10 Relationship Red Flags of Abuse 

Hope everyone have a great weekend. We know we're releasing a lot of new videos lately, but hope they all help! Also, what do you guys think of these next few topics: 1) psych2go.net/10-ways-deal-unrequited-love/ 2) psych2go.net/7-psychological-tricks-can-help-make-good-impression/ 3) psych2go.net/10-smart-signs-school-may-not/ 4) psych2go.net/10-thoughts-can-destroy-relationships/ Feel free to post requests below.

Most of us are constantly abused and don't even notice, sad.

One thing you forgot to cover is that a victim usually doesn't know until someone points it out, because abusers will choose someone they know is lonely. They will also do something later to try to make it look like they're sorry. For example, the abuser might hit their partner, but then later take them to their favorite place for dinner to "make up for it"

I seriously checked like 7 of these off. I don’t even feel abused. That’s the scary part.

A summary of the points; 1) Controlling behaviour 2) Humiliates you 3) Guilt trips 4) Forces you to take responsibility for their feelings 5) Ultimatums 6) Physical violence 7) A bad temper 8) Forces you to do things you don’t want to do 9) Constantly checks up on you 10) Picking a fight

Abusers will also convey selfishness with "compassion", making it appear they are a good and selfless person when they're really just a selfish asshole so that people don't see that side of them

Nice video. We shuld totally avoid people with abusive behaviour even if they are very close to us.

I'm a guy that was emotionally abused by my first girlfriend. I've been too scared to get into a relationship since. It's been 2 years and I still occasionally have haunting memories of it that just don't go away.

I worry about some of the people here wondering if they are the abuser. If they truly are, they need to seek help. However, to my knowledge, an abuser can also make the victim think that they are the problem. So, I hope none of the people are wondering if they are abusive because their abuser has tried to convince them that they are.

... This reminds me of my mum, and yes, I know it's normal for parents to keep watch over their children, argue etc, but still...

When you realize you've done some of the things In your "fresh" relationship I always seek out for abuse/red flags from my partner because of my insecurities without noticing that I am actually toxic This really opened my eyes

You know it’s bad when the vibration sound stresses you out

Before you realise it you have confided with another abuser about your current abusive relationship and they start doing the same thing while pretending to be a friend.

You should make videos on how to get out of abusive/toxic relationships. Because it's really really hard and I need help we arnt even dating anymore and he still has a hold on me.

Temper can also be a sign of heing abused as the victim is so frustrated by their abusers manipulative behavior that they blow up feeding into the abusers guilt trips and manipulation

1.ex-partner 2.ex-partner 3.ex-partner 4. ... Glad I stopped talking to anyone who was treating me bad. I am so much happier now. It was a difficult step but it was totally worth it. Please be strong and free yourself too, you can do it! Life will be so much more enjoyable with the right people around you

I’m finally getting out of my 15 years of mental abuse and physical, I could breath and feeling beautiful. He did all 10 and more.

This video makes me so angry because my ex was like this and I hate myself for giving him most of my time and energy

Another, lesser-known but equally damaging form of abuse is financial abuse. It is often mixed with other forms of abuse but can exist on its own. While from the outside looking in, it can seem nice that the people involved are so smart about money, and that the victim doesn’t have to worry about financial instability, but in reality, it is a crippling situation that can be almost impossible to escape.

I watched this video to remind myself that it wasn't in my head. I was abused for almost three years. Emotionally, physically, and sexually. And I feel grateful to be out

My ex bf did some of this, he was aggresive, never hit me but almost. I broke up with him today

basically describes my ex, damn he was my first bf and he made me feel I was wrong about everything that I didn't know how to love properly and he always was angry and disappointed in me so happy he's outta my life now

I was in a relationship for 15 years with someone that did everything but the physical violence. The video puts it into such simple clear terms and it was really powerful for me. I have been out of that relationship for nine years and still working on trusting men again. When I was in the relationship my self-esteem was very low and I had a severe anxiety disorder that made me quite dependent. I know that victims don't leave until they are ready. I know that truth very well. I work very hard to heal from the wounds I have from this experience and I sympathize with anyone that is in or has been in an abusive relationship. Thank you for making a video of a difficult but important topic.

