5 Things Men Waste Their Money On In Modern Women. 1. UNDESERVING GIFTS/TRYING TO IMPRESS. 2. PAYING FOR EXPLICIT CONTENT. 3. DATING APPS. 4. BANKROLLING HER LIFESTYLE. 5. FINANCING IMPRACTICAL RELATIONSHIPS. Stay Safe Out There Kings💃👍
So wrong about dating apps! My most incredible, passionate, spiritual, sexual experience that may turn into a long term relationship, has occurred via a dating app. My previous girlfriend of 8 years, generally someone who was very nice, came to me via a dating app. My brother is now married with a child, and has been married for years (their child is a young teen), and this was also through a dating app. Nope, completely wrong.
Courtney already speaking facts and it’s the first point. Me personally, I don’t get why you want to go to a expensive 5 star restaurant on the first date (unless you’re super rich but whatever lol) I’d rather get to know the girl and connect with her first.
My first date is a trip to the dog park. I'm already going to take my dog there, it's pu license, witnesses, during the day, then I get to see how she acts around dogs, other humans and it costs me nothing. I've had women tell me that I'm cheap. Whatever. I'd rather spend money taking my dog on vacation than an ungrateful cunt.
Paid for six months of premium of Match (they paywalled everything after March 15th). I've either flat out rejected women's profiles for multiple red flags, or not gotten responses (and only went on one single date that went nowhere). I've literally ran out of profiles. Save your coins brothers! You'll have better luck from acquaintances or the grocery store. 😂
The super market is about the last place I look . I want in and then out as fast as possible , I'm always afraid someone there will try and eat me before I escape . The people are huge , and they hate me for being in my 40's , and in good shape .
Thank you for your work Courtney. This is probably the healthiest voice on the internet for men on dating. There are a lot of toxic perspectives seemingly multiplying but this channel's given me hope.
As a woman, my opinion is never ever feel pressured to pay for someone else. If you want to pay, do it but don't expect anything in return. If anyone makes you feel like you need to pay or they'll walk, then let them walk. They aren't worth it.
This is good advice. For real, you’re not missing a thing by letting the materialistic/entitled ones walk. They are awful to even talk to, nothing but boring thinly masked “size up” questions and a future disaster ticking away if you fall for it. Learn to recognize no real attempt being made at connection or real good will. I know so few guys have experience now and are just picking through the trash, but I’m telling you, the dynamic is so different from someone that genuinely wants to get to know you and connect than with these bag chasing nonsense people and once you see it once, you’ll never un-see it. It’s night and day.
Just simply don't go to a restaurant you can't afford and then cry about paying 3 dollars for extra cheese like the poor loser on Courtney's previous video, if you don't know her that well and not even sure you like her, don't even waste your time, I wouldn't that's for sure, maybe just take her to a place where you can just have coffee and free refills lol 😂
Yeah definitely it's far different than what it was in like the 60s. 0 comparison. Now there is only quantity and no quality. Exactly like the housing market. Dumpsters selling for an exorbitant price.
@@agoogleuseranonymous2658modern dating is for bad boys and cocky idiots. Iv noticed the bad boy types have more chance at finding the women of their dreams. If your a polite well mannered level headed guy forget it.
Modern women are soulless and really strange characters these days. I don't know what's changed women from even the 2000s era, don't get me wrong women have always been shallow women, bullying, body shaming, emasculating, dividing, dehumanizing and publically humiliating men for everything from penis size to your bedroom abilities and judging and grading your entire value on this type of nonsense. But in the past few years especially its like most modern women are actually mentally ill, penis size girth shaming drooling, "body count" obsessed types. Pron has ruined modern women.
@@agoogleuseranonymous2658 a comparison to the housing market is honestly fascinating.... Fascinating because we all need a roof over our heads..... but do we all need romantic companionship? The quality isn't there for sure
When I take a girl on a date, I make sure we do things that I also want to do. That way if nothing comes out of it at least I enjoyed myself or tried something that I wanted.
If I want to treat myself I don’t mind covering her plate. If I detect a lack of authenticity I’ll make a comment and see if she is grateful or just looking for a free ride. If she doesn’t reciprocate by giving back in another way? no second date and no vibes
When I go out on dates, I never even ask a woman what she likes or wants to do. If she's the right woman for me, she'll like what I like. Or at least pretend to and go along with it.
You are so right about the loneliness. I always feel better after I get out in real life and meet real people. I’m very introverted and it’s hard for me but everything gets better after I do it.
I have dated a few women met online. The biggest thing I learned is that the most plain, ordinary and just simple minded women I’ve ever encountered are drawn to online. There are so many guys to give them attention all at the same time that their views of themselves go way overboard. It’s one thing for an ordinary girl to get some special attention once in her life and build some self esteem. But to be rude and snobbish to guys when your only qualification as a woman is your female parts, and none of those even approach average; there’s just something wrong with this picture. Online is wonderful for watching any movie you want. But there are no movie stars behind these keyboards.
Don’t waste money on somone that doesen’t appreciate you or would do the same for you. If they can’t pay for themselves they can’t live for themselves either a relationship should make u feel good not poor✌️
@Anthony Manzio That's because speed dating is a faster version of going to a bar. You pay for the event. You might get a drink. Then, only the very top 4.5% of men who show up might get a date.
Best advice ever: "If they like you, you'll know. And If you're confused and don't know: they probably don't like you." That was a lightbulb moment for me. Thanks Courtney. Sometimes men think women are playing games and hard to get when in fact they just don't like you.
