Transform your relationship: www.bene-ri.co... I help hard-working men deepen their relationship, ensure a secure connection and live passionately with their woman without ever sacrificing their own goals.
@@christopherrobin361very true. It’s hard to risk that because it could be years of being led on just because you decided to be deliberately open and selfless to someone who was effectively a stranger at the start
@@dblackout1107realest sh*t fr. You think they like you back just as much but in reality they just want to quickly go through you to then move on and leave u like u never meant anything to them.
I'm a gamer. Married a farmer. I love it. Screens are overrated; exploring life and starting a family is much better. You won't remember the hours you played or days you worked, you'll remember the time you spent with your SO and kids..
Nah I definitely remember the first time I fought and killed Miraak. I did not have levels capped and Miraak was a fucking monster who made me genuinely swear. Or the first campaign in Baldurs Gate 3, or the first time I played Diablo. The time I beat the Infamous Series, especially Second Son, hell I have lots and lots of gaming memories. I remember them more fondly than family events because all my elders died so we spread out a long time ago anyway since the organizers died 😂.
As a fellow Gamer I understand what are you saying, but don't speak like gaming is a bad thing it is from a very few thing which kept me shane in Hard times of my life, When there is no one Around Arthur Morgan on His Hourse's back Riding to Rhods is all that supported me fella. No matter what happens at the end of the day it's my alone time with my gaming console which is peaceful than engaging with any Existing Human being around me.
Yall he’s not talking about prioritizing time with your extended relatives or drinking buddies… it’s about an SO, kids, your OWN family and home which is incomparable.
I've learned through my relationship that you can express your needs and desires to a partner, but if he doesn't understand or is too self-centered in his love (ego), you can't force him to change. It's incredibly painful to love someone and to ask to feel special, only to receive nothing in return. Ultimately, you need to walk away. This might be the only way for him to understand, though he might never realize it or care. If he doesn't, it just means he wasn't the right one for you. When someone truly loves you, they want to see you smile and show that they're thinking about you. ❤ great video, I loved it❤
I unknowingly ended up doing this. I never meant to hurt her this way but I did without realising it. Wasn't until 2/3 weeks after she dumped me that I realized I had been a bit of a jackass to her. I apologized for it by sending her a sort of accountability letter
Funny how people with this mindset rarely are with someone together, because in reality there is not THE RIGHT ONE, but rather more compatible, less compatible and not compatible at all. My gosh, this mental gymnastics woman will do is just embarrassing.
@@RaymondBoeijen You do understand, that this can be justified? I want to figure out, if you‘re both at fault (maybe equally or some more than the other) or if just one party is to blame. Can you tell me, why you dismissed it? Did you dismiss it in the beginning or only later in the relationship, because her „problems“ weren’t actually real problems but she craved drama?
@@luwado Yes, women love this sort of ideas... if only it worked as prescribed!! But we NOW know, it works like this when they are close to 30... no way this works in their teens and twenties. They'll take it waugh, all the cash and prizes and trips etc... but at about 30 they commit to it.
I dont even date since my gf died in covid idk why this video makes me wanna cry. I did I best I could for her. Always trying to be better but idk why this makes me feel so sad
Its important to do things together but also to have separate hobbies, we camp and concert but he loves fishing and i paint and draw, we went through this stage were thats all he wanted to do was sit drink and watch tv it ruined our marriage for 6 years but we are over it now and finally making plans again
This is what killed my marriage with my ex wife. She wanted to do anything and everything together. She didn't have any hobbies, or friends, or anything. No matter how hard I tried to get her to do these things, it just never happened. She'd never take any responsibility for any of her actions, and all she would do is stay at home and be miserable. She refused to let me do anything by myself. I couldn't hang out with friends alone, I couldn't go fishing alone. Grocery shopping alone. And even if I did do any of those things alone, I would have to be constantly texting her. And I couldn't be gone for more than a couple hours.
I agree with this advice, but some people don't enjoy living a very adventurous lifestyles and like finding love in the little things in life like being in the presence of their partner, tackling problems together, doing small gestures for each other. Living adventurously most likely wont be the solution for all couples in this predicament the wider message is just about spending quality time with each other and communicating what that looks like for each partner in the relationship.
