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8 Things Controlling Personalities Do To Keep You Under Them

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8 Things Controlling Personalities Do To Keep You Under Them.
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You might happen to know someone with a controlling personality in your lives, right, guys? It could be your friend, your partner, your boss, or anyone else really,
It seems like they are making plans, and always want everyone to follow along with them; what they are going to do, what they are going to eat, or what they want you to do after that. They are often giving you unsolicited advice, telling you to do something "Because I want you to," or not to do something because "I don't want you to do that."
People with controlling personalities often have codependency issues. They solely rely on their ability to control others, to make themselves feel more confident and happy. Once a controlling person has you under his or her apron, It can be challenging to get out.
By doing this, they end up making you feel like you have lost your personality, your independence. Thereby, they have their thumbs, and they destroy your self-esteem.
Please watch the rest of the video to see all lists ...

Опубликовано:

17 авг 2024

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Комментарии : 806

@rose9470 4 года назад

I think controlling people are jealous and like to abuse power to hold people back and try to break down their self esteem

@quincyjaygrider6961 3 года назад

Definitelyyyyy

@jamiecee4960 3 года назад

I agree 100%.

@unapologeticella4540 3 года назад

Omg so true

@amachildofmosthighgodinjes6115 3 года назад

🙏🙏

@alexandral6997 3 года назад

Sounds like my ex husband.

@k.c.sunshine1934 4 года назад

1:24 (1) They continuously criticize everything you do. 2:19 (2) They get angry at your questions. 3:08 (3) They use guilt to manipulate you. 3:41 (4) They have no interest in your opinion. 4:27 (5) They try to make rules about other people's lives. 4:55 (6) They start by showing you love and then they create distance from you. 5:41 (7) They try to make you feel bad for being yourself. 6:12 (8) They try to make fun of you.

@hodanbille 4 года назад

People like you are hero’s on youtube. :) Thank you.

@ShoJ369 4 года назад

Excellent depiction !

@coenterhaar9183 3 года назад

Yip. Do whatever it takes to maintain your self esteem. It's his or her problem, not yours. You deserve to be happy. Hold onto that, and be happy. With or without him or her.

@karanpaul5525 3 года назад

@@coenterhaar9183 I just loved that 3rd and 7th reason of guilt...please give me any solution of that please 🙏...how to deal with that area of guilt...

@coenterhaar9183 3 года назад

@@karanpaul5525 Hi Karan, You might find the following quote by Eckhart Tolle helpful.... "When you lose touch with your inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself. When you lose touch with yourself, you lose yourself in the world." Your self esteem is at stake here, and bullies are crafty. You deserve to be happy, so.... Be still and know. Be still, and you'll know what to do.... Your inner voice will tell you how to cope with his or her mind games, or if you should leave. Hold on to your inner stillness where wisdom resides.... Best wishes ❤️

@soldierofgod1106 3 года назад

What makes me mad is when they know that they are controlling you and try to deny it when you confront them . Smh

@charanpreetkaur2033 Год назад

Absolutely

@LuvableAF 10 месяцев назад

Because it is "all your fault" you are upset.

@treeblue-ck1xx 4 месяца назад

really

@richasaxena6636 4 года назад

My sister was like that. I detest such people. I still come across such people in my life but now I just stay away from such control freaks. I don't care about what they say.

@leahmilazi5427 2 года назад

Am in a same situation with my cousin sister because I stay in her house.

@artworld6574 Год назад

@@leahmilazi5427 same I’m dealing with this with my brother. I’m currently staying with him but I’m moving in the next couple days. He’s definitely inferior and try’s to shame me to boost his self of stem. I never pay his bs any mind and cant wait to leave

@shaneevans4323 Год назад

Your body will naturally understand when something isn’t right. Try to feel it. Is it in your chest? Your stomach? That’s your intuition. Go with it. Cut that person out quick!! Our minds tend to downplay or justify that person’s manipulative behavior, so listen to your body.

@sssttt2211 3 года назад

1. Chronic criticism 2. Expect Obedience 3. Guilt to manipulate 4. Closed minded. Not interested in your opinion. 5. They have rules for other's life. 6. They fake love, closeness to gain your trust 7. They you feel bad about yourself. 8. Make fun of you.

@queenchiomaofficial 2 года назад

It’s just so hard to deal with, constantly being controlled and manipulated. It’s a really draining experience. Thanks for this video.

@seannoithat9999 2 года назад

Haha men are so easy. Always trying to be nice and please the women. It is extremely in the womens favor to use that power to gain profit. No one can control me that way, it only turns bad when they have my kids.

@korymelko6487 Год назад

@NATOJUSTICE 😊

@PinkYellowGreen2023 Год назад

Yes it is draining! I have to run and hide sometimes...I like being free!

@LuvableAF 10 месяцев назад

I was put on Earth for this. I have yet to have a healthy emotional Man love me. Some people are created for abuse. I am one of them.

@daniellalouisearichea8160 21 день назад

It is really hard, especially when it's a family member you just can't get rid of. Hope you're doing better love!

