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My narc friend would visit for a week .I almost needed therapy after he left it was just exhausting.He stole every idea tips my music ,books it was like dealing with a leech.
I FINALLY FACED THE DRAING FEELING I FELT AROUND THEM NEVER IGNORE UR GUT THEY ARE LIFE SOUL SUKS VAMPIRES ZOMBIES THEY 0:00 SHOW UWHO THEY ARE LISTEN CLOSELY THEY TRY 2 HIDE WHO THE ARE NOTCE HOW THEY DONT LIKE QUESTIONS IT GOES ON AN ON CALL EM OUT ON THEREBS THERE THE KINGS OF HYPOCROCISY MENTAL MIDGETS DJOUR THEY HATE THE WORD NO INFANTILE 2 YR OLD TRAPPED IN A ADULT BODY THEY WILL LIE EVEN IF TRUTH SOUNDS BETTER IF THERE SO SPECIAL WHY DO THEY RUN PLP OFF 😂😢😮😅😊
@@alonzomosley7I should really took this as a sign. There was this friend to me and my husband and my husband had this idea about a thing. Weeks later this "friend" told us about it like it came from him, like we never talked about it, my husband tryed to point it out. Then it all went down, got sucked in a lot of weird stuff. Good to be out! 🎉
we dont have to worry about that, they just simply cut us out of their lives, and started going things through actions. The term "actions speck louder than words", thtat what they are doing to us. Doing crap to get under our skin and in our heads, without speaking one single word...and continue to do so, even without my wife and I even communicating at all. The narcissist will find ways and do things that they know will get under your skin and play mind games to get into your head. They are completely evil....
Probably all of us have exhibited one or two of these traits from time to time. But when you are dealing with someone who proves, again and again, there is something wrong...there is.
One of the biggest indictator they're never fault. They never do anything bad and they never say sorry or apologize for the things they do wrong, when caught... they'll always say they did this because of that and there's always an excuse. They know they are wrong but won't acknowledge it and simply just ignore you and wait for the issue to die down. They put the blame on everything else except what they did. Cowards who can't take responsibility.
@@mountain.spiderIf you don't at least try to understand their explanation, that would imply that you think you know better than they do, so who's actually the narcissist in that situation..?
1)they dominate conversations,2)you hesitate to share news with them,3)they can’t handle criticism, 4)they will give you advice you never asked for,5)they radiate fakeness
Wow! Describes someone I know to a T! I wouldn't even get a chance to give criticism they won't let you get a word in in a disagreement they just keep going basically arguing with themselves! 🤣
Interestingly, many Autistics are described the same way because we communicate differently than allistics. So I’m not taking it as gospel that these traits are exclusive to narcissists, because I’ve heard the same complaints made about Autistics when they’re communicating.
Never share your past trauma or what's in your heart with a narcissist, as they will torture, twist and lie any thing that you have sincerely shared with them. I believe they are truly diabolical.
3)they can’t handle criticism , 5)they radiate fakeness. My former son's partner is a huge one.....me and my wife have been exiled out of there lives, and we have been cut off ever seeing the grandkids ever again
I suffered a narcissist for two years. It took me another two years to realise I wasn’t angry at them, but at me for putting up with that crap. Never again
Yup. Been there. Although I suffered for three decades with my personal asshole, I finally woke up the last year. I wish I had those years back but I really appreciate the years I have left.
Anyone who sees through them, or confronts them with their lie(s), becomes an enemy and they’ll work on destroying that persons character behind their back through lying, manipulation and deception.
I know one who actually owned up to it using the phrase "get dirt on them." If this guy loved others like he he believed that he deserves, then he might just walk on water. Bless his heart.
The best way to wind up a narcissist is to praise someone else to them. They will inevitably start saying critical things about the person you are praising.
@@ct6852 Yes! When you're in company, your narcissist at your side and you greet someone by congratulating them on their latest venture/achievement and chat about it and the narcissist can't keep up. Beware though. They'll store up rage for later! I just think it's funny nowadays. Sorry if that sounds mean, im not normally mean but things like that help me to survive.
I once had a narcissistic friend who often commented that he didn’t understand why friends always drifted away after a few years and broke contact with him. One day I attempted to explain to him why this occurred. I started out-You know some people consider it rude to say-and related a condescending remark he had made to someone. He said, “Well I don’t see why they would think that, I was just trying to tell them they were wrong.” Eventually I drifted away and broke contact with him.
