I completely agree with #2. When we say "natural hair" is more accepted, what's really more accepted is hair with a loose curl. Even though there are stylists that can do more with 4c hair now other than a press & curl, sometimes we get charged more. "4c hair" still gets no love, even within a movement that's supposed to include us.
😞 it’s a shame b/c didn’t women with tighter textures start the movement? Afrikan Hair God is one of the only natural hairstylists I see online that shows all hair types love. Then again, there are probably more. The issue is that 4c hair content doesn’t get pushed out to the masses like other hair types do. As powerful as the Black community is in the hair space, I’m surprised we haven’t pushed and elevated 4c hair more….then again…I’m not surprised. Our history is very complicated…
Well since we’re being honest….😅 The celebration of 4C hair is definitely performative for majority of people on all sides. It is celebrated because it’s the cash cow of the natural hair community. It sales. Everybody knows it, to the point some will pretend to have 4c to get views and/or sale their brands. Professionals are targeting type 4 people but 4c particularly. Look at the latest trend; Now everybody and their mammas are curl specialists. And in the end they do all that to tame our hair and make it look a certain way not for us to truly accept and embrace it. Same old same old.
So many good points! Especially when is comes to which texture is most profitable for businesses. To your last point: I’m personally exhausted. I think I’m realizing that just about everything can be scrutinized and picked apart in todays world. If you choose to style your hair or not it’s a problem for someone. Back in the day people used to say the only way to achieve full acceptance of your natural hair is to do free-form locs or only use “juices and berries” 😂. I don’t have the answer, Sway! Thanks for sharing your insight! ❤️
It's not popular to say it, but #2 is the truth. You nailed it at the end of that segment--a picture is worth a1000 words, and very few (or none) of the images of beautiful natural hair are images of 4c hair. It's so obvious where it falls in the hair ranking. So whenever anyone says how much they love hair like mine, I assume they're saying what they think they should say to show how inclusive they are. I give them all the grace and I give them "points for trying" (E for effort), but I don't really believe them. It doesn't matter though, cuz I know I love my tight coils so I can smile and keep it moving! :-)
🎯 but what really matters is the last thing you said. As long as we love, it doesn’t matter. I’m happy so many of us have gotten to a place where we don’t let others dictate the love we have for our hair. I personally could care less!
@@LaToyaEbonyHairthanks for this..when I was growing up I hated myself bcus I was the only dark skinned thick one with a kinky curly hair type. There was so much colorism texturism crap spreading from leftover brainwashing during enslavement. It was passed on faster that racism itself. I felt so ugly. But as I got older and learned to embrace being different it didn't hurt anymore. My hair texture has changed now that I'm older I no longer straighten it and while I always had long dense hair I never knew it was curly bcus no one knew how to manage my hair. It's no longer as thick or course it's curly and fine but still dense. I had to love all of me bcus if I didn't who would and hating myself wasn't gonna change one darn thing. I love you and your channel your personality definitely brightens up the journey. Thx again ❤
You know, I had relaxed my hair for over 40 years. I also never shampooed my own hair. Going natural made me learn “who I am”….and love who I am. When people would compliment me after my Big Chop….I thought they were being “PC”…trying to show how accepting they could be….I thought that because I didn’t love my hair, myself. I was putting up with it…trying to find my way thru the maze of products, techniques and tools. It has taken me over a year to realize that I truly am Rocking my Wash-n-go!! The compliments are welcome….and now, I’m learning how to just smile and say, “Thank You!”
You hit on so many great points. Learning to do my own hair has been a much better experience. I had a "silk press" stylist once tell me I should be lucky she was doing my hair because no one else would do it. Never gave her my money again. That's literally the easiest style. Not only did I learn to do that, but I also learned to braid. Not only am I paying for a service, but I want to relax. More often than not I was paying for a bad quality service and a bad hair style. Also the myth that not washing our hair grows it is an excuse to be lazy, and I get it, but its important to not perpetuate that myth. When I don't wash my hair its so dry, brittle and my scalp hurts. And I also don't retain length, because I assume its just breaking off. Lastly the performative support. Ugh. I wish people would not say anything if they don't mean it. I don't need pats on the head. Pretending to compliment my hair is cringe.
For me, people with similar hair say they love my hair. That makes you feel good because you can admire each other! Hopefully those people who like the "hair on you" will realize their compliment isn't very complimentary.
