4 Signs She's Wasting Your Time (& She’s Not Into You) 

From an older guy in his late 40's - If a woman is interested in you, it will be very obvious. You won't have to wonder about it at all. She will take your calls, answer your texts, and generally be available to you even at the last minute. Women don't play hard to get with men they really want.

Mixed signals is one of the most frustrating signs of a lack of genuine interest that a woman can display. One day she acts like she's completely down for you, then the next she's playing very hard to get and leaving you confused as to whether or not she actually likes you. Best thing you can do is cut her off because the mixed signals will only continue.

I really prefer to be straight up rejected than get mixed signals.

Mixed signals is never really mixed. Its always means 'no', she just can't do it straight up for some reason. If she is into you she will find a way to communicate and find time to meet you. Everything, absolutely everything else is just waste of time. It just is. Actually, this one might be one of the most important videos ever on your channel.

Once you leave the woman who is wasting your time, take a deep breath and say "Time enough at last!"

All 4 signs are spot on. If you feel like it's a constant struggle to get her to talk (lots of short responses) or go anywhere with you, if she only contacts you when she wants something, if she says she'll call back and let you know but regularly doesn't, you are barking up the wrong tree. Seek someone else.

If you're looking to settle with someone (guy or girl) for a committed relationship, do NOT go near people saying stuff like "I'm just looking for a connection and we'll see what happens next" cuz that just means "I'll see if I have better options than you or not"

As far as mixed messages are concerned, I think it is important for people to be able to read when they've overstayed their welcome. Many partners do not have the heart to ever tell you in phatic Lee that they no longer care about you. I knew a girl once who would stand me up half the time on the days that we were supposed to meet and yet who still thought that she could call me whenever she needed an ear at difficult points in her life. When I realized what was happening and I stopped indulging these conversations, she lost all interest in talking to me. Be on the lookout for transactional relationships.

When a girl doesn't want to be seen around you in spots that she frequents, or by people who know the both of you, she's wasting your time.

I have always thought if i have to think if a woman is interested in me or not - they are not.

Most of these tips apply to not only girls, but also everybody in your life: friends, family, etc.

Remember gents it not “ your time “ it’s just “your turn”. She’s keeping the relationship ambiguous intentionally to keep you tethered in the vast orbit of the friend zone, giving you a false sense of connection simultaneously keeping her options open while she’s holding your spot for the 1% high value man. Your time is better spent in stoicism.

Good video! The Smartphone culture has really changed the dating scene. I just do things in person. If I text or call her it is brief and is only to set up a meeting in person. If she only wants favours or money etc... from you, then drop her right away, for she is merely a freeloader. Mixed signals are just her way of boosting her ego at your expense. Adolescents do this, not adults. Yes, do not tolerate flakiness more than once. Also , do not be the shoulder she cries on while talking about other guys who hurt her, especially if she tells you she is still sleeping with them. If you do this, she will see you as one of her girlfriends, not as a man.

I dealt with a woman that was playing hot and cold and do very little to reciprocate interest. The moment I stopped paying attention to her she wouldn't leave me alone. But I'm not playing into her games anymore.

It took me too long to figure out I was mismanaging my expectations of somebody I spoke to on a regular basis. I never got any face time with her, so I had to stop overthinking and boiled it down to a fundamental rule: “She’s either making time, or excuses”

Hey Courtney thanks for the videos, the fact that you don’t sugar coat anything and say it how it is , is really to my liking .

One sign is if you text, she answers but never texts first. And then doesn't answer later on.

Important things: 0:46 First Thing - Inconsistent Communication; 2:05 Second Thing - She's Sending You Mixed Signals; 3:08 Third Thing - She's Putting In Low / No Effort; 5:22 Fourth Thing - She's Flaky; and 7:00 to summarize all the told here. I might add on first thing (Inconsistent Communication), when replying to messages, some people will see the thing on social media such as "Seen". That can also be either the sign that person is not interested in us. I remember ones that I sis have one experience with my friend that I knew from childhood. We were living in same town, and we were hanging out, when I was in primary school. When I finished primary school, I moved to city where I started during that period (let's call it that way) going to secondary school, and also faculty, which I have one finished (and I hope also to soon be a master degree as well if I'm in luck). Anyhow, he's replies when I asked him when will he come were this: "I will see." Asking him the same after couple of years, the answer was the same. Then I decided to make one move. I told him things to a former friend this: "If you have time to some other things, etc. you should have told me. You're not suppose to pretend to be a liar, cause that's not good." Then he was putting the famous "Seen." Do the seeing, but you won't solve the problems. Then he blocked me on social media, but I didn't get angry. What I felt was renaissance. And the renaissance is a rebirth, since I will not tolerate his bad behavior from him at all. If you want more details of renaissance, you can find it on internet as well. When I was listening to you Courtney, I remembered that once I have seen one quote that goes like this (you can correct me if I made a mistake): "No one is too busy. You're just not their priority." Thank you so much Courtney ❤💙🤍.

