3 THINGS to do when PEOPLE STARE at YOU with BAD INTENTIONS 

I was bartender/bouncer at a pretty rough dive bar for 22 years. This video has some good advice. The looking back at them with the " dead soulless eyes" trick worked for me many times, because when one of these weak men stare at you with "bad intentions", the last thing they want is to have mistakenly picked a victim that is WAY crazier than they are.

I’ve been training for 40 years. And EVERYTHING you said here is spot on. One night my wife accidentally bumped into a pregnant women in a bar. They got hot immediately. There were 15 of them, and just me. I jumped in, apologized and offered to buy a round for our mistake. I got everyone’s order and told my wife to wait by the door, I walked to the bar pretending I was ordering drinks. I told the bartender what happened. I waved to the group, gave them a thumbs up, then we left quickly before they had a chance to figure out what was going on. We were probably 5 miles out of town in our car before they realized what happened.

In Australia we have changed the term “sucker punch” to “cowards punch”

My dad was a war vet, and he's been a child through various wars as well. He always told my brothers and I not to fight. He also told us to avoid bad people, places, and things.

When I was a kid, I never realised what my dad was doing when he would ask me, without looking, to describe a room we'd walked into and the people in it. He never actually did explain it to me, but, as I've gotten older, I reckon he was teaching me to develop my situational awareness. It's been an invaluable tool to me over the years and I hope to play the same game with my son as he grows up.

Also, if the guy leaves whatever place you are, be wary when you also leave the place.

The Marines say it is not retreating, it is moving to a temporary defensive position.😂

Someone whom I know that worked in special forces told me - just walk away but acknowledge their presence. 100% of the time if it not worth it. This video confirms his advice to me! Thanks for sharing!

I was bullied a lot as a youngster, then later began boxing and karate And something I learned is that someone coming close to you and staring you down is actually a rather simple situation to deal with (I don't mean it's easy in reality, because there are emotions involved, adrenaline dumps to deal with, etc.) but in general the situation isn't complicated. My general rule for these situations in this: 1. If I can leave, I leave. 2. If they've invaded my personal space and are so close to me that I can hit them, I hit them. 3. If they're outside of my range but are still close to me, I throw up "the fence" (putting my arms out in front of me, telling them to stay back and that I don't want any trouble or problems), and if they come closer or touch my hands/arms at all, I hit them.

Rule #1. Nothing good happens after midnight

This is such important information, my Dad always taught me to flat out ignore people like this and like you said it can actually infuriate them. I have personally noticed the difference from when I avoid eye contact compared to when I give them a good solid look (but not a long stare) is usually enough to make them feel like you're no pushover. It's a tricky balance, because you don't want to start fights but at the same time don't give off the message you're an easy target.

In my experience, avoiding town centres at weekends is a great form of defense.

I got bullied a lot at school and then got into martial arts: judo, karate, boxing. The confidence and calmness it gives you means that you don't even need to use it. And the physical conditioning gave me so many health benefits. Especially the boxing. And the friendships I made on the way were great, they were based on mutual respect.

My brother's friend was suckerpunched once at a party by a dude trying to impress some losers. He was k.o.'d and the dude left. But the next day he started to look for the dude until he found him and beat him up, he repeated that a couple of times when he saw the dude on the street and told him he was gonna keep doing it whenever he saw him. The dude ended avoiding going out anymore for months before asking for forgiveness.

Wise words. A friend of mine, a trauma surgeon, once said: "if people knew how difficult is to repair one's bones, they wouldn't go along breaking them" . Anyway, knowing how to easily break the offender bones, usually gets You out of these situations.

So many People with fragile egos in the modern world. This is why we have to watch videos like this to ensure that we learn to protect ourselves when we are in trouble.

This is valuable and very true. Spent most of my 20s doing mma. Never got in to a street fight. No harm in walking away.... for me personally i have nothing to prove. I have found most people who start street fights have no clue on how to fight anyway

As a taxi driver back in my twenties (nights) this sort of thing was VERY important. This guy knows what he’s talking about. The real deal.

Great advice. You win every fight you avoid…..