Definitely, I think one can interpret the same point towards making sure the activities you do with your partners are ones where you both remain present and engaged with the activity you are doing and the people you are doing it with
ironically he plays into the very same toxic norms as any other "male self help" influencer. Maybe it's okay for men to not have all their shit together. Maybe it's okay to not always be spontaneous and adventurous. Maybe it's okay to be open to different forms of love. Also I love the cognitive dissonance between "if you aren't adventurous she wont be adventurous" while within 5 minutes he's talking about how immature it is to play games. He's playing a game, just one that preys on endorphines rather than anxiety
Being egotistical and emotionally detached I struggle to work it out with my girl. Often when we argue I just look how to "win" instead of undestanding her. It doesn't help that we are in a LDR and every moment spent like this is a scarce moment completely wasted. We had a breakup about 1 year into relationship but found our way back together. She indirectly brought me back into religion. I may not be the best man/boyfriend but giving my best to build something just outside of my emotionally percieved reach. Couple of days ago, she broke down in tears as she started to hold more water because of pills. It was my time to show the best of me. I said that I love her and will support her no matter what. The next day we went to a lake and she wasn't anxious anymore because she knew that she can count on me. We decided to loose some weight together. Me, after gym break, loosing some fat after surgery and she loosing the water. We just have to empower eachother in a relationship and beautyfull things can happen, things that can change you sometimes even fundamentally.
I don't care what are your cons, because what matters the most is that you are trying to be the best human version of yourself. Even if you are (or used to be) egotistical or emotionally detached, the fact that you're at the very least trying to improve on that is a HUGE W for you and your future SO
I am unemotional by nature as well. May I ask how you got into a relationship in the first place? That barrier seems uncrossable for me because of the aforementioned problem.
@@Natogoon A girl really wanted to be with me and that was it. I had many girls telling their feelings to me or asking for a number but this time I decided to try relationship instead of saying "ok, and now what?" to her like to many others. I never really was looking for a girl, it just came naturally. I never had to do any pick up lines or anything like that. I guess I was enough as I was for her because we even had our first official date (as in going someplace nice together) 2 years after being together.
@@Natogoon I just learned to be curious about peoples lives and the people started liking me. My gf always says that when she goes somewhere nobody is talking or smiling to her and when she is with me, suddenly everybody is happy and likes to talk. I thing its about the appearance. I appear pretty confident and am on the bigger side (187cm tall, 115kg weight(muscular)) and thus people feel comfotable, especially if you let them shine instead of you
@@percivalyracanth1528 I'm currently a novice in learning German so I had to look up the meaning of the real word to understand the pun. That was a really good play on words!
I’m trying SO HARD to remember this way of living with a wife, 2 kids, and a baby on the way. When we’re able to have a date once or twice a month, it’s so hard not to just relax and go to dinner. But I think this idea of chasing nature is very important, and we’ve both always loved nature… I want to work on crafting my life so that I can take her places with and without the kids. Thanks for this video, man.
I usually to not watch videos addresses to men but something about this "brutally honest video" had me intrigued! To be quite honest, I expected to find some "red pill" woman hating and bashing video... Instead I found this gem... This is truly a wonderful video with an gem of wisdom and advice for a great and respectful relationship! Just wanted to let you know that men following your advice will be defenetly in a happy and successful relationship with their woman of their dreams! So, thank you for posting this video! 🙏❤️🙏
Bro I thank you for starting your channel because you recently become a daily regimen for me something that I have to have every week. I love that you have the ability to draw out our hearts, I'm sure I'm not the only one that feels your sincerity to the point to where it moves us to actually want to do something.
I never thought that the relationship advice most people need is from a german (a guess) guy who suggests people to jump off a cliff with their lover. On the serious side, you are truly speaking facts and I hope that your messages spreads through the world and sticks in people’s mind to make their life better. And of course appreciate you for attempting to change lives of others’
I love this video, I started seeing all this “how to manipulate the woman you like” stuff on this platform. I could tell it was toxic. There is a woman I’ve met recently that I’m really into, the feelings appear to be mutual and we’re both in messy places right now. However I think I’m falling for her and I don’t want to manipulate her or not be myself with her. If I have to play games to keep her around then it would never work. Thanks for this.
Damn man. This is great. Definitely taking notes for my next relationship. I’m trying to be the best man I can for not only myself, but for my future relationship.
