You and your partner should be Yin and Yang. You should be a part of each other while maintaining your sense of self. You should remain balanced in exchanging affection in your own ways. You need trust and care respectively. But you need to remember that you are not an extension of your partner, and they aren't an extension of you. You should never be the only person giving or the only person taking, or the only person telling the truth or the only person listening. Your partner is your equal, and you are theirs.
That's idealism talking. As much as we want that, humans are flawed and carry their baggage without working through it and above all humans seriously lack the ability to communicate effectively to a possible mating partner.
@@Psych2go I'm having a feeling of sustained shock right now after drinking coffee, wow! I can't describe how happy this makes me feel, thank you. I find it funny that you think so highly of this as I have never been in a romantic relationship in my life. Just goes to show that you don't always need to have experienced it to learn from the wisdom of others, and I'm glad to say that a lot of this wisdom has come from your channel, and I'm very grateful that you share it. Keep making content, Psych2Go, you're the Yang to our Yin.
*Toxic behavior #9:* They threaten to leave the relationship often, or often tell you that you can leave the relationship if you don't see it their way on an issue. Always letting you know that you're replaceable.
I used to be guilty of this 🌧 it’s because I didn’t have the guts to actually leave back in that relationship. Now I never say that the relationship is over because I know how serious it is, it corrodes the foundation of the relationship and makes it so trust slowly ebbs away. It teaches you that your voice isn’t honest and shouldn’t be listened to the first time. So yeah don’t do that. It makes you a liar and you lose respect for yourself when you’re unable to leave. But… I also have some compassion for it. Leaving a relationship is ridiculously hard regardless.
I will say though if someone tells you you’re replaceable that’s horrible. Threatening to find someone else js a big no for me even when I would talk about leaving but couldn’t follow through… for me it wasn’t about “i can do so much better” and more like “I would probably be more content on my own”…
I see it, in myself. Lack of trust, a bit too clingy, sometimes lying (mainly about past bc I feel like I ruined myself and hated myself), and false accusations. Tho I gotten better. I given my partner space, trust them more, and learnt to love myself bc it’s the sole cause of it. To anyway who’s like me, learn to love yourself and remind yourself your partner isn’t like your ex or a partner. If the trauma or your depression is extremely bad, talk to a therapist. And remember, don’t use your issues as the excuse every single time you f up. Take responsibility of your actions and learn from your mistakes. It’s hard but remember, you’re not alone. Your partner and friends can help but don’t take frustrations on them. And if you have a choice to get therapy then i suggest you get it.
The way you have internalised and reflected on yourself is commendable. I hope more people can do the same. I especially love the line that past issues are not excuses for messing up constantly
When I'm single I have this strong, independent personality that makes me feel confident and safe. Things change whenever I'm in a relationship :( I kind of become this insecure and lost person that needs a constant reassurance from the other person. I fear abandonment, I'm kind of clingy and my identity feels threatened by getting lost in my significant other.
Spend as much time alone as you can in the relationship. That means when you're alone, you're actively redirecting your thoughts inwards whenever you start to think about your significant other. All I can say for now, best of luck to you on your path 💗💖
Toxic behaviour doesn't exist, but immature behaviour does. I belive this video will help you to understand yourself better. Educate yourself: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-E9THwbJFUM4.html
@@Crystals10000 I’m so sorry for all the things you may have put up with. I don’t know you, but I know that no one deserves to have a partner who breaks the trust by cheating. You deserve loyalty and stability.
"Reaching out for help" is not that easy or simple especially when you have too much to say that triggers others so easily so you have to hold it all in.
@@Psych2go but when does one draw the line between help and dependence? Why not try to solve issues yourself or with the help of people close to you, instead of going to those who get paid insane amounts for essentially talking and telling a bunch of bs.
@@saintdolanchirosius3704 I'm sorry to hear you believe that we get paid insane amounts of money to tell you a bunch of bs. It's quite possible that your therapist wasn't a good fit for you. And, I get a modest income for the work I do helping others and work 45-60 hours an week.
@@kathleengeorge-bol5012 I never went to one nor plan to pay insane amounts of hard earned money for some societal parasite to listen about my secrets(and possibly blackmail me) only to get prescribed ineffective drugs(and be dependent on pharmacists) I'd rather talk to my family or if I need a third party, a friend.