Yup! My go to is to give a moment glance (usually at their forehead) nod with a grin, and maintain in one form or another my situational awareness. If approached I will likely think of a random name with a inquisitive look on my face grin and call it out "Fred??" with a non threatening hand gesture in their direction. This tends to take them off guard thinking I have mistaken them for someone else, many times it's the other way around. This situation is so dynamic and really depends on your surroundings, you direction of travel, and many other factors to truly address properly.

As an Iraq/Afghanistan war vet I can still when needed affect the 1000-yard stare, this blank, heartless look has helped me avoid having to cause harm to people who have singled me out for bad intent. Another key to avoiding violence is maintaining calm, a bully is looking for fear and panic. If he does not elicit the response he seeks he will more likely walk away rather than risk attacking somebody with superior skill and/or experience. This may not work if the person is crazy, blackout drunk, or on drugs as they are not using their brain anyway. Then your best bet becomes the doctrine of rapid dominance. Overwhelming force to the weakest point of the body you can reach. The eyes, the throat, the testicles, and the knee are always the best points of attack to rapidly eliminate a threat. It is not a gun that kills, it is a hard heart that kills. The same goes for the use of violence in personal defense. If a person is willing to use overwhelming force to defend themselves, that person becomes far less likely to become a target.

I'm 70yo now, and have been a martial artist ever since I was 11yo (Judo, Okinawa-te, Shudokan, and dabbled a little in Aikido), and I was a close-combat instructor in the Marine Corps. I went on to teach self-defense classes after the military for some years. One thing I now grudgingly have to admit to, since I'm getting old, is that even though I'm still confident in my abilities to defend myself, I'm also aware of the fact that I do not have the stamina, strength, or resilience to absorb blows that I once had; so, I now carry a .45 and a tactical knife . . . and I am just as skilled with those tools as I once was with my hands and feet. However, I have come to the resolution that if I'm attacked, and I can't utilize my weapons - for whatever reason - and I just have to defend myself, I'm going for their eyes first . . . I will blind them as aggressively as possible. I refuse to be a willing victim. On a side note, relative to the staring issue, is that I learned many decades ago from my Sempai that you never, ever fixate your gaze on your opponent's face or stare into their eyes - because their face will be used as an intimidation tool, and you will get sucked into a sort of tunnel-vision effect and lose your peripheral vision to the point that you will be forced to react to their sudden sucker punch, rather than see it being initiated beforehand. The technique I always taught my students was to place your relaxed gaze upon their chest. This benefits you in several ways. First, you will be able to see their hands and feet move ever so slightly before they launch their attack, thus giving you an advantage in reaction time - and with practice, be able to predict and time the attack. Second, by not playing into their staring contest, you eliminate the intimidation effect they are hoping to instill. With practice, you will become more confident in your ability to counterattack with precision and focus. Cheers all, and be safe out there.

In two instances, situational awareness has saved my life and in others its probably saved me from injury. That said, it is very important to learn body language, because attackers will always telegraph their disposition and intentions. It can be a fine line, but keep your distance and use what's in your environment as an advantage to block an attack or a way to escape. When all else fails, though, and you know your going into a fight be the first to strike with no holds barred.

Really well articulated breakdown as always. 😊

I'm currently a security guard, overnight in DTLA, near skid row. I have to say this is all perfectly perfectly precisely spot on. Your verbal skills are tremendously useful for de-escalation as well. Be cool, speak casually.

A good way to avoid trouble is don't do "stupid". Don't go to stupid places at stupid times with stupid people or do stupid stuff.

Great advice actually. For those who watched the whole video and actually listened. Stay present and aware, deescalate, strategically retreat. No one wins if you end up fighting.

The last line was really on point

Good advice. From lots of street fighting experience, I can promise you that there are people out there that are literally looking for any excuse to fight. That's their goal for the night - to beat somebody up. Doesn't matter who it is. Naive people think just because they aren't doing anything aggressive, they are safe in a crowd or out on the street. So when somebody gets in your face for no reason, don't think you can argue your way out of it. There is no reason and you've just been "chosen". So stand tall, say things like "hey man, I don't have any beef with you. I'm cool. No problem. Just want to get home and get out of your way." And then also do everything this guy ^^^ said. Maintain eye contact so they can't surprise you, slowly walk away, and keep an eye on him and especially all his buddies. They'll hit you too. If they are mean enough to start a fight in the street with a rando, they are dangerous as heck, have tons of fighting experience (they do this nightly or weekly) and you will. not. win. You'll wake up in the hospital if you're lucky.

