5 purchases I regret buying - purchases I'm decluttering 

My regret pieces often end up in my sewing pile. I will modify them to use. I will test ideas with them. I will salvage fabric to use in other items. For example, I had a silk shirt that no longer fit and had a stain. I salvaged the sleeves to extend the pockets in a pair of trousers that fit well but had short pockets. Now I have my nice deep pockets with a perfect fabric in pants that fit and look good.

Finding the perfect bag is a long journey, didn’t find it yet. Same for the boyfriend! 😂❤

I feel like #5 is so crucial. I do this to myself so much. I talk myself out of buying what I really wanted or settle for something else only to hate the alternative, and end up decluttering/reselling the alternative and buying the item I actually wanted to begin with.

I love the advice of getting the actual thing you want, not dancing around it with "almost" items. Similar to when you are craving something to eat but you don't have it to hand so you try eating other things but they just don't satisfy! Also, can you elaborate more on the "vibe" of the blue men's sweater? You described the vibe you were looking for (your 3 words) but didn't say how the sweater didn't meet that or couldn't be styled to meet that? Love your videos.

I learned a hard lesson years ago when my Mom passed away. Don’t wear your favorite outfit to the funeral. I had no idea that I would be so strongly affected. It was an expensive outfit for me, at that time. I’d worn it many times. I couldn’t bear to look at it after that and I never wore it again. It was kept it in the closet too long because I was loathe to get rid of it. Finally I did. Lesson learned! The next time I had to attend such a thing, for someone who meant a lot to me, I purchased an inexpensive (but nice)dress, that I had no regrets donating immediately afterwards. For some odd reason wearing the jewelry/accessories wasn’t an issue. Just the clothes.

I agree with the concept that we buy things because it's an 'essential.'. Well, my essential may not be essential for you. Hence, the button down I never wear.

Here for these tips … staying for the tea😂. Alyssa is dropping gems lately and I’m 👏🏽here 👏🏽for👏🏽 it 👏🏽.

Big help. I am watching thinking, mmmmm, ok the black dress can go, 2 bags can go some more shoes. These items will be in my to go basket today. I've already done some downsizing. Still plenty to go. I'll watch this video daily. Moral support 🎉🎉

Duplicates of something I love in a different color (even a color in my palette!) often end up unworn because one was enough to add variety and interest to my wardrobe but 3 make other outfits feel too similar. I'm usually pretty good about this now but every once in a while it comes back around to haunt me 😂 Thanks for this video, it's helping me pass on a few things I *should* love but just don't wear even though they're so great and funky or seem like me on paper but not me IRL.

The point about feeling like we need one of every item we see in the various capsule wardrobe videos really resonated with me. I felt like I had to check every box, whether it was a piece I would normally wear or not (looking at you, white button-up). You're so right - we DON'T need every piece of clothing that's suggested to us by all the influencers! Thanks for this great video and your common sense approach! ❤

omg, your comment about the impact of all those lists of "must have" pieces really resonated with me. The huge caveat is that "must haves" are completely dependent on your unique scenario: your lifestyle, your height/colouring/silhouette etc. If something on someone else's list doesn't suit *you* it's ok to skip it. I'd have saved myself a lot of money and a lot of time wasted on feeling bad about how I looked in the oversized blazer, stiff button-down, wide-legged crops, camel-coloured anything if I'd figured this out sooner haha. Lessons learned.....

10:50 - I totally get you, "but" i find i wait and wait and wait for that "perfect" item, meanwhile i don't have a good option. I "have" to buy "just for now" clothing (the best i can find, so i can wear them as long as possible; i have things for 10 years or longer!) but I am so picky, i can't find what i need in a reasonable amount of time, I give up, I make do. I "make do" most of the time, because I am 60 and the cost of things is HIGH (in my mind). I would love that puzzle bag... 😆 Thanks for the fun video! Have a good week!

I agree with your statement Alyssa regarding a capsule wardrobe. I have certain pieces that I select to wear summer or winter (really only have two season where I live). But I dislike the rigid concept of 'you must have this in your capsule' which only makes me feel like a failure in the fashion stakes. I don't wear some items that are commonly considered essential. So I greatly appreciated your statement. Thank you ❤

Hi Alyssa, yes, your cobbler will be able to cut off the OTK part of the leather and turn them into knee-high boots. I recently had my cobbler do this to a pair of OTK boots I have and I love them on me much better!

