6 Dates That Build Chemistry & Connection 

I once invited a women out for dinner and a show at a local jazz club. Small and intimate, with a simple little dance floor, we ended up dancing almost the whole time and when I asked for the bill the owner walked over and said the night was on him as "You two laughing and dancing was so entertaining that the tables have been filled all night." Ended up walking around town talking and laughing until we ran across one of those hatchet throwing places.... where she discovered a talent she never knew she had. 😂 Best date ever.

You know I once told a chemistry joke, on a date. Got no reaction

A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient.

I like to go to mini golf or bowling on a date. I feel like if our minds are focused on a activity then it’s much easier to open up and be yourself rather than just sitting down at a restaurant and being the center of attention.

My favorite first date ever was when a guy went to a craft store ahead of time and bought some paint, paintbrushes, two canvases, and then got some wine. I brought a charcuterie board and other snacks. We both made a playlist ahead of time to play during the date. We sat at a local park here in Orlando and painted pictures then exchanged them. We were engaged in an activity, had a lot to talk about, and ended up exchanging the paintings after the date.

Important things: 1:13 First Thing ÷ Try Something New Together; 2:25 Second Thing ÷ Competitive; 3:36 Third Thing ÷ Introvert; 5:34 Fourth Thing ÷ Active; 7:35 Fifth Thing ÷ Multiple Spot; 8:51 Sixth Thing ÷ Show; and 11:12 to summarize all the told here. Dating places and places can be different, like you said Courtney. We are not all the same, and I can't deny that. The most important thing is to find the things that suits us, and they bring us joy. I can add that comfort zone is not a proper word how we are in current situations. The proper word would be to say that we are in the part of the things that we know. And also we should research the unknown, so that unknown can become the known as well. When I was listening to you Courtney, I remembered one quote that I saw a couple of years ago. It goes like this: "It's not the same if someone is rude and perverted. For perversion you need creation." But this can be another topic that can be covered as well La perfection madam.

I was dating a girl years ago and we decided to go out on a date without speaking to each other. Instead we brought a pad of paper and a pen and would communicate through writing on it. We went out to eat, we went to Walmart, and some other places to people watch. It sounds kind of weird, but it was a hit. It was a blast and the end of the date we had to decide when to break the silence which took forever since we were having such a good time and had not determined this beforehand.

I had coffee on the first date for 3 hours, bowling and playing billiards on second date and now we're going to chat and have coffee again lol this is also my first online date that has worked out for me

Worst 1st date fail is to go somewhere that she "knows people". Her friends work there, frequent friends partying there. NO. That is the last thing you want on a 1st date unless you want to share the 1st date with all her friends and be JUDGED by them too when you don't even know if you like her yet. Competitive date: Mini golf (in good weather of course). You are outside, playing a modestly competitive game, able to talk and laugh, it's inexpensive and fun. It's perfect. Something you can double date with also. Or do after a lunch or dinner date that you want to extend. NEVER go anywhere like a theater or where you should be quiet on a 1st date. You need to be talking. The best date extender and especially if you feel like time for sexual tension, Ice Cream Parlor. Get 2 cones and sit across from each other. Ham it up, get risque if the vibe calls for it (be sure). It's not only sexual tension, it can be hilarious. Make it a thing.

Escape rooms! Great 1st date idea! I promise you that nobody else has taken her for a date. Original, fun, intimate (literally in a closed room), and you have to interact and use wits to solve the escape. Intelligence is sexy!

As a woman, I really don't like a competitive date. Most of all, I look for a space of NO PRESSURE. Feeling easy next to someone is just the best. I love a walk. I love an art exhibit -if that is something you yourself enjoy. I don't want to feel like the man is doing something that bores him just to come across as interesting. I would also advice to use these on small doses, because it can be a bit much if you do one after the other (and then none, and then the other person complains the romance is off!). In my humble opinion, few things trump the art of conversation. Time flies when words flow.

Getting out of your comfort zone works for established couples as well. My longtime girlfriend and I were looking for someplace new to try, as we're driving up the street she suggested a place neither one of us had been before. It turned out it was a wine bar with candles everywhere very romantic and intimate. Lets just say the night ended well.

Went grocery shopping the first couple of dates with a girl who was an introvert, we had a great time and still together after 2 years. We’ve been on multiple dates (dinner, lunch, coffee and even walked around target). We paid for our own groceries even though I offered). It was good to see how we interact with each other, specifically when picking out produce for each other, needless to say, we wanted to see if our chemistry was organic.