I was down at a local pub the day after a local footy team (Aussie rules football AFL) played an interstate team. There was a group of out of towners drinking near me and my missus. One was a Maori fella with the face tats and looked mean enough. He's staring over at me for a while I was wearing sunnies and looked slightly away from his stare but was watching him. I told the missus that bother may be on the way then he got up and walked over, I said to my missus, here we go, he comes up introduced himself and just wanted to talk about and meet my 5 kg Jack Russell bitch i have sitting on my lap. He's got 3 of them and said mine was a beauty and he can't wait to get back home to his dogs. Ya gotta be careful and not assume, if it was some other dude I probably wouldn't have worried about the situation

👏 excellent advice. (I provided security in a variety of environments for quite a few years.) Thank you for this great video!

Great advice. In these situations I prefer to calmly ask 2 questions while staring back. 1) "Are you OK bro?" 2) "What exactly are we doing here"? This has saved me multiple times from sucker punches, escalation and helped the other person understand that I was in control. It rarely came to fists after that (only with drunk people).

It all boils down to situational awareness. It's key to managing any situation.

I think it’s hard to have rules that are set in stone for these situations as so many things vary. Exhibiting calmness when someone tries to intimidate you is invaluable and this can be learned through practicing a practical martial art (it’s nice to realise that most guys who don’t train can’t fight for shit). I think a lot of the skills and judgment calls are learnt as we grow up, if you happen to grow up in a rough area with a regular threat of violence then you tend to get pretty good at reading situations. Twice in my adult life I have opted to NOT make eye contact with an aggressor and both times the result has been good. Both situation’s were in the street in the middle of the day and although very much aware of their intense stare and posturing I felt the best option was to remain aware of them but not make eye contact. Because they were walking I think they were looking for a victim and eye contact would be the green light for them. Everything else in the video about eye contact I agree with but I do think there are exceptions.

You learn to fight so you don't have to fight. ❤

When I was 13, my dad told me, “if someone stares at you or mean mugs you, look away. What? You think lasers are going to shoot out of your eyes if you stare back? It’s not about what people say or how hard they stare at you, it’s about what people do that matters. Then, you fight.” My father taught me how to box, him being a boxer himself. 15 years later, I’m now training my son.

Situational awareness, as mentioned in the video, is crucial. I always scan my environment and look for any potential threats and watch them. If appropriate, I'll acknowledge them with a smile and downward nod. And by all means don't be afraid to retreat from the situation if you feel it's getting too hot. For me, if the other guy tries to escalate into a staring war then that's my cue to look for ways to retreat. As I got older I have learned that there is no shame in retreat if it means being spared from getting into an ego fight.

you have no idea how effective this is, i witness crazy things all the time I live in nyc & its great to always be aware of your surroundings, to be able to read the room

Great video. You, and your channel, are awesome!

I've been a student of mixed martial arts for probably 25 years or so so I'm pretty confident in my skill set to protect myself and my family. I think all you need is a strong mind. And be able to actually speak to people in a de-escalating manner. But people do have a tendency to stare. I just smile back when they stare me a little too long and then they smile. A little smile goes a long way lol.

I got bullied ruthlessly when I was a kid. I had to fight. Eventually started winning. I hate fighting, I just happen to be really damn good at it. I have zero tolerance for bullies. Of course my head is a lot cooler nowadays. Cheers

Spot on. I have found that about 3 seconds eye contact is the right amount: long enough to acknowledge their presence and "assess" them as a potential threat. Then I look away, always sideways. Never down; that is a sign of submission/weakness. Ignoring them (but still being aware of their movements) at this point sends the message that you have assessed their potential and deemed it not worthy of concern - this gives them pause for thought. Only once has someone taken it a step further after such an exchange; I'd just finished strapping my kid in the car. He approached and said "alright mate, there a problem?". I stared at him and with a calm, even but direct tone told him that there wasn't - but given that I had my child in my care, there would be a very severe problem if he decided there was. He persisted evidently so as not to lose face so I made it quite clear: my child is in the car, back off or you'll discover the savagery a father protecting his child is capable of. At that point it became clear I had to assert full dominance - it worked. Still got mouthy but he did back up several steps, at which point I got on with my business. Fact is, most gobshites nowadays dont have the stomach for a fight with someone who is clearly not intimidated - unless they are packing a blade etc. Which of course, in the above situation, makes it all the more important to gain control of the situation. A small Co-op carpark, cameras everywhere, people moving in and out on a bright sunny day, thw likelihood of him drawing a hidden weapon is slim. Had it been dark, isolated etc, my approach would have been quite different. Of course, it does also help knowing you are physically equipped to deal with the situation should it get that far.