.... and sometimes women (especially those who are young or privileged) DO play games. And you'll know its not worth your time. Let the others simp after the B. Don't waste your time unless its a fuck yes. Because its either a "fuck yes" or no
I am a guy who have no trouble to stop seeing a woman, or breaking up with one, if she does something that I find repulsive. Once, a woman I went on a first date with tried to coax me into buying a new tattoo for her. We were in a restaurant about to leave, and literally minutes before that, I paid the bill, and then she flirted heavily with the restaurant worker that I paid the bill to. Needless to say, I told her off, and kicked her to the curb then and there. Some people have literally no shame, and so much entitlement that I am amazed....
Something similar happened to me, I never talked to the girl again even when she tried talking to me again. It felt so good to ghost that slimeball h0e
Hello Courtney: Congratulations on the success of your channel. I lost my wife in Aug of last year after being with her for 32 years. I happened upon your channel & I appreciate your classy wisdom. I guess you would say I need a tune up on how this dating scenario goes these days. Man how things have changed / evolved & IMHO not for the better. From what I see happening now is more of a superficial business negotiation & who can BS the other person the best wins. What I don't see is kindness, caring, truth, & respect. I live in N.J. & man it's tough living here, it's like trench warfare. I realize you live in Ohio where your demographic is much different, ( thank God ) but you are one very unique classy Lady. Yes I'm alone but not lonely, there is a huge difference. After taking care of my wife for 11 months 24 / 7 & all the strokes it really exhausted me mentally & physically so basically I've had enough with pressure, nonsense + send me money. I love your outlook on life + your style of navigating in these shark infested waters. Thank you & be great as always, TMP from N.J.
There are all kinds of older women looking for a man. I assume you’re at least 50…. There are dating pages on Facebook with mostly women wondering how they can get men to join. No strings, just convo until you’re both interested.
@@garypierce7380 Guess what, Now I have 3 women messaging me. One in in her 20's, another is 45 & asked me fir a new I phone & the third is 55 but she's just a pain in the ass. Thanks for the advice sir, TMP from N.J.
I stopped doing dinner dates. My standard first date is taking her for a trail ride. I have 3 horses, I'll take 2 to a popular lake nearby. It helps me stand out, costs me nothing beyond what I normally spend and it's a good way to get to know someone. Also, ladies love horses.
@One Man's Wilderness my horse that I bring for her is a big percheron cross I use for hunting. He is well broke and very chill. Never bucked once, not even when I desensitized him to me shooting off his back. Even then, I give her a quick safety brief before we meet so I have a copy of the messages then again before we set off. Good luck in a lawsuit.
100% facts. I dated a girl who I spent MY money on to fix her car, didn't charge her at all, I booked a weekend getaway with her a MONTH in advance because she had 2 kids and she still bailed the day before and I was left paying the whole bill myself, I even bought her a goddamn ring for her to ignore me in the last 3 weeks of the relationship and get mad at me for bringing up why she's ignoring me for 3 weeks and break up with me. Make it make sense. Gentlemen do not spend money on ungrateful women.
You don't truly know a female you're dating until you take them to a place like Five Guys, Chipotle, Max Burger etc. The reason is, is because those places are super chill and normal. Those are types of places you two will eventually be spending quality time at on a nice afternoon once the honeymoon phase runs its course. If you can take a girl to Buffalo Wild Wings, enjoy watching sports and have a good time, THAT is a quality date.
Courtney just wanted to say that your a breath of fresh air your the only woman so far I've seen on you tube giving real advice every other woman I've seen giving advice always wants something in return and it's nice to see someone like yourself trying to help people without any hidden agendas really appreciate what your doing keep up the good work my name is James by the way thanks courtney
The other day I heard on a podcast that there was an AI texting app that would pretend to be a girlfriend. One day they sold that company and the men using that app were pissed and heartbroken because "she" changed. I always knew the movie Her was ahead of its time
“They sold the company” Imagine being in the acquisition meeting when the justification for the purchase is along the lines of “there are simps out there begging to be milked. If we can impersonate real life women these fools will ensure we’ll never have to work a day in our lives again” It’s so f-ing dark how men’s loneliness is now the next big money maker and it’s not even being done under a genuine exchange of money for real life interaction. It’s all about scamming them out of their money in return for something you know is fake but is clever enough to fool them. Shameful
@@robe1811 Yeah it's pretty shitty. But then I thought of it in the perspective of those men, they essentially went through a breakup. Even in an artificial romantic relationship, breakups still happen it seems, at least in this situation. If anything I hope that acquisition helped some of them to improve their life situation and try to live a little more authentically
Great content! I'm just casually talking to this young woman and we agreed to go out on our 1st date to a coffee shop next week. I offered to pay since I'm initiating the idea to go out and she told me she offers to pay for the next date, which I was not expecting that response. Anyway, we'll see how it goes.
She is already anticipating a second date before she has had the first one and offering to pay for the second date. She is very interested. Don't screw it up.
There is an exception to the 1st date rule of not going big. If you have known the woman for a good bit of time, you've been friends, co-workers, you've been working her for a long time. Don't go econo date in this instance. You don't need to go 5 star but go above Chili's or Applebee's in such cases I think. A place with atmosphere, upscale but not extravagant. But only if you are serious about her. ALSO, don't take her anywhere on a 1st date where she has expressed that she knows lots of people there. NEVER do THAT on a 1st date. That's a Bozo No-No. You'll be sharing your time with her with her friends and be judged and scrutinized by them also. Don't put yourself in that spot on a 1st date.
