A Crap Guide to D&D [5th Edition] - Wizard 

I am so pocketing that one. xD

So many people with fireball are going to use this lol

_You’re talking mad shit for someone in fireball distance_

I think you misspelled Sorcerer lol.

"Bold words for someone within Fireball casting range, peasant!" -Chad Sorcerer Lv.20

Lmao. That's hilarious

Dear Grid Coordinates.

"Occupant"

I. Am. Stealing. This.

Meteor swarm is “dear zip code”

That's why my wizard always has Elemental bane prepared. Immune to fire? Nope, I think you meant VULNERABLE to fire

@@Medaumplay3 thats not how that works. vulnerability makes you take double damage and 2x0 is still 0. immunity overrides it.

Elemental adept. Choose fire. Can now burn fire elemental to death. Profit.

Elemental adapt ignores resistance, not immunity.

@@Medaumplay3not how that works. thats why pyromancer sorcerer are the true fireball casters! immunity to fire, ignore resistance to fire, treat immunity as resistance!

H A Y A T O

*Leans in* H A Y A T O

H A Y A T O

H A Y A T O

KILLA QUEEN DAISAN NO BAKUDAN BAITSA NO DUSTO

Thats not what he said... But I'm sure many wizards have had that conversation with their party.

What he doesn't know is the wizard was prepared for this situation and is not only immune to fire damage, has a counterspell at the ready for literally ever spell the sorcerer can cast (twice), and has made all of the items inside that school immune to damage caused by spells, but also is best friends with every barkeep in the country and can guarantee you no work for a month because he's a wizard.

So... Am i the only one who recognized that king of the north reference?

That was a great one. Right up there with a Dragon Magazine comic panel that had a wizard at the front desk of an Inn asking. . . "What is the rate of a room for a person who can reduce this entire building to a pile of ash without even blinking?" (or something close to that)

@@Getsugaru ways to piss off your DM when playing a spellcaster: "Suddenly, a blast of ice emerges from the fingers of the evil enchantress." Warlock/Wizard/Sorceror: "Um, I counterspell." DM: -long sigh- "The Enchantress waves at you menacingly, then stares angrily at her impotent fingers." Rest of party: "Charge!!!"

Definitely going in the memory banks for my next wizard

Can't hear you over everyone who has even a remote clue what they're doing yelling NOOB!

Says the person also in said fireball’s aoe

Counterspell and Anti-Magic Field exist as does the Wish spell. Not to mention whether you can cast it depends on whether you've been targeted by a Baleful Polymorph. Spamming Fireball is something NOOBS routinely do.The whooe point of an aoe is to target multiple opponents. There are much better spells for single targets.

@@MorinehtarTheBlue what? Are you saying erratic hammering could have prevented this mess?

Brain: yup, its time for a KEKW

You were so close with using the quotation marks correctly 😂

And how many levels did you survive?

"Ok but did you die?"

Klaus, my frost mage: Now let me just alter that to instead freeze you.

Did someone say chaos bed vestiges?!

Counterspell.

Ayyyyy same

Fire Bolt > Burning Hands > Scorching Ray > Fireball > Wall of Fire > Flame Strike > Sunbeam (no good fire-based 6th level spells) > Fire Storm > Incendiary Cloud > Meteor Swarm (The character that had all these spells was named Argus Monty) ((Which is of course an Anagram for Roy Mustang))

Famous last words

@@ArkCiD_Z3r0 *builds a min/maxed character that can heal with fire damage* "I said CAST FIREBALL!!" *The party is not immune though...*

Nat 20. Your fireball sizzles into existence, and the orcs in the room run. So does your party. You are stuck casting. The fireball engulfs the room, and as the smoke clears, nobody is there. Congrats! TPK!

@@NebulousPenguin i mean... it's a 20ft radius fireball... dodging that is a little difficult 😂😂😂

"I didn't ask where you were in the room, I said roll a dex saving throw"

That is one fucked up teacher.