I was raised you always look at someone when talking to them. Looking is not staring though. I was raised in a family where the men are strong and kind but no nonsense, my favorite uncle was the "runt" of the family at 5'11" army airborne special forces. He was intimidating when he wanted to be, probably the kindest man you could ever know. But looking him in the eyes was very difficult. He taught me young how to look and not be challenging, and how to be completely aware of the area you are in. These are lessons everyone should know. I passed these on to my kids and now my granddaughters. I miss him and thank him every day

I have came across guys that are confident with there mates but not confident alone, to a degree there just posers but still make space and look civil but confident, never portray a victim.

Stare at their eyebrows has got to be one of the most intriguing suggestions I've gained from any youtube vid on any subject - whether its baking bread or how to relieve an L5-S1 herniated disk or what render to use . I tend to look at other peoples' mouths when just in an ordinary conversation almost as much as I also tend to look at them directly ,, that is to say, into their eyes. That is because I am genuinely interested ( or trying to be ) in what they have to say and it helps me to ascertain the words they are using ( I'm lip-reading ; not sure if thats because I am a bit deaf or just don't attend to speech on its own very well ) . If I were to look at someone's eyebrows instead then I would necessarily , to some extent, be disengaging from their speech, what they are saying. If you are in a confrontation with an aggressor and you have decided talking too them will not help you, you very much need to keep your gaze in their direction whilst disengaging ( i.e. neither reacting to their attempt to force nor being prompted by them ) . Also , just going from a situation where you are talking to someone to where you are looking at someone whilst staying quiet is often disconcerting for the aggressor - although this works best at distance. Either way it gives you maybe 2 seconds to not be directed by the other person, gather your thoughts and then fcuk them up .

Simply explained in elegant British manner. 👏

Hear, hear. Solid video. I thankfully deescalated several potentially bad situations back in my 20s-30s by controlling both myself and the situation as best able (considering the individual circumstances). The correct amount/type of eye contact, body language, and humor (aka creation of empathy by humanization) can work wonders in most situations. As silly as it sounds, some of the strongest advice about conflict I've learned is from the movie Roadhouse (1989); be nice. Be nice until it's time not to be nice. The key is learning to recognize (and hopefully avoid) that moment.

I look back with dead eyes and nod. That solves it 95% of times. It's a sign: we are in the same page.

This worked. I can't thank you enough for this advice to save me from a sticky situation I was in. My wife and I are back on better terms.

Instant subscribe. I went down the RU-vid rabbit hole and ended up with a bunch of recommendations on self defense. I can say, that the best fight you'll ever have is the one you were able to avoid because you read all the signs for posturing and you took active steps to "inform" how things were going to go. Also, in my honest opinion...anxiety and hypervigiliance, which are typically both a nuisance to have, actually serve as a helper and not a hinderer of survival.

Situational awareness combined with quick instinct will keep you alive for another day. I've avoided so many bad situations by making that eye contact and a quick head nod down and up and just continuing on my way. My dad use to tell me "if you get in a ifght, you're going to get hit." and "there's no such thing as a fair fight.". I particularly like not getting hit or stabbed and so in the few seconds you have to react to a stare, go with your instinct but always be prepared for anything. The reflections in the environment is a priceless tool. 36t0 degree view with a few glances while pumping gas, ATM, etc.

this is a great guide for riding on public transit in Chicago...

This went on here where I live for several months and everytime I got eye on me staring me down I let them know I see it..

Good video, as always. I work at a Sheriff's Office County Jail and a CPI instructor. What I do when someone is staring at me is mostly the head nod downward, and that tends to work. When it's a very serious stare, I stare back then stare at their feet for 5-10 seconds, and that throws them off completely!

