90 Day Fiancé - (Mike & Natalie #38) - Triangulation - Therapist Reacts 

I'm sure Doug is fully booked by now 😊

@@happiness_as_a_currency7121 as long as he doesn’t talk about his patients or sessions with Mike and Natalie, he won’t break any laws by commenting

And I have something in common with our angel Doctor. He calls Doug..Dave and I called my daughter every name in the family including our furbaby before I get to hers 🤣

Yeah me too!! I try to stop telling friends how to "fix it" and just listen.

Same here!

Same.

Yep I never tell people what to do, just hear them out and share a gentle point of view

Yes me too!!

So true!

I think so too. Her friend knows her very well, and I have my doubts about that counselor's qualifications.

🙌🙌🙌

The friend actually knows how she behaves

😅😂😂

🤣🤣

Hilarious! Too true.

🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

Well said

The friends poo ably knows how crazy she is

@@Vasilia4 I wonder if Natalie is not in love with the idea of being in love, or getting married, Instead of being in love with Mike...

@@nathalieiseli-chan4731 she desperately wants babies

we know you don't like Natalie. you left so many comments against Natalie.

yeah, it's weird.

I think she’s aware while not triggered and or hurt but once she is feeling rejected she completely loses all sense of any logic ..... I have a friend like that . She will be like “ yea that makes sense “ n then 2 days later I see her n she’s back on the same record playing the same song .

While Mike has zero self awareness.

I find that his videos help me figure out what I actually want to focus on in therapy so now I am getting WAY more out of my appointments and my therapist even agreed.

So true!

Yep, I'm also learning to communicate better due to the insights and examples explained repeatedly by Kirk. Am loving it.

I am actually really hungry to learn about this stuff and practise these skills. So finding this channel was such a gift.

Literally I use a lot of the methods he suggests in my own conflicts in my relationship and just WOW!

And she's forgotten how controlling she has been.. I feel he is so very scared ... I don't blame him

I think she may be resentful deep down because she feels she has to 'settle' to get what she wants (children).

@@LakiniR9 That's an interesting theory. It certainly seems possible considering how she doesn't seem to like that much about him.

I never thought of that. It takes a good friend to have a good friend and Mike shows her he knows how to keep relationships.

I agree !

From a guys perspective, I think he feels she is the one with the problem and feels that him going is not going to help (since she has the bulk if the issues). I think he’s partially right in that most of the issues seem to be coming from Natalie , but he has his own communication issues. Ultimately they both would benefit from therapy.

@@jtim83 One can't really have a relationship issue alone.

She wanted to see a therapist who would agree with her.

@@lavinder11 I thought the therapist was completely fair and unbiased.

@@lavinder11 what do you mean? I thought the therapist they saw did a great job at not picking sides.

That's lovely!!!

@@krystalroney Thank you 😊

Omg I would love for him to do Reddit relationship advice reacts

On the flip side, there's a huge part of the population holding on for dear life to their toxic relationship, because no-one tells them that what they're experiencing is abuse. I certainly wish someone had told me. It took me a decade to finally leave.

Oh yeah definitely. Dr. Honda gives off strong upper middle class vibes. I don’t think he ever communicated with people from the working class outside of those therapy sessions he used to do with drug addicts.

I couldn't tell you which video it was but he literally did bring that up once.

@@arialnazar4777 he’s a big advocate at therapy being covered by insurance/Medicare. If a Medical Dr told you to go get all of your checks, you wouldn’t say it’s coming from a middle class place because insurance/medical care is expensive.... it comes from a caring professional space.

@@arialnazar4777 he’s mentioned in previous videos how he’s worked with children in rough neighborhoods during his early career (maybe even now too)

I believe he does love her but he feels she doesn't like or love him. She complains about the person he is. And of course that's a turn off. So his love for her is fading as she becomes more and more ugly. He sees no genuine feelings for him.