@@Cloud_Seeker I personally believe that the bards are doing most of the fucking

@@comicstrider4851 Not what I meant. That teacher break so many rules (and some might be on the pedo crime) it is just a matter of time until suspension. Favoritism giving good grades because pressure from parents (sorcerer) Sexual bribery not giving enough credit for extra work and sexual exploitation of minors. That is one fucked up teacher based on how many ethics violations the teacher got.

@@Cloud_Seeker I meant it like the sorcerer was talented already so they don't have to study Other than that you're right... Except for the bard.. the bard is probably the one exploiting the teacher lol

@@comicstrider4851 Both you and me know that the sorcerer is only what they are because of their parents. It is also much more common. No. Teachers are not allowed to have sex with student. She/he is using the students to a criminal extent.

It helped chose which school to play in baldurs gate 3

I CAST FIREBALL AGAIN

*Laughs in scribe wizard*

​@@Aredel Eat my Fireball ? Well, try that with this Ball ( bludgeoning damage from Erupting Earth )

Your brain saw that you were about to search the wrong thing and autocorrected it.

So it's confirmed then: Even the RU-vid Algorithm knows that the correct answer to any problem is Fireball.

well yea fireball is the answer and always is

@@lenorevanalstine1219 I'd argue Transmutaed Fireball is the universal answer

But, Bard got a song, was a short one, but they can paint, prance, draw a pretty dirt picture with a Lance, plenty of ways to further enhance, the battlefield if given the right chance.

@@palmermolstad6840 yaaassss

Well of course the bard inspire

And of course, the main gimmick of the bard is that it's artistically expressive in some way. Most people think that means musician. That's because their brain is like this, while my brain is like this.

Luciano Romero *screeches in lust*

Big talk coming from someone with some very solid looking grid coordinates. Lol

“That’s because their brain are like dis while my brain are like dis!” - JoCat, A Crap Guide to Bards

Killer Queen has already touched that dislike button

You’ve activated my trap card, BITES ZA DUSTO!

Octodad sent a friend request

Daizan no bakudan, Killer clean wipes the dusto

Remember to get the Burst spell and to loot the hand of your victims!

As a fan of both this series and yours this really made my day. Linking to our partys 25year pure wizard now.

The most random team up I didnt know I needed but ho boy am I glad I got

Wooo! Zee got a free fun video.

Guys, I found the sorcerer!

Good to see you recovered from that fireball

The wizard in my party did not give one single fuck if a teammate was in the way. He had Fireball, he was using Fireball. Teammate got killed. Everyone got pissed.

Jokes on you, the Rogue and Monk are immune to fireball

I tactically hit a teammate with fireball (as a wildfire Druid. We added it to the list of spells my subclass gives me) since he had absurd dex and was surrounded by skeletons. Killed the skeletons, left my ally on 8 (he was on 23 before) and teammate was not angry

"Erupting Earth" deals 3d12 bludgeoning vs. 8d6 fire damage from "Fireball." The average damage for 1d12 is 7, so x3 = average 21 damage. The average for 2d6 is also 7, so x4 = 28 damage. While "Erupting Earth" has a bigger AOE being a cube, it does not deal more damage.

OneShogun he did do a musical section for Bard...

Yes, bards are a joke.

@@emc246 🖕

Zachary Frazer It’s been so long I kinda forgot- looked over the Bard video after you commented though and, if there was one, it definitely wasn’t as big as the musical segment in this video.

@@skaionex That seems a little drastic.

240 holy crap thats alot for a wizard. HP= Hit Dice 20D6= 120 Con 18 = (+4 HP per LV.) 80 Tough Feat= 40 HP Total= 240 Sure its possible to get more HP but GOD DAMN thats one buff wizard.

@@tylerpendleton7894 he's lived through enough. Poor bastard.

@@tylerpendleton7894 It's 20D6, not 6D20

Wrong, the answer is fireball

@@fl00fydragon Damn! You're clearly right.

Nice reference.

"What are you gonna do, stab me?" -Bugbear who couldn't take a stabbing

He died like he lived. On fire

so is the person in fireball distance.

I can't take either of these 2 comments. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Yeah I had to stop the video to recover my breath.

says the person in crusading distants

your*

Simple...Low Initiative, and the caster was out of sight when he cast fireball.

