Discarded 45 days ago after 22 years! These videos have helped me soooo much in understanding what kind of monster I had been living with! One week before he discarded me told me he felt like we were still married...(yeah, he divorced me 12 years ago), and I went back and it got worse! Left me in another country, canceled my credit card, and changed the banking info. I woke up! I realized that's the best gift he gave me, my freedom! I have no money but I have peace!!!
I think, when a person has enough, it doesn't hurt anymore. You're more than happy and relieved that the narcissist is finally leaving. None of the past is no longer relevant. That's what happened to me. Believe it or not, I celebrated the day he left. I have not looked back since then. I don't want to hear from him forever. I moved on. That was the worst chapter of my life.
Good for you for standing up for yourself and moving on. Not easy, but worth it. I agree that it stops hurting after time. They get back what they give (which is basically nothing) and rightfully so.
The bad times clearly outnumbered the good because as good as they were the other times were worse and left us scratching our heads onto figuring out what the heck went wrong but there is no sense to be made thus our endless confessions😢! 😊
I also celebrated after she left. Interesting but I still don't trust dating because this borderline personality was cunning and beautiful. I could not understand what's he revealed. Ten years to long and we owned property together. Their should be a national register for the people to check out. To avoid potential vilolence from the crimanaly insain narrsasistic criminals.
I was discarded and was wondering why??? It was extremely painful 🤔😭😭😭 and was without warning signs 😵💫😵💫😵💫. I didn't even realize that I was being abused by a narcissist 🙄🙄🙄. I'm still healing and thank you Danish for making these videos. 💜💜💜 #ByHisStripesIAmHealed🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
It gets better. I've been healing for almost two years now. Ive been isolated and just realized I'm in a vagas nerve freeze. Somatic exercises became my best friend. Remember , it had nothing to do with you. It's all him, but look at your patterns because you probably recurrently choose abusive people over and over again. When you are healed, a nice guy won't feel icky and smothering.
Maybe because they learn from each other how to meet their needs in a way that is not fair. And a happy life is all about being fair and bringing out your value based on truth. Do you agree?
In my opinion, they're all the same because at their core is a lying, using, deceiving, evil entity whose purpose on earth is to destroy the good people, the empathetic people. I know that sounds drastic and dramatic and I'm sorry if it's a little too much to take in. It seems a lot to settle on when it's talking about someone you've loved. Yet, the truth is the truth. Eventually we come to accept the evil that they are. Note this: they'll never, ever, ever change. They can lie. They can cry. But it's all a lie. But the best thing to do is walk away.
@@CynthiaSchoenbauer~They definitely live in their own truth. I think narcissists can definitely feed off each other. They can sense the evil in another and try to use it to hurt others. My narcissistic mother did this with my narcissistic sister. I was their target. They definitely learned from and fed off each other.
The non-thinking devil could only make 1 model quickly and sneak the model quickly into future narc's soul while God was distracted, maturity is not one of their features! 😊
@@monongahelacats He was always what you saw at the end. The hard part is reconciling that with what we all thought they were (in the beginning). They are EVIL to the core. Trust your gut from the outset. I know I gave the benefit of the doubt ("I'm too sensitive"). Now? I do not question my intuition. I immediately respond to my intuition. Some say when God whispers, listen.
@@nji7772 I was blinded by his love bombing. He really was different in the beginning, and my best friend, who had set us up, was urging me on. I’m not friends with her anymore either.
The Person you married never existed. They mirror you, so you kinda Fell in love with yourself. Which in this case is a good Thing because that Shows you that you ARE lovable, you possess qualities that are wanted in a relationship.
I thought we had a good relationship. We got along really well. One evening we snuggled on the couch holding hands and watching our favorite show. Literally, the next day, he packed a backpack and walked out the door. Then he told everyone around how I abused him and that he had PTSD from being married to me. He was suddenly so cold, hateful, pretended to be suicidal because of me. He was immediately in a new relationship before I even knew what happened. It took me a year just to get over the shock. But I kicked his a** in divorce court because my mother was a paralegal.!!!
So sorry that happened to you. I had a similar experience where he literally changed overnight into a completely different person. So sudden I remember the date. No gradual red flags emerging or anything. I’d be curious how many people noticed the sudden, overnight change vs. gradual red flags emerging. Hope you’re doing well now.
Yeah I saw that stranger whom I don’t know at all at the end. Why didn’t i believe he was using me. All over-confidence about my likability that didn’t let me see he was unlikable and hence he was a swindler.
