You are absolutely right and I have said something similar. Even when men sleep around they are trying to in a certain way protect their hearts so that they don't attach to any one girl. It's funny and ironic because men are commanded to love wives as Christ loved the church but many men are so punkish nowadays and have been throughout history where they seek to preserve self, seek to protect self in the wrong ways, when often, there is nothing to protect themselves from except themselves! The one who cares and is invested the most is absolutely the one with the least power and it seems the pursuit of every man is his warped sense of power in everything he does. He wants to have and maintain his idea of power. And yet women have been looking for love with these people? Thank you for giving away the game.
A very clear explanation of holding ourselves to our own standards. Thank you Tony!! Now I understand that when I hold myself to the standards I want in my life the men will have a chance to choose to hold themselves to a higher standard for both of us. 🤯🤩🤩. And I guess the ones who don’t choose to hold themselves to those standards don’t really want me for the right & true love reasons. This makes me cry & feel joy at the same time. For all the times I gave in for fear & lack of self worth. Growth is an everyday experience. 🙏🏼🙏🏼
Thank you Tony. That point about us giving men more power than they deserve is so true. Doing things inorder to be called a good woman still won't him see your value if he a grown boy.
Hi Tony! We appreciate you so much. I agree with you on everything. What about good men with character who may not feel like they are providing if the woman is more successful so feel a bit jealous or resentful? If your spirit feels led to that topic can you talk about that maybe in another video? Also, how can women tell if the man is truly productive? You were at a level that was age appropriate. What would you say to a woman who meets a man at the level you were when meeting your wife but is 35-40? Is there a difference. I’m just very curious about those things from your perspective. I’ve been following you and supporting since 2019 so thanks for everything! Thank you and God bless!
I just wanted to say THANK YOU for what you do. I've been listening to you for 6 yrs. I've applied the tools you gave me, you helped me be successful in my absence journey, and now I'm married. I got married last month. 🎉 Thank you!!!
A man respects a woman who will not be used, who won't compromise, whe demands respect, who holds fast to her standards, who can walk awake with her morals intact no matter the age.
That's what i learned. Just a conversation looking him straight in his eyes with no yelling, cursing, hate. Wish him well. Walk out with a smile on your face with your character intact with peace of mind.
When my ex said he was done with the relationship, I asked him why? He said, “ If a person don’t love you the way you want them to love then it’s a problem.” It is a problem if you tell them what your love language is more than once and he doesn’t want to do it. Then that’s not a you problem. That’s a his problem! You’re not ready for a relationship sir! You’re only looking for your needs. A grown boy is looking to be served, a grown man is to be of service! Know your worth Ladies!
6:03 It’s sad that so many men are basically waiting for women to lead. I think a man should already want to grow and be making progress, the woman is just there to help along the way and vice versa. We don’t want to be mama to a grown boy.
Your wife was different but you were different as well. You could have moved on from her and found a woman who accepted your grown boy ways...I think a lot of women are holding on to grown boys hoping that they can can grow and evolve like you did for your wife. 😢
What girls were taught in the '50s and '60s by their fathers were to take "mad money" on a date, in case you get mad at the boy and need a cab drive home. That's what you need, women. Have "mad money" in the bank and a plan in case you need to end a relationship and get yourself set up in a new place, and always be dating several men at the same time (options) until you have a proposal and a ring from one. So when a guy does you dirty, you have options AND "Mad money." Then you won't be afraid to walk away if you're not getting the treatment you require.
@@LA-wv7gf Yes, you're right! Don't take yourself off the market. It takes a lot of time to really get to know a person. So don't allow exclusive dating until much later. Don't have sex, which in a woman's mind constitutes a relationship, but not for men. They don't see sex as a big deal. If you DON'T hold off on these things, you're always sorry later that you didn't.
This is true! My grandma would always take a lil from the grocery shopping- write a check for 25 over etc & always kept the change when my grandpa gave her cash for something. AND my grandma never went into his wallet & my grandpa NEVER went into her purse. Never not once. That was a big No NO 😂
Met a very handsome man at the gym. We went to a coffee shop for a date. I smelled his breath across the table. He wanted a kiss, I gave him hints, he finally caught the hint; instead of taking my advice he got mad and never called me again. Oh well, I don't want a man with bad breath, nasty looking teeth, tongue, gums, or poor body hygiene. Right, we are all a projects, but I personally don't want to deal with too many issues. I have 3 adult daughters, I chose not to raise a grown boy.
