I'm a 22 year old girl, currently wheelchair dependent, and one of the tiniest people in the world; so when people hold open doors for me, not only do I thank them, I always make sure that I do it with the biggest smile on my face [even if I feel like sh*t that day, which happens quite often] because there's no rule that dictates that someone always HAS to or SHOULD be opening doors for me [especially in this day and age] so if it does happen, it's always met with much appreciation from me. Same for last bites of food, I never take the last bite until I ask the entire group if they want it before I make sure that everyone is okay with me taking it.
And this is why when I do chose to actually start dating, I am not looking forward to my generation of guys' "manners". Chivalry is in my generation is so rare, you'd probably win the lottery before actually seeing many people with manners. Well, at least in Canada we almost always hold the door open, so I guess that is still alive...
I know- I wasn’t looking forward to my generation’s manners 20 years ago when I started dating. There were guys with bad manners (or a lack of manners). My husband has the best manners! Don’t give up. You’ll find a guy with good manners.
I agree with what you guys are saying. But on the fill up the gas in the car. What they mean is that the man shouldn't just sit inside the car and let the woman go inside and pay for the gas, and to fill it up. If that make sense.
You guys are awesome. Moms/Dads, if you want your sons to have a lady, teach your sons how to be a gentlemen. And if you want your daughters to have a gentlemen, teach them how to be a lady. It all boils down to respecting one another.
From my point of view as a 19 year old girl, I agree with nearly every point you brought up. I do want to say though, the forehead kiss, while it's definitely not chivalrous, it is some how really sweet in my mind. I don't know, something about that feels very genuine. Let's be honest, a lot of young guys only ever kiss on the lips and then expect to be made out with not long after starting to date. So a kiss on the forehead instead, (to me at least) seems like he's more interested in her as a person and isn't just looking for instant gratification. And OH MY GOSH! Usually, people where I'm from are pretty good about opening doors for each other, but I have seen guys rush to get in front of a lady to get through the door first and let it shut on her! I don't see it often but it happens. So rude!
And you guys single? Hopefully not. You two are the definition of a gentleman and chivalry. Just thinking that one day a guy will do all those things to me, I get happy and my heart melts ahead.
New York suddenly doesn't sound that inviting to me anymore hhahahha...I thought holding doors for people was a common thing. I mean, as a girl I do it too, even for men. Chivalry overall may be dead but luckily there are still some guys like you who have manners! Don't ever lose that!!
Yeah! I hold doors open as a girl. I don't think that it should be something that only guys can do, it's a polite thing that you should do when you reach a door before someone, and "thank you" should be a given, even though it's not....
Guys should more often hold doors for women though, he should be a gentleman. Girls can open doors too, but men are stronger and should treat women gently.
Oh my goodness thank you guys so much! Honestly I’m so sad thinking about how many guys would have no clue what you’re talking about. On behalf of the female population, thank you guys so much and I really appreciate it!! Bring chivalry back! 💗
You guys crack me up. Getting home after a rough day, I end up just watching you guys while I'm making dinner, and it just brightens me up. Thanks for doing these videos.
The fact that you said "my best friend" and not "my boyfriend" tells us all we need to know. Yea, most, if not all, guys have been there at this point. We're done with it. BTW I just finished watching a video of a woman telling of the the women guys in prison are getting and telling guys they need to get arrested to get a girlfriend. And if you need any more proof, do a search on women love Wade Wilson. I rest my case, hour honor.
You guys are amazing. My guy does most of these but giving your umbrella away made my heart melt. That would make my week and I would never ever forget it.
I freaking love you two. Thank god for you guys saying this! And with the walking a girl home thing, I was only in New York for a couple weeks and I didn't want to walk along those streets alone! A couple of these things would probably make me stare at you like you're crazy, but the majority of these I do for the people I date! (I'm bi) And the random gestures thing is seriously the one that always makes people so happy. I've literally had a past girlfriend look like she was about to cry, and a guy choke up a bit, because she felt loved from just buying her a copy of her favorite book. And to explain the forehead thing: It feels safe, at least for me. I anxiety and my Dad would hug me and kiss my forehead to calm me down. Now my best friend and the majority of the people I've dated will do it. It's a thing about being shorter then the person kissing your forehead (I'm 4'10'' on a tall day.) and it just feels like a simple comforting thing. And they make me so much happier then a cheek or lips kiss. Anyway, lots of typing, love you guys!