@maewest4098 4 года назад

This was my mother.Her words were like the words of God. It took me until my late forties to break away. I love steering my own ship, designing my own life and getting to trust myself. It can be scary and involves a lot of work to undo the damage but at 52, I am a free woman. There is a way out but the first step is to walk out. Much luck to you all.

@yinyangphoenix 4 года назад

My mother, too. I am still cannot afford to move away and I am trapped. Wish me luck. I am really happy for you. You give me hope.

@maewest4098 4 года назад

@@yinyangphoenix stay hopeful Lisa. Can you get more money somehow to squirrel away? I know its hard financially. If you cant, set firm boundaries. Dont let her confuse you. They do so much harm. Im so glad i gave you hope, let me know how you get on x x

@patriciaking7892 4 года назад

Mae West, same here.

@falsesectslikeshiaarejudeo6543 4 года назад

these ones are tough, killing with kindness and independence with good examples of your work and when they attack using functioning logic and putting their ignorant implications to its full conclusion with sarcasm or skepticism is a good way to puth those out. Usually doing one thing well you bothr espect can work in your favor as a point!

@falsesectslikeshiaarejudeo6543 4 года назад

using rhetorical question on brightside, and acceptance also helps. maybe thes controlling ppl have aceptance issues themselves and seeing you subtly move on and function well can give them that encourage from inside out! hainv principles and having anaylsis full of empathy and function can also help win them over.

@la.woman. 3 года назад

Turning you into the victim and then blaming you for "playing the victim" . Classical controlling personality. It may drive you crazy to the point where you dont know who you are, or where you're going unless they are near. There is no "right choice" or "right way of doing things" . You will always be blamed for no matter what. This is exactly why its so maddening for other person and hard to explain to others.

@baldpixel4797 3 года назад

Facts

@captaint1180 3 года назад

Another example is that they ask you questions as to why you’re going about your ways that are actually normal but apparently “not normal” to them. Like asking you why you are in your room, when you’re just in your room

@erinlasavage9676 3 года назад

Holy Spirit enter my life, Jesus Christ protect my family and associates... keep evil far from us.

@edwelndiobel1567 3 года назад

Whats the matter?

@Ollychamberlain 2 года назад

Religion is the most effective control tool.

@Pray-4-Me 2 года назад

🙏🙏🙏

@emilylarimore127 2 года назад

Amen 💯

@Mewingstreak3000 2 года назад

@@Ollychamberlain correct dude

@mattlofty5884 3 года назад

Controlling people are jealous that you know how to make yourself happy so they want to ruin for you . Simple

@dennisrobinson8008 3 года назад

controlling your emotions even thru anger or frustration let's them control you

@taotaostrong 4 года назад

If you need a laugh, play this video within earshot of your controller. They will either argue with the video or insist that you turn it off. 😂 It’s like Holy Water to a Vampire!

@NormaJean87 4 года назад

😂 ...that would be a brave thing to do ! 😂

@leighatkins22 4 года назад

I LOVE IT XD XD XD

@lisaleeann8686 4 года назад

Tao Tao it's so true mine always say take this shit off lol

@taotaostrong 4 года назад

Lisa Leeann That’s hilarious! I’m sending you strength Sis!

@EIStudent 4 года назад

Hilarious. I could see that happening.

@carolynwebb5043 Год назад

I try to burn bridges with domineering manipulating people even if they are close relatives and I get badly criticized for not being loyal to them because they are blood relations but I don’t care. Being a family Member does not give them an excuse to take liberties with me!

@FatimaKhan-fq9ho 2 года назад

Some people simply just dont understand the words respect love and care .. they just know manupulation

@Halo-nk9hp 3 года назад

That's why I don't choose to have close friendships anymore. I thrive alone rather than having a ball in chain around.

@amandapryar4675 3 года назад

I think I would be happier 😌 on my own

@d3adbiird92 Год назад

You can't trust know one but yourself and it facts

@Joshdifferent 2 месяца назад

💯‼️💯

@violetdodio9544 4 года назад

I’m currently dealing with a controlling person and I’m so close to punching them

@humphreymadlala4462 4 года назад

@Violet Odio I'm also dealing with a controlling person, and as a result,I feel emotionally abused.I end feeling sad and depressed to be honest, which is something that I definitely don't experience when I'm not around him.The next plan with this situation is to either confront him about this or take a stand and refuse to be his lap dog.And you should probably do the same thing, because, talking from personal experience,it will eat you up inside, leaving you unhappy emotionally.That's the honest truth.

@coenterhaar9183 3 года назад

@@humphreymadlala4462 Maintain your self esteem whatever it takes. It's his problem and not yours, it's his. Hold onto that.

@elizabethmarino753 3 года назад

Funny

@jonburgmann 3 года назад

If your gut feeling says I don’t like living with this you need to get far away break all ties before you become there emotional pinochio

@celestehotty6775 3 года назад

They will turn around and make you the bad guy if you actually did. That would play right onto their hands. It’s such an effed up thing to realize when you’re a good person.

@HumansOfVR 4 года назад

Sounds like gaslighting

@dalitm7315 4 года назад

Life Progress - a channel for introverts gaslighting is certainly one tactic of control.

