I'm a big fan of romance, but I almost never crush on people and I have no particular desire to date anyone, so whilst I'm actively disinterested in the idea of sex, I see romance as "it would be a nice idea, but..."
yeah i feel you, they’re just “what if” thoughts that you can randomly get especially when daydreaming. though i’ll always prefer platonic relations over sexual/romantic irl, if it happens during a thought or daydream i brush it off
I'm an aroace who's relatively recently fallen in love, so I just wanted to share how I identify. I used to strongly identify with cupioromantic, but now I know I'm definitely demiromantic and I know it were those cupioromantic feelings that drove me to open myself up enough to be able to find love. I also identify with aroflux because while sometimes I can't wait to start my forever with my significant other, other times I still feel more aromantic, thoughts coming to my head about how I don't need anyone and would be perfectly happy being single forever (whoops, too late for that). These aro thoughts have NOTHING to do with my partner and everything to do my aromantic self. (feel free to ask questions :) )
Hi! I have a question. How did you and your partner meet? And how did/do you communicate your boubdaries as an aspec person? I’m aromantic and realized that I want a relationship, but find it so scary to date folks cuz what if they view me as weird or insane etc? What if I hurt them by not being romantic or feeling comfortable with romance (I’m romance repulsed and only like it on TV)? Sorry for all the questions >_
@@BrightSunnyDay96 dont worry just be yourself tell them the truth and if they love you and care about you truly hopefully they will except that (but I am aro ace so what do I know about romance)
Same, it's the conflicting thoughts for me that brought me to this video. I feel like I really like the idea one day and the next day I am so excited to live alone and ghost everyone except my fur-kids.
@@BrightSunnyDay96 Ahh, my reply to these questions disappeared (so sorry about that!) We met online over a shared interest and value communication. Letting someone who cares about you know that the reason you're not into something is due to your aspec tendencies and not anything to do with them can really help them not take things personally. The right person will be patient and understanding to your needs, so be upfront with people early on so that you can weed out anyone who would see you as weird or insane.
Everything is so weird. Like, I have liked people and wanted to get to know them, but being perceived as their girlfriend or being openly romantic (holding hands in public and such) makes me REALLY uncomfortable. I don't get how people get into official relationships after three months of knowing each other, I feel like I need so much more time to truly know the person and be comfortable making it more official. Saying I love you in a romantic way too is something that takes me a lot of time to say.
I GET YOU FULLY!! I've never been able to sustain relationships due to how fast paced they are, it feels like it's so easy for some people to say "I love you" in a romantic sense in a short period of knowing someone, but I personally CANNOT do that, it takes me a LONGGG time to form a bond w someone, let alone say "I love you" in a romantic sense.
I hope you never feel pressured to do these relationship things earlier than you're ready to. I've struggled with liking people romantically as an aromantic person for a long time while not wanting to actually do anything romance related with them and forcing myself to strive to do those things despite not wanting them and it's always been a miserable experience for both me and the people I've liked. I don't wish it on anyone and I hope you never have to feel this way
I have never heard of this term before but wow does it feel like me. I have been struggling with how I feel and I’m glad she added this because I feel like I have a starting point on understanding.
@@hawiiankiwi Same! Actually having a word for it definitely makes me feel better cause that means there's enough people like me for there to be a word for it.
