87% Christians Stay Trapped with Covert Narcissist Because They Miss This 

Thank you, Kris! We value your insight and resources that help many people like myself to be able to move forward in a way that cultivates healthier ways of facing our challenges in our lives. This is changing people from the inside out! Yahweh bless you for the gifts He has purposed you with! ❤😌

Amen.

EVERYTHING YOU SAID IN THIS BROADCAST IS TRUUUUUEEEEEEEEEE. THANK YOU SO SO SO SO MUCH

Luke 1:37

So helpful! Love and ready to apply your teachings in practical ways! God bless you and thanks for all you do!

why did u not leave HIM? no need to b a doormat.

​@@Lauren-vd4qepeople struggle with leaving

i dont understand why pple would WANT to STAY with a person who abuses them ie acts like they hate them. its ridiculous. 2 Tim 3:5 tells us to AVOID people who act badly towards us. @@J.F611

So sad that the church doesn't understand God's love does not expect you to stay in abusive relationship

Churches push you to stay… or tell you that you have no grounds to divorce. Sometimes pastors will bully you to stay… especially if the narc spouse has everyone convinced you are the bad person…

@@genevieveyhap-zebro952 praying for you 🙏🏽❤️

@@genevieveyhap-zebro952 my prayers 🙏🙏🙏

God bless you for finding out allot of us are still blind

I want to be able to say what you just said

I'm leaving tomorrow.I'm getting in the truck.That's ours and driving off.After 18 years of marriage, 20 years of with being with tleonard.I'm doing it.I have to whisper this so he doesn't hear it

THANK YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just left my 7 year of marriage from living with a narcissist man. I have left him before we got married but I thought he had changed since he was claiming to be a minister now. He didn’t curse but used the word of God to justify his behavior. For example When did not agree then I was not following his lead as the head. I did not respect his leadership. I would cry out to God daily to help me to be a better wife. I was being tormented everyday. I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown. I just walked out my marriage. I could not live another second with him. I will not speak or text. It is all a ploy. No contact and stay in prayer.

Oh my gosh this is exactly what happened to me. It wasn’t until our first conflict that things blew up. It has been living hell since then. We just broke up for good and I am trying to recover my identity which got so berated by him.

Praise God you weren’t married to him. That’s a blessing! Now do the hard work so you don’t end up that way again. 🙏

AMEN!!!!🙏

No they certainly can’t … you are 100% right!!!

My narc husband has gone to meet his maker. He taught the children well - they continue to despise me.... They even quote the Bible at me - one of them is praying God will smash my teeth....

I understand but they are very insecure people and that's why they need a supply so everything they blame you for it's what they feel about themselves but I get you becos it's as if we are making excuses for them.

Amen

​@@tvdb5299 Please pray for them and dont engage when they are rude. Just be quiet and if you can speak in truth with the discernment of the Holy Spirit and I'm having to do this with my children. It's so hurtful

@@nickymunnik5729 thank you for your encouragement.. I just keep remembering that 'our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed'.

Hi. Thanks for your comment. It gives me some hope. I was wondering if you could help. I haven't officially been diagnosed with narcissism, but I have a lot of traits and I just don't know what to do. One of the traits is that I lack real remorse. Do I want to change? Yes. I just don't know how I could. I've been hiding my traits really well, 'cause I know they are sinful behaviour and I don't want people to find out how awful and selfish I really am. I've often prayed to God to change me. But it's like I've only learned more how to mask and avoid things. Real change hasn't occurred. And I've wondered if it's even possible to change, because what would be left of me if all the narcissistic traits would be taken away? I'm afraid there is nothing else. I feel like I'm empty.

@@sherlockhomeless7138 My personal belief is that we are who we choose to be. I don't know your story; considering so, it's very trusting of you to ask a stranger online for help. I noticed your name is "homeless"...are you currently living outside, or is that how you feel on the inside...or both? Words carry so much power with them, so when you say "I am", then so you become. My best guess, without knowing anymore is that perhaps there's a memory block,or something making you think you can't feel remorse. Did you try asking Holy Spirit for help revealing memories of people you need to forgive, and negative experiences to let go? The magnet of our first 1-5 years is so strong! To break that cycle is an immense feat. Only a hero can do that! I'm sure you're up to it. I'm praying for your personal revival! God bless you.