My ex literally did all of these things to me while we were together. In just a few days, it will be the one year anniversary of me leaving her. I'm still scarred to the point where just thinking about being in a relationship again makes me have a panic attack. Thank you for making this video, it will help so many people out there.

The issue is that he is great 80% of the time. He helps me a lot with doing life, network connections but he loses his temper when I don't help him when he wants. We have a cultural barrier. Today he said he has never hit me, just played a bit rough. Then why was I always fearing for my life, shaking after his episodes, but so scared of leaving at the same time? I'm so devastated by his actions emotionally it pierces my heart. Though it's small scratches kicks and pulling and pushing me around, nothing broken.

it is not helpful when professionals such as police and doctors only ask if they have physically hurt you, emotional abuse, financial abuse are all damaging.

I was in a abusive relationship for almost 4 years. I let them walk all over me, and that lead to emotional and mental abuse. It took a while but close friends pointed out that they didn’t see the relationship as healthy. I ignored them. I truly believed the lies the other person told me was true. That if i left I would never have someone better. That this was the best I deserved. After almost four years I snapped. I couldn’t take it. I screamed and cried and cut all ties with them. I was diagnosed with depression soon after. I had believed all the lies the told me that now that I was on my own, I felt worthless. Today I’m in a much better place with loving friends and family. If you catch red flags early, see help. I wish I would’ve back when it first started. Don’t make the same mistake

I've been worried recently that my parents might be abusive, but i was never sure because i didn't know what signs of it was. this video was helpful for me.

1. Controlling behaviour 2. Humiliates you 3. Guilt trips 4. Forces you to take responsibility for their feelings. 5. Ultimatums (ex: if you don't come out with us I'll burn your books, etc.) 6. Physical violence 7. A bad temper 8. Forces you to do things you don't want to 9. Constantly checks up on you 10. Picking a fight I hope this helps and I hope whatever situation you are in, you heal and have a much better life. ❤🌟

This made me realize I was in an abusive “relationship” (it was by force but he made me think I wanted it) when I was 12, with a guy on the internet, literally, he did everything here but physical abuse, this went on for months because I was scared to ask for help, and it didnt help I was a complete pushover,, thank God I cut him him out before it got worse

There are several forms of abuse: financial, religious, psychological,(gaslighting, manipulation, guilt trips, constant antagonizing, name calling-degrading/demoralizing behavior) physical, sexual (physical+psychological), and neglect none of which should never be ignored ! For many of us, we have been subjected to many abuses...and now justice will finally be served...

Oh my god this video has made so many things clear about my relationship!! I have been going crazy running in circles wondering what exactly was my mistake to apologise for a fight I didn’t even start. Thank you #Psych2Go

I was in an emotionally abusive relationship without realizing it for so long. Hindsight is 20/20 but I had very low self esteem at the time and was very new to relationships: I was naive. It took time to realize how unhappy I was after our dates, how inappropriate the putdowns were (I couldn’t share anything positive that happened to me about my life without it being mocked/minimized, or having it disregarded as the conversation shifted instantly to something that made him remember) and eventually I just broke it off and cut all ties: Young people, my advice to you is to be self-confident and respect yourself before giving yourself to anyone. Get in touch with your emotions/wants and learn to properly communicate them.