@joshuaben6625 4 года назад

Gaslighting means that people manipulate you to believe that stuff isn't real or your having illusions by your mind

@MegaTrivial 4 года назад

Because, gaslighting is a part of control; but control contains more of techniques; like demanding accounts in your personal private life and deciding what you do

@jm4236 4 года назад

My controlling ex tried to convince me I was gaslighting her because I expressed my opinions. Lol I told her I have zero interest in that and she can believe what she wants she will anyways. She not only wants to control what I do but then proceeds to tell me how to do it. Like how many seconds to brush my kids teeth for. Lol. Crazy

@NormaJean87 4 года назад

These are excellent well explain examples. Narcissists are very controlling. People with pure, innocent hearts can become victims. However, once you reach the point of realization & get away.... You will never fall for it again. It's just very sad for people to be victim to a controller. They can come away very broken, especially if they've been in the situation for a long time. It's alot like domestic abuse ( which involves control ) It's abuse to ones very soul.

@menachemvanhalem6444 4 года назад

I grow up like this and now i live my own life its skairi you doint know where to go in live so you have good friends they let you be yourself

@NormaJean87 4 года назад

@@menachemvanhalem6444 I can understand that. Everything can seem scary. Decisions so difficult. Searching for somewhere to live can be overwhelming ..... 🙏

@dalitm7315 4 года назад

Well said K D. Often these people are real life narcissists. And the people that fall for narcissists are people who are pretty innocent and believe in the goodness of people and give people the benefit of the doubt.

@NormaJean87 4 года назад

@@dalitm7315 Thanks 😊 I agree with your comment too.

@thedesensitizedsympathizer5307 4 года назад

Why are they like that and what can I do, so I don't become one

@EIStudent 4 года назад

Great insights. I was married to someone with a lot of these qualities. I finally told her "If all of 'our' problems are my fault, then I'll remove myself from this situation." That got her to straighten up for a bit but I wound up leaving anyway because she just couldn't help being manipulative. Lesson learned...the absolute EASIEST way to know if you're in a good relationship or not is how you feel about yourself, when you're with that person. Second lesson learned your ultimate power in a relationship is your willingness to end it IF you continually find yourself unhappy. A controlling person always needs someone to control and manipulate. However if they know you won't stand for their b.s. (i.e. tell them you'll leave...and actually do it, if you have to...) that shuts down the b.s. pretty quickly. You NEVER deserve to be with anyone who doesn't make you feel good about yourself IF you're being fair, generous and respectful to the other person.

@coenterhaar9183 3 года назад

Wise words!

@amandapryar4675 3 года назад

I'm reading most of the comments and I like yours. I'm not strong enough yet but when I am I will remember the strength in what you have written. Thank you

@erodigie 3 года назад

Wise Words! Thanks for sharing

@gamerwhiz6847 2 года назад

Absolutely true, especially about shutting down their b.s.

@lazyfitnessguybiswa5284 Год назад

Are you paying alimony?

@ban2462 4 года назад

I know this all too well.... I am a very nice person and I know how people can control you... I would not wish it on my worst enemy

@angelinebaekhave2326 4 года назад

This WAS sooo my last employer....walked off the job this morning! So done with demeaning disrespectful ppl. U r well being and value is so much more important!!! These ppl r everywhere! She couldn’t beg me to come back....

@nidhichoudhary9844 4 года назад

controlling person, manipulative person, fake person, one who plays mind games, one who has eevr made fake promises, one who is too much interfering in my life, one who is trying to break my mental peace

@ChristopherDonnerArtist Год назад

I had to break away from my parents . I noticed I started dealing with people like this out of comfort. I attracted people like this for a while . Once I really became self aware . Looked at myself in the mirror . Asked why am I dealing with this person?

@Vyjayanthi41 4 года назад

It is impossible to have equal partnership with controlling personalities because they enjoy power more than doing things together , even upbringing of a child. Either you are their robot or you are nobody in their life.

@ericsseyes 4 года назад

i used to be like this, i work everyday to try and change myself from acting this way with others,

@ambitionxander7394 3 года назад

Is it working? How did U work on it, what measures did u take and how much time did it take for your to overcome this?

@bagsarepacked8753 2 года назад

No one is perfect we all make mistakes, being able to see them and grow from them is what's important!

@nevamoore5192 Год назад

Thank you for making the effort. Many people don't even try.

@estifanosberta-samuel2570 4 года назад

I've seen family members and so called friends try several of these points with me. Good for me that I WILL NOT BE CONTROLLED. So, they failed dismally.

@jedimonk993 3 года назад

I hope all is going well,I'm still finding my way from people who are toxic.

@estifanosberta-samuel2570 3 года назад

@@jedimonk993 Keep walking in your truth and they will just fall away because they’re not a vibrational match for you. You will get to your place called “THERE”

@lordblazer 2 года назад

just becareful, these people will try to disrupt your life indirectly by using the people around you, your job, where you go do your errands, etc. That's how they are. They're pure evil. I use to be like everyone has good in them, but not anymore. Not in the age of aquarious.

@jordan8824 Год назад

That's awsome do your thing man

@artworld6574 Год назад

@@estifanosberta-samuel2570 thanks so much!!