Not in a relationship right now but started working heavily on myself at the start of this year. I'm super greatful to have access to this advice at 23 even to simply reinforce the healthy life I want to live. Alot of the lessons that enabled change for me this year tie in so nicely with what you've said, and having you frame them from your relationship experience is invaluable. The taking responsibility/accountability is such a big leap that everyone needs to make in all stages and areas of their life. It's truly liberating when you realise that you can often improve those situations/hardships that seem insurmountable. At the very least approaching them with accountability puts your best foot forward in any scenario. Thanks for taking the time to share this.
I’m also 23 and struggling on where to focus my energy in self improvement. Could you please share your sources for these lessons you’ve learned or a good place to start?
@@ianfussinger356 Check out the book The Five Levels of Attachment by don Miguel Ruiz Jr. It's a good launching point for learning self-love, which is the first step in self-improvement.
That's also a sign of maturity. I wish more men also saw that their worth isn't about getting a woman or a hot woman. We are here to find our match, not to impress someone who's hard to please :)
Great video. I’m a young guy and I’m in a relationship for about a month now and there isn’t anything wrong with us but this video showed me I could show my love for her more than just say it. I haven’t had many role models in my life to show/tell me how to express love to a partner so I really do thank you for making this video.
Honestly this is for males that werent broken in the childhood ,by the circumstances that they coudnt change..and got ptsp... I m hitting 40 next year..divorced after 11 yrs of mrg,wich was without intimacy,I also at one moment lost interest in intimacy in it...emotionaly destroyed,..i had a lot of mistakes... Finding peace in solitude now...and moments when my son come to me at weekends...I gave up love and intimacy a long time ago..😢😢.. It is what it is....☹️.. Anyhow God bless you bro..
Trust me man anxiety in men comes as a feeling of no control and psychology tried to let you use your past and diagnosis as an excuse but no change is always possible
@@Bene-Ri That's pop-psychology and over-simplistic. There are a lot of details, if you had a rough childhood but otherwise had a role model in life it will have minimum impact on you; if your mother was depressive and cannot tune into you as a baby because her lack of expression then the rough childhood will become a mountain to climb since you do not have the ego strength developed to pull yourself out of that; that is a neurological fact; get some more detail instead of pretending to be Anthony Robbins.
@@nielslund8343 I hate when people make the "I had problems and turned out fine" argument because it ignores the entire process of **getting help**. Like, I guarantee all those people had mentors, acceptance, community etc. And the ones that fall apart? well they're like me. They sought help, and everything collapsed around them. It's now just a permanent void. The only reason I continue is spite and comfort in myself, even if no one else will ever understand it.
Great stuff, if you have a woman who enjoys the outdoor life. At 44 she has never enjoyed the outdoors. However I love hiking, camping 4wd, fishing, diving. She prefers netflix n sleeping. Totally agree that doing these things together is much better.
I totally understand you, my woman has social anxiety, so I have a hell of a time trying to get her outside the house. And because of that I feel a large disconnect because of that. Sadly when I married her I thought I was receiving an activity partner, but I was shamefully mistaken 😢
@nathanislove Wow, mine has anxiety, too. I think a big challenge today is finding a spouse, partner that doesn't have some form of mental depression, trauma, anxiety, etc. I think it's not so much "how to have a happy marriage" but to raise happy children in a loving family. They, in turn become happy adults, prepared to enjoy a truly loving relationship with another adult.
If she have children, work and at home do all the daily cooking and cleaning then she is... tired! Average woman is by 30% physically weaker than average man which means she can tolerate less weight of life until she gets burned out and there is no energy left for hiking or bedroom and other stuff. If you add more burden to her than what she had under her own or parents roof before she began to live with you then this issue is caused by you.
@rengurenge, I thought women were strong and independent and could do everything a man can do? 🤔 Is she a holocaust victim because she has to take food, clothes, and dishes and out them into machines that do the work for her, and all she has to do is push a button? This kind of a life is what she voluntarily signed up for. Nobody told her to be a mom and a girl boss at the same time. Nobody told her to adopt the mental load she has. She chose that all on her own. Therefore the issue lies with herself and no one else. So if she has no energy to do the fun stuff or the bedroom or anything else that maintains the relationship, then that's all on her. She's responsible for her own life.
