Two stories- first, years ago, I was at the grocery store with my fiancee. A real jerk walked past my fiancée, bumped hard into her, and said, “Move, (expletive).” I immediately said that there was no need for that kind of language or behavior, and the guy got in my face, trying to initiate a fight. I walked away. In the car, my fiancée said she was embarrassed that I didn’t defend her honor. A year later, she left me for someone else. Second story - today, a neighbor down the street flagged me down and accused me of calling the police on him for loud music he was playing in his yard. He was trying to square up with me, went on to insult my job, and my wife, and suggested I wasn’t “being a man.” I listened to his rant, denied his accusations, and departed without engaging. My wife, who witnessed the whole episode, said something like, “He was challenging the wrong man; he’s lucky you have so much restraint.” Moral of the story - don’t get into fights, and find a loving partner who wants to be with a grownup.
should've smashed both of them, who cares what the girls thinks, it's selfish to not act, you could stop them acting that way in the future, certainly make them think twice.
Sun Tzu said the most important thing in The Art Of War: Always leave your enemy an escape route, or else they will fight with maximum ferocity once they realize they have nothing to lose.
I've observed this many times to be an effective tool in business negotiations with deceptive people. If you know they're trying to snow you, and they know you will call their bluff, time and time again, they will back down if you have left them an out that they perceive as a way to save face in the situation.
The best advice is to not allow anyone displaying aggression to enter you personal space. Avoid any emotion and handle your business when they cross the line. Never allow ego or pride to dictate your actions.
deal with these demons all the time I am in property management, most of the tenants are on disability....some are pissed, some are pissed and high....now, i am a small guy at 170, and 5 foot 8.....love the advice here from Jocko, avoid their world at all costs, but be prepared and trained if theres no other way out....had a dude get right into my face, had to push him off in a split second.
Bouncer for a decade, everything here said is legit. Best choice is always to walk away if you can. Fighting, especially in like a bar, is a great way to get yourself crippled, even if you're Billy Badass and I've seen it happen to a lot of people.
@@paulrutkovskis yeah, tough guy mentality is a great way to get drug down by 6 people and stomped on. Also, around here there are mutual combat laws, so if you are dumb and pick a fight with 4 people and they kick your ass really bad the cops won't do anything for you. They'll ask what happened and the guy will be like, "I gave them the finger, and then they all attacked me." The cops response is always, well you gave them the finger, it's mutual combat, have a nice night and don't do it again."
@@coldsteel.and.courage bro my enemy, called his 6 friends to hit me and i ran , he got cctv footage and telling my friends, look he is a coward , he ran
RU-vidr BlastphamousHD said the same thing, and he met a lot of bullies in his troubled school years. "If A had a real problem with B, he would not get in B's face all threatening, he would attack B out of the blue and B would likely know why. If someone has real beef with you, they won't try to intimidate or bully."
I had a random angry guy today try to fight me at walmart after bumping into me. The guy was half my size and in his 50s but I got the strong feeling he had a gun or knife on him, and he was unhinged, so I just ignored him walked away. It was a weird experience and made me think how there's ppl like this in the world.
I was a 19-Delta in the army the training I took with me I brought home when I left. I can see unstable idiots every day at least 20 plus I'm 6,4 260lb martial artist to as a hobby, rule of thumb if he is a little guy hot head all mouth they have some sort of weapon other wise there's no sain reason to poke a happy bear just eating his honey.
Just yesterday I had a conflict with a lady that bumped in to me at the grocery store. She mouthed off to me, I mouthed back. I walked to the bathrooms and her brother blocked the passage out of the hallway, confronting me about what happened. First thing I noticed, he reached his hand in to his pocket. Had it in there the whole time. Guy was much smaller than me, but he seemed way too confident going up against me, a much bigger guy. I walked passed him stating I was on the phone, I’m in a rush, trying to get to a more open area with more witnesses in case things got ugly. Two more people surrounded me as I walked out of the hallway, totaling to 3. I had to swallow my pride, this isn’t worth getting stabbed or shot over. She wronged me, but it didn’t matter. I was the bad guy in their eyes. So I looked the lady in the eyes that I had the initial argument with and apologized for being rude. “Look, I was in a rush, I was really rude. I apologize”. She accepted it and they walked away. Moral of this story, just be the bigger man and say what you need to say to avoid dying over bs. Edit: Alright, I seem to be getting a lot of replies split between “you’re a wimp for backing down” and “you did the right thing”. Look, I’ll say this. I’m so embarrassed by this moment in time. I hate thinking about how I backed down. I was the weaker man in this story, this isn’t like in the movies at all where good prospers over evil. I’m just a normal everyday guy like most of you. I would delete this comment, but I feel like it could help some people that find themselves in unfortunate situations like this. All I can say is, take my embarrassing situation and use it to decide what you’ll do if you ever find yourself in trouble. Ask yourself if it’s worth it.
@@K4113B4113 tbh, I’ve been shot over something just as stupid a few years ago. I’m still dealing with court to this day for that incident. I’ve come to learn no matter how much your pride hurts, it can really be a whole lot worse.
@@Drpepperspray1010 Wow that is insane to imagine. I'd love to know what happened in that situation. And where you were shot and if you recovered fully. And what the gist of the court case is about. Sorry, haha. Yeah it's insane that anyone should die over protecting their ego...
“You can’t truly call yourself “peaceful” unless you’re capable of great violence, if you’re not capable of violence you’re not peaceful, you’re harmless”
Being capable of great violence doesn’t make you capable of peace. And you don’t have to be capable of “great violence” to be peaceful. That’s just illogical teenage thinking. You just want an excuse to think of yourself as “capable of great violence.” Just your ego talking.
Pride goes before a fall and there is a hidden honour in walking away. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the highest level of intelligence. Restraint, calm and patience are not celebrated enough in our society. Let life teach fools their lessons.
Wow this was really good to see, I almost got into a fight with my Roomate tn and a couple nights before. I’m moving out tomorrow. I’m glad I was able to subdue him without having to throw a single punch.
