Asexuality and Kink: Why Do So Many Aces Love It? 

Definitely hit the nail on the head with imagining kinks in your head rather than acting them.

"If you could only ever have sex with people you aren't attracted to you'd have to come up with some pretty elaborate fantasies and situations to make sex work for you." This helped me understand asexuality. Thank you for the useful explanation.

I don't myself identify as asexual, but what I've heard other folks in the ace community say is that there's a difference between being sex positive and sex favorable. You can have healthy attitudes toward sex no matter how you feel about you, yourself, personally having sex. So an ace person can be sex averse or even sex repulsed but still sex positive. Only some aces are sex favorable, but all aces can be, and often are, sex positive.

This kinda makes me feel strange for being not only asexual, but also painfully vanilla. I'm sex favorable and have tried some kink with partners in the past, but I always felt ridiculous the whole time. It was all very awkward and silly for something that is always treated so seriously. Personally, I think more people should embrace and celebrate how silly and ridiculous sex can be. Nothing is more intimate than sharing a laugh with someone you love, completely without pretense or defensiveness. The ill-timed fart might not be sexy, but the uncontrolled giggling that follows definitely is.

My younger sister is asexual, and she writes fan fiction. I didn't know that there was a link between the two.

THIS VIDEO IS SO GOOD OMGGGG im asexual (specifically aegosexual) and i love love loveeee reading fics! fluff, smut, yadayada, espppp when its romance. its awlays so funny to me when my friends assume thta i must be "innocent" or not understand a sexual joke when i read smut on a regular basis lol

I wish I had this video back in time to my past self an an ex-"friend" of mine. I met a guy a few years ago who became VERY into me very quickly. To temper his expectations a little, I explained to him that I was asexual. He didn't really understand, since he had a particularly rigid understanding of what I meant and basically just assumed I was repulsed by all sex. Occasionally, if I made a horny joke or commented that I found a fictional character attractive, he would comment about how I was "not a very good asexual". I tried to give a deeper explanation to him about my asexuality, like how I could be attracted to certain kinks or situations without the actual sex part being the primary driver. Unfortunately, my understanding of my own desires at that time was rocky at best, and I didn't know where the core of my unusual attractions came from. Fast forward after a few months of this back-and-forth, our relationship had progressed to the point where we were regularly engaging in a lot of sensual activities, like rubbing backs and getting goosebumps or just snuggling on the couch together. One night, while doing this with him, he decided to take things a step farther. I basically forced myself to go along with what he wanted largely thanks to what you mentioned before; my upbringing in a sex-centric world made me ill-prepared to handle not being that way. Maybe I did actually want this? Maybe I just hadn't met the right person until now? Maybe this is how everyone feels and I was just being dramatic? When we were done, the answer to all of those questions was a resounding "no". I couldn't even look at him because I felt so sick to my stomach about what I had done. He had no idea what was going through my head, and actually assumed the opposite was true. A few days later, when we discussed what happened, he gleefully proclaimed, "I knew you weren't actually ace!" It was then that I finally explained to him how uncomfortable I truly felt, and how I didn't say anything at the time due to my own nerves and confusion. He didn't take the news well; he cried and said that he wouldn't do it again. I thought that this would be the end of him trying anything sexual with me, but that couldn't have been farther from the truth. The dynamic between us eventually continued as though nothing had changed. I explained to him that I was comfortable with our sensual activities from before, which we both still enjoyed. But after a couple months of us doing that, he would inevitably assume that I was ready to move onto the "next stage", as it were, and this time I would definitely enjoy it. He just couldn't wrap his head around the idea that I enjoyed sensual contact with him, but not sexual. I became better at rejecting his advances and never consented to doing anything sexual with him again, but he just kept trying. Over and over, he continued to insist that I wasn't actually ace and that I would feel better once I finally accepted the feelings for him I which was supposedly suppressing. Eventually, his frustration and stubbornness finally boiled over. I was SA'd. It was only then that I finally decided to cut him out of my life. I think back on this situation constantly, and I probably will for the rest of my life, wondering how many things I could have done differently. And I can't help but feel like this ugly situation could have been avoided if I had been better about searching out videos like this one. Both for helping me understand my own sexuality, and also getting better at explaining it to other people. When you live in such a sex-focused world, it's hard not to believe that there's something wrong with you if you don't experience attraction the "right" way. But if nothing else, videos like this make it easier to accept this uncomfortable fact about myself. I'm not sure if I can ever feel pride in my asexuality, given how many times it has driven people away from me. But perhaps I can at least learn to make peace with it. I'm not sure if I'll regret being so open about my situation in a stranger's RU-vid comment section, of all places. But hey, if nothing else, I'm boosting this in the algorithm so that more people can see it. Thank you for making it.

