4 Ways Out Of Survival Mode 

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Same! Being “good” set me up to be a naive push over in the future and to have very weak boundaries

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For real. It got me right in my ❤️

I hope that some day you can be safe.

I’ve been crying the whole time. These videos are fantastic!

​@@ashleym1565don't stop at the catharsis of crying. we will have better lives when only when we apply his insights. ❤

Uh oh.. I just realised that even though I'm better(mentaly healthier) than ever before, I have never really left survival mode. I went from a jet black place to a charcoal. Yet, I think it's great, because the anxiety is gone. That's gold and a true blessing. The fears are still there, but they are mostly managable.

I'd like to have a checklist of what regular mode, not survival mode. I'm not being facetious. I'd like to know what the endgame is, what am I striving for, what do people w/o this level of trauma cope?

Same here and then I had to apologize to the abuser. Constantly felt insane. Now as an adult I am obsessed with LOGIC 😂

@@true_true That's interesting. I had similar experiences. I was told I shouldn't be angry, made to feel bad & wrong about feeling angry but, at the time, I was being repeatedly beaten unconscious by my mother & sexually abused by both parents. Who wouldn't feel angry? I didn't understand what was going on as a child but now I am intensely shocked at just how far crazy my parents were. They were bat shit crazy. They were insane! They shouldn't have been allowed in the same house as a child. Logic played a really important part in my not becoming actually insane with the constant gas-lighting, mistreatment & being told my every thought & feeling were valueless, wrong & bad & that I was insane. When I based my thinking on established facts & built logically from one point to the next it helped me to feel some confidence that I had some grip on what was going on. Now I know that they were the ones that were actually insane, criminal & dangerous people! If I had had video of their behaviour they would have been locked up for a long-time.

Same here. Whenever I’d question things or feel uncomfortable I was shut down. I was supposed to be “positive” I was supposed to be “grateful”. Even though I knew things weren’t right. I was the black sheep, the bad kid even though I didn’t even know what I was going through. I lived in a home of chaos and with a narcissistic and selfish father who my mother still to this day defends… they wonder why I never call or visit… because no one ever listened. Everyone pretended it was all fine and perfect, anyone who said otherwise was shunned and punished.

@@sarahstrong7174 I fucking hate that so much. I hated having my feelings invalided. As if the only human emotion we’re supposed to feel or express is happiness and gratitude. It still makes me feel guilty to this day when I get upset about things that are wrong or unjust. I’m so sorry you faced that disgusting amount of abuse. It’s like our “parents” didn’t want to deal with the fact that their children are having complete mental breakdowns.

@@mrs.quills7061 I am still looked at as the black sheep by some of my family, even though, both my narcissistic parents are dead. You would think I was some sort of criminal or druggy drop out. Instead my crime is that I was born & I spoke a little tiny bit too much truth occasionally. My parents also drummed it into me that I should be positive & be grateful & that I should not complain. I was accused of being 'so sour' that I had 'a face like a pickled onion'. I was supposed to act cheerful. I was told they would like me more if I smiled. One little question. If they wanted me to smile they could have acheived that by treating me a bit better. Stopping beating me unconscious & the occasional kind word would have worked miracles & saved them all that energy they spent hitting & kicking me. Was that too logical for them? Narcissists want you to behave in certain ways but they do not want to act in the ways that will result in you behaving in those ways. My mother seemed to genuinely want my love & would complain that I loved the cat more than her. Honestly a little bit of kindness & a few positive words now & then would have gained her my love. I was a kid that wanted to love & be loved. Instead she destroyed my love with her relentless cruelty. Narcisissistic Personality Disorder is a severely cruel mental illness that destroys happiness, minds, health, relationships, lives & families. We all need to keep thinking & talking about this untill we start to find ways forward. I beleive there must be ways to teach children ways of being & coping that will make it less likely they will become narcissists. This is a worldwide problem & we need a huge world wide organisation to tackle this issue & somehow reduce narcissism & all it's unhappinesses.

I worded a version of this to my supervisor and an abusive colleague. I said "I'm well beyond allowing myself to be abused anymore."