@@rengurenge not doing any of these kinds of activities will just make you lazy and bored. Ofcourse there are times when you or your partner are tired but making time for these things regularly will make it better, not worse. Especially when your partner has anxiety you want them to get out once in a while, fewer social interactions and unique experiences will only increase the anxious mind's resistance towards initiating those kinds of things. It like how it's much easier to go to the gym when you're already going regularly.
I thought this was gonna be some BS video, but some of his points actually made me rethink some things, helped me realize I've stopped doing some of the things that I used to do. that reminder at the end was also something i needed to hear, cause he was totally right, I did feel accomplished after watching a 20 minute long video of some random dude talking, but I haven't done anything and nothing has changed yet. gonna make some changes now, spread the love everyone, god bless.
I fvcked up too. Took me 3 years to finally get a grasp on that simple fact. Context applies, but does not change the one outcome that will always be waiting for us: you are all you can control, so the fault should always be with you and nothing else. Because only that is a productive, positive perspective. The rest is for sad music.
One of the basic principles of stoicism, it's very easy to run around trying to control all the variables so they come out in your favour. The foolish part of it is that there's always another variable. The only thing in your control is how you react.
A flawed perspective. The fault is not always in you, but it's still your respnsibility to get yourself to a happy place. The idea that the fault is always with you lead to toxic bullshit like "it's your fault that you were cheated on".
@@hunivan7672 the fault has to lie with you for the simple reason that "you" are the entirety of things you control. It is of zero use to seek the fault elsewhere, so you focus on your part. It's not a moral issue, but a practical one. Comparing it to someone else cheating on you means you are missing the point.
@@jibberism9910 The issue is that you’re not all knowing, people lie, manipulate or even tell their deluded perception of themselves. Further, you don’t have even absolute control over yourself. Truth is over practicality and in the LONG RUN its more practical, because reality doesn’t work that way.
I have been in so many relationships with women who either were not good for me or I was not good for at the time. Only just recently did I finally decided to take a break after trying to find love for years and start learning to be more loving towards myself by doing things that are good for my soul and body, and let the rest fall into place, whether I meet a new woman or not. This video helped a lot man, thank you
I am so happy that I found this video! It was an eye opener that as a man I am simply not willing to put in so much effort into something that I experienced several times to be heartlessly fragile. Hopefully one day this changes.
Unfortunately for some men like myself, it takes losing a good girl to make them realize they need to change. I hope most men that watch this video learn from you. I wish I watched this vid before letting things go with my ex.
17:50 made me tear up cause I been needing to hear those words so badly. None of my guy friends have said it, none of the men in my life…. Thank you man
Currently watching this video 10 months after breaking up with the love of my life. Amazing video - i wish i heard this back then. I’ll take these lessons with me in case we ever work things out
Yea man, I agree on the gift part man. I give my girl an expensive bracelet and a Personal Note. She cries over the personal Note I gave her. Buying a gift could make her happy but you need to make it special for her too.
I pressed on this video because I always like to hear and learn more about relationships, I myself have been in quite a few relationships. And a lot of them I had issues like the ones you mentioned, however my current relationship made me realise that all the games and bad women that treated me bad were not for me. I realised quickly and always left the relationship early. But now I'm in a 9 months already committed relationship. And I've been doing my part. Everything you mentioned in this video is exactly what I do and I can tell my gf is happy and feels love. Yes her situation does happen to make her depressed a lot and in a bad mental state. But every time she is with me she tells me she feels happy and loved so I believe I'm doing my part, and so does she. Your video is very well structured and well made. And yes I have seen a lot of men who do the things you said. I've done it as well with previous relationships, some people really don't understand how they're the problem. And use their partners as chores buddies or a more demographic way of saying it. Using their partner like a "slave" the respect and love nowadays is very bad because both sides of the gender don't understand and get offended easily and don't communicate their feelings. Good video you earned a new sub and I hope you have a good day siree!!
I’d argue most men do, but women don’t have interest in those ones because they aren’t an exciting loose cannon. They’re traditional and therefore boring. Welp I and anyone else that way can’t help that. Nor should we really have to “help that.” Not like it needs to be changed. Because then you’re not authentic either
Me and my partner already split up but this video really helped me reflect on the ways in which I failed and should have taken greater accountability, which I've been really struggling to reflect on. Thank you and I hope I can apply the advice you've given me in future relationships 😊
Just remember guys, you can fix a relationship and help it grow into something beautiful. You cannot fix a person who refuses to help themself or fix themselves however. If you have trully tried and given your all yet things remain the same its time to ask yourself if you should leave not only for you but for your partner, so you dont continue to be a crutch. Do not give yourself away to make someone else feel slightly better.