You also need to be weary of a partner who is dismissive, someone who always plays the victim, someone who would rather not bother bringing up things that are pushing the relationship to a breaking point because bringing them up always upsets the other person so "it didnt seem worth it", someone who acts like their way is the right way, someone who isn't patient with any mental or emotional struggles their partner has ,someone who always claims that their partner is being emotionally manipulative (yes sometimes it was true but other times it was just a very bad response to dealing with certain feelings developed from a childhood trauma) and someone who says their partner hasn't made any progress after years of therapy (because a person apparently can't have generalized anxiety and social anxiety and fear of failure and fear of disappointing others and depression and freezing when they don't know what to do in a situation and the constant feeling that since nothing bad has happened to them yet, they are due for something bad, etc, etc)
I didn’t realize how toxic my current relationship is until I watched this video. I already felt like maybe the person was toxic because I always felt drained, sad, and out of sorts when with them. Thank you.
Me and my boyfriend, we've been together for 7 years now and we had our ups and downs. I think we all have/ had some toxic traits at some degree. But that doesn't mean we should give up instantly on the other person without first trying to understand their perspective or without trying to make ourselves understood. We also tend to act in a toxic way when we're hurt. But instead of hurting back someone by invading their boundaries, or by treating them poorly, we should try to understand that we are team players in our relationship and hurting the other means hurting the relationship, and in the end hurting ourselves. Therefore, the best way to avoid being hurt by others is to honestly communicate our feelings. And also, try to give up on your defensiveness and be opened about other's feelings too: maybe the other person didn't mean to hurt you as you perceived, or maybe you are hurting someone without realizing. Trying to be aware of our toxic traits and remembering that we are in the same team as our partner really strengthens the relationship. As my grandma said: It takes 2 to build a relationship and the same 2 to wreck it.
I think a lack of trust is how every relationship starts and trust is built from there. You should have a lot of trust before you are exclusive with them in my opinion.
I see some of the points in myself. My ex called me toxic and broke up with me i wasn't accepting that I'm the toxic one but after watching this video i know what's wrong with me I'll improve my toxic traits. Love your videos
I used to do points 1 & 2 most of the time. To be honest it's hard for me to trust someone after all the times my heart got broken, not to mention most girls around their 20s are already in a relationship with someone so i always felt like i should have the right to know if the person I'm talking to is already in a relationship, so i don't get disappointed later. As for my clinginess, it's hard to live without feeling anxious, wanting to feel the happy presence of your loving partner, so i would try to text that person when i get the chance, but not too much to the point of annoyance, however, my messages were ignored most of the time, which made me even more anxious. Honestly I'm bad at relationships and talking to people, especially women, so no wonder why i gave up at this point.
You need to act cool. When you feel the jealous nervousness, resist sending that text, resist asking questions that show your partner that you don't trust them. If they don't answer it means you were already draining them by texting too much. With time, holding back your unhelpful emotions, not acting them out, will build trust and you will both feel better in the relationship.
@martin i dont agree with you. I am someone who is very open and like to share daily things that occur or sometimes dtuff i find funny (i was in LDR). My ex (? On a break) did this and was super clingy in beginning but i thought it was cute. I sent gradually more and not like every 5mins no, we were not inmediatly responnding . But she changed suddenly to ignoring my thoughts i shared for hours, i felt annoying having to ask things3 times or more sometimes... A text with 1 or 2 questions abkut certain event and getting a "yes" is awful. But it got even worse wgen i expressed feelings, askes how she felt sbout it and always went "idk (what to say)". Really tiring but NO we dont ahve to change, you saying we should change is manipulating itself lol.
@@TheRScousins I meant constantly demanding information like where they are and what they're doing, as it's coming out of jealousy and feelings of insecurity, being scared to be abandoned or replaced by someone "better". What you describe doesn't sound unhealthy, but I can see how it can get tiresome for the other person at times. In your case, keep sharing experiences and thoughts of the day. I'd say just be you and hopefully the other person can handle your frequent barrage and appreciates you as you are.
