A Conversation w/ Stephanie Williams: 8 Years & 95% Healed from Benzodiazepines 

I'm so happy that you're doing better. That's a long time and and you kicked butt!

Amen!

Same here, 1 year and 3 months out. Good to read there’s hope.

@@DiogoSantos-ix5sl Glad you kept going too! No one will truly understand what we've went through. Proud of you for that.

What drug were you on? And how long were you on them?

This is music to my ears. I love to hear people are healing like myself. I promise it keeps getting better!

How do I deal with thoughts I'm insane? Nothing makes sense, everything bothers me... The confusion, the Dp/Dr... For me it's 90% mental. I'm doing the Ashton method. Every thought feels horrible... It's just evil

@@CF-Warrior You might need to do less of a cut during your taper, or hold longer with each cut, or both.

Are you holding in between cuts to see if the mental sxs lesson any?

@@pf100andahalf also, when I take my dose, I feel worse.. I dunno

Thank you!

Proud of you!!

Yay!!! I'm so happy to see these comments of everyone healing. Keep going. It's gets even better. 😊

I have so much pain!!! I CTd Xanax four years ago and was put on Cymbalta…which has a side effect of fibro even though it’s supposed to treat it. Is your pain any better yet?

Thank you!

Thank you!! I hope you're well!

Thank you! ❤

I'm 83 and in the middle of this. No windows and in seven month taper off 40+ years of 1 mg Klonopin and two antidepressants. Not much hope to get past this in my lifetime.

​@kathymottinger7136 keep going love. Your day could be right around the corner ❤

Sweet Grace. I was there. Just breathing was a task most days. There will be days when you start feeling a little better. That will remind you that you're most definitely healing. Keep going!

I have been there too Grace. Please know the way you feel right now WILL change. I'm going on 8 months off-when I look back I can see small positive changes. Very small , but worth it. If you can find even one person to listen and walk through this with you, it goes easier.

I'm so happy you're making it on the other side finally. The symptoms will fade away slowly but surely. I'm glad you kept going. Congratulations on your hard work!

@@stephaniewilliams6518 very hard.. I know you know. Thank you

❤❤❤

And I’m only down to 2.9mg from 4mg of Klonopin. I went from 4mg to 3mg in 2017. Maybe that was the start of my downfall. Because when I learned about tapering, I feel awful even just shaving small amounts now. I know people can’t stand me I can’t stand myself. I used to be loved by all and receive a lot of compliments. Now I’m hated and rejected. I’m so broken and hurting and everywhere I turn, it’s more rejection. No one believes the awful things that have been done to my son either. It seems we’re both stuck. He’s only 28 and has never had a chance at adult life. After 4 and 1/2 months in the hospital last year they have him completely sedated- he’s sleeping 16 hours a day. I’m barely able To help him anymore. I need help. I keep hitting brick walls and hate from everyone. It hurts. If I had no responsibilities, I would be in bed all the time or just dead by now. I’ve lost all my looks. All my personality. I’m empty inside. And the church. Ugh I don’t know God they say, I don’t pray enough or read the Bible enough. I’m suffering so badly! I just called a warm line. I was crying. The peer support person asked me If I knew this was a warm line. She said it sounded more Like a crisis. I should be calling a crisis line! What???? And be sent to a hospital? Torture chamber??? More drugs and abuse?? I really pray God let’s me die. I’m no good for anyone and I haven’t been able to help myself. No one cares or even tries to understand this suffering plus the trauma I’ve been through with my son and other family members accusing me and taking me to court last year, but they finally stopped. I’m bombarded with people attacking me now. Plus the exhaustion and severe sadness. I could go on and on but people have NO compassion. I’m judged EVERYWHERE by everyone. I’m just trying to stay alive and hope this hell ends. But don’t know if I can last much longer. Father forgive them for they know not what they do. They really don’t know.

I GET IT. ALL OF IT! You are not alone. I ask God why he keeps me here. It’s hell pure hell. You’re not alone. Prayers for you 🙏🙏🙏😢😢

@@JM-kq7rn 🥲

My GOD! What a hard time you’re having. GOD! Trauma upon trauma. I am so sorry to hear of your suffering. Advice from a stranger like me seems cheap. All I will say is, keep going. Kindness is out there for you somewhere. I am sure it is. My highest hopes for the best possible outcome for you.

You are stronger than you think

Proud of you too!! And thank you!

Thank you!

You will !

Hang in there ❤

I’m so sorry. I was there and I know it’s torturous 😢. Prayers for strength for you!! 🙏❤️🙏

Right back at you sweetheart! Thank you xo

Right back at you sweetheart! Thank you xoxo.

@@stephaniewilliams6518 thank you…😊

Me too!

I'm glad you didn't take it any longer!

Thank you!

Hi, I was on Klonopin for 33 years ~ 4 mg/day for 15 and 3 mg/day for 18. I am 6 years off all meds and doing pretty well. I didn't have windows either, just a slow positive progression. I'm 75% or more healed, but have insomnia, body aches and neuropathy. I'm a 71 year old female. Hang in there, this is the best thing we have done for ourselves. Jan

@@Janet_Price Hi Jan, how did you deal with the constant mental anguish?

@@Janet_Price Thank you Janet. I'm glad you are doing well. I can't imagine taking 4mg of that poison. I had 5 years of tolerance withdrawal that my doctors didn't know anything about even though I told them all my issues. They either don't know or don't care probably both. It's hard being old with no doctor and not wanting one.