I got stuck on the same positive note in the end !!!! So true

The sad thing about that is it occasionally winds you up with no one in your life because they were all trying to throw you b.s.

Mine, too!

Extremely helpful video! It explains so much about my past and present. Gives me great hope for the future.

Yes!! 🥰😼

Absolutely

YES! Absolutely 💯 agree!!!!

Empathy makes a great therapist. college courses in Psychology enunciate that.

agree

Or, you might luck out, right out of the gate, as Patrick did!

If you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop… Consider the possibility that it already has… This has been helpful for me. Best wishes to you

Good tip.

Thank you for the tip and comments❤. I also am always in fear so this is very helpful

​@@mindysmith4645I can't decide whether to laugh or cry. Thanks for the tip!

ya the only trouble with that is i have no friends and everyone thinks i'm nasty now , because i went from being a door mat - to - i'm not taking that shit anymore.

@@alysmarcus7747 hehehe, try easing into the new you. I had to.

​@@alysmarcus7747 keep setting those boundaries! Ive heard that it's hard at first and you may chase away those that are used to walking all over you. Over time you will learn how to set boundaries with more grace. For now, you're doing great!

21:18

I dont tolerate BS in the slightest and its hurting my career prospects.

I completely agree! I’ve been trying to do this as well. It gets complicated when it’s your Mom or sister. I’ve tried to figure out how to navigate this…

@@peacelove6817 Feel you.... I don't talk to my brother these days but i'm already happy that I realised, he is a bully and I do not like my behaviour when he is around. He pulls me into games I do not want to go to anymore.

@@agness81 It makes me sad that I can’t keep my Mom and Sister in my life the way I want to. But when your family brings out the worst in you and they do play these mind games that are hurtful we are better off to find other people that love and support us. I hope you have those people in your life. Blessings 🙏🏼❤️

@@peacelove6817 I agree, and thank Heavens, I do have those people. Despite all, I've always found loving people. My "only prob" has always been my family... I hope you have them too to make up for your mom and sister... (But I presume you do.. Once you start seeing and value the good around, it's already a huge step ahead :) )

@@peacelove6817 I am right there with you.

been there, just be careful not to do it drunk or you might not realize you severely injured yourself.... not speaking from experience or anything... *cough*

@@fluffyuffyumpkins its not okay to do that to other people's stuff. your inner child didn't need to hurt other people. That just continues the cycle of abuse. Find your own stuff or someone's curbside stuff.

There's something truly, deeply cathartic in destroying stuff that represents deep pain caused to you. I did the Office Space thing 20 years ago (love that movie!) By taking a sledgehammer to the motherboard of a computer. That computer had been given to me by my malignant narcessist ex bf. He had discarded me, belittled me, and made me feel worse than worthless. He'd told me I was stupid and he'd wasted his time and money getting me a computer. He fancied himself a poet, so I'd written him countless pathetic love poems (barf) and they were all saved on that motherboard. I'd tried so hard to prove to him that I was "worth it." But he didn't care. The love bombing phase of his narcessistic game was over. I nearly died of depression. But intead of killing myself, I killed that damn motherboard! I killed TF out of it! It was smoking and it smelled like burnt electronics when I was done with it. He was done with me, and I was done beating myself up about it. Instead I beat up that "gift" he had given me. A narc never gives a real "gift." They just give Trojan hoarses. That damn computer was only a way for him to control me and then tear me down. Well I tore IT down! Along with all the pathetic, grasping love letters and all the graphic design work I'd done on it that hadn't impressed him. Something about savagely killing that computer and all that it represented really released me from his grips.

@@themaggattack What a read. Hope you're doing great now.

@@themaggattack good job!!! There is nothing worse than narcissistic abuse by a husband or boyfriend that supposedly “loves” you. And no one can really empathize and understand it unless they’re dealt with it.

Hello Joanne

This video helped me realize I was doing the same thing with my current job. So glad this video is helping so many people

Exactly, his job is the opposite of toxic! I would imagine that working for yourself, doing work you're passionate about, and knowing you're truly helping people sure beats working for someone else and feeling oppressed by a toxic work environment. But still, I can imagine it's A LOT to sit with people and listen to their traumas, and help guide them through it constantly. Especially for such a compassionate person like him. He shouldn't hesitate to take a few days off or lower his available hours. Because everyone needs "me time." Overworking himself too much could cause burnout, and that's not good for anyone.