This "irregular" makes me realise i'm probably aro because i fell in love very often but now I can't feel any attraction towards anyone and I just can't imagine being in a real romantic relationship even if I want to. Update: I guess i'm a mix of abroromantic and aegoromantic but I prefer just using the label arospec
Up until a few days ago, I didn't know what aromantic was. When people said they were aroace, i thought it just meant the same thing as asexual. But when a few days ago i finally learned that aromantic existed, I've not been able to stop thinking about it. It fits me and the way i feel perfectly, but I'm also kind of scared by it. Up until now, I just assumed i was straight and hadn't found the right person, but learning about aromantics has put my head in a twist. The entire way I viewed myself has been thrown out the window, and now I'm not sure what I am. The idea of aromantic really appeals to me, and I don't feel so weird and strange now that I've finally got a label for what I feel. Yet I'm scared that I might just be overreacting, and maybe I just haven't found the right person. I don't want to get my identity wrong. Come out to everybody, then a few years down the line, realise I'm actually something else. Coming out is also something I'm scared of. Most of my family is really supportive of the LGBTQA+ (really sorry if I've missed any of the letters) movement and the people who identify as a part of it. But my brother is different. He often expresses ideas that are honestly very homophobic. No one in my family likes to think of it or call it that because we obviously don't want him to have those ideas, but in the end, it is homophobia. So far, he hasn't expressed any transphobic, biphobic and any other anti LGBTQA+ views. But I am scared that might just be because we don't really talk about those things, and he might hate me and my new potential orientation. And as much as we argue (like all brothers do), I really don't want to ruin my relationship with him or make him upset/uncomfortable. I don't know what to do or how to feel. But channels like yours, the click, and jammidoger have been a real help over the last few days. So thank you so much for that. ❤️❤️
im at the exact stage you were at when you wrote this comment, minus the brother (i have a lovely t-sister and very supportive family) but i too dont know how to process things, please do let me know what you figured out, much love 💚
Never really thought about romantic attraction seriously, i don't think I have felt romantic attraction before, but I'm kinda scared to identify as aro now, I know that labels can change and people can change, but sometimes it's still scary to say that I'm a certain label or not. So, for the time being, I'll vibe here for now hahaha
being a cupioromantic feels outright sad. take it from me who is actually a cupioromantic person. you've always been shown this idea of 'love' and how wonderful and beautiful it is.. and you just want to hold someone's hand, to kiss someone, to love someone.. but you can't feel romantic attraction despite wanting to.. and it hurts... it had no upsides. but it feels better knowing there are people who feel the same things... and that there are QPR's that can serve as just as fulfilling as a romantic relationship.
@@June-hc5hm i just realized I m cupioromantic after so long of being confused and it really is so sad. I crave love so much and I know it’s this innate, incredible thing but I just can’t feel it no matter how much I try or date
i feel like i am a "bit" cupioromantic but also appalled by the thought of romance. like, it seems so nice, and i want to love someone like that, but it feel so serious and disgusts me more than me wanting it, so haha yea
I actually came to this video questioning if im cupioromantic and your comment is really helpful! Im not going to jump to conclusions, but it definitely helps to understand what cupio is.
I never knew there's a term for something that I usually feel towards meeting new people. That giddiness and excitement I feel, like everything is so interesting about that person, it's intense and often leaves me confused but over time it just settles and I don't feel anything romantic anymore. I always thought that's just how meeting new friends work 😆
I honestly love being aroace, it’s such an adventure finding new things about myself and the way I feel about someone with every relationship I pursue or end up in and also just being single and thriving perfectly well on my own! I’m sure most people of all romantic attractions and sexualities can say that but we don’t hear it often enough about ourselves so I’m saying it👏
Wow this was so informative. I thought I was aromantic and bi-demisexual, but after much thought and consideration I decided I'm actually a demiromantic and demisexual lesbian. :)
thank you for including grayromantic!! i am grayromantic and it honestly perfectly describes me. ive only ever felt romantic feelings towards two people, and sometimes i feel like i dont want a relationship, while other times i desperately want one. i wish it was represented more, and im glad its getting some recognition ^^
Im also greyromantic! For a long time I didn't know If I was bi for this reason, but now I have it all figured out. I've only ever had 3 real crushes so It was hard to figure out. Im so happy it was added to this video :)
As an allo person, I really appreciate this breakdown of terms! I find that learning more about aro/ace identities is really helpful in opening myself up to introspection about what I like and don't like or need/don't need, rather than trying to conform to the status quo. Thank you for this!
