not a competition Matt..!
That sucks that these people suffer from this it's a big huge loss. Because if you cannot see who your partner is for them physically aswell. It's a sad life. Glad this information is out here. They are ridiculous unreasonable.
Interesting. My Ick is someone whom drinks regularly. And I had never thought too deeply into it before. But I grew up living with my grandfather whom was an alcoholic. It controlled our whole family's lives from before I was born until he died when I was 20. While I am not against drinking, I sometimes do myself and love a glass of good red wine. I dont do it regularly. As in every weekend. Or everytime I go out. But men whom do. I ICK big time. And for an Aussie, where our culture seems to revolve around beer. Not great.
My mother always says “don’t get too comfortable” she says she waited 4 years until my dad saw her without makeup for the first time, she would wake up early to get ready and be beautiful for him and he, said he saw her a couple times anyway but never said anything because she was putting effort and he always appreciated that from her.
The fact that a majority of women needed to hear this.. says allot about how the toxic insecure men in society who are mostly effected by the “ick” have been acting so resentful towards women to sort of avoid the insecurities and aggressively protect their own feelings and display of venerability towards women from their primitive sort of ‘defense mechanism’ triggered behavior known as the “ick”. With that said, leaving someone you’ve chosen to commit to over a human venerability is a trend that seems like societal induced narcissism at it’s core. TikTok has been fueling this phenomenon for a while now. Probably wasn’t like this 40 years ago in regards to dating and marriage.. The world is changing and people are changing with it so quickly.. that impact is kind of scary imo
The way Matt is sitting commands space and attention. Nothing wrong with it. Now the bit about raising your arms on roller coasters or studying business...no wonder I'm struggling with women. 😫😂
Hey Matt, While in the dating pool (still here) I’ve realized how millennial men have no sex appeal, I think most of the tik tok icks are somewhat related to sex appeal killers. Although it’s noble that toxic masculinity is being unlearned, it seems as though masculinity is being dropped completely, which makes it nearly impossible to foster an attraction as a feminine heterosexual woman with a man (with lost or undefined masculinity)
I've heard of stories about people getting the "Ick" from someone and later on after some time apart, their feelings returned. Sometimes outside stressors can influence this as well. It depends on the person and what triggered it.
Speaking from an Asian perspective, studying business can be an ick because it's often the asian kids who weren't smart enough to get the grades for anything else but still get pressured by their parents to get a degree who choose it👀👀
An ex-boyfriend never, ever blows his nose - he sniffs repeatedly & very loudly, waits until his nose is running & he then wipes it on a filthy, tatty, ripped old hanky which he then returns to his manky pocket- gag - & he often then leaves stuff hanging from his nose -- & I can't look at him -- double gag!!
With the trampoline and rollercoaster examples those things might be seen as being childlike in nature and maybe they're not into that. That's my best guess. 🤷🏼♀️
I felt that "ick" a few times-For one guy I simply started disliking him all of a sudden because he showed in some cases he is less intelligent than me. The other one I remember was when I woke up next to the guy suddenly being shocked at how his head is big, that was so ICK. Also, another example is when I saw the home of one guy too. It's always something kinda, so not what you are looking for to feel "ick" to. One guy felt "ick" on me (at least I think so) because he saw that I love beer very much, and he is a guy all sporty, let's wake u at 5:30 kind of person. I am sporty too, but that didn't still make him not feel the way he fills. From what I say, you can conclude that this feeling comes when someone shows something that you REALLY do not want.
I think if you don’t have attraction anymore for the person, nothing she or he could do can make him or her look good. I think these reasons for the ick are so ridiculous. It’s more the reflection of the person judging, maybe it’s a reflection of his or her own self hatred or shame
I just learned about the ick a week ago and I'm glad I heard this conversation to help clear up what I thought was a culture for judging people ig😂 You guys sound like your touching on real truths
I remember getting the ‘ick’ when I went on a first date with a boy (I was 16) and he gave me a sketch he had done of my face. It was technically very good, but he based it off a horrible Facebook photo. A bad angle, my lip caught on my braces, eyes out of focus. It was awful 😂
This is why men stopped doing nice things for women. He probably put a lot of effort in it, he wanted to show his affection, and all he gets is "the ick".
@@raytracer5726 I’d like you to imagine how you would have felt in my shoes. First date, sixteen, insecure about your braces and the boy hands you a drawing highlighting what you consider to be your worst features? I can appreciate the effort (and we went out a few more times after this), but it made me feel bad about myself. Also do you feel I should owe him something for his effort? Like a payment? A nice gesture isn’t truly nice if something is expected in return.
@@ffionjenkins7897 If he made a drawing of this picture, obviously he thought it was cute. A rational person would take it as a compliment. You don't owe him anything. I just pointed out that even if you have all the good intentions, she might actually be offended by it. And it seems like these kinds of nice gestures is the fastest way to give her the ick, so that's why men don't do it anymore.
This video was hilarious! And also makes you wonder why! I would say is an ick for me people that push your boundaries no matter how many times you set them they are convinced they have to be the one to break that boundary! Wonder why some people do this? What makes them want to cross that line? Is it a like for provoking people? Or something to do with inner child trying to get your attention?