This actually just happened to me. A girl I had gone on a date with seemed like she wanted to see me again, so we made plans for a second date. I followed up the day before and she "forgot" about our plans and made other plans with friends, but was able to meet up with me earlier. Then the next day she cancelled and never tried to reschedule. I realized that she wasn't interested, so I decided to not force the issue. Flakiness and lack of effort are big turnoffs for me. Thanks for reassuring me that I made the right choice lol

Thanks for being so blunt. I know a girl recently was wasting my time, flaking at the last minute on plans, and randomly texting me whenever she wanted attention and I finally just cut it off. Blocked her on all social media and moved on. I liked her before but it was a huge turnoff. Don't need that.

100% agree with all 4 of these. Sadly there have been times when I notice these signs but I chose to ignore them. But hey that’s how we learn ✌️thanks Courtney

Being flaky is the biggest turn off for me. Thankyou Courtney for this video, love your content ❤ you are such a sweet person, breaking down these problems for men so they don't make mistakes.

Some good feedback from u that reinforces some of my experiences. A girl in college was just using me to make the other guy she was talking to jealous. When I finally was shown her true intentions it literally took my breath away. Felt like I got my heart ripped out.

Women who are ‘emotionally unavailable’ can exhibit cycles of incredible interest, great communication and then when fear of true intimacy kicks in pull back and exhibit the behaviors you’ve described. This isn’t necessarily game playing but perhaps more accurately labeled as flaky behavior. The woman could be signaling they are not emotionally ready as opposed to ‘not that into you.’ I think you’re advice still stands as the reasonable choice to move on but leaves the respect for yourself and the other person intact. You remain the ‘prize’ but just not for the current sweepstakes contest. 😉

genuine desire is self-evident... the very act of having to wonder is an answer in and of itself... don't compromise on genuine desire

If she ticks alot of these boxes, she just aint into you, so just move on. Move on to where bois? There is no plan B. We aint got other options out here. 😢

The amount of times I was the only one asking questions and getting to know the other person on dating apps is a pretty big one. I should've realised that this is a big lack of effort from them. Thanks Courtney!

Yep! I've been there before, haven't we all? I ain't wasting my time or energy on those who are consistently inconsistent. I'm just taking it at face value. Some have growing up to do

I've definitely chased too many relationships with people who in retrospect didn't show enough interest but would say yes they liked me or wanted to date or whatever... I try to make my policy "don't overthink things and just take someone at their word. If they're lying, that's on them". I think what I really want is for the other person to own what they're doing. I'm the one putting rejection on the line, the least any halfway mature person can do is make their yes mean yes and their no mean no.

Do not chase after any women period!!!! If it is genuine it will just happen in a natural level. Conversation happens naturally not making any special lines, it just flows.

It's nice to have updates if possible to this topic even though the signs are almost always the same. It's a tale as old as time, like her saying "I need to work on myself" being a dead giveaway your partner found someone else and has fallen out of love with you. Not a day later you'll see them sucking face with another person. Someone I've known for a loooong time really locked me in. We were bread n' butter then after ten years I went ahead and sent a note if she'd be around a little longer and maybe elevate things (just a squish, not girlfriend) and... it was devastating. Roughly 8½ years later and I'm lucky to get a peep from her every few months. I guess after all our time together it was all for naught, but regardless, all destroyed because I wanted someone to stick around and do things with to break the monotony of daily life. This was _before_ the economy tanked and everyone's busting their humps trying to make ends meet and in turn spend every waking hour working. Some of us ask for so little but get a kick in the teeth for an answer.

Just the video I needed, thank you so much!

Thank you, Courtney. Appreciate your insights and helpful ideas toake things better. Positive thoughts for you and those close to you.

By far, this video has been incredibly helpful! It should be mandatory for any man interested in dating. Once that time is gone, you don't get it back!

it started back in college...i got the 'ole "lets be friends" or "you're like a brother to me" or the ever popular "i need my space" and let's not forgot "let's take a time out"...i didn't know there were so many of them...

Thanks for that reminder

I had not heard from this girl I was dating in a week, we met up the following week at a coffee shop and then she suggested we go out to dinner, while eating at a restaurant of her choice, she told me she slept with another guy and that is was an impulsive thing that just happened. I paid the bill and promptly left. It was beyond tacky to wait to tell me you saw somebody else while we are eating dinner. I mean if a free meal was the thing she was looking for, it was just really in poor taste.

If she wanted to, she would. Chances are she was either bored, hungry or she wanted to see if the next guy is better than you. She's allowed to do that, sure whatever, but you need to let her go the minute you become the backup plan. Don't settle gentleman.