@@CF-Warrior - Hi! Wow, is that a hard one. I'm a type A personality and have a hard time dealing with anxiety these days. I have learned to demand less of myself than before. I feel my emotions far more intensely than before. Some days it's torture, mostly it's not. I have a few friends who believe me and that drugs can be harmful. I began taking walks after the first week of my last dose of Klonopin. I could only walk 5 minutes twice each day, but I built upon that. I had to wear noise cancelling headphones, a baseball cap an sun glasses because my sensitivities were so severe. Being outside gave me blue skies, sunshine and wind on my skin. I smiled at everyone, and that helped. I became motivated in the smallest step. I communicated with everyone on RU-vid ~ I received so much support. I get sick and tired of insomnia, neuropathy and body aches!!! I can power walk with the best of the world and have been running for the past three years. My family is not supportive, but who cares anymore?? I can't imagine being back on those drugs and being in a state of complacency. My feelings are intense, but I FEEL........ Hang in there, be kind to yourself and come to RU-vid for encouragement ~ Jan

@@Janet_Price yes insomnia and neuropathy are very bad. It's so hard to do everyday stuff. Thanks for responding. Hope you get to 100%.

Yes grace I feel the same. Hopefully it’ll change.

I missed 8 years or more. I'm living my life once again and so will you. Xo

I was on psychotropics for about 15 years. You name it, I was on it. I got my life back when I went off them in 2011. In my experience, it gets better. From grainy, blurry black and white to eventually better and better and then Technicolor.

@@kjmav10135hi… what’s was your timeline for improvement? I’m 4.5 years.. got way better just short of 4.. had a setback and I’m gradually healing again. Although I’m grateful for the improvements I’ve been able to make.. the glacial healing and long duration of the it all can still be grating and bothersome.

There’s no way. All in your head after just five days.

@@johnsadler3601Maybe you shouldn’t be judging and discounting someone else’s experience. Your comment can really do damage to someone struggling with mental health issues. You may be creating more pain and turmoil in this person’s life. Be compassionate, please.

No it’s definitely possible . I have friends and my self who was on an antidepressant for 2 weeks and one day . They suffered for months . Including myself

@@johnsadler3601 The FDA acknowledges in the black box that it can happen in as short as a week.

@@johnsadler3601 in your brains, body and nerves!!

More than before, yes - although I still struggle sometimes too. It depends on where and with whom.

I don't know of anyone who has not healed from this. Keep going!

Yes, it can happen. See: withdrawal.theinnercompass.org/help-hub/understanding-and-moderating-risks-variable-drug-levels-different-versions-same-0

Yes! I got a different color when script was filled. It was definitely different Rx said it was a different manufacturer 😡. I had to make sure I specified each time “ the yellow ones”. Dear God my friend…my heart and prayers go out to you. It is unimaginable suffering and nobody can begin to fathom it unless they go through it. Please hang in there. 🙏❤️🙏❤️🙏

@@JM-kq7rn I told the pharmacy that I needed the blue pills (accord) because that’s what I’m used to. They told me that they can no longer get accord. For Clonazepam, it has all been switched to Teva - a light green pill. So, the pharmacist of course assures me same ingredients. I’m doing best I can.

@@MedicatingNormal they give me no choice and I’m completely at their mercy. And inner compass kicked me out of their group because I’m suffering and they accused me of not “interacting” or responding to people’s suggestions, which I was doing. I was just talking about the suffering. I guess they are so far beyond that suffering that they have zero compassion on those of us who are still suffering!!! Sometimes the survival community is just as harmful as psychiatry!

Hi, are you a member of any of the online withdrawal support communities?

@@MedicatingNormal what do you suggest? I am on Benzo Buddies but haven’t participated lately. I deactivated Facebook years ago, but if there’s a good group on there maybe I can go back. I just want to feel good again. Normal life.

Does anyone feel they are missing out on life. I’m missing out on the life I would have had had I not started with Xanax 26 years ago- then that caused problems and they tested over 25 different psych drugs on me- switched to Klonopin- before I figured this out. I’ve missed out and am missing out on living life.

@@gracegrace1896 try Benzo Warrior

@@MedicatingNormal benzo buddies- difficult to navigate. Difficult to make friends at all. Surviving antidepressants. Forums are difficult for me. I left FB long ago. I used to be in groups there. Do you suggest any in particular? I really seem to need in person help im so isolated

It's almost always the same answer. Sigh. No informed consent.

@@MedicatingNormal Nicole do you have any information about Sam-e supplement for depression and anxiety, maybe you talked who experience on Sam-e. I already have been taking vitamin B complex, Magnesium and omega 3.

@@vedatzorro I dont, but here's something from Surviving Antidepressants you may find useful: www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/572-sam-e-s-adenosyl-l-methionine/

@Medicating Normal Thanks Nicole for your help. You are so kind. I see generally people have withdrawal problems about Sam-e. Best way to wait my withdrawal symptoms stop.

I even specifically asked myself I didn't want anything addictive/habit forming and they still gave me this crap.

Doctors are trained to give medication in school however I don't believe they are trained on how to get you off of it. ie: taper you off

Because there are people who are 5,6,7 years off who benefit from hearing this. Protracted people exist too, and deserve space to tell their stories. No one on this channel will be asked to censor themselves for the comfort of others. If you are sensitive, it's your job to regulate your internet use accordingly.

The fact I’m suffering still at 4.5 years any success at any time is encouraging. Jesus if it takes 5 more years but I eventually recover and recover well I’ll take it.

Imagine living through it. I did, and deserve to share my success.

​@@stephaniewilliams6518 how many months!? Or years

@@Justinjoise 8 years to feel almost normal. How are you?