Thank you Bene… It’s nice to realize that the thoughts I’ve been having recently aren’t just me bringing myself down, but instead taking accountability for once in my life. I wish I understood this before my last relationship… But at least I understand it now whereas so many other people live their whole lives never figuring it out at all. I know what I need to improve on and what to stop doing. I’m not enough of a man as I thought and I still have ways to go… but I finally see the path I need to take after so many years and I hope God gives me another chance and I promise that I won’t mess up a third time…
I have struggled with mental illness due to an abusive household as a child and genetic factors. When I am overwhelmed I shut down and physically can’t move or even speak sometimes. It’s something I’m working on with mental health professionals. I’ve also lost almost 60 pounds, found a gig that at least pays something (while not a lot it’s becoming more lucrative each day), deleted social media off my phone (except RU-vid), and several other habits I’ve started to change my life and turn it around. However, my wife does not see these improvements. Or if she does, they are not enough for kind words. She still puts me down, criticizes me, raises her tone with me, and generally has a negative attitude towards me at all times. Is it too late for us? Did I ruin our marriage already and she will never see me as a good husband again?
Wtf bro, she sounds mentally ill herself. You probably didn't do anything wrong, she's most likely just using you and bullying you for her pleasure. Honestly you might be better off leaving her
My girlfriend had crushing anxiety. She never comes out to my family’s cottage in the summer for a vacation, she never wants to go to sit down restaurants, she can’t hold down a part time job because she has panic attacks(take into account that we’re college students so it’s not as big a deal now, but it will be), we still haven’t had sex even though we’ve been dating for over 2.5 years since high school, her family treats her like shit and she is always struggling with finding motivation to ever do anything, so she’s very lazy. I love her to death, but these issues have become maddening to me overtime since we’ve dated for over 2.5 years. I want to do more things with her “inside the bedroom and outside”, but it seems that she never gives me anything to work with. I think it’s affecting my psyche too because I find myself getting very easily angry whenever I’m with her. She complains about every little thing, yet she never puts in any effort to do anything to fix the problem. I don’t know what I should do. One part of me always feels like she was my soulmate and I could picture her being my wife, but another part of me feels like we already are married because we never have sex, we bicker constantly and we don’t do any “adventurous” things together. Every time now when we have a happy moment together, it always ends up being unraveled by one thing or another by the time we part. I know I should be doing more, but she’s sucking the life out of me and she gives me nothing to work with, so it drains my motivation to even try anything else at this point. If anyone in the comments has any advice for me then I would appreciate it greatly. I really don’t want to lose her, but it seems that losing her might be the only option in order for me to possibly find happiness.
Start your healing journey and if she is by your side during that process, wanting to heal all of her wounds as well, then you both can grow together and the relationship will improve. If you began your healing journey and she does not want to do that, then its normal for people to grow apart. Eventually you will align with someone who wants the same things as you, because it’s worth it. Feeling like you and another can feed off eachother’s energy in positive ways is the most fulfilling part of being in a healthy relationship. A relationship should be inspiring, especially while you’re young and still figuring out what’s best for you longterm.
Leave her im in an 8 year relationship like that, i get more fever than sex even that im doing most of the work in the relationship, sometimes the juice isn't worth the squeeze and then you wonder where all those years went, she thretens with suicide every time i try to bring breakup. Might aswell kms so the bitch cannot bother me anymore.
Honestly? It seems that you already know the answer yourself. If you haven't had sex for 2.5 years, she is draining your energy, don't want to do anything etc., then what's the point? She clearly needs to work a LOT on herself, and in the end she is the only one in control of where she will go in life. It's not your responsibility. You need to worry about YOU! You can't save a person, that doesn't want to be saved. And as cold and cynical as it may sound, I'd say that an ultimatum is necessary here: either she do her very best to get her sh*t together, or she is on her own. And if she truely wants to be you, she will listen to you and take action. Otherwise you need to move on. If you don't, it will eventually suck the soul right out of you. And there are simply too many girls out there to let one ruin your happiness. I know it might be tough and brutal, but sometimes life is just a b*tch. And you have to do things that really sucks, but simply are necessary. Anyway, that just my two cents, all the best to you. I'm sure you will figure it out. Stay safe.