@timragland1858 4 года назад

#9 they’re right and the rest of the world is wrong. Most controlling people don’t have much to show for either, they’re usually struggling and hate that you’re living better than them.

@beans9019 4 года назад

Guilt trips are a big one... it’s what causes us to eventually move away with no explanations because every time you try to speak out about it they end up twisting it so YOU are the one to apologize.

@allswellthatends 2 года назад

To me, it always seemed like someone trying to control me was a sign of care and affection (because that's the environment I was brought up in). It's scary how distorted you become when your upbringing is toxic

@Helenavanthof 3 года назад

So I guess I’m a controlling person then. I used to be extremely critical of my little brother, I think how I treated him would definitely fall under bullying. I think I wanted control somewhere because a lot of things were happening in my life that I, as a child, had no control over (parents divorced, all of my best friends moved away, etc). And my brother became the victim of that. Even though I still have to keep myself in check, it’s already a lot better now. I’m now more aware whenever my inferior superiority complex arises and I am better able to deal with it. I hope one day I can get fully rid of it. I wish I could just be okay with failure. I wish I wouldn’t always feel like I need to be better than others. It’s because I’m scared of being inferior to others. It’s exhausting.

@jeffrey4505 Год назад

you sound like my daughter, whom i have chosen to go no contact act with. she is the definition of her mother.

@greenbeans9748 Год назад

It's been two years since you posted this, but I'm glad you're self aware and willing to admit you were in the wrong. Have you gotten better since then? It takes a big person with great character to learn and grow from their mistakes.

@tamicagle1729 4 года назад

The discrption of a Narcissist relationship ! Leave it doesn't work !

@Community-Action 4 года назад

Did you mean to type description??

@VaniaAjah 3 года назад

Controlling behaviour not only doing by a NPD, but many others personality disorder such as OCD, PTSD, Anxiety Disorder, etc. That's why so many varieties of the type of _Controlling issues,_ you should seek _the cause_ not _the result._

@volcom05345 4 года назад

This is my parents. Nobody believes me either. Its very frustrating. At first I thought I was at fault for everything in my life but now I know. Its actually really scary that someone would go out of their way to destroy their child's well being. I'm slowly getting better and building confidence in myself but the emotional scars will always be there.

@jassiethebunnyqueen222 3 года назад

Same 😓💔 I can relate to everything you said I hope all works out well for you 💜

@sivakumar-rt9hx 3 года назад

Same here too...

@forest69ist 3 года назад

My parents also

@edengarden8815 3 года назад

It's common, my mum. Dad was too soft and wanted nothing to do with it.

@JavierRodriguez-xk6ll 3 года назад

Same both my parents and nowy live in bf I'm considering doing drugs to escape

@KrisK6334 2 года назад

First thing is to stop people pleasing these types of people. No matter what you do , they will never be happy. So cut those strings, I struggle with standing up for myself . No matter what when I set boundaries I feel like nothing works. Cut these people off and work on making yourself happy.

@jimconnoy6133 4 года назад

My late wife was controlling. Also a covert narcissist

@ghostbombl8034 4 года назад

Did she converter into a Christian realigion?They all become brainwashed control freak because there realigion controls them so they controls others with it.

@ALofiLife 2 месяца назад

@@ghostbombl8034a true follower of Christ wouldn’t abuse others.

@erikazella5225 4 года назад

Absolutely... I recognize each one. Pass it on to a suspected victim.

@NinjaOutfitInTheWash 3 года назад

Had a ‘friend’ like this for years. So glad to have her out of my life. She was extremely toxic for me in my life. Nobody liked her because of how she was, but I still thought the problem was with me. She really helped me feel that way too. Thinking about it makes me so angry.

@Liz-wz8dh 3 года назад

It is sooo common. I looked up recently and realized I have far too many control freaks in my life between work and friendships. It was sooo depressing and I have been angry about it for a while now. Still trying to figure out how to get RID of these types that are apparently EVERYWHERE.

@amethysting3389 2 года назад

@@Liz-wz8dh rest assured it may feel like they are everywhere but it's not. Just try to maintain your boundaries, values and principles. Then when they see they can't control you they leave and this allows better people to be in your life.

@FH-er7us 2 года назад

may I add gaslighting, being passive-aggressive, convincing you to do things you don't want at all, bringing up your insecurities to others, gossipping about common friends, and talking bitterly about others’ physical appearance (they feel superior to others).

@bettycorral6618 3 года назад

No one can control me....im a free spirit

@tyalphenaar2670 3 года назад

The other day I met with my (friend) who is a narc. I know exactly how she is. So everything she wanted to do, I suggested the TOTAL opposite and could tell she hated it! She would say stuff to one-up me or someone else. I would always counter what she said and made her so irritated! It was so enjoyable.