This definitely reminds me of a friend I had, I don't know if she sees me as a friend anymore, but I feel like she's using me. She always looks for me when she doesn't have someone to hang out with. It feels like I can't get out of this toxic relationship
Simple one is when somebody puts on their profile anywhere "good vibes only" or "no BS/drama" That's severely toxic. But 90% of the general public does that. Simple gaslighting for those who don't live happy lives.
Some of these can apply to family dynamics or even friends too. There was this one time when my father literally clinged to me when I was trying to leave to get a breath after an argument. He was literally being clingy. I told him it was not cool and he told me that he wouldn't do it again. Set healthy boundaries in all relationships you have with people... people.
What's just as gross as being cheated on is cheating 'with' someone because they neglect to tell you they already have a partner. Happened to me twice. All the pain of being cheated on while also feeling like a POS!
You're better off being single. Being in a relationship is only going to hurt in the long run, regardless of how healthy it is. If you really want to be in a relationship, do it out of necessity, not love.
Always a liar, Always a cheater is not necessarily true. People grow, I think it really depends on the persons age. If you cheat on someone when you're 13 for example, I wouldn't say you'd always cheat for the rest of your life. Also, there is at least once case where if someone cheats on you it could be your fault. If you are an abuser and it's near impossible for the other person to leave, I think it's understandable why they'd cheat.
I honestly experienced this recently and I was feeling scared that my fiancé was acting different but I do recognize some of the signs like we end up lack of trust or communication because few days ago, he didn’t answer back until like morning or evening. In my mind, my emotion was all over the place and I been crying my eyes out. There are several red flags, like not answering and I tried to not to bother my fiancé private space or trying not to wait to get notified on phone like 24/7. Luckily today, what I learned from this was I tried not to end up those situations every single day. However, it can change or make things better. So wish me luck ❤
I’m guilty of a few of these but have definitely learnt from my experience of being toxic, and I have also been on the receiving side which also helped me better my toxic behaviours
"If I find someone better, I will let you know". That's what my ex told me several times during the relationship. I should have opened the door: "go and find". I felt really bad and cried. He has never apologized. When he dumped me, he said it has never been seriously relationship, that I should be grateful to him for being honest. Because in the past his ex fiancee cheated on him, I have no idea how painful it is, so he confirmed it's better to let me know I have been just temporary toy and easily replaceable. It was kind of revenge for his trauma and frustration... Only because I'm a woman, just like his ex fiance...
Toxic behaviour doesn't exist, don't feel sad. It's not meant to be, there is someone better out there for you. I hoop you learned your lesson. Instead educate yourself: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-E9THwbJFUM4.html
Awe i' m sorry that' s sad and sick, sounds like you dodged a bullet, you deserve better. He should of stayed single and/ or healed if he was that broken and full of hate still.
Sadly in my last relationship which ended like 4 years ago... I really was feeling super heavy with the points 4 and 7. They made me a huge damage in my mind and heart. Although not so long ago my heart healed itself from those feelings... my mind hadn't. It caused anxiety that I will end bad after a break up again because I did in my 3 relationships, which I ever had. I always had to be the one who leave, but not because I didn't cared for those persons, but to save myself from being completely destroyed emotionally. To heal myself... I would need a super caring and kind calm person.
I broke up with a guy who was a overthinker and would put me on a pedestal from the 50 dates he's had with me in his mind. He was jealous and clingy and suspicious interrogative and would always make me feel bad I'm not being able to pick up the phone because I was busy with being a caregiver. He changed and even friends said he changed and I've caught him in several lies and even after we broke up when I said I wanted space and time to process because I don't get much time he calls me twice the next day it's disrespectful and he never listened.
So the mother of my child is almost exactly this video everything down to cheating while pregnant. I’ve been taking care of her for the last 9 months while she’s been holding our child. This video has helped me realize that I’m not crazy. I sent it to her and she pretty much just said I know but I love. It hurts so damn bad. I don’t want to be in this relationship I just can’t see myself out of it. I tell and ask her to leave I sit down and have gentle talks about my feelings usually the gaslighting or something of the sorts is a result. My baby boys coming any time now and I don’t know what to do. She doesn’t have anybody but I’m so damn miserable. If I kick her out I’m worried on where she’ll go what she’ll do. I’m worried about her taking my son away. Idk but I feel wrecked. I constantly feel wrecked. Lately she’s been trying very hard to get me to see that she actually does love me but I simply don’t believe it and it makes me angry. Haven’t been this angry and miserable since I was very very young.
