A Life Apart, An Ex-Hasid in Brooklyn | BK Stories 

MrsJay89 They somehow have the ability to have these matters decided by leaders within their own community rather than having a regular court do it, as I understand. I don’t get how that’s legal...

Watch the Netflix movie "One of Us". The community votes for biased secular court judges. This happened in secular court. Also, the community pays for the best lawyers for the remaining parent.

My understanding is that family courts believe that if a divorced parent deviates from what the children grew up with, it is too emotionally damaging for them to handle, even if thier upbringing was not considered the norm, like chassidisism.

Yechify the parent should be allowed to at least visit once a week. It is totally inexcusable in a modern society to deny visitation if the parent is not abusive. These judges are paid off. This is a powerful community...

@@mlonardoxu Agreed. I don't know the specifics of the case but I'm just recounting what the basis is for the courts. I'm not saying one side is more right than the other. There very well may be some power struggles going on.

MegaAsuo I literally just finished watching! It was so fascinating

C Moore very much so

Two extremist community stories,no context given. 👎

That wasn’t real close to the true story but good. Her husband actually left with her

Maureen Barnes I’ve been following since watching it. Now I’m YouTubing Jewish weddings 😬 they look like so much fun!

Return ex chossids. Or pick a different hashkafah, doesnt matter. This story smells fishy af and why does she need a new name. I am sorry she is being abused by the secularists, she should be placed in a hassidic home if her father was abusive.

​@@walleras her hasidic father abused her, and she changed her name to get away from that. I see that's difficult for you to wrap your head around.

3 million Jews heard G-d speak By what right do you change what G-d put forward in front of 3 million witnessess. (Until the advent of TV no event was so witnessed. Next you will try and deny the moon landing or 9/11)

Open borders for israel

Thanks for tuning in!

He found lies

@@walleras That makes no sense. Have no idea what you mean.

Generally this is not free of charge. We have to pay the price of our choices. Tough hard but right

@@plauditecives 3 million people heard the voice of G-d at mount Sinai. Its silly to think they had a mass hallucination or all conspired to lie.

It has nothing to do with church and state. Family courts consider moving in with a parent that changes faith as emotionally damaging. You do not have to agree with that premise, but that is thier reasoning.

YECHIFY It's far more to do with the community's power as a voting block as judges are voted in.

@@rachelmccormack9591 Yes. Having just read his book, that is exactly what happened. Along with the mother and the community psychologically manipulating the children into estrangement from their father.

@@YECHIFY that is wicked straight from the pit of she'ol

And teach the children his lies, I think not.

Leer Wesen It wouldn't do him any good. They are told from sunrise to sunset that he is wrong and evil.

Hes only telling one side of the story in case you didnt realize.

Leer Wesen those Rabbanical courts are the problems. Because those courts enforces laws written in Talmud (opinions of rabbies) rather then Law of Torah (God's Law.) So sad.

Corruption

@kris scarpetti He left the religion and can work

It wont, Jews are supposed to be Jewish. Either he or his children will be back or in four generations his children will not be jewish

We follow the laws of the US. No doubt a secular court passed down the ruling as visitation as I recall isnt a concept in Jewish law.

It's effectively a religious no-go zone. They control everything in there from the schools to the ambulances and even law enforcement to a degree. The law is afraid to go against them.

Based on the way that Shulem Deen describes it (see below), he was defeated by "lawfare" which is when one party makes the legal expenses of fighting so high that the other side relents. That, combined with intentional parental alienation, results in the system being unable to help secure joint custody. "[My former wife and I] agreed to resolve matters about the children between us, but several months later, I found myself in family court, facing complaint after complaint on minor matters of religion and Hasidic custom. I was wearing jeans when I picked up the children, one petition read. I fed them matzo on Passover that was square and machine-baked, rather than round and handmade, read another. There was concern that I might take the children to “atheist places”-which I could only surmise meant natural history museums or maybe a movie theater. And so she wanted me out of our children’s strictly Hasidic lives. The complaints were brought by my ex-wife, but I knew also that community “experts” were involved. One community member in particular, one of my ex-wife’s relatives, tasked himself as overseer of my children’s fates. As he told one of my own family members: “We may not have a legal case. But we can beat him down emotionally and financially. He’ll have to give up eventually.” I remember laughing when I heard it. It sounded ludicrous. A family court judge could not rule on the basis of religion, I imagined. I was unaware that even with a strong case, custody battles could cost many tens of thousands of dollars, which the community could easily raise but I could not. I was unaware that, when held in Rockland County, N.Y.-a hub of American ultra-Orthodoxy, less than an hour north of New York City-custody battles required rabbis, community leaders, and Orthodox family therapists on your side. I was unaware that family courts were also part of the local political machinery and that elections and constituencies were never far from a judge’s mind. I was unaware that my relatively meager resources were no match for a powerfully resourceful community with an ideological stake in the future of my children. Most of all, I was naive about the powers of religious extremism to control the minds of children themselves.... I had watched, after my family’s issues were brought into court, how my children’s attitudes changed markedly. They grew withdrawn in my presence, eating dinner in silence and refusing the books and games I had bought them. My boisterous bunch of three girls and two boys, ages 6 to 14, who had previously seemed always to be crawling all over me at all times, began to speak to one another in hushed tones, their attitudes subdued, looking to each other awkwardly and to me barely at all. They began to inspect the labels on food products, and then picked at their dinners reluctantly. When I asked what was wrong, they turned away, looked at the clock, anxious to leave. Finally, my 7-year-old son looked me in the eye. “Mommy says you want to turn us into goyim [Non-Jews].” " From his article: In Death of Ex-Hasid Estranged From Her Religious Children, a Mirror for Trauma of Many