@dannysims5914 2 года назад

Why would you even want to waist your time being around that person period🤷🤦

@sarasmile5274 Год назад

Duh......it was paycback

@Nightmastercool97 3 года назад

A controlling person will never ever be happy. Number 2 is extremely creepy

@dashapulkova581 3 года назад

My PhD supervisor was controlling person. He adjusted a camera to monitor my entry and exit from the lab, I was working in on my project. He loved to accuse me in every mistake and made me cry almost every single day. He never apologized to me and made me feel guilty, as If I was a big troube he dealt with...after spending 3 years in this abuse, I got a depression with panic attacks...finally, I graduated with a degree in my hands and left the university he worked forever! Glad to be free now.

@theresagargett-lyons6173 4 года назад

WOW, You nailed it! The unidentified subtle pressure I have been feeling just hit me right between the eyes. All the time I've been feeling I must be a bad person for feeling so uncomfortable.

@seatime674 Год назад

People that are controlling have no control themselves which leaves them insecure so being controlling is a way to overcompensate so they feel in control themselves.

@paulgavin2267 4 года назад

Number 5 & 6: I had a "friend" for 7 years who was like that, then couldn't stand to see me getting on without them. A few others apply to that person too, who was & still is a paranoid control freak. Person is now trying to get others to stop talking to me because he no longer talks to me. Glad I don't have that person as a friend now.

@amethysting3389 2 года назад

Wow were we in the same situation? I had a person who had issues with me befriending people outside the circle and I had to walk on eggshells around the person. We have been no contact and one person from the group reached out saying that they were told by the controlling person not to talk to me.

@bangtanbangtan4989 4 года назад

Worst of all - even after calling them out on it, they shamelessly and persistently continue doing all those stated in this video. When you ask for an explanation, it’s like they suddenly forgot how to construct sentences or that language exist.

@DiamondsRexpensive 4 года назад

♦️

@carlosgarza31 3 года назад

That's fortunate for you, but I dare not do that with my father as calling him out just triggers violencewhich is always followed by him acting like it's my fault. "Look what you made me do you made me mad."

@angelamason2919 3 года назад

I feel sick after listening to this because you have driven home what I already knew was happening. I feel like a caged animal.

@amandapryar4675 3 года назад

It hurts to think that you've been controlled and not being sure if it's you or them 😳😳

@AZDC99 Год назад

"Number 8: They like to make fun of you." I had a former friend doing this in the cowardly third person way. Talking about someone else's so-called problem that sounded like my so-called problem. I just laughed and said, "Why you to say to me directly, coward, instead of creating a fictional situation that you're describing?" They had a rage attack and told me to get the hell out of their apartment. Thankfully I'm no contact with this former friend (but unfortunately stayed friends for a few more years after that) who went from mirroring me as someone with the alleged same life to turning into or sneaking into wannabe bully. This video is very good medicine to remind me why to not give in to the temptation of going back to a bad friendship for what used to be the good parts or whatever

@lordblazer 2 года назад

the only way to get out of someone who is controlling is to just burn that bridge and deal with the consequences that come from it. As those consequences will be minor in the face of having someone in your life that will cause you pain and suffering for their own happiness. This isn't the best advice, but it's how I got out of a controlling relationship.

@victory9015 4 года назад

These kind of people you will WIN! They will always find a reason to put you down or have controll over you!

@jordan8824 Год назад

No they won't WIN

@whatsup_viral 3 года назад

Always Keep toxic people away from your life...cut relationship completly... Never depend them in any way . never share personal information and never make cash deal with them . then these assholes cant do anything....then they will approach you with tears. and never ever fall on their crocodile tears..bcz from my experience, they never change. They always change their tricks

@eternallyrising1673 4 года назад

I was raised by a narc father and I’m not sure if I’m a controlling personality but I most definitely have no desire to be truly. The lack of control I’ve known most of my life leaves me feeling hyper defensive of losing control of my own situations and I find myself giving unsolicited advice to friends and making assumptive plans. This video helped re-align

@waynemohi2767 Год назад

I have a father like this , it would take a full on book to tell of our past but I lost my wife 10 yrs ago to diabetes not to mention a partner (mother to my only son ) two years prior to meeting my wife. Yes widowed twice before 45. I miss and l love them both, anyways because I was a mess from the latest loss had to come home and live with my loving mum an dad. I noticed that before my losses that my father treated me and spoke to me alot better and always showed me what he had done and built around our homestead. Since having to return home and live in the bedsit he built ( basically for us kids or visiting family, freinds etc ) all of a sudden I became a hindrance son ( I feel ) who was lucky to have a place to come to. I love my father and appreciate being at home (for the time being) but noticed my younger sisters and their achievements are spotlighted as where I as the eldest feels like a bum. I love my sister's too but now I am under my father's roof again and made felt an underachiever has had my confidence destroyed.

@macnchessplz 11 месяцев назад

Sound like your Dad might be using his children’s accomplishments to prop himself up.HIMSELF up…..

@syrehn69 4 года назад

Oh yeah, recognising it.. Already leaving it alone. I am not putting myself in these situations anymore. Period.

@zoeylatshaparker99 4 года назад

Anyone else watching this to better the SELF and not blame others? Or is it just me. If you come from a parent like this, you probably have the tendencies. Self awareness is the best way to make heaven on earth.