Dan was like: "Who does that, who does that??!!" at 22:50 and I couldn't help but LOL! I kinda understand the meaning behind a kiss on the forehead (which goes well along with a warm hug). Not only does it melt my heart but it is also a very subtle way to show that you are caring and wanting to prortect your significant other. To me, it's an act of motivation too, like when you're having a hard time at work or with your study and your GF or BF kisses you on your forehead, you'll feel instantly better and safe, knowing that your significant other is here for you and he or she will always back you up no matter how down you are. It's almost therapeutical O.O So to sum up: small gesture but great effects! Thx for the vids guys, I really enjoy watching them ;)
I hate when people open the door for me when I'm quite far away, not that I hate manners but it just pressures me to get rid of my standard walking pace and walk faster to not trouble the other person for too long :/
I completely agree with y'all! It makes me happy to see how strongly y'all feel about this subject. I wish more guys had proper manners as "muscle memory". Also, I totally agree with the closing statement that not being chivalrous shows selfishness.
Opening doors is just a given...except for the car door, I would rather just get it myself instead of standing there and waiting for hubby to do it for me, especially if it's cold out or raining - I'm hopping in as fast as possible! And I'm just impatient xD
I 100%agreed about opening the door, mostly people don't say thank you, when I hold the door. I still help my gf put on her jacket and the flower and kissing forehead is just an act of love towards your significant other. The others so call chivalrous habits are questionable. I notice nowadays when i do some of those things, girls really don't appreciate it or think it's weird. Dan I agreed with walking a girl home. When I offer to bring a girl (gf/friends) home after a late night of some event. They think you are trying something more than being nice, but really you just want to be nice to them and make sure they're safe. (most of them never had a guy walk them home)
the guy with the red shirt should learn how to let other people finish their talk.. the guy with the blue shirt tries to do his saying and you just keep rushing and hushing and just cut him off...
Generally the things on that list are pretty nice (except the elevator thing. I honestly hate that; just get out tha way!), but if someone insists on doing any of them even if the other person repeatedly says "no thank you" or asks them to stop, it becomes an issue. For example, I've seen it happen a few times on public transit where a man will offer his seat to a woman who is standing, and then, despite her saying "no thank you" over and over, will stand up anyway and insist that she sit. A person can be chivalrous all they want, but the moment they don't respect someone else's choices, it stops being chivalry. I think that's generally what people have a problem with.
I always thought about it as a sign of politeness instead of chivalrous. Holding the door for the one who's coming behind should be a normal thing to do.
Mei Wang Very true. It's rude to slam the door shut on the face of the person who's coming behind you. That too with the automatic doors these days. They close so fast.
Thank you, guys, so much I have been trying to keep up my chivalry and this is bringing my attention to more chivalrous acts and polite things to do. Thank you!
+Christopher Daly Amen, and vulgar acting women did the same, but there are still a few women around who know how to act deserving of considerate gestures. It ain't many, though.
I personally don't like the car door one unless both people are approaching the car around the same time. Otherwise it feels awkward to watch the guy walk all the way around the car
at around the 15 min mark, I do have to say something. Not all women will respond to gifts the same way. I read this book called "the Five Love Languages" and it talks about different ways that people like to receive love and that everyone has a different love language. Me, I do like gifts, but what would make me very happy are hugs. Hugs are awesome. My mom, she likes acts of service. My brother, gift giving. Yeah, we had an entire night where we talked about this, but it also explained why certain reactions are different and it can help people grow closer to each other.