Good advice. I always did "upscale but not too expensive" and yep, never agree to go to a club or a bar where she knows everyone. I believe you ask you pay on a first date and you want to stand out a little. First dates are awkward and if you are competing with people she already knows for attention, you end up standing there like a fool and then it looks to everyone you have no chemistry, then they say that to her and you get blown out of the water. Even if you look super chill and talk to other people, you do not have the time in with her where that means anything and it is no longer a date with a romantic vibe. Worst case is she gets drunk with her friends there. Good advice.
I agree with all of these points. On the first point, women can be involved to help plan the date & set expectations. I found that not only planning the date, but the dress each person should wear, is helpful to make sure both people enjoy their time out. Unfortunately, a lot of women leave the planning to men, so men have to guess what would be a fun date.
Here are some date ideas from a woman: picnic in the park/at the lake, trivia night at a bar, comedy show, roller skating, ice skating, karaoke, Taco Tuesday, dance lessons, play pool, art museum. I re-entered the dating scene at 43. Everything I read about dating mentioned creating a list of things you’d like to do on a date. I scoured Pinterest, and found a ton of ideas. I shared some of those ideas with you. Most of these ideas won’t cost you a ton of money. If you don’t have a list of dating ideas, create one. You can start with the ideas I shared with you. If you don’t have a list of restaurants you haven’t tried yet, create a list of those, too. Don’t forget to include places for breakfast, lunch, dinner, bakeries, ice cream, food trucks, etc. Dinner is expensive. Breakfast is cheaper.
@@tspencer661 My ultimate date idea is one of my own: Buying lottery tickets in my state to see if I win $$$$ instead of thinking about dating. My odds are way better at winning the top lottery prize than at being ANY girl's boyfriend. Love is a luxury that not all men need, especially a low-income idiot like myself.
@@BigG833 There’s nothing wrong with being single if you’re happy. I just ended a nearly three year relationship due to his social media addiction. He doesn’t need me if he has thousands of other women on Instagram and TikTok. I’d rather be alone than deal with someone with a p*rn addiction. I am currently single and happy. I don’t even have the energy for a relationship at this time. I do eventually want to get married, so I’ll prepare myself for that when I’m ready. There’s nothing wrong with being low income. Not everyone can be Warren Buffett. If you have enough money to cover your expenses, that’s good. If you have enough left over to invest in retirement, that’s better. FYI, I tend not to call other people derogatory names, including myself. Not my style. If I want someone to say something mean to me, I’ll go to mom’s house.
Thank you, for making this video! I hear way too many men complain that women are too expensive. You absolutley do not have to splurge money on a woman. A modest coffee date is wayyy better than a 150$ dinner. Keep in mind if she likes you she will appreciate time that you spend with her. I personally would 10/10 prefer a coffee date over something more expensive. It puts presure off of us. If that makes sense.
I needed this video. It's crazy how much social conditioning we have when it comes to dating. I shouldn't be putting myself in uncomfortable situation, that's not a relationship anymore. That's something else
Very good video Yes I have experienced giving a very hot young woman money I am 51 she is 23 and you would think I should know better but I didn’t As soon as I stoped giving her money for rent, nails, hair etc she stopped wanting to see me I don’t know how it is possible now to be with any woman and not expect this
Sadly I still struggled with this. I was struggling with just small amounts of money giving to girls for pictures or just to talk with them on the phone and stuff like tnot random girls but. Girls that I was talking to just one but I understand what you're saying and I was trying to. Meet this one girl but she had a kid and I had to pay for babysitting and to drive her. Then I had to do other stuff. I knew that it was a bad idea and I continued going with it and I just wanted to stop altogether and everything so just today. I deleted both of them and blocked them actually and thank you for this video Courtney. It is very important let other guys know what's going on and it is important. Don't let your hard earn cash get wasted on some worthless girl or women. It's good to send gifts but to a girl that you're getting to know and you've spent time with for a good amount of time.
Why are paying for pictures and phone calls? She doesn't have a mobile phone? Don't pay for babysitting her child, especially for the first date. The harsh reality is most men will not be interested in a single mother with a child at home, especially for a long-term relationship. So her choices are limted. If she really wanted to date you, she would find a way to get someone to watch he child. I hope you didn't just ghost her, unless she did something awful to you. You need to create a list of dating rules that you follow.
@Alvin Laster Thanks man those are really good points and you're right about that. But also just we've tried to meet multiple times and everything but I should have tried to meet her at least 2 or 3 times and if they didn't. Work out then I should have just dropped the thing all together. But I didn't I tried to meet up with her and I got fooled into it because she was nice and we got along good but if It's not working out and i'm spending Money than I need to drop it. Yes I used to be the person who would give a ton of people chances all over and over again, in the past Is 5 Is to ten years, I've been giving people only two chances and I need to stick with that. Just because they are easy to get along with and everything But if i Have to spend a lot of money to come see her and she's not willing to pay for some stuff herself. Then that's not far. It turns out I find out that the sitter was ripping her off so many times by stealing the money and not doing the job. she eventually dropped her friend and went to another friend. But still it would still be me paying because she was not good or didn't make enough money, The bottom line is if she didn't have enough money to support the babysitter Herself then she didn't like me that much, It sucks that I wasted my time with this.
Hi Courtney, can you please do a video on what women look for in potential father of their children? What should men look for in a potential mother to their children?