Me too :^\

I don’t think he feels like a hypocrite about anything.

I think the vast majority of work places are infused with people traumatized by poor parenting. This tells us that child abuse/ very poor parenting is epidemic. Nothing new. I suggest it should be expected in every work place. If this is intolerable find a way to work at home or be entirely self employed. I would never for anyone but myself.

Same here, jobs just made me feel like I was the only sane one constantly throwing my hands in the air in disbelief. Thank God for this video!!!

Yes this spoke to me as well. I had a job that was so bad I just had to walk out one day. It’s made me afraid to actually apply for jobs because I’m afraid I’m going to end up in another abusive situation. So now I work for myself and it’s much better.

me too

@@thedevilkittie2047 ive walked away from so many jobs and burnt so many bridges because i was scared

Yes, a toxic workplace is a living nightmare.

That’s reassuring to hear. Thank you for sharing. Which ADHD meds?

thank you for sharing ..I feel that some of your aha moments have triggered mine..

In a similar boat. Check out self Havening Technique. You can do it yourself. So far my nervous reactions have lessened.

Thanks for sharing, I can relate alot

Which ADHD meds worked out for your situation? Would love to bring it up with my psychiatrist

Please! Yes! I second this request!!!

Third! Plans are really tough.

I also would like this ! One trick I HAVE found that works for me is "backward planning" ! It's not "sensible", really ! I think I am 'sneaking up' on it, that way I can't be let down ?! I came upon it when I realized it was easier figuring out directions HOME from a place I had only been once, & once I had that in my head, I could "flip" it to figure out how to get there. Crazy explaining it, but, somehow works for me !

@@m.maclellan7147 that sounds like a really helpful way of figuring things out, especially for a person who feels lost, who doesn’t trust her intuition, after years of abuse. So if I understand you correctly, you determine a destination or goal and then plot all the steps starting from the goal leading back to where you are now?

@@akayiatos Yes, exactly! Lol. You are much more succinct!

At this point I’m having a lot of trouble finding a way out.

I'm praying to get out of survival mode in the next year. God willing.

I wish you much success!

This is literally me. I'm so tired I don't know if I have the energy and will to even try something. Just so exhausted...

🙌💖🙏

I understand. So drained

I understand “I’m so tired” I totally relate. ❤

It's because we pick people and situations that mirror our family dynamics. We have to stop doing that.

I can relate. I stopped going to Christmas gatherings because I was the only one who didn't receive presents. I used to shop and purge. I don't do that now, but I really relate to your experience.

Money is a vehicle, neither good or bad on it's own. Abusers like to use it as a vehicle of shame and strip us of our humanity, our basic human desires, alienate us to our own bodies. But God made us to enjoy things. Ecclesiastes first couple chapters speak about how enjoying food and drink is our part in our daily struggle, it's "a pleasure given by God" - when I first read that I was blown away. I was used to being shamed for my desires, but here the Holy Book tells me basically "it's alright, it's your part" Don't be so hard on yourself. May the highest loving spirit descend on your soul. "You're worth it... You always were"

Yes. Making money is how I feel more independent, I am treated better at work than I ever have at home, and I buy too much. I have some priorities but I'm constantly not having enough money. So essentially I'm just fixing it by working more.

Hey. I dont have the same experience with material deprivation (only emotional deprivation from a mother who could be quite unstable) - just want to tell you that I'm truly moved by your story and it brings tears to my eyes, it's so sad you went through that...I also feel pissed at your father as you deserved so much better.

​​@@dannydeboer8821I remember reading that verse and having the same reaction! I had a lot of cute stuff when I was a kid, which I was seriously grateful for. I shared with friends and never put myself above anyone because of what I had. My dad had a rough childhood, so out of jealousy, he treated me like I was a spoiled brat. That gave me the mindset that having good things in life was something to feel bad about, but this verse made a big difference in changing that. Its good to enjoy the blessings God gives us (as long as we don't put them above what's more important, of course). Glad to see you bringing up this verse!