Oriented Aroace: Someone who's fully aroace, yet experiences another tertiary attraction that is prominent enough to identify with/bring up. For example, queer/quasioplatonic attraction and emotional attraction (there's more, but that's just two!) There's other attractions than just romantic and sexual; keep that in mind! :}
is quasioplatonic and queerplatonic the same thing? i only heard of queer platonic by the way if it showed up in the video i'm sorry i didn't look at it all
I've just stumbled across the terms "Aromantic" and "Asexual" a few weeks ago. And it got me thinking because it really explains how i feel. But theb I started remembering that I have a dating history. I began to doubt "Am I really this or am I just making this up?". Because all my life I have never had a crush/or someone i chase romantically/sexually. And my closest are always asking "Do you have a crush? Or a boyfriend?" And I just felt awkward at that point. It didn't help that my friends are coming to me for love advice on their crush/boyfriend/girlfriend while I can't relate about what they are feeling. But this really help me understand more about what the spectrum/label really is. So thank you for the Aro Dictionary
Real, I've had crushes on boys when I was younger. But looking back on it, I've always felt like my attractions weren't as strong. And I tried to make myself feel the butterflies, the blushing, the heart beating, etc. I don't think I've ever experienced a romantic attraction at all. I only found people pretty or handsome, but I've never exactly saw myself dating them. My friends would show me their crushes, guys, characters, etc, but I just never found them attractive at all. I would say " they don't look bad but it's not for me 😭 "
I’ve only just recently begun questioning if I fall on the aromantic spectrum after solely sticking with the lesbian label for years now. As someone who has been in a relationship for over 2 years, I always feel shitty when at times I just don’t want to participate in romance like kissing, emotional closeness, holding hands, and the general idea of being in a relationship. Other times I am all for it. I’m scared to come out with this label (questioning if I’m aroflux) because I’m not sure how it will affect my relationship, or if it truly what I’m feeling. Sexuality is confusing :(
I've almost never been in a relationship I think I maybe Aro because I felt almost no crushes at at all and I've hardly ever had a relationship. The only girl I had a "crush" on was one I barely even got to see, so it's kind of unclear if I ever liked her in the first place or just thought she was cute.
Same, but I'm getting tired of making up excuses and pretending to be interested...thinking if I play along, the feeling will come, but then it doesn't and I feel bad about myself. It's not my partner's fault but coming here has made me feel better about talking about it when I'm ready.
I am an Aroflux and I feel loved for being described. And you are absolutely right. I started off feeling like I was demiromantic but kept going back and forth between demiromantic and aromantic. And then found out about aroflux and now I am finally comfortable with who I am
@@SpaceyAces You're welcome. It's a term I've also only come across recently when I saw a fanmade demisexual and demiromantic flag where the artist referred to it as such ^^
There is someone in my neighborhood that looks just like kaden! Is kind of funny idk why I find people that look like characters or other people in my daily life lol
5:40 thank you so much for including Abroromanic, I am both Abrosexual and Abroromantic (I just go by Abrosexual) so my sexual AND romantic attraction changes a lot and you described it perfectly, thank you for talking about a less known sexuality which is very much real and very much valid ❤️ (all of these are valid too!)
GAAAHHH thank you so much for making this video! I’ve struggled a lot in terms of figuring out where exactly I fall on the aromantic spectrum due to how contradicting some of my thoughts and feelings can be, but the beauty of it all is that it’s a spectrum and there’s no right or wrong way to be aromantic :)
i’m definitely cupioromantic and, to me (so, subjectively), it SUCKS because i long for that wonderful relationship even though i know it will never ever come. i’ve been in a relationship in the past where i didn’t really feel too much romantic attraction in it, but i didn’t care cause i wanted a relationship so bad. i broke up with them and explained my abstract feelings and everything turned out fine lol. i genuinely wish i could hug and kiss someone and know how much i love them in the back of my mind, but alas, that will never come.
I'm 20 and I've never had a genuine crush on/fallen in love with someone and I've never been in a relationship, but I _have_ had a _thing_ for a few people, just not a typical crush and more like "hey I like this person more than anyone else and I could see myself with them." I learned about cupioromantic last year (or early this year?) and I think that's what I am. And while I was sad at first (I knew about aromantic and had hoped I wasn't that), I quickly got over it. I think of it as kind of a blessing. I don't have crushes, I don't become infatuated, I don't fall in love, meaning I physically won't be primarily driven by those things if I want to be with someone. I can't fall _out_ of love if I can't fall _in_ love, and I can't lose infatuation for someone if I can't become infatuated. Sure, it sucks that I can't have a crush on someone or fall in love with them and experience those feelings, but at least what I get out of it is being able to evaluate if a person I'm interested in and I would work as a couple. Another pro is that I won't feel nervous around someone I'm interested in. No fast-beating heart, no sweaty palms, no stumbling over my words.
@@SauceyRedHN that’s a good way to think about it! i agree with everything except for the last little bit. i personally kinda crave that nervousness. i feel like it’s a very sweet part of the crush, like you get a little flustered around them and it’s cute or whatever. agree to disagree with that part, but i like that way of thinking. like, i don’t have to experience falling out of love if i’m never in love in the first place. thanks for that new perspective.
@@zleepy_zig Yeah I can understand wanting to feel those feelings, I just personally don't feel like I need that. And you're welcome! I saw your comment and felt like I should give you my more positive perspective in hopes that it would make you less sad about being cupio, and I'm glad you liked it!