Amen to that! I just did the same thing. Knew my ex friend for about 8 year's. I always see the good points to people. But as we know some really suck. I tried to be a good understanding friend but he became exhausting. All about him and had issues with everyone. He's lucky he never got his head cracked opened. A big red flag friends he knew way longer then me just broke communication with him. I met them. All nice dude's. But of course they were the problem not him. Finally I can only put up with the negative crap for so long. So I iced him. Damn right he deserved it. People like him will never understand why he will live angry lonely and miserable. Fuck that superiority crap! My anixety level went down just by walking away from that negative friendship lol. Life is precious. Pick your friends carefully or just enjoy being with yourself.
Jst bcuz someone is blunt and tactless doesnt make him a narcissist. And often ppl who suffered thru childhood neglect have trouble maintaining relationships. Romantic and platonic. Your not a psychologist so its prolly best u dont try diagnosing folks.
@@yvonnejackson1696 theres proof he killed ppl. Ur gonna run into alot assholes on life. There not all narcs or psychotic. Ive been guilty of doing the same thing. We're not Doctors tho and mental diagnosis are extremely complex. And u only know him on a surface level. Somebody making that diagnosis wld know him on a far deeper level. And still rarely is anyone ever a narc or psychopath. Its like less than 4 percent of the population. Youve prolly met one or 2 in youre life. Most ppl are jst assholes.
Oh my God you’re not kidding!!!!! My Mother used to say anyone who’s *always* the victim is *always* the victimizer. It’s so true!!!!!!! They love to set up traps to make them look innocent but they’re the ones causing the chaos!
Yup, cause Malignant narcissists dont seem capable of showing others genuine respect, courtesy, compassion, (unless they are sucking info out of you to later use against you) and so they go about with their damaged wrecking ball personality, trying to crush others so they can feel better about their hollow, decaying warped view of themselves. HURT PEOPLE, HURT PEOPLE - they do it on purpose. Putting others down charges their batteries. My simple rules for immediate distancing of others, is if they are discourteous they are probably narcissists or in training to be one. Dont waste your time unless the pain in their lives motivates them to ask for guidance and they put it into practice. Spend your time around trustworthy, safe, respectful, honest, loving, hard working "salt of the earth" people. Dont invest your pricless beautiful life on a rattle snake.
My sister is the worst narcissist ever ; she made my life a misery and when I lost my beloved cat and was heartbroken , I told her she didn't even answer or ask me anything about what happened to him , just started talking about herself; when my 30 year relation ship finished she laughed and said to me he was only a money ticket for you; I was broken as when we met he had nothing and we lived off my money for quite some time, she is truly evil and I have no contact with her now.
Sounds horrid of her. Curious have you ever asked her why she behaves in such an odd way? You haven’t considered the possibility she has some kind of Asperger’s ? Sometimes people with that particular condition don’t fully comprehend other peoples emotions because they dont relate to world in same manner as you and I. Well it’s a possibility. Although I understand to be on receiving end must be distressing especially when you feeling particularly vulnerable and need support not thoughtless comments.
@@lisadefries6718No. How’s about she was Jealous AF of her! You can’t ask a narc why they behave that way they’ll just talk in circles and deny deny deny till they’re blue in the face
Ignore and focus on god in prayer, spend as least amount of time as possible near them even if it’s a roommate - close your door keep completely separate from them
A family member is quite deaf, and gets embarrassed to say he doesn't hear people... so, as soon as someone stops talking, he begins with something else. It's just like a narcissist, but the reason is quite different.
If talking a lot equalled anything then every actor, media professional,teenager, grandmother, vlogger would be a narcissist. I think labels need to be treated with caution and not over used. Some people are just socially inept and put their feet init unwittingly . They carried away with the moment and dont have emotional comprehension to realise they upsetting others…………
I don’t think just one thing can determine if a person is a narcissist , usually there are a whole list of traits, this being just one. I deal with a covert narcissist who doesn’t talk a lot but she last a whole list of other traits
@@alilonghair7792 Agreed. I can't hear, so I talk. I always get treated differently when people find I can't hear. They act like I'm stupid or they avoid me. Sometimes you gamble because arrogant people get treated better than hearing impaired.
