You sourced footage from Unorthodox and One of Us, both of which are about the Satmar adjacent sects, but you tell the story of a woman who joined Chabad-Lubavich. You are mixing two very different worlds. This woman has a story to tell and I want to hear it, but it is so wrong to mix her Chabad story with the Satmar story. Satmar and Lubavich are so very different; it's really disingenuous to tell them as one, and often when it is done I wonder if it is intentional. As in, to make this woman's background look more extreme, the imagery implies she is Satmar, even while she tells us she joined Chabad.
@@zogyechi When a young girl of 18 is shidduch-ed into marriage, it is not clear that "she decided". It was decided for her. When she got older, and was mistreated, she left.
I think is very easy to judge, to think she was already an adult, but we are vulnerable at all ages, we crave for family, community, connection, a sense of belonging... I hope you heal everything and send you a hug ❤
Stalin messed up the Russian Jews, all the vodka in the world couldn't wash the trauma he did to Russia and Jews in particular. Olga is a disoriented jew. Stalin would be proud of her.
I was a history professor at Touro College; most girls were religious. There was one woman, in particular, who was Lubavitch. She is about 35 years old, has four children, and is married. She was going to school to be a nurse. I didn't get the impression that her husband was upset about this. She had been one of 13 kids herself. She would come into my office every so often and email me once in a while. The woman in this video had a lousy marriage. And perhaps this world isn't suitable for her.
Of course thats so....the entire Touro college bklyn, half the time (half half with mens nights) is women.....who is there on women's nights if not for 100s of women.
Lol yes I was trying to stitch together a narrative where the inclusion of hatikva made sense. Like fleeing the hassidic community to find freedom and hope…..but no I don’t think it makes any sense lol.
What I like about these stories is that in many cases people aren't "throwing the baby out with the bathwater." In other words, they continue to live out their faith and fashion it as they see fit. That's a good sign and takes a lot of strength to do.
I'm reading a lot of judgmental comments here. For a community so loving seems very angry when a member disagree with all these practices? I'm Christan not Jewish we call these rules " legalism" endless rule following doesn't bring you closer to God it's a heart change not a long list of rules to follow. I'm starting to see why she wanted to leave. Sad we believe that following man made rules endlessly is cult behavior. Your heart change comes from God in your heart pleasing him not a bunch of men ( or people) 🤷
Some women mess up, Olga is one of them. Nothing to do with faith. You don't divorce over pants and hair, and deprive your kid any siblings, and a father. That damage of growing up in a broken home is only realized years later.
I don't understand you of your own free will was in college and droped out to live this life. This life was not foisted on you by your family. I don't get it!
She was an immigrant in a country with a new language, etc. She wasn't going to go back to Russia so another way of clinging to her past, maybe, was to embrace the Judaism of her ancestors.
@@Peter-ov6xh I missed the fact she was an immigrant ... however most Jewish people who remained in Russia are secular. I don't get your point can you be more precise?
@@saristeier6658 Yeah, most Russian Jews are secular (think of Avigdor Liberman in Israel - very anti-Haredi) but my point was that, once she got to a new country, she may have used Chabad as a way of connecting to her heritage and ancestors, as her distant ancestors would have been Orthodox.
It seems to me she thought the life among the people with the same ancestry as her, is what she wanted. However, after being in that life, she decided it was not for her. She tried something, it did not fit with her personality and she left. This could happen to any person especially if they are very young.
It sounds like it was a bad marriage and the change was too great to cope with. I’m glad you found contented Jewish family life in the end. If you had a more supportive husband, friends who could have problem solved with you, and a role in the community, you could have found fulfillment. I’m sure your former husband remarried, I hope he was more flexible and responsive to his second wife.
It is interesting to learn about other communities and their faiths. I observe Olga made a free choice to join a community, she was not a child bride nor was she born into this community and encumbered by the demands or expectations of family. She then decided it wasn't for her. The clip seems critical of the community, but I cannot see the grounds for criticism in this particular case. Unfortunately, many marriages fail. This just seems like another failed marriage.