I'm ace and this is the first time I learned about the difference between sensual and sexual, it's EXACTLY how I feel about kink! Edit: OMG the whole "being interested in kink from an intellectual standpoint" is exactly how I got into it!! I was confused how people could find BDSM sexual in any way so I did research about it and found it interesting

I felt so deeply and tremendously seen by this video and what is said therein! I didn't figure out I was asexual until after my first relationship, in which I was never able to keep myself physically aroused for sex despite my great desire to please my partner. I didn't even understand that you could be ace and kinky until I found out an nsfw artist I followed was ace, and messaged them to talk about it out of curiosity. I think the thing that really sounded like you were reading my mind was saying that we have sex 'in our heads'. Before I figured out I was ace, I very literally used to say I was "very in my head" when it came to sex, and I thought that sometimes I just had a disconnect when trying to push that arousal from my mind to my body. I used that phrase for at least a couple years of my adult life, so for you to use almost those exact words was such a call-out XD I'm personally an ace dom, and the the things you said about BDSM-related kink are also very true, as well! While sometimes I do feel sexually aroused by those dynamics, it never translates to ever desiring sexual things. What I do find, though, is even outside of those more horny situations, I find a lot of comfort and personal nonsexual pleasure in having those dynamics. Having subs call me by certain titles or such, casually or lovingly referring to them by their titles, talking down to them, etc is all quite a nice thing. And with those that reciprocate that level of comfort in those dynamics, there's a deep and trusting bond that forms in the shared understanding of our roles. Aside from possible other things (I've been recently exploring the likelihood of my own undiagnosed neurodivergence), this is probably why losing some of those dom/sub role relationships in past was so traumatic and felt so deep a betrayal. I think allosexuals (at least on average) put so much value in actual sexual contexts that intimate contact and dynamics of other kinds fall by the wayside. It's hard for them to understand. For instance, I also tend to find intimate contact (hugs, snuggling, etc) with close friends totally normal, but any time I mention the idea of cuddling a friend of mine, people seem to be surprised that I would do that. Relationships and the comfort therein can be so much more dynamic and interesting than I feel allosexual/alloromantic society teaches people to believe, and I think that is truly a great loss for so many people.

Answer to the question asked at 3:27 (obviously a NSFW answer). I'm a sex repulsed aroace and although I haven't tried any, I definitely have kinks. Most of them are fairly common like bondage and masochism (specifically cbt), but I do have a CNC kink (sometimes known as 'rape play') which surprises me given that I've been raped because of my asexuality and that being the reason as to why I'm sex repulsed. Over the years I have bought a few toys that cater to some of them but I don't feel entirely satisfied or that there's something that is still missing. And yes, I do feel like nobody knows we exist other than others like me. "Kink scenes can be aesthetically pleasing". Thank you, that has just clicked in my head. I always wondered why I occasionally watch porn because it sure as hell wasn't for anything sexual. It's just entertainment to me nothing adult about it, like watching a sport event or a movie.

Sex-averse Ace here. For me, I'm totally positive joking about and talking about sexual topics with friends and family. Although, as soon as that topic turns towards me having sex with someone, even potential partners, it's a no-go for me. That being said, I'm someone who has heavy sensual attraction sprinkled with romance and aesthetic attraction. I'm in love with the feeling of feeling, and would absolutely enjoy cuddling, kissing, message, pretty much touch everywhere except the reproductive organs, which lends itself to territory of sexual attraction (for me). Of the three decades I've been alive as an androgynous woman, I've never been sexually attracted to anyone, but know for a fact that I'm hetero because all my sensual fantasies are with guys, but it always turns back to the feeling itself. For the longest time, it was so confusing because I never felt the need to go to that "third place/ home run" everyone was talking about growing up. Could never understand it, still don't understand it, and I'm way more happier now than prior, when a lot of this terminology didn't exist when I was growing up in the 2000's. Even in the 2010's during my college years, it was still flaky. Now I'm trying to reprogram myself to date for the first time in my life and seeing myself as NOT being a burden, NOT owing it to an allo partner, and that I DESERVE a loving relationship and that I'm not wasting a potential partner's time dating me. Better late than never!