There’s also social isolation. When a abuser feels like they are losing control they will try to isolate the victim but any means necessary, but typically by force. I just got out of an abusive relationship a few months ago and y’all really hit the nail on the head with this one! Thanks so much

Calling 911 is BS. The police believed my abusers over and over again. Even when I was in the hospital after one of my abusers attempted to murder me, the police didn't believe me. Another thing, people who are abused as children often end up in abusive relationships as adults. When it's all one knows, how does one break free? But even knowing that it's abuse is just one step in the battle. Once the victim knows, then they can seek help, right? In my case and the case of many others, seeking help made everything way worse. So, when seeking help makes things worse, the victim is even more alone than before. And when the victim finally does get away, where do they go to? DV shelters would not help me because, well, it depends on which abusive relationship I was seeking safety from. They wouldn't help when it was my family abusing me because they can only help people who are being abused by an intimate partner. When it was a partner I was seeking refuge from, they wouldn't help because I called from a Walgreens, which obviously meant I had gotten away and didn't need their help. I went back to him after picking up whatever it was I had gone shopping for. I told myself that if it wasn't the dead of winter, I'd run away and sleep on the streets. But, the abuse was always less severe in the nicer months of the year. I guess they knew my line of thinking, yea? Even now that I'm safe, when it starts to get cold, I still mentally withdraw from those around me. My body and mind just seems to be preparing itself for the worst. That brings up another point. Even after getting away from all forms of abuse, going through years of therapy and becoming independent, the body and mind still carry the effects of what was done. I still have nightmares. I still find myself tensing up when someone picks up a belt/blunt object/cigarette. I feel like that frightened child all over again. Are they gonna hurt me? Are they gonna pretend to be nice to draw me close? Are they gonna get mad at me for being hesitant to approach? I never knew back then and even though I know now that the person picking up the belt is doing so to get dressed for work, my body still tenses up, waiting for the impact. My mind goes far away, as I watch it in third person, feeling helpless and confused. My roommate has never hurt me. It's out of his character to harm others. But, the ingrained bodily response is still there. When someone is abused, they carry that with them for life. Sure, they can learn to cope and what not. They can learn about the chemical constitution of the brain and the biological responses to danger, real or perceived. They can read book after book, understanding more and more about biology, psychology and more. But, even with all that knowledge, even in the midst of an anxiety attack when the person is telling themselves that there is no danger and they are safe, the body still sends out the fight/flight/freeze response and the victim can only wait it out. Body and mind seem at war with each other at that point, even though the person has been safe for years. The person knows it's irrational at this point to be so scared, but the logical mind cannot outweigh the bio-chemical response. "It's okay. You're safe. It's just anxiety.", I tell myself over and over again, hoping that my brain will get the hint and stop pumping adrenaline. Maybe Psych2Go (I don't know how to tag them, to ensure they see this comment) can do a video on the long term after effects of abuse. Or maybe they can can do a video on why abusers are often believed over victims and what can be done about it.

This video hits quite close to home >.

I left my ex-partner today because of the red flags mentioned. Not only was I constantly belittled, I was also accused of things that I didn’t do. My mental health was deteriorating and after rounds and rounds of conversations, I always find myself at fault. I decided that enough is enough and sometimes it’s worth going through the short period of pain than to be in an abusive relationship. I felt relieved and not guilty.

Someone who says they’ll kill themselves if you leave is SICK! 🤬

My ex girlfriend was emotionally abusive towards me. A few days ago I found out she had been cheating on me and she broke up with me to be with the other person instead. Now when I look back at it, I realize that I spent all my time and effort to keep her happy. The time I remember trying to leave her myself since she had slapped me for the first time, she threatened to end her life, saying it would be my fault. Therefore I stayed. Now that I’m out of that relationship I feel a bit better. I’m still facing constant struggles and I can’t help but miss her. But I’m thankful that our relationship ended before it was too late...

It pains me of how much this reminds me of me and my mother's relationship, I'm glad I no longer live with her.

My boyfriend and I broke up today. I’m 5 months pregnant with our son this is both of our first kids and I’ve been abused through out my entire pregnancy and most of this relationship. Didn’t realize any of these things til I started watching these videos...

