[1588] My 36 Inch King Dick Wrecks Locks! 

It just showed up for me this morning! 🤣

Just got it

Just got it

Same 😂

I'm so mad at RU-vid. It took about 30 seconds into the video before I realized that I missed LPL's April fool's video

💯 agreement

I also like WestJet's videos on April 1 but they can be hit and miss. LPL is consistently solid.

Captain's Workplace also used to be really good if you're into computers. But last year was just an update and this year seems to be a no-show.

torque test channel did one where they had a fake branded tool made, but only revealed it halfway through the video after this new "makita" delivered very disappointing results. I thought that one was fun.

Fascinating horror (disaster videos) does a great one every year breaking down a disaster that inevitably is a movie

Gotta be the lawyer part of the name 😂

MWAH! Goodnight, everybody!

@@WackoMcGooseGoodnight Wacko McGoose! :3

That's his fetish😉

Never mind that. The sheer volume of bananas in that beaver was astounding.

That's dark

The most tragic part of being blind is the puns you miss.

@@RaquelFoster I would say not seeing cars/hazards is the worst part, but missing the puns is the most tragic.

@@RaquelFosteryeah you don’t see the irony

Yt captions be like... :( deaf ppl can read.

I was always told 4 inches is enough 😭

​@@oldmedstudent1750Now I know why I'm single... again 😢😂

I would guess that he has been to the MIB wault and has taken a neuralyzer

same 😂

I've been watching him for 5 years but this is the first April Fool one I've caught. But I'm not on RU-vid daily. Only a few times a week.

That's what she said!

😔

@@ryanwhiteman9492 I arrived to this thread 42 minutes late to say the same thing

this was good, well played ! lol

It finally came

i know man

LPL's April 1st is not for child, nor for adult who not act like a child.

don't be an adult, there's no fun in that.

[Sarcasm] Why? This an informative video, with a bunch of branded wrench of various length and LPL is very helpful showing them all, why is it funny? [Sarcasm]

Yyyyuuuuuuuuuuu7u7mooooorrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeee

Go back to every April 1st video. This was actually light on the innuendo and heavy on name gags.

I mean... These are all popular and well-established tool brands. Idk why, but there's a lot of tool brands that sound dirty.

... and by the fact how he can be quite lewd and funny without using a single profane word

@@sparksmcgee6641 The single best is still the Backdoor one. Most impressive fact in that one is also him managing to not show his fave a single time in any of the reflective surfaces around.

@@theexchipmunk yeah it was.

😂😂😂

That’s the kind of thing that people with small tools always say.

i would have upvoted, but its at 69 likes. nobody touch this

@@taylorolson6228 well 100 ppl couldn't resist

Ohhhh yeah. You slam a 36" tool into someone's back door and you're probably gonna wreck it forever.

He's a lawyer, he can sell the biggest BS in a courtroom if he has to... this video is just a walk in the park.

the script is insane

The videos wouldn't be nearly as good without the unwavering deadpan delivery. It's amazing.

I need to see the bloopers from these April fools videos

the fact it isn't age restricted

Same here

I was really hoping for a twist at the end, with that seamen dropping out of Nick's wife's kitty 😢

Just be thankful that the YT automated AI thought police didn't auto correct your reply by losing an 'A' thinking it was a typo..🤔🤭

Until he said seamen, I thought the gag was going to be "I was a little disappointed to find a few sailors had gotten in there before I had."

Me too lol :D

Cool

Sounds hot. Do you two ever make love?

🤨

Wenches , Damn you autocorrect.

🥵

same siivagunner's april fools event had my full attention and I forgot about LPL's

Same. I'm happy to stumple over it only two days late though.

Late is better than never

i'm 2 days late and i can't believe i missed it! gotta check if @chrisfix did one now

They say: "it's not the size of the vessel but the motion in the ocean." true sailors say " It's neither the size of the vessel nor the motion in the ocean, but whether all passengers get off."

And it's always dragging on the ground....