@@mitchellslate1249 Counterspell doesn't care about the initiative order. Sight does matter, however.

Zee tried. Jo ignored the challenge.

@@sega3607 JoCrap never got the challenge. He was on a different plane and Zee rolled a 1 when he cast Sending.

You just described Duncan Fisher.

Oooor cast 9th level fireball instead

As a Sorcerer I don't understand how you can "run out of spell slots". lul

Mandy Karevicius Blame Karsus, my dude, Blame Karsus

I cast "Counterspell." Oops...wrong game

why do you think they can't cast hex?

Rainy Birb Because it’s not on the Wizard spell list?

No, no, see, it's not "hex" it's the "heck's" you hear when they hit their allies with fireball.

I'm sorry, I don't think the Warlock heard you over their Eldritch Blast.

@@zackr.7835 I would think they wouldn't hear me over the sound of being enveloped in a fireball

YESSSSSSSSSS

What do you mean that was the best conclusion to a musical performance that human eyeballs have ever lounged on

A crap guide to dnd music parodies

Not as good as fighter-man, but definitely funnier.

... Sorcerers have the exact same hit die ma dude

@@nikki607 it's a meme based from One Shot Questers. Despite sharing the same hit die as sorcerers. The joke is that wizards are the weakest class

I understood this reference.

dino striker don’t forget pk freeze

@@dinostriker3253 ness not Pikachu

PK gsdsuysudivnd thunder!

*Vietnam smash-backs intensify*

What was the reference? My brain ain't working too good at the moment.

@@Berry_Goosey Just Fireball.

Color Spray is the strongest spell you can ever use. Its lagit way beyond op. 6 d10 lvl 1 spell slot + 2 d10 any higher spell slot. Dmg total spread out to one target at a time Wizards at lvl 14 get this ability called over charge that allows them to make one spell do max possible dmg at lvl six spells or bellow. Lvl 6 color spray = 16 d10 do the math. Do that two times in a row at the cost of 2 d12 narcotic dmg to your self you'll whipe out an entire battlefield buffor your DM can even complain

@@fluffball6142 You know it's not a damaging spell, right? It's a blinding spell and the dice represent the total point pool to determine how many creatures will be blinded. The mentioned by you ability to maximize dice is "Overchannel" and it's for level 14 EVOCATION Wizards only. It reads: [...] you can increase the power of your simpler spells. When you cast a wizard spell of 5th level or lower that deals damage [...]. It needs to deal DAMAGE. Hence, you can not maximize it. To top it off, it says "Each time you use this feature AGAIN before finishing a long rest, the necrotic damage per spell level increases by 1d12". This means the cost to cast it twice in a row is 2d12+3d12=5d12 necrotic dmg.

@UC11b8eTbAXbCmHzCLWn9lsw "A dazzling array of flashing, colored light springs from your hand. Roll 6d10; the total is how many hit points of creatures this spell can affect. Creatures in a 15-foot cone originating from you are affected in ascending order of their current hit points (ignoring unconscious creatures and creatures that can't see). Starting with the creature that has the lowest current hit points, each creature affected by this spell is blinded until the end of your next turn. Subtract each creature's hit points from the total before moving on to the creature with the next lowest hit points. A creature's hit points must be equal to or less than the remaining total for that creature to be affected. At Higher Levels. When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, roll an additional 2d10 for each slot level above 1st."

Ayyy same

3:11 for reference

Suprise! It was an animated spellbook all along!

@@defensivekobra3873 "Today on the animated spellbook, Dispel mag-" "Fireball."

Nemenian aye, it’s good times.

.... he prestidigitated all over on the desk...

MY LITERAL REACTION!!! (Saw yours while typing my own!) ASB is a great series!

Yes perfection

@@abucket14 SAME

I was looking for someone who actually mentions it, thank you fellow person of culture

Like how the bard started with stalking the paladin but in the warlock video he's blasting his cantrip at their wedding.

LORE

Very cute and underappreciated

Ooooh, i didn't notice that, thanks ^.^

Timestamp?