My parents were in a toxic relationship. They divorced 8 years ago. My dad was the abuser and my mom the victim.Then a year ago, that narcissistic piece of crap finally realized his stupid mistakes and said sorry to us. It was legit. My mom even had a dream of him saying sorry to her while crying. Things are way better now. He still has some of his old flaws but his abusivness is gone. Now I can look at him as a dad ☺️😭🤧

The environment you're in inevitably influences your self and your life. It is of vital importance to leave a bad environment, the truth is you must leave these types of relationships if you wish to move forward in life. Staying loyal to these types of people or trying to fix them is doing nothing but keeping you down and wasting your energy. It might be the hardest thing you've ever had to do to cut out people you're so close with, but ultimately it's worth it. Stay strong, move forward, this life is yours. Never accept anything untolerable from it.

All them flashbacks when living with my mom still hit me sometimes, lives good now

the tears won’t stop flowing

Well, some points reminded me of myself... I just called my boyfriend and he told me I'm just in an abusive relationship with myself and that I can talk with him about everything cos he loves me. But wouldn't the partner of an abuser say the same thing? I have Borderline and abusive relationships aren't rare in this type of personality disorder so I'm afraid now I just didn't realize all the time that I emotionally abuse my boyfriend

Also something that they didn’t mention in the video is that an abuser could also give in a pity themselves to make you look like the bad one.. like if your in an argument and you start name calling back or pointing out the the abusive red flags to him he can actually agree with you and then never change his behavior

*And meanwhile 50 Shades of Gray sold 125 million copies worldwide and the film was breaking numerous box office records.* *Maybe you can guess the point I'm trying to make...*

My boyfriend did almost all of these. I broke up with him today. One of the most difficult things I've ever done, but I know it was right looking back on it.

I was in an abusive relationship exactly like this. It lasted almost 3 years. It's been over a year now and I'm glad its over.

This defines my dad perfectly.

.. well then. My ex had been really suicidal and whenever we had a fallout, he would threaten to self harm himself or even kill himself..

2:24 damn when those words were drawn in, that hit hard

My mom acts so nice when my friends are around she dose everything for us but when they leave....

I'm in an abusive relationship and I was in denial for two years. Being away from him during this quarantine has made me realise how much control my boyfriend has over me. He's never hit me but I've been scared that he might. I'm afraid to leave him because he knows where I live and I'm afraid that he might hurt me or my family. I'm also afraid that he might harm himself. I actually have no idea what to do 💔.

A friend of mine acts like this... she can be a really good friend, but she's in a pretty stressful situation, so she's alot more emotional at the moment. She tries to make everyone around her feel guilty for stuff that is her fault, and constantly tries to stop me speaking to certain friends, mocking me when I hang out with them. She's also quite violent sometimes, And I have had to personally deal with that. Most of the time she's fine, being a good friend and helping me with my own problems. But since things have got more stressful for her, it's got alot worse for everyone else too.

I think you guys do amazing work and I'm so grateful that you guys are out there doing it. My comment about this video is I think there is another sign of abuse that wasn't really touched on and that is: Abusers go to great lengths to keep their private life private. If no one outside of the relationship is privy to all the goings on's inside the abusers home, the abuser can easily keep a sunny face on how the relationship is going. If the partner discusses what is actually going on, the abuser will immediately shoot that information or accusations down with others, saying things like: "they're lying" or "they're crazy" or "they r just trying to start drama" there in under-minding the credibility of the abused partner with others, which leaves the partner even more isolated and the abuser with even more control.