Defend yourself. I was raised to be passive and told to never fight back; thanks mom and dad. Well that got me a ton of screws and rods in my dominant right elbow, a severe TBI and screws plates and pins in my mouth, and a lifelong neurological seizure disorder from that head injury. I'm only 32 years old. I have to be on medication for life. Then there's the PTSD associated with these horrific injuries and surgeries. If I could turn back time i would have rather defended myself at all costs; a prison cell is better than lifelong physical disabilities or better than being dead. You can't simply avoid everything. Please protect your livelihood at all costs. Do not make the same mistakes I did.
@@kenosabi so you think his injuries are better than a prison cell? Im the last guy who wants to go to jail, but what hes going through is no joke man. You lack empathy.
@Rob Roy Thanks for existing! Since thanks to you Jocko is alive, not only that we can learn from him, I hope someday you throw out some content yourself, I'll be the first to subscribe and provide support!
Here's my story from 15 years ago where I wish I could go back and change my decision making. Dating a girl who was a bit wild., get a call at 1:00am asking me to pick her up from a bar where she was jumped on by a group of girls. I show up, she's outside crying. My mistake was walking into the bar to find out what went on. I was talking calmy but loud to the most mature of the group. I'm agreeing with her that my GF is a nutbag and probably instigated the whole thing. Guy walks up behind me, starts pulling on my shirt telling me to go. To make it short, I'm the first one out the door followed by a group of guys, one of them being the alpha right behind me. I was in pretty damn good physical shape but not in my right mind. I end up being hit from behind and woke up on the curb, taken away in an ambulance. 7 plates and 28 screws later, jaw wired shut, dislocated right shoulder, I was out of work for almost a year. Still can't throw a baseball after many years, when I used to toss a 90mph fastball. Fortunately I was able to maintain my beauty, lol. My advice that most probably don't need to hear is to just walk away, don't go into the bar, just go home. I was at the age where I felt indestructible, and that night ended that for good.
Wow. That must have been a horrible experience not to mention the recovery period. Sending you strength for your continued healing although it's been awhile the mental and psychological trauma sometimes linger. And I'm sorry for your lost of full mobility 💔
The best way to win a fight is the avoid a fight. There is ALWAYS someone meaner than you. They're out there, and you never know who they are until it's too late.
How do you deal with thugs? I don't waste my time dealing with thugs, I don't walk away... I just don't walk into the situation in the first place. If and only if I couldn't see it comming then I walk away, and if walking away isn't an option, then I deal with them... swiftly... with shere badassery. That's the moral of this episode... to pay attention so you don't have to deal with them in the first place.
I think the moral of the story is that while walking away from a just fight might haunt you for life, it’s a small price to pay to know you avoided the potential consequences of ruining your life outright over something you could’ve walked away from.
Yeah say if you give in and become violent you can lose your life , or get beat up so bad you can't walk. Not worth it. And say you win the fight and the cops come they automatically will assume ur the agressor
@@oragamithunder5725 You can hit someone once, they fall, hit their head and they die. Then you go to prison because you wanted to defend your ego. I understand wanting to fight when you're young but if you're older than like 22 or 23 you need to grow up and let that shit go. It is not worth it.
Years ago in college was at a bar and a guy was cat calling my then gf as we were leaving, kind of just looked at him and kept going, putting gf in front of me as walked out. She was pissed that I didn’t turn around and get in that guys face (she’s from Jersey), I said “why it’s not worth it” and she wouldn’t get it, she thought I wasn’t a man and incapable of protecting her. Apparently some girls really want you to fight for their honor, not knowing anything of what could happen after🤦🏻♂️
I'm literally incapable of picturing a scenario where this man wouldn't look aggressive or dangerous sufficient that some other dude would challenge him.
Usually depends, I remember this video where a little girl got grabbed and no one did anything but watched. Sure I’ll ignore a fight and ego, but what if it’s to save somebody who doesn’t have a chance, like an old man getting robbed and dragged across the sidewalk holding onto his wallet and people just watched and recorded. I can’t live with that.
Within legal laws and rights, you can defend the other person and still come out okay. Just be careful of your limitations. Sometimes you don't win all the fights.
Big guys get targetted as much as or more than little guys. It's a macho thing. If he responded by getting angry, it'd be a fight. His best advice was to be assertive towards them, but otherwise not worry about them. Odds are that it's someone else on the bus that starts the interaction by bitching about them playing music or how boisterous they are. If they are interacting with each other, they aren't looking for trouble.
A real man will smack it. While in excruciating pain you know you will recover, the mosquito on the other hand, well it doesn't end well for her and it'll send a message out to all the other mosquito's you mean business! LOL!
Was part of a shock trauma code one night during residency that ended in the death of a big body builder. A simple single stab to the chest (entered his heart) with a 4” knife ended this young guys life in a beef at a local club. By the time his buddies brought him in the door of the trauma center it was too late. Another resident and I sewed his chest closed after he was pronounced dead and I remember thinking what a shame, such an incredible specimen of a man in the prime of his life who would probably still be alive if he had just walked away from that conflict. That’s all it takes.
To me, the hardest part is keeping your emotions in check, in particular fear, but also anger. I've been in a situation where I was standing in fear of my bully and froze up until I got hit by him. I don't know why or how it happened, but I snapped and went berserk. I didn't expect to have a chance against him, but in my crazed state, I put him in the defensive and he got pommelled by me. I didn't hear a teacher telling me to stop, nor did I realise it when someone tried to pull me away. It took two to actually drag me off him. Only then I regained control over my body. Before that it was like watching myself. It was scary in more ways than one...
I get what you're saying- im normally a scared skinny guy who stays away from danger, but when someone threatens me i become this wild animal who is not afraid to die. I get this crazy strength all of a sudden and the confronter always backs off in the end
100% true. these can MOSTLY be avoided by just looking the other way, not giving the aggressor the time of day. I grew up in Brooklyn, seen plenty of crackheads, crazy people, violent people who will zero in on you just for making eye contact with them. My wife grew up in a sleepy little town, she tends to get invested in other people's drama mostly by just looking at it😂. I have to always tell her to look the other way if there's a scene. Luckily we moved to a quiet town, but I still have those instincts I grew up with. And that's why I started jiu jitsu in the first place. I'm a non confrontational person, but the confidence and security I gained by simply knowing if things ever escalated I would know exactly how to handle it really changed my life.
