Low Grade Narcissists | 5 Things You Need To Know 

Caution: There is a number of fake accounts using my name and profile picture and providing a WhatsApp number. That is NOT me. I do NOT have a WhatsApp number and never use WhatsApp to communicate with users online. Please do not engage with those accounts.

IMO if you are dealing with a low-grade narcissist, if they don't fly into a rage there will be passive aggressive vindictive behavior. GUARANTEED!

These narcissists aren’t going to like it when they’re called “low grade”

Please don't fall into the trap of staying around for, and supporting, someone with high grade narcissism because you can see their wounds and vulnerabilities and feel sorry for them. A high grade one will recognise your good nature and your pity and exploit it - they will exact revenge on you and you won't see it coming as they are highly skilled in gaslighting and manipulation. Slowly, calmly and carefully walk away. Don't ruffle their feathers and don't challenge them. Recognise that you will feel guilt and pain for 'abandoning' that person. That's OK, that makes you a caring, empathetic person. Keep yourself and your loved ones safe.

I’m the scapegoat child in a viper pit of narcs and monkeys. Until I learned about NPD, I practically begged them to tell me what I was doing wrong, what things I could change about myself. But they either made stuff up or said “you’re fine” but talked about me behind my back.

I'm impressed that he actually points out the roots of narcissism. Most psychologists only focus on how to recognize and defend yourself.

I think it's interesting learning about this stuff. Personally I see a lot of narcissistic traits in a lot of people including myself sometimes. Or at least some of the manipulation even when it's not intended. I am definitely not a narcissist but I try and recognize behaviors that I don't want to be participating in

These people are everywhere, like dawn of dead

I think the breaking point for me was how the took the criticism, I was always really passive and careful when I pointed out his behavior but it always ended with me being the problem...

Truly appreciate this video. I’ve been married to a man on the spectrum for 32 years. It’s been so hurtful. For so long, his behavior was an enigma because it was illogical. Now I understand and it is sad. He always seemed to live inside his own bubble. He would not, could not let me in. As a consequence, I’ve lived my entire adult life being married yet alone and unloved. I hope that these videos will help people to identify people who are unable to return their love and regretfully, walk away in the hope of finding someone with whom they may be seen for their own unique beauty and conversely, value and experience the same in another as they travel through the suffering and joy afforded in this life. What a treasure that would be… alas , it is too late for me. But I will finish the race with dignity and compassion, for myself and those around me, with the love of God.

Experience with a low grade narc: the person was open to take feedback and did try a bit to implement it (that is why i thought they could actually change), but the change didn't stay and every time old patterns of behaviour came back. No hope.

Great content. Just a note, I made the decision to divorce based on hundreds of hours of combing through RU-vid videos to help make sense of what on earth I was dealing with. And that decision was the best, healthiest and most adult decision I have ever made. Thanks to you RU-vid because traditional therapy just wasn't helping and I couldn't afford it anyway. I know you're just putting out a disclaimer to avoid complications but I'm just putting it out there that it's possible to watch RU-vid and be adult about it 😂

I was raised in that black and white, I'm either perfect or evil, childhood environment. I'm glad I'm able to work through my narcissism, fear, and guilt, because I have a baby daughter and I want the abuse to stop with me.

I have been saying for years that narcissism occurs across a spectrum. Thank you for this! I appreciate all of your work. 😊

They live in a virtual reality with their own warped construct.

You’re describing my mother. She lived in terror of having that shell breached. I spent my whole life trying to make her feel safe. All I did was allow her to stay in her delusion. She was put in an orphanage when she was 2 so her mother could go work for the federal government. Then she went to a boardinghouse. Her father was a stranger walking up the other side of the street. It was all dumped on me to “fix”. She had a deep sense of shame.

i think them flying into rage is not yet an indicator, because many people are super insecure and don't take criticism lightly, but then they cool down and accept it after a while. I think if they keep ruminating about what you say days after and won't stop till the punish you - that's the indicator.