So right about your last point. My marriage was not balanced at all and I felt disregarded so many times but let it go. I am honestly happier paying attorneys and fighting for custody than I was with her.
D@m bro, 18+ years down the drain, finally starting to feel ok with letting go, but still have all that legal ish to go thru, haven't started any of that.. any real world advice before a moco heads down that road...?
@@phabeondominguez5971 Please don’t look at it as wasted time. We make decisions based on who we are at the time. Sometimes we grow and change and our partner doesn’t. Sometimes we mature and realize that we’d rather be single than to have to put up with anyone else’s BS. If you think you need counseling, get some. Going through a divorce can be emotionally draining. Do you have kids? Spend time with them. Do what you need to do to show them that you love and care for them. Take care of your health. Try to eat right and exercise. Ask other people for help. “Mom can you watch the kids, while I get a haircut? Dad, can you pick up some milk for me at the store?” Journal. You have to get those feelings out. Write letters to people who have mistreated you. (You don’t need to send them.). Tell them everything they did that was hurtful. Burn the letters or toss them out. Keep a gratitude journal. Write down the thing you’re thankful for. “I’m glad I woke up to another day. I’m glad I have food in my refrigerator.” FYI, I’m not a man. I am divorced. Leaving my ex was one of the best decisions I made. I told my counselor that I’d rather sleep in my car than live with my ex. I don’t know you or your situation, but I wanted to tell you about things I did that helped me. An odd thing that helped me was the docu-series The Kindness Diaries. Author Leon Logothetis wanted to travel around the globe relying on kindness to help him travel. I watched it almost six years ago, and I still think about it. When we live with someone who can’t or won’t pour into us and the relationship, we become cynical. It’s easy to forget that there are kind and generous people in the world. The document-series helped me see that there are still good people in the world. I hope at least one of my tips helped. Good luck.
I'm about to enter the same scenario. I stayed for.my daughter. she's graduating this spring. I gave up a lot to protect her from my wife with depression/issues. Now I'm running, not walking away. I need to take care of myself after taking care of two children for 18 years: my daughter and my wife. I need some self-care. I'm already lonely and married. Need to make the clean break and start living again. My daughter will live with me as she attends college. I have a dog. I won't be any lonelier than I am now in a bad marriage. My wife is a doctor and gorgeous. People will think I'm nuts for divorcing. I know the real story. Great doctor, awful person.
@@danrunner84 I didn’t stay for my daughter. I left for my daughter. My ex-husband is abusive. I knew that I didn’t want her to bring home a man like her father. The only way I could guarantee that was to leave. I didn’t tell him, I was leaving, but I had been planning it for months. You sound like you might be a married, single dad. When I told one of my friends about my situation, she told me that I was a married, single mom. What does that mean? It means I was married, but I carried ALL of the parenting responsibilities. Doctors’ appointments, dental appointments, birthday parties, school events. You said that you had to protect your daughter from your wife. You also said that your daughter is going to live with you when she’s in school. It wouldn’t surprise me if you were the parent who arranged all of her medical appointments, attended all of the school events, and were the main caretaker of your daughter. If that’s true, you’re a married, single dad. You said your wife is a doctor. You said that you had to protect your daughter from her mom’s depression and other issues. That lets me know something else is going on in your situation. I don’t know all of the details of your situation. I will try to give the best advice I can even though I don’t know all of the details. If you are not I’m counseling, find a counselor. My counselor helped me process a lot. My mom was verbally abusive and that’s why I ended up with a verbally abusive man? Oh. Makes sense. You marry what you know? Oh. That makes sense. The following books helped me: The Verbally Abusive Relationship, The Verbally Abusive Man: Can He Change?, and Controlling People. All were written by Patricia Evans. If your wife was verbally abusive, you’ll be able to see her in all of these books. If your ex-wife is verbally or physically abusive, don’t tell her when you’re leaving or that you’re leaving. That’s when violence pops up. Make sure that you transfer money to YOUR account. I didn’t do that and my ex- took almost all of our money out of our shared account. Hire a good divorce attorney. Interview a handful. Make plans for your life. What do you want to do? Do you like music? Make plans to go to a concert. Do you like art? Go to the art museum. Within two weeks of leaving my ex, I signed up for a paint night event. I took myself. Make new friends or improve your relationship with the friends you have. Be honest and share your story with other people. Tell people why you left. It gets easier over time. You come to realize that many people have been in your situation. Do something to celebrate your freedom. One of my neighbors had been a married, single dad. His ex-wife decided that meth was more important than their child. When he told me that he gained full custody, I congratulated him and told him to celebrate. I told him that he and his son needed to celebrate. He looked at me funny and said that he didn’t want to say anything to his son about it. I told him that he could tell his son that he got good news and wanted to celebrate. He didn’t need to tell his son why they were celebrating. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. If I don’t hear from you again, I want to say something. Congratulations 🎊🎉🍾 on leaving a bad marriage. Go live your best life!
Doesn't work for everyone iv tried that when out. Most women do not want to be approached. Unfortunately people can't always change things to attract women they already have their mind made up anyway.
@@jacobs3031 "Most women do not want to be approached." Most women don't want to be approached by the guy living under a bridge. But would be quite open to a billionaire. Nor am I suggesting you have to be wealthy, although it probably helps. A long time ago, I had a crush on a pretty little thing, she knew it too, and taunted me mercilessly, bless her. Point is she dated the least likely guy for a girl of ( in my estimation at the time ) her quality. I met her a few years ago, and asked her why. She said, I don't know, he kept asking. In today's deranged dating market, it might be called harassment, but there is still a place for persistence. If you approach it in the correct manner.