The thing is that she didn't join a community, she joined a cult. She was a teen, far from home and was lured into this group with love bombing and wonderful education. They did to her the same thing that cults like Jehovas Witnesses do. She was vulnerable and they preyed upon her.
All she did is make it worse. Just listen to her. I want this. I want that, I......She never once stopped to think about her child not having a father... And I can tell you. being raised without a Father breeds nothing but suffering and regret. As you run around living for yourself. I was lucky.. Jesus Christ intervened in my life. I never been the same since then...As I was a thief, liar, cheat etc..And I was good at it...
What about my values? and the things that I want and the things I like and the things that I want to accomplish in life outside of being a mother / running a household / producing children..... I think even women in the secular world can understand this sentiment... I do.
It sounds like Olga never really “joined” this community, which is understandable as she was seeking something to connect her to family. It’s a big move to a new country.
You're 100% right. I was thinking the same thing. She was not forced to do anything. She decided on her own to join that community, to get married etc. If anyone is to blame it's her. And what about her husband? She pretended to be something she wasn't and then screwed him over.
Yes, if you want to escape is the exact word for someone that grew up in the community. You say "you're welcome to leave" but none of your former friends and family will talk to you, certainly not eat by you, right Rochel? Be honest, how many smart women would have been happy to get a proper education and be more independent like Olga, but can't do so because they will have no support of their family?
This video made me sad and frustrated. Enough of this type of video! There is no need for or idea of escaping or of being trapped or of a cult. These communities are usually in large cities, not far off compounds. Our communities have infrastructure and deep rooted traditions and trust in our leadership. Specifically in this video - there are clips of movies that don't portray the same community she is coming from whoops, do your research. If this was real, she and her husband would have consulted experts and their rabbi before making such life changing decisions. Maybe you edited it out. Most functional couples - don't have a two or three sentence discussion 1)i want to go to work2) Nope and thats final.3) Okay I'm leaving and taking your child away and see you in court. The list of inaccurate information misleading information spelling Chassidishe with an H....goes on and on. If you wanted to you could have prefaced with This is a short film Not a documentary. These video stories (this is not an original storyline, it's more like reality tv) are made for shock value,viewership$$, and are completely misleading. Deborah Feldman may have started this but you need to end this. Film your own family unedited I dare you. Snoozefest....
Your soul simply didn’t belong to the community you were in… their ways clearly was not yours but it doesn’t mean that the community was bad. You left, you left… I know hundreds of Chassidic Jews very happy with very happy families. Unfortunately you were not one of them.
@@juliehartley1619 I have many sisters living from Borough Park to Eretz Israel. All happy and with balanced lives close to HaShem. A Jewish soul is a Jewish soul.
In the courts of edom is it really a big deal? Pharoah said "and all the daughters shall live" giving woman rights is part of how to destroy a people. Do not confuse it for a good thing.
You're 100% right! She changed HER mind. Misrepresented herself as being part of the community. Then takes their child. The husband did nothing wrong except trust her and believe her that she was part of his community. I understand that a person can change and regret their decisions, but she was certainly no victim and has no right to full custody after screwing him over.
Note that there was no other option presented to the judge by the husband. He sued for sole custody only. Absent any sign of abuse or neglect, the judge would of course rule in favor of the mother in an infant child. Judges can't rule on options that are not presented to them! Neither Olga nor her husband are guilty or innocent. This is a case of unrecognized, internalized cultural assumptions in each one of them, which did not come to light until after they were married. He is not wrong for assuming she would behave as every other married woman in his world, she is not wrong for assuming he would behave as every other married man did in her experience. Prior to marriage, none of us ask questions when we assume the other person "knows" what we "know". This is not limited to insular religious communities, it is universal.....
if a case is in front of a judge - he is not "dismissed" for giving a verdict on the narrow claim presented to him - if they made it to the judge it means there is a fire burning that needs attention - his job is to bring the real matter to light and resolve it where these 2 people failed to express themselves correctly. telling me the technical patterns of the case still do not clean the judge of effort to make the world a better place. @@gailmcn
Thank God she escaped that radical community and can raise her daughter in a normal atmosphere. I am Jewish and was not raised in a Hasidic home, but an orthodox home. I was forced to go to Hebrew school, and I was a 10 year old and the only girl in the class. I cut school and my parents found out they were paying for classes I did not attend. My orthodox father loved me so much, he accepted the fact that I did not buy into the ultra religious ideals. I married a Jewish guy who was not religious also, and we did not keep a kosher home.