One thing I would add when using situational awareness when dealing with someone that means to sucker punch you is to make sure use all your senses. Use your hearing to listen for quick movements, especially if they're moving quickly up behind you to throw the punch. Same with feeling the ground. Running comes with heavier footfalls. Using vision is absolutely important and I agree completely with this video so train with an wholistic approach which will make your proprioception even greater.

This Dr Phillips guy knows his shit. He also practices it. Good channel.

Excellent advise esp in today's crazy world.

Years ago I loved to pick on bullies, loved it. Then I realized I was being a bully to them. Peace is a better option. But knowing how to fight is essential.

When I left the military situational awareness was automatic my head was always on a swivel accessing threat level and exits . Now as an old man I have changed like I thought I would but the exit is my preferred option, never argue about anything with strangers.

Great Advice. Learn to fight so you don't have to fight.

Truly excellent counsel. Listen to what this man has to say - and heed his advice.

What I just realized, is that in many of the situations, in which I ended up fighting, I was just staring at the person for some time. Maybe it could have not escalated the situation, if I didn't stare, but at least I am still alive and intact, so it worked fine. And on the other hand, I had many situations, in which people, from whom I've sensed closet aggression, stepped away, because I was staring at them. Usually, my go-to in the stare-kind-of-situations is look in the eyes for 5-8 seconds, slowly look down at the shoes and go back. Sometimes I move on, if I decide, that this person likely doesn't pose a threat, but sometimes I come back at the head level with my eyes and continue the eye contact, waiting for his next move. This way I, intentionally or not, show a person, that I acknowledge him and especially him in the environment and actually evaluate the situation via understanding, what he is, where his arms are, if he is carrying something, or his arms are in his pockets, checking the stance, if he is in the position to sprint to me, or he has his legs behind one another and so on. Never ever had I been sucker punched or experienced a surprise attack. Even though my knuckles are scarred because of the amount of fights, my nose has a scar, my arm is cut, all that happened, happed to me in a non-surprising manner. Russia is sometimes a cruel place, so some awareness can go a long way.

I usually win the stare down. I learned a trick a long time ago and I'll share it with you. If someone is trying to intimidate you and getting violent smile at them like they just made you the happiest person in the world for giving you a target to unload your decades of rage on. Usually at that point I'm not talking to the person trying to intimidate me anymore. I'm thinking about where I'm going to hit them and what moves I'm going to try. Something about KNOWING that I'm already thinking about the fight and not the intimidation at all and that I look like I'm gonna enjoy it. My antagonist has always sensed it. It has always made people walk away. Often looking pale and like they have seen death himself.

Thanks for keeping it 100.

The reflective surfaces trick is one I use all the time. Really helps with keeping track of your environment

You don't mess with people you don't know unless you're prepared for a trip six feet under. Words of wisdom boys.

This does work most of the time. Before I had ever been in a fight I was terrified of getting into one. Just not backing down and displaying confidence even when I didn't have any saved me so many times. Bullys want an easy target. As I got older I learned how to take care of myself somewhat and it even boosted my confidence more for situations like this. It won't work every time though so def learn some self defense. Some people are just out to cause damage and damage themselves

That's why I carry a equalizer at all times and yes I keep them in sight at all times plus the people they are with and I don't go around crowds without backup strength in numbers.

Always look them in the eye back, but I don't stare for long. Lock eyes for a bit, hold it for a lil then look away, but not down, to the side and go on. If you stare they get intimidated back, and they try to escalate it.

Good info here, I grew up in a rough neighborhood on the outskirts of Buenos Aires and we were on situational awareness before it was a thing, first rule I always follow is if possible don't put yourself in a situation where you may need to defend yourself, second always walk like you belong there even if isn't your neck of the woods but here's the fence line, don't walm like you are a big shot or own the street that will attract challenges, don't go to stupid places at stupid hours and there's nothing wrong with evasion, remember you don't have to accept all fight invitations l, the best way to win a fight is to not be in it.

Firstly, I agree with everything you've said. Yes. All true. You have a very good understanding of the psychology of violence. However, I think it's important to remember that there is no magic formula for dealing with a situation. Every one is different and you have to get a feel for it. I grew up in Merseyside, and the Birkenhead of the 80's and early 90's was a very violent place. "What are you looking at!?" Smack! was a daily occurrence. If some helmet has decided he's going to smack some innocent character who's just walking past,....that's what he'll do. The best strategy is not to be there in the first place. Unhelpful I know, but true.