Well, you're not immune from the roof that fireball just caved in.

@@HyruleSwordsman94 Battle maps with no roofs: I'm also about to end this man's whole career

@@matthewmullinax6026 Use fire ball as an elaborate smoke screen to escape by burning everything around you!

I once used a Wish spell to turn a boss' fire immunity into fire weakness Come at me

Oh god they do not mention abt the tempest socc/cleric

Did Lightning Bolt actually commit suicide or did Fireball do something?

lets not forget how his character reminds me of asriel (awkwardness, etc) and actual alphys

Amen

You forgot old spice Terry

Also that lizard (?) girl (?) from Undertale

vsymesrain Alphys my good sir

Awesome.

OLD SPICE BODY WASH BLOCKS ODER FOR 16 HOURS FOR MORE POWERRRRRRR

I want the full song

so no one told you life was gonna be war mage

Details please

@@geoxaga6507 We were playing Level 17 in a steampunk setting. We had a sorcerer able to cast 7th-level spells. Thus every obstacle was dealt with VERY quickly by a fireball. Taunters beware!!!

Use it at the beginning of the game.

@@joshualayton1905 by law he has to

The hex offender shuffle

"since we are all introducing ourselves.... *Sigh* I'm a registered hex offender. It was one time I may have accidentally hexed some noble, BUT THEY CAN'T PROVE IT! Anyways, that's why I'm no longer allowed back at my college and have to adventure to put food on the table."

Have you been able to?

Nice!

Bard did all the extracurricular shit.

Lol

Warlock's mom is the teacher BARD slept with the teacher

Bard is warlocks dad wo also slept with the teacher

I mean it objectively cannot be false lol

Sorcerer is just so much better. I mean yeah you get access to more spells ut that trade off for the amount of daily casts and the frailness is so not worth it

@@TheWanderingLPer when you can cast fireball and then quick cast a other fireball in the same turn......yes pocket nukes

The Gaming Trucker: How can a sorcerer cast more spells daily? Wizards are capable of getting spells lots on a long rest AND can cast ritual. Near max level they have the ability to cast certain spells for free as well. Sorcerers are also only verrry slightly less fragile as they have the same hit dice as sorcerers.

Actually once figured out that given the classic min maxing that 5th edition players are famous for, wizards have a slight edge in multiclassing versatility because they're one of the only classes with exactly one stat that matters. This means you can pretty much do whatever you want with the other stats and it literally won't matter. How I applied this was by starting as a 1st level Fighter, get shitloads of proficiencies, and then turn wizard 1 level later. Then suddenly you're a tank with spell slots without having to use war caster.

Kay Jay same here

I actually chose to be a Wild Sorc between these vids and Dingo's Sips stories.

I chose to be a Ranger

@@0akes why not a fighter with a bow, it's way better?

They're sarcastic, but that doesn't mean they're wrong

C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

Damn shame he missed Bladesinger from SCAG. The OG 5e wizard tank

@@roderickwalt2969 to bad its only for elfs

@@Lord_Xonaz thats true, But a DM ciuld say nah and let anyone play it

@@roderickwalt2969 if only they where that nice

Please elaborate for the uninformed.

No.. Never mind. I figured it out. ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-sxZSXyCeXL8.html

😂😂 Truly most excellent

Glad I wasn’t the only one who caught it

Someone pull an RTGame and replace those BLOCKs those actual gun sounds

DEFENSSSSSSSSEEEEEE!

Lost my mind at this lol

BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK

I cried when this came on. It was too perfect

Lore Mastery Wizard: _laughs in Force Damage Fireball_

@@CollinBuckman *Laughs in UA isn't officially allowed content*

*laughs in elemental adept Wild Magic sorcerer*

LAUGHS IN ELEMENTAL ADEPT

@@fredapel6039 Elemental adept only works on resistance, not immunity...

Accurate as fuck

Bard: Doot Doot Magic Flute!

After hearing much of Greek lore, I'm pretty sure mom making out with Zeus was not what she wanted at all. Zeus is gross.

Artificer: I flunked out of the magic program and took auto shop instead.

Ranger?