@@sherlockhomeless7138 if you can feel for other people when they are in despair like you really hurt emotionally for them to the point you really can’t sleep because you care about what they are going through ya know Empathy like knowing someone whether close or not to you might suffer through a really cold night and you’d be willing to sacrifice to give them a break or wish you could help then you might be just suffering from reactive abuse and numb because of reactive abuse and not realize it… Narcs pretend to care about other people they really aren’t capable of true selflessness but don’t be a sucker to manipulative or gaslighting people Remember narcissistic tendencies and behavior are on a spectrum ❤ Hope this helps a lot of people that are true empathy will second guess themselves Dr. Ramani is the Best she has videos on everything just search it up😊

@@sherlockhomeless7138 just realized you put that you were officially diagnosed…I believe self aware narcissist can change just take a lot of time to get there and Hopefully sooner…. God Bless you 🙏🫶

right, I agree,

People always see in other what they are

That’s exactly it. My ex of 15 years never had anything to say about me until I would tell him what he was doing. Then he would flip it and tell me that’s what I was doing. He NEVER had new material 🙄

In their world people are deceitful because they are so and they see through those lenses. Forgive since they are deeply wounded and doing that keeps them safe and afloat, but don't forget how made you feel and get away from them.

Oh yeah- projection is huge with them

I found that in most cases a finger pointed at you should be pointed right back at them

They definitely hate to see you happy & sometimes you’ll find yourself hiding your smile & happiness in an effort to not initiate their attacks ‼️

Yes!!! Same with my husband. I know after 15 years how he chiseled away the joy in my soul… or at least the ability or desire to express it.

No. Evil is best word that fits with any type of narcissist

Yes a wolf in sheep's clothing!!!

Real evil demonic individuals!

Thank you for sharing!! It's really a serious condition that these people have, it's how they are wired!!

God bless Chris Reese. The Lord is using her to educate the church. Pray for Chris as the power of darkness are not pleases at how she exposes the work of the enemy. God bless you Chris.

Went through the same thing.

Submission means to submit to his mission… he is the bread winner, provider… that’s what we are supposed to submit to. Like men in the military… when they get moved around, the wives pack up and go and do things to support him in that way. But, they tend to think of it as though you are a slave and an outlet for their frustrations and issues.

That's is correct!!!!

I do too!

That’s because the regular, moral person does not fathom the 24/7 Game that the Narcissist plays! That precise Issue…Still causes me to be in Shock & Speechless over the Narc.’s Shenanigans. Once you understand the Depth of Malignancy, you Can’t NOT SEE the TACTICS EVER AGAIN. I suppose a Good Analogy would be: If you had a ProQuarterback that you had followed from Day One, you’d almost be able to predict his Moves before they unfolded… And that’s what starts happening with a Narcissist, once you Understand that what they do is Truly, a Personality Protocol that: Lacks Empathy, or, normal human Connection & Love… To include in part: Respect, Dignity, Civility, Loyalty, Reciprocity, & True Sharing in Tasks, Compromise, & Shared Honesty. instead, the Narc. is Transactional = What can they get fm. you & do they need to Fake any Generous Action to Manipulate you?; The Narc. Believes they are Entitled to Dictate & Control, Trick & Lie, cheat & Steal to Manipulate in order to control for their Purposes; to Deny the Truth & Even Call You Crazy when you Repeat their Exact Words, said the prior Moment. They believe Your Efforts to Create: Any & All Achievements, they have a RIGHT to… Especially, if you are Gullible enough to allow them to Steal Whatever! They Need to Teach you that Lesson … just Because… The Lack of a Moral Compass isn’t an Appropriate Description… It’s worse than That… Their Compass is Hallow & Guides Exactly OPPOSITE of all Truth! They’re like a kid playing Monopoly & They are the “CHEATING BANKER”… Truly Joyous When they WIN! Even though it was by Hook & Crook! They Believe Life is Supposed to be for THEIR PICKING! There are 8 TYPES of Narcs. & they can be MaX Malignant… Or~ To the Lighter Side of the Spectrum! But, these people are REALLY into a Personality Style, Permanent Brain Groove protocol! 🙏🏻Hope this helps!☀️🕊🍃

Excellent comment!!!

There are many ppl in church that wins both economical and emotionally to not being held accountable.

90 % of pastors are narcissist

@@marialindahl1855exact zero accountability is taught in church

God bless you.