I’m married to a chronic depressive person for 27 years. Don’t expect your girlfriend to get “fixed”. You need to think about yourself and your own future wellbeing because your girlfriend ain’t.
@@maxpain178 it’s easy, just gotta be in the right place, have social skills, smell good and be in shape. The hard part comes after u get the girl. It’s like a job you cannot take a brake from. You can do it king, loving is something wonderful.
@@paulosuarez1907 thank you for the advice, but sometimes there are simply times when some people don't get along with one another. I am a very complex person who does so much that I literally wouldn't find time for myself to look for anyone, and that's fine by me. Anyways, don't want to brag too much about it, but wish you well too!
I had a relationship for five years. Come to a close on mutually OK scenario Financially, for an extended period of time in my lifestyle is kind of unusual and that I mean, most people would consider it unlivable… When you started talking about causing effect, self responsibility and self agency, that’s what I’m looking for because before I ever get in another relationship I need to know that I’m doing for myself too Some of what you’re talking about is beyond simply the bond between two people About knowing where you want to get to in life going there living life with quality instead of the prisoner of routine … The language we carry and use daily in our heads spoken written, however I’m in major process of metamorphosis. I don’t think Mike conditions really qualify to give you that call. I wanted to write this and say thank you for constant that is valuable and meaningful for people who actually put the effort the attention into this. Have a great weekend
I must admit that I don't really feel great after watching this video. I'v been keeping myself from engaging in romantic relationships with women for the last three years because of several of the things you are voicing in this video. It's great advice, and the fact I don't feel good after watching this video goes to show for the truth of your words as well. I'v never seen any of your videos before. Thank you for taking up such an important mantle. Men today need good guidance, especially from other men. Thank you!
This is something that I wish I had watched just two weeks ago! Hahaha! I think that I had a chance that I let slip through my fingers. I feel that it was this week that I really pushed it to the point where there's no going back. It just so happened to be that the first point was plaguing me, and I so so so wish that I had seen this video sooner. THANK YOU!!!
It hit me like a truck that I do these games when I text because of insecurity. If I was confident in myself then it would follow that I would try and connect with ppl. But instead I play this manipulative game because I think manipulation is the only way I can get someone to like me.
As a young man in the era of poor male role models this video is extremely refreshing and validating. I am madly in love with my girlfriend of 6 years. I relate to having been anxious and immature when I was younger but am fortunate to grown into a confident genuine person. What you preach in this video is so important for people to hear and understand. This is healthy masculinity and I’m 100% for it.
I think there’s something wrong with me because despite having a pretty good amount of success with women I’ve never ended up in an actual relationship and while I do get lonely sometimes I watch videos like this and all I can think is that it sounds like so much work. I can’t imagine being so emotionally intertwined with someone. I’ve been alone my entire life (in terms of stuff like this, obviously have friends and family) and I just don’t know how to function otherwise. I love being alone and independent. Am I broken? Avoidant? Autistic? I don’t know. I know it’s not right to view relationships transactionally but I can’t really picture the returned benefit of having to do all this stuff of making sure someone is taken care of, meeting their emotional needs. Sex i can take it or leave it, emotional intimacy, I convinced myself I don’t need it. I would be a terrible boyfriend and I would feel terrible for any girl that ended up as my girlfriend.
It is a lot of work. Most people will continuously fail at having good relationships. The important question is , do I want a life partner (and children) or not? People who desire this will continuously fail, but derive enough from the pursuit it will probably be bearable.
Emotional vulnerability will generally be a great cause of suffering, so it is wise to be wary. The returned benefit from all this effort is having children for a reasonable amount of money and the higher chance of having a monogamous partner in your old age. Very rarely people strike gold and find a partner that really loves them and objectively make their lives better (I roughly estimate this to be somewhere between 5-15% of marriages). Hopefully, this can be fuel for reflection.
I mean some people just don’t really need to be in a relationship. I don’t know you, so I have no idea if that’s the case for you, but it’s worth at least considering whether you actually would be happier dating or if you’re good with just hanging out with friends
I regret so much we had our issues but she was there for me but i allowed my pride and ego get the best of me. now its too late and shes gone (5 years together and 2 years on and off) she was really the best thing to happen and showed me so much about being a man, I wish i saw this a little sooner i failed her.