I have been wondering what the difference is between a full blown narcissist and a person who can’t let you in, has narcissistic behaviors, but there’s “truth” sometimes. I know there’s no way to heal him, but I send him high vibes and love because it’s so sad to see a good person who was so hurt to lead him to live this way.

This could explain how siblings raised by the same narcissist can have very different experiences. My brother remembers a loving mother. My memories are of one filled with malice and vindictiveness. l think a person with narcissistic traits can carefully choose who they want to be nice to. So any way you slice it, whether it's a little bit or a lot, narcissism sucks.

I started to suffer this much through my last relationship with a narcissistic person. I’m in almost year 2 of the detachment process, almost 5 months of no contact and almost 100% no contact. I feel now like there is a kind of contagious element with narcissism. Imagine, not being seen or heard for so long by your narcissistic partner, it creates a louder and overcompensatory environment for the non-narc partner, who becomes more self serving and manipulative just trying to cling to whatever value he/she unwittingly gave away to the abuse over the years. It’s basically hell. What saved me is that I was not the root cause Narc, my root nature called me back to into authenticity and I’m grateful for the exit.

This tells me to look at myself, as well as others. I want to make sure I never, never treat anyone this way, even in the slightest, even when they're lashing out, being unruly, belligerent, bashing, badgering, bringing up their own pain in place of mine, acting paranoid, or being outright abusive. The only choice is to leave, and try not to get hoovered back in by "you never loved me," etc. When their mistakes are minimized, while yours, no matter how insignificant, are exaggerated and used as a platform and justification for their increasingly bad behavior and dishonesty: leave and do not look back. No good will come of it, and it'll propel you backward years in your self-work, trust, and secure attachment style. If you feel sick or physically weakened around someone, like your strength is leaving you, then leave. If the nastiness only seems to be toward you and not others (friends, clients, or even strangers): leave. If there is an air of altruism, while being a monster in private: LEAVE. I believe you, Richard, when you say that some people are deeply narcissistic in their relationships, but not outside of them. Thank you for validating it in such deep and thoughtful detail. I learned a great deal about myself, but I wish it hadn't taken such big chunks of mental and emotional flesh to do it. I feel like I lost years of growth, and I'm trying to find my way back. Your videos are helping so many of us.

This fellow is right about people who are broken and selfishly defensive. The thing is, they'll hurt you the same as the intentional ones, maybe worse. Because they can make you genuinely feel wanted, while they are constantly unconsciously conspiring to another end. It's like being in a relationship with two different women. Make no mistake in how even this can destroy your life.

A friend of the family ( who was also a psychologist ) told me a long time ago that NPDs will meet most of the DSM’s criteria, but each individual narcissist has his or her own individual “fingerprint”.

I've been to therapy for 10 months due to childhood trauma and and cptsd. I definitely live in this "bubble". I can't maintain relationships, obsession with success, and I struggle with empathy. It's all based out of fear. I definitely believe I'm not a full blown narcissist but im on the spectrum. I just wanna feel normal and like I'm not in a bubble all the time. I wanna have healthy relationships and not be scared that I'll end up neglecting or using the people I love, or supposed to love.

I work in mental health and there are numbers and numbers of people with NPD who manipulate and using other people system in general for their own benefits. It’s sad seeing many colleagues going through breakdowns . Continue educating ourselves, having healthy boundaries,doing reflection and debriefing in a team keeps us sane. Thank you Richard for impact in to society you put .We need more people like that !

Completely agree, 09:56 to 10:48. Do not, under any circumstances, fall for any amount of innocence or vulnerability. That's what got me to fall in love (not just the talent, intellect, professional accomplishments, and seemingly great and wondrous parts of who they were)... and that's what burned me, ultimately. Yes, Dr. Jekyll and Mr.-Miss-Hyde can exist in the same body. I know. I was with them.