This is so true, I met my nephew’s fiancé for the 1st time and she has the same type hair. Once she complimented me on my hair we started talking and bam 💥 instant connection! 😊
I’ve realized due to my 4c hair many past stylist took one look at my hair and made assumptions. But once they began to work through it wash etc they would say how manageable it was. Discrediting my hair even before touching it. I prefer to do my own hair and I’m glad that I know how to do a lot of my own crochet styles.
HEAVY on #4! the amount of natural hair youtubers that demonize shampooing is actually crazy. hair itches! it's ok to wash it every week lol. my hard truth would be "it's okay to touch your hair!" there's so much pressure in the natural community to get your twistout to "last 7 days" without retouching it, or once you do your hair, you're supposed to "leave it alone" to "protect it." hair gets frizzy! hair gets dry! or sometimes, you just want a different hairstyle. it's okay to touch up your hair over the week. i feel a lot more confident in my hair now that i give myself leeway to freshen it up with a curling spray or oils, or try to style my twistout different ways
I love your hard truth!! Each week is different for me. Some weeks I keep it in twists and a bun other weeks I can’t keep my hands out if my hair. I think now that I’ve got the hang of it, I’m a lot more free. Erase the “rules” and have fun! Thank you for sharing that. ❤️
😂😂the nasal voices killed me on #2. But for real though..and sometimes it feels like 4c has to be oustanding to be appreciated...thick,long etc. Like poor 4c can't afford to be basic😂😂😂😂
Okay……Where do I start?!? Here’s the obvious - This video was incredible! Truthful and courageous. Next: Your #2 gave me pause. I never thought about the ‘quality’ of the compliments I often receive. I receive many compliments on my hair. (Wash-n-go, thick, coily/curly, loads of gray. Length: down the back of my neck.) But, your insights about how the compliments you receive turn on a dime into an editorial on how uncomfortable the person offering the “compliment” would be to actually “have” your hair….made me realize that there is a different type of “compliment” out there….one that I would do well to be aware of. Typically, I get compliments from Women of African descent (who are wearing braids or a TWA), White males and White women (in reverse order). Black men give me a long 2nd look and then stare and stare but they say Nothing. I have actually begun to wonder if people have never seen a long, thick, curly/coily, loads of gray wash-n-go! Recently, I started to pay attention and realize that I almost NEVER see a Wash-n-go!! There are Braids EVERYWHERE and an endless sea of High Puffs….That’s pretty much it. No wash-n-go’s do I see. In fact, I saw a woman with a thick, curly/curly long wash-n-go in the parking lot the other day and we both just stared at each other with our mouths open!!! 🤣😂🤣
LaToya, this isn't related to this specific video, but I just want to give you a big THANK YOU for teaching me the Anthony Dickey method. You have changed my entire life!! By starting with that method and practicing, I've now gotten my wash and go down to less than 20 minutes! I love my natural hair and I always look classy with my poppin' curls. You're a blessing! Thank you and God Bless! ❤
Girl you not wrong on #2. That performance is visible sometimes cringe. I just give people grace on the journey to acceptance in a society that views their features as less desireable, even if it swings to performative at times. But I'm so glad you said that. Haha.
I will always shampoo my hair. Even in the early stages of being natural when everyone was only cowashing, I was still shampooing because it got my hair fresh & clean. I don't have 4C but I get the comments like..." I couldn't wear my hair natural because it isn't like yours." But how would they know if they never attempted? I never knew I had curls..It is a whole mindset change being natural..
I agree with ALL of this. You have helped me on so many moments of caring for my hair. I do feel that in my experience on number 2 people most of the time will say that only because they are afraid to just go natural. There is a fear that comes with even doing the big chop because if you’ve never seen your hair in that state it can be scary because you’ve never seen yourself like that. Not to mention the fact that it was once frown on and you always would hear about how it’s a negative instead of a positive. We are all learning, teaching, experiencing this new “natural journey“ together and that’s ok. I say if you are thinking about it do it. It’s a freeing moment that I still to this day do not regret. Thank you for taking us on your hair journey.
