Although I am pro-choice this was very interesting to see your viewpoint. It's so hard to have deep conversations with people today without them seeing it as a black and white situation and be ready to either fight or try to convince their point of view is the right view. Thank you for sharing your story, especially with your growth even with having had an abortion beforehand.
Very well spoken and well said. Your growth and development is astonishing. I think it's inspiring that you could not only change your beliefs and then have the introspection to understand that was a different version of you. I loved the point about changing your beliefs. Everyone is allowed to have a change of mind. People change (or they should) all the time! There are subtle changes that you may not see, but it happens. There are HUGE life changing moments that make people change, too. Change is really just growth depending on your reactions to the situation. If it's okay, I'd like to share a little bit, too. I was raised by a single mother. My mother was my father's mistress. My father took care of my mom financially (he had a lot of money, or so I'm told). My father told my mom that he did not want her to have a baby, to have an abortion or adoption - but he would not be responsible. My mother loved my father, like that was her person and that's why she was okay with being the mistress - because "at least she could have him sometimes." When my father demanded the abortion or adoption, my mom told me she didn't even hesitate when she told him no. Not a doubt in her mind, even knowing he would leave her. He did leave my mother, of course he did. (I've never met or spoken with him, and I think he died in 2009). Because my father took care of my mother financially, when he left she lost everything. I was born into homelessness pretty much. For 5 years. In Las Vegas. She made sure I was safe and we would couch surf with friends and hotels. She worked 3 jobs and donated blood. She did all of this....for me. She didn't even know me, but she loved me more than the "love of her life". My mom died when I was 15 years old. She never married or even dated another man. (Oh side note, cause I'm sure you might be wondering - if you're even reading this - my mom did not pursue my father for child support. I'm not entirely sure why, but I always understood it as my father's wife did not know about my mom and taking him to court would hurt him and his family. My mom did not want to destroy a family over money. So, she just let him go gently into that good night.) All this to say, I could never have an abortion - personally. I think it would be equivalent to spitting on her grave and all she did for me. But that's MY story - what affects me personally. It's also made it very difficult for me to be entirely pro-choice. Like, if my mom with an 8th grade level education could do it. I whole heartedly understand it's not the same as rape, but I essentially stole the love of her life from her. She didn't resent me, blame me, hate me, regret me; she loved me unconditionally until the day she died. I knew a girl in high school, who had 13 abortions by her senior year. Not through rumors, like I really knew her. She thought of it as birth control. Legit. My best friend lost her baby at 23 weeks, and it devastated her for years. Even now she cries for him. She struggled for a really long time to have another child, eventually she was able to get pregnant again - but there were complications with her rainbow baby, too. He's healthy and happy now! She was told "when you have your rainbow baby, it'll help." It didn't. She still mourns for her lost baby. I absolutely LOVED Genay's point about - why is it that when women want their child we refer to them as babies. But when we don't want to have the child, they are called fetuses. I've always thought about it as the concept - once you name it, you'll love it and become attached to it. ("it" as in general terms, animals, toys, whatever) But on the flip side - it's EXACTLY as Genay said. This isn't a black and white topic of conversation. It can't be and will never be. I've always been in the middle road on this, because while I could never have an abortion - I'm not judge jury and executioner, I cannot make life-changing decision for everyone. Also! Can I just say the comments below are amazing! This is how conversations should be. No one shamed or talked down to anyone - even when there are disagreements. Beautiful. It gives me a little hope in humanity. Even made me comfortable enough to share. Thank you!
I really appreciate you being vulnerable and open to talking about such a heavy topic. Also hearing about how you’ve changed your views on the matter was eye opening because this conversation can often be so black and white, even though there is so much nuance. I am pro-choice and I do believe that it is ultimately the decision of person and their supports to determine whether or not to carry to term. Because there is so much nuance as to why people may need/want an abortion, I find that the public discourse of abortion focuses on two extremes. I personally feel if someone does not want an abortion, do not have one. The same as I would say with refraining from it choosing whether or not to use drugs or alcohol, using psychotropics for mental health, tattoos, surgery, etc. Because ultimately we do not know what others are experiencing or what the state of their health is, their finances, if they were assaulted, and so on. And having worked in the medical field and in women’s health, I have seen so many individuals who have had to make the choice due to life-threatening emergencies and sudden acuity changes even when they planned on having a healthy birth, and it’s heartbreaking. Sorry for the long response. Really awesome episode and thanks again for being open!!
I'm pro-choice with the caveat that I do find it hard to accept when people are careless and use it as a stopgap, that shouldn't be the lens for abortion in my opinion. I don't see pro-choice as a form of birth control, rather I see it as necessity for medical or abuse-related reasons. I sort of wish there was an in-between term, somewhere between pro-choice, and pro-life. I still do see it as a very personal decision for anyone, but I also try and keep my mind open to all different opinions and experiences. It really does seem to be less black and white than the media tells us. Thanks for sharing Genay.
If anything, people should realize that abortion is a big deal. Even Genay is dealing with the consequences a decade later. Quite a touching story and important arguments/insights.