Yes, chivalry is dead. Especially if the woman you are meeting has really low standards everything beyond that might scare her off. Happened to me recently, when I was told I'm too much of a gentleman and like something out of a romantic film for 1)opening the door, 2) trying to help her take off her jacket and 3)paying the bill at the restaurant I invited her to. How the hell is this too much? I treat both men and women like this (ok, taking off the jacket is typically reserved for women only), I treat my grandma, mom, dad, friends, former teachers and even people I don't or barely know the same way with a few exceptions: - if the woman has a closer friend or even boyfriend/husband - in this case if he doesn't do it, me doing it will basically ridicule the guy, which is not the point here - if the woman has a brother or other relative - again, his job to do it. In this case I may intervene and do it instead, if the dummy doesn't figure out he is supposed to do it. Opening the door for someone - guy or a woman - should be a norm, not a freakin exception. F@cking modern crap all over the media basically told women that, if someone behaves like this, he wants to get them in the sack right away. I'm very upset because of that. Being caring and showing good manners has NOTHING to do with sex or even romance. It's a genuine way to show respect to someone. If I help a grandma cross the street does it really mean I want to have sex with her?!? Like what the actually hell is this time we are living in?!?! I'm gettin desperate here. Do I really have to date 10-15 years older than me women (I'm currently in the beginning of my 30s) for this to not be interpreted as "I want to screw your brains out"?! If I didn't want children, I would be doing that to be honest because then I'll at least know that my way of behaviour will not viewed as me degrading the person I'm with. My last date told me in response of me paying the bill at the restaurant that 1)I should have discussed it with her and 2)she felt that I was buying her off. Basically I was accused of treating her like a prostitute... -_- I found myself apologizing several times because it completely threw me out of the game. Never expected such a reaction. When I'm the host I am used to (and like it!) to take care of my guest(s) regardless of whether I'm hoping to hit it off for another date or just be friends.
This applies to women too. One time at my apartment lobby entrance, there was an Asian lady and the apartment janitor who had a bucket of water and mop about to go in. The lady opened the door and the janitor said "thank you," but the lady just walked right in and didnt bother to hold the door for him. Although I was behind them, it irritated the crap out of me. I ended up holding the door for him. Low faith in humanity.. help me.
Y’all forgot about the stairs. Always follow her going up the stairs, and always walk in front of her going down the stairs. The reasoning behind this is to make sure you’re positioned to catch her if she trips or looses her balance.
I'm watching this to not be chivalry. Because sometimes I'm too nice and I don't like that. However, I don't mind being chivalry to men only because at least they thank me. 😊
Some feminists take it too far.. It's just being a decent human to help others, regardless of sex! I'm a feminist because I believe in equality.. so I'll hold the door for my fiance and protect him, but he does all that for me too.. There is no rule he can't because "equality" but I hold myself to the same standard.
shiloh heckman Jhonny Sygnal Most feminists adopt the 'selective equality' mantra, wherein they believe in equality until the full reality of what it is, and what it, entails lands at their feet; i.e. equal share of the mortgage payment, equal load of unpleasant and grinding manual work in the relationship, equal footing of the bills and financial responsibility, and other not-so-pleasant aspects of 'equality'. Then there is the very real and often lopsided, but legally-adopted-feminst/equal division of assets, house, and never-ever share custody, of broken marriages and relationships, which men are ALWAYS the losers. Chivalry, this from a man in his 50's who has seen it all, is on it's deathbed, and rightfully so! As Jhonny pointed out in his comment below: Chivalry is really not compatible with gender equality, and Men owe women nothing! NOTHING! You are referring in your commentary to common decency and human-to-human courtesy. Chivalry is an extension of 'additional' male courtesies and benefits to women, because they ARE women. Feminists despise men for that, and I, for one, hope men continue to withdraw that courtesy forthwith, an absolutely!
Not only feminists, alot of women expect men to do alot of things. e.g. pay for everything on a date, give her random gifts, open every door in her way, random compliments, ... and tbh i'd do alot of those things IF she doesnt expect/demand it. I got no respect for that kind of woman. Chivalry died when women started being disrespectfull demanding cunts.
I have been married for 30 years my husband is a southern gentleman from day one and has never stopped. Man should always make sure the female makes it home safe
in the past year I've done the door holding, the food bill paying, the last piece offering, the walk home escorting, offered to share my umbrella, reminded about a jacket, and all to females i just was getting to know as a friend with no expectations or ulterior motives. That's how I was raised, its not a submissive thing, not a desperate thing, its having civilized manners and not thinking only about yourself. If it were to have gotten to date level, then pulling dining table chairs, and opening car doors, but yeah whats wrong with refinement, it just proves your not constantly in a fight with everything thats not you.