I will pray for you! You must Not Beat yourself up with the Good memories or the wicked Memories. Stay Very Very Busy! Read Psalm 91 and Psalm 56 every day. Pray on your knees that you want to be ready when Jesus comes. God WILL deal with them!!!! He does…. Find joy and healing in Music❤️
Yes, I'll pray too. Make a plan to get out. Remember what he is and it's for nothing to do with you. Stay calm . If he tries to smear you, just ignore it. Record every conversation.
0:06 "They treat you horribly and the monster inside them comes out." Once I discovered the narc's cheating, a monster was unleashed that bore no resemblance to the woman everyone saw during the wedding. It was the most puzzling personality change I'd seen in my life.
Never dought that you are weak, that's a fact! Keep watching and learning, this stuff's fascinating, narcs are poison this is why you feel like a shadow of your true self, how you feel is thanks to them, no contact, they slander whom they can't control!
@@joseenoel8093 I have a daughter with her and she’s prevented me from seeing my daughter for 5 years despite me showing her admitting to hitting our daughter in head via text to a family lawyer, he ignored it , but he had worked for my ex in a parliamentary committee. She was reported twice for child abuse by a school principal and a mental health triage nurse but it was all covered up by the former premier of my state. Because he came out to her as gay and my ex was his gay ally in parliament . Its not bs . Just totally messed up .
I experienced the discard phase. Discard phase is very painful. At that time I couldn't understand clearly. Dear brother your vedio helped me a lot to understand more about narcissistic people behavior. Thank you brother 🙏 Now I am try to overcome the situation
I've been used & discarded a few times but the most surprising time was very recently by a blood relative. She told me I need to move out because "our energies clash." Translated: "Despite the fact that you are paying 62.4 % of your income to me for rent & despite the fact that you do chores in my house, you are no longer silently smiling while you do these things & it's making me uncomfortable. Leave." I moved out 3 months sooner than the deadline she'd given me (because she would get 3 more months' rent from me) & apparently it disrupted her delusion that she was in control of this situation. She then viciously insulted me & my son & tried to drive a wedge between me and two of my friends by spewing more of the same. I didn't feed her need for the drama. I jist left her stewing in her own concoction.
Discarded 6 years ago after being married 40 years. Before he left he told me he was going to take everything including the kids and that what he was about to do to me was not against the law and that everyone I knew including family members were going to scratch their heads wondering what happened to me. He did exactly what he said he'd do. If anyone out there wonders if they know what they're doing, I can assure you they do know and they don't care. They really, truly don't care!
I'm not sure if you've covered this but I saw a video on sexual assault and the startle response. Could you do a video on sociopaths and narcissists and the startle response? I find if they ask favours or just start shouting they sometimes do that because they know how to elicit the startle response in a victim to get their own way.
Yes he would not heal with me. I told him I forgave him & if we could be friends & talk things through over time we could heal. He could not heal. I told him I had been healing on my own. It’s true the source of your pain cannot be the source of your healing. He will not progress. He is stuck in his loop of blaming me, repeating the pattern with others, blaming others, repeating until there’s no one left. He is incapable of accepting any responsibility for his actions & has zero remorse. My closure is coming through happinesses through hobbies, unconditional love from pets, and people like Danish who help me understand. Awareness is the 1st step to getting out from the dominion the reptilian had over me. Even as I’ve been discarded while trying to work through the closure with him, I miss who I thought he was. It’s going to be a while until I’m free & I don’t know if I am ever going to be capable of trust or love with any person on any level again. I’ll work on that after I get out from under his spell.
PUNITIVE! That is the perfect word for my entire life's pain. I have been punished with everything taken away when I don't comply. Now I complain instead of comply. I can see my father used his role to discipline for my benefit to punish me for HIS benefit. He used his punitive power to punish me for not meeting his needs. He punished my so much that I completely lost all of my self because it was all taken away as a punishment because I was non-compliant about meeting his needs. I would not let him u ck my so he u cked me more.
All of the above✅. He turned my adult daughter against me by playing victim and she joined him in the following years of extreme abuse throughout the divorce proceedings which lasted years. I knew my Ex was toxic, but how he could convince and groom my daughter against me was frightening. I sensed the change in her behaviour but never would have guessed she was part of the build up for the final discard. When my relationship with my daughter was destroyed, he discarded her too. She was just an instrument he manipulated and used for the smear campaigning and to project him as the better parent.