@@testickles8834 I don't understand your comment. If your asking how many people have died from fights or altercations when it could've been avoided then I concur. If you're implying that people look away while someone else is being attacked and that attack leads to death and people just avoid it and look away, then you misinterpreted my comment, Testicles.
Is that still true for a 0.5-1 second of eye contact followed by a disinterested demeanour and going about your business? Or do you strictly avoid eye contact and just use your periphery?
@@marcalan1198 I would suggest looking for a MMA, Kick-boxing, Thai boxing or any other type of martial art that has real world application. If you find a club where they compete in full-contact that’s a good sign that it’s a practical martial art. But you don’t have to compete yourself obviously. You can also look for a self-defence club, though there are a lot of them that are what we call “bullshido” as in bullshit. It’s important that it’s applicable in real life. If they do sparring, that’s a good sign. Some Krav Maga clubs are good, but make sure that what they teach actually looks practical. Challenge them with questions. Now if you don’t have ANY martial arts/self-defence clubs in your area which seems unlikely, you can get your own boxing bag. Then just watch RU-vid for proper technique and practice a lot until you have quick and powerful punches/attacks. If you’re practicing for street defence then make sure to do some practice without boxing gloves too. Warm up and stretch your wrists before you start so you don’t hurt them and really get the technique right so you don’t hurt yourself and so you get power. When you practice, do lots of straight punches. They’re quick and effective. Make sure to get your weight into those punches with proper technique. Also practice some elbow strikes with rotational force (the same way a boxer throws a hook punch). You can even practice without a boxing bag. Start right now with shadow boxing. Learn the techniques and practice them in the air. In front of a mirror is even better. Make sure you’ve got your guard up and a fighting stance that makes you stable while still being able to move. You can also practice holding your guard up but with open hands in a de-escalating manner, without being in a fighter stance. From there you can imagine de-escalating a situation with words while at the same time being ready to fight.
@@K4113B4113 thanks so much for all your advice. I'm definitely going to start training and learning self defense with RU-vid videos like Tony Jeffries. he's good fighter with good basics + boxing training videos. thanks for your generous advice.
Thanks for this video---great insights! At 70, my days of taking on a handful of punks are long over. I avoid bars, buses, subways, and parking garages. Oh, and nothing good happens after Midnight. In the event that trouble makes itself unavoidable and inescapable, I am prepared to utilize the rights secured by my concealed carry license. I may be 70 but my handgun is forever 21. I practice situational awareness to the best of my ability and I hit the range every week. With just a smidgen of luck, I should be fine. Again, thanks for the video.
Exactly! As a woman over 50 with combat knife training, I'm STILL not going to be able to avoid the jerkoff who thinks old women are easy targets, so they're just going to have to be the target.
@UG 100 rounds every Saturday. 15 rounds in a 15" circle from 15 yards in 15 seconds. I get better, little by little, all the time. By August 2023, I expect to have it down to a 10" circle. So, yes, I agree, I should be fine haha.
I've seen it many, many times, women starting arguments and they then deliberately involve their male partner in the altercation, like a dog-owner unleashing his dog on someone, and most of the times the men involved aren't looking for a fight.
I think a man who is insecure and is hyper-focused on power dynamics will attract women who are insecure and hyper-focused on power dynamics. "But she's hot," go find a woman who shows mutual respect, you know damn well they're in abundance and Japan's not gonna provide a mute waifu for you
The derangement of femininity is just as real as the derangement of masculinity. Unfortunately, it seems to be far more damaging, regardless of how it began. It also seems to be instinctive, since you see it emerging in grade school, and you see less of it as you grow up. The Woman-child exists just as surely as the ever-present Man-child. Get your buddy to dump the bitch and toss a coin to your witcher.
This is a very mature and wise advice. Avoid unnecessary conflict. There are idiots in the streets. Observation of surroundings frees you from most problematic idiots. Don't let idiots enter into your world, don't let them drag you into theirs. Engage only when there's no other option to protect you. Be prepared even if you never need it.
Speaking as a female who's had lots of weirdos and crazies in various parts of the world I find that when ignoring fails, dead eye contact and extremely confident body posture (even when they are inches away from me and in my face), being extremely calm and not moving back an inch works every single time.
This reminds of a night way back in the mid 80's when I was coming home late from the pub on my own. A group of 3 people came up to me and surrounded me. One of them came right up close and stared me in the face. If I had been sober I would have most likely panicked, being a naturally introverted shy person, but being somewhat intoxicated had the nerve to stare right back calmly. They walked away looking puzzled. Clearly they were just looking to intimidate me and I didn't play the game.
"Situational awareness will solve/should solve 99% of your problems." I think people need to digest that statement and concentrate on learning how to be aware of their environment. Thank you, guys
I'm a female who travels alone. In February I went to Cape Town, South Africa. SA has the highest rape rate in the world and a high crime rate in general. Yet I know that I am at low risk for this as I stick to the tourist areas which are usually well policed. Then I keep my head up and walk with confidence as if I know exactly where I'm going even though I'm taking a look at my phone once in a while as I follow Google maps. I watch for anyone watching me or any people or situation that makes me uncomfortable. What's weird is that if something happens, such as a woman getting her purse snatched, many people go running toward where the melee is happening.
Being aware. Not letting your ego lead you into danger. Avoiding and de-escalating. But failing that, being prepared for conflict and not looking or acting like a victim. Final option, strike first, strike hard and fast, then leave as soon as you can.
The thing with “punks and thugs,” is that they have nothing to lose, you/me/we have everything to lose. Excellent point on deflecting and defusing as much as possible.
Very true but if you have everything to lose then you fight with a passion because you do have stuff to lose, not particularly talking about material positions.
I grew up around “ thugs / punks” so I had to be tough. yeah ur best bet is to definitely stay out of Dodge . why ? because lots of them can scrap too. and the ones who can’t which is more than the ones who can often got weapons and numbers . they grew up fighting or slinging dope which will involve fighting or being in bad positions. like if I see two people arguing or doing something illegal I don’t bother them and best to keep quiet. now if I saw someone weaker getting beat down I would step in but I’d sneak up behind them instead of “ hey hey! “ then they got time to react. especially if there’s more than one which there’s a good chance there would be. I got more to loose now than I have had in a long time and I live in a nicer area.