Having differing traditions does not automatically imply that the one with the most behavioral expectations is necessarily the abnormal one, or that the one with the least restrictions is the normal one. By definition, "normal" is what is usual, typical, or expected. If you were one of only a few who rejected your community's traditions in favor of less or no restrictions, then that would make you the abnormal one!
Her daughter will live in a big empty house, not brothers and sisters, a mother that sees no value in having a man who is a good example for the girl... Her father far away unable to be a influence on her life, her life is half destroyed already, and for what? Open hair and pants 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
@@zogyechiHow can you possibly know what her life is going to be like, if she will have siblings or not, or if she will enjoy her lifestyle or not? Are you some kind of spiritistic medium? Perhaps you are. Human beings were created with the gift of free will. They are not robots to be programmed or coffee machines to come with a manual. They are free moral agents who have the right to make their own decisions whether others like them or not. As for the "father", he can continue his life as an automaton since this is what he has chosen for himself. Άντε γεια, λοιπόν!
"What about my values and the things that I want?" Maybe you should have thought of that before you married into a world that apparently went against those things.
At the time you got married those were your values and the things that you wanted. You chose that lifestyle. You obviously were too immature to make such a major decision about your future. And look how many people have been hurt by your behaviour.
You are a fundamentalist, evangelical Protestant Christian and NOT a Jew...you are of Jewish heritage, blood, parentage, whatever but you are NOT a Jew. Not one single maintstream American Jew of Reform, Conservative, Reconstructionist or Orthodox denominations of Judaism recognizes you as a Jew and all their rabbinates utterly reject your characterization. As the late Jackie Mason said upon winning his lawsuit against Jews For Jesus, "You cannot be a table and a chair."
Brave?? How? She was confused and messed up. Fooled her husband into thinking she was part of the community and then changes her mind, takes their child and screws him over.
Nobody forced her at first. She never believed in the religion, of course she would have had hard time following the life style. She left, and the victim was the husband.
Can someone explain to me why the boys are expected to learn the Torah and Hebrew, but then the girls are expected to learn English and secular topics? I mean, it's no wonder that a woman would want to "escape" Hasidic Jewry-- she was never fully immersed in it in the first place. If you're gonna try to catpure your own audience in your own culture, you should go all-in with it, with everyone, no?
Only men can learn Torah and this requires Hebrew (and Aramaic). Women outside of the land of Israel often don't know loshen koidesh (Hebrew) as they are not supposed to learn Hebrew the way a man does. Women do need English, though, if they are going to help support the family (help keep their husband in kollel, maybe).
@@eternallyfree257 it’s so sad, modern day feminism and the breakdown of the nuclear family has really upset me to watch and the sexualisation of women, I feel beautiful dressing modestly I don’t wear makeup and I’m more confident now than I ever was growing up as a secular teenager with no guidance or boundaries
The woman is expected to work outside of the home to pay rents, bills, food, etc. Also they must keep house, raise the Children ( of which their are expected to be many!) And cook, clean., etc. They have to, therefore , speak English in order to work. Men are classed as more important and Holy, the Head of the House. They do NOTHING of the housework, cooking or childrearing. They learn Religious scripts most, if not all , of the day. Secular learning is not encouraged! Hence they speak minimal, if any, English so cannot Work outside the home to raise money or integrate outside the Orthodox System Some may earn a little money teaching the Torah, or working for others in their Belief System. These jobs are obviously few. Most prefer to just study , full time, and expect the responsibility of the Home, and the financial support of the Husband too, to lay on their Wives shoulders.
I'm happy for her but feel the father, he is dying from the inside for not being with his child, people should choose wisely before taking drastic steps like joining a community and getting married.