This fits my family for sure! My dad was awful to us, but mostly to Mom. And out of frustration, she would take it out on me. I'm not sure how old I was, but she stopped bullying me before I started high school. But Dad wouldn't stop being a controlling, manipulative, story twisting prick. I was just so fed up with the constant shouting between them. Then in 2010, things escalated. I always knew he was no good, but what I heard from Mom confirmed it. He was jealous of me for the longest time and didn't want to compete with me, all because of a stupid grudge. The fact I was first to her and not him, my height, and the fact I wasn't like him. Mom left Dad when I was 3, but he's come and gone. Spring of that year seemed all right, but the summer, he barged in at midnight and they started shouting. They woke me up, too. I was surprised it last 2 whole hours. Then that one cold, fall night. I didn't realize I was standing up to him, but he was so mad he wasn't in control that he picked a fight with me. He doesn't fight fair, either. Then, just last year, he contacts Mom and tries to weasel his way back by bringing up that night, making her feel like it was her fault he was carted off. She knew right there he was still the same. A few messages later with no response from Mom and she finally blocks him.

The fact I am here searching it up just means a lot...

my last relationship had like six of these and it was really difficult to get out of it. i’m really happy that i did though, i may be lonely but i’m on the road to being a lot happier than i could’ve been with them

This whole "victim" and "abuser" dichotomy is over-simplified. In most cases, there is more than one abuser in the relationship. Both parties can be abusive- and this is not an uncommon thing.

The last relationship- Let’s call him ‘Jack’ was a lot like this. He didn’t have a short temper, but he always treated me like an item and dumped all of his issues on me. When I finally left, Jack guilt tripped me since he knew exactly how far I could go and that I was a very empathetic person, but I told him I needed to leave and carried on with my life. He still contacts me with subtle threats and blames me for things, but I know that every thing is okay and that he can no longer manipulate me because I knew where I stood and I could be strong. Now I’m in a healthy, balanced, and wonderful relationship with a really great guy. We understand each other and can talk about anything, and he makes me feel alive, happy, and safe. Relationships like Jack happen but it’s important to stand up for your feelings and self. Don’t let someone hurt you, you’re worth it and you matter in this universe. You have a voice, and there’s always help around. Stay strong

I grew up with a mother like this, no wonder I ended up in a relationship with an abusive guy for over a year, and a half.

After being in a relationship that had basically all of these factors, I don't even know what to do. Why do I feel like I still love him even after all of this happened? I have to keep reminding myself that he's not good for me because I always would do anything to make him forgive me. He's really good at making me feel guilty as if I did something to him. I don't know how to move on because I keep thinking about him

this isnt just romantic relationships too, platonic relationships can be a abusive as well! dont be scared to think that the current platonic relationship your in is abusive just because its platonic!

Coming to the conclusion that I was in a abusive relationship is MIND BLOWING I CANT HANDLE THE LEVEL OF

i known all along for the past 10 years of my childhood I had been abuse by my parents. But i couldn't do anything because i was weak and indecisive. I felt like i want to die and have several thoughts of suicide. But i know it is not worth it. Because of the abuse, i had a very low self esteem, depression and social anxiety. Those 10 years are the most harshest time of my life. But my life are getting better for i can manage myself independently without relying solely upon my parents. I had my freedom and are in college to study more about life. I realise I'm on my own and my happiness is the only thing i want in my life for the upcoming 10 years.

It’s not just partners; friends and family can be abusive too. I grew up with abusive parents 😓😓😓 I suffer self steem issues as a young adult. I feel like I struggle with my social skills because of my self steem issues and consequently, social anxiety. Last year I had an abusive friendship with someone and because I was raised to think that I have the responsibility to keep everyone satisfied at any price, I kept forgetting that person and blaming myself for upsetting them. Finally I got out. Still learning to love and respect myself better. It’s been a thought journey.

I can't leave my relationship with my boyfriend. He mentally, emotionally and physically tries to be controlling. He doesn't respect boundaries and doesn't allow me of decide for myself. He doesn't like to get no for an answer and when he doesn't get his way he sit outside my residence or damages things I have outside. He's broken the window and the door is completely mishapen. He won't leave me alone at all and when I have threaten to do something he has said that he'll violate whatever it is I get on him. He says he will take my dog, things and or that he'll chop me up me up.