My previously met icky guys: - messy, disorganized - smelly - too nervous - disloyal, massively indiscrete, gossips - serial complaining - glued to device - “I’m a good guy” (One guy has 4 or 5 of these icks, lol)
Going to bed without showering, not checking if your breath is fresh or not (pop a gum in), nice perfume (not too much!) - basically smell related for me
As I watch these two men discuss “Ick traits” I observe Matthew doing his analysis in a confident manor, actually utilizing his own advice as Steve becomes a little intimidated by Matthew’s confidence in wanting to analyze each of these “Icks”, so then Matthew hones in on Steve and actually analyzes Steve himself. Then Steve tries to stand his ground, continually showing signs of discomfort with Matthew’s beautiful confidence. Well done, Matthew 👏 it appears you actually apply your own wisdom in your own life. Very impressive analysis on the “Icks” as well. I really enjoyed the subject here.
My "ick" is using foul language and anything that comes off as disrespectful. Talking about how hot another woman is when we are out on a date is an ick.
Some people have a ick because they are snobbish and a snob can't stand the things that snobs don't do 🙄. I saw that last week in Spain. The snob felt icky to be on a local beach and not a fancy tourist beach. The snob hated the fried seafood dishes because it was not in a proper dining room.
What!? I love roller coasters and always put my hands up. Why would you drive all the way to an amusement park and then NOT have fun? That's so strange.
The truth the ick is the person suddenly starts to behave repulsive. Something unsatisfactory. Then your forced to look at the entire picture and find it unacceptable.
Guys or Girls if your with someone who gets put off you for these reasons run and run fast and find someone who will love you for who you are . I have to say though I love it when I see a guy sitting with one leg over the other society has told us it's a lady thing but to me he chooses to sit like that because he's comfortable sitting that way and it also shows he has confidence and I think Matthew would completely agree with me, no wonder everyone is single today there all judging everyone.
I get the ick if a guy’s apartment is messy, or if he does not see the value in me an is constantly trying to figure out what he gets in the situation.
Those adult scooters - definitely put me off! Greedily rushing food in a restaurant. The wrong shoes. Laughing too loudly. Interrupting a conversation and taking it over.
The one leg over the other is going to lose it for me, the criss cross is acceptable! It's very much a manly thing! But you can put your hands up on a roller coaster ride !
It's needs to be pointed out the different between fully cross legged and only partially. Matt is doing it partially. It's just a comfortable way to sit sometimes (until your knee joint starts to hurt).
Some cumulative icks: Needy/clingy/emotionally dysregulated, habitually messy/leaves smears on things, routinely doesn’t know his fly is down, and/or shoelaces are untied. Forgetful, chaotic mind. Piss on the floor by toilet. Leaves drawers and cabinet doors open. Unknowingly leaves house door open in freezing winter temps. Impatient with animals. Ignores/disregards my boundaries……. 😬 Oh boy! Eeek, ick!!
Some of my icks (and the underlying qualities that make them icky) : 🤢Drugs/Smoking/Vaping/Drinks Alcohol (substance abuse, addiction, no self mastery, disgusting, weakness, irresponsibility, careless with his health, inconsiderate, thrill seeking, poor judgment, likely to rape or kill or abuse while high/drunk) 🤢 Mean to service people, animals, or kids (arrogance, superiority, unkindness) 🤢 Hurts someone physically or emotionally and calls it 'humor' (cruel, sadistic, passive aggressive, insecure, power hungry) 🤢 Speeding or reckless driving (inconsiderate, thoughtless, uncaring of the health and safety of others, doesn't respect rules or boundaries) 🤢 Shoplifting / Does not pay back debts (no empathy, no honor, poor at managing money, immoral, selfish) 🤢 Doesn't clean up after himself and doesn't take initiative to clean after others (man-child, immature, irresponsible, chauvinistic, incompetent, selfish) 🤢 Asks for sex before marriage (insulting, entitled, afraid of commitment, unloving, assumes all women are the same) 🤢 Doesn't listen / constantly interrupts and talks over people (self-important, narcissistic, uncaring) 🤢 Swearing (undignified, lacks self mastery, lacks vocabulary/ creativity/eloquence) 🤢 Plays extremely loud music / doesn't wear headphones (inconsiderate, selfish, egotistical) 🤢 Spits on the ground in public (just yucky, undignified) 🤢 Chews food with mouth open (gross, lacks manners, lacks self-awareness) 🤢 Long fingernails (unhygienic, oblivious of intimate partner's needs, doesn't take care of himself) 🤢 Coughs or sneezes openly without trying to contain it (no manners, inconsiderate, thoughtless of the health of others)
The icks I've noticed that come up for me is when someone has poor eating/drinking habits, doesn't take care of their physical appearance and overly effeminate behavior. I'm not super into gym bros since I like the creative type, but I do agree with Audrey that these issues most likely stem from my own insecurities/fear of being out of shape physically and feeling more masculine than my bf as a hetero female.