@@greta8746 I think you nailed it! I don't see any genuine feelings for him, from her either. She sure has run him down - a lot! He knows what she hates about him - but never what she allegedly 'loves' - if indeed she's done a 180 & now loves him again. It seems like he's a last ditch groom-in-a-suit & sperm donor. I think he hopes she has changed, but she isn't showing him any such thing.

@@screeningmimi Exactly. A "last ditch groom-in-a-suit & sperm donor" That's what I see from her behavior.

And a good therapist is almost like a needle in a haystack

Good for you!

👏👏👏👏 good luck!!!

Ya-ya-yay for Yo Yoyo!

@@jd2109 you really haven't learned a thing, have you?

I am with you, I do agree!! 🙂

I agree as well!!! She has to rally and communicate after the fights and bridge the gap. It's a sad situation really. I keep rooting for them both.

@@princesstelevision67 there's a few peeps here that need to work on active listening.

@@jd2109 Dismissing Natalie's issues as her being a nutcase is exactly where Mike is messing up in this relationship. You don't agree with or understand her issues but that doesn't make her crazy, it simply means you don't get it.

It would be if the US had Healthcare for all like the European countries have.

@Barbara yes these various organizations and agencies often have "counselors" of some sort, but not necessarily trained psychotherapists. The laws in this area leave much to be desired.

I used to give my opinion a lot more if I’m getting triangulated, but found that usually people don’t want it, they just want to feel heard. Generally I try not to give my opinion now unless they ask directly, I focus on asking them more what do they think or want to do. They usually work it out themselves. If I think someone’s in a bad situation though i do speak up

when you find out let me know for I see it all the time at work & with family &, friends

@@monchiquita25 Sure! :D

Are they complaining or venting? Are they complaining or are you sick of hearing about it? Have they asked you to help fix their problem or are you just assuming that they need your help? Have you tried telling them you don't want to talk about it anymore?

I just mind my business 🤷🏽‍♀️

@@princesstelevision67 I know i should be able to tell them how i feel, but i can't.. :/ I've been taking it as venting lately and just listen and nod basically. But it's very draining and depressing for me and makes me feel guilty and like a failure, because i can't work at all due to chronic mental health issues.

What’s her RU-vid channel called? 👀

OMG...Way past bizarre 'cooking videos!"

No!... What? Where?

Im sorry that i cant unsee them. They are the strangest videos ever.

Agree 100%. I've been feeling the exact same way. Since she came to the US, she has done nothing but berate him and make his life miserable so it's of course he would have reservations on whether to marry her or not.

@@tylersmith3139 Did you ever had bf / gf like Mike? As someone who was I can tell you it's not as one-sided as you think. Her behavior is 90% fueled by his attitude.

@@angelikapotree2741 If you had a partner like Natalie who gaslighted you because of your beliefs, your food choices, when you want to have a child, said they didn't love you and threw the ring you proposed to them with, then imagine after you went on a break in your relationship, and you got back together, they started the same way again. You also would act cold and distant, she was very mean to him in Ukraine and is still mean to him in the US. Why would he feel ok marrying her if this is her nature.

@@tylersmith3139 I watched earlier episodes but i can see you never had to deal romantically with Mike type. Did Mike even tried to work on their relationship? Sitting on the sofa and sipping bear while telling her - you need to work on it is not productive. You would need to deal with this type - to really understand it but he is breaking her piece by piece. You have no idea how quietly abusive this type can be. while making others think he is a victim. Remember Colt with Larissa - everyone thought he was the victim because Larrisa said some no-nice words and screamed.