A 23 year old that knows more than the 40 year old I was with who couldn’t own up to any of his poor decisions and just blame others. You’re already way ahead of many grown boys these days.
It doesn't get easier. Men in their 50s and 60s still have a hard time taking personal accountability. And so so many are just looking for surrogate mothers so they can be lazy and utilize all of your physical and mental labor for free.
holy fuck this video popped up for me at the right time bro. thank you so much, its validated all the beliefs and actions ive been investing into this new relationship I’m in. and after watching this, i think i’m doing just fine but that doesnt mean i can’t keep improving.
Thanks for this I was unloyal to my ex girlfriend and i regretted it, never saw her side of things and argued her all the time. Lied about her to my parents who hate her know but things have changed and we’re talking again and meeting soon. I really want to make it work n all. I still suffer from panics attacks and depression from what happened before but so is she and we’re working on it It just feels right when talking to her again I’m currently in alcohol withdrawal from becoming an alcoholic again and im doing it for her and myself to better myself for her and to better my life I’m also quitting smoking for her I get so anxious about everything and i feel lightheaded most the time and sick but i push through and am getting help Seeing videos like this inspire me to become a better man Thanks dude
These were very eye-opening points and I appreciate your perspective, man. I'm in a 6 1/2 year relationship myself and I found what you shared very insightful. Thank you for making this video
Adventure is the furthest from my worries!!! Safety is the most important in bedroom so no contradictions! No lies even small ones! Classy men is the only important thing in life! We don’t plays games and we hold back all we have for once we are secure completely even the best sx and all!! We can’t afford to give all to the wrong person so we slowly unfold!
Funny how Im not even in relationships but watching this video? Guess Im just looking for a tip and use it when Im actually in relationship, thanks man.
@@nef36 You need the ability to not be away from each other, and when you are together, you should do nothing or, at the most, stare each other in the eye for five hours straight. Otherwise it's not true love and dump dump time
Thanks so much for making this video, today i felt like i was missing something in my relationship, i really needed a voice to tell me what i was doing wrong, and god i can relate to all of this stuff, im now going to be better than before. ❤
I wish I had seen this video when it came out. I started dating a girl and she's the only girl I've ever been with, she's such a unique beautiful interesting human being, exactly my type. We didn't have amazing chemistry from the get go but it was growing over time. The relationship only lasted 6 weeks because I discovered she was seeing another guy since before we got together. It hurts so much, part of me believes if I had been doing these things something could've been different. I work 4 hours away so I stay in hotels during the week and would only see her on the weekends which made it even harder. She lied to me the entire time and I still don't know why. I'm not without fault, I was doing some of these things but not to my fullest effort and others hardly at all. I still miss her dearly and only want the best for her despite her using me throughout what I thought was genuine. I can't make the same mistakes with any other woman in my life. Thank you.
As a woman I say don't take the blame here. She was clearly at fault, having another man all along. I understand you miss her but know that you will learn about your own standards from this experience and build a truly connected and loving relationship in your future with a person that deeply loves you.
Some of it is a bit situational, some stay abroad for work long periods of time, or even many short periods. Then you have to make the time special when you are home.
I feel like I have something that’s really worth holding onto, but there’s a pretty blaring problem that I’m going to address with her soon. I try to make her feel as loved as possible and I love her so much, but I feel like she doesn’t try to make me feel loved in the same way. Not from a lack of love, but maybe out of ignorance of the situation, or something. I know she loves me and is attracted to me but I don’t think she has this habit of showing it in the same way. No spontaneous little things, or big things. She’s not a particularly spontaneous person, which as I’m writing this I kind of just realized that this might be a significant part of why I think there’s some imbalance. I think that’s just part of my love language that hasn’t entirely been there. I kind of wanted to delete this for a second but I’m not going to. This video was great, and my motivation to write a comment just helped me realize something important about my relationship that I’ll bring up with my partner later (she’s on vacation and asleep). Thanks, and good luck to everyone else that’s here
A lot of women are like this , it's all about how you can serve them. At the very least you should communicate with her about your needs and see how she responds.
This guy actually has a real point, it’s true that we might take time to bloom and radiate good energy due to our menstrual cycle and how it also affects our emotions towards trauma triggers and our ability to enjoy things, feel confident or just be energetic. It might take a few days or weeks, and it might feel unfair or difficult in the starting process, but the consistency is what actually makes us start to radiate positivity every day and connect on a secure, deeper level. I recommend you guys try it, because you’ll probably be rewarded by unblocking a whole new leveled up version of your girl or at least see her more beautiful, smiling and happy in the day to day life like she was when you first met her.