God what happened to chivalry 90% of what you mentioned I wish a guy would do for me. Most of the time I am the chivalrous one:holding the door open, helping people with there coats, holding the elevator, standing on the bus/subway so a person older then me can sit down or someone in need can. I hate looking around n the subway and seeing people my age (mid 20's) sitting and a person obviously older standing infront of them. Like come on get up let them sit, it's not difficult. Another thing I find is that I am always the last one off the elevator I always hold the door and let everyone else off first even if I am closest to the door. This goes for people of all ages I always let them off first and it drives me nuts when I see young men get off before me or a senior (unless they are right by the door) but half the time they push past to get off first. Arggghh. I am so glad to hear that chivalry is not completely dead but just a rare find. Keep up the videos guys, love them.
I agree with Dan's statement about the feminist magazines telling women what to think and how to act to be an "awesome, empowered woman, etc" and there are seemingly no written things for men about behavior and maturity.
Whenever I find myself a girlfriend, I will do all these chivalry things out of my own joy, it sincerely brings joy to my heart. I don't expect anything back, if it makes her feel special, desired and respected I will do them because it makes me feel good and potentially even make her day! I can already see myself doing these things 😊 (I was an unhappy asshole in my past relationships because I wasn't behaving this way, which I believe is my true self)
I can't believe I've only just found your channel. I love your lists and ideas that you talk about. About what I like about Chivalry, and don't like. For both men and women. 1. Opening Doors. I'm English, and I have always been taught by my mum that opening doors is something that you should do for the person following behind you. And that should make no difference whether you are a man or woman. If you see someone disabled, a child, an elderly person, you should go out of your way to open a door for them to prevent any problems. And if a guy ever opens a door for me in particular, I look him directly in the eye and say thank you. It makes no difference what his age, size, or colour is, I just think it's good manners. Elevators 2. Last bite of food.... Well, I only share with certain people, 'Boyfriend', 'Best Friends', or 'Family'. If it's with other people... no way! And I don't really want to eat the guy's left over pieces of food. I would prefer to know he is full, and enjoys the food rather than knowing he was watching the last piece going into my mouth and observing whether I like it or not. Because if it is the last bit of food it is probably cold by that time. I'd prefer him to eat it. 3. Spending time with the family. If a guy doesn't like my family, or if he doesn't want to spend time with them. I'm dumping him then and there. It might make me cry for a week, but I'm quite sure I'd get over it eventually. There's nothing worse that a guy could say to me. He could call me fat, he could say he cheated, but if he said he didn't like my family, that would be the end of our relationship. 4. Suffered through a girly movie. What?!? A man who's too manly to enjoy a movie from a woman's perspective??? I still don't get the men that think themselves above romantic dramas or women who star in movies. I don't understand. I love watching action, sci-fi, thriller, and drama, so why can't more men think it's totally fine to watch girly movies too. They lump all (Chick Flicks) romances together. I particularly found this the case in New Zealand, when I lived there for seven years. Men in general would refuse to watch romances with their wives, and would cringe when valentines day came around. I don't get why? Does that make you cool and more manly among your guy friends...? I will say, I'm attracted to people with strong opinions, but not if they've never even watched the material they're condemning. I wouldn't consider a guy who enjoys Romantic movies to be chivalrous because I would want to believe he was in the mood to watch them with me, and not suffering through it. If anyone is suffering while watching a movie, it is usually me first, and I'll switch it off or change it!!! I have only ever watched the Bridget Jones... movies once, (with friends) and only once, didn't really like them that much, but Pride and Prejudice.... many times. 