Welcome to a channel all about Personal Development for INFJs and achieving an Epic Life on Your Terms.
I've been on this personal growth journey since August 2014, and this channel has been right there with me every step of the way. The videos and conversations with all you amazing folks have truly become the center of my life, and I couldn't be more grateful for the connections I've made.
Now, this channel and everything that comes with it have become my ultimate passion. I'm beyond excited to help you soar to new heights on your own growth journey.
What INFJs Think They Want: 🤝 Meaningful Connections: You crave intimacy and understanding in your relationships. 🌟 Idealistic Goals: You're driven by a sense of purpose and want to make a difference. 🏆 Recognition and Validation: You want to feel seen and appreciated for your unique insights. 🛠 Perfection and Order: You seek harmony and detest chaos, desiring a structured environment. 🌿 Solitude for Reflection: You need time alone to recharge and maintain your mental and emotional balance. What INFJs Actually Need: ⚖ Balanced Relationships: You need supportive connections that also allow for space to avoid emotional burnout. 🧭 Practical Steps Towards Goals: You need to ground your aspirations in reality with realistic, achievable plans. 🌈 Internal Validation: You need to cultivate self-acceptance and inner confidence, reducing your reliance on external validation. 🌱 Flexibility and Adaptability: You need to embrace changes and imperfections, as perfectionism can be paralyzing. 🕰 Engaging with the Present: You need to practice mindfulness and presence to fully enjoy your experiences. As an INFJ, understanding the difference between what you think you want and what you actually need can be a powerful step towards personal growth and fulfillment. Remember to balance your ideals with practical self-care and embrace the beauty of the present moment.
I find myself becoming more of ENFJ, socially because it prevents a lot of harm that comes from living in the INFJ mindset. I’m an INFJ when I’m at home, though
I used to have big time problems with depression (not all INFJs do). However, in my pre Myers-Briggs days, I learned that teaching did wonders for my mood. And now, knowing about Myers Briggs in general and INFJ in particular, I definitely see the dynamics of extroverted feeling and extroverted sensing for focusing outward. My first experience of teaching on a professional level came with giving piano lessons and later in the classroom. Classroom teaching especially helps us practice Se because we're constantly having to make new plans, write them up, submit them and use them. I'm not saying that all INFJs should be teachers, but I do know that it helped me immensely.
When I worked in communications, I had a "wake up" radio program. It was about 2 hours long. I would spin music (in this was in the days of record players) and make comments in between. (A sort of disc jockey thing, and BTW, a super sort of "public" job for an intovert!". 🎹🙂! ) Even if half the city was listening (which may or may have not been true) I literally couldn't see my audience. But my "villain " thing was often when a person recognized me and thought that, because of my job, I just "had" to be conceited, proud and "thinking I was better than everyone else." It shocked me at first , because rational people in my business know that if they act proud and stuck up they're going to lose listeners! Although I did have some positive feedback, there were actually people who got angry at me! I realize that that kind of "villain" accusation was something completely out of my control. What I did was to try to treat people with good common sense manners, concentrate on what I was doing, and direct my conversation outwards towards others. That helped a lot. I'm not even sure I know to this day what a lot motivation for anger was, but I found it was good to do my work, treat people well - I and try not to make myself responsible for their thinking of whether or not I am a villain.
I was once told by a person five years older than me that I scared the younger ones that were in their late 20’s to early 30’s I did have questions as to why they seemed to kind of avoid me. It really stung to hear that I scared them because, I didn’t think they were afraid of me at all, just maybe shy and the idea of scaring people was extremely hurtful. After analyzing the entire and odd situation, I felt they were afraid of being discarded by the very older person who told me that…. Intuitively, I just knew I did not hold any power whatsoever over the younger ones like the older one did. They never offered examples or helpful ways to be more approachable…. 🤓🤔
So, in effect it was a triangular way of ostracizing me. The input I got from people up the chain (not the one who said I scared the younger ones) was that I set a great example and all my efforts were appreciated. I never let on what I was told, and had to play my cards close until I found other employment…. This situation has also come up in family gatherings that are extended over weeks worth of gatherings, that I intimidate the younger ones. Thing is, is I really don’t think I do, I think it is the older ones who want to shun me for my truthfulness? Yes, I shut that door too.
This is quite good. Thank you for creating this video. Am learning a lot about myself by watching your videos and its making my life better. Thank you Wenzes ☺️
Entitled people often see others as villains no matter what. An INFJ tries to go along with people but if they are being completely unreasonable than you stop explaining yourself.
I love this video ❤ It's a truth or dare dynamic with a sprinkle "I'm Thanos Grandfather or Grandmothers if you're a female INFJ"😂... I'm grateful for you Wenzes❤!!!
I'm a INFJ 4w5 and, in theory, I'm supposed to become more like a healthy enneagram type 1 for growth. I interpret that as positively expressing extroverted judging Fe in balanced with introverted intuition (Ni). At the same time, I would need to remain flexible to new information outside my experience and/or awareness - i.e. stay humble with others and ask questions before judging. If you are an INFJ and have some wisdom to share w.r.t. MBTI-enneagram growth then please comment. B.T.W. this video is fantastic; thank-you Wenzes!