WTFFFFFF. YOU'RE BLIND. Trauma of having a disabled baby???? You're h_rrible for blaming the kid.

Same here brother. 28yrs and she decided to pretend she's 30 again and single shopping for a new replacement. I made a commitment to God and her that I honored unconditionally.

We're there signs before marriage that you ignored?

@@bajanboy2553 She love bombed me and seemed great. Even my Mom thought she was the one. Everything started changing well after we were married. I didn't know then what I know now about Covert Narcissists.

Amen to keeping to yourself and waiting on the Lord. Every single thing in His perfect time.

@@importdoc7yup

O na mate kawaca

Brilliant! This is my mother too. Going no contact was really difficult for me, but the freedom and peace is extraordinary.

Well done I am in the same predicament. We can only keep ourselves safe ❤

😂🥇✊

Exactly what I did to my ex narc friend who was constantly after me to get "the news" so that she could use it for her favourite hobby - gossiping! 😅

Abusers and narcissists and sociopaths prey on people who are not worldly.

That's right, masters at staying under the radar...worst kind. God bless.

My Mother. She died in 2021 and I’d gone no contact. I don’t miss her and it was a relief. I didn’t used to see My father was a narcissist too. We called him Saint Bob. Thank God for my grandmother. She was my role model. I left town young and stayed gone. My four siblings are so different from me and sucked up. When my dad died last year I was left out of the sizable estate. I’d been threatened over and over to play ball or I’d be “out”. My husband observed their threats and behavior and finally told them to lose our number. Best thing he has ever done! He truly loves me and it’s a healthy relationship. We’ve been married 21 years. No surprise tho I had early disastrous marriage because he behaved just like they did. I was never enough. Getting free is a necessity.

If a man so slow to pull his wallet 🤣. I’ll never seen again😂 you don’t want your kids to have a father like that scarcity mindset 🤣

Being cheap is a narcissist 😂

Well said!! Unfaithful! Yes!! Absolutely correct!!

Thank you for bringing this explanation to light. My 2 friends who are pastor's wives insist that I should stay because he is not physically beating me or physically cheating. But, so much damage can occur before those things ever come about. And they have doting husbands....so it is no difference to them if I sit here and take it. They have their good life and have noooo idea what it is like!

Especially for women I would say 'run!' Why torture yourselves for years? Men are not perfect by any means, but when the pattern of narcissism is established, you're in deep trouble.

This is exactly where I am now and looks like no way out

@@tomazavalkova4032 there is always a way out! Don’t give up hope! I had to outsmart my ex to get away and we were stuck in a lease together that he refused to sign

Is it possible they have CPTSD? The traits are similar but when they have peace in their lives then a kind human emerges. NPD’s are NOD’s through and through. It’s like CPTSD that got switched on permanently

NPD’s*

You CAN get out of it, I did, it was very hard and stressful and first 2 yrs I thought I couldn't get along w/o him, but kept reminding myself of the deception I was living in. Now 4yrs on and I'm so much happier, enjoying friends, loving myself, lost weight and depression. 20 years with him, but no more praise God.

How did u stay married for 57 years if it was horrible?

​@1corinthians139 some people feel trapped. These narcissists are selfish and make you feel horrible if you want to get away from them... my best friend has been stuck for approximately 46 years.

I agree. It's very sad that they will put their own happiness and soul above their spouse's.

Christians are narcissistic

I was trapped in a marriage. Leaving was the hardest thing I have done. How was I going to support my self and three kids? Where do I live? Not to mention a lot of people in my church did not believe in divorce, no support. Should I add that it is always the woman fault.

Do you think that they were saved by Jesus?

@@bonniemoerdyk9809 hi, yes!