"How do you wake up for school" *this song is heard in the distance*

Gimmie gimmie !! Im in love with the song

I mean, I used Smite for the ring tone, so I'd be down

Same!

SAME

That bit is literally how I learned the schools of magic when I first started playing 😆

Makes sense considering not long ago terry crews did do a amazing dnd playthrough vid

A surprise to be certain, but a welcome one.

Yes. Bat guano.

There’s probably a rule against it, but who the fuck read the rules anyway?

You can! And for only the price of one firebomb!

For the price of (1) fireball you can turn something into a mass of fireball. Fireball begets more fireball. Like an STD, it's the gift that keeps on giving.

I’m skeptical that you can but intrigued that you may.

but... that's it. he listed and described each school of magic. there is nothing else.

It's in the description.

It's an adaptation of the overture to Jacques Offenbach's "Orpheus in the Underworld", better known as "the" can-can.

Im still hoping for a full release of Fighter-man.

The terry crews part killed me brb becoming a wizard.

But it's missing a subclass. The bladesinger.

We need a 24 hour version of this.

@@Imabirdhaww It's only fair people get to know about it. It's a good subclass.

@@conhunter7024 No one ever speaks about bladesingers, it's a taboo

@@conhunter7024 little bit butthurt about your favourite subclass not being in there?

It works tho

And if it doesn't work, then you didn't use a high enough spell slot.

Party wizard: "Lets go abjuration, get some utility." Me, a phoenix sorcerer: "I'm gonna set myself on fire and then fireball the crap out of everything."

as a soon to be fellow light cleric, I can't wait to disappoint my party by not preparing create/destroy water

Damn..... my cleric must be doing something right. She sets everything on fire and the wizard actually left the party.

"This spell lets you turn creatures into other creatures." "Fireball."

type: animated spellbook fireball, into youtube and the Zee bashew will give you the quick run down

Killer queen has already touched this comment

@@swiftswalow iS tHaT a JoJo ReFrEnCe?

Killer Queen, daisan no bakudan

Hayato.

Don't forget to take a cat as your familiar

Sooo... Dance Dance Level cube? (Wtf is this joke)

@@flooferjay3245 Some free steam game that got popular a while back. Horror dating sim sort of deal, Doki Doki Literature Club

And then jojo

“I’ll cast FIREBALL, like a fire in the lava flowing hell, strut my stuff and make it cast FIREBALL”

“My spell is so SHINY!!!”

If I could just get the BLOCK on an hour loop that'd be great

That would be great

Yes please

Would be great

I would love to see an expanded version with a full two verses and a bridge before the final chorus. Then we could make it into an ACTUAL music video.

Underrated comment (for now)

Beware the Buff Wizard. He only knows 2 spells: Fist and the godly Beat a Mofo with another Mofo

That one monk who thinks he's casting magic but doesn't realize his fists are infused with Ki: "I want to cast a spell", dm: "What-" monk: "I cast fist" dm: "... ok?"

War Mage is legit. Took on a Paladin, in melee, and won with a Mountain Dwarf War Mage

oh mighty muscle wizard, might you cast us a spell?

Yea you think he would get at least one right

​ it was a test about social interactions

@@gallalameblook9911 Still feels like Fireball is an answer to at least one social interaction :)

Tests rarely cover allpossibilities, besides, Fireball is such an obvious answer to most problems they probably wanted to test for more intricate solutions.

you dummy, fireball is never the solution. fireball is the question and the only answer is yes

He had me dancing, not gonna lie

ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-e6vrLtNnJDA.html

@@user-oi8wc3uh2s did you seriously link your own video?

Helps that the VO is expressive too.

That is when I hit them with my backup plan and throw a molotov cocktail for a bootleg, nonmagical fireball

Same, actually. My DM had that same situation, but he said Conjuration, so I sang this, and was like, "Hey! It's a summon glyph!"

6x

It's a very useful mnemonic device.

War magic is like tank mage getting lots of defence flexing as you cast BLOCKBLOCKBLOCKBLOCKBLOCKBLOCK

is that... Monty Martin ?... cos I like that guy.