@Caprese1.0 2 года назад

This video makes me feel how the controlling people in my life make me feel. This is because this video is so close to if not representing precisely what the controlling people are like and what the controlling people do in order to stay in control. Great video!

@lubnaasiri6307 4 года назад

I now feel like my best friend is controlling. At first she would be very nice to me and then ask for a favour. If I say no or something like that, she would get very angry and say that I am a bad friend until I would give in. She also didn’t like a lot of people and when I go and stay with them, she would get very angry with me to a point where she yells at me and tell me to end my friendship with her. If I also made friends with another person she also tells me to leave them because ‘they’re taking me away from her’ .My other friend (lets call her Natalia) and other people are telling me she is trying to control me and how I deal with it. Now Natalia and my best friend are arguing and I don’t know how to tell my best friend that our friendship should end. What do you think I should do? Sorry if it was too long

@zuesos29 4 года назад

you need to end that relationship with her. she is NOT a friend......shes an insecure, control freak. Get away from her ASAP!!!

@tineashaburnett1544 3 года назад

It's best for you to stay away from her if she's going to be that way.

@harleenquinzel3442 3 года назад

She sounds manipulative and like she has ulterior motives 😕

@PeteS_1994 3 года назад

She might have Borderline personality disorder

@carpenoctem775 2 года назад

Being bossy is a sign of weakness. Even bosses don’t have to act like that.

@dalecomella2385 4 года назад

That's me 😨🤨 but I'm an empath so I guess I rationalize the control because I feel like I know what makes people happy. What a sucky realization.

@marijascepovic5582 4 года назад

The best you can do-make things on your own. 🙏☀✔✔

@bettycorral6618 3 года назад

💯I'm afraid at all

@user-tm8ru9ut4m 4 года назад

Great video, it really is important to stay away from these types of people. 💜

@jordan8824 Год назад

Yeabut what if they are random

@bangtanbangtan4989 4 года назад

When you leave, they persistently tell you they miss you blablabla pay tons of attention to you and spend all their time with you and on you and when you stupidly go back to them - guess what - they ignore you once again, act nonchalant, “who you again?”, intentionally withhold affection and communication, act like you’re the one that is clingy / desperate when it’s actually them, prioritise everyone else above you etc and then you wake up and leave and they continuously bug you etc and the cycle repeats until you nip it in the bud.

@DiamondsRexpensive 4 года назад

♦️

@miketrap9767 2 года назад

This happened to me so many times. They always say they need me for their plans to work but I’m just focusing on other things in life. I remember they said an idea that we used to do and a way to bring the past back but truthfully I wasn’t comfortable with and they frankly told me many many things I already know for certain things. I tried writing something better but stress and anger made me scrap the script I was working for them. I had to disconnect to focus on my mental well-being and hopefully I can do this without them coming back to bring my progress back down.

@iamjanessa22 Год назад

Life is so very short some people you push away never come back it must be so very lonely for the controller and shameful

@mheiseus 2 года назад

Once you set boundaries, you are gonna make allot of people angry.

@jensb9909 Год назад

Let them be. If you stay to them, they will remove themself!

@johngonzalezjg3529 3 года назад

I live with a uncle that has a controlling personality and I can say this is 100 percent accurate

@hagersalah1540 Месяц назад

This is the worst type of friend anyone can ever have, and what's even worse is when it takes you so long to get away from this toxic relationship.

@olafweyer859 7 месяцев назад

This video so nails it! - and it's general enough to recognize it in all relationships, not just romantic ones. Well done!

@bagsarepacked8753 2 года назад

this was helpful. Got out of a marriage this year after six years of being massively controlled, degraded and abused. I decided to try to maintain a positive friendship till they tried to control me that way as well period for me the most horrific part was when they pull away all their affection! The second-worst is when you do stand up to them and they decide to lash out where my case become extremely abusive to get that control back. If there's anyone out there in a relationship like I was in just know that there is light on the other side! Removing yourself from a controlling can be extremely hard, but once you are free life can be beautiful again!

@thehoneyeffect 2 года назад

I know a few people like this, I’m trying to distance myself from them.

@blessedbeford6130 3 года назад

I had close friend like this, thirty years of her making all the decisions about where we go out socially. Being invalidated, told to shut up and never allowed to voice or say how I feel.

@coenterhaar9183 3 года назад

If it's too difficult or complex to get divorced or leave, make sure that your self esteem doesn't get destroyed or affected as shown here. Controllers are crafty, and be wise to that. Know when to keep your distance, stay silent, react, walk away etc. Always, keep your sense of self healthy. Controllers are also know it all's. So what. Don't let it affect you. You can perfectly function on your own, without their arrogance. They don't know it all, and you know that. Spend time with people with whom you can be yourself, or be more on your own if necessary. Hold onto good times and memories when you were happy, and when you are happy. Hold onto who you know you are. No one has the right to control you. No one. You deserves to be happy like everyone else. Whatever controlling problem, or issues your spouse or partner has, it's their problem, not yours! 😊

@TheEljazairi 2 года назад

1. chronic criticizing - solution: leave 2. angry with questions 3. use guilt to manipulate you 4. have no interest in your opinion 5. makes rules for your life 6. showing love and creating a distance 7. making you feel bad to be yourself 8. they try to make fun of you

@Grond605 2 года назад

Agreed, all I can say is however big someone can make themselves, there is always someone bigger and worse than they are. Payback is a bitch. I have no sympathy for those who act according with the examples you have outlined. It’s such a shame how these people can ask for an opinion but when the opinion does not align with they’re beliefs they shoot them down and make the opinion for them.