@@mimichu__ Hey there, same for me I do strongly believe im cupioromantic BUT, there are people who identify as cupioromantics but CAN be demiromantics in reality, just hidden behind the fear, loneliness and helplessness that the thought of being cupioromantics puts on themselves, in easy terms, you might have not found the perfect partner for you, and you (as explained in the video) need a very strong bong with someone to "unlock" romantic feelings for them. Just a heads up to not give up!
I've been strugling for 1,5 years with labeling my romantic experiences and in this video i found 5 (!) labels for myself which i guess make me just fall on the whole spectrum and I should just stop caring lol
fellow Polish person?! 🧐😲 I'm in the same boat as you, a few of these labels describe me well but I've always just simply identified as aromantic because I don't feel the way to specify it since it's all on the aromantic spectrum anyway so personally I see no difference lol
I am nowhere on this spectrum, and I still have a lot to learn. Thank you for another informative video! (Oh, and I have mama-love for everyone here!) 🙏❤🏳🌈🏳⚧🎉
I maybe Aromantic (I've almost never been in a relationship) I'd say I wanted one but never really felt a strong emotional connection to anyone. At least not strong enough for me to confess my feelings.
@@cradica this, literally me, never had a crush, never had any romantic feelings (at least none that i can recall) but i do feel sexual attraction making it wierd to look stuff up (i "found out" like yesterday and decided to dive a bit deeper so yeah)
@@BobOrKlaus Like there was maybe that one girl who I thought I liked and sent her a love note but really I didn't spend much time with, I barely new her. I think I was just in love with her appearance, but besides that I've never felt that way toward anyone. I remember another Aromantic saying they had a few "crushes" on some guys but they hardly knew them so they thought they were just in love with the idea of them. I think that's what I was feeling here.
I had a difficult time with the first half of the video since I felt all of those sexuality’s at one point until you got to aroflux and it made more sense. I always knew I was on the arospec but I just couldn’t make since of which one i was…now I’m aware that I’m aroflux and aceflux! Ty💛
omg, I think I'm the same, but I have so much shame around admitting that, because as a woman if you just want the s_x, without the romance , you're considered slutty and fucked up. especially as a lesbian, women are soooo romantic, much more than men, and expect you to give them your undivided attention, give them a compliment or some form of touch every 5 min, it's so exhausting, I feel like I just got a second job.
thank you for this little aro-dictionary video 🤣🤧 ngl i’m still trying to figure out if i could be on the aro side too [ i know im asexual] but i honestly don’t even know if i would like to be romantic or if i feel a romantic attraction yet, like sometimes i’ll be like i wanna hug this person or whatever; i’ve never dated or really tried to date, it’s just hard to find someone in this day and age. especially since i never want to use dating apps they creep me out personally 😭 the thought of being romantic with someone does kinda of creep me out and makes me uncomfortable,, and then there are times when i wish i had something romantic happening in my life which maybe i could be aroflux ,, but looking at this list there are some that i kinda clicked with but im in no rush i also just love learning about all the other different people on this spectrum 🤧 we all deserve to feel love in whatever way we feel we need to be,, i hope everyone finds that 🖤
i feel like i need to have "typical" romantic relationships described, i see it referenced a lot in definitons along the lines of "they do but like, not in the typical way" which is hard to think of without having a baseline for a typical attraction
I’m asexual and frayromantic and frayromantic usually gets left out and lumped in with cupioromantic/lithromantic so it was really nice to see it being separated; as it is it’s own thing and has its differences. I used to think I was lithromantic because it was always the first thing that would show up when I did research on the aromantic spectrum. It means a lot that it gets represented in this video and hopefully if someone relates and chooses to use that label they would find it (unlike how long it took me.) People along with calling me a late bloomer would also call me indecisive and it also meant a lot to be validated in this video. This is a great video overall and I really appreciate it as do so many others!
Finally i found a fitting term! I think im lithromantic. I have crushes, but if they like me back, the crush starts fading away and i no longer have those feelings.
I'm an angled aroace person!!! I don't experience romantic or sexual attraction, but I do experience other things like aesthetic attraction (though its still rare for me) and sensual attraction, plus I would love to be in a QPR someday
Oh! I think you mistook the term. What you're describing is 'oriented aroace'. 'angled aroace' is someone who is both aro-spec AND ace-spec, but not necessarily strictly 'fully' aromantic or 'fully' asexual. Like, someone who is demiromantic graysexual counts as angled aroace, but you, who does not feel romantic or sexual attraction but a tertiary attraction would be oriented!