So comforting that even Alyssa makes mistakes. I wish I had figured this all out 20 years ago. It took me > 60 years to recognize that I am an impulsive shopper. Thank you for your clarity.

Brilliant video. “Do we all need a cowboy boot? Really?” You nailed it right there Alyssa. This was so good. Thank you! 🙏

Yes. I have a light blue striped cardigan that I purchased last year. I wore it once. I keep trying it on, but I just don't feel a joyful connection in it. It is very well-made, but I discovered over the year that thick stripes are not suitable for me in addition to the color just not being right. I am learning. Thanks for this video.

If I had a dollar for every time I have tried to buy less expensive substitutes of expensive shoes and bags I am craving, only to be unsatisfied or disappointed, I’d be able to afford the original item!

1000% yes to waiting and saving for the item you want instead of settling!! I fell in love with a men’s Burberry peacoat (secondhand) and had sticker shock so bought all these other “almost like it” pieces when I could have just bought the thing. Fortunately, it was available several months later, and I bought it! But, man that was an expensive lesson and used up my entire clothing budget for the year.

I went into competitive buying... I saw your gorgeous Sezane sage Cardi (my favourite colour, my birthday gift, etc.). I didn't pay attention to the fabric, itchy, allergy alert! I returned it, $170+ refunded, and got a soft used Old Navy Cardi in a similar colour from Value Village for $5!!!

I so enjoyed this video! I love how passionate you are and not afraid to say what you really think. It felt like having a conversation with a really good friend! Thank you 🙏

Am I the only one who wants to see you know the jumpsuit? Also, that Puzzle😍!!!! (I thought you had a navy one?😉) Thanks for another terrific video!

I've never thought of competitive consumption. Interesting.

Thanks always for the inspiration each week - love hearing you remind us that holding out for what we truly want is a more responsible and much more satisfying move!

Everything you said resonates with me ❤ Especially the advice of learning the lessons and not feeling regret. I try to reflect on absolutely every piece of clothes I don't wear to learn: why? what's wrong? But learning is always a cost. And to minimalize the cost of learning I buy second hand clothes. And I sell what I don't wear. That way I've learned to select what I like and to be a little bit picky and selective.

I’m very glad we don’t need cowboy boots, as I missed that memo!

I feel like taking a step back and thinking critically about the style vibe of a piece of clothing is the hardest for me. I'll be able to think of tons of outfits and ways to style it, but when I imagine seeing myself as a stranger on the street the vibe is not really me.

Great lessons, thank you so much! I agree the most on the famous lists of garments everyone should own. I was on the hunt for the one perfect pair of jeans until I realised I don't like jeans at all. Have not owned a pair the last 15 years so why now? And no to dupes or substitutes in garments, make-up or even furniture. Save up, search second hand ... and get the real deal. Dupes are the most expensive decisions one can make.

Thanks for attention to ethics in fashion. Appreciate you caring about waste & the Earth. That fashion & environmental stewardship are compatible.

This is so interesting… I have had similar thoughts and feelings about purchases about certain past items. But I don’t know that, if I went back in time knowing what I do now, whether I would choose differently. Sometimes you’re purchasing wisdom or clarity, in the form of a wardrobe item. Your Loewe placeholders, for example, gave you the wisdom and clarity to understand what you want in a bag, and that the Loewe would be a smart purchase.

Great video. I've made this mistake with blazers and a top handle alma bb knowing I prefer a crossbody bag but my western boots I wear daily ! 😅

Yes about "must haves"! The trench coat is my temptation but I live in New Mexico and am in jeans about 363 days a year. And most days there is not even a chance of a rain shower. And I look much better in cropped jackets than in coats and dresses. And I work in construction management where even business casual can look way too dressy. And it is very windy here and a trench coat is far too flappy and complicated.

I get lots of handme downs, I always accept them because I don't want to offend the donor. Some have turned out great in my wardrobe, but many haven't and they stop me from buying what I really want.

My lesson…. I shouldn’t buy items that don’t fit MY body perfectly. Falling for an item that doesn’t fit perfectly means that I won’t reach for it when getting dressed and thus waste the money. It’s difficult leaving behind something cute in the store, but it’s for the best.

buying substitutes instead of what you really want is an often repeated mistake ! I really wanted a Burberry trench coat but boy they are expensive exp with 13% in Ontario ( :) ) But I caved in on my 30th b day and got one, been 10 yrs and still get compliments on the coat while grocery shopping, waiting in doctor's office, condo elevators! you name it! :) best buy ever.