We have a couple of those here but I feel too embarrassed to go there.

I want a “rage” room, but instead of breaking things, I can just yell and scream, and even sing at the top of my lungs with no one able to hear me.

@@anxylum does your local library or music store rent out sound-proof recording studios?

@@VeronicaSipemy library has rooms, but not sound proof. And there’s no local studios in this small town. Driving out on the highway is my only option. 😕

@@anxylum do you have a music scene? How about a metal concert/show? I could see some people able to cathartically yell along with a crowd at a show or sports event, though you wouldn’t have as much freedom in what to say. I feel you though, I have to go out to a park in the woods or my car to do this kind of work. I don’t like to cry in front of my family. Luckily for me it’s not as loud as wanting to rage.

Sending love. 💕

Sending you love and healing 💚💚

@Merle Langlois Nothing wrong with being single, far better than being in a bad relationship

I hope things are getting better for you. Let us know how you are doing.

I hope things are looking up for you!

Thank you my adhd ass was pushed away by the length of the vid. Had to see the outline of content first

I'm exhausted & in survival mode all the time!!! I need a punching bag and some gloves lol

Signs of survival mode.... fighting hard to not break down, lethargy, feeling like you can't ask for help, brain fog, forgetful, highly reactive to new, added tasks, maxed out, waiting for things to get better...Netflix, TV, veg out, escape, persevorating (spelling?), ruminating, replaying situations....ongoing for days, weeks, or months... short tempered, unable to cope with minors stressor (other people think you're overeacring to life things, like a flat tire, a broken glass needs extra effort to pick up, garbage bag broke, spilled / mess... these become " the straw the broken the camels back" because other issues have you in overwhelmed mode.

❤❤❤ could've written that but you nailed it...😮

The same for me, it is my anger that gave me the strength to say enough is enough and I immediately stop contact with abusive people and enforce boundaries. They didn't like it but I was in a place where I didn't care anymore whether they like it or not. I think anger is what pushes to put ourselves first

Sometimes it can be directed unfairly at people who don't deserve it, but all feelings occur for a reason and should be recognized.

Keep at it. I was in your shoes in a miserable family life with abusive narcissistic parents who held college monies over my head so I never finished my degree. I did other things in life. Keep at it. Go in bite sized pieces. Talk with TRUSTED councilors who get what you are enduring, maybe there are other programs or supplemental ways of coping with things. I am out of this over 40 some odd years, and sometimes events in my life will reappear in dreams or memories due to visual cues or triggers. It's a life long situation that you may have to fight. Make helping others a way of healing. Through doing this work, you will engender compassion, and will eventually gain joy and happiness in viewing others' successes! Ex. "we all win!" I want that for you, dear. Don't give up. I am passing my baton on to you.

Damn..I feel you..what helped me was trying to change the way I look at everything in life and even my past..and trying to control your thoughts and emotions..like I hated my job so much that I would get sick everyday i went ..so I started to think about and feel hkw my last day would be going into my entrepreneurial moves and having 80k a month in the bank..I did it all the time and it helped alot..peace and you got this

Wow! you sound alot like how I was. I'm a christian and that's how I got through and get through my life.

You deserve every hug you get.

I tried the beat up a pillow thing, but I felt like I was practicing being angry, and just going for fresh air hits the spot.

@@sage9836 fresh air is great too. :) I rather enjoy walks and bike rides.

Do it! I'm in the process of setting up my home gym with a bag. Love it! Some of us prefer explosive motions as an emotional release and great exercise.

I feel rage all the time. I told my sister about it. She told me I don't look angrily. I heard about a rage room, there you can destroy things in for a fee.

@@healerscreek I ordered a bag and gloves today ;)

Hey, good for you ! Definitely try to find other Artists ~ this is kind of my "chosen family" now - still keep in touch with my f'd up family ~ but only my sister isn't crazy ! Look for Mill building if you're in the East Coast (if you're in USA) - often rents are more affordable in mill buildings.....maybe see if you can find a place local to you. Look into studio sublets or shares ~ that's how I got my foot in the door ! Best decision I ever did. You might also look for "Maker spaces" as well. Good luck.