@Denise11Schultz 4 года назад

~Thank you for this very helpful video. ~It seems it is written mostly about people who are in a bad situation and they don’t believe in themselves enough. That is true for many people, but some people who Do believe in themselves (a lot) may watch this too, and there are some people in the middle. This bad situation can happen to all types. ~Please remember that you can be confident and believe in yourself no matter what they do. You can hold your own truth and heart even if the situation is ongoing. ~So, many people only talk about the only solution is to leave. But that day may not be here yet for any # of reasons. Continue to remind yourself of who you really are, you can survive, and thrive. When you can even leave the room, you can be with your good self right then. ~That valuable self, your true heart, who is not perfect (no-one is) is good, and good enough. ~You can be like the pearl, who grows layers of beauty no matter what. ~There may or may not come a time when you can leave, it could be any day, or some day, or today. ~Today, and every day, you are a pearl, and that will do more to make you ready to be free than anything else. Be free inside whatever happens. Every pearl knows how to love themselves.

@mayarmshmsha957 3 года назад

I just want to address that some controlling personalities want u to follow their plan because they think it's the best for u which is still harmful of course because u won't have a say in ur life and I would appreciate it if u made a video about that

@starzintheskyz4477 2 года назад

For some reason there's always gotta be one person at work that is like this. And I dont understand why people let people like that get away with it.

@steezysports 4 года назад

Dang, wish I would have found this video sooner, would have saved me a ton of arguments haha thanks, and awesome drawings by the way.

@haleypalmer2569 4 года назад

Ton of headaches to 😆

@steezysports 4 года назад

@@haleypalmer2569 tell me about it lol X)

@Lp-vw1lf 4 месяца назад

Thank you so much for this video! What was shared has brought a lot of clarity & understanding to some of my past/present relationships!

@Bladerunner55217 3 года назад

Thank you so much for this video. After high school I picked up a trade so I’ve never attained knowledge from college courses like psychology etc. So I was in a 4 year relationship with a woman that used everything you talked about in this video. I mean exactly like you talked about. I thought maybe she had issues but every time I confronted her about them she would get upset and not want to hear anything I had to say. Which is one of the things you said would be the case. We have been separated for a year now and I hurt so bad and miss her so much because for the first year she was amazing to me. She helped me get out of a whole I dug for myself. In so many ways. So after finding your video, my jaw dropped! This is exactly what she was doing and you made a lot of my pain go away. Thank you so much.

@Bebe-qw7oi 3 года назад

Well explained and it is truly extremely sad that controlling wannabes exist. Someone that has a mindset of what they are doing is so very very good and attempt to make it seem like if what your doing is so very very bad is the mark of a nosy trouble maker that hasn't found purpose. Thanks for sharing such an informative video.

@jennyp4934 7 дней назад

I know an older couple, both in their late 70s, and the husband is quite charismatic, and most people love and adore them and think they're quite amazing and they are lovely to people. But I've recognized that they actually although nicely spoken, are actually keen to dominate and control others. They do this under the guise of love and kindness, and they are kind to people, but I see that it's a way for them to be in charge. As for me they both act strangely and basically tell me I need them to help in making decisions and they both continually say little snide remarks that imply that I'm inferior intellectually, etc. I am in my early 60s and very in control of my life and I see that they find my independence very challenging.

@KatsGames4 4 года назад

This sounds like my friend I've known for years. Since my parents passed away and she's been telling me what to do with my stuff and I can't do this or I can't have that. She told me to get rid of my computer desk that I just bought and she said, "You don't need that for your computer. Get rid of it!" She tells me what stores, I shouldn't go to. She told me to get rid of my car, etc. She doesn't like the idea it's old and I'm like, "Nothing wrong with it and it's paid off." I've set boundaries to her and she just won't back off. I live in apartment and she asked me if I like it and I said, "Yes. I do. Only, complaint is. The people isn't picking up after their pets. I'm about to report." Sure enough. Last Sunday and the friend reported to my landlord (before, I even had the chance to). She even asked me what message board that I'm on. I'm in my 40s. I think I can make my own decisions in my life.

@mizzyproductions8910 3 года назад

Did you manage to end the friendship? Cause I'm at breaking point with mine and I honestly don't know what to do. It's caused me depression and suicidal thoughts and I've now been put on to meds because of it so if you have any advice on how to deal with this I would really appreciate it ❤️ Hope you managed to break free from your controlling friend and that you are alright ❤️

@dalitm7315 4 года назад

Thanks for the video. It is very informative and a brilliant summary. I was controlled by my dad and then my ex husband. The interesting thing is that I recognized my dad’s controlling disposition because his means of control is in your face. You cannot miss it. His way or the highway. I vowed to myself that I would never marry a controlling man. I didn’t recognize it in him at all, for years. My ex husband controlled me in a much more sneaky way. When we were dating he was charming and loving. A month into our marriage it started. I remember the exact incident. From then on, I couldn’t do anything right, he criticized my every move, and there was never any appreciation. There was no communication, and he would get defensive on a whim. Gaslighting was his method of communication. I was also a mere object to him, my values and ambitions were of no interest to him. What I would love is a video on what makes for people like me, what kind of personality allows for this kind of treatment? And how, as a young person, can you recognize it and prevent yourself from falling into this trap?