Taking your son to Europe to watch a fútbol game to help him follow his dreams is so beautiful, I was momentarily emotional ❤ 26:26 best believe I also took out my journal to write my standards down
Blessings to you and your family Tony! We appreciate you being a stand-up man, husband, father, and example. It’s not easy, but worth it! My Dad was a stand-up man, husband, father, leader inside of the home, in his career, at church, and in the community rest his soul, and as his daughter seeing and experiencing his great example, I would never disrespect myself or my Dad, by marrying anything less! 💖
I think that we need to remember a few fundamentals. 1) men need to know & love God FIRST - men were never designed to be restrained by women but by God & God has never need a woman’s help. So what Tony is speaking to is the failed state of man - the tendencies towards corner cutting and relational laziness. The further away from God a man is the less likely ANY woman is going to get through to him. I don’t care if she could be The One because he is not and can’t be The One. In this day and age we need to listen to people from a filter of (is this biblical)? 1) a man has to know God & the Holy Spirit be working on him AND AND 2) a woman has to know God and be trying to uphold Godly values … Those two individuals come together + compatibility & you can actually have something.
Make it clear! Bring it out! Put it on the table! Truth and understanding is served! You are right Bro. Tony! Healing is never completed and is tested while in a new relationship. You taking us to life school that is a continuous class!
I never heard anyone put life lesson into such a simple understanding… now it’s up to us as gate keepers of the family to walk it out, it’s not to late for us or our children!!!
"Are you gonna just lay down there in fear and let him walk all over you like a doormat, or are you gonna stand on your needs speak up on what you need,deserve and see if he's man enough to grow?"
Mr.Gaskins , I have been watching few of your recent videos. I am only 18 years old, so please forgive me if my question comes across as naive or gullible. But I am confused regarding whether I am supposed to date a Man of Character/ Grown man or date a Grown boy and change him into a Grown Man? Are there no Grown Men in this world? Or just Grown boys who need to be changed ? Because in one of your previous videos you spoke of how a man of character would not play the grown boy games. I am a Christian woman (virgin) living a chaste life. And I want my husband to be a chaste man who himself wants to save himself till marriage and is not doing it because I want to because that would put me in a sticky situation where I am responsible for his chastity and I do not know how that would translate into a marriage. Because than I would have to responsible for his chastity/fidelity in marriage. (Of course , I would not be a temptress testing him.) Again, please feel free to correct me . I know this is a long message but unfortunately I do not have any male figures in my life to ask this to. Thank you for your words of wisdom.
Never waste your time trying to change a man. Have your standards, stick to them, and if the man is unwilling to meet your standards cut him off immediately. If a man wants you he will do what he has to do. If he makes excuses he doesn't really want you. Get this knowledge young so you don't mess up your life trying to change a grown boy.
Whew!! This just encouraged me because holding standards and dealing with some of these men can be brutal sometimes but I will continue to stand strong 🙌🏽
youre right about the role playing. I have done this to practice my " i am no longer interested in pursuing this connection" speech to people. I feel better sating it instead of ghosting and being weird because i know how i feel when that happens to me, but there was a time i realized i was actually doing it too to the men i wasnt interested in. thats when i started practicing my communication in this situation
It’s just a matter of WHEN is a grown Boy Ready to change…sadly, most men choose not to grow because they really are tooooo comfortable. I know this because my Mom is living this life with my dad-unfortunately, and my mom is that woman that didn’t leave. She thinks it’s really “true love” just cuz she’s the ride or die chick. 😿 I am blessed to God my marriage is completely opposite of my mom and dad’s. ❤ God knew, and was looking out for me. 💯‼️ Respect yourself FIRST ☝🏽 and foremost, Ladies. It’s their loss, never yours. Don’t hesitate to leave. Life is too short to be miserable with One person forever 😂🙄 your KING is out there. 👑
Thank you, Tony! I really needed this message today. The grown boy I have dealt with for too long ghosted me and I have been so hurt. Thank you for letting me know that I must keep my standards instead of letting him trick me into thinking he won’t wait.