It's so interesting...because yesterday I found myself thinking that most articles only address the extremities of narcissism and we all have a little narcissism in our personalities. However, there are some people that do not have NPD but their behaviours display tendencies, but low grade narcissists have the ability to change. I would've liked to hear examples of low grade behaviours and how to potentially address those behaviours.

my son was raised in a loving home. we cherished him and still do today but he has turned out to be a terrible toxic person!!! there was zero trauma in his childhood. we made sure of this. we still help him today yet he s aweful to us

When you're talking about Narcissistic Personality Disorder sufferers creating their shell, it reminds me of a quote from Adam Savage in Mythbusters..." I reject your reality and substitute my own." Only just recently discovered your channel and content and I already love it! 😀👍🤙 Take care bud.

I would consider myself a recovering narcissist. As soon as you are willing to face the truth, you can get better. Thank you for your worthful work.

This should be distributed as a psa. Just cut into every streaming service and make it impossible to turn off. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 You just shoved all of your knowledge into a digestible 18 minute video. I have watched hundreds of hours, read thousands of pages, and I still find myself entertaining these mf-ing people. Hence, my watching of this amazing video.

I once spoke to low-key narc friend about some issues I had had with how she treated me. For a moment,she admitted that her issues were due to a difficult childhood,then very quickly said that her "shell" was what had got her so far in life. It was like I could see her armour go back on in that moment. She refused to speak to me after that for a long time. Maybe she wasn't so low grade after all...

My twin brother is a full on narcissist. I had it quite a bit tougher than he did yet we turned out very different from each other. Go figure.

Dated a narc once, ruined my happiness, selfesteem and social circle. Now years later i still tend to get context related narc traits when talking or thinking about how i was treated and what it all cost me. And it especially hurts when people tend to see me as a narc, while i know its context/person related and the issues are only caused by pain, not mean, selfish or vindictive intentions.

A friend that i had some years ago was very entitled. She had these traits. I ended the friendship after I got sick of her behaviour which slowly got worse with time but she was a lot of fun when I first met her .

I felt myself turning into a low grade narcissist from being with a narcissist and slowly mimicking and mirroring her behaviour. That also triggered me to do research and pull myself out of that mental mess, so I didn’t let myself become that, but now I’ve run into someone who turned himself into one by staying with an extremely abusive and violent narcissist, and he got with my partner! FFS.

This is spot on. I lived with a gaslighting partner for a long time. I would call into question the way I was being treated, and he would go on and on denying my reality, calling into question not only my basic feelings and observations, but my sanity itself. In other words, not only was I wrong about my feelings, but the fact that I even had those feelings meant I was emotionally deficient. I had never encountered this in another human being, and it was extremely painful. Then, he'd go silent for a day or two. Then back to normal, biz as usual, like it had never even happened. If I had known this gaslighting was a thing, I would have left much sooner.

The biggest concept to gain from this video to me is the "crossing the Rubicon of Hope". The thing is you have to watch the videos with a purpose and like he said it is t to just totally vilify those high in narcissistic behaviors or NPD or Dark Triads. It is to come to a place where you decide if their is really any hope for this relationship with this person. If it is yes, proceed to videos to assist you and the person whose behaviors sent you searching for answers, if no proceed to totally different videos to help you with yourself and if you have kids, your kids. Good luck to all trying to discern and heal.

I like your work. That said, why not just call evil for what it is ...EVIL! No excuses, no explanations. Those who have chosen the path of dissembling, lies, bullying, insulting, belittling, and theft have chosen evil.

The low grade paranoia is constant and exhausting...The Eeyore "biggest victim in the room" is very compulsive. Realizing there is no real "them" is scary as hell when getting away is not an immediate option.

The Rubicon in my experience is self awareness. Richard Grannon's test at the end is key. If they respond with some sense of self awareness then there may be hope. However, if you're in a relationship don't think it's your job to stick around until they behave better. Whst kind of toll is it taking? How much are you willing to tolerate?