O. M. G. So many of these describe the way my wife, her elderly mother and father have treated me for most of my 9 year marriage. They were masters at tactics #1, 2, 3, 4, 7, 8, 9, and yes, even # 10. Because I am a man there are few resources available although I am currently in counseling and have been away from those people for 3 months. Even my stepdaughter is showing signs of abusive conduct as she has seen her mother and grandmother abuse me, and even engages in the same manipulative tactics her elders show when someone stands up to them.

I just realized how terrible it is that my friends and I casually talk about how we’ve been abused and think nothing of it. Yes, it might be our parents, but should parents really be *abusing* their children? I understand if parents ask for pictures of you and your friends your with or maybe texting at certain intervals. One of them is with physical, one with mental, and I’m over here with verbal and physical. We shouldn’t be taking this lightly. We just sit down and talk until someone who doesn’t get abused points out that we’re being abused and need to seek help. It’s not normal for a parent to restrain you by force (choke you by pulling your shirt back, beat you with a belt, blame their actions on you, etc). that’s all I got

My parents behavior towards me match all of these symptoms. My mother broke a wooden broom while hitting me when I was 7 (because I had crossed the street without her permission). now we live in different countries and that made my life much, much happier.

Yeah that all sounds about right. I once had a girl who, when I got in an argument with her the prior night, waited until I left for school before she slashed and burned her own arm. She then called the police, and said I was doing it in my sleep. Because the police didn't believe me, they arrested me and I had to go through expensive court cases to get my name and the incident cleared off the record. Needless to say, we're broken up, but even though I blame her for a majority of the abuse she did to me, I could had broke it off way earlier when there were signs that she was capable of this. I should had listened to my gut.

this channel went from making me happy every time I saw a new upload to depressing me every time I see a new upload. I doubt it's anybody's fault but it just started pretty soon after a breakup, I think a video came out about how to get over a breakup or something along the lines of that but none of them worked for or applied to me and that and the why not to go back to your ex video put me in a really bad state because it made me think of what would happen if he saw it and this video has kind of just added salt to the wound because the reason we broke up was because i was abusive but i don't want to be abusive and I want to stop but i dont know how so I asked for a video on that but that hasn't happened and now this makes me imagine people seeing it and being pushed away from me because of it and I don't want to be alone

My fiance just threatened to body slame me and kill me after he had a couple of drinks. And he put his hands on me. I feel trapped.

Was with my ex girlfriend for 4 1/2 years of dealing with all of this.I was so in love with her so because so many times we have great moments and adventures and memories together and later in the day or time she would completely flip if we were unable to do something that she wanted. Even like me saying no to going to the store because I knew she either wanted to spend money on cigarettes or beer and she was not able to do either anymore due to health reason and the way she would act she would become so nasty and evil towards me. recovering from active addiction also played a huge role in the relationship because she was secretly relapsing behind my back and then would get messed up and apologize. no matter how mad and upset i was i still love her and would hold her and help her to recover again only to have accusations and false statements or forcefully mistreated thrown in my face because she believed if she had done wrong how come i was becoming less loving when in fact i was growing tired of consistent let downs from her for simple things i would ask. I finally became aware i was the victim and try to get out of it and unfortunately had no idea i was actually winding right back in a circle over and over again. now i finally had enough of all the abuse and made the final call to leave for good though i love her so dearly with all my heart i know her actions and what she has done to me is not my fault but hers and its time to recover and be myself again after a long period of going down hill into depression. I feel so angry all the time and cannot place it to on thing. I love her so so much and I know the type of person she was and can be. Was I played for a fool, or is her own past trauma created her into a relationship monster due to her issues in previous marriage. I felt so scared to leave because of how she would react to even the slightest gesture of no in a conversation imagine leaving to go your own way and she becomes the strongest demon in hell forcing you to stay and fight even though you want to leave so bad you cannot find the exit . Anyone have thoughts. I have left her and now in midst of getting a restraining order because she is creating drama and accusations of me in my workplace and could possibly cost my job for things that never have even accured. Please help me.