When I was younger it was the first thing I thought of was to buy a gift to be a token of affection for the other person, DONT think this way, the biggest gift you have is giving your attention and doing things together. Even when my marriage was on the rocks, I thought showering my ex with gift would make her love me again...No, it just exposed my desperation. So, don't from the get go, do after some time together for special events with what you can afford....
As a guy, I've feel that the layers from the inside to the outside of a good/competent man follows something like this: 1. Character - If you have nothing else going for you -- no looks, money, personality -- at the very least have good character. A good, practical set of rules that enable you to contribute something good to the world, have a higher likelihood of being trusted by good people, and keep yourself safe. 2. Personality - If you've developed good character, but don't (yet) have looks or money to speak of, find ways to grow and improve your personality. Try to develop a sense of humor, learn to talk to people, find people who share common interests and learn to harmonize with their vibe. Good character plus a good personality will already make you stand out above the average crowd, even if looks are not in your favor. 3. Personal Appearance - Once you've created a working ruleset for yourself (character), and are developing ways to better interact and connect with others (personality), the next step to help better your life is personal appearance. No, this does not mean you spend all your money on expensive suits and ties trying to look like a lawyer everywhere you go. You can look nice without needing to be a narcissist. Clothing of a durable quality that fits well, clean when you leave the house, hair that's maintained and styled, body washed and smelling good. Even if nature has not favored you with movie star appearances, a clean and well-groomed person who lacks natural beauty looks better than the dirty, unkempt version of themselves (I say this as one who's also challenged in this category). Good appearances help lower anxiety and the fear of being judged, which in turn converts nervousness into confidence. As the saying goes, look good, feel good. 4. Self-Sufficiency - Once you've gotten into good standing with yourself, the next step is to learn to take care of yourself to the fullest extent within your means and abilities. This one is modular, and there are many ways to accomplish this, but the basic premise is this. Can you pay your own way? Can you keep a roof over your head? Are you able to bring food to your own table? Are you able to keep the heat and electricity on? Are you able to have a savings? Are you a wise manager of your resources? Can you help a friend in need from time to time? Anything you can do to make yourself the master of your own life and be less reliant on others will, in the end, make you less vulnerable to trouble and catastrophe. You may not be the King or Prime Minister of your country, but you can be the King/President/Prime Minister/Emperor of your own domain. 5. Giving Back To Society: Once you've become a good, trustworthy apprentice to yourself, and are working on mastering the previous points, you are now the one who can call the shots in your own life. It's usually wise to contribute something to the society you find yourself in. How much or how little is up to you; even selfish people find ways to benefit their communities and get most if not all they want. I feel like if a person masters these five things, they won't even need to dump a lot of effort into finding a partner -- other potential partners may seek them out. If they do have to put in more effort, they'll be much better prepared, and less likely to get blindsided or embarrassed. And they'll know themselves well enough to better understand what they want and don't want, which, in the long run, will lead to less heartache and regret. Just my two cents. These are things I've been trying to work on.
Most women anymore aren't even worth coffee. Especially the ones advertising themselves online. We really need to get back to meeting women in person like I do because that's the only way to really get that first impressionable vibe test. If she tells you she will not accept the coffee day, I guarantee she will still come over and you will never have to take that trash out in public for everyone to see and smell
That's the insane part. Girls who like a dude will throw themselves at him normally and coffee isn't even needed to hit the sack and they'll DEMAND nice dates from anyone who wants more than sex. It's insane
@@SEliteGuitarist99 In fact, if anything, she will be the one coming to take you out for coffee or bringing one home for you. I have Women who approach me all the time in public. When they like a guy they will do everything for him and even give him free stuff and better treatment.
1. Everything. No amount of spending is going to matter. Either you're attractive, or you're not. If you spend too little, you're a cheap skate and you lose. If you spend too much, you're a try hard and you lose. The only way to overcome this conflict is be physically attractive enough.
That’s all there is to it. Just like when my buddy who is tall and considered good looking can say something obscene and still walk away with her phone number. I could say the same thing the same way and I’ll be considered a creep but if I’m lucky I’d just get a dirty look and the cold shoulder
Was wondering how long it would take to reach some blackpill stupidity. Yeah, money does matter. A lot. The top shelf women aren't ever with broke but good looking guys, and many of them are with high earners. Sorry to burst your bubble.
I’ve been following you for a couple weeks now and all I can say is: bless you! Finally! Thank you Ms. Ryan, from me and all of us mature, normal men who refuse to take any “pills”. I am a mature gentleman, now struggling with communicating these simple and common sense truths about relationships to my kids, and nothing of what you’re saying is news to me, but I could’ve never articulate it as right and honest as you do. Again, thank you.
This is why I’m getting divorced because it’s NOT been a cheap ‘date’ relationship! She’s become a hoarder, buying crap that’s not worth much, and to excess. (Not mentioning the eating part…) Sad all the way around, so thanks for this 10+ post! You’re awesome!😳
I actually have not been on an actual date yet. I've had a long distance relationship but it was a scam. I've paid for dating apps for a short time but they didn't work. I'm back on them now but not paying. Hinge is actually the best one I have used thus far. You get decent compatibility with women and can set basic preferences like distance and age groups. There's no limit on chats for matches. I would like to be more social but I am not very extroverted by nature so I have to push myself.
Ya guys be very careful dating somebody online. There are lot of scam running out there. Some other dudes make fake profiles to scam people, be careful!