I'm so sorry to hear this! Men have it the worst in a situation like this, as she's the mother and has the power...the hand that rocks the cradle...literally! It sounds like your dealing with a manipulative narcissist, but you seem to be a sensitive empath who knows what love really is! If it doesn't feel right, you're whole being is telling you it's wrong for you! It is YOUR DECISION, whether or not to tell her to leave your place, but you definitely need to heal and the best way to do that is to have distance! Most pregnant women qualify for council/public housing (depending on your country), she will not be homeless. You cannot be a better you with her around! I'd like to say in your life, but as you are about to be new parents together, I'd say, you need to be able to at least communicate with each other to raise your son. If that means getting legal advice or representation, I'd say get it! EVERYONE needs their dad, especially boys. You deserve to be loved, respected, honoured and cherished, like everyone else and you can't do that for yourself if she's in the way, blocking your blessings and peace of mind! As a child of a narcissist, I completely empathise and struggle with still loving myself more than others, but it's something you will have to learn to do to survive! I'd also recommend you get a paternity test, which you can do after 2months pregnancy, if I recall correctly. 30% of paternity claims are false, and those are the ones that have been discovered, so I'd recommend all men to do this! I have 4 brothers and would hate for them to be compromised like that, so if it's possible, do that too. I'd also recommend listening to Dr. Ramani, who has some great videos on understanding narcissm and personality disorders. There is also a psych2go video about narcissistic victim syndrome/disorder, which I'd recommend watching. Just being able to talk to someone who truly listens and empathises, also helps, so if you can't get a therapist, you can speak to the Samaritans or me? Lol it's always good to talk and get it off your chest, out of your mind and get someone else's opinion. I hope this has been helpful? If not, please know there is at least one person in the world who's in your corner! Sending a little love from London ❤️
there is family court for a reason bro..if she cheated, how do u knw if the child is even urs. how can u say she has no one if she is cheating..she clearly isnt alone if she has someone to cheat with..if she cheats, she doesn't care abt ur feelings or u..do u want ur son to grow up seeing that type of relationship and accepting it as normal..?? u cant see urself with her because ur still with her..nothing is scarier than the unknown..i have forced myself to let go of someone i really loved and it was worth it..he cheating several times..effort isn't supposed to be one sided
Toxic behaviour doesn't exist, are you mature enough to be selfish in your situation?. Instead educate yourself: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-E9THwbJFUM4.html
This video reminds me of how I used to be, especially the "clinging" , the "always running late" & sadly, the "lying". I was raised around this 😔. Early this year, I started going to counseling due to severe "Post-Covid" depression & she recommended this channel to me. I have GREATLY improved myself emotionally & psychologically over the past 10 months. I have learned that it quite OK to still be single since 2011, when my divorce from a VERY abusive man was finalized (which in "redneck" North East Texas is very, VERY outside of the "statis quo"). I have learned, thanks to this channel that it is quite alright to be "not normal" & what to look for if I get into another relationship that is more on the "romantic" side. We all are different, but we MUST be true to ourselves & take care of ourselves, even if we play by are FAR from normal.
I kinda do #3 and I am trying so hard to be better. I'm defensive, even at times when it doesn't make sense, and I felt kinda called out with "they hesitate to make future plans," because I really don't like planning out whole lives because things change so often. I want to move in with my bf, i want to stop being long distance, but I am so scared of moving, of leaving my family, getting a new job... but i don't want to be distant for another 3-4 years while he finishes grad school... I'm trying, I swear.