❤️

I hope you made it out.

Wow! Me too! In 2008, I was pregnant, planning my wedding, (please, no judgment in the order of those 2 things) getting ready to move into a new home that we would share with my parents (just as it was becoming obvious that my Mom was an alcoholic) and at the last minute, my sister and her family, due to her own emotional and financial crisis, moved into the same house with us! It's a really HUGE old house. Space was not an issue. However, constant arguments between my sister and her husband was really upsetting to me and triggered feelings from my past marriage to a narcissist. Whew! That was a crazy amount of change to deal with and the only place I felt serenity and secure in my environment was at work. I had a job working at a department store counting money and balancing daily register sales. I worked alone in a room that NO ONE was allowed in except me while I was working so I was totally in control of my environment. Everyone else was locked out, but I could come and go as needed. I felt important and empowered to be myself and confident in my abilities. This job had actually helped me have the confidence to leave the narcissistic ex-husband. Then one day, as I was about to leave work, I was called in to see the manager. The company had decided that the job I had would be condensed into half the time and I was expected to cashier the other half of the day! The thought of having to leave my, literal, "safe" room and talk to strangers was terrifying because I had come to realize that I was very much an introvert and always felt like I had to put on a mask as an outgoing person whenever I had worked in public settings. That is exhausting and also that environment was overwhelmingly loud and busy for me. I'm sorry this is such a long story. The point is that now that one place I felt like I had control in my life was being taken away from me. I could not just quit as I had good medical benefits and I was pregnant. This all led to a long slow deterioration of my sense of self and 7 years later I had a complete breakdown. Too many more things including pandemic, my parents deteriating health and an "ice -pocalypse all in one year has really put me back into a constant state of survival mode and all the normal daily tasks or even leaving the house feels like more than I can manage most days. If you read all this, Thank you for listening. 🥰 It actually helped to just get this all out. This video gave me a lot of insight. Thank you for sharing your story too. It's validating to know that, although sadly others have gone through this too, just to know that they understand really does help. I'm not just weak or lazy or crazy! Best wishes in your recovery! I'm already plotting what I can destroy to let my inner rage out. Although listening to some really angry heavy metal music has helped! 😉 Thank you again for sharing.

@@deborahducret-shiley6309 Hey, thank you a lot for your story. It sounds really tough, but I'm sure you are strong enough to find a working solution. I struggle a lot with survival mode myself right now and I know the feeling of exhaustion really good. I'm living with roommates who have the habit of playing loud music in the middle of the night and not cleaning after themselves. High energy costs and unstable finances are a thing and then the dad of my boyfriend died and triggert the trauma of my own father's dead. I'm really exhausted too, but I try to stay positive and find one solution at the time. Even if I only change my routine to go to a park after school instead of going straight back home to my toxic roommates, if it helps a little and gives you a break and you can breathe for a moment, than it is a good change. I hope you get better and get help from your environment. Live is a lot sometimes. I wish you all the best. PS: I also love heavy metal :) and I do a lot of sport, like Volleyball and climbing. Just physical exhaustion is good, because if your body is tired your brain can not catastophise anymore

Me too.