*reads Video title* So... Abuse Script is basically a typed out, written, or said lines that are used in movies, plays, music, and overall entertainment. But you abuse the script, by crumbling up the script, or writing it in un neat handwriting

I have read a lot of the comments. Most are from victims. After watching this video, I have realized I am an abuser. I love him. And I don't want to harm him anymore. I suffer from extreme paranoia and developed a personality disorder during my high school years. Sometimes, I don't even realize I am doing it. It's a selfish fun to mock him in front of his friends. I chose to do that while meaning to praise him for our differences. My family is emotionally distant from each other and we use making fun of each other as a form of endearment. Instead of hiding behind an emotional wall anymore, I will say the POSITIVE THOUGHTS. I usually would say "your hair is a mess, you should cut it" instead of my real thought "I love the length it's fluffy to touch." I have a problem in which I say the negative first instead of how I feel. I hope this offers insight to those who are abused and the abuser. We do love. However, we do not self reflect on our actions often, we need the time and space. If you meet someone like this, just give yourself distance from them (whether thru breaking up or giving them time). The only person who can fix this problem is themselves. They have to measure whether you are more important than these continued habits!

Can you do a similar video about parents and perhaps a vid about not so obvious anxiety symptoms or autism?

I broke up with my partner yesterday. It hurts so much because I truly loved them. I know that it was what I needed to do for my health and for my future. I’m going to be focusing on me now

Sounds like my parents and some past friends I had...

I was the abusive toxic one in my marriage!!i was very controlling and used emotional and verbal abuse to get what i wanted.the thing is i didnt WANT to hurt my wife.i got absolutely no joy from it.i was petrified of her leaving me.i struggle with self esteem and abandonment issues.thats not an excuse.there is no excuse for abusive behaviour but i know my behaviour came from a place of fear!i want to change and be a better person but i know that can only happen by learning to love myself.I relied on my wifes love to make me feel whole so i tried to control her so she wouldnt leave. I know how wrong that is now.MY wife left this year (she said it wasnt to do with the abuse) and in a lot of ways im glad she did.she deserved better than my warped version of love!!there was a lot of good in the relationship too but i feel it will always be tarnished now!!i thought of myself as a good person, giving to charity, good uncle to the kids but just a bastard in the relationship to be honest.ive read hundreds and thousands of comments on these abuse pages and i really do not think i am this heartless snake described.i have an heart and it breaks to think of my behaviour.ive messaged my ex multiple times to offer to hand myself into the police, find her support and she just says "stop being ridiculous" i just hope i can find the help and resources to get to the bottom of my need for control so that maybe one day we could be friends again.more than ready for a bollocking but i want to own what i was AN ABUSER note:to the abused party.it is NEVER your fault or job to save an abuser.get out as soon as you can

I Went Through Physical Abuse as A Kid! :(

My ex did most of these things to me, and I catch myself doing it to others now. It's not that I want to do it, it just feels like I care too much and I get way too insecure, which makes me angry. He absolutely crushed me and left me in this paranoid mess. It is very difficult to control my temper and anxiety but I do try my best to. It sucks :(

Is yelling at me or talking over me loudly a form of abuse?

I remember that my first boyfriend was abusive. We started off in a sexual manner, and I felt like he was only with me to please and satisfy him. He didn't find time to spend time with me, he always claimed he was busy, and only made small talk with me, and directly told me to leave him alone whenever I tried to talk to him. He also wouldn't tell me anything about himself, and I only saw him twice in person in our 6 month relationship. He also reminded me of my father which I didn't have a good relationship with. The worst part of this was that I tried to leave him 3 or 4 or even 5 times, but he always made me feel guilty every time; forcing me to rethink my decisions, to give him a 'proper' reason to leave him. I hated it. But now I finally left him.

