I personally feel that breadcrumbing creates a trauma bond of sorts and is incredibly difficult to break the longer it goes on. My advice would be to get away from anyone doing this as quickly as possible.
If you ever question yourself what you mean to him, it means you don't mean anything. It hurts like shit that someone would just keep you as an option. I was so tired of the intense heavy feeling, restless, insecure. I had to let it go. It kills me. It's not my ego. It's just protecting myself.
I did this and hadn’t even watched this video yet, crying rn cus I have the reassurance that I did the right thing by walking away. I told him what I wanted and he gave a bunch of excuses and wasn’t willing to compromise so I immediately ended it. Thank you 🙏
Good for you Alisha 💗 It is so hard to receive the hurtful bread-crumbing behavior from a masculine that initially showed interest and yet chooses bread-crumbing over simple honest and truthful communication (i.e. gives "excuses" when asked to speak truthfully) 😥
Bernardo, the reason men bread crumb (or do any hurtful, manipulative or self-sabotaging behavior vs HONESTY) is based on THEIR unhealed wounds. Most women are dealing with men who are wounded children who will not LOOK AT their behaviors (as that would require acknowledging weakness and, as one man told me, "men won't acknowledge their weakness") and do the deep dive into self-healing. All relationships REFLECT OUR WOUNDS and "hurt people hurt people" which we see in bread-crumbing behaviors instead of Truth and Honesty. Women deserve honesty and shouldn't have to jump through a thousand psychological hoops to connect with a man who has shown interest. BOTH men and women need to work on healing their wounds, but I see very few men doing this. Most women I know have spent a great many years and have made huge investments of money/time/energy into becoming healed, healthy conscious partners. Can you as a mature, balanced masculine representative address this? Thank you 🙏❤
It's not just dudes who do this. I have so many positives in my life, I am able to do whatever I want yet my ex-girlfriend got my mind all twisted. Now out of it I can look back and holy shit why didn't I just walk away. The slow boil is real. Year 1 incredible, year 2 so/so, the last year and a half was spent chopping my legs out from under me. Now she is dangling the only bread crumb that she has. She wants to be friends with benefits. No benefit there.
Being single to me means cooking when I want, sleeping when I want, watching what I want, not being told what, when, where and why, not being judged, not being responsible for someone else's happiness, not having to feel the need to entertain another, not having to listen to crabbing, fussing and fighting, and not being torn from my relationship with God which is the most important thing in life to me, not having my child deal with someone/ men other then his father and putting up with the drama. What I miss about being in a relationship: NOTHING (not sex, cuddling, touch, nothing) I have not dated anyone in any type of way since 2015 and I can honestly say I've never felt so calm and happy as I have since that year and on. God has been my protector and so good to me, giving abundantly since I have stayed single. If you change your perspective on being single and have child like faith in Our Father the whole world opens up to you AND you won't need video's like this anymore! (I'm only here cuz the breadcrumbs caption caught my eye then saw what it was, thought I'd leave this message to encourage you if your single and I'm outta here). In this day n age being single is safer also. To many 🤡's out there now-a-days!!!
@ Ashlyn Taylor I'm really glad you posted your comment. I too am a devoted child of God and had decades of bread crumbing and other toxic behavior before I left my so-called Christian husband. My children are grown so I live alone. I do get lonely, but God is my best friend and comfort. Everything you have written, I have been focusing on--there is a lot of freedom and peace and having that makes up for any sense of lack that might come my way off and on. In my healing journey, which began in 2019, I discovered that inner peace is my highest value so when I notice it disappearing for some reason, I look for the cause and fix it as fast as I can, returning to God's voice inside me. Hugs to you.
O my gosh! This is what I think lady. IKR I really made myself a 🤡 each time I wanted someone to stay by my side. Peace is really addictive although it do gets a little lonely sometimes. But it's better to feel alone on your own in your presence at least you don't have to deal with a piiig who separates you from yourself and plays bs games on the expense of your own self esteem.
I think we need to pray with passion against the spiritual attacks on men and women: pornography, sexual perversion, division etc that are keeping men and women from having healthy relationships. I have been single for a long time because I find men in the U.S. who call themselves Christian are so extremely compromised. I will have a man who is surrendered to Jesus or no one. That being said, I have a crush on a broken man now. While keeping my distance I am praying for him intensely and seeing if God can bring him to repentance and transformation.
It's not always that people accept poor treatment because they think they don't deserve better, but because they think that better than that doesn't exist.
I was committed in my marriage for over 20 years. All I got was burned and old. It is so sad that good people are getting hurt all the time. I can’t wait for my divorce to be finalized.