All their exes were such horrible people. If a woman i'm dating starts labelling all of her exes as crazy, I'm gone like the road runner in Looney tunes. Meep meep...*swooooooooooosh*
Thank you for your wonderful video. I I have just given my narcissistic 'friend' the boot after many years of making allowance for her egotistical behaviour. I feel so thankful for having the confidence to see it through. I am 72 years young and I am done with taking crap from people. FREEDOM rocks 😂
My mother in law is a narcissist and she is so exhausting and life sucking i can't deal with her any longer. She has broke every boundary with my children and tries to take over their birthdays if i don't allow this she would cry to my husband and play the victim and start a fight. I have not spoke to her or seen her for 7 months. No contact is the only way to keep any sanity they will ruin your life!!
I've done the same with my father and brother. Stay away. That is your only escape from this catastrophic mental condition. Just stay away. No communication at all. Protect yourself, your kids and your husband from them no matter what
@georgiersl It's been a long battle for my husband to realize because anytime he confronted her she lied and many times I was ready to get a divorce to not have to deal with her anymore. It takes so much work because often narcissistic mothers enmesh with their sons and it took years of work for him even to unravel how unhealthy his own childhood was, most men shove that deep down. My son wanted to do something with just our immediate family on his birthday and she screamed at me and got in my face because she was not controlling it. I told him I was done with her and my kids aren't going over there alone not just because of that because of 15 years of disrespecting me as the mom and doing whatever she wanted including things that effected my children's health. My kids haven't been over there and won't be alone with her ever again. We got through 2 of my kids birthdays and she just calls and guilt trips my husband for not being invited. She hasn't even apologized and has spoke badly and lied to my husband's family about me. These narcissistic grandparents will try to turn your kids against you if you allow them to have much contact with them. If your empathetic like me it will be very hard to stand your ground and use your voice but it's for your kids. Sorry for the long post I could go on and on about all the things I have endured so I am so sorry you are dealing with this.
@katkyle71 I'm sorry you had to deal with that and having your family go over there around the holidays without you. I was so fed up I told my husband if I have to split the holidays with them like a divorce situation then we may as well be divorced! She insisted on us celebrating every holiday on the actual holiday with her wouldn't budge so that we could start our own traditions. When you always insist on your way and only care about yourself people tend to pull back!
@@67Impala18She watched the kids while you worked. Ugh. Then, you were in a position to be thanking her and leaving the children with her. It’s in the past. I know it’s hard for you, I’ve been there. The oldest girl in family I know had to chauffeur her around and always help her. This grown girl now lady, spent her entire life as a codependent. I certainly couldn’t verbalize this, I know how this family works. I’d be the mean one. Just a shame of the years of angst we had to go through. These narcissists are the mentally ill ones. That they can easily scream at family or ignore them for hours, days or feel sorry for themselves and lack compassion for the ones they tried to belittle is beyond comprehension. When she passed, it was a blessing. Not one of my 3 young children, shed a tear. They do not bring her up in conversation.
Yeah, if you don't agree with them , you're accused of having attacked them. Always the victim 😮no compassion,c empathy, accountability,condescending,liar..Based in insecurity, when they show their true colors, believe that's the real person.. no you cannot fix them.. Twenty years walking on eggshells..
@@OphiuchiChannel Covert narcists don't always yell. The regular kind do like to yell at the people closest to them. The closer you are to them, the more abuse you get from them.
The life of a narcicist is a lonely life. My ex husband is such. I was his last, nearly 20 years ago, he often is found crying about how lonely he is, but refuses to accept that NO ONE likes being berated, belittled, diminished, and made to feel dark inside every time ur in their presence. News flash! He damn near destroyed me, i got out and suddenly my self esteem, power, strength and everything he stomped on came right back. These people destroy others because they only feel good doing that, get away, they serve no other purpose
1 Would you like to know my opinion about it? 2 Stop telling them your victories. 3 Stand your ground, don't allow them to blame you or others for their negative actions. 4 Is their advice actually helpful? 5 Avoid them if their energy continues to drain you.
All true. I had a narc tell me they didn't like me, several times, to get some negative reaction from me. I said 'that's alright, you don't have to like me!' and it took the wind right out of their sails. In fact they complained later to others that I 'didn't even care when they told me they didn't like me...and I didn't even want to know why they didn't like me!'. HAHAHAHAHA What a little trap to fall into that would have been eh. A total control and manipulation trap.