At 70 yo I now only buy things that I really love and not because it's there or on sale or someone else has it or I need that 'buy it fix' - or whatever excuse/reason there could be (and there are many). I've been waiting for a couple of years for a good trench coat to go on sale and have refused to buy one just to have it. One of these days . . . Great video!

On the topic of bags, did you end up keeping or ditching your convertable backpack / tote bag? Seems like it would be equally as diverse as the puzzle but still serve a different purpose. But is it a purpose you kind you need or want?

Ummmmm those cowboy boots are SICKENING love 😍😍😍😍

I loved this video, especially the part about saving up for the things we really want and the "you must have this in your capsule wardrobe" thing. I have struggled with the "crisp white button up shirt" for years (I'm 61). Sometime in the 80s, before we even had cell phones, I bought the perfect white shirt in a sale in Bloomingdale's in NYC. I was a student on a very strict budget and I knew almost nothing about fashion or designers but this shirt spoke to me. It was by Agnes B., which I [much] later learned was a "brand." Anyway I wore it nearly to death but it held up well and it is STILL in my closet. I just decluttered at least FIVE "crisp white shirts" which I had accumulated over the years and that were truly awful. Finally, a few weeks ago, I googled "best white shirt" and I bought the top one. And you know what? I've worn it on repeat since I got it because it is, in fact, the best white shirt. I never wore the ones in my closet because they felt - and looked - terrible on (I have boobage). I absolutely think it is worth spending money on the basics I wear on repeat. The gorgeous dress my friend made for me for my son's wedding is still in my closet - but I'll never wear it again. That white shirt I can wear every week and it will be great for a long time to come. And I'm going to break out that sentimental value Agnes B. shirt and wear it very casually - like with shorts on the weekend - and enjoy it until it falls apart. It's "vintage." Edit: I just googled those Loewe Puzzle Bags. So glad I was sitting down!!

I feel #5. I wanted a grey blazer (because I saw a style influencer wearing one and it looked so amazing). I'm a almost exclusive second hand shopper so sometimes it's just what you happen upon or you really need to exercise patience. Well I found a vintage Levi Struess blazer; it wasn't a perfect fit and it wasn't wool like I was hoping for but it was pretty cool. So I bought it and wore it once. Now it was several months later that I found the dream blazer, good fit, and a cashmere/wool blend. So now I have the Levi blazer I have to take the time to try to sell, when I should have just waited for what I really wanted.

Style vibe…YES, so hard! I’m no longer permitting myself to buy anything J Crew 😂. Sporty preppy is just not me, even if it looks good. I think that’s a tough thing to figure out: just because something objectively looks good doesn’t mean it suits you.

Such a great video - you are always so practical and helpful. How we turn it around onto ourselves really resonated with me - thank you for bringing that to our attention!

YES! I agree with the "needing this particular item in my wardrobe". I still struggle with that and have recently bought items that I might now sell.

So true. I've bought many dupes/substitutes etc for things and just waste that money because I finally get the one I wanted in the first place. It's like eating - just have the chocolate. You know the apple slices won't satisfy, and you'll end up having it anyway!

Definitely, definitely don’t need cowboy boots in my life!

Love this video! I started a major journey to discover my style in the fall of 2020, and explored a lot of colourful items during that time as I was tired of all neutrals. I found some colours that I loved, which I am keeping, and tried some that I now rarely wear as they are “too much” for my classic style, and I am reinvigorating my neutrals! And a little tip, don’t come to Calgary in July during Stampede or you will wish you kept your cowboy boots😂!

Thank you for this video. I’m currently undergoing a deep dumpster dive on my spring/summer wardrobe and identifying items that truly resonate with me and my style. I’m trying to understand the logic behind bad purchases. This video is very helpful. Less is more!! ❤

Haha as soon as I saw the puzzle, I said "Annnnaaaaaaa" - the cost though, I literally cant 🥵 but it is so perfect

I've been saving for that same Loewe bag....I may just get in 2030 🤣

Wonderful video. So much wisdom. Thank you.

Great video! Great lessons! Ditch all of those items...except for the wool jumpsuit, which looks like it would be great on you!

I am 100% behind waiting and/or saving to get the item you actually want, instead of trying to find substitutes. Ten years ago I bought a preloved Hermes Kelly bag in black after trying out similar bags that didn't fit the bill. I still regret the money I spent on those "almost" bags. My black Kelly probably has a cost per wear of about $1.50 (granted, resale prices were much lower 10 years ago). I decided to get the same bag in a camel last year. I had to save a bit longer since prices have increased, but I'm glad I did. It may sound silly, but these bags give me joy every time I look at them. More importantly, they get used.