@Denise11Schultz 4 года назад

Dalit M thanks for all your points. And please excuse if I laugh, did you marry My ex-husband??? Perfect description. We all get through it somehow.

@dalitm7315 4 года назад

Denise11Schultz hahaha thanks for the response. There are so many narcissist/empath relationships out there and they are honestly all the same so you and I are 2 of many many victims. But yes, life goes on. At least we got out and have a second chance at life!

@AdreamlyfeByMichelle 3 года назад

Excellent points and so well explained...

@yaraattar6267 2 года назад

My dad was like this, just realized that I was doing this without knowing :( I’m going to do everything I can to change

@fairymairah Год назад

There's also such thing as arrested development. my relatives were very controlling of me as a child. they made it forbidden for me to go places on my own. they convinced me that this is dangerous. even though it was barely dangerous at all.

@clint1285 Год назад

My family is controlling also

@KoJohanna 7 дней назад

Well on the flip side after watching this video i have discovered i am so controlling. And i felt ashamed of myself that i behave in this manner. i never even knew this was a problem or that i even had this mentality. it makes sense to me in my day to day interactions with people, especially women. one in particular. thank you so much cuz when you know better, you do better. thank you for this.

@jackgoodings 4 года назад

It's very well appreciated that you've purposely kept this non-gender specific. Thank you.

@njokor3047 3 года назад

@nomad8095 3 года назад

@Nakkie Aids stfu

@jasonstewart3748 3 года назад

Strange how people look at things from their perspective, huh?

@user-yv1fh3fc8y 3 года назад

They interrupt you whereas you cannot complete verbalizing your thought and to signal to you that you are not important.

@pamelameckley7308 4 года назад

Wow, I'm in a controlling relationship with my boyfriend. (Him being the controller.) This sucks. I love him but he makes me feel so bad about myself. How can I love someone that seems to get off on tormenting and torturing me? I need help. 😦

@baneledlamini6582 4 года назад

No sweetheart just end it. See it's hard I know, going through the same shit as we speak just end the relationship if you know what's best for you...

@DiamondsRexpensive 4 года назад

@@denisequinn9015 Well, she didn't lie about makeup

@exbronco1980 4 года назад

I used to have a friend. we would disagree on stuff. I wasn't criticizing him or ordering him, or criticizing his loved ones, but he'd get upset and say "let's change the subject." it was his way of silencing me, and he got away with it for years. for years, i thought "oh he's upset, i better shut up." one day, he did this tactic one too many times on me, and i figured him out. now i don't give a shit if he's angry or not when we disagree. he severed ties with me a few months ago, and I'm not real upset about it.

@markh1085 4 года назад

I am just coming out of a controlling marriage. God this video hit a chord. 15 years I chased around yo please her and still felt I could not be good enough. Finally as my Mom went under treatment in her last months I rushed to be with my mom. As my family and I cared for my Mom, I was inundated with texts of how I had made my wife feel worthless and unloved and how dare I abandon her . It got really bad. But the plus side is the distance from her at that time and that she held me to ransom made me realise. When I went back and faced her after the funeral, she cried that she thought she lost me . Very loving, for a day or so then the insecurities started. Worried she was losing me , how will she cope . Then I truly believed I did not care . Now I am going through the divorce and she holds my clothes and possessions to ransom. But god I feel better now. Finally this irritating bitch is going . But you do not see it when you are in it .. finally life is good . Thank you 🙏. Very true video

@BlueButterfly-mw8ld 3 года назад

I have had my share of controlling partners, sibling. I call them narcissists. Lower my self esteem, absolutely. Boundaries and a huge sense of humor is needed.

@victory9015 4 года назад

Some people just dont have much going on their life!

@blackrose2398 3 года назад

I dont know if im becoming like this . I dont want to hurt others . So far i dont see myself

@brianhoule3219 4 года назад

Will tell you that they'll help out with a certain household project then give you every reason why it's not a good idea to proceed !!!

@yourfutureisnow6480 Год назад

Honestly, controlling personalities usually doesn't seem this way. Most people catch on quickly to such behaviour and run. They're usually love bombers and are nice to you. And say and do things to please you.

@IndieThinkerJ 3 месяца назад

I have actually been accused of pretending to hate things they love, right down to specific candies and bands. I simply cannot possibly have a different opinion! Do they not realize how exhausting it would be to try to remember everything I would be pretending not to like? They aren’t worth that much effort. They go bonkers when my method of doing something isn’t how they would do it too after they suggest it and I choose what I like. I’m so much happier now that I recognize the sneaky things they try to do. I’ve kind of checked out mentally with them.