Yes, absolutely YES. I had a traumatic brain injury last March and nearly died. I was in a coma and in a brain trauma unit for six weeks. After months of rehabilitation I agreed to meet an old work colleague for a coffee and a catch up. I came away totally drained and deflated because she failed to ask me how I was and totally disregarded my accident and the fact that I was lucky to be alive. I haven’t made plans to meet up with her since 😥
That is deeply sad , sorry about your accident . Try hyperbaric oxygen therapy . It has helped my tbi greatly . Sounds like you have made amazing progress .
1 - 00:54 they dominate conversations 2 - 1:57 you hesitate to share good or bad news with them 3 - 2:31 they can't handle criticism 4 - 3:15 they will start giving you advice you never asked for 5 - 4:02 they radiate fakeness
Thank you for your excellent organization ! I wish all comenters / pod casts would format their comments with the time stamp. Then I could go directly to exactly what I want to hear/read and not waste time forwarding rewinding what I am looking for. Kudos !
@@MaHa-jc4hr You're welcome and thank you for your kind comment. I'm like you - I want to be able to access the information I specifically want and not have to sit through an entire vid! Time is money as we all know! Let's make the most of it!
I spent 2yrs with a covert narcissist...my professional veteran trauma therapist for cptsd. Kept me in a constant state of crisis. I got away 13 months ago and only now regaining my psyche and realization of how incredibly dangerous a covert narcissist can be.
@@stevensawyer5924 My mother covert NPD was (is-for me was) humble a doctor neurologist. Mother Theresa. The thing you can notice is low energy levels, pessimism, selfdevaluation, manipulativeness etc.
My sister literally judged .e on how I reacted to our nephews death, the very day he died..."she said, "I can't believe how you reacted, I din't even think you were that close to him". Unreal!
It quickly becomes apparent that they haven't listened to a word you've said. When you try to provide input they talk over the top of you and won't let you have your say. Good video.
Had a couple "friends" like that; decided to end contact and they didn't understand why. Didn't bother responding because the conversation would have been turned on me being the "bad guy".
This is so true! Every narcissist that eventually revealed themselves, ALWAYS dominated the conversation and would not let me speak and if they did it was only for a second and then ran right over me. They turned out to be evil people.
Every single one of these 5 aforementioned traits is present in my husband. This video validates my decision to leave my narcissist husband almost a year ago. We have two children together but after 17 years of his toxic treatment, I knew I had to leave and find my peace. A few weeks ago, over the phone he told me that I was “a failure at life” and every thing he mentioned about my “failures” were things that he had done a well, so. Years ago I had stop telling him anything about my good news or bad news because either way a got a lecture on how wrong I was. I’m healing but it’s still difficult because of the children we still co-parent.
Oh man I hear ya my 43 yr old daughter left her hubby 2 yrs ago she has 2 kids 6 and 4 soooooo hard he’s a malignant narcissist is being evicted as I type this he gave her nothing but heartache in her 7 yrs of marriage wasn’t even able to get her preg on his own I know it sounds mean to say but I’ll never got I’ve him for what he did to my daughter and grandkids he thinks he’s above the law God help us she goes to court 28th for child support
EVERY family gathering I’m exhausted. I try to limit the visit to an hour or less so the next day I can be productive. 😂 I don’t think any of them know a single thing about me. I go and they only every talk about themselves and I politely listen and ask questions. I’m ready to share about my life but they never ask or seem interested, then it’s time to leave.
I was a friend to a narcissist and genuinely wanted the best for her and told her that. She is incredibly toxic and self-centered. She makes EVERYTHING about her ALL the time with ZERO interest in anything about me. I told her it’s always about her. There is no dialogue with her. Everything is her monologue. She used me until something better came along. The most toxic and venomous person I’ve ever known.
I call the narcissist in my life the 'Close the Door' Nazi. Her seeming obsession is that doors inside the house must be closed at all times, 'to prevent cold from one room getting into the other'. Going through a doorway is the most routine thing anyone can do. If the door is closed, the person must open it to proceed; the closed door is the prompt to do this. Once through the doorway, there is nothing to prompt the person to turn and shut the door behind him, so he must think of it every single time if he is to do it. I often shut the door, but at other times, forget to. She attacks me for this, and no amount of explaining the above makes any difference. She says, 'You MUST think of it! I say, 'But if I don't, it can't be done', and she says, 'But you must!' Her behavior on August 17, 2023, was the worst I have ever seen. She was incredibly nasty and abusive, and we clashed heatedly, repeatedly. At one point, after I came through the door and forgot to close it, she screamed, 'Close the door', and the hatred in her eyes and the venom in her voice was sickening to behold. Shortly after this, she attacked me and I had to repel her jostling. When our daughter came home, her mother claimed I had attacked her. Our daughter shouted at her, 'That would be completely contrary to the dynamic I have witnessed in this house MY WHOLE LIFE!' She is impartial, but the situation is stressful for her. Shortly after this, she was admitted to the funny farm, a psychiatric hospital, for a couple of weeks. She has manic depressive disorder, together with more psychological disorders than you could poke a stick at, as well as narcissism. A very toxic individual indeed. Those two weeks were almost heaven for our daughter and I.