I've always been pro life inside pro choice to me. In the way I would never have one but there's so many situations that can happen that I think the option should be there. With that being said there was some questions or statements you made that did make me think "well why is it like that" and realizing I don't have an answer. I also appreciate you acknowledging that it's not so black and white I think a lot of people look into every situation as black and white and it's usually not so simple
Genay, you are such an intelligent and well spoken person. You made a lot of good points during this. I myself am prochoice and believe everyone has the right to do what they want with their own body. However, there are so many different reasons and circumstances where both sides can be in the right. I seriously considered having an abortion myself when I found out I was pregnant with my 3rd baby. I had had my tubes tied after the birth of my 2nd and was dead set on not having any more children. My 2nd pregnancy was extremely traumatic and I did not want to go through that again. However, I just couldnt bring myself to terminate it. It didn't feel right and I personally knew I would not be able to deal with the guilt afterwards. So I feel like Im both prochoice and prolife. Im prolife for myself but I cant expect everyone else to feel that way too. Thats why I feel like Im prochoice when it comes to everyone as an individual.
I think you are very brave for speaking on this subject on a platform like RU-vid. Thank you for opening up about your experience. I also think that it’s awesome how you explained your transition of beliefs and from my understanding do not torment yourself for what happened in the past. That’s a very hard thing to do.
Well you’ll be pleased to know it did make me think. As your (maybe 1st?) proud CF convert, it definitely made me think. But then again, I’ve made a decision and taken action to prevent that exact situation you found yourself in at 19. So hopefully I should never have to ever consider this for myself. I would be jazzed to bounce it back and forth with you though; I’ve always found the beliefs you confirm or alude to sometimes surprise me and when you explain your reasons, it makes me sit back and 🤨🤔. It would be super cool if having viewer guests could work out though. Idk the logistics of that as a public personality.
Thank you so much for sharing. I am pro-choice even after my abortion I had at 31 due to failed birth control. It was a hard decision because I was already a mom of 2. I don’t think most women take that decision lightly regardless of what they believe. It was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. I had so many issues with the birth of my second child, I don’t think I would have survived another. I do appreciate your calm explanation of your beliefs and how they changed.
I am so glad that you told your story. I also used to believe that abortion was okay, but now I lean more towards pro-life. I still struggle with the rape reason because I cannot image what it would be like going through something like that. I also agree that if we cannot all come together and have a calm rational discussion about these things, then we cannot learn from or understand each other's experiences. Just yelling at people that we disagree with is not solving any problems. Love your podcast and hope the best for you. You are awesome!
I don't like getting political talk either, but I always believed in both choice and life. Each had their own pros and cons. I find it interesting that someone changed their views after experiences though, because I don't know very many people that change their views after a full experience like that. Best thing to do is learn from the experience ❤
Wow, it's not cool they forced you to look at the ultrasound. I do disagree with that being a part of the policy of having an abortion (imagine those who've been raped or their pregnancies are non-viable, it's just cruel in those scenarios). Looking at my child's ultrasound, it was painfully obvious to me that this little fetus may not make it. The fetus was just not alive yet, nor close to looking alive. That being said, you should have a choice to not view it if you do not want to. Abortion is a very difficult thing to go through and there is so much nuance with the issue. I am very pro-choice (for me it's ultimately a medical issue and abortion is used for so many non-viable pregnancies to save life of the mother). That being said, abortion should be rare and we as a country can do a lot better at making the choice come prior to pregnancy. Pregnancy is/should be a choice and in many cases can be done early. I think you lay that part out nicely Genay. Having lost several pregnancies I'm still pro-choice. When we lost the pregnancies I did not think they were real humans yet or children yet. You can still be upset even if it is not a human life yet. It's not soothing to say the pregnancies aren't babies yet, even if that's the fact (even in our cases). The pro-life movement is trying to attach on to the emotional aspects of pregnancies and get folks to feel certain ways. Which is really wrong. We must let people make their own choices even if some folks view pregnancies as children. I'm pro-choice not because I view pregnancy as a choice or not, but because I view folks deserve the opportunity to do what is right for them based on their morals and their religion. Because lots of religions and religious folks don't view the fetus as a child. It sounds like you are actually "pro-choice" but are hung up on the nature of what that choice is about. For some it's not about choosing a pregnancy or not, it's about so much more. Pro-choice allows for the nuance that is involved in the different moral views and different religious views. It doesn't mean that life isn't valuable or precious, it just allows for others to be in a different place and viewpoint. If you're open to others' viewpoints, then you have to be open to their choices (even if they're hard choices or even if you view them as immoral). Just my two cents.
Extremely well explained Genay. 100% this topic is one that can not be black and white. Our first was a miss and it was extremely difficult for us, after trying so hard and "failing". But on the flip side seeing someone that's not trying and get pregnant, but 'need' to abort. What kind of future will you and your bub going to have? Are you in a position to raise a child? Again a great difficult and complicated topic!
As a cis male who can not get pregnant obviously, I always find this conversation to be something where I should listen as I don't have to ever face this situation. Hearing your experience was fascinating and thank you for having the bravery to tell your story. I may not agree with you on some of your points, but I appreciated your position on the subject and having a chance to learn from your experiences.
Our brains can be a sponge for anything and everything our hearts can beat for love beat for sorrow yet as u said you were at a young time your mind wasn't adult of course not we can't be perfect the chain reaction already was set as soon as eve and Adam ate of the tree of life now I am for no abortion I want the girl to have the baby look we going to make mistakes and now your doing the right thing giving out the key giving out your experience to help others and your experience to help them and u Grow and the more people realize they can do this help others and themselves Grow this world will turn from the shit it's in back to a better world The Night has spoken lights out Happy Halloween 🎃🎃🎃🎃 all yr around