Thank you so much for this video! Personally, I am a non-SAM aro (non Split Attraction Model) meaning I do not use the split attraction model to describe my sexual orientation. I do not find the terms allosexual or asexual to be able to accurately or comfortably describe me and my attraction. I identity as just aromantic.
This video was really informative and helpful. I've been confused for so long and since forever I've felt left out in both the straight and LGBTQ+ communities because absolutely none of the common labels I found could properly describe how I felt. So for the past few years, I've been constantly switching between labels and never found one I felt really described me. I was always doubting whatever I settled on and kept wondering if I was, like, secretly straight or something and just wanted to feel special or included. The problem was, I couldn't identify with straight experiences just as much as I couldn't relate to bi or lesbian or pan ones. I really felt like I was falling behind everyone else, and I was honestly starting to get jealous of people who had such clear-cut identities. When I learned aromantism existed, I really connected with some of the experiences (an example being me wanting a crush like all my friends had and randomly picking someone to 'like' even though I felt nothing for him or anyone else). But the label of never wanting to be romantically involved with anyone still didn't sit right. Reading about all these lesser-known labels that fall under the aro category really helped me feel seen like nothing else has before. So thank you for making this. :)
These few months I've realized I'm lithromantic and aegosexual, it feels so nice to know there's terms to describe how I feel towards relationships. I have no desire to date or pursue romantic relationships, I don't want my attraction to be reciprocated. Romance "in-theory" like in fiction is nice but I'm really repulsed by real life romance. I feel grateful that this aro-ace spectrum exists and there's plenty others that might experience what I feel❤️
Thanks so much for this video, very helpful and I just absolutely love spreading the platonic love for the aros. I identify as allosexual aromantic, but I had a rough time coming to terms with it bc of amatonormativity. Personally, I sometimes relate to the term Quoiromantic, as I sometimes get squishes, like the really strong feeling of wanting to know someone better as a person bc they're just so cool, but I get so wound up in my excitement for that platonic attraction that I mistake my feelings for romantic love, then get so confused I bang my head into a wall before deciding I'm probably not in love. Then I question about whether I even know the difference between platonic and romantic love, but how would I know if I never experienced it to begin with??? And how would I know even if I had? It can be so hard to put your feelings for another person into a box: sometimes you want to do romantic gestures for a friend without wanting to date them. Sometimes you want someone to be your sole companion for life, but without the added romantic affection, gestures or expectations. And defining those feelings can be quite difficult. Also I just love the chaos of "WTFromantic" where you're questioning so hard it just becomes its own identity. I don't really use that identity though because much prefer Aro or Arospec. Ultimately, even if I get confused and doubt myself at times, it happens so rarely that I would still be grey romantic at least- I doubt I'll ever relate to the experience of an alloromantic. I think it's because I'm allosexual, so occasionally when I get a squish on someone I'm also sexually attracted to, I start thinking "is this love?" ... But typically, the answer is no, we get closer then I realise I get repulsed at the thought of basically anyone having feelings for me and having to reciprocate them and that's it IG.
I‘ve known that I’m aroace for a while now and while I’ve known how I identify on the ace spec, the aro spec has been so complicated. When you described bellusromantic I felt like I looked into a mirror! I never heard of that before, I got so excited!
Thank you for explaining all of these! Although I'm still a tiny bit confused but i feel like i relate to the most with frayromantic, aegoromantic, and bellusromantic. ive always felt the idea of romantic relationships was weird to me and i always rejected the idea. although, i have had small crushes but i never knew if they were just strong feelings of admiration. i always thought i was straight with extremely high standards since ive rarely liked someone romantically.
Hey! Thank you for this video :) I would be interested in the topic masturbation, self sex and being in the asexual and/ or aromantic spectrum... maybe this could be a future video?
the only comfortable relationships i had were my online ones, when i didn't have to hold hands or kiss and do coupley things, i could merely just share my affection from a distance, every in-person relationship i had made me feel really uncomfy... now things are starting to make sense, i identfied as panromantic and ace, but now i am realizing i identified that way b/c i felt the same way about all genders, now i am kind of realizing i might be romantically attracted to none not all, i still feel aesthetic attraction, but i realize i see people like beautiful art, not like someone i would date- if that makes sense, anyone else on the same boat?