👸congratulations🥳it hurts😭but him ghosting is a gift from God🎁. bc u deserve a man who'll never ever ghost u . metaphorically only: condolences to her...😌
@@queensun6059 Thanks for your reply . I am feeling weak today because I still want him back. Feeling a strong yearning for him during the season. Need help staying strong and not contact him.
Ain’t ⛽️ him up but TG definitely on Mount Rushmore for real leaders of god with a voice in the world. He well known and pushes me to speak out on my platform as well. TG 👊🏾
Wonderful! It’s hard when you go through moments of self doubt for standing your ground. Then you speak about being willing to let go and know something else is for you. My ex did not consider me in his future because he didn’t know my money ie; my 401K retirement or my salary. I stood my ground and lost him, but listening today I didn’t lose.
You broke the whole code with this one. It always comes back to the same thing you've been saying for years. LOL Stand on your standards. We really do teach people how to treat us. You broke down the psychology of a man and the mindset. You know the games and ways some men manipulate so women won't complain or address issues just to be in control with no accountability. Thank you for sharing your wife's stance and exalting her due to her stance and not accepting your Bad Boy behavior. You attribute her all the time with the catalyst for your change. You are saying that out of all the easy women who let you do whatever you chose your wife because she didn't accept your crumbs and challenged you the most. How she would remove herself and in turn it motivated you to become a better man. We are going to encounter men like this yet you describe that we are worth the investment if we set a standard to be invested into. Blessings to you and your family. I hope you do Dallas soon we love and support you when you come. Your work here is important. Don't get weary in well-doing. Galatians 6: 9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.
Today it is not taught to wait until marriage. But God said to wait, sex is to consecrate the marriage for bonding and procreation of the family unit. That soul tie that is developed through sexual relations is supposed to be for husband and wife. That tie creates a bond in the spiritual world that keeps the relationship together. A woman is a made for the man to create and continue God's plan to create beings like him. Sustaining from sex allows man and woman to develop a healthy relationship to progression to the next step marriage. Marriage is honorable like Christ and the church. Men have forgotten their role and woman also not putting God as the head. Not putting God first will leave you in despair, devastation and disconnection from God. We are all projects within the body of Christ that need constant attention to what is being done to it. Lust, covetousness, envy and jealousy leads to destruction to self and your spirit. The Devil's duty is to kill and destroy you with your desire to be accepted by any means.
I actually heard this years ago. However, sometimes men will assume you are dating someone else or do not care to see them. How do you deal with that in relationships?
I would like to thank you brother, because of your advice I landed my dream job… it was in one of your videos to walk around a mall alone I did that at our shopping park and got my dream job as a beauty specialist. Thank you loads
Yes 🙌🏾 you do ! Please keep speaking ! Because you are definitely helping me! Giving wisdom and knowledge 🙏🏾 and encouragement to stand ! Because I see this in Men GOD Bless you !
Man. It sucks to look nice, cook, clean, work, not have social media, never say no to sex, and still not get what you deserve. I married you and to and to someone older. Been with one man since 19 and it just doesnt matter. Im not aggressive, dont curse, considered attractive and it really never matters. I truly give up with relationships. They were created for men. It breaks women down. Every woman i know looked better and grew when they left their relationships.
Cant play these dumb games with me. Im always gone extend the olive branch but if i feel like your energy low or you dont receive it well i will never do whatever it was to show you i care ever again.
This video shows/explains why all these "relationship coaches" and grown boys are jealous of and resent you! They are "zesty" - in the words of Dr. Umar! They have too much estrogen energy and childhood trauma to respect you in public. In private, though, they want to be you. 😉
i love this message but i have had several projects being a good one and building from the bottom tryna stick besides my man. Just to be dropped and/or ghosted and even kicked out or the man snuck and moved out once they were in a better position. never fails. but i guess that is me dealing with grown boys. i agree we all need work. but dang.
You are such an inspiration for our culture. I pray that God continue to bless you with more wisdom to pour into us. God Bless you bro I don’t know you but you definitely seem like a big bro ! 😎
Tony. You have been on fire the last few uploads. All of your content is valuable and helpful, but your transparency lately is really just opening my eyes.
This video is so on time. I had to go back to my written list of standards, trying to figure out why my current relationship isn't feeling fulfilling. I realised it's because I compromised on one of my standards.. Definitely made an effort to communicate that in a way that expresses my needs, wants and desires.