I unwittingly married a classic covert narcissist before I had any clue about narcissism. I met him at church and his doting, fawning coddling mother introduced us! It was a miserable and confusing 13 marriage which happened rather quickly after only a 9 month courtship. It produced two beautiful children which was the only real blessings for me during that very painful 13 year marriage. I left him with two very young children (3 and years old) in tow and no money, job or home to escape his abuse. It was the hardest thing I have every had to do to protect myself and children but it was the right thing to do for me. Sadly in true classic narcissist form he spent the next 13 years in divorce continuing to try to manipulate me in divorce proceedings tying me up in court with vexatious motions he filed for years draining me emotionally and financially preventing me from moving on with my life. Sadly his obsessive revenge for me leaving him and taking our children spilled out our innocent and undeserving children to. He has slowly and systematically and with great calculation succeeded in totally alienating my now adult daughter (I haven't seen or spoke to her in over a year now which has gutted me, and he tried very very hard to alienate our son. Sadly my son couldn't mentally handle all his toxic programming efforts to learn to despise me as his mother which is a very evil thing to do to a child, and the manipulation by his father broke in his mind. My son is now suffering from severe addictions and mental illness unable to work or support himself. God has powerfully and miraculously saved his life several times from overdoses. The collateral damage this man has caused to me and especially our two children is unfathomable. God is protecting me with deep faith, courage, wisdom and real and present protection for me and my children as we continue to endure the effects of this covert narcissist who continues to try to manipulate me and our two children to their detriment. I am sorry for the length of my response here to your post, but I felt compelled to share after I read your post. Your ex did you a favour to initiate the divorce but he will never stop trying to hurt you or your 3 children. You MUST get support to endure this with wise, mature in the faith friends, family, professional help. I have been in therapy for years to heal from all the abuse which helps a lot. Most people who have not experienced this type of abuse have no clue what it is about. Kris totally gets this and I thank God for the RU-vid algorithm for finding her channel for me. I also continue to pray daily for God to deliver and heal my son completely, and to open the eyes of my daughter to his manipulations and that our relationship will be restored. I also pray God will heal my heart, mind, body and soul so that I can be fully present for another spouse/partner in life, who is truly in the Lord and who has my best interests at heart if this is God's will. I pray for you Denise for great wisdom, discernment, peace, joy and healing for yourself and your children and that God will continue to protect and provide for all of you. Never give up praying for your children, especially your daughter for her eyes to be opened to the truth and you both fully reconcile. In Jesus' name I pray. Natalie

I am sorry you have to endure this; fighting it only worsens and deepens the pain because it gives you a false sense of control or hope that you can change things; there’s nothing you can actively do. But passively reflect Christ through consistently being gracious, non-reactive, calm, peaceful, stable (the opposite of your spouse at his core, his facade can only last so long before breaking). You may lose all the battles but you will win the war. Let them go, because ultimately God has them- in His hands, more than you or your spouse. I am in the same boat and my child is only one but my husband has shown the signs, traits and behavior since I was pregnant. Triangulating me with my cat and our infant, talking badly about me to our child- all you can do is pray and let it all go. Everything takes time- the long game, is long suffering. Unfortunately. Praying for you.

With men there always seems to be a mommy (narc) involved.

Same scenario with me and my now adult kids…but God is exposing this horror show aided and abetted by corrupt family court

You are correct! Steer clear of this creep! I'm so happy you saw the signs early and escaped!! I had never heard of narcissism nor did I know of any of its insidious signs, so I tried to "make it work" for 30 years and wondered what was wrong with me! UGH! If I had only known!!

You're right, so he could discard you instead.

You're absolutely right! Well done you.

Trying to hurt you because you set boundaries!! Discarded him first!Don't fall for any of his tactics!!!

​@@janetrobinson2699Yes he's a creep!!!

That's good! Don't forget it ok? It can be dangerous

He could be playing he's a Christian & really isn't!!

I totally understand

My ex best friend of twenty four years was removed this year from my life. It’s painful to know I couldn’t accept the red flags. It made me a bit colder but I know God knows best so I accept. She was taking me for granted and taking my kindness for weakness and jealous of me. She would say some mean and unnecessary things and I would dismiss it, God said no no you ain’t taking my child for granted. God is good and faithful.

​@@tailsthefox6568 Pray for me that God makes a way for me to exit my babies dad, as I often feel he is a covert narcissist. In the name of Jesus, amen. 🙏 thank you

​@@shiningstar7793Hop you find away. Bless you, I will pray for you. Stay strong.🌟🙏🕊️👍

@@shiningstar7793 I am praying for you that God will make a way for your and your babies to get away from the abusive narcissist in your life! Praying for God's comfirt and provision! Also for good people to come into your life and to help and support you! In Jesus name, Amen! 🙏💜

@@godschildyes Thank you so much!! It means a lot to me! 🙏 I really appreciate it with all my heart. God bless 🙌 ❤️

@@pameladaggs you can go to the domestic violence center in your area.