I never knew aro ace was an umbrella term for so many other specific identities. I was confused before because I didn’t think I fell directly under aroace but I also knew I didn’t experience romantic attraction like other people. I’m still figuring it out. Thank you for the helpful information!
i had the idea that cupioromantic was when you stongly desire a relatationship but when someone likes you, you lose all interest. Ive seen a lot of people identify with that definition. thank you for your definition. its helping me figure out where i may fall.
I’m so glad “arospike” is a word because I thought I was so different for those experiences 😂 I think my default state might be aegoromantic though!! :0
Tysm for this video! I've known that I'm on the aromantic spectrum somehwere for a while and recently found the term lithromantic, which I identified with slightly but never came out bc I was never completely sure. When you described the identity arospike, you literally described exactly what I feel like. Now I know where I am on the spectrum! Thank you!
as a greyromantic person, and someone who has many friends on the aromantic spectrum, i really did enjoy this video. with a lot of people, i always find it hard to explain what greyromantic means because they just dont... seem to get it, yknow? like "wait, so do you feel romantic attraction or not??". really cool video tho fun to watch
I kinda like the idea of kissing, but when I imagine kissing anyone, it feels so weird in a bad way. I would love a boyfriend/girlfriend/enbyfriend, but I would also hate it. I identify as quoiromantic, and I think I am queerplatonic, but maybe not. Idk what kind of relation I would like to people. ;w; Thank you for the video! ^^
I relate to different aro identities. These are lithromantic frayromantic and cupioromantic. On some days i relate to being frayromantic, on others to being lithromantic, on most days i relate to being cupioromantic. Would this mean i might be aroflux?
As an orchidromantic, this means a lot. I used to stick with the aro label, then cupioromantic, but eventually I figured out what I am. It's not everyday you see someone pulling out and aro-dictionary. :]
Just discovered this channel, it's so helpful, I've been looking for an aroace channel for a while to know more about myself or make sense of being aromantic *being asexual was way easier to figure out for me*, nevertheless i loved the space and comfort these videos have given me definitely my new fav channel 💟
It took me so long to figure myself out and now I always say what I feel I am. Someone commented on a comment I made on an Asexual tik Tok compilation vid, saying I was Aro. This vid clarified a lot for me, and I'm glad there's someone out there bringing this to the attention of others and clarifying this stuff cause it is confusing.
I identify myself as arospike, because when I really like a person in a non romantic way, I start to feel only flashes of romantic attraction. I was in a qpr and really felt romantic attraction in few hours and never felt it anymore. I'm a really loving person with everyone in my life that I'm close with, and I experience platonic attraction too often. love the video
I've recently written down all of the "crushes" i've ever had and it turned out only one of them was alterous/queerplatonic and others were pure aesthetic attraction or/and comphet. I think i may be an aroace lesbian then, but i'm still a teen so i don't know
When I was 10 o wrote down guys names on a list, and listed all their best qualities to chose a "crush" I didn't understand what the idea of a crush really was, I should have known sooner that I was aromantic
@@SleepiPotionsXD that's the most aromantic thing i've ever heard in fact i've also once chosen a "crush", just because my classmate asked me who is my type from our group
Heyyy, so Im bi-oriented grey-ace and I used to think I was aromantic until I developed 😨a crush😨 and now I think I might be arospike bc even though Ive experienced this crush Im still not 100% sure that its actually romantic, and I do feel a strong connection to aromanticism. So the way arospike feels for me is that for the most part I just like the idea of romantic relationships and activities but not so much that I would pursue a romantic partner. And then sometimes (so far Ive only experienced two spikes in my life, one last year and another this year - I’m 15 btw) I get a strong yearning for a romantic relationship/partner that as far as I can tell is an increase in romantic attraction pushing that romantic desire over the edge, and then after +/- a week I feel in some way aromantic again. Hope this helps anyone who’s figuring out their orientation, and remember that regardless of how you identify you are all ✨ _valid_ ✨ Edit: although I still resonate with aroflux and also cupioromantic, for now I’m happy using aromantic/arospec rather than finding a more specific label
Appreciate this video. As a deeply romantic demi person the aro side of things has long deeply confounded me, although I just took it to mean they see romance kind of like I see sex although I still struggled, heh. Not feeling it *at all*? But these variants that don't have much visibility at all really help.