You are a good man.

I just stare back and smirk at them as I pass by. I was taught by my father if confronted strike first and don't stop, use every advantage to disable your a attacker and create distance. If you wind up on the ground remember anything goes to survive. The best advise he gave me is there is no shame in just walking away, but never back down when it comes to a hostile situation and then do everything you can to survive.

4:46 this is great advice. I have been in many situations and can handle them comfortably. But leaving a bad situation is sometimes the best method, definitely so if you are alone. We don’t leave friends 👊🏻

Sometimes you can diffuse the situation with friendliness and/or humor, though not always of course.

Valuable advice. I had a situation many years ago when I stared at a guy briefly after he had just about run me over backing his truck onto the sidewalk. I then heard his truck door slam shut and out he came wearing nothing but a pair of cut-off shorts, and before tattoos were popular, having one of a stricking cobra on one arm, and on the other arm an image of a rat biting his arm with blood coming out and also a naked woman. He got right into my face and smelling like total hell said to me "You stare at me and I'll fucking kill you!" I met his eyes and said "you almost ran me over". He got even closer and said again "you stare at me and I'll fucking kill you!". I then said I was sorry for offending him while all the time looking him right in the eye and not stepping back. He repeated it yet again, and I again apologized without ever taking my eyes off of his or stepping back. Eventually he turned and walked away and the whole thing was over.

I'm 45 now, and I feel really grateful that from a very young age I've had no problem making eye contact with people, and even smiling at women in the street I don't even know, and it's because I've played in bands in clubs and even done busking on my own in the street, and so I've always felt that having strong eye contact with my audience is imperative to get a real connection. It's funny, how sometimes it takes aging to really look back on something you started very young to fully appreciate it! ;)

Always good ! I always wear rear view sunglasses. I walk through some 'ugly' parts of town and they remove the surprise sneak attack from the 'back biters' .

One thing after being caught unintentionally in a staring match, is not to get out of it by looking down (which is submissive but also acknowledges that you recognise the conflict) but by looking up and to the side with a bored/blank look on your face. And then just act normal like the staring never happened.

I have no idea why this showed up in my suggested list and was bored so watched it. All 3 things are spot on and things I've done unconsciously for years. Your first piece of advice is actually very good and can disarm many situations. A hello lets them know you a)aren't scared and b) don't have bad intentions yourself.

These videos are very valuable. I deal with this all day every day wherever I go.

I'm 65 years old. Went to the grocery store and walked by a guy who "mad dogged" me. I noticed coming in the the store he also "mad dogged" a car that didn't stop to let him pass. He was waiting to check out and I was still shopping and I just walked by him. The guy looked like a bully. I looked at him long enough to let him know if he did start a fight, he would be in one. One of the fears I have of growing old is not being able to defend myself.

For years, I avoid eye contact as if I am in my own world. Whenever its necessary, I will give a potential aggressor that psychotic look. The deranged look normally deescalates the potential confrontation. Sometimes the threat is much bigger and stronger. It has worked for me because that crazy look makes those bad guys for some reason think twice. I have been using that look for 68 years and count my blessings.

I’m an octogenarian. Bullied in grades 1-9. Learned judo by myself from a ten cent booklet poorly written and illustrated. I tried it out on my friend RJ with great success to his and my amazement. Began learning Karate as a teenager before anyone even knew it existed. Got so good at it that I became captain of the university Karate club. Had the first time real life use when a 22yo was staring me down in the cafeteria. I instinctively tried your suggestions. As I rose from the lunch table he tried to bash my skull in with a steel cafeteria tray swung edgewise! I blocked and punched with my right hand into his nose so hard with full body weight going into punch that his nose started spurting blood like a butchered pigs jugular vein. Luckily my chemistry professor and his mates saw the incident. I never saw the kid again. Prof said he was taken to ER and expelled. I went on for many more years in universities to become a scientist. At 49yo, around Christmas time, I noticed a van parked unusually close to the driver side of my car in a large empty parking lot ( situational awareness). It was after 10pm. I wondered if I should approach my car. After thinking and observing I decided I had to get home, so I went for it… as I squeezed to my door from the rear of my car, a short thirtish year old man stepped in front of me at the front of my car and gave me the “I’m going to kill u look”. I’m 6’3” 240 lbs (30lbsfat). At that time a monster of a man at least 6’8” tall and 350lbs stepped behind me trapping me between them and the vehicles…. A VERY TENSE FEW SECONDS OCCURRED when big said to little “Leroy, come around here!” Motioning to the rear of the van, to which Leroy moved so quickly to the rear of the van I was astonished. Big then clops Leroy on the side of the head he almost fell to the ground. Big then said “You dumb m**ther F@#ker, I told you NOT to pick someone that big before! He could have hurt me!” Now in my eighties I only get good looking women giving me the stare, wondering if I can still do it. Sigh! Age has its advantages I guess.