I've known i was asexual for a while now but started questioning my identity again because of my interest in kink and physical intimacy (which i interpreted as an interest in sex). Turns out it makes me all the more asexual lol The nuances between sensual and sexual, imagined and real, situations and people, etcetera make so much sense to me. Probably had like five asexual awakenings during the span of this video. Thank you for making me see connections where i saw contradictions!

I might be somewhere on the ace spectrum, questioning, still figuring stuff out but not super urgently, and have developed an interest in kink and the surrounding culture over the last years. The dynamics in sex are interesting to me, but the actual act of it, if it involves me directly, was always 'too much of a hassle' to continuously want to pursue it. Playing stuff out in my mind is easier, and a lot more gratifying because it doesn't need for me to get over hangups involving my body and mental barriers i've built up over my life with a real life partner to enjoy sex at all. Reading and writing erotic fan fiction has alwaye been my 'creative outlet' of choice here.

omg I *have* to comment, because I've genuinely never had anyone describe my sexuality and its relationship with kink before in such a specific and (for lack of a better word) correct way. Specially the section about sex being in our heads and having fantasies that are really arousing but would be an immediate turn off if they actually happened, wow, you really hit the nail on the head with that one.

Hi hello! Just stumbled on this video, very fun!! I'm a sex neutral-averse aroace; ive never been FULLY sure how to define it bc I am very fine with fully imaginary sex (and I'm friends with ace ppl who get squicked by even passive sex mentions) but am EXTREMELY repulsed by the idea of real sex happening to me in my body. Most of my exposure to kink is for that reason very much in the brainspace, where my thoughts can be entirely disconnected from myself. The more distanced a concept is from reality, the more likely it is to turn me on, whereas stuff that's more grounded in reality can be anywhere from interesting to me as part of a story to making me full-body cringe. It all depends! I think my experience with sex def lines up with the "in the head" thing. If it's not a real thing that could feasibly happen, great! If it checks the boxes of -real people -realistic scenario -physically possible -I am asked to involve myself in the imaginary situation, it is not for me!

I'm aroace (or at least somewhere on the spectrum), and I've been thinking recently about getting into dating, since I crave physical affection and would like to have a life partner, but I've been super intimidated about getting started, partly due to the amatonormative idea that relationships and intimacy must include sex. I was worried about the people I date feeling that way, and honestly I realize now that I still have some internalized amatonormativity to work through. This video gives me a lot of hope, though, and I feel a lot less alone in my journey, and plus I now know that kink sounds like a great option for me to look into lol, so thanks for making this!

... Huh, this video made me realise that me liking D/s dynamics since as long as I have been curious about anything sexual, actually is very much in line with me being ace. I like situations and energies. Anticipation rather than gratification. Visuality over desire to act.

I've been on a journey to realizing my asexuality this past year, and dear God, I am so attacked by every point in this video. 😂 I can’t believe this exists. It summarizes everything I've experienced since I started forcing myself to be sexually active 10 years ago. I didn’t know these thoughts/feelings were a shared experience? Truly identity-shattering stuff here. Thank you.

How dare you call out my physically impossible imaginary trauma healing kink!! (Jk I actually feel so seen for the first time in my life??? 😭) Literally thank you for this video

This video made me understand myself so much better as someone who recently realised they are ace, also given the fact that I am still in denial of it, which is a really weird space to be in when you're aware of the fact. I feel like this video is solidfying my reality and helping me break free of that denial. I also found the link between asexuality and fanfic very interesting as I have written a lot myself, which I also attribute to being neurodiverse. Thank you for this video. I think it’s helping me to be more secure in my asexuality. Mostly because I am now understanding that my desires are actually sensual and not sexual, and that those two things, although they can coexist, don’t actually have to. The concept of kink has always interested me, but never more so than now, now that I actually know what it really is.