@@saveyourbacon6164 Document everything. Find a way to get out, and take your daughter with you. Will she make as difficult as possible? Yes, but your freedom in the end, and more importantly the ability for your child to finish growing up in a non-toxic environment, will be the best thing you as her sane parent can do for her. If you don't you'll always regret it, because she'll never change. Ever.
I had a narc bully at a job. She told me, she was trying to get me fired. I told her great! I can get unemployment and you can have my job! ( she hated my job). Yeah. Unfortunately she never accomplished her goal. 🤣😅
My 93 year old narcissistic mother will actually raise her hand and start interrupting others even though prior to that she was doing most of the talking. It’s infuriating and I can hardly stand to be around her. Any more, I give her blank stares when she says something insulting. Unfortunately I am her driver and get her groceries. She’s not very grateful and complains that I get things wrong all the time with her grocery order. When she does thank me, it’s phony and manipulative. She had a friend who got her a shirt that said, “It’s All About Me” and she didn’t get it.😮
They never talk with You they Only Talk 2 You. You can talk too one for a year and still haven’t ever got anywhere far as Sharing anything that’s from the Heart. They approached You initially and Took Control and Narrative and Keep that Going. They literally want you to Shhh stand there and just take the lies and beat down they are doing to your Life. If the are asking you anything personal? It’s too gain something they can us against you.
In the beginning, my nex would listen to me for ages, but past the love bombing you totally nailed it - they're not listening, they're just waiting for their turn to talk - or not even wait. This video is totally spot on.
They will twist the conversation about a neighbor’s sick dog into unrelated details about their sick cat from years ago. I say yes poor kitty, but I am talking about this dog right now… it just doesn’t register. typical.
It's so true. You can't even get one sentence into a conversation without them immediately making it about them. Every single time. I was at a skating event with my narcissistic "friend" once. A girl fell on her butt and broke her phone which was in her back pocket. After talking to the girl about her fall to see if she was ok, I mentioned it to the narcissist and as soon as I said "That poor girl, she broke her phone, now she has to leave" the narc goes off with "Why is she leaving? I wouldn't leave. I don't care about phones. I have spare phones at home. I'd just wait 'til I got home and switch my sim card!". In my head I'm thinking "WTF is wrong with you? Maybe her circumstances are different than yours. Maybe she doesn't have any spare phones. Maybe she has plans later and needs to communicate. Maybe she's on call at work. How the hell did you immediately make that girl breaking her phone about you? And why are you using that as an opportunity to assert how superior you are to her? Can't you just feel sorry for someone who just broke her phone?" These people have absolutely no capacity to understand that other people have different circumstances, different needs and different concerns than them. Anything anyone does differently than they would is automatically wrong, and an opportunity to assert their own superiority. It's bizarre and frankly scary how utterly devoid of empathy they are. They are monsters. And now this narc is trying (quite successfully) to destroy my life because I finally called her out.
the person was merely offering their personal input. people often comment on things they see. you need to get over it. it wasnt intrusive at all. sure you didnt ask for it but do you always wait to be asked before you open your mouth? no. did either one of you go check if she was ok and pat her on the back? no.