Looking back in hindsight, there were obvious signs that the narcissistic person was eventually going to discard me. They would come over to my place, and then they stopped coming around, (which I found very odd.) It was only a few months later that they discarded me.
Thanks for explaining why they behave like complete strangers. It is to keep their composure. And not believing they have been exposed. WE WERE ALSO subconsciously to expose them. He used to say I will explain myself out of all situations and be indifferent
It's all true. It is an out of body experience. Thank you for doing this video, Danish, it is so important! I went through it years ago when nobody was talking about narcissism yet, it was very difficult, nobody understood.
You know what you are talking about. Iam going through it right now. My husband threw me out of our bedroom to sleep in my kids room on the floor. It is sad😢.
U r.....like a Candle in a dark room for me...u have helped me so much....in healing as well.as in making me aware of the whole situation. IN INDIA its too difficult to make ppl understand wat I am going through...but ur videos ...I keep on sharing so that they come to know...wat I am talking abt a Narcissistic. As if I introduce them to new type of ppl exist in this world n they are known as Narcissistic. Thank u sir....my 6yr old son also thanks u a lot. AS HE HAS ALSO GONE THROUGH SAME TRAUMA AS I.
Danish, You are the best🎉.Nothing more clear than this video about narcissist’s behaviour when he/she is about to discard you👍Even your videos help to heal.
My narc behaved like I never existed. His sister behaved like business contract us over what is your interest. But he behaved like we were still connected. This way it doesn’t seem like they used me
My adopted daughter is a narcissist. She uses her child to punish me when I don’t jump through her hoops. She has now cut me completely out of her life because I never help her. I have been helping her for 20 years but I’m ready to move on. I feel bad for her child but there is nothing I can do about it.
Sir my wife shows narcissism activities since 1 year and never allow me to have sexual relationship with me by telling pointless reasons , is this a symptom of narcissist or she actually pretending not to have physical with me 😢
😊She's a control freak and using emotional blackmail to fix you! It's all out war, I've lived it, don't 2-time her, it's her marital obligation she's denying you, if you wander she'll use it against you, I have a fine with me attitude, it was never that great anyway, mine was getting harder to pls, that's narcism they up the anti, too much work!
@@joseenoel8093 mine tried this with me for the last 2 years before i had enough and left her, claimed she never felt horny but brought a sex toy🤔 during that time...she tried every possible angle in trying to train me in doing her bidding with the reward being sex,i didnt fall for it . I ended it and the pure natural evil came out it was nothing i had ever experienced for 10 loong weeks until she moved out,now it continues from a distance to which i dont engage in. Recently found out that she had resumed contact with 3 of her previous Male Friends during those 2years with numerous trips to another to "Visit her Parents" I am so happy i ended it...
Me ex husband took all of our photos one day when I was not there, all the baby pictures, the professionally taken pictures. He never cared about them before but he took them all. It was 10 years ago and I have stil not got a single one back. But I tell myself that I have the children. He also started to openly be mean to me the time before he left. Normally he was only mean at home where no one could see it. After 10 years both court and karma came for him this summer finally!!
I was married 13 years n he wanted my brother to sign a catholic paper .we weren't married..plus had a son n dog n mortgage. Ha hos new ugly love wanted this. My brother couldn't believe this n the nerve!! I can laugh now .he's married n miserable with this ugly lady .. I'm happy n married 41 years . Grandma too. Happy!!
When I was waiting for me to realize.. he openly said I won’t realize .. I know what I am doing. And I am like there is no logic or sense to it. When there is no logic or sense to it, u know u r with a criminal who is in the relationship for some other reason. Be it food or shelter or money to spend mindlessly
Our 26-year-old covert, narcissist daughter just discarded my husband and I, after we confronted her about learning that she was not working in her field but instead working as a stripper and call girl for years! We are a two parent, professional, upper middle-class family, and she was afforded every opportunity. To say that we were shocked when we learned of her deceit is an understatement. Although her lying to us is nothing new, including such whoppers as from Hoda University in her first year continue to pretend she was still attending classes and depositing our monthly checks to cover university cost. we have always forgiven or looked the other way with her many lies, but discovering she is working as a sex with her is a step too far for my husband, and I and we called her out on it. As soon as we did that her mask slipped and we were discarded. She showed her true self when she said to her sister “what do we even need these people for anymore? “. How do we put our family back together again after comment like that? Devastated.
He walked out after 38 years. I wish I left him a long time ago. He was nothing but a nightmare! Robbed me, cheated on me, sneaked around and always lie!