would that include whites who want to live by themselves and want to have kids or is that just “muh white supremacy?”

@@No-gl9vr No one brought that up

It is right. If he wants to leave the community then he leaves the community and we dont bother him but he cannot have his cake and eat it too

@@No-gl9vr It depends. If those Whites want to create an isolated community with its own services and churches that don't actively prevent minority settlement, but simply don't incorporate them into these selected services, I don't see the issue with a "White Isolationism". Hassids don't prevent Non-Hassids from moving into their neighborhoods or treat them poorly; they simply deny them access to Hassid-community-provided services. However, no White Supremacist movement operates along these lines. They want a political exclusion of minorities. They want to live in places where they cannot see minorities and can pretend that they don't exist. And to the extent that they interact with minorities, they wish to bully them and treat them derisively. That is unacceptable. A "White Ethnostate" as Richard Spencer proposes is fundamentally different from a Hassidic community on these grounds.

@@walleras What kind of nonsense is that? No. He is the child's father and he has a right to see his kids barring some kind of criminal malfeasance (abuse, etc.). He doesn't deserve the right to have a family court deny him access to his kids through lawfare and parental alienation. Would you say the same if he had wound up with the seven children and his former wife (who stayed in the community) was forbidden from seeing them because he was able to sue her into oblivion or poison the children against her? -- Of course, not, because you believe that those children should be pushed into the community.

No he had a leader. In Judaism we welcome descent its baked into our religion. The talmud records discenting opinions for a reason

Im very happy. The heretic can go do his heresies its not my business but cant spread hus lies to his impressionable kids.

@@walleras You are easily offended. If you are a person of faith, all you have learned is to be nasty and judgmental. Perhaps your attitude has already answered many questions here.

@@plauditecives I am declared a cult, a racist, a bigot. My good sir, what should I not be offended by then brutal attacks upon my religion and lies. Slander is something people should be offended at. I don't have to be nice or tolerant of the slanderer. I'll save it for other people.

The main reason is, because they lost millions people in the Holocaust, so they are trying to be as many as they used to. There is also a commandment to “go forth and multiply”.

No... Despite what the media whats you to think us chossids are perfectly happy.

U talk shit

Yes but the children most probably were told to tell the court they want nothing to do with him. If the children have accepted being religious fanatics themselves then seeing their father will be damaging to their pysche.

Unfortunately the court In the hasidic is different than the one in the U.S which is very stupid because why should they have their own laws

WOW smh...

@@byul9490 It's almost like having Sharia law in this country.

crunchyfrog63 Exactly.

Its from his point of view, if he wants to leave the community we wont force him but why should he get to reject our tenets and stay in the community? That doesnt make any sense. I have no doubt he caused a ruccus and thats why they drummed him out.

@@walleras I don’t believe what you stated. He was kicked out for thinking for himself and exposing himself to other information that was contrary or different to your beliefs. All religions that confine you from thinking for yourself out of control and fear, are at there core cults or should should be questioned. Fear, control, confinement and intimidation may give people a sense of freedom, but it never truly frees a person.

@@user-xm5le5ok2r We prize thinking for yourself, just not acting for yourself. You can think all you want but do not break community, if you do then don't cry when you...Break community. Freedom is a lie.

@@walleras Now that is deep. You telling me if I’m happy I can’t be happy if everyone is sad. That means you can’t celebrate your difference. You can only celebrate conformity.

@@user-xm5le5ok2r There is a difference between your extremes and the philosophy of Judaism. By eliminating surface differences we are able to truly celebrate individuality. You clothes don't make you different, your personality is. When I speak of conformaty I am talking about how we all dress the same. We all follow the same laws. That makes a community. But should you not rejoice with your brother? And mourn with them as well?

Scientology! A cult!

JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES AKA. CULT

Spoken like a secularist. He eants to leave the community, no having your cake and eating it too

It not all religion. This is not the entirety of judaism. It’s a sect within the religon. Most jews practise their faith and engage with the secular world.

I dont understand yall. If you leave the community why are you expecting to still be apart of it

@@walleras This has really rankled you, hasn't it. You seem rather (or very) conflicted yourself. If you were happy in your faith, you would not be upset by a member's departure from it. Obviously, you have many things you need to work out.

No it doesn’t, I’ve seen Catholics marry non Catholics, ex Catholics are treated no differently.

The only person in this comment with an iq above the single digits

@Strava 89 my rabbi only speaks Hebrew, can't read latin script (english as it is known there) is utterly terrified by my 'dangerous' Greek knowlege & raises his kids to live off of a single potato-chip on shabbos. i thought he was pulling a prank, but the sad thing is, that i a barbarian in his eyes must civilise the civilised

I was raised in a fundamentalist ultra conservative Christian home and it was the same. Logic and reason are replaced with narrow-mindedness and intolerance. I chose to allow my children the freedom to educate themselves and make their own decisions, because forced faith is no faith at all....

@@ariebrons7976 if English is Latin, what do you call Latin?

@Marco A Thats quite funny :)

@@angelasanchez4413 I take it you have not been to college. In most cases, you would find the culture similar to your upbringing as you have described it.

Tov meod

ya he should toooootally be happy he wont get to see his kids again!

I hope he enjoys this life. Because he certainly won't the next one

if you try to intervene youd be called an antisemite many have tried

They also graduate not knowing basic math or science. Right now all are breaking the Covid-19 quarantine because they don't even know what a germ is. They never learned it in school. Politicians won't shut down these schools or arrest because they all vote. They are untouchable. Circumcisions are done by a rabbi by sucking the baby's penis with his mouth. Many babies have died from this due to herpes spreading to the baby. Here in NYC, Lakewood, NJ Borough Park, Kiryas Joel, NY they have 10-20 kids per family...all dependant on welfare. This is a humanitarian crisis because of severe educational neglect of the kids. Watch the Netflix movies:. "Unorthodox" and "One of Us".

Why should this be allowed in the US, people are living lives different from me?

I highly doubt the kids do not know at least some english.

Private religious institution.

@Bennett McCoy most Hasidics are not this either. This is a extremist group.

I would think that most people Understand that not just most Jews, but most Hasidics are not like this..... at least I would hope.

We understand that this is a small sect of altra conservative Jews. I know and understand that not all Jews are like this.

Actually Jewish?

@@jayo8852 He is lying no doubt, just like every single one of these documentaries. No unorthodox, Satmar doesnt do that.

bass13mary modesty is good but ignorance is bad....not to mention using women as breeding vessels only

bass13mary ask Commie DeBlasio

You have rights to refuse a marriage you do not want... it’s not really like that. He could find another Jewish community if he want it. Not all Hasidic community are the same.

@@cataboss8288 Women can use birth control if they wish.

D Di P Modesty doesn’t just apply to dress also to deeds. This constant need of self aggrandizement, showing off, and constant selfie pictures is off putting about our culture.

Shouldnt be anyone, that doxumentary is trash and full of lies. She was never Satmar

Dont read his books and ones like them. They do not give an accurate pictire. If you are curious ask your local chabad rabbi, they will be happy to help

I agree. Court doesn't care if father has renounced his religion.

Read his book. His children were brainwashed to see him as the devil. Courts can't change that. His kids had to reject him if they were to be accepted by their community. In addition, their community was able to pay the extravagant costs for a protracted legal battle. These sects have endless funds for what cause they consider important. From his book, according to a community spokesperson: "We might not be able to win in court, but we can beat him down emotionally and financially until he has no choice but to give up." That's the kind of evil we're talking about here.

See the Reply to dogboy

They live in public housing

scamming

On the public dole

Workers support learnings Im against it myself but he stilm shouldnt air our dirty laundry everywhere

No respect, he is full of lies and slander

@@walleras just curious but how do you know??? He earned respect because he can think of his own

@@grop66 Because I am one of these evil chossids. What he was talking about isn't true as usual.

@@walleras I know that not all people are the same, but I guess he’s experienced like he described.

I know.. there's alot of different Hasidic groups, but no where to go to get the difference between them. However, some are stricter then others.

kwixotic can you remember what it’s called please

@@compendioussuccient6784 yes called unorthodox

Another one is called "One of Us" . Great documentary, well made, so sad :(

@@Confident-Village148 All extremist community stories. They don't bother to explain that most Jews,orthodox,Hasidics would never do any of that.

Yes, Scientology also comes to mind.

It is the responsibility of the father to help out with the children in every eay he can. One exception does not make the rule.