Such a well done video. Thanks for all the tips. Lightbulb went on. One request…could we have a little more wrist exposure? Want to follow your watches too!

Courtney, I agree, on to the next one, choose wisely (or I should say on to the next batch, sort wisely)!!!

This is pretty much how I know most women are not interested in me romantically. It's always felt one sided. You can extend this to friend groups as well. The only thing ima gonna concede is we are adults so lives are busy with different responsibilities. So it can be difficult to make time for friends.

Spot on! Here are a couple....LOL..... In early conversation you share back and forth aspects about you that has been asked for that may be considered special. Example: I have really enjoyed singing most of my life.... Their reply, would love to hear you. You share a video singing and get very little to no comment. Not a usual result especially if you are rather professional at singing :). Another example: same as above in conversation and you share you have written thousands of poems and they want you to share something. I always make it personal and will write a poem based upon what has been shared with me so far in the communication so it will be killer. Again with little comment............not a normal response if serious in any way. I am a very detailed listener and communicator and always further a conversation with quality reply's based upon information shared. To me just showing someone you actually care about what they have to say or share :) Keep it real and pay attention!

Another great video ty

Good information, very practical, and very much to the point. Advice worth following… Thank you!

Happy Wednesday Courtney.😊 i miss summer. Thank you for telling the guys she is wasting their time 😮

I'd say that the signs Courtney mentions in this video only hold true when she's not stained by some type of trauma. Like, having experienced some type of abuse in a previous relationship or having been cheated on. 'Cause then she could be dealing with things like, trust issues, an initial fear of opening up to you, needing a lot of time to feel safe around you. I firmly believe that you should then give her the time and space to show up in a 'healthy' reciprocating way. You can't write her off for not being 'available' ftom the get-go, knowing that some women struggle with these type of issues. The more often you see/text her, the more she has to open up to you. If she's slowly opening up to you, you should probably keep on trying. At the same time, you should NEVER let a woman treat you like crap, itrespective of what she's been through. In the end it all comes down to finding the right balance between setting and honoring your own boundaries AND holding space for and showing compassion for her bad experiences. So be patient, yet NEVER let her walk all over you. This, imo, is the best way to go about getting to know a woman. And, oh, please, don't come and sue me when this doesn't work out for you. Like, it's her birthday, you go on a date with het, buy her a cake and some while later people start coming up to you to ask you what circus you're from. 😂 Cheers!✌

I went on a date with a woman one time, the date went well , she was engaging in coversation , smiling a lot , but the communication after the date was inconsistent , i always got the feeling she was assesing me or couldnt make up her mind what she wanted, i just gave up on her in the end, then just to finish the story , i later heard she had cosmetic surgery and she was fine as she was, another one with deep rooted issues that i,m not about to solve

I stopped talking to a girl last week because of the reasons you described. A friend set us up after we both said we liked each other, talked for about 2 weeks, then her messages became more infrequent and just dry. My nail in the coffin was when she was asking me questions about my career and I described what I do and she literally responded, "Laaame." Goodbye.

I never understood the texting thing. We all are on our phones always. How hard is it to text back someone? I can understand if you are in a meeting or something right it makes sense but to not text back the entire day like what were you doing?

Thank you Courtney.

This is SO Apropos! Wished I would have heard this a LONG time ago, as I had to figure it all out myself. My hope is this saves lots of guys tons of time at this point, though. Thanks for a great video.

Thank you I'm currently experiencing this with a co worker it's very stressful i don't have time for those type of games SMH

Thank You very much for your advice,it helped me gain perspective of a current communication situation.It will be a bit difficult to get over it after all the effort I put to keep communication,but I am glad it happened since now I know the truth.Thank You again!!

All great points and also applicable to any of your close personal relationships or friendships.

Great video. Thank you.

Practical, reasonable, friendly, down-to-earth, not pretentious, wise and sensible ... That's my babe!, the woman I want in my life.

Very true, agreed. Keeping it real....

If you're confused she ain't interest. It's brutal when you're really attracted to her and want to get something going. Remember, if you are interested so are a dozen other guys. The only chance you have is to let her go, for real, and see why happens.

LOVE IT REALLY, THANK YOU 😊

This is so - so accurate !!

Excellent advice and suggestions.

It's spring where I am and I've been prepping by looking at all your summer fashion and fragrance videos. Always thankful Courtney!

as a man you really dont need to wonder much if shes into u or not, you will know. If shes playing games shes not into u i learned it and wasted alot of time. This with respoding text messages is a big one, if shes tellin u she was busy etc. young woman are constantly at their phones if she were interested she would answer.

I like the phrase, “Breadcrumbs along”! Good video, too!!

Had this several times in the past. I never understood why they matched with me on dating apps and would never meet up.

I understand Courtney Ryan. She has good COMMUNICATION.