I would say (I’m not a therapist or anything, just interested in the subject) 1. [Persistent] Lack of trust (also, look at what YOU may be doing??) 2. (Once again, are you doing anything, such as even just acting shady?) 3. Avoiding responsibility… (why are they avoiding it? Are they depressed?) 4. Gaslighting (agree) 5. Constant lying (totally agree with all of it!) 6. Super flakiness (why are they being flaky? Is it conscious? Are they just having a hard time? 7. False accusations (once again, is it all the time? Imo) 8. Cheating (don’t know enough on this subject but I think people can change, and you also have to know the why…. But YOU know yourself best and you will know intrinsically if you can forgive or not)
I experience this with my best friend. She never gives me space. She once wanted to look through my notebook and I told her to not read one page but she read it anyways. She kept asking me who was it and wouldn't leave it. Another time she ignored me for 5 days straight. When I asked about it she said she was angry and that she put the blame on me. My mother gave her acces to see posts on her Instagram account which was on private and sent photos of me to boys in our class. Everybody tells me to drop her but I can't. She was the first friend I made last year when I transferred and she sticks around me a lot.
I found out my gf texted a guy when I was out of town talking about hooking up in my apartment. I walked away. She begged me to not walk away, and persisted. I took her back but I made sure I control the shit out of her and said that’s the only way we’re going to continue together. I have her location all time, she can’t go to girls nights or out of town without me, we can go through each others phones. Those are the terms to move forward and she agreed and understood. So controlling is necessary in certain circumstances
I wasn't in love with him but gave him a chance of a lifetime. He's in my home, he's got stuff going on and took it out on me. The insults, the raising of the voice, and then the hitting!!! I felt awful and stressed out losing so much weight. And I've noticed that those I have been friends with benefits with are showing some of these behaviors. I'd rather be alone. And get my weight back...
My partner was using me to get their chores done and used me as free labor and lied that we are doing those for us even though she didn't want us to be together. Knowing she didn't want this relationship but also knowing that me being around is very beneficial for her so she lied and kept me around and drained me.
So sorry to hear.. I think knowing that we were just being used really makes us doubt ourselves as men. What are you doing now to ensure this same pattern doesn't happen in your next relationship?
Be mindful of what is actually good for you and the other person in every relationship. Sometimes that means leaving them to protect yourself and your love! I was that toxic person and now wish I had not caused so much pain and suffering. I am sorry for the spirit killing toxicity many of you have had to experience… you never deserved that and it was very wrong. May you be blessed with complete healing and deep peace now and always!
Going through a difficult time - don't have the energy to explain what I'd do - let's just say I'll try my best. I can relate to all the points in this video. 💞
I used to have a friend like this, many points hit home... She was my best friend and my crush. Last year i whished to forget her, now i can tolerate to see her. At the beginning was difficult but now i accept she is part of the past. i might have no best friend now, but i have many others good friends. they respect me and make me feel better. to whoever reads this: times gives answers and heals. you just have to wait for the pain to go away. you're not alone.
Not really any red flags in my relationship so far, but thanks to this I’m gonna try and pretty much say what’s currently on my mind that has upset me a bit to him… little things but they’re important to me Thanks for the great vids
this vid made me cry my recently ended marriage was like this in many ways and I can't believe she did that to me smh I loved her more than myself so much so I've bled for I've starved for her I've fought for her I've danced on the edge of razor blades in her hands to stop her from killing her self when she's had mental snaps but she decided to up and leave 2 wks ago literally walked out of nearly 10 yrs the last 2 of those years we were married and tho there was plenty of struggles and pain there was always an abundance of love and loyalty on my part that had stayed unbroken...... unlike her and YET STILL I LOVE HER MORE THAN MYSELF BECAUSE I AM WHO I AM AND I CHOOSE TO LOVE EVEN WHEN IT HURTS BUT I DIDN'T KNOW THIS IS WHAT SHE WAS DOING TO ME AND MAKING ME SOMEONE IM NOT......
I was with someone who had BPD for two years. Never trusted me, kept tabs on me at all times, very possessive and controlling, constantly pushes me away. I tried to understand but it was exhausting. It wore me down til both of us were completely unhappy
I'm actually worried for my best friend... Her boyfriend is...well...one clingy guy. If she manages to miss one phone call or even fails to reply to one of his texts, the dude would go furious. I kept on telling her that it's very toxic and that she should break it off with him, but she just won't budge. She kept on assuring me that she's okay, that she loves him and all, and would go all out on making his speeches for him. Yes--SHE'S THE ONE WHO MAKES HIS SPEECHES.