Respect, trust & love are earned over time.......not bought!!!.....$$$.....entitled, self delusional & unrealistic expectations are not reality!.... In the real world it's all about being yourself and taking anything slow, & easy . Also, speak to express and not to impress! Down to earth & honest conversation and simple little things said and done over time is the best route to take....
Don't let these women gaslight you into buying them fancy dinners on the first date. They will only expect the same or more going forward, or they will ghost or FZ you. There are plenty decent, down-to-earth (see: Courtney), pretty girls who don't really care about all that. These women don't even respect men who try to pay for their affection.
Remember boys. Don't be a simp. Don't waste your hard-earned money on someone that does not deserve it. Use it to improve on yourself and the right person will come around.
No, I have never done anything on that list, but I've also never really dated. Even in my late teens, which were rough, I knew that I couldn't buy what I was looking for. By 21 I had figured out how to make a connection, and my everyday social encounters were more than enough to find women without explicitly arranging dates. It was always more of a mutual decision to start something with somebody I already knew through school or work.
Parts of this video made me really sad because I recognized things I'd done in the past, and some of the motivations mentioned were the same that I had, and I think it also brought up some of the frustration and regret I have about it. I can't say that everything I do is the healthiest, but I'm glad I've learned not to spend any money online in any way, and to start to have some sense of when I'm being used (even not for money). Some of it has left me a little bitter and a lot frustrated, but I think that it helps me some when I hear you acknowledging some of the issues, while keeping it reasonable, not generalizing about the more negative aspects, and also talking about positives and ways to be effective.
That's 100% descriptive of me!!! I've lived ALONE for almost 35 YEARS and I WILL strive for a world record of such lifestyle. I don't care if I become frail and disabled by the time I become a senior citizen. I do my own laundry, house cleaning, bill paying, errand running ALONE 100% of the time! More men are looking for love than women!!!
As a 38 single man, the me too movement have killed my hopes in dating or marrying. I feel like there’s no hope . Good luck any men finding good partners because I have been rejected every single time.
tbh , those women likely did you a favor . Go to work on yourself , and find your own happiness if you ever want to be happy with someone else . I gym diet , no drink no drugs and I'm working on my own business which is also a lot of fun , and work . Feel great look good and don't have the pressure or headache of a nagging never happy girlfriend who can't stand it if I'm happy just because she doesn't know how to be happy .. On top of that I'm learning how to cook more , and I keep a clean house . When a woman does come back in to my life , ill be ready for her .
Thank you for sharing Courtney i did do the dating site off and on and wasted lots of money on them not doing them anymore and a few weeks ago I went a Christian dating site and happen to get catfished lucky I found out early then things could of got worse thanks again Courtney
Hi Courtney, I recently discovered your channel and have been catching up on some of your videos and have found them very interesting. I would say I that I agree with all of your points in this video about wasting money on anyone before you are even in any type of relationship with them. I am glad to say that even when I was in my early 20's and was actively into the club/bar scene I would never even buy a woman a drink for pretty much the same reasoning as you laid out in your examples. I have never understood the logic of men spending money especially the ones that do not have a lot of it on someone that they do not have any history with. I remember back to when I was 20 and had begun dating my first wife, her roommate was the ultimate player. She had a group of guys that she would keep on tight strings and would "date" them only to the point where they were spending money on her. I am talking nice dinners, weekend trips, clothes shopping, and one guy even paid for her car to get all new tires and rims. But that was it and she would not do anything with them. All the while there was the one guy that did not give her a single thing as far as material things. Can you guess which guy is the one that she was having an intimate relationship with? Not to hard to figure out. I think you provide sage advice in this video but I still do not understand the logic that gets anyone to spend money on a complete stranger with no ties, history, or established commitment with you. Maybe I am just built different.
I know a neighbor of mine she totally uses this Beta to buy her a Mercedes. I asked him if he has made out with her or had sex with her and he said no. I told him that she was using him. He said she had some bad relationships and wanted to take it slow. LOL!
Hahaa some guys are insane😂😂 i know a h*e she had this one guy buy her boyfriend a new car allso 😂 don’t get sht anymore i would not even pay for dinner anymore if they can’t pay for themselves they can’t live for themselves don’t even want a 1 night with that kind of woman imagine how many guys they sleep with nasty 🤮 😂😂
About the dating apps... Even though they're terrible, they're still waaaaay better than "just meet someone in person out there" like at a supermarket or a bar, etc. There's no comparison. It's like the difference between listing your car for sale on Ebay motors or Facebook marketplace VS. parking your car in a parking lot somewhere with a "For Sale" sign in the window. The first way, LOTS of people are gonna see your car. The second way, ALMOST NO ONE is gonna see your car. GIGANTIC DIFFERENCE!!!
Yes, but in the first way you're being 'seen' (IF the site's algorithm even presents you to other people) among a gazillion others. Unless you're giga chad you won't be noticed at all. And in the second way, you have to go round 'different parking lots' and put yourself in front of more people to increase your opportunities. Both methods can suck in their own way, I know.
Two things I've wasted money on with one girl were (1) sending her a lot of stuff animals; and (2) long distance phone calls before everybody had cell phones. It was fun when we were together, but she was one of the reasons I would never recommend anyone try to maintain a long distance relationship. Very quickly she moved on to someone else.
