Only in situations where I share and the oppisite party instead of sharing do the oppisite. When they do that, I become openly hostile to everybody in the room who did not stick up for me when the hammer went down.
From my experience I'll say that it's not about are you too deep too soon, it's about the approach to this. We have that Fe empathetic side, but we also have our sigma that unbreakable, confident and logical side. If we approach people more from our sigma point of view we will think - fine, we interact well till now, but I also feel the possible friction is near by. It's no matter if it is because of me or not, at least I have to keep this insecurity hidden, the main think is that I still don't have enough point's to hold on to this person, or I will never have actually so he/she could pull up the breaks at any moment, but... I perfectly know how to deal with this, how to make this person opens up in a positive way towards me not by the intention of winning him, but just to avoid being judged or left alone because I'm not just too intense, I could control my intensity in a way that I can still be intense, but understood about it.
Q: Wenzes? Could you please do a series on MBTI basic terminology…. And put that in your playlist? Im totally lost as soon as “the 4 functions” are mentioned , or “Se” and “Fe” and “Ni”…. It sounds like juggling to me. I hope you get my drift. Maybe you could explain it as if you speak to a 10 year old to get it across? Im a slow starter (INFJ is my excuse) 😅 Thank you so much!!! 🌷🙏🏻🤩
As an INFJ, I was even told I'm too much because I'm too deep then the next thing is they'll avoid me. I'm used to it. That's why now, I have a problem of expressing myself more. Most of the time, I have emotional detachment and I can't properly release my feelings.
Most people panic when they realize I can see their truth. So often they begin to create a smear campaign to discredit me before I let their secrets out. At least that's the way they behave.
I usually hear I'm "intense". Not sure why. Just because I'm interested in understanding something doesn't mean I care much about it. There are few opinions I'm firm about, and fewer topics I'm zealous of. I may prefer depth of thought and authenticity; but, in my opinion, it's shallow-minded people who are mentally erratic and believe whatever their emotions tell them to that are "intense". They drain my energy and make my head hurt. It makes me wonder if they're sponsored by Tylenol. Lol
So true, some people do give me a headache after interacting with them. I've become much better at setting strong boundaries. The headache is our bodies' way of sending us a warning signal. We ignore it at our own detriment.
Great video! We are pre-disposed if not mature enough to fall under the trap of manipulators who can fake the connection and use our trusting nature against us. I have come to discover over the decades of obsessively trying to understand and interpret behaviors of my family, ex girlfriends and current or former friends. There is a common denominator. Authenticity, or authentic connections exist only among those capable of tapping into their creative energy. People who have passions in life. Most of my family, friends and exes, all shared the common trait of lacking passion and creativity, being manipulative and envious. Authentic connections are so rare and precious, I experience them fully with my pets.
Thanks for this. I recently had lunch with an old friend and this helps me feel better about not hearing from her again lol. I know I can be too much or too deep but Im ok with that, I look at it like most others are too shallow. I wish I could make a friend tho💁♀️
I feel stifled and inauthentic when I hold back what I really want to say. I feel exhausted when others express themselves fully from the conscious while I’m filtering my consciousness to hide my subconscious realizations. I’m too much for others but the feelings are likewise.
It's true that most people have some type of past trauma that makes them prefer an arms length distance. Even INFPs struggle with that reality. A lot of people struggle with having a fluid power dynamic because they grew up in an environment that had an unrelenting rigid power dynamic. Unfortunately for INFJs and INFPs rigidity is exhausting.
Excellent, as always, Wenzes! Thank you! For myself, I find SOME will assign dark motives to my posture, not even considering that there may be a positive nature in my ways. It strikes me that for a PORTION of such individuals, there MAY very well be a power reclamation taking place, which to me, sometimes, feels like SOME, may have a need to believe they are above me, and therefore MUST reestablish a false narrative, to maintain that belief within themselves. This is a red flag for me: I have better things to do, than to waste time with that kind of dynamic, at that particular point in THEIR developmental path. Thank you again, Wenzes, for your insightful guidance! Stay safe, and be well!
~ as a kid and into my late 20’s, I was ignorant of my Type, so I had felt “different; wondered, “what’s wrong with ME!?” It hurts to be rejected; & be dazed & confused because you don’t understand why. Most people can’t handle me, not boasting, just fact. Because I understand myself and my awesomeness now, lol. Peace, solitude, balance, self care & Wenzes’ multiverse level of INFJ knowledge ~ ~ shared so generously, so authentically, so positively impactful upon SO many lives❣️ “If I’m too much for you, go find less.” ~,Wenzes
I find just the opposite problem now: I tend to ghost ppl or have to tell them it just isn't working out when I notice they don't have the mental capacity and/or the emotional confidence to keep up with me. Recently I had to let a guitarist friend go because I saw that he didn't have enough confidence in himself and it was showing up in his guitar playing: he couldn't even play his own riffs consistently, so I had to cut him loose. I'm not fawning for their approval, I am auditioning them for my project or life. Still seeking awesomeness.
