@J Brown I think you said exactly what I needed to hear right now. Made me cry. I'm trying to exit a toxic situation for the 3rd time. But this time strategically. And that hurts cuz I hate lying lol. But after the first two times.... I ended up with nothing an no one. I know that's why I keep going back. But I need to find strength to fully follow through this time. Over the past 1.5yrs I've caught glimpses of my authentic self for the first time in probably a decade. That was in our moments of full no contact. I'm sorry for sharing so much but I felt safe and needed to let it out lol.
They definitely don’t have a moral compass, it’s an act cause not only are they are deceiving you there’s a myriad of other before, current and down the road.
I woke up today overhearing my mom telling her sister “it’s hard watching her slowly deteriorate”. I’m so sick of her facade. It’s got me isolated from the whole family now. Her narcissism came out in full colors after my dad passed. I’m so tired of being her scapegoat.
This has caused me health problems. Malnutrition too. I’m on disability so I can’t afford to seek help. My existence is a medical miracle at this point and she couldn’t care less about me. The struggle to survive is real.
❤ I think a lot of times if you have a narcissistic mom she will project her mental illness on to you and then try to make you own it and then try to tell others that you're the one who's mentally ill. I know this is what has happened to me I don't know your circumstances.
@@carahubbard1141 I understand. It took me years to break away from malignant narcissist spouses. But your best route is to choose to live with intent. Instead of spending time worrying about what the narcissist does, spend your brain cycles on how to get free. It is common that living with a narcissist whether it's a parent or a spouse, leads to our feeling helpless. This learned helplessness keeps us victims. It takes a while to break this mindset, but believe me, it is possible. Baby steps. And do not tell her any part of it. She will sabotage you physically and or emotionally. Be strong. I believe in you.
I'm still here after years of battle. My heart is still redillion after so many wounds. I never thought that surviving narcissistic abuse is equivalent to Surviving a real war with bullets. I'm so glad that my fight is now winding down And peace is more normal.
You are always very compassionate and understanding of the victims of abuse, but most society and even many therapists are quite invalidating towards victims. The society and most people around you either keep sending you the message that you, the victim, are the one who should have been more careful or smarter or stronger to avoid the abuse (implying that you are responsible for the abuse that happened to you) or judge, look down on and mock you for what you have become AFTER going through the abuse. Your content is very valuable in that you not only don't blame the victims for being abused you even see victims as strong no matter how damaged they have become after going through such abuse. Thank you Danish, you and your content give guidance, hope and support to many who desperately need it and don't' have any of it in the real world.
As you say, we are strong to have survived. We are not heroes as survivors of war because few understand our struggles unfortunately. So I don't consider myself a hero but I am a whole lot stronger and wiser now and want others to know that. I found out that I can be the person I truly am and want to be. No one else can decide that about me.
Regarding point #5. Do you EVER really know a narc? They get really good at faking a personality that serves their purpose, then hold you at arm's length so you don't get a chance to see that it is fake. They will say they had trauma so they have a tough time with intimacy so you step back. They will say they acted out because they had a violent parent so again you step back and respect their privacy. I was married to a narc for 23 years before divorcing. I knew things weren't 'normal' and it took a visit to a women's shelter before a counsellor put a name to it. I can honestly say I still don't KNOW him. I know the various fake 'hims' that he uses for various people (and now I understand why he compartmentalizes those social contacts so they never compare notes because his values and likes can vary dramatically depending on who he is with and wants to impress)
I was able to spot my father´s true personality. For a few seconds, over the entire life. Hurt little kid, hidden deep inside, that never grew up. It´s in total contrary to their demonic false self, but it shares some traits (especially the childishness). What you are describing is just refusal to take any responsibility and subsequent blame shift, along with other manipulation tactics to force you to do their bidding.
The part where you said that covert narcissist abuse was like a gas chamber is exactly how I felt with the malignant narcissist. I know it's rare to attract a malignant narcissist, but I did.
Whenever I see your videos, i feel very happy that ur describing each and every point of narcissistic abuse very clearly .. every video is counselling for narcissistic abuse victims.. tanq Dr.danish
Narcissist have no moral compass. Spot on as always 👌 I just left a covert Narcissist, hypersensitive and fake good, it was just impossible for me to comprehend that he was a demon dressed as a very nice and polite person. He was a fake, everything about him was a lie 😢😢. One day with out a word he descarted me. Today knowing what I know i thank God that he left me.
Has been 3 1/2 years now....and still in release & recovery mode from a 5 year On & off relationship with a Covert/ Dark Traits Triad!! Your video content is so helpful Danish!!! Why has it been so TALKED about now In only last few years?? THANK YOU.Danish for ALL your info!!!❤
6:18 bro the solution you gave was on point, thank you. As a person with ADHD, it's a real struggle. I am gonna make this a part of myself. Adhd people have a hard time to process/understand unsaid things.
the painful experiences with narcissists to be considered as a bad smelling fertilizer , a strong lesson to realize how to deal with my relationships in the future. At least one liberating revelation that will protect us from mistakes, Thank you , Danish, for this presentation
Another great video Danish, thank you! Very helpful to remember these lessons we have learned so that we recognize these patterns in the future, and quickly!
You are totally right Danish. Thank you for all those lessons you taught me and helped me recover. Yes, people are not who they say they are. People lie, manipulate and abuse you, while wearing a mask. Now I know that. Thanks for helping me recover and opening my eyes.
Couple of things: 1. Thanks for putting out these videos 2. Ehen you show something iother than yourself on the screen, your CCs do not appear 3. I am one of those people who need the CCs. Can't turn them on last few days. 4. You have 0 comments even when you have many
i too depend on closed captioning. to someone with good hearing they can’t com rheannand how it is . i am so thankful Danish is at least trying to help the deaf . nothing is perfect, but we know he is trying ❤️ Thank you Danish , your a good man 👍🏼
Everything I fell in love with was a lie- he was charming, kind, warm, affectionate and seemed so concerned for my comfort and well-being. Did I need a blanket around my shoulders while we sat on the couch? Did I need a drink of water? The affection was just perfect. Everything seemed like a perfect dream and met my needs exactly- not too much. Not too little. But within a few months that all started to change. The very first time he was displeased with me about something to stupidly minor I can't even recall what it was over, he walked out and ignored me for a week. That left me in turmoil - was it over? Would I ever hear from him again? Then when he decided to come back it was all about how I was wrong and how I'd upset him. The mutuality in the relationship had gone and the tables had started to turn so the focus was on him and his needs, but also that was the turning point where he started telling me all of my faults. For three painful years I kept hoping I'd see the man he was in those first few months. I really thought that's who he was and the man I was seeing, the cold, hard man was a victim of circumstance as there were so many things going wrong in his life and he kept telling me "You know everything that's happening to me so just be more understanding". He trained me so I never felt able to express my needs or desires - he was ALWAYS going through more than me and as his partner I needed to support him, not add to the pressure he was already under. Just like a puppet he pulled the strings and I moved the way he demanded and felt selfish and wrong for wanting anything that is considered normal in a relationship.
I learned to believe in God. God will never abandon you. Your higher self will never abandon you. I believe in law of attraction. The betrayal trauma had me trippin for a year now so I'm trying to not care so much.
I learned that there is pure EVIL. I didn't understand that until this last relationship. I was a perfect target after end of marriage to a high traits narc. BLESS