My abusive "friend" always says "I feel really sad when *insert me not doing something she wants*" the thing is she always wants something and it always about her. I always have to change myself and my schedule around her and even when I do everything she told me to, even after I told her it would be a big problem form me, she is still unsatisfied and she humiliates me by changing everything to suit her even though I changed everything in my schedule to suit her to begin with. Once I waited for her for over two hours in the freezing cold in a skirt because she kept messaging me with far fetched excuses but that she was coming, when she arrived she told me that she decided to take the later train because she heard that there was a special train coming with heated seats, free coffee and the ride was all free, as if she hadn't messaged me all those lies just a few minutes ago. That's right, I stood in the freezing cold for over two hours waiting for her and she wasn't ashamed to tell me that the reason she was late was because she wanted to ride a fancy train that served her free coffee(+she straight up unmasked herself that all those messages she sent me were lies). I have plenty of stories like this about her and I kind of feel like this is a good reason to break up this "friendship" and don't you dare tell me ghosting her is not right because talking to her does not work, I tried and many others have tried, but since she's a narcissist she will always see herself as the victim and apparently I'm not even aloud to tell her that she's a narcissist so what the heck am I supposed to do?

Psychological abuse is very real and very bad. I believe in a way more difficult to deal with bc its so hard for people to realize they're actually being abused. It can take years before a person even realizes they are in an abusive relationship and then make excuses like, well he doesnt hit me, he doesnt put his hands on me so its not abuse, or its not that bad. In reality this type of abuse is very detrimental to ones mental and emotional security. A person can lose all self esteem, confidence, can cause self doubt, and make you question yourself anf your own ability to even survive on your own. You begin to believe that you are not worthy of love, respect, or any happiness. That you cant survive on your own without that person. And it can take a lot of therapy to undo the negative effects of this type of abuse. We need to educate our youth more about the detrimental effects of this type of abuse, not just physical abuse. Though normally when there is physical abuse there is also mental and emotional abuse as well.

Experienced 3,4,5,7,8 and 10. I’m so glad I ended it💯

My friend was in an extremely emotionally abusive relationship I tried to do what I could but she wouldn't listen.she just recently broke up with him and I'm so happy.

My first girlfriend was an abuser!!! Now i hate her!!

Wow this made me question if I am abusive and I hadn’t even thought about it once

I may have mad a mistake dating this one guy, he seems to get mad really quickly, uses guilt trips and monitors my social media, should I be worried for myself?

My ex husband applies all. Both of us didn't know that he was abusing me until my friend pointed out. My ex still thinks everything was my fault. Here's a few of things he has done or said. "Don't tell anyone about our issues because we should fix it together." "I'm sorry that I'm controlling" He apologized so I forgave him but he never changes his behavior. "Can you be my good wife?" Throwing up many times to show me that he is stressed out. Blocked all people on my Facebook whom he didn't want me to talk to. He texted me a lot when I wasn't not around him but when we are together, he didn't talk to me.

But what we can do to deal with that person ? If it's our bf/gf . I personally believe that everyone deserves love ❤️ any suggestions plzz ☹️

it's nice seeing people in this comment section helping each other out :)

My big sister does this things every time.I hate her behaivor

The hardest part of getting abused is when the abuser is someone who is close to you and you love them, (A parent, spouse, sibling etc) and they have their good moments. It feels like your soul is being torn. You wonder if they are really abusive, or is it your fault?

I was abused by my dad (mentally) when I was young. I live in Europe now and i don't see him that much, but it is still there, but, I'm speaking with a lawyer on what to do with it. But, it has caused me to develop severe depression and anxiety, and when I was 12, after I got off the phone with him, I tried to kill myself. Abuse is abuse, and I hope my story lets people know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Wether it's a parent, a sibling, a family member, a friend, or a significant other, no one should be abused, no matter what type.

There is so much more....like pretending they are not doing the harm they are, and there are more covert ways of all of these points in the video that are abusive in a love bombing and gas lighting action....and more.