@@crazymacedonianboi yeah it is best to avoid them if you can but understand that sometimes it isnt available to do so but it should always be the last option period. To many people have lost sight of treat others how you want to be treated that it is best now as it ever has been to know how to really handle yourselves. I know what would solve that though, an armed society is a polite society.
I think the huge difference for street fighting and professional is, in a street fight something happened to the point you and another human being are throwing blows. Professional it’s a job, there’s rules and regulations there’s a certain respect between the two. In a street fight USUALLY it’s all emotion. You are a threat. Some men won’t admit it but i at least always get those butterflies before something happens unless it’s one of the few times it was pure emotion. An example would be I take care of my niece; short story my sister is an unfit mother, niece would be taken away: I stepped in for custody. She forgot to sign off Facebook and some 29 year old guy was messaging her to sneak out and sleep over etc. I have never been so upset in my life, I wanted this man to suffer. I wanted blood: so I pretended to be her and turned out he lived about 20 minute ride from me. I’m cutting a lot out of this to spare you all this already long story but I see him on his step’s smoking a cigarette. I think about the messages…. I think about my niece, I start walking up to him, I literally started crying from my anger. I hit him, I hit him and hit him, my arm felt like jello after about half a minute. I remember after my teeth hurt so bad from biting down so hard. I stomped him, I wanted him to die. I’ve never wanted a human being to actually die before. And after someone kinda came up and got between us. It was like reality hit me and I realized what I’ve done…. It wasn’t regret but it was fear cuz I knew now there would be consequences. Anyway I went to prison for 3 years but did 2 and a half with good time off. I kicked him on the floor in the face and they charged me with mayhem (I never even knew that was a charge) down from assault with intent to kill if I pleaded out. I guess because he has some kinda disfigurement on his nose etc the mayhem charge stuck. The messed up part is they had told me IF he had met my niece and something happened he could have been charged but since nothing actually happened he was treated as a victim. I think the judge took this into consideration for my sentencing though cuz my lawyer said mayhem can be a lot of time. I’m not saying this story cuz I think I’m cool, cuz what I did. I don’t regret it but I’m saying this because the fight with him was about 5-6 minutes. It took 6 minutes for my life to completely change and to lose my niece, the thing I wanted to prevent. Just don’t let your emotions get the best of you if you can. Thanks for listening
in a just world, he would've gotten charged instead of you. But since we don't, you're right. We need to make sure we're fully aware of what our actions can do and how they can effect our future.
Best be careful though, I've had attempted mugging, fights etc., but a friend of mine also had an attempted mugging, hit the guy, killed him, he told me he was mortified and if not for witnesses, would most likely have gone down for murder.
Before starting to teach the concealed carry class of 3 dozen my instructor asked, "Why do you want to carry concealed?" One guy behind me told hm, "Because I'm too old to run."
Well said lol, I would of bought that guy a beer. It is the ultimate equalizer, if your one man armed, even 4 guys with guns would think twice before engaging you because it is almost certain that if your trained at least one or two of them are going down into a body bag. Best situation of this was on TV during the riots when about 100 people was outside a house on a private estate after destroying a town centre, and the only reason they did not even approach the house to do god knows what was because a guy was standing outside his door with an AR15 and cameras waiting for them to step on his property. If they rushed him there is no doubt they could of taken him down as there was so many of them but you can be dam sure a large number of them would of died in the process, in the end the large group just taunted him and eventually left, knowing the only way to go onto this property was to engage in a gunfight with the person legally able to kill you on live TV. This footage alone is enough to prove the right to be armed because the police done absolutely nothing to protect the property owners. One guy with an AR15 protected his home and family on his own from over a hundred criminals, best footage for gun ownership ever. A gun is the ultimate equalizer especially for women, a 5ft woman trained with a handgun can take down any man by putting a few bullets in him.
This can and will be a tremendous help for others to explore their feelings in a new perspective. I was lucky enough to get back at the blackmailer, I found a small helper I liked talking about this man and my feeling of confusion being put into words helped me become confident, of course they have skills to solve but this is truly validating. Thanks dude
Situational awareness is point on. Growing up during 90s chaos and mafia era in Eastern Europe I've learned it without thinking about it. Always scanning what's going on hundreds of meters around, recognizing drunk people or people acting strange. It became second nature. And very important thing - to trust your gut feeling, to trust your first impression. If you feel that something is out of order with the person it's better to avoid.
I feel like this is where we could totally change as a people for the better. When we're growing up, we're taught about how America resisted the British and fought to the death for independence (or at least I hope they still teach that). From a young age, we get exposed to firearms in some fashion, through video games, TV shows, movies, etc. In all of those mediums, they don't convey the sense of consequence that comes with actually owning a firearm. You don't get rewind buttons or checkpoints in real life. So, what we should do is instead of demonizing guns for existing, double down on educating the masses about guns. They've been around for hundreds of years and they aren't going away. Ever. It's just a fact. So why not teach people about them? Maybe in high school, have an elective class kids can take where they learn about firearms. Make weapon safety courses mandatory for first time gun buyers. Even if we have to do some zoomer bullshit like adding "rated R for gun violence" or "disclaimer: guns are dangerous if you do dumb shit", idk. My point is, educate rather than demonize.
Christopher Imperiale I don’t think firearm training will ever make its way into public schools but training for gun owners should be mandatory. Not only use and safety but some sort of rules of engagement and notices about the consequences you’d be facing in certain conditions depending on your state in particular. We could go on for days about firearm safety and history but it’ll fall mostly on deaf ears.
@@anusmcgee4150 I agree with everything you said, but my interpretation was that he's speaking to the legal and financial repercussions of shooting someone - even in self defense.
Burma Jones also having to live with it... not a small part of shooting someone even when it’s justified. Emotional things are not as cut and dry and they always should be.