5. Sending/Giving Flowers I've never receive real flowers from a boyfriend or any guy, but there was this one guy that liked me that made me an origami flower and I kept it for years. It was beautiful and brilliantly made. Although I haven't received flowers from a guy, my younger sister has. When she received them she called me up to tell me, and when I saw her her face was glowing. She hadn't really even noticed the guy beforehand, but after he send her flowers she went on three dates with him. My Uncle always sends my mother flowers for her birthday, my dad rarely does. They always get put in the centre of our dinning room table, or above the piano, or on the dresser, but a good array of flowers is always shown in pride in our house. And talking about considerate giving, it really doesn't need to be flowers or chocolates. For me, if a guy gets me a gift from the place/country he has just been too. The quality of the gift (whether it was made in the local area and so on) really catches my attention more than if he just bought me the latest thing. For example, a Japanese guy I had just met, whom had just one date with me. Didn't give me flowers or chocolates when he came back to England from Scotland, he gave me a box of different Whisky bottles. I was stunned and surprised. I had never been given that before, and I also knew it was something that Scotland was famous for, and... well I like my whisky. I was so happy about his consideration for Scottish history and not just giving me a typical girly gift, that I took him out to the Imax Cinema in Waterloo London to watch Interstellar before he had to leave to go back to Japan. 6. Walking on the outside of the Pavement (Sidewalk) Always do it. Adults do that for their children, elder siblings for the younger ones, and boyfriends for their girlfriends. But... I don't like men I've just met doing this for me, or to put it simply, the men I don't like doing this for me. It feels to personal and too protective. If the guy has expressed their admiration for me, and I'm still in the unsure period of acceptance or consideration I find it attractive and kind. If the guy has declared he loves me and I have accepted, it even sweeter. But if a guy that has admitted his feelings for me, and I have flatly refused him and don't want much to do with him, but he's in my friendship groups... and he tries to stand there........ well, I would prefer to run ahead and pretend that he isn't there, and get splashed on by as many cars as possible, than to have his protection. I also think it has a lot to do with the guy's mannerisms. Don't get all creepy, act natural. 7. Kissing your forehead. My Dad, my ex-boyfriend, and some of my uncles do this when saying goodbye to me. And when they're tall and a bit out of reach this is one of the nicest things to do. As they aren't trying to stoop over and pull you up into an uncomfortable hug, or give you an awkward kiss on the cheek. It's somehow more respectful than a kiss a the cheek, and the only men I know who have done this to me have been men who are very thoughtful, wise, and kind. Speaking from experience, I think in general the men that kiss women on the forehead, are men that listen. They are showing that they admire the woman on the inside rather than what might be seen on the outside. This has happened when I have told a man a secret or a problem that I have had, or am having, or talked with him about a serious current issue and we have had a long in-depth discussion about it. Touching the forehead says to me, that he admires my mind, and kissing the forehead says he loves the way our conversation went. I have never forgotten a kiss to the forehead. 8. Filling up Gas tank?? Well, In England if any guy offers to service your car for you, you immediately think he's a great guy. Petrol so expensive here... and if he pays for it as well... then first you ask when they've hidden the cameras and if they aren't any, you ask for his number. Because that is just too hot! If your boyfriend's borrowing your car... no if anyone is borrowing your car you give it back with a full tank. That is just common curtesy. 9. Helping to put Jacket on Great. I like it when the guy actually holds my a jacket open for me, but I'm also a very giving person myself, and I will often do the same for him. 10. Walking girls home. Again, for me it depends on whether I trust the guy. If it's a guy I just met a friends party. No way. If he's a handsome guy I just met... no way. Even if I like him. But a long time friend, acquaintance, brother, boyfriend then yes. Great consideration. But only if they themselves are sober enough to do so. I've had a few chivalrous men ask whether I want to be walked home when they have been totally drunk, and I flatly refuse.
I have known women who reacted with hostility to men who have done for them some of the things you mention. I consider many common courtesy, or kindnesses. I don't understand the hostility at all. Keep doing what you do - there are A LOT of us who appreciate it...plenty of us melt too
You guys are gentlemen and courteous. And I hope others can do this not just to impress the women they like only but to practise courtesy to the people they are meeting too.
One thing i think is chivalrous, is when a guy and a girl are driving in a car (this could just be for friends, or it could be for a couple) and the guy says "Hey, what kind of music do you want to listen to?" I think thats really sweet and thoughtful. So guys, if you and your girlfriend or friend thats a girl are driving in the car together going wherever, let her pick the music or at least offer. Im sure she'll appreciate it.
Chivalry has NOTHING to do with women. It's a warriors code between men. Social manners and politeness are NOT chivalry. When women want equality, great. Change your own tire, pay for your own meal, open your own door, fight your own fights, pay your own bills.