The repetitive gaslighting is what gives it away for me. Saying 'you're crazy' or 'you're delusional' and 'You're acting insane.' I pointed out this was gaslighting and even showed him. It was like he couldn't stop. I stopped asking about him being with someone else while he was with me and he stopped the gaslighting, but that was enough for me to keep my distance. I'm just glad I nip this one in the bud before I was emotionally and financially vested. Sometimes it feels like it will never end, because its all I seem to attract. ☹ I don't know how to be different.

The last scenario Richard describes is one of the final straws that pushed me over the edge that I had to escape a marriage. (I should have left a decade or more earlier.) I asked them that we meet because I was running into some challenges I didn't know how to deal with. I said that the repetitive rages just aren't working for me, and I hoped we could sit down and work through issues before they reached the shouting stage. This immediately and ironically triggered a rage with them screaming at me that I'm calling them a bad person. They were bawling, red-faced, shouting that I called them a terrible human being. I couldn't get a word in edgewise to say, "No, that's not what I said at all, I just want to work through things without shouting and swearing." It was useless. I had to leave the room. The resultant silent treatment went on for weeks. From everything I've learned and from 25 years of this, I'm assuming they are a fragile narcissist. That and the sitting in the corner and glaring at social events and railing at me because I didn't specially invite them into every conversation and make a big deal of them instead of their walking over and joining in like any sociable human being. NPD? On the narc spectrum? Don't care. It's history.

One symptom of a narcissistic personality disorder is sadism, such as when someone enjoys hurting animals or people and seeing others in pain. Antithetical to sadism and narcissism is a kind of personality that involves enjoying others being in control and approval-seeking😔✨☘️🙏

Richard, I just want to say that I have been watching you, Sam Vaknin, Dr. Ramani, Lisa Romano, and Narc Survivor for the past 3+ years, and it has been sooo validating when I begin to gaslight myself, question my sanity, and wonder if I’m the crazy narcissistic one, to see and realize that, no, I’m not crazy….I left a malignant and abusive Narcissistic, Borderline, Psychopath, and it was for the best. I’ve filed for divorce twice from my husband, and in the mean time he has obsessively alienated my two oldest daughters to the grossest extreme, to where they want and wish me dead. The pre and post separation abuse is palpable and unconscionable…and now, after over $150K, from my end, and him about $200K & 4 divorce attorneys dropping him and withdrawing due to his psychopathy and threats, and I’m still not divorced…it helps me stay sane and knowing that I left the fairytale to be a catalyst for change in showing my babies that money and Ferraris and G-Wagons and a mansion on the hill can’t provide you peace, safety, and sanity. It has backfired tremendously due to his masterful and carefully crafted manipulations towards my oldest daughters, but I pray one day they will see the truth. 🙏🏼😘❤️

Nodding emphatically about the projected Ego😢 **Omg, you know my mum! You know this subject incredibly well. ❤

I’ve watched a number of your videos and I feel like I’m a low grade narcissist, I’m going to go see a therapist I don’t want to get lost.

You saved my life literally. Thank you.

Top tip.... once you know your dealing with a narc. Walk away before you get burnt.

Thank you Richard. I did once know someone who had childhood SA/parental neglect from alcoholic parents. As an adult, any projects they worked on, their mental process was to believe they were completely incompetent and a wretch. Then, their competitive streak would appear and they'd only be happy with 1st place. 2nd wasn't good enough. They were pretty much competitive in life & with friends too.

The challenge to have the courage to look at our own narcissism, damage, life mess along with not allowing others who are covert wolves in sheeps clothing to make everything that much worse, it really is bad enough

I recently broke up with a covert narcissist. He was passive and calm. He had epilepsy and used that to his advantage. I calmly walked away.