I'm far from being an expert on dealing with this type of interaction but Jocko is spot on. I'm 5'9" but very physically fit and have trained as a boxer, wrestler, karate and a little bit of jujitsu. Just being trained in one or two disciplines, even at a intermediate level, shows in your appearance and will influence how people size you up. You just carry yourself differently and behave more confidently when you know how to fight. People pick up on this so even if you have very minimal interaction with them. You're not showing any fear and giving off a relaxed vibe while at the same time you look like you can handle yourself in a fight. People looking for someone to bully or to intimidate will usually look to someone else as their next victim. Beyond that if you want to avoid any confrontations don't say anything inflammatory or try to verbally joust with the person. There's been times when I've said things and the bully would try to slight or make fun of whatever I said and I usually just try to go along and make a joke out of it. But the main points are to show that you're not going to be any type of a victim, to avoid the conflict initially if you can and if not, exit the situation as soon as possible because the longer you expose yourself to an individual like this you will exponentially increase the chance of some kind of physical altercation.
The biggest thing is not letting your ego make decisions for you. 99% of confrontations can be avoided by simply walking away. Most people can’t do that though. If you absolutely have to defend yourself great, but don’t let your ego walk you into a bad spot that could have easily been avoided.
@@tilikumtim5562 they all have their phone in their face. You would not believe how many people end up dead or in the ER because they can't even see what's happening 6 feet in front of them.
I like the really honest chat they have toward the end about "Don't do what Mike did". Jocko's very experienced but he's also humble enough to admit what's wise and what's not.
This advice just saved me a really bad situation, I was just walking home and someone was screaming throwing his skateboard and walked across the street towards me and I stopped when he came close to me and he said keep going and while I was walking in front of him he was screaming the worst shit and every cus word towards me trying to fight and I honestly feel ashamed that I let my adrenaline take over and I think by not responding to him at all it showed weakness...... and I think I messed up by letting him walk behind me but I also think he would've tried to fight me if I stayed there and tried to let him pass, and I could've all together avoided him by taking a different path through some apartment's but my ego said not to do that because I thought it showed fear on my part but I didn't know either he'd cross the street towards me. It's hard to not beating your self up over avoiding a fight.
There are punks out there who hate self-confidence, and personal success who want to bring any target down to their loser level through threats, intimidation, or violence; then play the victim when someone stands up to them.
Kind of sounds like a large minority of humanity. Typically young, aimless males imho get into this sort of destructive thinking. In a way they usually are victims of something. Then the victim becomes the predator.
Not just punks, even the regular people. It might be even your uncle who visits you and your father every few weeks. As long as you are down, they are good with you. The moment you succeed, you'll become their enemy number 1 in no time. Even you dressing good will itch their eyes. Some things you can do is - Avoid your harm, be it by avoiding fights etc. Get successful. It won't matter what the "society" says, when you become successful. I mean, there might be 10 people cursing you behind your back, but is it affecting your life ? Surround yourself with people you like. Eliminate snakes around you. What's the point of having a person you know will betray you or simply doesn't want you to be happy ?
It's all tribal, you're not one of them. That's enough to get you hurt in some of these neighborhoods. Be self-confident, but definitely not obnoxious or disrespectful to anybody. Acknowledge them and go about your business.
True,had something similar happen to me at work today,2 arseholes (father and son), both with an attitude problem thought that they could try and intimidate me,because I stood my ground ,they didn't like it,someone not taking there shit,and threatened to call the police even though they were the pricks to begin with.
I'd run as fast as my legs can make me, Jocko alone is intimidating af in his own presence, but jocko armed with a real weapon? Now that's something i don't wish to confront in any way possible.
I'm 67 years old. My wife and I and our chihuahua where out camping. Around 3:00am I start coming out of a deep sleep. I can hear my dog barking his head off and my wife saying "Who are you? What do you want?" This guy had broken into our camper and was standing over me. He says in a course gravely voice "Never mind. Go back to sleep." I didn't say a word. I quickly sat up and began bashing his head against the camper wall using palm strikes to his jaw. My wife said it was about 10 x. I got up and put him into a guillotine choke and marched him to the camper door. He was struggling so I gave him a bunch of knees and a few hammer fists to the top of his head. I was trying to smell and see if he was drunk but I couldn't smell alcohol so this meant likely drugs, maybe meth??? I don't know. I got him to the door and opened it. There is about a 3 foot drop from the door to the ground. I dropped my arm from the choke and used both hand to give him a huge push out the door. He literally flew about 6 feet and landed on his head. I told him to f off and I closed the door. In the morning he came back around 7 am with a buddy. His buddy took a look at me and said to his friend. "We better leave." I was really pissed off by then. People say "Why didn't you phone the cops after the break in?" My response was that I live in Canada. Criminals generally have more rights than civilians here. I knew that if I had seriously injured him then I would be charged and going to court. So I let it play out. By the way I'm 6'2", 210lbs and a Black Belt Instructor. When I was younger - 15 - 50 I fought nearly every weekend. The average person has no idea what happens in a street fight. Giving people anecdotal advice is just that. Every scenario is unique. I've won and lost. Generally in every fight I've lost something. Sometimes a broken nose, sometimes a dislocated shoulder and on a couple of occasions I've been stabbed. So being a tough guy ain't all it's cracked up to be. The first rule of self defense is "Don't put yourself in harms way." but if it comes then act and act fast and act repetitively. Do not be a victim.
In a scenario of people being disrespectful in a social setting where its a bunch of people you know, if it gets to the point where irs beyond joking & they're actually being outright disrespectful, you just let them know you won't be disrespected & they either apologise or they're done talking to you. Let people know you have a limit. Only physically fight if there's no other way out
Jokes aside, 5 people jumping a boxing champ at the same time is enough to take him down. He might knock 2, maybe 3 of them, but 2 will deal constant unanswered damage and well.. a numbers game. But at that level, as the guy said, someone who can kill, will try no to, unless he can't run anymore I guess.
Just being in shape and being bigger than everyone is a massive advantage to avoiding confrontation. I’m not a violent person and I’m polite to everyone, but people, even violent people, are respectful for the most part. I have avoided so many fights just by not appearing as an easy target. Situational awareness is also key if someone wants to sucker punch the “big guy”.
@@ishansingh1668I think the main thing is to train harder and become the best version of yourself. I have an average height but I train my ass off. A few days ago there was this dude who threataned me to kidnap me.The thing is that he was making plans from a month just to beat my ass and I was just enjoying my life. The thing is that he wouldn't do it man to man or you can say 1v1. So, he called his brother and his friends on me. I told him straight to his face that I don't want any fights but if he wanted to really prove his fragile ego then I am all ready for 1v1. The gist of it is that train hard as you can and avoid getting into these situations because cowards have no morals at all. I hope this helps!