Awe, please don’t feel you are old. I believe that we are all on a journey towards God and we can have a wonderful life and peace and bliss at any time! I believe in Jesus Christ as my personal savior! 🙏
Right on time. I have removed him. This behaviour is so poor. I invest in myself and fill the gap by myself until someone can join me in that. Filling the dopamine with the opera tonight! So excited!
I think being in a relationship is about two things. Respect & Tolerance. As the saying goes, "If you Like your partner and Can Accept the others worst habits, you'll stay together forever." With that said, I think people quickly jumping the gun., whether it be bf/gf, engagement, marriage is a bad habit. & It's true, people invest more time and resesrch when purchasing a new car than they do in getting to know someone before saying I Do.. This year will be my 4 year anniversary with my partner. I took alot of time to learn about; him, me and as a WE. I think to make a relationship thrive, you have to eloquently state your standards, accept your partners idiosyncracies and let love naturally grow. We are all works in progress ;) never forget that 💞
@@ThePossumone If you want to lead your days and life with that kind of vibe, then be my guest, yet I choose to live my life with optimism and leave the pessimism far away. I prefer to lead with loyalty & love.
Heather is correct. Certain individuals (Narcissists) are Master Decepticon's, and Manipulators. And "if" a person has NO idea that these people EVEN exist (as I didn't) or what a Narcissist is ...... they absolute targets for them. They will "believe" that they have meet, not only "their" person ..... but THE person. When in fact, they have met EVIL personafide, in the flesh. Your perspective, is based (Thank God) from your lack of an encounter with one. Had you of married one ..... (like me) your view would be significantly different. Year's of abuse have a way of helping you "see" thing's clearly, once you get the necessary help needed.
I was blinded by this guy, who showed me a shiny version of himself. I tried to be happy with his lack of involvement and I devalued myself! Staying with him was painful, because he stopped reaching out to me. He led me on in the beginning, interacting with me and then dropping all of that once we were together
i soooooo needed to hear this right now. omg. breadcrumbing sucks. when you said stop lying to yourself... wow... really made everything make sense to me. ♥ thanks for this one. Really gave me something to think about
Thank you for this video. I did recognize towards the end that in my last relationship that I experienced some breadcrumbing. For my next relationship I know that I need to be direct, clear about what I want, and not accept anything less. Life is too short to waste time...
I have listened to you for ..years..no clue how long. Thank you so much. Your videos have helped me so many times of my life. When I was single..married..divorced..relationships..single again! You have changed my life, thank you so much!
Thank you this is excellent advice. I know a breadcrumbed…the advice and suggestions are exactly what I have been working on for the last 2 years….after ending an abusive relationship. A People Pleaser with no boundaries, I typically jumped in and out of relationships. 2 Years Ago, I began a New Journey of Healing and practicing Self Love…that’s my Recovery Journey. I took a 2 year Sabbatical from all intimate relationships. I am now building a Tribe of New Friends that reflect my interests common goodness….this is True Wisdom…thank you for your Eloquence😍
I watched this last night and I felt like you were speaking to me directly. It was what I needed at the exact moment. It gave me chills. I watched it again and I will need to execute your details to get rid of the breadcrumbing men in my life. THANKS a million!!
My 4 yr LDR has suffered greatly during the past two years of global pandemic, and we came very close to breaking it off, and I'm glad we didn't. LDRs are hard enough without travel bans, lockdowns, loadshedding (in his country S. Africa), economic melt downs, etc. I c. ut him a lot of slack, and happy I have. He's flying to me in May -- finally -- unless another crisis occurs. SURREAL. We're both over 50 and been through it all. ☘
Woman like competition with other women. If he’s married or taken they will take the bread crumbs. Also when a guy bread crumbs you, he’s seeing other women and has no intentins of getting serious. Guys know when the they know and will not skip a day talking to you and will come see you daily if they can. Playing yourself. Hurting yourself. When your happiness depends on someone calling, you are missing the whole point of life. Happy weekend!
@@tessadunkley5171 The married men tend to say and do things that make them think they have found a unicorn. They overlook the lying and cheating on their spouses and children. Most affairs need the marriage to survive. It’s the competition and sneaking around that drives their desires . Isn’t everyone on their best behavior when trying to get a man to be with them?
Thank you for this video! I’ve struggled with this for years with my TF. I find myself justifying things but it all comes down to myself worth and believing a deserve more.