I am ace and i never thought about "kinky" stuff as a kink because i thought its only a sexuall thing, but i lately realised that thats not true. And it feels realy good too know another thing that makes me feel good now 😊

Now that I think about it, the idea of _enthusiastic_ consent being necessary also invalidates sex work, which is another good reason not to use this phrasing.

I am a sex repulsed asexual who really wants to do pet play. I am also aromantic. Here's my story. I would love to have a queer platonic partner who does pet play with me. They'd be my handler and I'd be the dog. It would be completely non-sexual. I just really wish I could be a human treated like a dog with an owner and stuff. If I could have dog ears and a dog tail attached to my human body that actually were biologically apart of me, I would. And even then, I'd still want to have an owner and be their pet. That's literally the whole story. I'm not into any other types of kinks.

As an aro/ace kinky woman, i feel so seen here.

I never comment but this totally changed my perspective on my asexuality. The sensual attraction is something I’ve experienced before with my gf and it’s always confused me so much. To hear someone say that sex doesn’t have to come after means so much today. Thank you so much for putting this content out here. ❤️❤️❤️

I really vibed with your opinion on "enthusiastic" consent being a somewhat problematic term for some ace ppl such as myself where it's more like a "yeah sure" sort of situation most of the time.

Sex is in our heads. Literally yes lol Glad RU-vid recommended this. :3

thank you for making this video! I´m coming to term with my asexuality in the last few months. I thought of me beeing ace for way longer tho but because I enjoy kink in alot of ways I thouth that I can´t be ace because most people think of kink in a very sexual way. I knew that the ace spectrum is very broad but I have problems with giving myselfe the freedom that I give others (this also applies to my gender and sexual identity). So this video helps me a lot to be more confident about my asexuality!

wow. this was eye opening. i have often struggled with calling myself ace but this video put alot of things into perspective. I wasn't even aware of the difference between sensual and sexual interactions. Explains why i enjoy some things but other (more expected) things feel like nothing. I have a lot to think about but thank you for making this. thank you so much

Hey! I wanted to say thank you for making this video. Slightly older aroace here who recently stumbled upon aego ("Hey.. I think I really like this here lgbtq+ spicy romance--") you hit the nail on the head in terms of a number of details including the intellectualizing of sex. I joke to myself that I basically had to "teach myself 'sex'" in terms of when allosexual people mean it, talk about it, etc. I think as a slightly older person on aspec, I've had the tendency to stay at arms' length from all things that MIGHT be interpreted as sexual for fear of 'giving people the wrong impression'. Your video gives space to process these ideas (sensuality, power dynamics, navigating the increments of consent) without feeling like doing so is somehow "doing aroace wrong."

everything about this video is so validating. thank you. you’re saying some things i’ve been trying to put to words for a while.

Omg this is actually a great explanation, Ive been trying to find a way to explain this as someone who is ace sex neutral leaning towards avoidant but kink sounds a lot more pleasing than actual sex (I’ve never done anything kinky but Im going based on what I know of it)

I'm so glad for this video, I think about this often as an arro-ace that's on the fringe of the kink community(I'd be more involved if I had funds outside of survival). For me the kink community is as open and willing to learn about people's sexuality and wants that are not a part of the puritanical propaganda that a majority of society has internalized, at least in my opinion. Along with being open, I go when I can to see if anything sparks in me, but so far nothing irl has done so. I wish we could have more conversations about sex and kink without it getting weird with strait cis people, but it feels like it always ends with them getting weirded out that sex talk not leading to sex. Maybe it's just me, lol

This is the first video on your channel I've watched, and omg it's good!! I'm currently still figuring out a lot of things about myself, but I'm thinking that I might be ace, sex-positive and kinky myself, and evereything you've said made so much sense for me!!! Especially thinking back how I felt during past relationships and talking with other people about kink, I noticed that I'm interested in it, but not necessarily in the same way as them! Thank you so much for this video, and keep up the good work!