Excellent advice. I was always told to look away. Instead I look at them and nod as if to say "Hey man." Worked every time so far.

Retreat is underrated. Stay vigilant.

There is a technique for breaking a stare that I learned from a primatologist. I call it the slow blink break. As long as you have a safe cushion of distance, break the stare by slowly, deliberately blinking once, and breaking the stare as your eyes close. Between many primates, this expresses confidence and a slight air of dismissal. I've made it work many, many, times to defuse the situation.

Now that was a well thought out video. The quick downward nod is perceived by trained men as a sign that you are one of them, they know from that moment that the pain and claret will be a two-way thing. In fact, the nod coupled with some beef is often enough to see big fellas into old age without ever learning to scrap. 😀

What you explain is pretty much on point...I am very observant..things I did in the Marines..I just observe my surroundings, I guess out of habit, but I still have fun...

The best thing to do when someone stares at you with bad intentions is to stare back for about 3 seconds while maintaining a very stoic face - look away (but not downward) for about 3 seconds - then stare back at him for 2 seconds..look away again . Do this a total of three times and then just look at him stoically maybe once a minute or so. This makes it clear to him that you’re not afraid of his stare, not afraid to stare back - but you’re not looking for a fight. But you’ve done it in a way that shows that your ready to fight if need be.

I love this video. This guy is not giving you a bunch of moralistic bs. He is telling you straight up how humans work in conflict.

I always return it with a dead stare, slightly smile and slowly break eye contact sideways. Usually ends it. I let them know that i am relaxed and are tracking them without directly looking at them .

I have been fighting since i was 7 years old when my mom gave me the go ahead to fight the local bully. spent several years in different foster homes being bullied and molested, I joined gangs, lived in over 15 states. I've been in about 90 fights. lost 4 or 5. I'm NOT a tough guy. at all. I'm scared to fight and It's hard for me to handle the adrenalin afterwards ( I actually cry sometimes..lol) BUT... I've learned a few key things that have helped me win. 1. Remain calm. 2.stay aware. 3.Don't let personal opinions or emotions get in the way. 4.Maintain eye contact. 5.If they get within 3-4 feet of me, I attack first and attack hard. and the most important thing is, if you feel the "shift" in room energy.... LEAVE. bonus tip.. I wear glasses. I like to calmly take them off and put them in my pocket.

This is very good advice thanks

For over the last 25 years, I've had people give me "death stares", especially as a teenager and in my 20s. Usually dealt with it by giving a small stare back and a small smirk, but never turn my back on them until them or I are out of the picture. From this not once has it resorted to violence.

Learning to spot the face of PTSD afflicted veterans in early situational distress is a useful tool. I am a non ptsd veteran and after years of observation I can often tell when a fellow veteran is beginning to boil over . Once the poor souls hit the flash point it's difficult if not impossible at times to deescalate them . The gent with the focused stare wearing the green shirt shows the sad marker of ptsd .Thanks for Your videos Sir

Good advise

Some good tips. I’ll remember to focus on the eyebrows, using windows as auxiliary observation aids. Thank you for this.

One thing that has worked for me on a couple of occasions is to become very friendly. Ask them if their life is going okay or if they've heard a new song. If they have buddies, talk to them too. Treat them like they are people, sometimes they're just having a bad day.

My uncle always told me that if you're being troubled by a group, size up who the leader is. If something starts, take him out first. The rest will go scrambling. On the rare occasion that I've had this happen to me, his advice worked.