That said who wants to spend their life training hard for "hopefully" a rare experience of hand to hand combat. I had a lot of fights when I was a kid cos I was skinny but tall and people didn't see me as competition. If couldn't walk away or control my temper then they happened and I was fast so I won them all thankfully. Now I'm middle aged and 210lb and I never get attacked so I never fight. Hopefully it stays that way but I do do my best to keep away from areas that might lead to trouble. My experience leads me to the conclusion; always run if you can. Bullies are often cowards and yeah it feels great to see that look of fear and recognition in their eyes, that they've made a terrible mistake, but, some are psychotic and if you aren't prepared to fight for you life, just run.
Tom Bland or maybe he does, because the human capacity for stupidity is directly proportional to the obvious pitfalls that can be seen as amusing and manly. If you mention you know taekwon do in a ballpark it’s almost guaranteed some drunk a row back will try to test his idiot black belt against yours.
you'd be surprised. Its the 6'5" 260lbs meathead who grew up violent who at least knows no ones impressed by his beating the ass of someone half his size sees a guy who is big and has a rep. for fighting and has a few beers in him gets real bold.
I knew a guy years ago, nice enough fella in his way, but a recreational soccer hooligan. I was told he used to go down to the main area of town after the clubs shut, get his kebab, and then pick a fight with the biggest fella he could find. For the hell of it.
"Keep this thought handy when you feel a fit of rage coming on -- it isn't manly to be enraged. Rather, gentleness and civility are more human, and therefore manlier. A real man doesn't give way to anger and discontent, and such a person has strength, courage, and endurance -- unlike the angry and complaining. The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength." - Marcus Aurelius
@@devilsoffspring5519 Or perhaps he realized that it is easier to start swinging than it is to withdraw from an unnecessary fight. There is a reason adults teach their children that punching someone every time they are angry is wrong. Of course, you are the devil's offspring...
@@ZedF86 No, it's not easier to start swinging. Especially not when you're a little kid and most of the world's population is a hell of a lot bigger than you. Walking away from fights only works if your attacker is content to let you do that. Staying and fighting only works if your attacker can't fight as well as you.
I’ve only encountered situations like this when a group of 3+ individuals started running their mouths at me and trying to provoke me. As far as I’m concerned, anyone who has to pick a fight with 1 person while 2 or 3 of their friends are there to back them up is a coward. And cowards are dangerous because they have no respect for themselves or anyone else. I do agree that it is best to be prepared for all types of situations like Jocko described, because there are cowards everywhere and they have no problem sucker punching someone or fighting dirty. Again, no self respect.
a month ago I was taking a bus from a sketchy terminal in South America. A pro theif snatched my phone away, and I put him in a rear naked choke, thinking I'd put him to sleep, get my phone back, and get out of there. Turns out he was not alone, and his 4 hombres were on me immediatly with metal bars and knives. They knocked me out, took everything I had, and left me bleeding out on the street with 5 deep cuts on my head. Thank God I made it out alive. Obviously I should have just run away, but in the moment my fighting instinct took over. Best case scenario, I would have run, lost my phone, and felt like a b*tch. Worst case, I could have died. How it turned out I guess was somewhere in the middle. In any case, I learned alot, came out with some badass facial scars and a good story. Life is good, God is good, be careful out there.
Of course you can. It may not be with a gun, but you can utilise what is around you. You can use dirt (fling it into the opponent's eyes), a rock, a stick/plank/branch etc. I've been taught how to use a marble as a weapon. Then again, I grew up during the Troubles in Northern Ireland, and had to utilise whatever I had at hand, which the relatives I had in the security forces taught me, using various techniques and when to use those techniques. I've used old-style roller skates to break legs, or using a fence to get myself into a position where I can take down a bully (I put my legs between his and did a crocodile roll, which made him smack his face off the ground). It's not about what you don't have to hand, it's about what you DO have to hand. This is why we need to be aware of our surroundings, because you never know what you might need to use to bring down an aggressive assailant.
Tell that to the Chinese farmers who invented most of the martial arts under the heading "Kung Fu". No weapons? Use farming tools. Monks were left alone and considered "harmless" but they were secretly training to have mastery over their bodies. Yeah... sorry you live in an unarmed state. A good decking or framing hammer can be a fantastic weapon tho.
@@Scott64a "A good decking or framing hammer can be a fantastic weapon" True, but in the UK you could be arrested for having one without a good reason (I kid you not).
Actually self defence in Ireland is a valid reason to own a firearm and centre fire handguns are allowed. (Concealed carry is sometimes allowed in circumstances where you are at actual risk) I wouldn’t bet on concealed carry though. I’m presuming you’re talking about NI though. Edit: Of course you need to apply for an FAC
I was a fighter early in life and I found posturing is very useful in avoiding actual fights. Once you really know how to hurt someone, you become less likely to do so.
@eggbenedict-gt7mw you were smart one for running away and staying alive. Him n his friends chasing you together is a like a bunch of hyenas gathering around a lion. It's not cowardice it's survival my friend 😊
Mr.H you will always learn the hard way. Widom is learning from others mistakes. You will always learn from your own like I did as kid... I know you’re trying to be funny and it was kind of funny but you should really understand that mindset.
Is this sarcastic? Who do you think is trying to fight jocko? At 10 jocko was a huge jock what are you talking about? If you wanna get out of a fight look a little too happy to have been picked to be in it, talk to them with your full intent in mind ie.” I’m going to play bitch long enough to stab X in the eye then front side of his elbow with my pencil as he raises his arm to defend his face, where i will break my pencil off in him, if i miss his arm I’ll continue to the thigh where i will deposit it as i move to vingativa, work done i will leave taking the body with me for fun Weekend at Bernie’s hijinks and sexual modification.” When possible remove your pants as quickly as possible With these 2 moves NO ONE will want to continue dealing with you. And if they do, you’ve already got a plan.
jerk fudgewater a completely heterosexual friend of mine once yelled at a group of drunk dudes looking for a fight that he’d jerk them off with both hands. Needless to say they went the opposite direction.