Glad to hear this. I consider myself very self aware, and I’ve noticed and caught myself doing some narcissistic behaviours, mostly when meeting new people and it is very much a “guard”. I always look back and analyse it and think to myself why tf did I say that or do that? I don’t think I have NPD but most likely low grade because this described what I’ve been thinking. My mother is a full blown covert narc so I’ve probably gotten some traits from her. I’ve also had friends tell me they didn’t like some of my behaviours like the example you set, and I took it very well and looked inwards after that, so I’m glad I’m not full blown

One thing I will never understand is why others with CPTSD and are not narcissistic. They may have had the "pillar opposites," but they did not develop hard core or low grade narcissism. It's complex.

I worry my husband is a narcissist. He can be so loving and caring, took excellent care of me when I had cancer, but also can be so demeaning when we argue. He’s incredibly helpful, does everything around the house, manages our finances and works hard at work. But cannot acknowledge when he’s in the wrong, won’t apologize, blames me instead. But at the same time opens every door, holds my hand even when he’s not thrilled with me, and genuinely thinks I’m beautiful. It’s like he can be two different people. One that wants to run someone off the road if they cut him off in traffic, and another who wants to ensure I’m taken care of when I’m old. Sometimes I think he’s the best thing since sliced bread, and other times I can’t stand him. The past three years of the pandemic have been the worst as he’s immune compromised, and to protect his health I have become very isolated from my friends and family. So am I just going stir crazy, and he just has an narcissistic style of dealing with stress (he was raised in a country plaqued by terrorism and frequent wars which I’m sure caused trauma). Should I go to counseling? He won’t.

Basically the more narcissistic someone is the more youll have to tread on eggshells around them. The narrower less authentic and shallow your relationship will be able to be with them. Narcissism isn't interesting to be around in others ...its dull.

My guts are twisting. My poor mother. My heart breaks for her, what she must have suffered through, that she is who she is today. She looked like Marylin Munroe, has a genius IQ, won all the music festivals, was the top shot in her cadet unit, is charming and 'warm' and does beautiful art. She has devolved into an ultra aggressive 'victim', driven by persecutory projections. I went no contact a year ago...well, I send gifts with loving notes but I do not allow communications back. She'll be 80 and she is really suffering, the author of her own hell. I'm her eldest [scapegoat] child and her only daughter. Thirty years ago she told me my son did not have autism, that his behaviours were the result of me being an abusive mother. And she's gotten much, much worse. I just don't have the strength anymore. She would drink me dry.

I thought I was a low grade. I am just very confident and a high achiever. I do not lie cheat steal I do not manipulate I do not gaslight I do not hurt people. So that right there makes me not narcissistic despite my love of attention etc. which is natural for anyone

Because of social media, there is another type of narcissism called "social narcissism" because of virtue signaling.

Your informal test around 15:00 verified for me who was low-grade and who was a "hard shell" hopeless narcissist (because they won't let anyone sensible thru to conflict with their notions of inner emotional safety without immediate negation or rage - and definitely no consideration and almost certain reprisal). This really helps me measure how I see & interact, and what I can even hope for. This was very helpful. I was raised to believe forgiveness, redemption, etc. and yet having those concepts never clearly at work relationally in those who professed to use those principles & believe them (and who almost never confessed any guilt whatsoever - while trying to pile it on others). It was all a ploy - and I was the only one left holding the bag after a few decades. The bottom doormat. The only one talking to the others. Yes, my family of origin. As I grew older, at about 16, I wondered consciously about my inability to "feel" (much less my perpetual social anxiety, etc.) I know one close to me who checks EVERY box, or at least 7 out of the 9. For the longest time, I (like many others) considered this person highly competent, confident, normal (valedictorian in a small private school). Over decades, it's become painfully obvious upon closer examination of specific interactions & personality, after being cheated & put in problematic situations more times than I can count. This person is fake with everyone - regardless of who she is talking to, she talks and commands first, knows nearly everything, and her sources & successes are always elsewhere to the direct conversation. Nice act. Others far more competent (and trusted by that person) began - unsolicited - to tell me that they didn't trust or admire her. In retrospect, I take that as evidence. And I've had deep questions about a few others close to me (family of origin: try conflicting with one and it's "but so and so" - and yet they all are narcissistic in various ways to various extents). 1. Manipulate. 2. Intimidate. 3. Dominate. (The combo in some christian circles spells the motivation behind witchcraft/control.) And I myself matured in an environment that I now believe to be the full range of narcissism, depending on situation and individual. The dynamics made it very difficult for the youngest, myself, to have any long-range consistent ownership & functional identity at all that was distinct in views from the others and nearly all my inner feelings were subsumed into a believing and trusting submission, constantly encountering difficulties and usually being disappointed. But they seemed so sure. And I was not in a position to emotionally fend for myself during my early years - nor was I equipped by them (insufficient levels of supply for individuation) as I matured... So I suffered my own "trauma" leading to protective shells, etc. And on a few occasions now, I have had to crash out of my own built-up narcissism that was based more on the shallow expectations and splintered (not whole or reasoned through) lifestyles of my family of origin. I know this long-winded comment may be out of place. But it is what it is. And it's RU-vid.