Always liked the coffee date as a first goto, but certainly did a few mid-range dinners back in the day. BUT I'd already met those women in person and had a pretty good sense of 'the vibe'. 😉 And I was right, at least half the time. 😁
Never done that great advice. Thank you, Courtney. I’m asking you to bring and show the book on your videos about love and respect and five love language books, explain to the audience how important that is to read these books to help male and female understand each other we were never really taught the difference that men and women half Men one respect coming home to a unhappy wife, is one of the most peace disturbing thing that can happen to a man. I am not trying to say that it is always the women there are some jerks out there two men also need to understand how women need their love I recently came across something that I didn’t realize and necking woman that finds everything negative about her boyfriend/husband is actually keeping that man from loving her. How can the man love her if she doesn’t allow him to what I’m trying to say is sometimes in a relationship, the man kinda shuts down just because how to woman treats him. There are women that read the love and respect book that made some of those comments that they see how badly they miss treated and respected their husbands.
you forgot to mention also that OF models on there most of them are not single they have boyfriends or even married, and their partner is probably the photographer to
Wtf, there are people who give a complete stranger expensive gifts?? Those weirdos are the actual "simps". Only a loyal, supportive girlfriend/fiancee/wife deserves a expensive gift thats still within your budget. Tinderellas, foody call, Only Fans and such deserve nothing. Not even subsciption.
I agree with you on all of these and I don't do any of them BUT...as someone who doesn't have many options and just doesn't meet anyone, you think you have to do some of these just to have a chance! To have some contact with someone.
I disagree. I'd suggest being goal oriented in your dating. I think the goal should be marriage. I don't think dating is a hobby. Nor is it about "having fun". I think it's about finding someone to go struggle through life's trials with. 1. If you are looking for a wife, you're looking for a particular things -- commonalities & integrity. So, what about a first date reveals commonalities? Is it spending a lot of money? Is it giving gifts? What about a first date reveals her integrity? Is it spending a lot of money on the girl? I'm very old fashioned. I think the guy pays for the date. I think the guy initiates. But, I also think the first few dates should be super casual. I don't think the guy should spend any big bucks until there is an emotional commitment. Until then, it's hiking & biking & festivals & museums & music in the park & community theatre, etc. As far as meeting people, that will have to be another comment....if you're interested...gotta go...
I'm not getting married again. Your points are irrelevant if I can't even get to a first date or on the rare occasions that I do I get ghosted afterwards. I'm tired of having to do all the work, the initiating, paying for everything and assuming all the risk. Women can disappear anytime they want with no repercussions. It's not worth wasting my resources anymore.
Honestly the best places I have happened to me beautiful woman and single are the workplace especially friends of friends and events out in public like the mall or Starbucks and even Target 🤔
Thanks Courtney for saying not to take her out to an expensive restaurant because that's what I usually do, I'll go to a more average restaurant on the first date from now on. Also, I never spent a dime on onlyfans, never even used Tinder because I'm into the traditional way into asking women out. I also believe in having separate checking accounts.. her money is hers and my money is mine.. however we'll have 3 accounts together for the following 1.Utilities 2.Dining out/Movies 3.Travel Keep up the great work Courtney 👍🏻
You're right. A woman, especially a pretty one can never know or even really imagine the loneliness a man can feel. The idea that if you don't directly initiate it (and sometimes even when you try to initiate it) you can go weeks without a call or text or a second look or even a hello outside of your job is something that just won't happen to a non elderly woman. I once scheduled 5 vacation days at work in order to go to jail for 5 days (for a traffic offense), and no one even noticed I was gone.
......AS AN ABUSED CHILD IT'S NO WONDER THAT THE MAJORITY OF CRIMINALS COME FROM SINGLE MOTHER HOUSEHOLDS REGARDLESS OF RACE. BUT BY THE GRACE OF GOD THERE I GO.....
@@johannesswillery7855 Exactly. My last gf wouldn’t get beyond 2 days without a random guy asking her out, asking for her number, or asking her if she’d like to grab a coffee/food. She didn’t initiate any of it and was super loyal. She could be standing in line, or just browsing in a store; she was just super attractive and had a very athletic body. In comparison a woman has initiated with me about once per decade. 😮😢😂
@@georgegray2712 I am very fortunate in that ladies like me. I get hit on every day. I get attention on dating apps as well. But I have a huge circle of friends, both men and women, and it is different for most men. All a woman has to do to get laid is wake up in the morning. A man has to earn it. I would love to do a channel about my dating life but I don't want to expose the women I have been with. What I can tell you is that everything you hear on the "manosphere" is true. 1, women are never single. 2, they will all cheat. 3, they are all cheating with the SAME GUY. I pray daily that the Lord take the temptation from me and I have been celibate for nearly nine months now. It's a stupid world out here and probably not going to get any better. God bless you my friend.
I've done the "undeserving gifts" thing in the past and I still feel a compulsion to do that from time to time. I'm currently in a situation where there are a few things that would be considered "thoughtful gifts" that I'd like to buy for a woman who has already ghosted me after our first date. However, we still see each other as we work in the same circles. I know I shouldn't, but I still feel the urge.
don't do it!! control yourself! if she ghosted you it's not gonna work out and she has poor communication skills or your communication styles are incompatible anyways
Buy gifts for someone else. Let the ghost disappear. Gary Chapman came up with the concept of The Five Love Languages: receiving gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, and physical touch. When I was married to my ex-husband, I couldn’t buy anything for anyone, including myself. After I left him, I started buying gifts for everyone. The Target cashier who I talk to every week? I gave her a book. My divorce attorney’s secretary? She got jewelry. So many of my co-workers ended up with makeup. I gave the gifts randomly. I wasn’t allowed to be giving and generous for 20 years. I had to make up for all of that lost time.😆 Buy your mom some flowers. Buy your best buddy a six pack of his favorite beer. Buy pizza for your co-workers. You can give gifts, just don’t give any to the ghost.
you are a great man, but please do not do it. First meet a great woman, be modest with the money you spend on her and once she becomes your wife you can splurge.