I lovingly let him go told him I wanted him to be happy but I'm looking for someone who will be 100 percent in..he said thank you..he's alone trying to figure things out..I've gone no contact been 2 weeks I hope he'll come back one day...but if he does It's all or nothing and won't put up with any less
Bern, I really get a lot out of how you can really explain things, the abstract feelings, so exactly spot on. You put always put things into a picture or perspective that really hits home. I'm learning a lot from you. Great that you're there for us! 👍
I hate that we have to watch videos about how to manouver around male psychological games ! How immature and self centered that these type of men run relationships
I have both ADHD & Borderline personality disorder & im glad im now self aware of my own actions but it took me years to get to this stage. This is my explanation for why i breadcrumb...... it's simply because...from the beginning my consistent positive validation had been met with indifference by women, so i had to work harder to get their attention by intensely love bombing them and once i have love bombed them, i finally get their attention and once they respond to my love bombing, i reply to them with indifference (leave them on delivered purposely) to feel better about myself & that felt like an ego boost.....and this behaviour of mine became a bad habit overtime and now that im self aware....i have stopped love bombing them
Thank you for this video! I had a bread crumb relationship a while back. I was casually dating a few people and one of them was very competitive. They seemed to be everywhere I was but when I made it clear I wanted more, they would gaslight me. I was " just a friend" until they wanted something. I had not seen this video yet but I did what it took to break away. Not long after I did this, I met someone special. We are a much better fit then I ever would have been with this other person.
Our self worth is not in how others who mistreat us feel about us. We are a good woman for the right person. I’m not talking about perfection. The right person will know that and be willing to see you as who you are and build a relationship together.
Wonderful, wonderful video. Thank you so much!! I am very grateful for it! And if I may say, God bless you (and any of your viewers who would like to receive this prayer) in Jesus’s Holy Name, Amen! 🙏
This was really helpful, thank you. He just blocked me after I called him out on his breadcrumbing. Though I know he's doing me a favor, it's still hurtful. I'm trying to move past it. Do you have any tips or videos on how to soothe yourself/your ego after being blocked by an ex?
I am dog sitting. It fills the void since I no longer communicate with him for the past two months. He is with me psychically though. Very intuitive and the connection is still strong. The practices I know aren't working.❤
MOST BREADCRUMBERS are energy vsmpires, they do not want to give uou as much energy that they expect from you. When a partner breadcrumb you it is over. They think they can do better or they are cheating or they are hoping you will see other people so they can or you will cheat and they can be the victim and get fuel.
Omg!He does this!he always said he loves me but he never make an effort to see me we live in the same city but we rarely see each other!4 times a year!!!he said he is busy with work or he is tired..and it hurts me alot i always questioning my self maybe i’m not worth it for his time
It's sad that people even breadcrumb to begin with. Finding someone you're attracted to who's honest, loyal, and a supportive partner is very rare to find nowadays.
@@BernMendez I believe it's a lot about the right timing. If someone isn't finding luck in the dating world, it's smart to take a break and work on oneself. I'm going to be positive about it. :)
I’ve actually applied for an open university psychology course , doing me now I’ve told him that I’ll be a friend but that’s it now . He’s been playing me even though he don’t seem to even realise it He’s not at all aware and trying to play games with an emotionally intelligent person . It’s kind of funny really
Some are true breadcrumbers, but there may be other reasons...like autistic burnout. It's not healthy for a partner to be on the outside of that burnout and not know, but it's important to communicate even if it seems like the end. Without communication we are just guessing/assuming. It is on them to readjust/get help, so there are some better coping skills.
I don't know why RU-vidrs keep trying to explain everything with dopamine. the reason why we don't detach is because we don't want that person to disappear from our life so even a minimal contact fuels the hope that there is some possibility of recovering this relationship or that it can go back to how it was at the beginning.
So you're saying that minimal contact creates a dopamine rush in your nervous system (Among other things obviously) nothing is as simple as one molecule and yet biochemistry matters. Thanks for watching.
It's in the best interest of online therapists to trot out buzz words like "breadcrumbing", "boundaries", "vibrations", and advocate for self-development to improve your chances of getting with a man. Ladies, just go for it. Tell him you want to see him. Hang in there if he is hot and cold. You don't have to be a better you--just put on some makeup, smile a lot, wear something pretty, the usual...this is not rocket science though the helping professions want you to buy into the fantasy that it is.
Oh damn, I didn't notice that I'm breadcrumbing my crush who also has a crush on me. My main reason is because I'm not sure if she really likes me or not, but her friends said that her feelings are true, but for some reason I don't believe them, what do you think i should do?
The kind of women who doesnt allow is the one with access to good options. there no options in my social circle i didnt want to wait another 7 years to get to the next 45% satisfaction. I feel plenty worthy just dont encounter many good looking accomplished guys who also into me.