I'm on the ace-spectrum and am sexually attracted to certain fictional characters - specifically non-humans and anthros, so much so that I have ocs/self-inserts that I pair them up with. Kink positive as well! I don't ever want sex in real life, but I'm much more happy imagining myself kissing a character anyway kdlfkds

Wow thank you so much for this video!!! It is a way to process trauma for me for sure, I love to imagine all sorts of scenarios because it makes me feel very emotional and it feels healing. I am so glad I am not alone

Wait, I'm exploring my sexuality, and while it doesn't happen often, I have felt what I consider to be clear sexual attraction towards men. I feel greater sexual attraction towards celebrities I idolize and find people infinitely more sexy with their clothes on than off, though I don't have the sexual experience to corroborate that fact and I suspect that might be tied more into my feelings about the human body, muscles, and blood. However, the moment you said sex was largely in the mind, I instantly understood? Me exploring my options is largely a thing that's been happening in recent years, but even way before then, I always suspected sex was a thing the mind is excited by, that the body also enjoys, but there may be a disconnect somewhere where the body is sexuality excited by things the mind is uninterested in. So a function of the body is to feel sexual attraction, but the mind is where the interest comes from? I don't quite know where this leaves me, because from what I've written, I am seeing an attraction to men that counts as sexual, but also a reticence?

That's funny, I've also described sex to doing the dishes to my allo friends! Can be satisfying, can be fun if you're with someone whose company you enjoy, but mostly boring, kinda gross, and i wouldn't choose to do it

I am on the gray ace/asexual spectrum. I am more on the averse side to absolute indifference but that doesn't mean there rare exceptions for me or they are times I am human being with human being needs and struggling to figure out how to safely get those needs met. I honestly don't do it well. I really suck at being someone's lover and this is something I rarely have ever wanted but even then its not always hundred percent all the time. Its complicated and very personal. For me it often like I was trapped in ghost town. And simply being someone who it feels like I am surrounded by people that I can't connect with in same ways others did. I see on the outside what I imagine is how others do kink or relationships and I don't experience it the same ways. Thing change over time like when I was in my teens things were different. I often totally out of control and was going with the flow of my chaotic mess. Things I did in my teens where everything was all about whatever pressure or breaking the rules seeking out adventures and constant negative reality with few pockets of acceptance in small corners of that time to my life. As I got older things changed, except for the whole "ghost town feeling of no people" that experience never entirely went away even in middle of few times I had sex. The kink scene was more of adrenaline thing than actual always pleasurable me I was just always really shut down as I got older it actually really bothered me. I wanted to be liberated person who just had lot of kinky, sexy fun but reality was something else happen. Its not something want to get into in details but I was grateful a short in my 20's where I got to experiment with s&m without all the pressure for short time but I never really wanted regular sexual relationships except when I did and often promptly regret it. Overtime things got weirdly dysfunctional for me, so I take lot of long breaks. The community can be harder that it advertises itself to be if you're struggling with certain things in your life around the subject. Its not always safe all the time. For some people they assume its going to be about sex and don't get that isn't for everyone. Then there is whole FOMO aspect to if you're different than everyone else thinking/fear of missing out of all things you don't get have. Lot of kink has to deal with whom you connect with and if that is struggle its not easy for you like it was for me than its harder to belong to that community. Endlessly only hooking up with strangers definitely had toll on me to point I really couldn't do it any more. It wasn't liberating it just made me hate myself for not being perfect.

I thought sex positive just meant you don't kink shame

This actually helped me figure out myself more than I thought! I feel seen more than I've been by other video explanations, very helpful, tyyyyy :>🙌

Oh for sure. I have no problem walking into a kinky space in the sense of it's not scary for me to be around something sexual or kinky in the way that a sexual person might feel. It's the part where you have to sit there talking to people that turns me off from it. Like you said, as well, sex is entirely in my head. Walking into a kinky space is kind of a turn off because of that as well. It's more interesting in fantasy than in reality.

Thank you so much for making this video! It was really helpful to me.

I was questioning if I might be asexual until I watched this video. I felt so called out by every part of this, especially the part about fanfiction. Now I'm sure I'm asexual.

I did not know there were kink flags. Looks like I need to do some "research."

I think this video explained my entire life, even before I knew I was aroace spec! I'm pretty sure I'm somewhere between sex-averse and neutral, but definitely have a libido. I've always used fictional characters in my imagined stories growing up doing a specific action that I always found gratifying since I was young. However, if I ever witnessed that same action irl, I'd freak! Now, I look for that specific action in fanfic/a specific kink community (and still imagine it) and thoroughly enjoy it, but again, if it became real, I'd nope the hell out of there. For me, this has and always will be a fantasy.