Thank you for your honesty. I learned the hard way about buying an article of clothing just because it is on sale, everybody is wearing it, or ads on social media have been convincing us (e.g., stylish shoes that are supposed to be comfortable). I grew up buying supposedly expensive clothes on sale to fit in at school. It took a long time to get rid of them when I realized they were out of style or no longer my style. I regret buying shoes, especially heels and ballet flats, that became social media-famous (e.g., Inez, Everlane, Margaux) but were uncomfortable or ill-fitting in real life.

When I buy something new I put it on a hanger and take it to the closet to see how it actually fits in. Then I try it on with various outfits. Next I hang it where I can see it for awhile, trying it on a few more times. I do all this with the tags still on. It helps me find what I call the 99%ers. Things that seem perfect until you have them awhile and notice what keeps them from being exactly right. 💕

Great episode! I hope you keep those patent boots because you are right - they would be so great just a little shorter!!! My questionable purchase is a red sari isn dress coat with a Peter Pan collar. Kinda 1960s but it feels like a coat for a big big big city. … like NY. I need to figure out how to wear it for a smaller big city. Maybe toss a vest over it… or wear it as a Xmas dress instead of as a coat. Great ideas to ponder!❤❤❤❤

I had a long leather trenchcoat once but a colleague said I looked like Darth vader in it. So I never wore it again.

I would love to see those patent boots after they are made over.

The handbag: I'm finally learning to look for the item that serves me best, save up for it or get notified when it goes on sale (or scan sales or places like Quince with high quality low price to see if something lookes like it). And at the same time, I am doing it better in my relationships. With the handbag and the partner. And friends

You hit the nail on the head!! I am guilty of buying on impulse. No patience here. I am on the road to do a lot better in my purchases. Thank you! ❤

Good perspectives on most of the reasons we make these mistakes - big or little. Thank you.

Another great video Alyssa! I don't usually comment, but you nailed so many things in this video and not just about our clothes, we can apply these lessons to every area of our lives. I love your videos and what you stand for.I look forward to continuing the slow fashion journey with you. PS I have learnt sooo much from your videos, changed my life in so many ways! Thank you!!

Love it! I also learnt of the Loewe Puzzle from the Anna Edit back in 2018, saved up & bought my bag online in a Selfridges sale 🎉 really enjoying your channel from Melbourne Australia 🇦🇺

So helpful. I love your perspective on regret. I feel the same way about not regretting things but I totally believe in learning, like you said.

I've learned that I'm never as happy with oversized tops as I am with how they look on models with strong shoulders, in both knits and wovens. I find myself wearing the tops where the shoulder seam sits at my natural shoulder. This is good for me to know for sewing patterns as well.

I am so happy, that I found you! I‘m from Germany - near the blackforest and 55 Years old - thanks youtube 😂 You‘re so great and now I must learn better english!

This is a great video Alyssa, I really enjoyed this topic. For me, I like the bucket bag style and have purchased multiple ones in the past 10 years and ended up selling one at a time and repurchasing another. At first I couldn’t figure out what it was, until I finally realized that I didn’t like the way it protrudes from my body and I like a bag that lays flat against my body. After understanding that, I don’t think I would buy a bucket bag any time soon. You said it perfectly, sometime you just don’t need certain item in your wardrobe. Have a great weekend!❤

Thank you Alyssa! I really needed this video, since these days I am really hating my wardrobe and thought more than once that was MY fault (MY body has changed, MY lifestyle has changed…). Probably it is simply the time that my wardrobe changes too, with no regrets!

Alyssa, That was the best video ever!!!! Thank you always for wonderful content!!

I really liked the exercice of explaining why you had made these purchases. It’s brilliant and deep

I have purchased as a result of friend envy (boho flowing dresses). Failed by buying too many, looking for my style, when it was not my style all along.

This is fortuitous! I bought a second hand shirt dress after being inspired by your videos. I wore it today and it’s just such stiff linen, it didn’t drape right and I felt odd all day. I now know that I can get rid of it with no qualms and give it to the charity shop!

Oh man, I love that you described a cowboy boot as being too enthusiastic-there was something satisfyingly poetic about that turn of phrase!