That’s why you gotta hold it firmly in both hands

it does

Very true: LPL makes it look easy penetrating all of those locks on video but it's really a "one and done"

Carrying around that much pipe-laying tool was leave you lightheaded as the blood goes where it's needed. Can you imagine having to get through security with that thing?

Has anyone counted the number of innuendos in this video? 😂

That's what she said.

god I wish that were me

Even with a 36" KingDick!!!

Fr tho 😂 Maybe Master Lock is better at building hardware than locks

hey bbg wyd

It offered hope if that is all you got to work with.

We appreciate a 4 inch king

Size doesn't matter, only how you use it.

Warning!! If you are 11 days out of quad bypass heart surgery from military service. DON'T watch this Video! My heart pilow didn't work.

Did you notice that it responded to his warm gentle hands and got longer. Mmmm, someone may have a secret he's hiding in a closet. 😱

An excellent video, but I fear he will never match, let alone top, the episode about his ex’s back door.

Have been waiting all day, and LPL didn't disappoint.

Lest diapers be part of your lifelong attire.

😮😂😂😂

Yeah, you slam a 36" tool into someone's back door, you're going to ruin it.

@@Martell-XOdude,thats too much man, common now😮

Words of wisdom for sure.

Not gonna lie, I forgot it was Apr-1 until I saw this in my feed 😅

This and the BMW print adverts

I've told a few friends about his videos that come out on this day. I've been waiting since last year's. But, alas, no "Let's try again to ensure it wasn't a fluke." so that means no drink for me this morning. Well, at least not as a result of the fluke drinking game I play.

Well done sir... Well done! 😂😂😂

As a retired Universal Soldier, can confirm. Standard Operational Procdure was to let it hang low to the left, but we generally carried them over the shoulder. During covert ops, we might tie it something like a knot, or occasionally a bow.

​@@charlieschuder9976 new procedure is to tuck it in your shirt. Don't want it dangling in the dirt.

@@ashtonhoward5582I actually had to dangle for work yesterday. I was a little nervous at first because two of my managers were watching me dangle, but one of them said I was the best dangler they'd ever seen. Unfortunately, the step-ladder they first gave me was too short, so they had to bring out the 30-foot ladder so I had enough clearance to dangle properly. You just have to make sure you don't dangle your danglers too low, otherwise the high school kids want to do a vert test on your danglers. That's why my danglers always wind up crooked and dangling slightly to the left.

My girlfriend wanted to learn her way around some plumbing but she got intimidated when I pulled out my big Husky tool and put it in her box.

Took me a second, but then I remembered that even though it's the 2nd of April, gotta wait another 24 hours until the April 1st ends

@@SuperLifestream you live in New Zealand?

​@@SuperLifestream I feel the same way going the other direction. I'm UTC -6, so I get April Fools stuff starting the afternoon of March 31st.

@@Just_A_Dude I'm in -8! I saw so much stuff for April Fools on the 31st

Hulloooo sailor ;)

He may have found someone else's seaman in his wife's beaver? Yea, that's not good.

Every other April, he is talking about his girlfriend. The man cannot have peace.

@@TheOJDrinker maybe that's just how they roll

Maybe the foreign seaman got their via his friends 4 incher.

I laughed at this (I found it hilarious)

@@lowqualitypaddler I concur with you (my response to the original post coheres significantly with yours)

(Fucking) amazing

​​​@@wallabra Indeed, I find myself in unequivocal concordance with your assertions. Upon careful deliberation and introspection, I must concede that my sentiments align harmoniously with the views you have expounded. It is with a profound sense of intellectual camaraderie that I acknowledge the veracity and cogency of your discourse. Therefore, I hereby extend my utmost approbation and assent to the propositions you have posited, recognizing them as eminently sound and deserving of acclaim. (Your perspicacious elucidation of the matter at hand has not only captivated my intellect but also engendered within me an unwavering conviction in the rectitude of your stance.)

​@@wallabra coheres is not a word. Coher is not a verb.

Yes! And what kind of screws or bolts did you use? Also what kind of lumber is behind that hasp?

There is a masterlock logo on the thing :O

The shocking thing is that is a Master Lock hasp.