I dont identify as asexual and i had met someone recently who is and told me they were into kink. I had never considered that a possibility and sfter watching this video i totally get it. Even got me thinkign if im demisexual or even on the ace sepctrum. I dont initiate sex and am unenthuesed half the time, i have fantasies but when playing them out irl, i just am so turned off, i really want to get into kink

I’m a sex averse ace who enjoys vore. (Usually I wouldn’t admit that but happy pride month) I was born that way so my relationship to my kink is just that RPing it or fantasizing about it etc. excites me mentally and physically, But I wouldn’t relate it to sex in any way. I think sex is gross and I’ve been jumpscared by porn videos of people doing it when I’m just trying to find some vore stuff I like. So for me specifically, being a sex averse ace, kink has nothing to do with anything typically considered sex. I honestly have no clue how it feels to be aroused by the concept of sex, and people think I’m weird for being aroused by vore, when it’s all I’ve ever known and not finding it exciting would be completely foreign to me. I’d say my kink is the main dimension of my sexuality despite it having nothing to do with the typical idea of sex. For some reason I’m also only attracted to anthropomorphic object characters, so fantasies usually include them. I’m a furry but for objects I guess, which as far as I can tell doesn’t even have a name. Someone might claim I have sexual trauma or something, but nope. I have no clue why I’m like this, I was just born that way. Anyway, thanks for your videos on asexuality!

I follow a content creator who is ace and also very much into feet, and know a number of kinky ace people personally who are into things like fat fetishism and BDSM, and I've always wondered how that works. Thanks for delving into this topic!

My spouse is ace (fluctuating between sex-averse and sex-neutral) and is VERY kinky. We do 24/7 TPE. If you have any questions, I can answer them from my perspective as an allosexual person in a relationship with them. I can also ask them questions if you have any for them. ❤

So this coming from a very allosexual Pansexual person whom just so happens to find Grey and Demisexual partners. I understand the less exuberant version of consent but not fully from the aro specum. I do feel consent needs to be understood as long as all parties are open to it, but exuberant consent isn't always needed. So I have been openly Poly and Pansexual for 12+ years, and I have had several sex positive individuals in the aro-ace spectrum. I myself am grey romantic, but I usually have a strong sexual drive and desire. So my first mistress and first partner I had in an open poly relationship has come out a greysexual. It was something that did affect our dynamic and later on in time changed it completely, but it had more to do with my current spouse than the dynamic why we changed our relationship. With her it was very much so consent based and I as the submissice would ask for sexual play if needed, and we would help meet our needs. Also, with her I was a service bottom. My Spouse and current primary partner has expressed some demisexual tendencies with the aspect of they have strong sexual and sensual drive but only with those they feel close to. They only get sexual with those they are intimate with, and I am the exact opposite sometimes. Remember above I am greyromantic. The difference is I can develop very deep emotional intimacy without romantic feelings. Also, kink for me is a therapeutic and ritualistic aspect of my life, and Kink has helped me as a neurodivergent person and always embraced it as an aspect of myself.

This video blew my mind... from an autistic, kinky, potential ace thank you so much

Awesome video Meghan 🙂

This is really interesting Meghan. I learned a lot.

This video is definitely going on my list of recommended videos to watch if you think that you are Ace. Most of my Ace friends definitely prefer sex alone rather than with another person. One even said that when they were having sex with another person, it felt more like they were having sex with a self-cleaning, voice operated sex-toy, than a person. My own story is that I am a kinky, ND, Sex-favorable gray-ace person with a high libido, lots of sex-toys, who like watching porn. I discovered that I was ace at the age of 47. I discovered it by coincidence. I watched a video on what it means to be ace. I could relate to almost everything that was said in that video. Having a high libido was confusing though. I took several free tests available on the web. 2 said that I was Ace, 2 said that I wasn’t Ace, and finally 2 said ”Inconclusive, take some more tests”. Eventually I stumbled on a couple of videos explaining that you can be ace and still have a high libido, and there is such a thing as being a sex-favorable ace. Digging deeper I found that there are many ways to be ace, not just the archetypical media representation of the sex-repulsed aro-ace person. I even found an article with a list of 199 sexual orientations under the ace umbrella.