Thank you for this video! So many great points in this video. I agree that the first thing you should do is get used to doing your own hair. I started transitioning in 2010 at 43 years old. Natural hair stylists weren’t as prevalent as they are today, at least not in my area. Stylists would tell you they could do it, and ended up damaging and pulling out more of my hair than I did, while using products that weren’t meant to enhance it’s natural state. I haven’t been to a stylist in over 10 years. All those years of doing it myself definitely makes me better equipped to speak to them about what I need should I decide to go. I also get comments “Your hair looks great, I don’t think I could deal with my natural hair”. When I look back at the time it takes me to do my hair, as opposed to the time I would spend sitting in the salon, I’m still way ahead. And I’m relaxed in my home, sometimes with a glass of wine. I make it a relaxing spa like event. 😊 I’m sharing this with all the 4C women in my family who are now transitioning to natural based on seeing my hair over the years, even with the health issues I’ve faced, thriving.
I didn't finish watching the video, but #2 is 100% true. It feels like when people talk about 4c, it feels like we're a constellation prize, an afterthought.
I think 4C hair is trendy...now everyone with dry hair is like my hair is 4C...I thought my hair was 4C when I started my natural hair journey 3 years ago... but nah, sis it's not. It was just dry and undefined...because I had no clue. It took at least a year to find products that actually work for me. Then you see all your faves reviewing all these products so you try those only to have a closet full of products that you try one time that did not work for you so now 2 years later you're back to what actually worked after year 1😢😂
Haha! The product search is all too familiar. Aren’t you happy that phases is over? 😅 I must admit that I still have a closet full of products, but at this point it’s because of the work I do online. It’s nice to know the products we can always rely on if things go sideways. I feel you. ❤️
Preach! Texturism is still real. At first I got excited because I thought I was starting to see actresses on major TV shows with my hair type. For example, the way Ryan Michele Bathe wore her hair on Endgame. But upon closer inspection I realized she actually has a slightly looser curl pattern (perhaps 4B or 4A) meaning she doesn't have the shrinkage or gravity-defiance that makes 4C hair what it is. Would they still hire her if her hair shrunk up un-shiny and refused to "hang down" like mine? 🤔 I feel hard pressed to name one famous actress with actual identifiable 4C hair. Thus, looser curls (even if only slightly looser) are still the preference. What it comes down to is we 4C girls just have to have a love affair with our own hair for its uniqueness. Because truth-be-told ain't nobody out there wishing they had 4C and most people feel relieved that they don't.
Whew! Good points! For me, I’m happy to see type 4 hair in general. Truth be told once you’re in the 4 category I don’t think people who aren’t into the hair typing system can tell the difference 😂. With performing/acting it’s interesting b/c many actresses don’t have the luxury of wearing their own hair. Putting the lack of experienced hairstylist on set aside, many times what a characters hair looks like is based on archetypes. In films/tv Wealthy or successful Black women tend to have straight hair, enslaved people tend to be natural, Spiritual women tend to locs or braids. It’s slowly becoming more diverse, but many times it takes a very pointed effort. I tend to look at the red carpet events when I want to see how performers really want the world to see them. I love when Viola, Lupita, and Teyonah wear natural hairstyles on the carpet. 🥰
You’re so right. You described micro aggressive behavior and honestly it is projection. Natural hair is just hair. Some take better care than others and it shows. Plain and simple
Thank you, new subscriber here! Lol! All of these are on point, especially #2. No hating at all, but within our hair "category" it's definitely shine over sheen as well as a looser curl over cottony in texture. There's also way too much emphasis placed on "Protective styling" with 4c type hair in my opinion instead of hair care and styles that don't necessarily require a full cover-ups with wigs, weaves, and extensions most of the time, which comes off to me as still tucking it away and still not learning what works within the kinkier/coiler 4 type. I feel it's still this mentality of nonacceptance and I'm not talking about society as much as the self love some people claim to have, but that's tricky and subjective. It doesn't help the narrative either when you slowly start to see more and more of our type of hair being the "Before" picture or video. It's like, "Here we go again!"
Thank you!!! You never lied. Finally!!! Somebody just came right out and said it. If one more person says to me the whole, it looks good on you cause....blah blah blah.
I think if we are honest we are receptive of 4c in some instances not in all. Its a constant work in progress for me. After all our lineage have been living in a eurocentric world, we have grown up in a eurocentric world so its going take some time for alot of us especially for those who have low density, very fine coily hair like myself to reach to that point of complete acceptance. Keep in mind also we are the least represented. I enjoy my natural hair more now than before but styling is forever a challenge and at times disappointing. So answering #2 yes I believe some are performative, however I think some of us have to grapple with low density, coily hair which we know no matter how much product we use or little hair manipulation we still will not get the desired hairstyle that we see.