I taught high school for thirty years and retired in June of 2016. I don't know how old you are or how long you've been teaching, but I'll share my experience in the hope that it will be of some use to you. I grew up the third son in a family of four children, and am the youngest by five years. My father lost his business and our house after having to declare bankruptcy when I was about five. He drank, my mom over-ate, and they both raged. However, they were also often very loving and affectionate. There are many other details, but suffice it to say I fit Patrick's definition of childhood trauma. I went to university, thinking I would go into law (as my parents hoped), the civil service, or academia. I didn't decide on a teaching career until I crashed and burned on the LSAT (didn't study) and though I scored well on the foreign service entrance test, it wasn't good enough to get an interview. While I had been invited by the head of my university department to do my masters, I decided I had had enough of the ivory tower, at least temporarily. A career in teaching would allow me to get started in life, have a steady income, travel, maybe even get married (I hadn't dated anyone in university and had only done so a couple of times in high school, but why should that matter?). And I could always decide to do my masters later. Eventually. So I did a fifth year at university to get enough English credits to qualify to take it as a teachable subject at the faculty of education, and after graduating from the faculty (almost blew it due to procrastination), I had some incredible luck. I had supply taught for only three months when I was offered a permanent position. Of course, it was in one of the least desirable high schools in the board, but I did say incredible, not good, luck. Anyway, if you could teach there, you could teach anywhere. So I stayed there for fifteen years. I didn't hate the job. I really enjoyed helping young people, and though I loathed planning, marking, and especially bureaucratic "next-big-thingism", I always felt that I was doing something useful, at least for most of them, and I knew this from the mostly positive feedback I got from students and parents, not "performance evaluations". I did get involved in our union, and was union rep for two work-to-rules and a lock-out. After the lock-out I decided that there was no hope of positive change given the trustees on the board, so I decided I needed a change, and got a full time position with another, coterminous, board. Conditions and salary were much better; I also had joined a recovery program and even got married. But indecision and self-doubt, aggravated by procrastination, eventually got me into trouble with an administrator who was at war with her staff, not just me. I was formally reprimanded; she was finally promoted out of our school, and I got involved with our union again. The union involvement also allowed me to meet and work with people from other schools, and I eventually became union rep at my second school, resigning from that position the year before I retired. A good thing, too, because we ended up on strike that year. Incredible luck... So all I have to say to you is, make up your mind, and that's coming from someone who hates doing just that. It's your life, and you haven't a moment to lose. But if you stay, make your satisfaction in the job your primary goal. That isn't being selfish. It's necessary for you to grow and to become both a better person and a better teacher. Find as many positive reasons as you can for enjoying it. They're sitting infront of you every day, in your classroom, staffroom, department office and union local. Some are even administrators. Not a bad public, that. Whatever you decide, I wish you blessings and true happiness.

It’s unfortunate how we pay for years of therapy and the therapist that gets it without ever meeting us is FREE and on RU-vid!

​@poshperfect1393 Yesss...I think the same thing. I asked my daughter who referred me to this channel, "Where are these therapists in real life?!?

I inherited depression from my mother since father never cared about her and she'd see him through the hospital window walking along the street and je would never visit her. I controlled it for years but this pandemic manifested my suicidal tendencies more than ever.

My father punched my mother in the stomach when she was pregnant with me. But I was the bad one in the family. Yeah, right.

Wow

Yes, me. I have higher than normal testosterone (as a female) from being born in a hostile environment. I'm now a high conflict individual. Always anticipating a fight response (rarely freeze or flight). Very problematic for daily living. So I isolate. Nothing is "fun" or "funny" to me. Most things are "life/death" to me. It's exhausting.

My mum was a neurotic control freak while I was pregnant. I was born traumatised I believe x

Yes!! While on some videos, looking at the comments section can be... a pretty significant gamble, put gently lol, I truly adore getting to hear everyone's comments here. I love that this resonates with everyone so much, even though I do wish we didn't have to go through the trauma we all did. We've all experienced so much despair, and yet the voices here hold so much hope and kindness, and I also hear the desire for something better, to work on ourselves, and wishing and wanting to be the best we can be. It's very empowering, seeing all that.

I find the comment section to be comforting. It's like group therapy where everyone can contribute.

Well, let me give you a dose of reality - you'll never _choose_ to connect with me, no matter how well I treat you. You ego won't let you connect with me because your identity is defined partially by the strangers you need to feel more powerful than - of which I am one. _Every_ human being is a bully first, no matter what - not bullying people in your social circle is the _exceptional_ behavior, not the default.

​@@AtariEric This sounds like it's coming from a place of deep trauma. Connection is subjective, and the fact that so many people feel it and can choose love means it's possible. Even with strangers. I sincerely hope you've managed to heal some since you wrote this comment, or at least get the right therapy to gain more awareness of it. Big love to you.