It's been about 9 months since my gf broke up with me and listening to this really hurts...I feel I was all these things for her and did the best I could but it just wasn't enough. We were seeing each other on and off again at the beginning of this year but it seems that now its officially over. I'm trying to move on but I can admit I'm not over her and still think about all the intricacies of our relationship. I loved her and I truly tried to show her love and make her feel beautiful and worthy of love, but honestly sometimes love isn't enough. I've always been self critical and I'm trying to take lessons by analysing how I could have done more and it hurts. I don't know if I really could have been a better partner for her. I gave everything I had and often it felt unreciprocated, but that was okay because she was always enough for me.
Just woman moment. They can't feel same feelings man can feel. That's from my experiences with women. It's a very hard game and it's almost always a loosing one. Don't try to rationalize her decisions. It's pure chaos and emotions. Live for yourself and for people you care (preferably your bros). Try to find something you can do differently every day, even if it's minor differences. You'll be good, trust me
It takes two, even if she has things she'd prefer you doing, she still didn't communicate so that you could grow with her. Don't beat yourself up, keep doing the best you can and eventually someone that appreciates you will come along.
I wish I had seen this video while I was still together with my girlfriend. She ended up breaking up with me last week and I believe if I implemented your advice our relationship would have worked out.
I knew you were German! The background and your accent did it for me. Anyways dude this is a great video and I certainly needed to hear this. Been in a relationship for 3 years and it’s my first real one too. I’m 21 now and still learning how to be a man. This just gave me the confidence to leave all that childish shit behind and change my mindset. Danke bruda 🙏🏽
I was with my Ex for over 6 years. The one thing I learned is you’re not going to know it all like you think you do. Don’t be afraid to give love a try just because you think you’ll f*ck it up. Just be the best husband, boyfriend, fiance, and best friend YOU can be for that girl. One thing I take pride in from my last relationship was that I did a lot of positive things for her, and I was able to set her up for success. That’s all that matters
This video really resonated with me. I am a little more than a month into my first relationship and have noticed myself overthinking a lot due to my insecurities. I think I'm very similar to the old you, with an anxious attachment style. Luckily no damage has been done to our relationship and everything is going great. Thanks for this wake up call, I've got a lot to work on.
I have no need to watch this video because i to am in a nearly 5 year relationship in November, but god damn its refreshing to here a normal guy talk about normal guy things, keep up Gods Work!!
I would have said the same thing a year ago about my 8 1/2 year relationship with my bf until I slowly started to realize I've been the only one communicating, slowly starting to feel more and more unfulfilled. Sometimes things sneak up on you, and you don't know how to recognize it.
My biggest mistake was never taking the mother of my children out, all we did was stay home. I always tried but arguing always ends up happening so that really stopped me from trying
I'm in an amazing relationship with and amazing fiance but i really wish i saw this video years ago. Im 33 but I made all these mistakes for the first 30 years of my life. I really hope some young guys are watching this. Also, cows sneezing are hilarious
Let me ask you this, I'm genuily interested and wanting for an answer: what makes a woman worth all that hassle? Or is that not an hassle? And how come? But even if it's not an hassle, why have a woman (besides for raising a family)?
If you find the proper woman everything just works dude, speaking as someone who found her. She’s my best friend and closest ally in the war against life.
@@KanyeKetchup i don't like that. I don't want to treat people in an expendable way and I also don't want to be used and thrown out. I connect emotionally too fiercely. I have a past of enmeshment. I find women such a disappointment.
Bingo. He's right, you can do anything to a woman but bore her. Is the constant jester work and tireless sacrifice, leadership, etc. worth it? 99/100, no.
Love the video. There are definitely some very good points in this. But hey fellas if you're doing all this and you don't see any kind of reciprocation in it just walk away.
Thanks for your words Man! I really feel what you say, but, loving your partner everyday and making she radiant should be mutual, because we also radiate when we receive ❤
Great video, I have to add one thing...This amzing guy must have like in Scotland or knoew lots of Scottish people, he keeps using Scottish experssions, and, with a German accent, it soulds brilliant!