@@sally.g. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽This sounds like something financial RU-vidr Anthony Oneal would say. He’s going to save his money for his wife. He recently made a video where he talked about this. He told his RU-vid audience that he is no longer taking women on expensive first dates. He is keeping all first dates under $100. He said he’s going to splurge on his wife and kids. He recently bought a Bentley with cash.😳. He definitely has enough money to spoil his wife and kids.
The best is when she claim that she isn't materialistic but then wants an expensive ring and other items. the thing that really bothered me was I would pay 10 time or more to her once with food and we both made the same amount of money it was just selfish and immature. I learned a lot from that relationship one of the worst parts of having a bad relationship is when you look back and see how much ridiculous bullshit you put up with.
The world needs more people like you! Excellent work, thanks so much. Please consider running for public office (but maybe don't if you enjoy your life) Five Stars!
Courtney, Thank You so much for this very helpful advice. I am new to your channel, I just watched the video and this is sound truth right here. As a man i appreciate You helping us make wiser decisions and be able to spot red flags ahead of time, I like what you said about not spending so much on someone your not even married to, how often we can fall for that one. spending a lot to help woman with their own problems such as rent expenses, food, bills, etc, way too early on in a relationship. Wow, Your helping so many people giving good advice. I subscribed and want to say Thank You so much Courtney, Your a true Queen my friend. 💖 I've got a new channel to add to my favorites now, way to go!
This reminds me about my dad and his wife. My father got a super nice cruise ticket for his new wife. This was her first cruise. It was a large suite on an 18 day cruise. Now my dad didn’t do it to impress his new wife it was just my dad wanting to go on a nice honey moon for him and her, and he had been on many cruises in the past. Now fast forward a few years, and I went on a regular 7 day cruise with them, this being her second cruise. She was super upset thinking the suite and amazing carrier previously was standard. She didn’t have a good second cruise.
I met my partner through bumble BUT we knew each other through mutual friends before, so all it really did was trigger the fact we were both single and available. I can't imagine it would work through a "cold" connection.
I’ve had girls that I talked to ask me for money or they want gifts and I always said no, but they want to get upset that I’m not giving them a handout smh 😒😒😒
Got married and divorced because of unrealistic expectations by my ex wife. I had to fight like crazy so I could have my kids I've tried dating again but I don't think I'll find true love. I love these videos and I wish it was around 20 years ago when I was in my mid 20s than now in my mid 40s.
This is what happens when society wants to de-stigmatize prostitution. You get society believing this is the right way of thinking. There are people who are like "it's the oldest profession in the world" blah blah blah... well, humans evolve. Our brains are more developed now to realize there are physical and emotional consequences to this mindset that reaches into people not able to form good relationships.
I want a video on what order should I put my articles of clothes on in order to style more easily. I got a shoe cabinet recently so that my closet, shoes, and full body mirror are right in vicinity of each other. I want to be able to see my whole body with everything on including the shoes to see if everything goes together or not. But I do not know if I should put on pants/shoes first or shirt/jacket first to see what fits with them. Please do a video that shows the proper methodology. Thanks !!
I was raised in an old-fashioned blue collar family who took pride in their work ethic and accomplishments in the community (my family is well off now), which in itself off course is a good thing. I was raised the same way, and only just recently have i realised i might have based my entire self-image and value on the fact that i have made something of myself by working hard and making good money. As a result i used to buy women lavish gifts to signal "Look, i can take good care of you", which unintentionally might have put a lot of pressure on them. It's not that i actually wanted to impress them; i simply didn't know any other ways of showing them how i felt about them but to spoil them. I am currently in the proces of unlearning that behaviour and finding other aspects about me that i have to offer instead of just my money.
No one should expect the person they are dating to spend any money on them whatsoever. The goal of dating is to spend time with someone and make a real connection that leads to a relationship (that last word is used all too lightly these days).
spending money on apps was something I got caught up. tinder hinge and bumble added up fast with maybe 1 to 2 matches a month. I had a profile makeover before paying for the apps, and still no success
This is our fault as men.... we've essentially spoiled too many women that don't deserve a dime of our hard earned money. If more of men set a higher standard for ourselves and started saying no more often than things would change and certain women would have to aline with what we want or just "die alone" or just be with their pet dog forever
I don't see anything wrong with going to a local bar having food and drinks and get to know each other... and have fun. Now I don't really drink much so I wouldnt be spending too much on drinks, so it works for me.
Some of us men whose moms did all the dating coaching when we were 13, 14, etc, have a lot to unlearn. My mom -maybe wanting to train me to be the man my dad could not live up to being-taught me a lot of nonsense. I mean, I am glad I am more mindful of how I chew food, appear to others, etc, but my mom went way too far and made me feel desperate until I met my wife. Okay, mom would have thought I was nuts to buy a $300 perfume, etc, but she also said women wanted to be treated like princesses, etc, and if you did not do everything right then another guy would.
A five star restaurant is ridiculous on a first date.Five star restaurant dates are only after many months of successful dating and good behavior from the women.A women must earn that if a man is under 30 that is a complete waste of money as it is not expected of younger men anyway.