Love the Bag lesson, fully subscribe to this! ... And you got the second puzzle you wanted yay 🙂 (My bags are no more than ten in total ever, this includes a work bag, travel bag, backpack, clutch and a couple of across body's as well as my favorite bag of all time - my mulberry Daria which is now 8 years old). I'm fully on board with if you find the right bag you won't need more.... just need to stop buying clothes, stick to my three words and not get sucked in to pretty patterns or peer pressure.

Still looking for the perfect bag! I recently purchased a vintage Hermes silk scarf. I thought I always wanted one, it's on tons of people's bucket lists. It's beautiful, but I found out that I HATE wearing scarves! I tried it in my hair, on my bag, as a top....bugged me. I am selling it.

I have some over the knee boots in Black leather, I just fold the tops of mine inside so that I can wear them easily under my winter skirt. ( Less Bulky) But untucked with my leather trousers and pleat her leggings.

Congrats to the new puzzle! This hopefully will be with you forever. My 'regrets' include a trenchcoat - tried several times with different models, and it never fit my vibe or lifestyle quite right, even though for some years it hase been heralded as the 'must have' piece that suits everyone. I found I needed something that is actually waterproof, so now I have a black, long, belted raincoat for walking in the city, and when Im cycling I wear other, shorter jackets which dont get cqught in the wheels.

Furthering my style identity ......thankyou

I’ll take those cowboy boots. 😊

Lesson number FIVE! oh so relevant for me. Felt that direction lesson but had not received the confirmation. Thanks ALYSSA you nailed it again ❤️

OMG this was the video I realised this is not a Louis V(uitton) Puzzle bag :o

Hi Alyssa. I would love if you could ever give input on making slow fashion buying decisions when you are still figuring out your style and what looks good on you. I get major purchase regret because I think I’ll love something, save for it, and then, I just don’t love it. So then I feel paralyzed to buy anything at all. Help!

I luv how you remind us that our purchases shouldn't be regrets but learning lessons.

Thank you for this video! I agree with you about bags - the less the better. I've been wearing one leather bag in neutral color for almost 5 years. I do have some other bags (smaller, beach bag etc.) but that's the main one. 😊

OMG! Loved this video so on point with me… I am currently going through two walk in closets… of accumulated, just in case…I need wardrobe syndrome… and starting to make wiser, choices and I thank YOU, for insights and all you share… 😊

Love love love the new puzzle bag for you. To be honest I'm not crazy about the blue one with your wardrobe...I think you need a perfect black bag.

We definitely don’t all need a cowboy boot 😛 I wonder about the blue sweater… Have you tried the sweater/scarf, like draped over the shoulder? You have other blue items that look fabulous on you.

I get twisted into day dreaming about what my life will be like or being enticed and seduced by a particular aesthetic. I love Alyssa’s videos on that topic and how to figure out what is is actually calling to us and how to recreate it with what we already have. Hannah Poston here on the Tubes did a great video on how to assess lifestyle as well as one on the fantasy self, to also help align, in case the proportions of what you have are problematic.

Thanks

I hate cotton that does not shrink. I purchase a size up to shrink it. Hello Quince!

Number 4 struck a chord. For me it was brogue shoes. One pair is enough not four! Also I have too many bags. At moment resisting the urge to buy a gold leather bag 😃 Thank you xx

Great video. I will be able to more easily get rid of items I like but don’t wear. No regrets-it’s just not me at this time….those boots are great and you looked amazing in them, but I was sometimes overwhelmed by the shine. I hope you can get them reworked. The puzzle bag is out of my price range right now BUT if you EVER feel the need to part with the navy one, I’m your girl!!! I like to get the perfect bag and just wear it almost all the time. If it’s perfect, why mess with it!? I have a few bags for special occasions or to add a pop of color, but use the same one 90% of the time. I need to spend some time scouting second hand/thrift stores with a LIST 🙄😉

So what don't you not like about your cowboy inspired boots? LoL! Because they so versatile when it comes to even wearing them with shorts or miniskirts. That style of boot is like rocker chic. I don't really wear my cowboys boots too much during the warmer temp because it could be too hot with the leather and socks. It great to think of a new way to look at something that you have not been wearing.

I LOVE my Puzzle bag!

Really love your approach❤

Thank you, as always. You make me think, and I think of you when I am in my closet. 😂😂😁😁

So useful. Thanks Alyssa.

I have bought multiple slip dresses...they dont suit me well and i feel so uncomfortable in them...but doninstill buy one thinking maybe this will be the one...yup

Great video 👌

Great conversation!

Great video. Lots of shared fantastic wisdom. Thank you so much.