What a blessing you are for people looking for answers, healing, hope and rebirth. Be blessed for your work and free knowledge 🙏🏼 thank you!

Fresh perspective on what seems to me an ever expanding topic. I was raised by a narcissist, and I may have raised one. The example of the cptsd environment that can cause npd was thought-provoking. My childhood was horrible, so I was determined to make certain my own child knew they were loved, valued, and that they had high self-esteem. It must have been painful when the world didn't always hold them in the same regard I did. I never thought of that. As my child became an adult and I saw npd traits, I had already viewed myself as a survivor/victim/empath for soooo long. We became like oil and water. As enough time passed, I was able to understand that with personality disorders, if you have one, you don't realize it. I realized that even if my child had npd, I wasn't just a poor, helpless, innocent victim who survived a bad childhood only to end up with an abusive adult child. I wasn't some spiritual empath able to perceive the pain of others. That was a fairy tale that I was outgrowing too late. After watching this video, I have a name for what I may be experiencing now, low-grade narcissism. Of all the pain I've experienced, knowing that my adult child may suffer the rest of their life, at least partially bc of how I raised them may be the worst. Apologizing only goes so far. If I can't do anything else, I am staying healthy and working to have something to leave them in the future. Knowing this and seeing myself still perceiving others and acting in the world in a way that perpetuates my situation can be a helpless feeling. But not as helpless as not knowing what's wrong. For me, at least, true change is slow, and it feels like betrayal of the core of my being, leaving nothing familiar inside. It's like divorcing yourself. I'm hoping I can sufficiently integrate my shadows so I can enjoy life and people more as time passes. I want to be as present as possible for my adult child. How much can I change? I don't know. Between short journeys out around others where I learn and practice new skills, I still spend most of my time in my safe shell, still healing, trying to figure things out, and protecting myself and others the best way I know how, for now.

About 11 years ago I was a raging alcoholic and had to do 9 months in a alcohol rehab. Before going in I was highly narcissistic and after watching this I wonder if I had low grade narcissism?? Back then I didn’t see my behaviours as narcissistic and everyone was at fault but ME ….after 9 months of intensive therapy in a brilliant rehab, they managed to break through the awful narcissistic behaviours I had. And for the first time in a long time I felt guilt and empathy. That was 11 years ago and for the most part I’m ok, but looking back I was just truly awful xx

I sent my then 81 YO mum a note saying I needed to adjust to the new reality of her not driving at night, not hearing well, needing more care and support, etc ... she then changed her will to remove me as beneficiary. I'm an only child! lol I should have added passive-aggressive and vindictive to the list.

This stuff is very interesting, thank you very much. I‘ve been through a lot of healing in the past 4 years after what could be called a mental & physical breakdown. Part of the work on myself at the moment are my relationships, especially romantic ones. I had two painful relationships with men who I believe might fit into the low-grade narcissism spectrum you‘re talking about - and FINALLY I am starting to connect the dots back to my childhood and especially my father… It‘s a lot to take in when you realise the scope of stress you were under as a kid and how that kept you repeating this cycle of feeling attracted to men around whom you can never fully relax and just be yourself. I know I‘m not fully healed yet, but I think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. :) Thank you for your content❤

Thank you for this clarification. Yes, I agree that this is a manifestation of CPTSD.