So not one of the 2% who leave really as she only turned towards it once 18 at college? It is never very easy. The story of King Solomon offering to cuta child in two sums it up. How can a child live in two worlds and with 2 parents in different places? However leaving early on makes it easier. Good luck to everyone involved and i hope the father's family has some chance to see the girl
Good luck❤Its funny to read comments here so we all could see how many evil people from this sect writining against other religion,one of them even insulting church.
They are pointing out the dishonesty in this video. And there is certainly plenty of evil to say about the church although I'm not sure what that has to do with this.
When she said New Jersey, I remembered my experience living in a town called Lakewood for a month, which was a nightmare. I was a student travelling to US on 'Work and travel' programme. I imagined America being a paradise from the films I watched and when I came to that dirty place it was a complete shock😩😩. It was in 2002 though, I know that that town looks all right now but back then... And it was my first time seeing I guess which was a Hasidic community. They were not friendly to us at all, looking down I would say. And the hotel we stayed at belonged to an old Jewish man, who was not a good person as well. Plus the place was filthy. Anyway, we moved to another part of the state and were happy!!
Lol you wish you could live there.... unfortunately jealous. Real estate is through the roof. MOST people live in 3k sq ft or more homes. Stunning shops, stunning super stores, stunning school building, lawns. TOO much so actually, so WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???? You prob didnt realize (duh pie in face) that you were living on the 'other side of the tracks' section of town (not literally tracks....but like the little urban area that nobody really lives in that every comfortable/wealthy area has bordering it everywhere 😂).
What were you thinking jumping into this coming from where you did? Why did you need to go extreme then insult these people? You could have taken the middle way if you wanted.
Good decision leaving. But. She was not one of them before. She was a Russian brought up in the atheist USSR. An immigrant who took advantage of the only community that accepted her. Good for her, but….
Sounds like someone who went through a crisis after emigration. Found a wonderful community inbher crisos then turned on it. Happens in all sorts. She was lucky that CHABAD was there for her. Could have been all sorts of bad things in her crisis.
The word 'escape' troubles me. Why not just 'leaving' ? What is it you are escaping into ? A drug-ridden, crime-ridden secular world where people live and die without hope. Even Muslims know the West is sick and lost. These Hasidic men and women have dignity and morality and transcendence.
I'm not sure exactly what Olga's issues were with the Chassidic sect she married into. From this brief video, it seems the worst of her troubles involved following the communities rules about appearance, socializing, and gender roles. She decided to leave. Okay. But when she took Masha with her, that's a purely selfish decision, and she robbed Masha's father from having a meaningful life with his daughter. That isn't a reflection of the Chassidic community; it is a reflection of her character. I could never live in that world, or an Amish or Muslim world. But I also wouldn't have married into that world thinking I can bend the rules to fit my desires. These communities fight hard to keep people from changing their customs. That's the point, isn't it?
@smking100 I think Olga made it very clear in her story that it was the transfer of CHOICE over all her activities to her husband, once she married (not objections to any particular rule, only that she had NO say). This was something she had not really understood when she agreed to marry him. Also, her husband did not have any previous experience of a woman wanting a choice different from every other married woman in his world. A case of unrecognized, internalized cultural assumptions in both individuals being revealed only after marriage. As to taking Masha with her, this was not a selfish decision. Note that there were only two options here. Either/or. Either she had sole custody, OR her husband did. In his world, no possibility of joint custody. No sharing. All or none. She was not trying to deprive her husband of any contact with his daughter, she was just taking the only option available to her, if she ever was ever to have contact with her daughter again.
@@gailmcn so Olga basically acted selfishly, rather than change her nature to fit what she married into, and learn to be a good Chassidic wife. Her choice to take Masha was still wrong. The either/or argument doesn't make it okay.
@@smking100 If that's your rationale for calling Olga selfish, then you also must label her husband selfish.. He too had the option to change his 'nature' for the sake of fitting into the marriage, he also wanted to take Masha for himself, away from her other parent. But your scenario is not what happened here. This was two people who did not know of each other's inner expectations until after they married, A failure of communication, and a failure of older, wiser people on both sides to advise them of the problems in marriages where there is previous different cultural and social experiences, so that they did have a conversation about their expectations. .And then two people who both wanted what they saw as best for their daughter, and also saw the other parent as wanting to do things that would hurt their child.