3type hair was always accepted ,if you watch tv from the 90's or even 80's the only people that could wear their hair on screen ,were girls with type 3 hair, joan from girlfiends always wore her hair natural
Thanks for sharing this message with us. Alot to unpack especially the textures. I recall early in my journey dreading the process for I had too many products. I was considering weaves and wigs because doing my hair felt overwhelming. It's still a struggle for me. I remember a friend not wanting to go "natural: for she thought it was unattractive. I wish we could embrace our natural beauty.
I agree with everything on this video! I have 4c except in the front area it’s something else! Lol 😂 like having to separate heads of hair. But I truly don’t love my hair and I do love watching you and how great you do your hair. Thank you for all the great info you give ❤
Ewww, what in the backhanded compliment is that? I can’t imagine saying I could never have your hair, to anyone, unless I am referring to a high maintenance color or style. Like I love people with bright hair colors, but my hair would fall out at the sight of that much bleach.
At the end of the day, most people want a pleasurable experience at the hair salon. They want to be cared for/pampered, respected, and leave feeling better than when they came in. Some people are willing to pay whatever it takes for a great experience - and that’s okay! The price just has to match the value for BOTH parties.
I want to learn how to make my 4c hair healthy but I haven't really found anything that can help but im hoping this channel and some other ones can help. I should probably talk to my hairstylist about whats good for my hair but right now Im just disappointed
You said wavy, curly, straight but you left out zig zag. Each of my strands isn't even a coil/curl at all. It's a flat krinkle of zig zags. That's why it never has luster or smoothness, even when I flat iron it. Wiry, zig zags that shrink up to about 50%. So yeah, definitely let go of the defined curl pattern idea after I came out of dreadlocks (which did work well for me, but after 23 years, enough). I now just do a blowout with my revair then braid or otherwise style my hair so that it's out of my face and not tangled. That way I don't get breakage, which is very easy to get with all those sharp turns in each strand.
Whew! 😮💨😮💨 I do agree with you. Lucky for me my stylist is also a big sister for me has been great & very careful with her clients. I do want to invest in a filter for sure.
4c Natural hair women should I coin flexi rods, roll, style and go. Stop with the wet and braid outs, they are not going to achieve what you are looking for. For length, add clip ins. Stop with the stressing, time and money wasting on products that will not work.
once a week is way too often to wash my hair, too much wear and tear of detangling and the way it dries out is a no lol other points i do agree with, thanks for the tips.
I feel like 4c hair specifically isn't still widely accepted or just in general curly hair isn't still always due to all the newsarticles of schools still requiring kids to look like their standard (for example I watch McKenna Walker and her son is starting elementary school and was looking at a private christian school and they told her that her sons dreads would have to be cut so he could fit the mold).
It honestly breaks my heart. It’s 2023 and we’re still facing discrimination in schools? It’s hair! What the heck does hair have to do with getting an education? It makes me sick.
It may be difficult to find a hairstylist, but do try. It was my hairstylist who noticed my hair loss. Yes, she has worked with my hair for more than 15 years, but they help with my hair care. We do not try to doctor ourselves or pull our own teeth. Professionals are important as part of our overall care from head to toe. That does not mean we should not know how to manage and care for our own hair.
Yes you nail it . And it’s the truth. I have a question . Clarification of the hair with clays do you shampoo frist or clay your hair then shampoo? Thank you
Number one is very crucial watch a thousand RU-vid videos if you have to practice makes perfect and you can switch up ur hair as much as you like and treat it how it suits you best
*If I listened to half of what people say about me and even my hair, I wouldn't have been able to do anything meaningful with myself* *I don't listen to naysayers*
What are you doing for skin? Your skin is looking so flawless now. I mean, it’s always been but even more so, now. Just turned 39 yesterday and my skin is not bad but it’s not good. Help!
Thanks for this info! :-) I need help with my 4C GRAY hair...desperately! Gray hair is sooo difficult/stubborn...edges won't lay down even with the best gel...just soooo coarse! :-( Hard water area makes it even worse! Anyone have any tips?
I think people love 4C hair when it is thick and long. But I have seen the ridicule, even today, that women with short 4C hair still get. I think its slightly better than 10 years ago, but not much...