This is most spot on &clearly spoken truth, than any other person I've watched. They do NOT care about our stories, days, lives, etc. At all. It's actually amazing. The Masters are the ones that don't interrupt you, they let you speak for absolutely no reason. At least the ones that cut you off are saving your breath & letting you know who & what they are
The best way to find out how narcissistic a person might be is to simply ask them one question, but understand the answer first. Q: on a scale of 1 to 10, considering that 8, 9 and 10 is deemed a personality disorder, where do you think you fit on that scale? If they answer 1 or 2, RUN. There are many contradictions in narcissistic personalities, the greatest is, a narcissist has a belief that they are the most important perfect person, yet lack any personal awareness. In short, they firmly believe that everyone else is narcissistic, and they are not, hence the denial. The ONLY way to win any games played by a narcissist is to NOT PLAY. Take care all 🙏🙏🙏
Mine too. I've lived and put up with him for 40 yrs. He gradually got worse after we were married. But I do feel sorry for him as he suffers from many health issues, and his life is a living hell. Hemophiliac with numerous arthritic joint pain due to excessive bleeding episodes left untreated, emphysema, 2 rotor cuff injuries that swelled due to internal bleeding, extreme itchy skin all over his body that makes him want to tear his skin off, prostate cancer that he'll need an operation to have it removed (may not survive the op)
I look back to my narcissistic ex of now 30 years ago (full blown NPD in my opinion) and her fakeness, her affected voice or baby voice, and the fake bubbly happy persona, and at how i just didn't see it, but how obvious it is to me now. One thing you also mentioned was the feeling of something being 'off', 'not right', and that's one of the things i was aware of at the time ... trouble is i didn't know what narcissism was and had never encountered such a person before. One thing i'll say is that if something feels 'off', just trust it, and if someone is affecting a voice in any form, even if it seems playful or obvious, just know that they are doing it for a reason. If you value truth and reality it'll be a turn off. Just trust your instinct. We all it seems learn by our mistakes, but once you know, ... you know. Don't get fooled again and don't downplay your own intuition. - You are wiser than you think you are. I like to take people at face value but if you suspect something, watch and listen for confirmation.
You are SO right, I just said something like this in another comment section the other day, and we need to teach our kids to be aware of this - we teach them that it's not nice if they say "I don't like him or her, but the thing is, that kids goes with their instincts and parents, teachers etc., are so ignorant, that we tell our kids to suppress their instincts - it save lives in many situations, if anything we need to encourage our kids to use their instincts more, especially in this crazy world we're living in
Totally agree I was married for 12 years ....3 kids...I asked for a divorce...only after the divorce did I learn that I was married to a narcassist...they're crazy...everything is about them...their superiority their needs....we have to teach our kids ...its a life saving education they need.
These narcs are so repulsive that there’s no word which would classify them appropriately. As you’ve pointed out they want to be the centre of attention; no other person is entitled to a minimum of dialogue or acknowledgment! When they’re are unwell, no one has ever had such a terrible cold or fever or infection!! They believe that they are superior beings!! They suck the life and joy out of you mainly because: you are insignificant! They’re the best!! It’s disheartening, revolting and sad the behaviour of these carbon units!!
I Am a narcissist that is actively trying to change for the better and watching these vids is kind of hurting because it makes you realize how much of an asshole you are 🤣 But it is soo helpful because it highlights the aspects of my personality that I need to change, thank you
Youre still trying to minimizing it by making it seem like it's funny... You gotta deal with the pain in a real way, like the people you hurt, or your efforts definitely won't work.
Did…did you just say you’re a narcissist and that these videos "hurt"? 😂😂😂 Riight! I hope these bread crumb comment responses gave you the supply you were looking for. I feel no pity for you at all!!! FFS you guys never STOP!!!🙄🤦🏻♀️
Hi dear. Your self awareness and efforts are wonderful. You are a narcissist not by choice. So please learn to forgive yourself for your past mistakes and do good in the future ❤.
My partner passed away and an old friend reached out to offer support but when I responded, she immediately told me how great her and her husband were doing and how their counseling was going, and then accused me of being distant, which reminded me immediately of why I had to cut this friend off. She’s supposedly a “grief counselor”. If the conversation isn’t 100% about her, she has to turn it around and make it about her and it’s exhausting especially when I was really dealing with the unexpected loss of my partner.
Interesting you said that my family member is a therapist and I know she did some grief counselling workshop, when I heard this I couldn’t believe it bc she is the nastiest narcissist you’d ever meet and she treats her family like crap. Just like our mum they are always talking about themselves, pure narcissists the pair of them. So the thought of her guiding someone through loss when she doesn’t give a crap about anyone made my skin crawl. Clearly narcissists do all jobs eh
You can’t cut off your own daughter who is struggling with mental health issues. I’m wondering if she’s a covert narcissist. Every encounter with her I’m walking on eggshells. She is a constant victim. I come away from her feeling awful every time. She puts me down, then says stop being so sensitive, or grow up Mum. I’ve never had such problems with any other person in my whole life, & get on very well with her two siblings. The whole family has issues with her. I get anxious just thinking about visiting her, but do it because I’m her Mum, & love her. Or maybe I just love who I thought she was. I try & love her unconditionally, but she shatters my nerves. Help!