The word 'chivalry' has changed and adapted over time to fit new definitions (like how all language changes). The last part of your comment makes absolutely no sense.
@@VoyagerD ....No, it makes perfect sense. Women that want to pick and choose which parts of "equality" they want, are feminazis, and can go to hell. You don't get to claim you're a "strong & independent" woman without doing ALL of your own work, chores, obligations, and tasks. That is NOT a man's problem anymore. And it was these super-genius broads that squacked, "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle". Society has taken a turn for the worse by letting women vote WITHOUT being required by federal law to register for selective service so they can be drafted, JUST LIKE MEN ARE. You don't get it both ways. And we refuse to help women with car trouble anymore, no matter what the weather. We don't care anymore. We didn't create the problem.
Ahh, I detect a woke red pilled MGTOW. Chivalry is absolutely related to how a man treats a woman, as well as children. I recommend reading some old books by Alexandre Dumas, William Shakespeare, Miguel de Cervantes, Walter Scott, etc. It’s actually based on Bible passages such as: “Defend the poor and fatherless; Do justice to the afflicted and needy.” (Psalms) “Learn to do well; seek judgment, relieve the oppressed, judge the fatherless, plead for the widow.” (Isaiah) “Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.” (James)
@@theden-jimdill7037 Wrong. Chivalry doesn't have anything to do with women at all. "Defending the poor and fatherless" wasn't talking about single-mom whores. Widows are innocent, single-moms are not. They are ALL "single moms" by choice. There's nothing you can tell me about scripture that I haven't already read. You attempt to shame and guilt me into being a "simp/sucker" will never work.
I agree with the comment below by Nikola, you guys are true gentlemen. Its wonderful how you act. because of the length of my comment I sent it to you guys via message instead since I know people on youtube dislike long comments but it was on the subject of your video and meant for you guys so you guys should still receive it. Now if you'll excuse me youtube is suggesting more from you guys~ so I got more vids to go to
I was going on a date and the guy drove to my place to pick me up. As we walked to the car I reached for the door handle to open the passenger side he quickly power-locked the car so I couldn't open the door. He said I need to let him open it for me. Smooth move
From what I am seeing both in various comment sections and in real life, I live in an area where chivalry is common. I was born in LA county. I am a mix of Asian...lol(burmese, canto, mainland chinese, korean, viet). My parents went out of their way to make sure they branded me with manners(not literally brand me). I do everything the Chens mentioned. I do it because I see it as common sense. I went to Arcadia high(Asian dominated) and spent all of my childhood with friends and classmates that share the same etiquette. When I read the comments and see in the social media where people no longer have that simple level of respect or courtesy saddens me. It makes me want to slap common manners into some people. Simple one: throwing away your fucking trash. The trash can is within arms length... fucking put it in the bin! LOL so for a first date, I kind of want to ask if "you" would like to split the bill just to see the reaction. Then be like... did you really think I was being serious. I will never SPLIT A FKING BILL with a date. Its not a thousand dollars... If it was like a thousand dollar dinner... you my friend are in a different social status.
You guys are right, seems like people now a days are more prone to instant gratification rather than something deeper. My bf is very gentlemen like, always insisting on doing certain chores that are outside, not because I can't do them, but because it's safer if he goes rather then a small Asian girl. I've always been very independent, but I totally appreciate his devotion to the small things that make traits like opening the door, holding it for strangers, going out of his way to help people helps me love him all the more. Selfishness is unattractive and has a week ora, and Selflessness builds karma :)
Carry her baggage; pick up what she drops even if she's nearer; carry seat to her and/or offer seat, even if it's a classroom where seats are valued, then other men follow suit; Stand when she enters or leaves; hold her hand when crossing dangerous/ unstable situations; walk before her when climbing staircase and in front when descending; defend her honor if it will not compromise her safety; let her eat first as well as last (which you mentioned); leave last if it's necessary to part separate ways, perhaps the person will have car issues or something else; also someone mentioned it's awkward to hold door open when person is far; I suggest to wait near the door and pretend to occupy yourself (cellphone, watch, fix clothes) until she is near, then open door. Also when another person is stuck opening a door for a torrent of people, excuse that person and resume the task. And other stuff that occurs to me when the opportunity presents it; if there is anything to add, please do. And if you and she have no choice but to walk the distance, you insist you carry her there.