Ex actl 😊

Y

God help you! It’s actually a sign you are in the Lord bc otherwise satan wouldn’t need to poke you

That's right. Not sure how much more I can take, though. 25 years is a long time to deal with someone who does not love you, but you love them and give them your "all" in spite of their abuse! The only reason I am still with him is because I don't want to do something God hates (divorce). But sometimes, you just have to do what you have to do for self-preservation.

God also calls us to peace my dear sister. God hates divorce but He hates abuse and mistreatment of wives even more. Pray. You are dealing with an unbeliver and have every right to depart 1 Corinthians 7:15. 🙏

Oh wow. I am so sorry you are having this experience in the church. I hope you get to a place where you start doing things that make you feel loved and at peace within.

There are different ways of looking at it. Serving in your church is serving God. It's ok to say no and to not be available for every request, but if you have a gift or a talent or an ability you want to use it for the service of God and you end up being blessed in return. "Slave" is a strong term that can cause bitterness and resentment. What does He want you to do, if anything, in your church?

@@Kennedy4ever The Bible uses the word “slave”

That's very true. It's very hard to make genuine friends in the church as it is all based on what you contribute to them. I left my church in 2007 for valid reasons and no one has ever even asked me why, even though my husband still goes there and has constant contact with people I knew/know.

Fortunately we have choices to connect or disconnect and if we are not feeling satisfied with our perceptions of other peoples choices concerning us, we have to ask God to help us perceive the situations at hand in a way that will bring us more clarity and love from him. Most things that we make judgement calls on are learned judgement calls for certain behaviors and are not always true. Our minds love looking for validation for a particular experience and what it means for us because it gives us the feeling of solving a problem that will help us in the future to be confident in solving similar ones. It’s a safety preparedness thing our brain does.

You hit the nail squarely on the head.

Yes it has taken a toll on me

A bum

👍🏾

What to do in that kind of situation? I pray Jesus shows us how to deal with that. Also, would like to know how to handle a situation where two of the family members that you live with one is covert and another overt?

You think God wants to help you end your marriage??

Yes if it's an abusive relationship

@@younggiftedandblack7634 marriage is eternal

Mine because of being to closely related

I knew early on that something was wrong with my ex gf,I just wrote it off on her TBI as time went on it was much more.been about 6 months and iam still learning.

Caita jinamu

Unfortunately my mom was a narcissist. We think we all are in some ways. But- hers was officially her chain!! Self importance. Jealous envious demanding very low self esteem, . I gave my life to her and she turned on me bc of finally said no to her. She stopped talking to me after and deliberately named me NOT TO GET ANYTHING IN HER WILL- with the help of my “ darling” siblings

I left with my kids due to his violent tendencies. Bless you on your healing journey.

Thank GOD you are out but how did GOD get you out and set you free ?

We always hold out hope, we are the decent spouse.... hoping for change from the narcissist. So tough. The Lord has us in His hand

Not your fault. You are beautiful and an Overcomer in Jesus Name🙏

@preacherbarbie thank you.... I have found this out as well. Yes, in Jesus' name, I will overcome!!

You are going through what ALOT of us are, just know you're not alone,GOD 🙏🏽 is showing us. we know now, and that's our battle...we will win, and the people will either see, or they don't. im dealing with it now even from my own children 😢 But know this; still love them, we just accept and let's train them up to know how to spot these demonic people,and make sure they don't be people pleasers, and surely don't turn out like them. That they know what boundaries are, and how to put them up. ❤❤❤ Much love too you I know how lonely this Walk can get. Pastor Kevin la Ewing is a great teacher he taught me Soo much God bless you 🙏🏽

I completely understand you!!! It's so heart wrenching and this journey of figuring everything out, unlearning and educating yourself to not fall back in the cycle again is so hard and overwhelming at times. I hope and pray to God to really get to where I need to be because I seriously thought I was not going to make it out from the mindset I was in last year and even though this year has been better than last year I have to Thank God that today I am a bit more stronger 🙏

I hope and pray to God that when you get to where you need to be you can use everything as a testimony to help others 🙏✨️ Only we know how hard it can be to get out of this cycle 💔

It certainly has been in the spotlight for the past several years. Maybe it's many peoples searching for answers in an age that is possibly the most narcissistic in history. Maybe it's God's providence to prepare us for discerning good vs. evil. Be careful out there - many mental health professionals, don't believe it, some who do believe don't understand it, most people don't understand it. I think the confusion is due to most narcissistic abuse is done covertly, behind closed doors. And narcissists are so good at deception that they can warp reality enough to make many people think you have a mental disorder and they are perfectly normal.