Hi Courtney & thank you for your perspective on dating in today’s world which, is fraught with mind games! I’m in my 60’s & today women are way far more complicated to understand & read. I’m a good read & relater of people but this generation is far more complicated & perplexed, for men of maturity & educated it’s a mind field. Please Courtney would you please comment & address this with your balanced thoughts on this. Best Regards Ross, Australia.

Thanks Courtney

It’s easier to assume that a woman you are interested in is going to waste your time. If they don’t then be pleasantly surprised and seriously consider her as a worthwhile partner.

What I appreciate most about this video is that it doesn't suggest changing your behavior to try to attract the woman. Too many videos suggest that men should try to diagnose the situation and then bend/adapt to attract a woman who has no/low interest instead of just moving on.

Yes. I have experienced all of these, but that's fine. Not everyone will be into you. The important thing is to recognize what's going on. If someone is into you they will reciprocate the amount of effort back to you. At the end of the day, there are plenty of people out there. Move on and don't give up. Sometimes you will really want something to work out and those are hard. If it's right, you don't have to force it.

Great video

I was dating this girl for about 2 dates. Was inconsistent texting wise( not a big deal idc for texting) but always was on her phone in our dates. Ended it after the second date I knew I was wasting my time

Very insightful. It made a decision for me!

Good points. after this video i went through my phone and deleted a lot of phone numbers. I have a problem with bartenders thinking they like me. when they are flirting and then them giving me there numbers never getting any response unless i am working today come and hang out. I would love to see you.

All women will eventually get tired of you, if they look at you as a god. Humans were never made to put each other on a throne to worship. We were made to help each other.

Great video❤

I think this was helpful. You explained yourself clearly. Thanks. You have beautiful eyes, you don't have to lead me on :). Have a good day.

Great video !.

What about she never calls says she need to know you before she calls but asks you to lunch but hang up before you answer

When in a relationship and moved farther away and did not tell you.

NICE TO SEE COURTNEY EVOLVING

If a girl cancels a first date, on the day of the date, and doesn’t send a counter offer-say “no worries! We’ll get together some other time” and move on to the next. If she messages you in the future, there’s still interest. Try to set up the date within the first 3-4 messages.

The various forms of disinterest, I have noticed are very common among women on internet dating sites.

A very challenging/ daunting task!... opposite genders... different backgrounds & upbringings/ genetics!... Different values, standards & morals. Different ethnicities, too!

First off great tips and information and second I got nothing to add on to this because it's been already said. And if a woman doesn't like me just let down gently without making it feel like my heart is getting stabbed by a knife and then twisting it to add more damage in the process.

I am facing this type of mixed signals....it's so irritating

I have dated 30+ girl in a year and there is 0 shows interest that you mentioned, does it mean anything?

Thanx courtney. I knew it.

Other possibility, knowing you are in the friend zone, and/or not obsessed by sex, it can be interesting for a study of the "feminine condition"; fascinating if you can be open minded and not judgemental, like when you try to study the quantum world. A relation don't necessarily require sex.

My general view is that if it matters they're going to find a way to let you know that they care.

As far as the answering texts goes don’t women intentionally wait 1-2 days to respond to a first text? I’ve heard sometimes they wait to see that you aren’t too needy or that you won’t blow up their phone/act weird

Had one girl that i liked gave me mixed signals, got her number and when i tried to hit her up, one of her friends had to tell me shes not ready for relationship only because she was scared to hurt my feelings 🤦🏻‍♂️ what a turn off

If the DMV responds to your email quicker than she responds to your text, it's time to move on.

Keep the Fashion tips coming plz. Your the Blue Collar man’s personal stylist ;)

Changing plans, avoiding real conversations, wanting to spend time when her other options are busy, needing help with things. Lots of narcissistic behavior out there don’t water the fields you don’t play in! I’ve had woman that show signs, interest, responds but has 100s of un read text from others. Still a waste of time. I was told I was delusional when bringing things up.

I'm going through this. I dated a lady who only calls me when she's bored or needs something. So i stopped talking to her since last year..every week, i get an odd text. It's either R U Ok? A series of question marks?????, or lately it's, R U Ded?.😅

These are helpful, but most women do these. I've yet to find a woman who does NOT do these things. Modern dating is dead. If she isn't going to be honest about her intentions, it's a waste of time. Checking out of the dating market has given me lots of piece of mind and heart.

I wish I had watched a video like this 2 years ago.

Thanks Courtney, I’m in this exact situation I’ve been seeing this gal not really on a quote on quote date we meet up at a club dance and have a great time but again I get that mixed feeling that she likes me but not the way I like her, she told me a while back that we were just friends but again I guess I thought maybe things could change but I’m meeting her at a party this weekend and I’m going to lay it on the line if she wants to date me or not but thanks to you I’m sure I know the answer !!