This is true consistency n a man if his word is non negotiation for me n also jus jn home dates is nothin im ever accepting again idc if I’m with him for years n one that not talkn marriage with two years n acting on it
Thank you so much for being a stand up man and sharing this! I'm a 48 year old woman who's been married for 21 years and miserable for most of it. I'm admittedly the most emotional and it does work against me. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your wisdom through your videos. May God continue to bless you and your family. 🙏❤
We have to be careful about judging a woman for her being vulnerable enough to tell you about her past. The problem is with the wrong person it can be used against her. For instance; if a woman tells you she may have anxiety attacks based on behaviors that you may display (raising your voice) from a former abusive relationship. That doesn't mean she's saying you are him. She's explaining why she has those attacks. It's also smart for you not to be blindsided if dude runs up on yall. You really need to know his character. She's not saying all men are the same. She's just saying be gentle with her.
Tony, just because a woman is not crying all the time does not make her masculine. I don’t even cry a lot, only when something really touches my heart. Also, yes I would be with a man of character if he made less.
Facts Tony, that seems to be the issue for me. My strength of being independent , and being mental stable, and motivated, has scared people off. So that tells me that they were trying to enter into my life for the wrong intentions. That's what being strong does to a weak minded person.
This was really good! We appreciate your words of wisdom so much! I also appreciate that you love your wife for who she is and you never say anything as a negative when speaking on her personality or her ways of doing things.❤
Dang I see what he's saying now I grew up in a good household my dad was stern with me be er wanted to be like a hoodlum but as I got older I got like that because of the Red Pill although they say they don't promote the hood persona they low-key do bad Boi persona ohhh girls like this girls like that bro I've been so consumed by Red Pill content they show the negatives so what are us guys going to start to think and believe we're gonna think like them eventually but when Mr Tony said a Women who stand on standards and know right from wrong but the funny thing is red pill show the women who still doing wrong but their standards are just preferences damm smhso basically red pill is doing the same thing that the crazy women are doing the hurt ppl hurting the hurt ppl I knew some was wrong with me everytime I consume red pill I felt depressed confused and hate and what Tony is talking about at the end I go through a lot in my relationships I don't really want the hood ratchet girls but my flesh does crazy how satan works as a 20year old going on 21 soon bruh I gotta get myself together when I see guys my age who have there head on straight I wonder in my head and go I wonder if there struggling to find a good women because from what society is saying the good ppl got it hard and the hurt ppl stay with the hurt pll but check this out the good ppl who are getting their hearts broken and manipulated and lied to are also becoming hurt ppl so this is crazy if we bring real feminism and the Red Pill are just two hurtful organizations who hate each other cuz they believe so strongly that everyone has no good intentions 😂you can't make this ish up and yes I still struggle with red pill content and degeneracy and yes when I see a beautiful women thoughts of lust go through my head but bro one day Ima have a family and I don't want to be the person who tells scold their kids for doing wrong we all do wrong its called sin but the only way to truly get away from it is if your relationship with God is truly real every day. And from experience I know it's hard because every day was faced with something new and I'm a Jehovah's Witness and I know some ppl are probably gonna hate me cuz of that but honestly, I don't care because at the end of the day he wants us to have the opportunity to live forever and even tho witness have a thing about us where ppl get shocked when we do wrong which to me is kinda wild cuz were all human 😑and we all met up and are imperfect God knows that but he looking to see what are we gonna do about it what are we gonna do to be better where either recognize our problem and stay the same or choose to change and be on gods side fr fr cuz the Bible says we can't be for two masters you're either on Gods side or Satan side. I know this is long but what I'm saying is this video helped me see how my actions and thinking made me reflect and see that in low-key a kid with a man's age and it crazy how even my family says it and sometimes I do not want to listen but I got too there only Trynna help me and help me to be prepared for life for marriage and to prepare for trials and its crazy that I fear one day Ima keep doing what I want to do then boom I decide to repent but it's too late but I really appreciate this message and hope to become a real man of value because I really do want that what young man doesn't want that one day crazy how I hear dudes go nah man I just wanna f all my life igh when you get😑 clap and aids don't cry sad man smh.
Young man, be encouraged and be not weary in well doing. You are being a light in a very dark world. I know you know that. But it doesn't hurt to hear it from others. Please continue ministering in such a blessed way. May the Heavenly Father bless you and your family to continue to do well and to grow in Him. Thank you!