I'm just glad he didn't use it to lay a pipe in his neighbours kitchen because it would've surely ruined their home. A king dick like this comes with great power and great responsibility.

yeah, I thought that was going to snap any second.

my first one. Will make a note of it for next year!

@@geoffhazel2be sure to check out the ones from previous years too

They're always the best 😂

@@geoffhazel2oh, oh man, now you gotta go back and find the other April first episodes. There’s the beaver of course, and the kitty, there’s the Johnson, and the exes back door… I’m fairly certain there’s a couple more beyond those.

​@@geoffhazel2he's included links to the other videos in the description. His wife's beaver, and his ex-girlfriends back door are 👏

No one asked.

@@StoneTheCr0w I asked

@@problemsfan4132lady’s and gentleman we found him!

@StoneTheCr0w no one asked you to comment either bozo.

​@@problemsfan4132where?

Please, don't let us die unknowing!

Sounds like the kind of guy I'd buy a beer for 😂

Did he work on the whole tool, or focus on the shaft?

@@westrim I volunteered for that job. He took care of tightening the nuts.

Apparently, the founder named the company after his pet bulldog. He's still on the company logo, a symbol of tenacity. I have a set of King Dick Whitworth spanners that are older than me.

For the montage I think he should have put the music from the start of Dr. Strangelove... were the Fuel tube is being inserted into the receiver hole of the other plane.

Me too but I don't really mind and the customer seems to appreciate the fact that it takes me half the day to produce results

1/4/24 * 😅

@@raymond19001 - Nordic countries enter the chat: 2024-04-01 👍😁

@@raymond19001 No! Only 2024-04-01 is ISO correct! ;)

That's what she said

It gets bigger when I pull on it.

You mean plumbers like Johnny Sins?

​@@cheesebusiness Remember that most of us are just working at home in the presence of (step-)family, and are not professionals like Johnny Sins.

You shouldn't include China for calculting the average.

Is that the limit of ambition for your home plumbing, just do normal work? You'll eventually get bored and start playing with the neighbour's locks. Make some home projects that need more fancy tooling. In fact, lots of guys these days are getting together with friends, and exchanging jobs and locks to get more experience.

Finally? Comes every year without fail

@@IDontModWTFz remember when he showed us his Tiny Coq?

@@IDontModWTFz Mission failed for saying: "Cums evry year without fail".

He does this every year lol

You must be new here, lol. He does these annually.

That was the only iconic line he really missed. Good catch.

Honestly after wrecking his wife's Beaver with his 36 inch tool, it was pretty much fully destroyed already.

We gotta protect this national treasure at all costs. hehe

There are some really great April Fools Days videos out there, if you're subbed to the right channels. Take a look at Fascinating Horror for some others, in his own genre...

This is basically the only bright spot on this day

Look out, DaiTengu - you stood in poop. 🤭

Well its hard not to knock it out of the park with a 36" King Dick!

LOL. Yes, they did! Thanks for pointing it out!

What a legend, dude can make CC reconsider its career path.

me too!!

your life is tragic

@@yessanknow302 omg how do you know me?

Lol the back door video was hilarious.

And his vday ones are great too

If that was the case every lock would be so big it would barely fit anywhere.

To be fair, thr brick-through-the-window attacks tend to be extremely effective!

Shrouded puck locks are the way to go

"Breaking down the door" strategy is always looked down upon, always make sure you have s stronger door than your neighbour's

Eh, locks are mostly there to thwart stealth. If they're willing to go loud, not much is going to stop them besides steel plates or a bullet.

Innuendo aside is this actually the evolutionary reason for the bend?

​@@moodlethenoodleafaik no, it just happens to be like that sometimes and isn't usually enough of a problem to be selected against

@@moodlethenoodle I don't know, but I do know that for the 1/3 women with a backwards facing uterus (like me) regular positions and straight penises aren't as successful for reproduction - they don't reach deep enough because of the angle. Hence the potential advantages of curved johnsons. That said, each of us is different, so it's impossible to search for a perfect match that is also a good person 😅

No kidding. This video must haven taken forever to film. Cause how could he not be laughing the whole way.