The fact I had someone who fit all of these boxes (with the exception of the last one) lol glad I left them. Luckilyi knew them my whole life and now I can’t make decisions without someone else saying which one to choose and telling me how to feel while dealing with stuff or I’ll completely break down from anxiety!!!! I need help but I’m scared I’ve been a lot more open about this relationship to my friends and family but it has left a huge massive hole in my heart since I grew up with them and put all of how to feel about stuff to them so when I’m put into a completely different world I psychologically, mentally, and sometimes physically can’t survive and thrive. Also a lot of trauma and religious trauma plus gender dysphoria with a hint of body dysmorphia makes this monstrosity!!
I was in my first relationship a while back and he'd look at photos of women in bikini and stuff like that, and make comments about how sexy those women were. It made me so uncomfortable and insecure, but i didn't say much coz i thought i should be chill about these things.. but the bottling up made me not being able to trust him even a bit. I got so jelouse whenever he got even a little touchy with other girls because i felt like he was looking at them with that male gaze/ flirting with them. I probably even accused him of things he didn't really do because of lack of trust.. but I'm so glad i got outta that mess. I'm much more confident now
"Once a cheater always a cheater" may be a helpful mantra for someone who needs to get out of a bad relationship. But if someone has been unfaithful in the past and they hope to change, this mantra is endlessly damaging. It implies they are forever unhealthy and unlovable.
Hey Psych2go! I absolutely love your videos and I'm so happy that a channel like this even exists but I'm going to have to call foul on one of the things you said here. Having a reputation such as yours and then telling people "once a cheater, always a cheater" is really unfair and honestly kind of irresponsible. LOTS of people (many of them likely watch your videos) have worked really, really hard to improve themselves after recognizing their own personal flaws and its very likely that some of them may have even been cheaters. I don't know if you said that because you personally have been cheated on (if that's the case then I'm so sorry!) But this isn't *definately* not the place to let one's personal biases get in the way. ESPECIALLY when you always do such a good job of showing people how to have better mental health. Either way I wish you the best and good luck with future videos! God bless! 😊
I watched this trying to self examine my relationship. I see that my wife and i both show various forms of these. Her being clingy, untrusting, and flaky, and my avoiding responsibility, lying, and cheating.
As my last relationship was coming to an end my ex would make plans with me and then entirely skip out and go missing, saying he was asleep or was busy with his mom. Which was normal earlier in the relationship until i found out he lied about not avoiding me. Then the trust was gone and I think we were broken up pretty quickly after. It's been almost a year now so it's fine since I ended up with an anxiety disorder from the relationship that I'm still dealing with.
My covert narcissist ex used to accuse me of cheating out of nowhere, without any proof(and there can't be any since i never even thought of anything like that) and i never understood why. Now i know why...
A huge one for me was when she refused to respect reasonable boundaries. She had men that were texting her flirting, when I had asked for her to either just be friends with them or not talk with them since I didn't feel comfy with it. She refused to do either and it turned out ots because she was cheating on me for almost a year. Trust your gut no matter what
Had to end a 5 year relationship, we were engaged even. In hindsight, lots of these were part of the relationship but I wasn't paying attention, I wanted to believe that things would be better in the future but after so many years I just couldn't do it anymore. I was losing myself, avoiding making female friends so she didn't feel insecure, sometimes skipping work because "I worked too much" to spend time with her instead, and lots of guilt. It was hard at first but I quickly learned that I was better off
I've been trying to break up with my boyfriend, because of this many and more red flags related to extreme clinginess, loss of identity and lack of trust towards me. But he is unable to let me go, he stops replying just to avoid the conversation and makes up excuses everytime, he blames me for not appreciating him enough, but i'm just drained and sad with having his love.
Im 31 years old and I never had a healthy relationship…this really opened my eyes .. I have expressed each and every one of these to partners I dated and I was always told I was the problem lol …. 😂😭😢
I'm really afraid of being toxic on relationships. I moved out of my parent's apartment last year, and only just started making relationships that weren't super toxic. My housemate is amazingly kind and patient and has helped me open up a lot last year. But I feel the urge to be clingy and untrusting. I don't want to feel so clingy and untrusting. And I try so hard to not show it but I'm afraid of it leaking out.