So funny story. My hubby and I moved to Japan a few years ago. For the first few weeks he opened my car door for me. He NEVER did this for me in the states. It took me a while to realize that he was only opening my door to cover up the fact that he'd walked to the wrong side of the car out of habit (we drive on the opposite side of the road from the US here in Japan). He was not trying to be nice. It was very disappointing. Gentlemen, OPEN THE DOOR! He has many other amazing qualities, though.
Being from a rural part of the US these things happen all the time, it is just normal. I guess large cities are different or I am just good at choosing a kind man. Either way this is the reason why I am with my fiancee. He does all these things for me and I do it for him as well, it is just the nice thing to do.
huh you know when you've done these kinds of things for a long time you just become desensitized to it like when I visit a big city like last month I was in Baltimore and I was going to a university for a visit and I held the door open for this guy and he asked me "Why are you holding the door open? It's a waste of time" and I had an epiphany "why am I doing this?" then I realized "why am I listening to a guy that looked like he just came out of a night club?"
wow. just wow. I watched tihs and just was awestruck. I'm and girl and no guy has ever done any of these for me. It is so nice to know that at least two men in the world know how to do the right thing. Your girls are so lucky.
Flowers on a whim and spontaneous gifts can not work out, sometimes. It was something i did for months with an old girlfriend and she seemed to always appreciate it. One day I brought her flowers and presented them to her and , with no humor in her voice, she said, "What did you do!?" as if i was bribing her for some wrong doing. And really, it was because our work schedules had been crazy and it was the first time we were able to get together for nearly a week. There was no foundation for that accusation and i was pretty hurt by that. Sadly, it made me rethink spontaneous gifts for her.
Holding the door open for someone behind you is normal here in Canada. New York sounds intimidating. I've never been there but I would love to visit someday.
You guys are sweet ^_^ One act of chivalry I always thought was unnecessary is when a guy would put their jacket over a puddle for the female, I guess so their shoes wouldn't get wet or something? Idk I'd feel bad for ruining their jacket
Walking on the outside towards the street is also because most people are right handed, and when you draw your sword to protect someone, you don't want them to your right. You want them on your left, so you don't cut them. Highest ranking soldier always walks to the farthest right because they were traditionally the best swordsman. In the military, we still walk like this.
A lot of times, I pretend I don't see people so I don't need to hold the door or the elevator open for them :P But then again, I try to avoid people. For reference, I live in New Jersey.
im not from NJ so i dont understand the referance but.. hplding a door will take a second of your time and maybe the person wont apreciate it but at some point people will notice it and it makes it worth that second.
You guys have some really good points, especially the first few actions. Some of these would completely annoy me as a woman though... seriously? pull out my chair every time? Make me wait for someone to open my car door? ^ ^; Omg no thanks. I know a gentleman when I see one, but you can't go overboard and treat me like I'm useless. Aaaanyways, thank for this. You two are adorable :)
Something I don't do personally (as I'm not married nor in a long term relationship) but my father used to do all the time (which my mother appreciated, and still does even after his death) is waiting for her to be home, at the table, before he'd eat. Or rather, he wouldn't eat in general if she was around or soon to be around but wasn't at the table with him. It was a matter of principle for him; "I'm not taking a bite until she's sitting next to me at the table." Nothing extreme or anything, not like he'd forgo dinner for a week if my mother wasn't home; but say dinner was ready and she was at work for another hour or two. He'd wait. If she was finishing up in the shower, he'd wait. Didn't really bother him that the food would get cold, he just preferred to eat in the company of his wife. Me and my brother would eat as we pleased, we weren't forced to take part in his customs, but looking forward I think that might be a tradition I'm willing to keep alive if I ever get the chance.
Elevators actually have an opposite door. A man goes in first, goes out last. Because if elevator falls, a man falls leaving women and children safe, or first out of it.