My only child (daughter) is a covert narcissist. She checks every box. She recently discarded me permanently from her life. The healing is so slow. I’m better off without the constant mind games and abuse, but incredibly sad about losing my only child. It feels like a death except I can’t cry. I’m totally numb. Enjoy your other children and let the narcissist go by grey rocking. She’ll eventually discard you. It’s inevitable. There’s absolutely nothing you can do to help them. I pray every day for her healing. 2 Timothy 3:2-5 KJV describes a narcissist and at the end of the verse it says “from such turn away.”
Excellent video. Your points are very valid. Toxic individuals have a pattern of speech and use certain words in certain orders, which differ from the “normal” patterns. They also use certain phrases. It doesn’t matter where in the world these toxic types are, they all behave very similarly.
You make a good point - it makes me think that a lot of the "driven" "big money" people that were raised that way like my brothers and I were has a lot to do with that. I am glad I never fell into that trap. I can't stand fake people and I can't stand folks thinking they are soo successful. I do okay for my wife and kids and that's all that matters.
@@sherbert1973 All narcissists will eventually say, “I never said that” if you confront them with an uncomfortable truth. It blows my mind that they’re so alike. There are other phrases like “I was just joking” or “you’re too sensitive.”
Excellent, succinct, to the point. Thank you for distilling an enormous amount of information about narcissists into an informative short video. You are a very good communicator.
A narcissist who was once a friend of mine used to run down my friends and their partners. She didn’t want me to have any other friends. I dumped her 12 years ago and never want to see her or speak to her again.
I just love saying to these people when they interrupt me...If your story is more interesting than mine...carry on, but if it isn't..I will be interrupting YOU ALL THE TIME ! ......in every single sentence. They normally STFU. Dr Jordan Peterson has said. "Dont talk to people who don't want to listen". Wise words indeed.
Also, inevitably there will be a passive aggressive dig at you. It’s so subtle you are confused. But then it sinks in. I waited for my narc to do this one time and when they did I said ‘and there it is’ and they behaved so wounded. Caught out mate!
I said to my narc mother in law 'there's the jab', and she got all mad. She firmly said 'That's my opinion'. I try to stay away from her as much as I can, and our relationship seems better.
My ex narc never listened when I spoke and it always baffled me. He would either talk over the top of me or phase out when I was speaking. It was exhausting. Before I knew what a narc was, I would stop talking when he started talking over the top of me. A lot of the time he would acknowledge that I stopped talking and wanted to hear what I had to say. I used to tell him, very nonchalantly, "well if you're so rude and insecure that you're talking over the top of me, you don't deserve to hear what I have to say", and then I would ignore him. He didn't like that at all but I didn't care. After a few dozen times of him pulling that nonsense on me, I stopped telling him anything about anything and I would just sit there and enjoy whatever surroundings we were in. It was unnerving to him that I would ignore him when he was speaking. I looked like I didn't have a care in the world and that he was irrelevant. It didn't change his behaviour but it made me feel more peaceful about being around him. Now that I've blocked everywhere and gone no contact my life has improved immeasurably. I will probably have to see him at some point due to circumstances I can't control. But now that my boundaries are fully and firmly up and active, he doesn't have a chance of besting me. I can just walk away and go silent again until I decide when and where he can have contact with me. It's nice to finally have the upper had both emotionally and physically.