I once had to tell a guy trying to push me into a fight. That I’m not looking for trouble but you’re pushing me into a corner and when I come out it we be all over you. The look on his face was one of belief
"Tread lightly and carry a big stick" and also like you said about situational awareness/planning stay out of bad places, away from bad people, at bad times. My police officer brother always says nothing good happens after 11pm. Go home early. Never in my life have I run into aggressive drunk people while the sun is shining. Thanks for the great video
“Don’t look at them, don’t make eye contact, stay out of the situation” YES! This is so important and it frustrates me how some of my friends don’t realize this. I remember how one time I was sitting on a late-night train with my friend next to me and a bunch of low-life trash entered the cabin. My friend immediately made eye contact, KEPT LOOKING AT THEM and said to me “hey, would you look at those losers”. I later told him he was just asking for trouble and he totally didn’t understand my point
With all due respect, your friend sounds like an asshole. Most people have better things to think about than strangers on a train. But good for you for being the voice of reason.
When you look at someone hard, not only it consided rude, it could cost you your life. You can google all the stories of those who are Dead, because of a Staredown.
I had a friend who did something similar at our highschool grad bonfire, out in the woods. Some half drunk dude was talking dumb with my friends' g/f, and my friend says to me REAL quiet, "This guy's askin' for a punch", and somehow the drunk guy hears him to both of our surprise. So I step in between and defuse it, but after my friend takes off home like 2 hours later I'm getting asked where he is because the drunk dude STILL wants to fight. People just can't let go of a grudge.
Notice how many of these scenarios take place in bars and are initiated by drunk people. One of the best pieces of self-defense advice I ever heard: stay away from bars. Avoiding random drunk people is statistically better than years of martial arts training, and is much simpler.
Agreed. Another under-rated aspect of issue-avoidance is simply looking the part - a quietly confident person who is in shape and looks competent probably has fewer interactions with troublesome people simply because there are likely people on either side of you who look more vulnerable. Predator species have had millions of years to develop effective visual cues regarding which prey animals look easy to eat and which look difficult. If you look like the latter you are going to be miles ahead, right out of the gate.
Jocko you seem so sure of yourself and confident I respect that. Your knowledge and clear detailed explanations are inspiring. Thank you for you taking your time to make these videos.
Bro carry wasp spray you know u have it on u they don't ,don't utilize it unless absolutely Vitale to your saftey and last but least way more accurate and adjustable then gun or pepper spray and no they get their sight back but but they dont no it and even a suicidal manic cries when he feels he is permanently blinded.in the valley of the blind the one eyed man is king
My advice to prevent someone starting on you is to make no eye contact with anybody on the street and look like you are pissed off. To look pissed of you walk fast with determination and ignore your surroundings. Muggers and bullies look for defenceless people, they will bypass someone having a bad day and pick an easier target.
The advice from a normal..actually a smaller than normal...male person. 1) get in shape and learn some form of self defense that has real world applications (I.e. not tae kwon do ) 2) control your emotions and never show fear/anger/embarrassment...laugh and say whatever while subtly posturing yourself into a fight ready stance 3) walk away again acting like you feel no threat and if anything are mildly amused...never dropping your fight ready stance/awareness 4) if you can’t walk away take a fighting stance without worrying about being subtle, make eye contact and don’t break it. 5) don’t talk shit let them talk all the shit they want...as long as they don’t enter your “bubble” don’t do anything 6) if they enter your “bubble” strike faster than lightning with the goal of fucking them up as quickly and definitely as possible. Do not let up until they are no longer a threat. If they are still moving and striking grabbing whatever under their own power, they are a threat. If they are curled up in a fetal position, knocked out or asleep...they are not a threat. If you had no means of escape, they were being threatening and they entered your physical space...then what you have just done to them is called self defense. Do not talk to the cops...simply say that you think it would be best if you talked to a lawyer first... Remember this, most people don’t really want to fight, unless they are positive they can easily win. By acting calm, confident and maintaining a fight ready posture...most people will just run their mouth and so long as you let them do this, they will leave eventually without doing anything...most likely saying something like “you aren’t worth my time” or something stupid. It’s ok to laugh a bit at first and be dismissive of them, but once they lose their temper don’t bait them or escalate the situation. Who cares if a bunch of idiots think them talking a bunch of shit without ever doing anything to intimidate you is the same thing as “kicking your ass”. The fact is this, they didn’t kick your ass and they didn’t intimidate you. They know this. If you have a bully on your hands, you might have to challenge them eventually by saying “all you do is talk, how bout this...you and me go fight in the gym all nice and legal so no one gets in trouble...unless you are scared” but be ready to fight at any minute once you do this. Again if a fight happens your goal is neutralize the threat as soon as possible by whatever means possible...not “kick their ass”
And don’t be afraid to get yourself a gun, a concealed carry permit, training to use it safely and efficiently....if you have a family to defend and live in an area with potential threats to their safety. Often people in groups will do things...like confronting a man with his family in tow just to look tough...that they wouldn’t do if they were alone. So if you live in a neighborhood with groups big young guys that hang out on the corner and get rowdy...there isn’t anything wrong with feeling the need to arm yourself. Just remember that shooting someone is a last resort and if you do this you have to show that you had no other option except self defense. As long as you have reasonable cause to fear for yourself or your families safety...and have no way to escape the situation, self defense is legal in most states...I’m not a lawyer and this isn’t legal advice so check your states laws. I just know that if you shoot someone don’t make any statements to the police before consulting a lawyer....and make sure you do everything in your power to avoid/escape the situation before using your weapon. Cross the street a couple blocks up, take a different route...begin moving towards a path of escape immediately etc...just cause you have a weapon doesn’t mean you now have the right to walk down whatever street you want and blow off anybody who threatens you cause you can just shooot em if you need to. That’s not how this shit works. You should always do everything in your power to avoid dangerous threatening situations. Shooting someone is a last resort that you should only use when you have no other choice. I guarantee you if you are asked why you decided to walk down that block with a bunch of gang bangers on it with your wife and kids...cutting right through a group of them and then end up shooting one of them...it’s not gonna look good...it’s gonna look like you were the one creating the situation. Again owning a gun doesn’t mean you get to “take the streets back from the criminals and go where you want without fear” that’s not self defense that’s called being an idiot who’s looking for trouble!