and 7 years after learning I am aroace and the various aspects of ace space, not only did I now learn about arospace, but I also learned I am aegoromantic and aegorsexual :O
I've only recently started exploring the possibility of being on the aromantic spectrum (I'm turning 40 very soon). It never occurred to me before, because I've never lacked the desire for a romantic relationship - just seemed to lack the capability. After a bit of searching, reading the different descriptors, I've found two labels that I mostly seem to fit within; aegoromantic and grayromantic. Because I seem to have no issue feeling romantic emotions for fictional expressions of romance (like shipping, I get madly caught up in shipping), but outside of that fictional bubble it's like the romantic switch in me is primarily off. It's not so much a lack of desire for romance, more a near-inability to feel it out in the real world with real people. And I used to think I was just damaged, that this was a result of my experiences with social rejection and bullying growing up, or that maybe my relationship with romance had gotten warped from viewing it through this fictional lense and getting very little real experience to compare it with. It's only recently that I've started considering that maybe this has just always been a part of me, because no matter how much I have healed from everything else from my past, I still have a big disconnect with real life romantic attraction. Like I have no issues with platonically bonding with people, I have real good friendships. But I can pinpoint two exact times in my entire life where I've actually felt romantic attraction, the rest of the time there's been no inkling, no spark, no crush. Just this void of romantic emotions outside of that fictional bubble.
ive always wondered if i'm somewhere in the aromantic spectrum, because while i can technically feel romantic love, i'm deeply repulsed by the idea of being in a romantic relationship.
I’ve been suspicious of being in the aroace spectrum since 2019. At first, I thought I was fully aroace, but now… I think I’m grey aroace. I read that some people call it something like «grey rose»? I’m not so sure. Still need to get informed on it, but it’s sort of a relief to finally understand what is going on with me and why I always felt like my forms of loving were so different and not intense in comparison to others’.
I use the aroace label because it's more known even tho I believe I'm arospike cuz sometimes I just get obsessed and "in love" with someone present for like 2 minutes and then it fades into nothing at all after short times (not even a day)
Btw I watched this video a few weeks ago and am coming back to comment as I was on my TV. That's pretty cool, good representation as it's quite hard find resources and it can be a complex thing to identify yourself as aro. I've been in this process, where I'm still not totally sure, as it's easily invalidated especially as I was in a relationship for many years and am sexual, but the aro segment is the one scenario I don't feel the pressure of having to bother or worry about doing life wrong for not considering romance in my life.
I had literally never heard of bellusromantic before but it describes very well what I experience. Although sometimes I feel it's more towards cupioromantic as well. In the end I concluded for myself I like the idea of the intimacy, but I don't necessarily want romantic feelings
I identify under the aro umbrella and I'm currently in a relationship, and I would like to share how that's going for me. I feel horrible for my partner. We have similar love languages, we enjoy semi-traditional romantic stuff, but as soon as he says he loves me in a very earnest way, I can't help but feel strange about it. I love him, I really do, but it's hard to express that when there's something in the back of my mind telling me "This feels awkward, unnecessary, and just straight up weird." I take the stance that, if I'm going to be in any romantic relationship at all, that it shouldn't be taken seriously. We're engaged and I really want to marry him, I wouldn't want to be with anyone else, but I would rather classify us as life partners who are best friends that like being physical with each other instead of Husbands. He knows how I feel about romance and he still wants to be with me, and I couldn't be happier, but I feel like I took away his chance to be in a traditionally romantic relationship.
I kinda hate this video. Dont get me wrong, it is well made, educative, and really important, and im glad it exists. I hate it cos it resonates so strongly. I hate it cos ill never fall in love
This was a great reference, just forgot to comment this when I first watched the video. Btw, I'm nebularomantic, panromantic and aroflux, as well as sometimes homosexual and myrsexual, so I probably wouldn't need this as a reference, if I had figured out these labels farther in the past. But I've only figure out I'm on both the aro and ace spectrums recently.
When i realized my crushes looked more like admiration, is when i had to accept i was demiaroace. I am in love with the idea of being with someone, but I dont want to be with them. I cant picture myself with them. I want a relationship but... honestly, maybe i just don't want to be alone
thank you for this, i saw a tiktok recently about being aromantic and I'm trying to figure out if it applies to me or not. i have a feeling i'm aegoromantic but still not 100% sure. will keep looking around but thank you.