I dont idenitfy myself as an ace, but i think this is very special for me. I feel sexuala traction to people or situations, so ia m not asexual in the pure sense of word. However, i dont like the idea of sex itself... i just like people and some situations/stimuli, but not s o much sex itself. Of fact, i thought i was asexual until 13 because i didn't feel so sexuala tracttion or sex desire before that. Neither, i dont like nudity at all (of fact, i love latex and thus). So, this video was a omen for me.

this is very eye opening. what i thought was sexual, are actually my sensory needs!

Congratulation!!!😊

Wow Meghan, this was quite interesting! All I have to say about this topic is that I am glad I'm not married anymore. I don't need to please anyone and I can just be who I am! I'm not interested in dating or having sex with anyone. To me sex is overrated and it does not interest me at all!

OMG. I LOVE THIS VIDEO. NOW I'M 100% SURE THAT I'M AN ACE. THANK YOU

I identify as Aromantic and Asexual averse, so my experience with sex and love in general isn’t much, but my experience with kinks has me triggering only my libido if that makes any sense. Also I never knew that other people also fantasize about sex but would never do it, which had me genuinely tearing up 🥺😅

I've never actually tried kink, nobody has been able to explain it, but I completely understand the rage about consent. I had friends rip into me in college for wanting to try sexual things out, because I would be "making them a r!!!ist". All while I was getting hit with the "I can fix that", once from the same people.

I’m ace and I agree it makes total sense to me

No TMI? Thank you!

20:50 WHOS KIDINKSTI PLZ I LOVE THAT PAINTING BUT IVE NEVER HEARD OF THE ARTIST... WHO R THEY....

Is that hair Anna Wintour inspired?

Meghan.... You are the most incredable speaker and you communicate most excellent.... This is a most excellent vlog...

Acey kink goodness👌

Thanks, the garlic bread is on me!

Read up on RU-vid algorithm. Every time I come back to this is another "view". And every thumbs up is another like. EXPLOITATION!

Meghan: What do you know about the hypothalamus and pituitary. I'm late to this "party" but sexuality and this brain system are locked together.

Wish I could see Meghan in her Barbie costume. Might be humorous.

7:30 I disagree here. Allosexuals do not all consider sex a necessity (certain incels and married Christians might, but the wider allosexual population? No). It bothers me how ace people consistenty talk about allosexuals like we're sex-crazed or always talking about sex when we aren't. This is partly why so many allosexuals dispute asexuality (even if I personally don't dispute it and think ace people are valid), because ace experiences of disinterest or neutrality towards sex or finding sex boring are experiences allo and ace people share more often than not. It can feel like the line between the two is blurred to the point of invisibility, which is what frustrates a lot of allos in discussions of asexuality, because those experiences aren't ace-exclusive. No shade, just felt it needed to be brought up.

Good afternoon Meghan.

Something I have noticed while trying to learn about asexuality and whether it applies to me is how PERSISTENT ace people are in (not in the context of humour, but deadpan seriousness) repeatedly thinking that having the ability to experience sexual attraction means one a. Cannot distinguish or experience and appretiate other forms of attraction, b. Do not participate in loving platonic, romantic or otherwise not exclusively sexual relationships, and c. Is mentally or emotionally stunted (heavily implied by the baby-talk online ace spaces apply in discussions of allosexuality, sex attraction and how things such as kink aren't inherently sexual). Even as I relate more to asexuality and make irl ace friends, the online ace community is kind of pants if I'm honest.

Your point about ace people being able to speak the most objectively about sex (on the basis of not being biased by enjoyment) is utter nonsense. Does experiencing gender euphoria make someone inherently unqualified to discuss gender? Does enjoying painting mean I cannot objectively discuss the pros and cons of various styles and techniques? By your own logic you would be unable to objectively discuss kink because you yourself enjoy kink. Your claim is very pretentious and frankly I'm a bit tired of ace people treating their views about kink and sex as the objective truth when it is but one of many perspectives.

Hi, I'm absolutely late to this party, but I am a sex-repulsed Ace, and I can confirm that yes I still have kinks. I wouldn't go into the detail in a RU-vid comment section but since you had asked in the video I thought I would pop in and let you know that yes, it does happen. Thanks for spreading awareness 🖤🤍💜.

Thank you SO much for this, I learned a lot. 💜🤍🩶🖤