@@angelikapotree2741 A) What has she exactly done to fix their relationship, continually insult him and then give a half-assed apology about the ring afterwards, completely ignoring else she's done wrong? Yes, that's helped the relationship sooo much. He All she has done is repeat the exact same behaviour she did in Ukraine, YesYes, he did. In the last season, he was completely fine with their differences while she was the one who gaslighted for those differences. He tried patching up their relationship by giving her a hero's welcome to which she responded by insulting his house and going out of her way to say how much she hates the flowers he got. If your bf constantly berated, gaslighted and abused you multiple times, you also would talk about what they need to work on, but what you guys both need to work on. What is he supposed to say? "Can you stop calling me low class, please?". The fact that everyone expects him to act as if everything is fine and smile and be happy while she abuses him is honestly disgusting. He's not quietly abusive, she's an active abuser and he calls her out on her abusive nature, when Jessie did the same thing to Darcey and Darcey fought back, no one called Darcey a quiet abuser. Speaking on Colt and Larissa, Colt cheated and he was definitely trash, but if the gender roles were reversed and it was a guy beating on his girlfriend for cheating, no one would defend that guy. Both people were utter trash in that relationship, not to mention, she bragged about going to jail for beating him up. Guys don't get those excuses, abuse is abuse, Larissa never loved Colt in the first place so it was easy for her to abuse him and speak about how fat she thought he was when he showed his true colors, he was a bad person, but she's just as bad, he's a cheater, she's an abuser, you don't get to abuse people because they cheated on you.

@Happy Habits Its not me.

But then we would lose his awesome commentary on them! 😅

Thats not a bad side, more like a prediction based on her past behavior.

For real. Even if she apologizes and he starts being warm again, she's still with a person whose idea of conflict resolution is, "maybe YOU need to go to therapy," and that's no way to live. Maybe Mike is secretly amazing and all his good points make up for that bullshit but idk, I think she can do better.

@@princesstelevision67 Totally agree!

Yeppppp super triggering for me as I've lived thru a relationship like this. Honestly I feel for them both, but especially Natalie.

It's the least she aan do, considering Natasha is the one causing conflicts in the first place. Mike never starts fights. He is super easy going. The victim should not be going out of their way to appease the abuser

@@Vasilia4 ... no words... you should meet my ex who was very similar to Mike - you would change your minds very fast. For conflicts you need two people and the person who always act as the victim is more dangerous than you think.

So much same. Had one talk so much about himself, it was all I could do to not literally scream, I am not paying you to talk about yourself, it's about ME.

I encourage you to keep trying. A therapist is a relationship so you have to find the right fit. Just like dating you might not find a good match on the first date. I know it can be daunting but a good therapist for you can be life changing. No worries if it goes in fits and starts. You deserve the get the help you want

@@mojo782, I really, really do.

hi👋

@Itsjusta Hellcat That is a possibility. I didn’t think of that!.

@Andzelika Minco yes, I kept seeing that clip too, wondering when that happens 🤔

Therapy is a healthy form of triangulation.

Yer dumb lol no one said that a therapist isn't triangulating

I think this is the reason she hit him with the fat, low IQ, low class comments. He acts so superior, but he's a virgin who can't even drive, so to speak

Yes! I swear if I was in a relationship with mike I would be screaming and throwing things at him at this point bc I would be sooo frustrated.

@@fridabacklund683 I was in this type of relationship it's a downward spiral - Natalie is already at the beginning - thinking its all on her and it will only get worse - because she will always be too emotional or too cold. At one point - i needed to scream just to get my ex attention.. and he made me feel like it's normal. After breaking up i really needed time to heal from the way he treated me,

What?? 🤣. You think these two are guided by politics at all?? They are miserable all on their own, together

@@Suegeeeee2 My post was about the town, not this couple. Poe's Law.

Time to buy a property in Sequim.

That's what she says. Maybe he decided she was too abusive and unstable to have a child?

And what does that have to do with anything here?

@@lovette7684 just another deception by the self proclaimed righteousness Natalie.

I understood it as she trusts he'll give her the ring back, nothing more

@@MsAmos97 That's my opinion too. She means 'I'll shut up about it until I get my RING back.'

How awful for two people who want to be together to potentially understand each other better, you're right! What a mistake!

@@princesstelevision67 no, you’re right. If *you* think that they want to be together then they should 🤗

@@figlina are we talking about Mike and Natalie? Aren't they married? Yes, definitely should see a therapist, stat.

@@princesstelevision67 wow, they are married? Then they definitely should get a therapist 😂