@@patriciavandevelde5469 I think about that a lot! And I just tell myself that I have to be what I want other people to be that I’m involved w in any capacity. This jerk got a hair transplant, picked up and moved to southern Cali, and tells the kids how much fun he’s having surfing etc 🙄 Bro turns 40 in a month and is acting 22
@@patriciavandevelde5469oh and when he told me on New Year’s Day that he was divorcing me, he told me that I am boring and lazy. I don’t even need to explain how inaccurate that is
No closure on narcissist.. that’s for sure. Haha yea they’re the problems. He never gave me closure when I caught him flirting with MEN.. on an app. Maybe he needs both supplies.
10 years with a Border Line Personality. She tried all of these things including destroying my career through sabatage. My life with Bonny was like I worked at a mental institution. Cazy thing is i helped put her through massage therapy school and now plays these games with her new husband. Her clients have no idea what a monster she is.
You are speaking nothing but THE WHOLE TRUTH....my Narc had the ordacity to introduce our 20yr old boy to his puppy b4 I even knew it....what a Shame....they are shameless reptiles....toddlers trapped in an adult body.....
The character assassinations I dealt with should be considered as verbal threats against me when they are telling people lies about you in an effort to get them to harm you without openly saying go hurt this person.
I am the narcissistic one lmao! After years of devaluation, belittling and abuse she decides to end thing abruptly. I tried 6 months to fix it, I did some harsh behaviors too. Finally it reached to a point that she said it is her ego she can not fix things and she will not. I had to let her memories burn in front of my eyes because all these things gave me nothing but PTSD and trauma.
The odd signs were there early- I ignored them. I took her to see her favorite artist (obviously paid for hotel, tickets, food - like always). She made it a miserable expierence comment about other men at the concert and how the artist could do anything to her sexually while she withheld it from me. She told me I was bad in bed and we aren’t compatible in that sense.. whatever. I ubered back because she didn’t feel like making the extra 30 min drive for me. After watching rage and her texting other men in front of me- giving me the silent treatment if I dared to ask about them. I knew once I got that Uber I was going to cut her off and she would never hear from me again. Just two days removed from the relationship looking back like wtf was that lol. I got out early - half a year. This is the second time I’ve seen a narc in the last two years so I have to do some soul searching to avoid these types of people. They are walking parasites and leeches (to put it in nice terms). To everyone here I know you’re here because of the pain they caused. Screw them - they are nothing. We are special- let’s show ourselves how strong we are. I’m with you guys ❤ God bless y’all
It happened to me 20 years in, and two teenaged daughters. The pain of not knowing who I was married to the entire 20 years is undescribable 😢. Feeling like a crumpled up piece of garbage, and he walks around like nothing happened. I would not wish this devastation on anyone.😡
Just want to point out the narcissist can also be the woman here. My ex wife made my file for divorce by destroying my things and moving our savings into multiple off shore accounts. I had to file to freeze our finances and stop the clock. She dragged out the divorce 3 years in that time I moved. When I found someone new she retaliated with swatting me, calling the cops on me, trying to sabotage my job, relationships and car. She tried to destroy me in any way she could. The worst thing she did was turn my daughter against me with lies that her family reinforced. I have not seen my daughter in 7 years. Every year my ex wife still post something about our wedding anniversary, like her wedding dress, all over social media while I celebrate our divorce 12 years ago.
He told me once that he isn't going to charge. He likes what he is. I hope he likes it on judgement day. I did try to witness to him but not happening.
What a mentality of narcissistic😂 cheapest mindset try to hold other in his/her views stressing they are loyal, righteous, in right path ...drama will ends with reality
I wished for a hoovering, after being discarded. For revenge, I said to myself. But jn reality, secretly wishing that he would come back and stay forever. Well, not just one, but multiple hooverings I had from him. What was I thinking ? Ladies, I dont want to tire you, but NEVER wish for a hoovering!!!!
Yeah, he didn't count on the tables turning. Not my first rodeo. I just didn't know what it was back in the day. Had small snapshot vision of the new person running away with hair on fire. Did I give him a serious mind f***, yes. Regret no. Only two words for him. Bot Fly.
K 👻🎃 Danish it's not Hallowe'en nor Fri the 13th 😱 (phew falling on next Sat) they treat us like friggin Yo-Yo's sorry narc you're out of string so I'm rolling without you, never did I ever intend on wrapping anyone around my finger, *freedom* gives *energy* who the heck can live without either of the them? 🗽 ⛲ 🎠 🌌 🙆