@@jessied3210 I've had enough therapy for expert psychologists to find out (in horror) that I have been injured by dishonest people like you too badly to ever recover - and all of your "hope" is merely mockery, knowing what you've done and knowing full well you'll do it again until I _stay_ injured. And "connection" is only "subjective" in order to discriminate arbitrarily without suffering the punishments you would had your dishonest judgements been based on objective criteria. Whenever they are, I can prove I meet _or exceed_ those criteria and expose your rejections as being in bad faith. The fact is, people _choose_ not to connect with me out of their own narcissistic need to wield power over me because it seem my very _existence_ triggers humanity's insecurities. That's not my fault - nor is it my "trauma". That is your _choice_ to be cruel so you can derive pleasure from my pain. It doesn't matter what's "possible" - what matter is that you'd rather die than get over yourselves and treat me like an equal. I'm sick and tired of people complaining and accusing me whenever I simply observe and correctly analyze their behavior.

Understanding anger as a SECONDARY emotion was a game changer for me. Meaning something else leads to anger: unmet expectations, hunger, sadness, disappointment, etc. There are different definitions for "emotions" and "feelings" but I'm not sure I really understand it. (P.S. I love your idea so much... I may be trying this myself.)

The other night after work I was so mad I took a couple of my glass cups and went out to the alley behind my apartment and smashed them into the ground

@@williamburk5818 did you also push the broom afterwards? If so, how did that feel?

My whole life is a gauntlet, btw.

Cortisol makes us fat too.

Don't forget digestive function and immune system! And blood flow! Cortisol comes from the brain and messes up the body, but oxytocin (trust hormone) inhibits (turns off) cortisol! And u can get it by cuddling someone or something you trust

You might be interested in checking out the nutritional y t channels of Dr. Eric Berg and Thomas De Lauer - they're keto specific but have an amazing knowledge of nutrients and other health related topics so check them out. I know they've made really interesting / helpful / educational videos on cortisol, stress, adrenals, etc. So maybe search y t for their channels and those topics. I saw one recently on Bergs channel about how to manage stress and decrease cortisol.

Now I know why I only get along with Gen x and older you tripping cuz it's loud ?Yeah you wouldn't like my 2nd jailer at all .

@@areuarealman7269 I'm only 1 year younger than a gen x but I do know that older generations have this mindset that it's ok to have fucked up lives and to just suck it up and shut the fuck up and continue feeling miserable, not the life I want to be stuck living. It generates negativity towards others when we don't deal with our own trauma, kinda like you being an ass to me on here, you brought nothing constructive to the table and only commented to bully, not exactly a good look to have on a channel for trauma support.

I don’t think healthy people will do this around their kids, they are trying to break the pattern and no enforce it.

@@nikstar1313 That's the problem though, many of the people needing the technique are unhealthy, often with very poor boundary skills, and they specifically need to be guided in understanding how to appropriately use the technique. That's all I was saying, that practitioners should explain to them not to do it in front of kids or even adults who could be triggered traumatically by seeing or hearing what seems like anger or aggression to look at it. An appropriate setting should be provided or suggested where others will not be adversely affected by the person working through things in this way.

Sending ❤️

I hope you find everything you need 🤗

me too!!!!! crazy! lets do it. lets be better moms. hugs, boo. we can do this!

@@nancyzehr3679 me three!

You are all so sweet and supportive! ❤️ I wish everyone here a wonderful healthy recovery and healing ❤️

YES, o my god!

same bro. my brother 3 years ago was in a horrible skateboarding crash. terrible tbi. I havnt had the same sharp thinking ive had before sense. Its a really weird feeling just being in auto-pilot for years. Yelling legit helps lol

Your sister reminds me of a cousin of mine.

tell the sister to sort it out herself or keep it shut.

I can so relate. My therapy is centered on somatic experiencing. It has been a life-changer.

@@jenbloom6848 I am glad to hear that. It’s not widely known about and I am trying to get my physical therapist to talk to doctors and get a study going. Talk therapy just kept making me relive it. Thus it kept continuing to traumatize me. This removed it. ❤️ ❤️

My triggers and resentments are bad. What is the book I should get?

Ease rzytehjd I h NBC I hivhinb BBB j

Big mood indeed lol

Hey, check out "How to ADHD" here on RU-vid. Really sweet gal that does the videos & she gets in experts ~Super helpful stuff !

@@m.maclellan7147 Oh yes, I’m a subscriber of How to ADHD and I love her videos!!