After 6 decades I can no longer stand to make myself look small, dumb, naive, needy in order for others to feel better about themselves and “above” me. List of my friends is getting smaller and smaller…
I’ve noticed XSFJs will often see me as a villain. Typically the SFJs who have been hurt or taken advantage of. No amount of explanation helps. I’ve found at first they think: “She is so selfish and she thinks she’s smart but she’s obviously kind of dumb. And she lies!” This will all be false. But if I ignore it and keep being kind, but hold boundaries, they will eventually decide, “Huh. She does seem kind sometimes. But she does everything backwards and wrong. It doesn’t even help anyone. But her intentions are good. I don’t know why she is so stubborn and won’t take my advice. If she would just do things exactly like me t would be better. Just pride I guess.” And if I continue being patient, “Somehow what she does works. She actually has an insight there. I didn’t see that. She’s still kind of backwards, but I guess it’s can see her point sometimes.”
You cannot control what others think about you. There is no such thing as being better than other people. As an infj- having a spiritual and scientific grounding in human behavior- and most importantly, grace- forgiving yourself and others and adopting an attitude of forgiveness is key to your liberation from the rat race and manipulation
I'm a 41 year old INFJ Black Man from Texas and I have just come to accept that the truth can make you a villain so it is what it, even when I got passed "my just tell people who they are phase" and became hella chill, still the villain.
I dont even have to view this content... to say: "No problem." (Edit: that said - easy acceptance concerning this arrived with 'Maturity' - - - "No problem"
I really like your vibe! Love hearing more about being an infJ- yes we can be in our head/heart and live there while life passes by if we don’t pull ourselves out and live in the external regularly. ❤
So the person that doesn't like me- she won't look me in the eye. This is the single most insanely annoying, frustrating, and rude thing anyone could ever do to me . I cannot stand to be around her and i cannot be my true self when she is in the room.
I want to know how to get an INFJ to not like you without upsetting them? I don't care about all the theoretical life improvements of a relationship I don't want. I just want to know how to keep me and my actual relationships safe.
When I worked in communications, I had a "wake up" radio program. It was about 2 hours long. I would spin music (in this was in the days of record players) and make comments in between. (A sort of disc jockey thing, and BTW, a super sort of "public" job for an intovert!". 🎹🙂! ) Even if half the city was listening (which may or may have not been true) I literally couldn't see my audience. But my "villain " thing was often when a person recognized me and thought that, because of my job, I just "had" to be conceited, proud and "thinking I was better than everyone else." It shocked me at first , because rational people in my business know that if they act proud and stuck up they're going to lose listeners! Although I did have some positive feedback, there were actually people who got angry at me! I realize that that kind of "villain" accusation was something completely out of my control. What I did was to try to treat people with good common sense manners, concentrate on what I was doing, and direct my conversation outwards towards others. That helped a lot. I'm not even sure I know to this day what a lot motivation for anger was, but I found it was good to do my work, treat people well - I and try not to make myself responsible for their thinking of whether or not I am a villain.
@@lindateuling7862 I need to take your advice because sometimes I just say ahh screw it on my RU-vid channel and force people to see me as a bad guy and just get it over with even though I don't think I am a bad guy when all said and done.
This is the first time I've herd of INFJs having a god complex. I'd think it would be more of a Napoleon complex. I personally think people have no right to complain about help unless their choices are being subjugated. So I also can't see INFJs as having a savior complex. If anything, they seem more scared of helping people rather than having a willingness. Unless it has something to do with political correctness. And it seems like it's mostly just to prove to themselves they're good rather than challenging their own or popular beliefs.
I am currently getting to know an intj male and an intp male online. I can clearly see the differences in how they could potentially be in a relationship. I can already see how I would be with either of them. @Wenzes, what is your take on the most compatible mbti between an intp and intj male? I can tell you that so far, the intp understands me and melts my heart whereas the intj seems clueless or almost uninterested in terms of understanding me (even though he is consistent in his communication).
Encourage or participate in threats, bullying, harassment, rape, intoxications, social isolations, unjust subjugation, theft, cheating, gaslighting, humiliation, or abuse of any kind and you'll have to accept being the villain behind bars, and anyone else you get involved. Even businesses end up having to pay the toll. 7:04 INFJs are too prideful to apologize. And that's a dangerous train of thought. Imagine if it was your own brother going to jail because he was too self absorbed to have common decency. We all live in the same world. And we all have to abide by the same rules of realty. 7:23 You're not good by proving anything to yourself. That's called denial. Your only as good as your willingness to get past your own sense of self for the sake of equality. 8:41 INFJs don't have to be relatable and shouldn't pretend to be. One big problem I notice every one of them has is pretending I'm just like them and then getting upset when I have to remind them what works for them doesn't work for me, just because they know they can't keep playing house with me. Good people don't judge unless you project your insecurities onto everyone else. That's what actually makes everyone else uncomfortable. Because that only says more about your own character, not the person you'd inevitably be warning to stay away. (PS Don't expect NT or SF types to go along with anything unrealistic on a consistent basis. They'll only do so for everyone else's sake as a short term strategy to get along with people.) 9:30 INFJs can only read ST and NF types, who ironically just so happen to be the most common types. NT and SF types are on a whole other spectrum. And I'd like to share you my notes on why there's such a drastic disconnect. the differences in perception shocked me, almost into a state of panic by how terrible people are at communicating the emotional side of perceptions. You can feel free to do whatever you want with them. (PS don't ever randomly tell NT or SF types anything around the lines of "I know what your trying to do" unless you plan on actually talking things out. It seems like a bad ST and NF based habit that just confuses NT and SF types and makes them question your intentions.) I think the Dunning-Kruger effect is something that should also be brought up. Bad people think they're good and good people entertain they're bad [ST/NF example]; dumb people think they're smart and smart people know they're dumb [SF/NT example]; etc... The only way to know for certain is through shadow work, which also requires having to fight one's own understanding of both themselves, people, and the world around them.