You sound like me. I'm 13yrs in and I am still stuck here in this. I've only discovered that I was married to a covert narcissist back in February. This is all so painful

@@kimberlydavidson-fh1hi it is surreal painful , thank God you found this site, you need support so you can unlearn the brainwashing that breaks your spirit & discernment- they are crazy making it almost seemed to me they project their demonic onto us till it sticks & then we sort of manifest their internal sickness but on the outside

Exactly the same here....off track with God

You sound like a very generous, empathetic, and giving person. Those traits are the most attractive to a narcissist because they need "supply" used to describe their need to feel like they are on a pedestal, above everyone else, can do no wrong, etc. Someone who gives generously and without expecting anything in return is a narcist dream come true. But it's not love, it's utility. Like a car that needs gas to run and you are the gas. Don't change being a giving person- that's what God asks of us. The answer is discernment. I have had similar struggles with giving too much to the wrong people. Discernment is very hard to master. I've worked on it for decades and still get deceived. Some signs of good person are someone who has empathy for others even when they are struggling themselves. Someone who gives without seeking any attention. Someone who goes out of their way to help when no one else will. A narcissist won't be the person who dives into a river to save you from drowning. They'll be the one on the shore mocking you for falling in.

He would never have sex with you??? 20 years married no sex??

Can't understand one is married for 20 years without any sex. Possibly what you mean is that he insisted on using protection? If so, that is technically still considered consummation. Wishing you healing!

@@HBudianu , I was young and a virgin. I didn’t have sex before my second marriage at 42. I miss being a mom very much.

trapped? were u locked in a windowless room or something? U could LEAVE any time u wanted methinks, u just chose not to.

@@Lauren-vd4qe , I was teaching at a small university in a small town. You obviously have not lived with a narcissist. They control EVERYTHING beyond belief. When I finally went to a lawyer, he told me exactly what to do. It’s dangerous. I’m glad you don’t have to escape a narcissist.

Re:Boundary settings due to upbringing." If you've grown & experienced toxicity, it becomes your normality, unfortunately. "Do unto others how one would like people to treat you" These demons aren't of God so they take advantage of your giving self with the outcome usually being destroying you mentally & sometimes physically by using you as a punch bag...simple When they met you...they admired whatever strengths you had because they didn't possess those qualities...& quietly jealous of those characteristics...so they destroy you over time & blame you for their well planned manipulative behaviour towards you...simple

Amen I agree with you.

I have just become aware my 83 yr old mother is a covert narcissist. I had a huge blow up 4 months away. What a mess but blessing at the same time. Get away as fast as you can. Now that my eyes are open I see what she has been doing. I pop in once maybe twice a week but am very guarded and suited up for spiritual battle. Things are great as long as I do as I am told and fall in line to her wants. It’s a rough tight rope to walk. Cannot imagine living with her. I had been going to her house every other day to bath her and clean her apt. Over night when I stopped she started to drive and bathe herself and clean her own place, grrrr. Told everyone I dropped her even though I go twice a week with mail and groceries. Keep strong . Lean into the Lord

@@Wendyforwellness wow …. This is so sad and infuriating at the same time. HOW can they be like this ??? I want to cry because I think my mother is also ‘gaslighting’ as it appears that is what your mother did to you.. I pray for the strength and fortitude to leave as soon as possible in JESUS NAME.

@@beloveddaughter717 one take away I heard from someone was they are emotional feeders. She bates me all the time but I won’t give any emotion. Smile, nod and keep my words few

I really feel for you. My mother is also a covert narcissist. Going no contact with her has been incredibly freeing, albeit challenging.

You already know he’s a narc, leave him. A man who shames and guilts you is preparing you for abuse. Why make that easier for him by applying compassion?

Your boundaries are your priority over your compassion for him. He uses your compassion to his advantage so don't give it.

Are you still with him?

If someone is "pushing" your buttons then they are not the right person for you. It doesn't matter how sweetly they talk to you at times. It doesn't matter if they have a good job or future goals or great kisser or great looking. NONE of that matters because it will cost you so much in your heart and mind that when they finally get you to accept crumbs of love from them you feel grateful for that little bit of time and attention. If you are not out then I pray that you get out. If you are dating then ghost him and no contact and thank the Lord.