My issue with this is that - I trusted my boyfriend and that made things worse - if I’m constantly asking where he is and to prove to me he isn’t cheating on me constantly like he has before
i constantly lie to my friends about things , even for no reason at all. Ive been so used to it that I'm a pro at it. Its such a bad habit, i have low self esteem and im not going to let that ruin my relationships by my lying habit. Im stopping myself as much as possible to not lie about anything. I just wanna tell this to my friends, my close friends dont even trust me anymore and i want to tell this to them. This is really something i hate about myself and am so embarrassed about
Guys, Today I'm going to end my love for someone, it's been 3 years me loving her... It's now became to the point where I'm thinking that my love for was of lies. She's completely a different person. I had blindly believed in her. Now it's unfolding everything. she recently said she also loves me, but I think my love was one sided all the time, and I was happy with that. and continued to love her knowing she doesn't love me. But after realising who she is, my love for her is dying, im feeling like i loved the lie. I have decided to end my hopes and everything for her. Its time to move on. there's no going back.... tonight I'll let her know that I'm moving on.
I am currently stuck with someone who has done all of these things, a lot they still do and I’m fighting to leave and figure a way out. The mental battle I have had to wage with myself and the war I waged to regain a foothold in reality has nearly killed me. I wish I never met him and stupidly had a child with them, while I don’t regret my youngest I regret everything else
What if you used to trust the person and then you find out they were lying to you about something that was major and now you can’t trust anything they say….?
i think that its not with a boyfriend/girlfriend or partner, for me is more for a friend, that almost everyday makes me feel like a bad person with gaslighting, but i dont know how to get away from it.
There are a few more I'd add, such as: lacking empathy, focused on themselves, etc. So, today, think long-term but only act short-term and use protection. Peace.
I find trouble finding out of a friend of mine is fake or real. I'm confused about it because they are nice mostly, they just.. well, they start disagreements that are, quite dumb, actually. Telling me; "Oh, i'm older than you. You need to listen to me." i ususally joke about these things that they say, and then we do laugh about it a bit. We have things of a healthy relationship, i just, it's hard to keep it, and i never find myself wanting to be with them anymore. It would be nice if anyone could help me with this, these are the things they have done, the negative things. 1: Stealing (Sneaking items from my house to keep themseves, after i've told them they can't have it.) 2: Asking for favors, although i don't mind it, they don't even say thank you. 3: Stupid disagreements. (I'm older than you so i decide what you do!") 4: Lying (Saying they have no other friends, the next day walking and chatting with their entire class.) 5: Not liking me around most times. I do give them space, the only times i can be around is if they are with no one. if they are with anyone, i'm "Embarrassing"
I have a question. Today, I found out my partner went through my iPad while I was asleep. I’ve been backstabbed and left when I tell someone something about myself that they don’t like, and they usually don’t give me a chance to correct myself. I have horrible trust issues and I’m trying to be more open. I know I hurt my partner by not telling them when I’m not okay or when they hurt me, but I fear being abandoned and that deters me from telling them my emotions. I write music to express my emotions when I’m feeling sad or angry or hopeless, and they are usually things that I don’t want to talk about right away. My partner and I gave each other our passwords. I did because I thought that they would never go through my phone or my iPad. Today, they told me that they went through my iPad while I was asleep and read some of the songs that I wrote. When I heard this I was terrified, hurt, and it made me lose some trust in them since they waited to tell me for months. They then started telling me that I needed to express my emotions and talk to them. I was wondering if I’m wrong for being upset that they had searched my iPad without telling me, or if I’m the one in the wrong for not expressing these emotions? Thank you for reading this, and I hope you have an amazing day.
Woah, no, it's never ok to invade someone's privacy like that. NEVER. And he kept it a secret for months? How many times do you think he has been looking? Don't give your passwords out. Change it and dump that guy. Total creep move, going behind your back and through your personal information 🚩🚩🚩 You are not wrong for being upset. That is a perfectly normal and acceptable reaction to somebody violating your boundaries.