Such an important lesson right here everyone should learn, i had to learn this first hand living in NYC, makes me think about the recent tragic Leandro Lo incident and how maybe it could have been avoided.
I never regret the next day, having walked away. I 100% regret the next day, having engaged. Descalating is a real skill and a real power and I couldn't agree with the sentiment of this podcast more.
Hearing this from you made me feel good man. I am mostly always not engaging and non-reactive. When people/co-workers tried to poke me in the past, majority of the time I left them talking by themselves, while I reflected on their behavior and of what I would do/say. Sometimes, even placing a boundary will make us be engaged in their world... That is why being aware of what is going on and what type of people are in front of us is important to make good decisions.
@@Alexlamb442 while deescalation is a skill and the safest route, you also need to maintain boundaries for your own safety. A stranger touching your lady should be far and away grounds for returning aggression.
@@charlesthomashanley why not? 50% of the population will, on average, get fucked up by the other 50% (women and men, respectively). I’m 5’7” and I have previously broken my back. To this day, my doc won’t clear me to lift more than 50lbs and my accident was 17 years ago. Meanwhile, I’ve got a wife and child that depend on me to come home every night. The biggest myth out there is that fights have to be fair. No, no they don’t. Like Jocko said, aim to avoid and deescalate. But if you do have to fight, then win by any means necessary. And a gun, friend, is the only thing that sets me on even footing with a guy like Jocko.
This was all very consistent with self defense training I’ve taken. There’s is a lot here about keeping yourself out of bad situations that seems like half the battle.
I’ve lived in some rough places, met Lots of rough people. Never been in any sort of fight whatsoever, not even a verbal one. Just have self respect and vicariously you will respect other people. If people talk to you, just be honest, ask them questions about themselves. Like Jocko said, most people like that are insecure. So if you just make them feel good, they like you. It’s like dealing with an animal.
I was lucky enough to grow up in a pretty middle-class neighborhood in the suburbs, but I learned that in school. I was pretty Mormon at the time, so kids who wanted to get a rise out of me would say things like "yo f*ck Jesus" and I'd just let it roll off me, just say something like "yeah man whatever works for you" and I became chill with a lot of these people. Of course, I wasn't yet mature enough to do it consciously, I was just avoiding conflict because I was a meek, scrawny Mormon kid. Hell I met my best friend in high school this way. I disagreed with his morals, but I was willing to be friendly and respectful so eventually he returned the favor. Really a lot of these people are just grown up bullies who never kicked the addiction to pissing people off, so it's no surprise the same tactics work. Treat people like people, but don't let them walk all over you.
Oh wow on the part about asking them questions about themselves and make them feel good because they’re insecure 🤯 you are soo smart And the part about self respect. I have had some people mistreat me at work, but i 100% know it was because i didn’t have self respect like you said. So when my supervisor asked if she should intervene at some point, i told her no, it’s up to me to handle myself. Eventually my self respect grew and i don’t get mistreated anymore. Then again i work from home mostly LOL but things actually really have improved.
Thank you Jocko. I can tell your not arrogant or cocky. But have the right to be. Thanks for your encouragement and real world information. Thank you for your service! ❤️
I deliver pizza in El paso. Literally to the Juarez border. Situational awareness has saved me many times. Always be aware of your surroundings and use your gut feelings.
great advice. as a trained fighter i agree with everything jocko says. the come down to my gym call is one of the best. it never happens. much love jocko. osssssss
Confidence is key, this comes with being prepared and knowing the work, “training” you put in will stand up to any “test” by bullies. Really comes down to situational awareness and being ready!
Nobody likes crazy. Act crazy. Have a crazy argument with imaginary foe. Growl... lunge at nothing...claw at the air....shake uncontrollably.... This usually works for me when family asks me for money.
"Detach" I did the exact same thing on a bus.. Good advice. Great advice! But the better advice would be to never have gotten on the bus to begin with. Should have had a friend or Uber meet me at the Car repair drop off...
This is all 1000% accurate advice. I'm Asian and I grew up in the projects in the Bronx. Trouble was pretty much unavoidable for me. Best thing to do is to not think running away is "beneath" you. I got jumped at least once a week when I was a teenager. Always be aware. Exactly what Jock said. See a group coming your way? Cross the street. Two guys eyeing you? Walk faster. There was 1 time, I crossed the street and the group crossed too.. and I crossed back and they followed. So I started fucking RUNNING. Ran until I got to a bodega I knew the owner and went inside. They came in but I knew the bodega owner was packing.. told these dudes to leave. Man I had so many of these situations growing up. I've been robbed at gunpoint, been stabbed, gotten the shit kicked out of me, cuz I was Asian. The eye contact thing is 100% true. Never ever ever make eye contact. I accidentally did a couple times and just regretted and thought "here we go...". And it 100% escalates every time. This stuff happened a lot less after I moved out of the hood. I can still spot trouble though and try to remove me and others out of it. One time I was in Vegas with a bunch of friends from college. They're not very street smart. Decided to get liquor and they wanted to go to this place off the strip. We pull up and this place was obviously not the spot man.... U got junkys, dealers, gang bangers in the parking lot. U can tell if you roll up with 3 white dudes and an Asian kid... we were gonna get jumped. Told them to NOT stop and we gotta go. These idiots said I was being racist. Told them I was gonna stay in the car. Guess what, 20 seconds after they got out of the car, they got robbed. I drove over there fast and picked them up and got out of there. Some idiots just gotta learn the lesson on their own. What he said about getting active is true too. I'm not sure if it's because I'm bigger now or if it's something else... but I don't really get hassled as much anymore. I started wrestling in HS and college and I bulked up. I'm 6'1", 235 now and very very very rarely do people even try.
Good on you for not letting dumbass's drag you into a situation that was more than unsavory, most people would just follow and clench their teeth waiting for shit to go down.
This must have left you traumatized. Did this affect your mental health or did you just learn to deal with it and it made u thougher?? I got robbed once and I was scared for a year or two afterwards. Only started jiu jitsu 4 years later tho
but i thought all you chinese guys knew kung fu..... (j/k) Good to have street smarts and good that you are now a big guy who has some wrestling background. :-)