These are all really great ideas, and they're pretty much the only kind of "dates" that I personally would actually WANT to go on with a girl! I'm a very open minded AND adventurous guy, so these would be perfect things to experience together with an equally energetic and adventurous girl! These "date" ideas would ALSO help show each other's true personality, character, and Spirit, and just how happy, cool, REAL, and easy going each partner actually is IRL, interacting with others, which may be one of the BEST reasons to use these ideas!

Great video and great advice as always. Thank you, Courtney!

Great suggestions! I always appreciate your content. I find it valuable.

Fantastic topic for today's video; I am planning to dive back into the dating scene after a two-year hiatus soon, and I am confident that these videos will significantly help refresh and refine my dating skills! Happy Sunday, Courtney and Fellow Viewers!

As a man, I need a Boss Babe that makes 6 figures, and can buy me a luxury car, shower me with gifts,. Only takes me to 5 star restaurants and vacation resorts. My money is mine, and her money is "our" money! I won't date any women that does not treat me like the King I am!

I definitely need this especially since the summer is coming up 😊

Great ideas! Saved to watch again. Thank you.

So many great ideas, definitely gonna use some of these! Thanks Courtney!

About 5 years ago I started doing art museums for my first dates. Sometimes with a meal before or after, or drinks, etc. Depends on how much I know the person and how much they’re wanting to commit for a first date. I think it has worked really well since it gives you stuff to talk about in a relatively quiet place that’s still public and comfortable. You also give the other person a really easy way to extend or cut short the date since most museums have several exhibits. Plus you get to be a supporter of the arts, which itself is well worth it.

Hi Courtney and friends. As always, a great video. These ideas can also be very useful when you are trying to rebuild connection or trust because it mitigates the anxiety that both partners feel ahead of time when they anticipate having awkward conversations in a restaurant. I now feel more ready for the mountain ahead of me.

The problem with these dates is they can really become expensive and when you are going on a lot of first dates.. it really becomes unaffordable. I save these types of dates for the second date because at least on a first date I know they haven’t cat fished me and going on a second date shows me they are interested in me further

I appreciate this video a lot. So much of "dating" content seems to be focused on making men feel bad about themselves for being inadequate and/or giving them manipulative strategies to cover up their perceived inadequacies. This video doesn't do that. It actually does what it says, and gives ideas for creating connection and not just trying to impress somebody with surface-level status. And I appreciate that

Thanks Courtney! This definitely helps 👌🏾

Courtney, great video, good ideas even for those who have been dating awhile. Your videos are so well put together and edited the continuity change in your body position for the wrap up was a little jarring, but only because you don’t do that.

I like the competitive, interactive date ideas. They do help with building emotional intimacy. It's important to take the time to build that connection with someone rather than getting straight down to business. I.e. the typical male approach to everything.

Indoor rock climbing is a great first date! Someone who I'm currently seeing loves it and she's been doing it since she was a kid. Now I'm going to go for my green card for climbing because I now love it as well.

This are timeless suggestions for dating. Thank you Courtney.

Great idea for a video. Creating connection has always been a challenge for me.

You can do things, yes, but ultimately you need to be able to focus on each other and get to know each other..aka conversation. Dinner dates don’t work because those turn into interviews. Drinks at a bar our lounge with a “scene” tended (I’m married) to work best. You can sit close enough to allow for body language and touching, people watch, listen to music, etc.

The jazz club idea is great. Very easy going, relaxed setting. You can talk but you’ll have to lean in to hear/be heard which helps with creating some physical contact.

Going to the zoo, a museum, and to a tree lined park for a walk/hike are solid first date venues. Carry a backpack, and ensure you have bottled water, hand wipes and a snack (make sure you know what she likes to snack on before hand). Be a gentleman! It’s not about you, it’s about ensuring your date (think of her as your guest) is comfortable and having a great time. Show her that you can plan, and look around corners. If she doesn’t appreciate it, be kind, close the date on, and move on to the next woman