* consummated professional

Leave it to a lawyer to say the most ridiculous things with a straight face.

I have a feeling there's 48+ hours of blooper reels hidden somewhere.

practicing law is a great practice to be able to say the most ridiculous stuff with a straight face

Or at least one 5 year old

I like this comment. At the time of reading it, it has 69 likes. I can't bring myself to make it 70 in respect to the video 👍

Was that in the Adult section of the store? 🤷‍♂

Definitely my favorite line this year.

He has perfect deadpan delivery.

@@ferretyluv he is (was) a lawyer after-all

He's a die hard perv ;)

But we have no idea how many takes it took to get it done without laughing! 😅

Johnson and WANG are real companies, but they don't make pipe wrenches. He just found some stickers and put them on other wrenches for the joke.

​@@hux2000 King Dick is still the funniest one 😂😂

It didn't click at first because we had a King Dick spanners where I lived. This was about 48 years ago and some ladies got an apprentice into a compromised situation using a King Dick ring spanner. It required a hospital visit to remove the ring spanner from his anatomy. It was a harassment joke that went badly wrong.

This was a solid entry but I think I still like the one where he’s being asked to get into his ex’s back door 😙🤌

There are 5 more of previous years. Go wild.

​@@TheMulToyVerse check. The one with his Exes' backdoor was pure gold

It'll get five million views today 😂

LPL as a sight-gag in the background of a Leslie Nielsen scene would be in both their best traditions. Sadly, it won't ever happen. RIP LWN.

basic lawyer training

Definitely repetition. Guaranteed he records each of those lines over a dozen times until he can say it with a straight face.

Probably his wifey is the director of this Kind Dick episode. ;D ;D

When even having a 36 inch tool doesn't help

Delivery.

whats ur pfp from, looks familiar

"Tony's wang"

Yeah, I was looking at his King Dick and it does look like quite a fine tool. (Seriously, that wrench has the look of a device where reliability and durability were considered far more important than cost. It is obvious just by looking that it is a very nice piece of equipment.... god dammit, equipment's an innuendo too!)

@@CptJistuce Right, King Dick doesn't make your average junk!

he smashed that beaver real good!

There are replacement procedures for that kind of damage. But it is safe to say Ms. LPL's beaver is out of commission for a while.

i bet there were several takes

And if it's rusty, can always use some lubrication.

Don't be afraid of the wet hose shop vac to really pick up all the loose oil.

Now I have to call all the stores and see if they carry King Dick tools!

I mean, he certainly nailed that beaver.

I believe you mean, smashed, it hard.

I think he has this gig locked up.

I’m sure he did, it’s called editing

I was waiting for the lube

69 likes on this comment 😆

You're right. If you don't keep your King Dick clean, you'll regret it later.

Did I miss something? It’s a pretty informative video on pipe wrench’s and the locks they can get into. Not sure what you’re talking about with innuendo and double entendres.

They could have only gotten there via the backdoor. Semper Fi!

The able seamen are always ready.

It's especially strong in the morning

My thoughts exactly, like damn that thing took a lot of torque and was still looking straight by the end.

Everyone I know says "after WW3 all that will be left is cockroaches and Master Lock wall hasps", and I always wondered why until now.

their only good product is not a lock 😂

Well as you can see he absolutely destroyed her Beaver with his massive tool, she won't be able to use it for weeks

@@ShawnValseanit’s fine though. It will still allow all the seamen to exit as needed.

Didn't last very long, only 3 hits and then everything spilled out.

It's my first time, but most definitely not the last.

I used to have a King Dick adjustable spanner similar to the 4 inch shown in the video. Mine was a bit bigger, but the same style. Setting the opening was just lovely, almost micrometer like precision, without the slack found in most adjustable wrenches here in N. America. I have often regretted that it somehow got missed when I packed up my tools to bring with me when I emigrated to Canada many years ago.

Oh I thought they were made at the BBC studios.

I did when I woke up and was sad the video was not up yet lol

Every year!

I was reminded of the date last night, so it was my first stop on RU-vid this morning! 😂