Hi, I just want to add another chivalrous act and that would be, "Seranade your girl". Well, it's a plus if you know how to sing but even if you don't, just try, I'm sure it'll be a romantic scene that melts her heart. 😍😍😍😍😍 That's why I love asian men, co'z they still practice those things that you've mentioned. Every lady loves to be treated as if they're a princess. 😍😍😍😍😍 Btw, regarding with the kissing on the forehead, in the Philippines it means "respect" so I agree with that to be added on the list.
There used to be an unwritten code of conduct that everyone understood and accepted. Today, a genuinely kind and courteous gesture from a man toward a woman can be taken as intended or taken as an assault. Women cannot agree on what is acceptable and unacceptable. If you open a door for a woman, half the women will thank you, the other half will insult you. This raises another point. Why is it that men surrender all agency in defining acceptable behavior? Women have demonstrated that they make poor arbiters of civil behavior. Until women can agree amongst themselves, I refuse to give any woman a vote on these matters. I also follow the Pence Rule and recommend other men do the same.
Please teach a class on this you too. Im serious. You guys are ideal gentlemen, its both attractive and kinda jaw dropping. Guys i know are nothing like that.
You're right, at that the kissing on the forehead is definitely not a chivalrous thing; but I believe that maybe the kissing on the forehead may be seen as something more "special" as it shows that a guy really do love and want to protect the girl, and genuinely care like you would when a parent kiss a child rather than it just being a kiss?
This is really odd ! I mean holding the doors and whatever is related to Humanity not Chivalry ,we do these things because we appreciate the other (Human) , but lots of people don't understand that , Great advices guys thank you :)
wow. You guys are so cool. in school in the morning if there is someone behind me even if they are kinda far away i will hold the door for them and sometimes i get thank you but sometimes i just get a weird look. I live in Sweden, but im a girl and im in middleschool so maybe im just weird. Anyway you guys are AWESOME.
Nice points guys... N yes, all of these are appreciated! Not always necessary, but definitely appreciated! Personally, I'm a girl and I tend to do a lot of these things as well... I actually wrote a rant on rude people and one of my thoughts was that 'common courtesy is actually NOT THAT COMMON'!
i love you guys !!! well mannered and classy just the way it should be :) no other way , when you come from cultural environment its your genetics . amen to good manners
I wish more guys (like teens), knew and were more chivalrous towards females. It warms my heart when I see a teenage boy showing acts of chivalry (I'm 14 years old)
I'm a 15 yr old, and I do practice chivalry. It is, however, agonizing to see how fellow teens treat women, and even each other. I do hope someone or something brings back chivalry in a big way, because it is rare. But maybe that is what makes it so good to see.
1. Offer the lady help if she is having problems with something, it can be like here bags, or even some shoes she is trying on for the first time and can't figure out how to put them on. Don't treat her like a child or that she is dumb, just ask her nicely "Excuse me, would you like some help?" and if she says yes, then go ahead and help her out, if not then say "O.k then, I'm sorry to brother you. Please don't take it the wrong way, if I come out very uncomfortable to you. I thought that you would like some help, but I was wrong. Have a wonderful day, and please be careful while going home." That is just normally what you will do when you are being gentlemanly to a stranger, but if it's your girlfriend or even a friend "girl" then you can say "I'm sorry I thought that you needed help, so that's why I asked. And I feel very dumb to come up to you in, jumping conclusions about how you feel."
and the sidewalk thing i thought was because you have less probabilities of being robbed or abducted, the guys is your guard. I know my city sounds nasty but really late at night in dark places or going out of a club it makes you feel more secure and it totaly shows he cares
You're singing my song, Dan. Being brought up here from generations of Americans, opening the door (even the car door) is simply courteous. When in Chinese or Taiwanese areas I'm constantly amazed at how inconsiderate Asian guys, boyfriends, and husbands are, not only to their girl, but to everyone around them. Fact is, I'll more times than not see the guy slow down coming up to the door so SHE will arrive at the door first! Absolute jerks without a clue that only Asian women would tolerate that. Apparently dating in a bubble only benefits the Asian guys. Gotta say though, my Chinese buddies who are second generation American don't do this.
Filling the gas tank does not have to be you paying for it, if is cold outside and a stranger is going to pump the gas just offer to hold the pump and ask her to wait inside the car so she gets out of the elements.