Discern when they are ready is best. Many are far from ready. Let them be in their own territory. Stay in your own lane. We try to help not hinder others. Love.... is being kind and informed. When they need help for real it will become real. Thank you for all the information. Sent from heaven to be a great guide. Appreciated! Much love....
I completely agree with Wenzes. One of my mantras is "Stop looking for depth in shallow people". Going deep with certain people is the equivalent of dragging a shallow swimmer and plunging them into the deep end of the psychological pool without warning. It scares and destabilizes them. I try to live by Psalms 42:7 which says "Deep calls to deep". Water finds its own level so I find my fellow deep sea dwellers who are hardwired for depth and we relate blissfully in the abyss 😊 I don't try to change anyone or 'see' their potential for depth. The deep sea dwellers in my life and I appreciate and value our depth and authenticity. The peace, harmony and absence of relational friction is so beautiful that I don't try it with shallower people; it just doesn't work. Embrace your deep nature and find your people ❤️
Wenzies, I was on the fence about the INFJ personality type (all the personalities to be fair) until discovering your presentations on the topic, which I now watch with a fervent glee. And it has occurred to me that exceeding the excellent content you present, which I find highly engrossing, it is your presentation style that has convinced me of its significance the most, which I attribute to being very similar to my own on topics I am inspired by. And moreover, regardless of how differently we may be beyond this subject, touching the manner in which you express yourself, you very much remind me of myself. Thank you for all of your videos, I very much appreciate them---especially once I reflected upon how much you must enjoy the act of their production.
By the 2nd conversation I will open your mind and talk about what I see. This makes people uncomfortable because even though people say they want to be known they didn't mean their crappy things. It's like walking into the bathroom while they're pinching a loaf. That's the majority. Keep your vocabulary below 14,000 words for those NPCs.
“They want to be known but not their crappy things” … you write. What makes you think you are in a position to tell others about their ‘crappy things’. It’s no surprise if anyone turns away after listening to unsolicited evaluations. I would too. There is a lot of worth in discretion and tactics. Regardless of being an INFJ or not.
@Spiegelvoorelkaar Being a past trainer and certifier of counselors is what I think puts me in that position. I do so to allow people to view their trauma from the present time and make new decisions about it. Are you hiding something that makes you revile my ability?
@alexadellastella5247 To consider superficiality as binary is superficial. I've spent over 8,000 hours over the past 12 years in memory tracing down to my birth. Verified the details with my mom. I've cross correlated conversations 20 years apart. With that memory I've beaten 2 players at once at blindfold chess. To me, y'all are superficial as F. I will only allow friendship with honest people who desire to grow. No pansies.
I have hilarious conversations with a goofy ESTP colleague. I am always deep, and he is so what is, we rarely see eye to eye. Thankfully I have learned how to be direct when I need to be so he can’t avoid the truth! Far as trauma goes, and self healing, better to do that on your own away from friends. Go to a progressional and journal (very important for the INFJ)
Great content as always. The increases in volume accompanying your closeups in this video was a little jarring. Otherwise, you've once again provided more insight into INFJs then I may ever obtain on my own.
Going deeper doesn't make me feel i have power over the other person. On the contrary I would like to find a person I can go deeper with without these power dynamics but just exchanging. There is not necessariluy always a power dynamic going on. I feel more at ease in deeper waters yes but not in power down there either since this is an endless questionning
Thank you for this, I agree with the bringing up their trauma, I sometimes feel like I walk around holding up a mirror to their subconscious…here, this is who you are, what you feel deep down underneath the surface. No wonder I don’t have many friends…🤔 😂
@@coffeeandcrime71 Thank you! My little brother is an Aquarius and I think you are right! He’s the only one I know though. Friendships are hard work I agree, I find it difficult to connect with people who live on the surface, even more so the older I get.
Just awesome! There's a flip side to #4. In just trying to make a connection, I've found myself in a relationship - even to the point of them moving in, before I realized what was going on. I've gotten a bit better at setting boundaries, lol.
Thank you Wenz… learned to smile Thank you Wenz… learned not to be bothered and happily smiling inside and move forward to enjoy life … and be me when i am in this situation. Thank uou again!
