Good advice! Just went through this with a man I met on a paid dating site. We texted daily , talked, and video chatted. Made plans to vacation together, and move South. Then, he disappears, cuz I missed one video chat! Hah ! I gave up….! Next….!
Let go of false hope. Heal childhood wounds. Love yourself. And then, your true soulmate is on the way. Trust yourself! Peace & healing on your journey!✨
I'm not looking fir anyone else. If I'm honest I don't consider myself attractive. I'm a bit overweight I have pcos so I have hair growing where it shouldn't grow. I just get used time and time again I'm better off permanently single that way I can't get hurt again.
I totally agree and I'm only realizing this now. I got quite friendly with someone through messaging, I really liked him and I foolishly thought he was into me. It was definitely ljmerance on my part. He never ever wanted to phone me but would text all the time, then a few months ago I noticed that any time I messaged him back he would take hours to respond and maybe not bother till the next day. I'm done with this crap after tonight. I think I just got myself into liking something that wasn't even real and I'd say he is a shark at this game. Xx
This was me for so many years due to emotional neglect as a child, its taken alot of self reflection and shadow work to begin healing and being able to set healthy boundaries in relationships. I'm still a work in progress but my relationships are far better and I do not suffer like i used to🙏
ONLY INVEST IN MEN BASED ON THEIR INVESTMENT IN YOU Bernardo Mendez 100% thank you. The worst thing about it is the waste of time. They must have very little respect for you for wasting your most valuable resource - your time, this only applies of course if you have been clear about what you want, if you have and they breadcrumb you then they are literally gaslighting you, block 'em!!
Hi Veronica, thanks for watching. They may not be gaslighting you but if you're not on the same page then it makes a lot of sense to move on from them : )
I am currently separating from my spouse over this. He breadcrumbs on long drives on dates and at the dates until i get upset and he speaks to women when we are out, smiling big and looking them in the eyes, and avoids speaking to me afterwards or before. I told him if he breadcrumbs me one more week, i am done, and he still did it. He even keeps me wondering if we will date again and tells me at the last minute with less than a days notice.
It all really comes down to self worth and self concept! You will never walk away if you don't have a strong self concept. It took alot of pain and suffering for me to set boundaries and truly love myself but trust me everything changes when you do this.
I was with a guy for 9 months. He asked for exclusivity and it turned into a shit show after 2 months. Exactly like what it’s said in the video. Relational breadcrumb is painful indeed. I felt that I was held by someone and did all those girlfriend duties, but I was no one’s girlfriend - unseen, unheard and no one stood up for me when I needed support. No matter how hard it is, we must walk away from that situation to save ourselves. It’s really unhealthy to our detrimental health. Don’t stay; it will never be better but worse!
Note: as a girlfriend or friend you don't have "duties". To God To yourself To your parents To your children To your husband/wife To your job/business/ employment These are the only examples of who or what you are obligated with "duties" to.
I love you for seeing and knowing and understanding of every level of hope/wish and disappointment that we feel. It isn't even his fault in my case. I am the one who keeps wishing things were different. It's so hard to stop thinking that way.
When you realize your worth,you catch this behavior in the beginning and have zero tolerance and won’t put up with it. The minute a guy does this I lose interest real quick.
Brilliant video! I was not equipped to identify the signs when this was happening to me due to childhood trauma and mother wounds. It has taken me years to recognize the mistakes I made. Thanks for the video.
Thank you so much for your advice I was in the third breadcruming situation the one you mentioned is the most painful for about three months. I'm actually proud of myself I had the courage to walked away....still sad and in pain but I did not allow myself to stay in this situation. Thank you so much
It’s not lies someone is telling themselves, it’s someone gaslighting them self. People who grew up inside gaslighting are vulnerable to gaslighting themselves. It’s how they kept themselves safe growing up. Vastly different from lies told you ourselves.
I love the way you express and explain in this video - you cut through, and what you say makes perfect sense. Greatly appreciated, from all of us who gain clarity from this.
We must also remember... We only get messed about it we allow it!!! If a man is really interested..... I believe they will let u know!!!! What I've heard!!!!! Love your videos!!!!! 💙💙💙Many thanks
Thanks so much for your wisdom. Very helpful to know what breadcrumbing is all about. Your info cements the action I would take and follow through a plan that's best for me. I love your videos. Again thank you! 💖
I've been in relationship for 6 years not sure if it's breadcrumbing he doesn't seem to even care he keeps me at distance there no real love or affection I have to make the first move but he will buy me flowers or he is taking me on holiday we go to cinema he says this is how he shows love but there no affection from him heartbreaking is this breadcrumbing 💔Thanks Bern for another great video
Tell him what you need from him, if he values you, he'll be happy to work on things. If not you tell him thanks but it's not enough for you and leave him. Find someone who has your same love needs xx
Thank you, that is valuable! The gambling metaphor is so precise. When I see anything about future gain, I recall a joke I heard from a Treasury guy. "I don't buy futures." :)
Sounds like an opportunity to value yourself a bit more in your actions and figure out ways to connect with more men. Or to give the guy who is investing in you a real chance and see if your feeling can get stronger.
Great analogy, the gambling psychology. Win just once in a while and it makes you try harder. Now that abortion is becoming more illegal, casual relationships with breadcrumbing are even more important to weed out unless you want the price of a stud fee from him. If you like him so much and get careless and tell him my lawyer will be in contact with you. I’m so glad I’m old and don’t have to put up with having to treat men like that like you’re their mother. Just think of the love anorexia you would have if you married Mr. Barely Interested. Sounds to me like he’s got another woman who has priority over you anyway.
What about a relationship where the guy is taking care of his mother and she is so jealous of our relationship that she abruptly moves him five states away and we are now in a long distance relationship? He had to quit his job, sell his house and leave me behind. It's been 9 months since I have seen him. We still talk multiple times everyday but he will be taking care of his 94 year old mother until she passes away. At one point, before he left he said he would be coming back to get me but now he says he won't have time for me, she is a full time job. He says he just wants to come back here and start a life with me but he can't leave his mother without a caretaker. Even though he has seven other brothers and sisters, she chose him to be her caretaker. So I either leave him or I wait for an unknown amount of time for something that might never happen! What's a girl to do?
Sounds like your guy isn’t available to be in a relationship at the moment. It’s a difficult decision but you need to meditate on this question. What is the most loving thing you can do for yourself given your needs? Whatever answer you come up with will not be an easy solution but your won’t be with one foot in and one out. You’ll either be fully in or fully out. 🙏
I did it. Get on with your life … stop waiting. I waited ten years. Now it’s the house and the dog. I even helped him and his family expected me to do everything because he inherited property. His mom passed and guess what…… he is busy. Invest in a man who invests in you! God bless you.
Why are you making it so easy for him and rewarding him for leaving you. I wouldn't be talking with him constantly throughout the day. Give him a chance to miss you. Speak to him every few days get busier. He shouldn't be your priority anymore
I like the casino example. 3 girls from the my area won a lot in a casino then went shopping in London 😅 they ended up banned from the casino 😊 Yes I agree breadcrumbing is breadcrumbing!
I have a question about online dating. Why does a man cut connecting with a woman when things were seemingly going great (he called and texted frequently, planned to meet, shared similar values/interests)?
There are many reasons why this happens, often times the initial honeymoon cocktail of hormones fades away and he is faced with the reality of not having the space, mindset or time to move things forward. Other times something happens in his life that takes a much higher priority, work, health or another woman.