Thanks for the video. When I lived in Louisiana, I used to like going to the plantation homes for dates. Those dates involved quite a bit of walking, but otherwise, they were pretty gentle. The scenery was pretty. While we were taking the tour, there was no pressure to maintain conversation. When we were just walking the grounds, we could talk. I guess that kind of date is similar to the museum date. I would like a museum or zoo date as well, but I don't remember going on any of those. I've only been on a few dates in my entire life, so I can't speak from much experience. How do you feel about "service dates?" Would a woman be likely to be turned off by a guy who took her to a Habitat for Humanity house build or a park cleanup of some kind? I don't think that would be a good idea for a first date, but maybe that would work for a later date. My mom always told me that I should try to take women on "project dates" where we worked on something together. That kind of date would help us see whether we were good at working together. In some ways, cooking together might fit the idea of a project date. I just wonder whether something with a more service-oriented goal might give each of us a sense of one another's values in terms of doing things in the community. I had a roommate who used to do some volunteer work for a local animal shelter. One of his date ideas was to take women to the shelter and let them play with the puppies. If things were different for me, I think walking older dogs would be a better fit for me. If I were good with dogs, teaching juvenile dogs to walk properly on a leash might be an interesting hobby. If I were well-liked by people at the shelter, maybe taking a date to walk the dogs would work. I'm okay with dogs, but I'm not a true dog person. As a result, I've never tried to make this happen. I'm allergic to most cats, so the idea of playing with the kittens doesn't appeal at all.

Really good video! I however am very unlikely to try dating again but it's good to understand ideas that do work for others. Intrinsically you need the right person to go on a date with.

Cleveland is one of those cities that has a ton of things to do but you don’t know where to start. Also, if you’re going downtown, good luck with parking depending on where you go.

I like going to Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha....Kansas City Zoo was fun too, also saw 'Adventures In Wild California' there at the IMax which is the best flying around 3-D by far.

In Courtney Ryan I trust in her content. So so very helpful.

My recommendation for the first date would be either the classic coffee date or a walk in the park, if you like slight activity. Imo these two are the best you can do to check for a general vibe with the other person. On the second date and onwards you can do something more fun

One of the last dates my wife and I went on was a bit of bar hopping. There's a few streets in our city that have some great upscale bars. We each got to choose two. One drink and an appetizer at each place. Over the course of several hours we had a great time exploring a few new places, some new drinks, and some great food. Got to talking with other people at the bars too which also helped.

Thanks for all this information Courtney. I have noticed strange relationship themed signs lately: Heart shaped objects, dreams about romance, longtime single guy friends going on first dates. These very well could be signs I am headed for a new relationship. If so, count me in.

This is next level content. Keep it up!

I feel as long as your spending time with each other thats all that counts, the how can differ from person to person.

More videos like these please!

Great ideas! I believe many engage in the "active" category, with close physical interaction, but not in the way you are suggesting... 🙂

Courtney, I have to say I've been watching your videos for a while when I have the time, but I have to say you have the most gorgeous eyes and an extremely gorgeous smile

Thanks for sharing.

Trivia nights are great for a first date, concert for second date, that has been the best for me, I make it to about the 5th date then im screwed lately 🤷‍♂️

I took one of my dates to a cookery class that had other people involved. In hindsight, whilst it was a superb time and a really nice idea, it's not the best 1st date. We were running around a kitchen trying to make a main course and didn't have time to talk much. And because other people were there, when we all sat down to eat what we had cooked, it wasn't very private. Definitely a good shot for a date if it's your 4th or 5th date and it's obvious you are both working very well together.

Happy Sunday, Courtney ❤

Once a guy, one of my school friends, his girlfriend is an introvert, they just chat from one room to another as a fun game while keeping everything indoors . He's in one room, she's in another. you got be creative! 😅

Wow I’m here early! But I definitely needed the ideas!

i can't say i'm a complete introvert, i just need the momentum. (something like a big turn on) once it's there, boom...fire 🎉 i can be very inviting, a big entertainer, good to be with as a friend or boyfriend

🥁🥁🥁🥁 Rolling For Courtney 💃

My favorite date so far was after a long day of classes. We broke the ice and relaxed with a couple games at the bowling alley, then got McAllister's and talked. You kinda had to be there and know us to fully appreciate it, but I will always advocate for an activity or trying something new before grabbing food and having deeper conversation.

When I was 16, my dad would take me hiking and climbing to this day I still love doing it. My boyfriend and I do this sometimes.

Anything that requires active rather than passive participation is typically a better idea, which is why going to a movie theater tends to be a poor first date recommendation. Stand-up comedy would be a great way of gauging your date's sense of humor and determining whether y'all vibe on the same frequency. It might also help weed out someone who is a prude if you notice that they may get easily offended. I think any activity that shifts the trajectory of the date away from "interview mode" is what you should be striving for.

Thanks!

Nice video. Lots of good ideas.

If you live in NYC, Miami or Toronto there is a place called The Puppy Sphere that does puppy yoga with bottomless mimosas, had multiple women tell me it was the best date they've ever been on, can throw dinner in after or brunch before depending which time you go.