@@gailmcn you're completely ignoring the fact that the community and the religion come first. They follow tradition, not their own will. That's why they protect the culture, else they wouldn't be Chassidic, would they?
@@smking100 That's exactly what I was getting at....that's one of the expectations that was apparently not discussed before the marriage.....the husband's expectation that she would always put the religion and the community's traditions first, and that he would make the decisions about when she was doing that or not doing it. He assumed she knew this, she didn't. She didn't grow up with the same traditions his community had, That should have been obvious to everyone involved in getting them together: she wasn't from his group, based on her disclosed history. So why no one thought she needed any clarification of what was expected of her in a marriage in this particular community, is a mystery to me. Even the Hasidic marriage contract doesn't cover this; it's all about what the husband's obligations are to the wife, not what the wife will provide the husband. (per an interview Frieda Vizel did with a Hasidic wife).
Oh, she had to dress modestly. I am not Jewish. And I don't feel respect for such people who abandon their roots and tell the world how bad the community was.
Why do you have Williamsburg in the beginning of this video and all the faux scenes are with polish style chasidim but you were involved with Chabad... these are so different. Chabad is insanely open... Chabad women have all kinds of high paying jobs and careers and yah men and women don't sit together at weddings.. it's a religion... not a cult.... I find this video an exaggeration
The rules of the community should not have come as a surprise after marrying into it. And the father never saw his daughter again- because his ex-wife married into a community she left? Poooh, this is not fair to the man.
that's right..... his choice to insist on sole custody only, with no other option. However, this is not evidence of unloving or "inappropriate control" in him. As with the case of Solomon and the baby claimed by two mothers, there is love, and wisdom, in recognizing that it is better a child be raised in one world, than risk harm to its personality/identity development by being raised in two conflicting worlds ("splitting" the baby in half). It's likely that the husband (and his tradition of Chasidim in general) recognizes the difficulty for a child in having to grow up with conflicting expectations in behavior and belief. Being neither fish nor fowl, yet compelled to alternate between the two.
Why is this woman so selfish what if the man picked up & ran away with the child, everybody would be up in arms how dare he pick himself up & abandon his wife. He did nothing to deserve this if she had an issue she should of dealt with it like an adult. No one forced her to join this community & get married & have a child, she made all these choices as an adult!
The people in the comments so critical of her and her own personal experiences are simply calling themselves out. We get it babes, ya'll so brainwashed that any resistance throws you into a spiral. 😂
@JennyStar156 so everything she said is a lie because YOU haven't lived through it? Get a grip...she's speaking on her life experience. If you want to live in your delusional little cookie cutter bubble go ahead, but the rest of us can see through it 💁🏻♀️
Olga, you joined in marriage, you looked very very happy on your wedding day, you made a deal with your husband, you probably suffered from depression after child birth, you did not honor your commitment to your husband. He did not ask you for anything out of the ordinary, no domestic violence, no abuse just you not ready to be responsible to hold up your agreement. You knew chabad which are a great you could of joined and instead you now live alone with your daughter "in pants and open hair". instead of in a house with more brothers and sisters for your 1 child, with a husband that can protect you and your kids. But you chose the "VALUES" of the global mamzer club over Judaism. While non Jews are running to the torah, you run the other way, you did not aprriciate what you had and by the time you did, you destroyed everything. Mazal tov. I hope your husband found a nice girl and is happy even though you put him through this setback, and I hope your daughter will forgive you for your decision. And because you have chosen a life with not much direction, I can only bless you to find direction. Microsoft..... Bill gates.... Depopulation..... So you work for the devil now? You happy? This is what you wanted?
As already said, you left the community of your own volition This is fair enough but the whinging is dangerous and destructive for all those happily living in the community.. This life was obviously not for you.
What an awful woman slandering her community like that. I hope the husband found someone better that he can love and love him back like he deserves. Shame on this woman