I feel the same way, but I’m 49 and my husband is 52!😕

Pastor Kevin la Ewing try him y'all ❤

@@juliemcmenamy1294please don’t waste your life! Leave him!

Toxic families are hard to figure out, I'm in one too. And after-effects of the "we're all normal, your insane and need help" routine. That's a devastating dynamic because it eats away at your mental health making you appear mentally unstable. And if it goes on long enough, you actually are unstable and need therapy. This can be a nightmare too because a lot of mental health professionals aren't very knowledgeable on this subject and could diagnose you with a disorder such as paranoia, trust issues, even psychosis. But they got the cause and effect backwards - the family (and there usually is a ringleader that gaslights everyone) had done things that would make anyone paranoid that it could happen again, you didn't have trust issues until the family completely betrayed you, you may still be in touch with reality, but the story is so convoluted that people think you're imagining it. If you're in the early stages of this, find some trustworthy people who understand what's going on and knows your baseline personality. One's who don't don't know each other and don't know you are friends with the others. This is your safety net in case the toxic family narrative moves to the next level and they tell all your friends that they are worried about you, and you need mental help but refusing to get it. That plants seeds of doubt. Friends start thinking of things that were always your quirks, but now they're thinking it's something more serious that they underestimated previously, now it all fits together in their mind and instead of telling you directly they try fix something that isn't broken. I made a big mistake of not reaching out to people totally independent of the family and totally independent of each other. In other words there can't be any ties between you and the anchor people on social media, phone contacts etc. If it gets that far and a gossip circle starts going on behind your back there may not be anyone you can truly trust. Even innocent good friends can get sucked into this loop without realizing it.

Busy learning to set boundaries. It is NOT taken very well by that person, my door is the next one that closes to her manipulation.

@@retha6504 just my experience, as I have read hundreds of the same. It doesn’t get better. A line has to be drawn. And the narcissist will not draw it. They are living right where and how they want to live. I pray you are free soon!

Just to let you know when I divorced my husband I chose not to get a lawyer, chose not to file with friend of the court and chose not to file for child support. I used (divorce writer) it was 149.00 I told him just pay what you can and that was probably 250.00 a month, with 4 Children. Not every month and there were times I didn’t see anything for a while. The marriage was very difficult for 19 years because of his abusive ways and unfaithfulness but I wanted to be kind by not welding the female authority that the state would give me, the Father has blessed me in many ways. These women who abuse this power given to them by the state will become miserable in the end, you can’t hurt and take advantage even if someone hurt you. I feel bad for the men who cant afford much because the ex wife has completely taken advantage of their full power and not just financially but withholding the children also by not allowing the Dad to see them. We’re talking a healthy Dad here not an Abusive one, that I would understand.

stay strong and be safe. I’ve been married to a NarcHusband for 54 yrs. knew it was him that had a problem and not me but didn’t know of Narcissists. I continued to pray to God and today I have peace and quiet. My NarcHusband has Alzheimers and is in an Assisted Living Facility. He is in the best place for him. He takes his medicine and eats where he would not want to do that at home, Thank you God for your blessings, miracles, forgiveness, giving me a sound mind, body peace and quiet.

You do not need to be trapped. Make a plan and leave. 🙏💜

You are describing a malignant narcissist.

Oh yeah, it's so plausible isn't it? It's totally crazy making. A 40 year friend. It was "yes, I'm going to NC with you" 7 days before. And then, 2 days before said "I forgot about the church paint walk, oh so I don't know. Next she calls and she's driving. Crazy making.

Both my parents were so I was groomed from day one. Back then we didn't know about narcs. I've spent my entire life in relationships with narcs. My whole life. No more. Keep your distance with dad. No joke.

Your very vulnerable to being on a relationship with a narc. Be very wise and no matter how attracted you are. No sex. The soul tie will overwhelm you.

Praying for you. This was me and my father for 15 years. God brought miraculous change, eventually in the best possible way. I have no advice that I believe could help, because every relationship is still unique. But pray for Jesus to come into this - he will be working behind the scenes sometimes for years until that specific time when the plan comes together. Just keep going running to Jesus who can and does move mountains. Pursue him first and hope and change will come.