Yes narcs are very common.I seem to attract them.

It's hard to justify calling people narcissistic, when it actually is actually just normal social behaviors and as has stated it's created by traumatic experience so it's contagious as well. Everyone in their lives has had some narcissistic behaviors and traits. It's part of finding yourself unless you are a 100 percent codependent and your life has been to serve a parent or something. But let's think about a common quote you read, let go of things that don't serve you. A person can read this and think if that is what I should do, then everything is to serve me. When all actuality, the point of life is to be of service to others and be served by others but socially we've adapted to a narcissistic society and are trying to adjust for our own survival

My Sister is a narcissist she had a great childhood as the golden child. I was the scapegoat. She is toxic and malignant I'm not. She treats people like they are her personal staff. I treat people with kindness. How do you xplain that?

I’ve thought low grade narcissism was the result of being raised by a narcissist, and thinking the narc behavior as normal and acceptable. The fruit didn’t realise the tree was toxic, so to speak. So many people who aren’t narcs do behave like narcs, because they don’t see it as wrong.

I was meant to see this because this describes my life. I was raised in an abusive household and I do everything in my power to raise my children completely the opposite

See this with Co worker, needs to be better than anyone else. When on it, they create a reality and need everyone to praise them- when you say I'm not engaging and your anger your anger. Tantrums occur and they come back-but never apologise. It's like a failed firework-without supply they fizzle out.

Thanks for this video. Pretty sure my ex has NPD, nearly year out of the relationship he continues to stalk. He broke up with me on my birthday for asking a regular question about why he kept criticising my clothes, ghosted me 2 weeks over Xmas then made contact NYD. I refused to go back after a roller coaster relationship full of triangulation and criticisms. He was livid and I eventually got the police involved when he threatened me. He has new supply and makes sure I know, but if so happy why keep hoovering by proxy! I watch you and Sam’s chats and the fog is finally starting to lift 😬

From 13:00 on, you hit it straight on for me!!! My 1 son is like this. Me, being the nurturer and my ex husband behind the dad with awful things being said all the time. It explains it perfectly and I’ve thought it for many years. My son is 32 now and I pray everyday he can heal. He knows he has this problem and I think he finally wants help 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️❤️❤️

Ninja’s in Teflon suits. Recognising these behaviours in oneself diffuses their potentially lifelong effects

What I enjoy the most about your work, is that you represent the co-dependent, the other, the one on the receiving end, so well. I have been using some affirmations I came to through your work e.g. 'It's safe for you to want what you want', and find them to be extremely effective. Thank you.

15:36 says everything I could not put into words! Thank you for posting this video!

You've outdone yourself again. Been watching a long time because you excel at what you do. Even tho I learned what you described years ago, you've refined your descriptions so well it's fascinating

Nice shout out to Sam Vaknin. I know that would make that fella smile. Even though just considering him now makes my brain break it’s true. You’ve listened deep into those translated from another language lectures and compilations that can reach 4 hours 4+ I can see. Nice job. Truly. If you have anything on indifferent or neglectful only move, would love that lecture. Sam has 1, from 13 years ago. And that’s what I’m seeing after finding myself out of some very high IQ narcissist all around me. Quite truthfully. And it’s been pretty damaging. Thanks.

I cannot even believe how accurate this guy's descriptions are, blown away, literally.

Ty Richard. It's crazy how I see this in my history. And that there's a big level of shame and no sense of ego. I had no boundaries I'm curious how this fits together for me ty. Compensatory. I was bouncing around inside all of this in my experiences of psychosis. Ty this is so helpful to hear articulated.