Lunatic4Bizcas I dont see you complaining about the Amish

Family court is part of the US court system, but judges are elected, and the Ultra-Orthodox vote together as one, so the only judges to hear this guys case in his former community, were judges on the side of the religious authorities.

You don’t understand. The orthodox community has unlimited funds as well as unlimited free lawyers to sue him to death. They will continue to beat him down in court because they can afford it.

This is a strong contender for comment of the day.

Its similar to how some countries (like the UK) have a Sharia court for Muslims (Which they can use if they want to) for religious/divorce matters, which is separate from the Law of the country/state. Its screwed up.

Modox like us just fine and we like them

@@walleras Wrong. Your cult is just that: a controlling narcissistic cult of the patriarchal male. Glad I was raised secular.

More likely the judge was elected by the community because of his loyalty to the community.

Dont its full pf lies

They arent that opened. Tbh the internet and tv js garbage, much more relaxing to worry only about your own communitu

Strava 89 Which languages?

Pursue Torah and you will find it. Dont let secularists and yoshke stop you.

There arent that many to speak up. A few go off the derech but most people are perfectly happy. We are fine, stop with the netflix documentaries that are full of lies.

@@walleras You're not fine. Living in seclusion and isolation from oneself. Being brainwashed into believing who you are/aren't. That is not fine

+imaof4 I am impressed by your tolerance. I THINK you meant RambaM who reconciles Greek philosophy and Judaism. The challenges today to the Orthodox Jewish narrative are much more severe. If you care I can provide you with a link detailing some of today's challenges. We are talking kefirah and apikorses of the serious kind.

+D. Apple Thank you for the correction about Rambam - quite right, so I've edited it. :) I'm not a posek, so I don't presume to know who is or is not a true apikores - my understanding is they should know torah b kulo (all of torah) and then refute. Regardless of label or ostracism from the Skver community, Shulem exercised his bechira (free will) - some may say his free will to choose his yetzer ha'ra (evil inclination)... Peeked at your other comment: If I remember correctly from the book, he was living a double life, in the company of other shul (synagogue) attendees who skipped the davening prayer service) and was 'outed' so to speak because of advice he gave to someone, rather than openly break with the community... Yup, consequences. There are always consequences. Which Shulem was more than aware of. No one in the Orthodox community is happy when someone goes off the derech (off the path), however there are different levels of acceptance/tolerance. His community is an all or nothing contract - they feel they are shielding themselves from keeping away from bad influences that will distract from what is important in their way of life.

+imaof4 Who can know 'all of Torah' and so can they really be held accountable for heresy ? Spoken in the tolerant Rabbinic tradition. Shalom.

@@DApple-sq1om He does no such thing. Do not slander the Rambam

He didn't agree to this at all! He fighted but the odds were all against him. Read the book. It's heartbreaking.

@@Myshkin1965 He left the community, he cant have his cake and eat it too

+D. Apple You mean Haredi Orthodox Judaism. They are insular but you don't explain yourself well, since almost any (non liberal) religious group i.e. any that truly believe, doesn't accept "heretics".

@ Boliussa - Correct some other fundamentalistic religions may act the same way. I mean virtually all of Orthodox Judaism, even most in the Modern Orthodox who only give the impression of being modern, accepting and less insular.

The difference between it being suppression and it being valuable is the choice element. Which is completely eradicated in this case. They don’t have a say.

faith Davis the children were with them -out

dogboy Under US precedent, if one parent makes a major change and the other doesn't, it is preferable to keep the children in the consistency that they were raised (I.e living with their mother). Thus the children are told from sunrise to sunset that their father is wrong and evil.

doggyboy: Don't know if you read the book or otherwise know anything about the Hasidim of New York/New Jersey, but they pay BIG $$$$$ to local political campaigns to elect politicians who promise to leave them alone as much as possible. That is why the secular, government courts have very little sway over internal Hasidic matters.

wow this is some sick shit😕

@@joseftrumpeldor6240 a classic problem in the USA nowadays... don't want to enforce the laws, people take advantage of it, gets worse. Not just in religious situations. Always putting off fixing a problem.not everyone or everywhere, but unfortunately too common.

@@MegaBallPowerBall Or he isnt mentioned much at all

Not good ones

People with a judgement look on the community as a whole should know that we are individual people too. Some of us want to know better.

Agreed honey

Hello fellow lubavitcher

You know how stupid that is. In Jewish law the man has to give the wife sex, not the otherway around. The man is more sex toy then the woman is.

Maureen Barnes public schools maybe. Private schools don’t receive state funding and aren’t required to follow common core nonsense.

I used to live close to Yeshiva around Foster/Kimball in Chicago and kids there spoke English

Cringe

That is all organized religions. All of them. Glad I walked away.