Some of the best first dates I’ve been on were planned by the woman I was seeing at the time. 1. Outdoor wine tasting event in Brooklyn (we talked about wine all day long. I’m also a very very junior sommelier so it worked in my favor.) 2. A packed house comedy event (super playful. Each time the comedian asked for volunteers she would pull my hand up lol) 3. Sharing food at the park. We each brought cheese and wine on a bright and sunny day. (People watching was fun!) Some first dates that I planned 1. A hike and a picnic (we both showed our athletic side) 2. An indoor intimate music concert (vibes and getting to chat about the music) 3. A pasta making class. (We both love to cook). 4. Book store date. We grabbed coffee, learned a bit about each other and decided to check out some books.

Just came back from a dessert/ board game bar, and nearby dog park date. Playing Jenga and seeing the cute dogs mixed some variety from just talking to each other

1.Bubble tea 2. Walk in a local park (provincial/state park is even better if you live close by) 3. Rock Climbing 4.Arcade 5.Bowling 6.Golf Range / Mini Golf 7. Hiking 8.Bow and Arrow 9.Visit book store, pick out a book for each other 10. Botanical Garden 11. Butterfly Conservatory 12. Live music 13. Farmers Market 14. Ethnic food you've both never had before 15. Art Gallery 16. Cooking Class 17. Pottery Class (this suggestion is always well received) 18. Theme Park 19. Volunteering (clean up, kitchen, working with kids etc) 20. Cook a delicious meal at my place (with soft Italian music, candles, and nice food this is very romantic) 21. Horseback riding 22. Zoo 23.Beach + ice cream 24. Berry/fruit Picking (women love to gather, this is popular too haha) 25. World domination Courtney had bunch of good ideas (love the nails too). Not necessarily for first dates as some are time consuming, expensive, or require you have trust built already. Depending on her personality and interests I'll offer 2-3 options and let her decide. I find conversations flow easier when engaging in an easy activity like walking in nature, where a little silence is more natural than sitting directly across from each other. If she suggests we take the longer path or keep walking that's a great sign like Courtney mentioned. Hope this helps someone !

One of the first few dates my to be wife went on that was extremely fun was going to Universal Studios Island of Adventure in FL. We rode roller-coasters all day. While waiting in line we got to talk and get to know each other better. We had a blast! After that short trip we really bonded. Married for 20yrs now.

I've been talking to this girl for 3 years she lives in canada and i in cali and im thinking of going to see her this year. What would be an amazing date idea that she will never forget?

I love working out and going on walks with my spouse 🖤

I've never been on a date so this is great

Have you ever thought about putting a summary on the screen at the end when you do list kinds of videos like this? It’d be really easy to just screenshot it to be able to reference later.

Thanks.🎯

This years my year

I've never had a bad time at a hayride with a date. It's interesting where you find hay the following day!

I Love this ❤❤❤❤❤❤

A girl I dated really enjoyed walking all over the mall smelling different colognes and perfumes together, then eating a pretzel on the food court.

Another Great Video Love that Thumbnail Tho You Looking Hella Beautiful Makeup Always On Point Those Breathtaking Eyes Love Em Enjoy your Sunday Too Happy Magnificent Week Ahead Stay Bless N Be Safe AlwayS

Active. In Florida, most women who aren't obese sloths are all about the outdoors. Hiking, kayaking, find a new park, spring, or trail. A relaxed, natural environment where people feel at ease. Never not a hit and no wasting money on a restaurant. If the day goes well, arrange to go home and clean up, then continue the date that evening. I had some first dates last 8+ hours. Whatever you do, just be creative. If you are a sloth, just stick with Courtney's multiple locations. This is probably the most correct she's been that applies to all kinds of different women.

I can set up dates and have great first dates but I struggle to come up with stuff to do when you’ve already been on like 7 dates and thinking about going into a relationship. It still feels formal

Theres a study that looked at success of a 2nd date in heterosexual couples where one group had a date on a rickety bridge and the other group on the stable bridge. The rickety bridge group had a higher success rate than the other group because the bridge was more unstable and the couples experienced a more intense emotional bonding together. So the competitive date tip is a good idea. But please dont hurt yourselves!

I actually quite like theatre dates. It may sound old school and passive, but hear me out. You can usually pick a modern play, it could even be a comedy, and it is usually much more interesting than going to movies. Theatres with contemporary repertoire have a very special atmosphere. The other benefit is that you can wear a suit, and as Courtney says, girls love suits. It also gives her the opportunity to dress up and feel extraordinary. Plus after that, you have the perfect setup to have a bottle of wine and a ton of impressions and emotions to talk about.