4 minutes into listening to this, and it has ALREADY added value to my ability to distinguish BTW npd and just being a narc. And I am no newbie to narcissism so---> 👏🏼👌🏼 TY!

Another possibility is that NPD is far more prevalent than assumed. That could explain much about this world.

I have watched tons of videos on narcissism and this single one has been the absolute most informative and clear cut. TY.

Thank you for this explanation, I know a couple of people like this, not full blown, but extremely toxic with narcissistic traits .I'm not in contact now for many years thankfully

Great message mate. You give hope to be able to rationalise in a dark time for many. My ex wife, gorgeous younger Ukrainian who would say "Everybody loves Viktoriya." Luckily I saw the similar traits when I was younger. I could not do anything right, never enough, eventually exhausted. 3 years fighting for her and her sons visa to be together . Within 1 year I stopped negotiating, boughts flights and rang immigration. Broke my heart but I had to save myself. She manipulated to every point. Even the boy got involved . Now she was being bombed by Russia and fled as a refugee to Switzerland probably on some guys payroll. I send small survival money to her mom because they left her behind. I pray for the war to stop.

This is the most thorough, most concise description of low-grade narcissism I've seen yet on RU-vid.

I've watched TONS of videos on this subject. This is ABSOLUTELY among the best and most enlightening. Thank you so much.

This is an OUTSTANDING video! ReAlly clear, helpful, detailed etc….👍👍👍👍😎

I have been following your work for years now. After going through a huge chunk of your videos i connected all the dots and needed to step away from more info on narcs. Seeing you after a long time in this video I can't help but admire how much you have developed your skills in presentation. There was hardly any ums and uhhs in this video. You were clear to the point precise and very relatable. Very humane. Your warmth and generosity come through in your videos. I remember years back when I was in a rough patch I used to just tune in to listen to you without actually paying close attention to you. I'm sure there are a lot of PPL there who do the same thing. Deep gratitude for your work sir. Lots of love and good wishes to you.

Wow, this is so good. I have been trying to understand a person like this in my life, and you have nailed it 100%. Incredible.

I gave up....I'm going back under my rock now.

Great video. Im on the schizoid spectrum and found meditation to be the thing which gets me back in the world. I hope anyone who is struggling can find a practice which helps them bring back love to themselves and the ones dearest to them. I exercise caution around more narcissistic individuals but i do hope they too will find a space which can peal back the layers of delusion. We all have delusions but some peoples are so many that they really need to seriously focus on them in order to enjoy moments in their lives and have much less stress in them.

Thank you sir, I have checked out your videos because I thought I was a narcissist. This video has made it clear I am a low grade narcissist. Wow! I am blessed to have more than two people take me aside as you described. They told me positive things about myself then told me what they saw and how I could improve. I was so thankful they did that. IT helped me to look at myself and see how evil I am. I strive to be a better person. You have helped me understand myself more than you know. God Bless You.

Question: raised by a narcissistic mother. She treated us like shit to our face unless it had to do with money and vanity. When she passed… we found journals of how she really felt about her kids (all amazing!) so why didn’t she treat us that way????

Well THAT was...enlightening. Thanks Richard. Been watching You for Years.💜

Great info in this one--alot to digest there. I can't believe I have never heard of "low grade narcissism" before. That was excellent advice at the end. I have to credit your work with opening my eyes to the places I wasn't showing much humility. Ultimately I would think anyone would want to know if they are giving off an unsettling vibe. Anything said with grace and compassion should have a great chance of going over well. Again if the person has humility and reason.

My best friend of 23 years started displaying NPD in a very passive aggressive meanness. I called her on it and she said I guess I’ve been mad at you a long time. For everyone’s information she has a degree in social work and supposedly knows how to communicate.😮 within the first few hours of meeting her that she tells everyone she is a genius. I always thought that was strange.

Mr. Grannon is an amazing communicator!👍🏻👍🏻

In my view, this has been one of the most enlightening analysis of such a difficult problem. Thank you very, very much, Richard 👍