There is a person I became really close with. I tried to be slow and not overwhelm them or give away too much. We were talking about our weakness so I thought it was safe to ask "I notice that sometimes you will get an answer but ask periodically over and over. I asked why they do this? I wasn't judging them. I just wanted to understand. They laughed it off and called the tendency anxiety, but she and I both know her true reason and I bet the person reading this does too... either that or they are too stupid to understand. Either way, it was too much and they hate me now
Just Gotta Say that I LUV this hair style & length of all the previous videos, Great Color, Style & Length it's very flattering for your beautiful features 👍 SisStar
I think INFJs excel at anything they apply themselves to...in your perspective.. psychology. I am enamored by all of the scientific disciplines and wondered if the other INFJs were as well.
Thank you soul much for this ~ I'm an astrologer and was recently just reading about Pluto and how deep and penetrating it is ~ Highly recommend all INFJ's look at their pluto in their birth chart and see what's going on with it :) helped me so much
Y’all skip the the life’s meanings punch line with no grace or tact and then get annoyed people aren’t immediately there with you. Some people don’t have the range. Others think you are awkward and abrasive. Ever thought of that? That you don’t respect OTHER people’s triggers bc you literally only think about yourself first. That’s off putting!!!! You always want to talk about death and dying and misery. When is there enough sorrow to join in with you ? Spirals of darkness lead to death. The opposite is NOT true. Use your light for good and inspire people and don’t give up on them. That’s the difference between an INFJ and ENFJ. We believe people can be better.
Maybe the judgment part of us comes too much from ego, who wants a critical friend? So I’m curbing the judgment and going beyond logical left brain thinking , softening into the heart consciousness. Being an INFJ is too limiting a concept. Here comes the judge, here comes the judge , here comes the judge ! OMG there is a much larger untapped consciousness than sense testimony
This isn't applicable to the cognitive INFJ. Actual cognitive INFJs are primarily abstract rationalists with convergent Ni-Ti; their version of going deep is akin to a high need for cognition not some deep existential connection. Of course we all need connection & this applicable to all cognitive types. This should be labelled the ISFP epic life guide 😊. Respectfully you haven't stated what constitutes'going deep' you're looking at this from a very Fi-Ni perspective; that it's almost a given. It's not that other people don't but their perception of deep might be completely different to yours.
wenzess please answer this, I will ask you 5 things to test how high your mind is as an INFJ but before that I have to know first "do you believe in God or not?"
It’s the fact that you don’t pay attention to others and GUIDE them into your world, you FORCE it upon them without letting them think, like you want ppl to let you think when ppl ask you questions (which is just time for you to strategize bc you’ve never thought about it). Y’all lack the grace you think you have. That’s the difference between ENFJ and INFJ that’s why y’all envy us. We can get to the same point of depth without outcasting people
If I am to deep, you are to shallow. So stop pretending you are deep in your thoughts or emotions because you are not. My emotions and thoughts can go deeper than you can grasp and imagine. Including your stereotypical astrological thinking and analytical sign, such as Virgo, Libra, I have met. Make fun of astrology as you want, it is not that simple if you step into spirituality and this is I was allways inclined to. Anyway, they are women so this go also in equation. As INFJ man my emotions and thinking are deep, so I am blessed and cursed at same time, it depends how you look at it. Women being women, I see how shallow they are, no matter how smart, intelligent naturally they are or their college degree. As a matter of fact, higher education, the less they know and more manipulated by society and media they are capable. I have not met many women who can handle honesty and intensity in emotions of INFJ man and women are "emotional beings" right? Not. Show me woman poet with such intensity of emotions in poetry as Francesco Petrarca, Pablo Neruda, Solomon to name a few. There are, but not that many as men poets. I'm done with humans, I'm tired of dumbing myself down to fit myself, not that I am that smart like Dr. House. Tired of wannabe perfectionists, arrogance and so on. I see reality as it is, no sugar coating. I know about soul journey and 3D life as soul experience in human body. It sucks, but this is the best what higher self can experience in raw form outside of more sophisticated realms/dimensions.
This was an eye opener! When you mentioned authentic connections in reason #1, it explained a lot. For me, the matter of "authenticity" didn't always come up, but I knew I was doing something the other person didn't understand. This explains what it was (often still is). While I probably didn't at first understand about this "bringing up trauma," it made sense when you explained it. (#2). And I do realize that a lot of their reaction was exactly what you mentioned in #3 - the other person loses a sense of power when we go deep and they don't. I used to get puzzled over that response, but this explains it well. It also cleared up why I was misinterpreted (#4) namely, their mistaking us as desiring a relationship when we were actually striving for authenticity. No wonder we get exhausted! (#5).🥱. I certainly have, and now understand better why. I really appreciate this insightful video - it cleared a lot of things up for me.