Trivia night at a good brewery or restaurant!

So I think my worst date was a David Copperfield show. Not because the show really but the conversation after was awful. One word answers from her the entire night. Favorite was a Murder Mystery dinner. Engaging, we had to be creative, we had to work together to figure out the clues, ect ect ect. By the way, we won 😁. I haven't done this but I think an escape room (no not my bedroom, minds out of the gutter guys) but solving clues and troubleshooting I think can show your skills and their skills that may show skills that you like or dislike.

I saw some research showing that people who went on dates with a scary element like a rollercoaster, were more likely to go on second date because the hormonal response made them bond more. I am not saying this to be manipulative, but 1 date is not a ton of time to get to know a person, so going for dates that increases the likelihood of a second date makes sense to me. Maybe Im wrong, who knows, humans are unpredictable.

No no no Courtney, the location of the date does not create a chemistry and connection but the dating skills can create results. Some people are not playful some people are not able to listen, and some people are not able to tease or are awkward when it comes to teasing, and whatever place they choose it will not matter. Have seen one guy so great when it comes to dating that he was able to create a spark and great connection wherever he was.

I always go somewhere I’ve never been. This way if the date goes bad it’s not all bad.

I didn’t know you were into Jazz, that’s really cool!

hello courtney ryan and how your own day and night going and have you thought about starting your own podcast for youtube and spotify with your husband and the girls you have in your own videos in the future

Happy Sunday Courtney. Bring on the sunshine and the month of May.. we all need this. A walk in nature can be nice :)

Friday art gallery walks.

Glad to see you back, Richard! I am really looking forward to seeing more of your collection, especially some of the rarer items you mentioned. In one of your previous videos, you mentioned you were working on a book. Is that still in the works?

Can you make a video about casual dating/friendship date?

How long of time should be between dates 1, 2, 3, and so on?

I'll try the multiple spot as a first date next time. I usually do the competitive dates.

Took a date to a furniture store once, was a nice way to talk about each others design tastes (if your date is in to arts/design etc), a home, different room and decor can do fun roleplay in each setting like sit on a couch ask her to get you a beer from the fridge etc, light stuff, lots of jumping off points from here

Assuming it’s not too far for the person I want to see, I always suggest going to Crocker park for the first date

When is your anniversary?

On my 2nd date with my eventual wife, we went jogging 4 miles in the park... at night! It was her idea, and I think she thought I wouldn't be able to keep up with her. The competitive side of me kicked in, and I stayed up with her during the run. 13-years later, we still enjoy running together!

The last _first_ _date_ I went on was _I_ _think_ my best first date and it combined a few of these concepts. It started out as a walk at a near by park. I intended to _just_ to go in circles on the paved path tbh, but she wanted to go into the more forested part of the park, so it was also a little bit of a hike even though we neither ascended or descended (if there's a word for that other than hiking, idk b/c I'm an indoor person); so a little bit of activity & exploration. Then we sat down for a spell at a quick-service restaurant; I brought a little book thingy that has 1000 hypothetical questions and she seemed to be in favor of that (so I guess it wasn't a faux pas). Afterwards, she wanted to accompany me on a little errand I was otherwise going to do w/o her- we went to a Barnes & Noble, but she insisted on going to the biggest one in out town, particularly since I hadn't been. I found the book I was looking for and saw a few items I might come back for _for_ birthday presents for others. And after all of that, she said she was willing to spend a little more time w/ me (she has kids; she didn't say it like I was _so_ _lucky_ to go out with her or anything) so we went back to my apartment and made-out on my couch. It was so nice to have someone as into me as I was them and for them to show it early on & throughout us dating. I'm still seeing her to this day 🫡

Is it just me or have you been more expressive lately? I feel like these feel more like a genuine convo now. :)

I was typing this comment out and then you mentioned it at the end…. I’m not a fan of a movie date. There’s absolutely no chemistry being built while you’re both staring at a screen for hours. You learn nothing about the other person and they learn nothing about you. A concert or comedy show, however, is usually interactive! You can talk at a show and you can see their personality more.

Summary/ Overview: 1:13 Try Something New Together - which nun of you have done before, entirely or like a new recipe 2:25 Competitive activity w eventual reward, playful, fun 3:36 Introvert activity, museum, aquarium 5:34 Active 7:35 Multiple Spot 8:51 Show 11:12 Summary