I used to know someone who would call me every day just to complain. Every single conversation was them ranting about something that happened at work, or something someone said, or just random things that would piss them off. They were only interested in what I had to say when something bad was happening in my life, then instead of being supportive, they would turn the conversation back around to them and how mad or upset it made them, no concern for how I was doing. Then they would hit me with the "advice", which was usually something that would just make things worse for me. There was also this pressure, they would twist things and make it sound like if I didn't take their advice and do as they said it would lead to a major catastrophe. Any time I would be the one calling them, they would pick up the phone and ask what was going on all excited, like they wanted something bad to be happening. Then if I told them I'd just called to chat or it wasn't some kind of crisis they actually sounded disappointed and bored after that. Then if I ever had anything positive I wanted to talk about or something I had accomplished, they were completely uninterested and would say something negative about it or change the subject. Last conversation I had with them, they had gotten mad that I had started working out. They started accusing me of everything under the sun and acting like it would lead to all of these horrible things happening. It was actually insane. I didn't fall into the trap of defending myself, instead I kept asking them why they believed the things they were saying and they could never give me a straight answer. Every question I asked was just met with another accusation or them literally just repeating themselves. Eventually they started threatening me and that's when I was done. Blocked on everything and not going back. I always knew something was off about them, but I kept giving them the benefit of the doubt because they had me convinced for a long time that they were just this pitiful person who was always the victim. I'm glad they finally showed me their true colors. I just wish I would have trusted my gut and not given them so much of my time and energy, but hey, lesson learned!
I'm elderly now and throughout my entire life I had to deal with 1 narcissists after another, husbands, family members, best friends, and people out in society. It only added to my unhappiness and depression.
Not all narcissists dominate conversations. Covert narcissists are the most insidious - they keep their superiority hidden. But if you pay attention to their actions, you’ll see that everything is transactional.
I am always curious about occupations. Thus I will ask an individual about their duties. I do this to learn since I am very interested in subjects I know little about. At a social gathering I met a pompous young man who described himself as a banking executive. My curiosity aroused, I asked him about his specific duties. He hesitated and thought, he then forcibly responded: "I go into a bank branch. I look around to see what they are doing wrong and then I tell them what to do." Since he could not be specific I knew he was full of caca.
Met up with a woman for a date. I was talking to her and boy could she talk. And not only that, I would catch her in lies, meaning what she would talk about, did not line up with her actions. It was very odd, and my body picked up on it. Later she mentioned multiple people being jealous of her, after I heard all of her, i was like yep, we’re done here lol
If you grew up with narcissists in your immediate family, you have to exhaustively question yourself and retrain yourself, ask for input and do self-work because that toxic family system definitely trained you/was your only frame of reference for the formative years! It's great to get free but a lot of ongoing work!
All of this is true, I would add one more thing to this, the narcissist repeats what you said as though they were the ones who said it and you did not. They have to be the one with the idea that sounded good. If they admit you had a good idea then in their mind, you are elevated above them, they never give credit to the one with the original idea. The narcissists even gives bad advice hoping you will fail. Everything about the narcissist is fake, they cannot be trusted in anything.
It's amazing this video came into my feed. My father and older brother (and my mom somewhat too) are such Narcissists. I have to say that I think that I have handled them well over the years in doing some of the actions you state here. It will never get fixed totally, but I think they are starting to identify it a bit. My younger brother has never been like they are even though he is way way more accomplished but he is a down to earth person and listener. Great video.
My parents were both narcissists , but when I was growing up I never realized it and adopted their traits also and as years went by thinking I wonder why people don't seem to like me? I wonder why I have trouble making or keeping friends? If somebody tried to point my flaws out I would get mad about it , I don't have character flaws! I am a supervisor at my place of work and always thought I was well liked by everybody I work with, but later found I wasn't, one day I was talking to a couple of guys I work with and I don't remember what the topic of conversation was but one of them said Yeah, its like everything is about You! he wasn't angry but pointing out my attitude about everything at work, Then the others chimed in Yeah, you never ask anybody else opinions and talk over everybody else, then another person said something and it was like they were holding back what they actually thought for a long time and finally said it, It was like a big wake up call to me and I thought about what everybody said and began to reflect on myself, Maybe I'm the problem! Maybe my mother was wrong and I'm not special and smarter than everybody else! I must have hurt people without realizing it , But Now I know I'm a narcissist and have to work on being a better person
Of course we all are hugely influenced by those close to us. Just by your comment you sound very sensitive to others. Each one of us can benefit by cultivating a little humility!
I've worked for a couple, I decided the best way to engage with them was not to do so any more than was essential, when I had to go to 121 meetings I'd minimise participation and offer as little as possible that gives them anything to expand on or tell me their opinion. The plan was always to get away from them as quickly as possible. Ultimately to leave when there was no sign they were going to any time soon. Know your own value and take that value elsewhere was my thought process for working for narcissists in the end.
My former in-laws (yes, both of them) to a "T." I wish I had this advice years ago. It got to a point where I literally couldn't talk to them, I just stayed silent. And I also got to a point where I got real anxiety when I was invited over to their house.
