1. I can’t 2. What did they mean by that? 3. What are they thinking about me? 4. That person being good at something is a threat to me. 5. Confident people have clarified their opinions about themselves 6. I’m a failure. 7. I’m not good enough.
Hi Julia! Senior Shifter Chris here! I always love your confidence building information and tips and today’s RU-vid video covered some good ones! 7 Things Confident People Don’t Say I think one of the aeras that I am trying to grow in confidence in is changing the thought that other people’s being good or having something that I want is a threat to me. Now, to be clear, I love celebrating other people’s success’ and will be genuinely happy for others. But there is still back in my mind, that I can’t have or do what others do. I think that thought overlaps with those other negative messages, “that person has something I wish I can have.” and then I can think “I can’t” and I think I can’t because “I am not good enough.” So, it is actually a few of these thoughts mentioned in your video that really intertwine. The good news now is that since being a shifter, I recognize these thoughts and I have the tools and resources to help overcome them. I can do a thought ladder to help me achieve a goal thought and I can do an ABCBO to help me act and get the desirable outcome that I want, and If I still don’t get that outcome I wanted, it only means a setback, I won’t personalize it and label myself as a failure anymore. Here are my notes: 7 Things Confident People Don't Say: "I can't." "What did they mean by that?" "What are they thinking about me?" "That people being good at something is a threat to me." " Those people's opinion are more important than my own." "I'm a failure." "I'm not good enough." Instead say or think this: 1. "I could do this if I chose to want to do it and believe I can figure it out." 2. Don't over think and try to figure out something and make up stories, you can ask the person. 3. YOU think about what you want to think about yourselves. "I think well enough about myself. Others are allowed to have their own opinions about me." 4. Every human, including ourselves, has something to offer to this world and someone else having something/success doesn't make it that we can't. Keep your eyes on your own journey. Don't compare. Look to others only as inspiration. 5. Confident people have clarified their opinions about themselves. "Who am I?" or "What do I want to think about me?" 6. We will all have failures in life, but don't personalize and label yourself as a failure. Failure is information and a learning lesson. "I have more to learn and have more things to figure out." or "Maybe this isn't the direction I really want or need to go" 7. I am worthy and valued just as I am. There is no way to "prove" good enough. When having those thoughts, think " I am feeling discouraged." or "I am feeling defeated" or "I am feeling hurt." then identify and process those emotions.
Thank you Chris! I really appreciate your summaries. I like to read them because they help solidify the concepts in my brain. You obviously put a lot of thought and effort into Julia's content in.order to apply the concepts to your own life, and in doing so, you help others! 😁👍❤❤
Thank you so much for this. Yes just hearing it won’t change the way I think about myself instantly, but hearing a confident person’s way of thinking really puts mine in perspective. Because when you don’t know there is other way you think your insecurities is normal.
Used to struggle with a few of these and still struggle the other ones. I tend to compare myself to others, worry about what others think, worrying about failing at something, etc. But I noticed whenever I think these patterns, I intentionally stop and rethink my thought patterns and replace with more confident statements. For instance, if I think "what are they think about me," I remind myself "if they have a problem with what I said or do, I trust they will address it with me."
Wow! Really have struggled with my self in regards to confidence. Thank you for your advice. I will try to use what you have said to try and get some confidence I have been lucking for quite some time now. Greetings from Essex ❤
The only reason I ever believed I wasn't good enough is because it was suggested to me from many people. I figured out that they can't be good enough for me so I don't need to put up with them anymore.