No, you have every right to be upset. Your privacy being disrespected always hurts, especially when it's someone you're really close to and you didn't except to do it. I can understand that it must be very hurtful that they saw something you didn't want to share or weren't ready to share yet. But on the other hand, they may have been worried and not have known what else to do since you didn't share what you're actually feeling. You being so closed off to them probably hurt them, even though it's not your fault that it isn't easy for you cause of trust issues. But they could've tried to talk to you and get you to open up instead of doing that. They didn't seem to have had bad intentions but I would change your password if you haven't yet cause invading your privacy just ain't okay and you don't know, whether they'd do it again. But you should talk with them about it. Maybe they'll realize their mistake and not repeat it.
All of this stuff seems common sense to me. And I‘m only 16. How is this stuff that people don’t know about. 12 year old me would have seen this as common sense.
How do you treat a partner that is constantly accuses of been disrespectful and compare you with someone else.He Always tells you how bad your character is
i should’ve left my first serious relationship the moment i discovered he was cheating on me. and i should’ve left my most recent ex when he looked through my phone while we were drunk. i wish i had been strong enough to realize that i don’t need a partner to feel whole. and i shouldn’t have made excuses for their shitty behavior just because i loved them.
Today is our 10 year anniversary of dating. And she won't see me or communicate and doesn't want anything to do with me, So, I do not care anymore about trying when I'm rejected yet needed when it matters to them. I will never again allow myself to put someone else before myself.
I've been thinking on something for a while now and I figured it might be a good idea to say it here. So I've been wondering, what exactly is attraction and what causes it? I have my own definition but it feels like it's lacking something and I'd like to hear other people's opinions If you want my answer to it, here ya go: "The urge for a stable and genuine connection in one's life from another being who shows signs of being likeable and capable of forming a lifelong relationship with" It just feels like that explanation leaves a lot out while still being right and I'm not so sure on the whole lifelong relationship bit but that's how I see it and I am told I have way too high standards for friends
I'd suggest simplifying the definition. I mean, if we think about it, we ARE attracted to platonic friends, and certain business acquaintances, too... NOT just lovers. Every contact you keep up IS some kind or category of relationship, even that particularly helpful and straight-talking teller at the bank or the slightly chubby bearded guy who can tell you anything "DIY" at the hardware store... SO attraction is "interest" in the most basic term... Whether you're interested for sexual reasons or platonic reasons or even profession or hobby interest reasons... It's ALL still "attraction". Whatever quality or qualities someone has that gains your interest in the relatively short term is their list of "attractive traits"... at least to you. Only YOU can decide what satisfies the list of attractive traits you look for actively, and by that same token, only YOU can decide what traits and qualities might be "deal breakers" in a friendship, business relationship, or sexual partner... etc... Some qualities maybe "should be" deal breakers in any relationship, kind of like the unilaterally toxic list suggested by the video above... BUT some are more personal and may be arbitrary or carry some "weight" as triggers or sensitivities to us individually. We don't always get a lot of choice about what our Deal Breakers are. We CAN work on that, but there's only so much "progress" that can be made. Once your interest has been gained, it's still up to you as much as the other person to decide whether or not to pursue a relationship and what type, scale, or scope of relationship it is that you'll pursue. Acquaintances come and go all the time, whether they're classmates at school or some other training class/course;/etc... co-workers... or regular clients/customers. It's a loosely friendly circle of people we see regularly and are often quite temporary in our lives. High School ends and we move off to college, so those "friends" from school grow apart, find careers, travel away, and disappear... Businesses rise and fall similarly quickly, so co-workers can get fired or furloughed, laid off, change careers, and also become temporary... Lovers can come and go until we settle on "the one" for the long haul... AND there's still no guarantee for the future, so that might not always work out according to plan... What happens to convince you to move from whatever attraction to exploring someone's other traits and flaws as you become closer friends or move on to others is up to you. I've been told by wiser people than me that our perfections make others like us, but it's our flaws that make other people love us... I don't know how true it is, exactly, but without our flaws there's no humanity, nothing to make us individual characters. There's something to it, at least. ;o)
This question might not be relatable to the video but, I have a partner, and we love each other, today I asked if she was feeling good with me, and she told me that sometimes she feels like I don’t like her, I like and love her, so the questions is, what should I do? I know communication is the base of a relationship but idk. If someone can help me with this I’ll be so grateful, thanks for your time
